Driving Lessons
by RedCatCatalano
Summary: 15 Years after they parted ways, a set of unforseen circumstances lead Jordan and Angela back into one another lives in New York city.
1. Jordan's New Year's Eve

There were only two great things Jordan Catalano had learned in his thirty years on Earth. One of which was that often those who were meant to love you the most sometimes didn't, he'd learned that hard lesson from his parents at a very young age. Secondly was that when it came to matters of the heart, age meant nothing. He'd realized that any wisdom gleaned through age and maturity was never applicable to romantic relationships. He sighed bitterly at his current predicament, here he was in a Manhattan hotel suite on New Year's Eve totally alone, and once again single. Jordan's latest ex-girlfriend, a television actress Amy Flynn, had ended their relationship two days previous after meeting someone else. Jordan rose his glass of bourbon up into the air 'To Amy and Mr Hollywood actor, I hope you're goddamn well so happy together' Jordan sneered at his reflection in the mirror over the mini bar. He stared angrily at himself as he finished his drink. In truth Jordan wasn't surprised when their relationship had ended; it had been nothing but a turbulent disaster. Amy always wanted something from that he couldn't give, to play the fame game and be a media whore. Jordan was a lot of things, but a sell out was not one of them. That was a part of the reason he had not gone out in Manhattan to celebrate the festivities with his band mates, it would be a paparazzi storm, and frankly he was uncomfortable with that much attention. Only his childhood friend Shane, and fellow band mate, could understand how Jordan could sing in front of thousands of people with so much charisma and energy and yet be so reclusive when it came to his private life. He avoided being seen in public outside performing on stage, as much as possible.

As Jordan took another bottle of Bourbon from the mini bar, he began to smile to himself. He thought out loud 'At least I didn't marry Amy like I did with Eleanor' he laughed sardonically. He often wondered how exactly his marriage to Eleanor Mitchell had actually gone ahead. Jordan sat down in one of the suites overstuffed armchairs and took a healthy gulp of his drink. Jordan tried to think how exactly it had all happened. Eleanor had been insanely hot, but unfortunately had the emotional depth of a shot glass, she also happened to be as dumb as a brick. Their marriage had lasted barely a month, which then of course was then splashed all across the gossip magazines for months longer than their actual relationship. "Rock star Catalano dumps Supermodel Mitchell" Jordan bellowed out in mock seriousness "Mitchell says Catalano cheated with best friend Joyce", "Mitchell says Catalano into Alien fantasies".

He'd almost died when he'd read the magazine headlines, that was why he hated fame, it was propagated by such bullshit. It seemed to Jordan though in the face of his latest failed romance, that all of his relationships ended for always the same reasons. He'd hated being totally alone since his childhood, he had this insatiable need not to be alone, so this often lead to meaningless relationships. It was always was sex and no conversation, and he'd found as he grew older that the conversation part had become more important to him. The only girl he'd close to achieving anything close to that, had been a very long time ago. He smacked himself in the head, cursing himself for thinking about her. That red haired temptress who'd left him with his heart shattered upon the floor, it was almost a revenge for him doing the exact same thing to her, breaking each other's hearts until they were irreparably broken. Jordan always thought about her on night like this, when his heart should have ached for the current girlfriend who'd dumped him, but instead longed to see her big wide smile again. This misery was magnified by his increasing intoxication 'Hell that was a lifetime ago, get over it Catalano' he growled. Yet he couldn't help it, Miss Chase eternally inked upon a part of his heart like a small tattoo

Jordan swallowed the last of his drink, he was supposed to working on some new lyrics for a song his band were writing for some romance teen movie ' Driving lessons'. It hadn't been going well, how he could write a love song in his current state of mind. Jordan decided he might as well just watch some TV and numb his racing thoughts with alcohol; the silence in the penthouse was driving him nuts. So nuts he'd almost given into his craving to smoke, he'd quit the year before after the death of his friend Tino from an early onset of Lung Cancer. That had really shaken his sense of mortality and made him reassess a lot of things in his life. His current state was a momentary lapse in is now clean living policy. He wished the band had never agreed to meet the movie people the next day, 'who organises a business meeting for New Years Day' he mumbled. He barely registered the images on the screen as the countdown began outside the bubble he had placed himself in. His eyes began to droop as all coherent thought left him "I fucking hate New Years" he slurred as fell into a dreamless sleep.

"...Now ladies and gentleman we have the moment you've all been waiting for". Jordan snapped awake as the audience on the television cheered loudly. He jerked his head up from its resting place on his chest, the clock on the bedside table read 2.30 am. Jordan rubbed his eyes and sat up looking at the television. It was a rerun of a chat show from two months before; he thought it might be 'Oprah' or something. Jordan stood up to turn it off when something caught his attention. 'For many years people have wondered who the mysterious Patricia Pullman was, author of the phenomena,the 'Driving Red' series. She has never been seen in public before, but with the first of her books 'Driving Lessons 'gone into film production, Ms Pullman has decided to come forward." Jordan paused by the television, he'd heard of the books and a couple of his ex-girlfriends had been obsessed by them. He continued to watch simply out of curiosity. "Now before she comes out, we have one more twist in this exclusive interview. Patricia Pullman has decided to reveal her real name also for the first time. Now please will everyone please give a show of your love to the brilliant Angela Chase". Jordan's knees went to jelly as he fell down into a crouching position in front of the television. He felt all of the bourbon he'd drank rising up his throat as a familiar wide, shy smile filled the screen. "Fuck" he whispered softly as he was rooted to the spot.


	2. A revelation

**I realized I made a mistake in the 1st chapter. Jordan is 33, not 30. Just thought I'd correct that just to avoid confusion. This chapter is again more from Jordan's POV, but will end in Angela's POV. In the next chapter maybe our beloved favourites will meet!**

She was different, yet exactly the same. Her eyes still held that wide eyed innocence which had always captivated him, but her expression was guarded and reserved. Her once crimson hair was now dark blonde and much longer and she was a little taller, but it was still the Angela same that Jordan knew. He smiled as he watched her walk self consciously towards her interviewer and sit down in the midst of the loud applause and cheering from the audience. She continued to smile shyly as Oprah turned towards her and welcomed her to the show. "How are you doing Angela? It's very nice to have you here finally." Angela's smile grew brighter as she answered "It's nice to be here. Though I'm a little surprised by the audiences enthusiasm. "She laughed as the audience cheered loudly again. Jordan found himself beaming at the television; he reached towards the armchair and pulled it closer to the appliance before sitting down. "Now ,first of all I must ask you. After hiding behind a pen name for almost seven years, what made you want to go public?" Angela began to look thoughtfully at the host "It was just time I guess, people had been coming forward claiming to be the author for a while now and I felt it was now needed for the fans to see me. With the film coming out next Summer, I just thought maybe I should stop hiding behind the name". Oprah nodded "Did your decision have anything to do with the increased interest in the series because of the film?" "I mean it did kind of, because it like, has gone from being a popular series to just a phenomena. It's insane". The audience once again cheered, Jordan felt ecstatic for her success. He could feel long dormant sensations in his heart beginning to stir as he watched Angela, he was entranced. In fact he was so focused on watching her, he realised he hadn't been paying attention to what was going on in the interview.

"... 'Driving Lessons' is a very unique name for a book, isn't it?" Angela nodded "Yeah it is but the title is like a metaphor for your first love. When you are young and a teenager, relationships can be scary, like learning to drive a car. It's dangerous, but equally exhilarating. It's like ,you have to learn not to take your turns too wide or it can end up in disaster." Jordan leaned in closer to the screen in shock, she'd used almost that exact speech when they broke up for the first time. He was floored by the realisation, she'd just quoted him! "Now the books are about first love etc and are based in a suburb of Pittsburgh,Three Rivers, where you spend most of your childhood. How much of it is autobiographical?" Jordan watched as Angela's face grew a little flushed as she began to answer "Well I'd say that it's autobiographical in a way, that it is the experience for any young girl during her teenage years". Oprah did not seem to be satisfied with answer and changed tact. "Now you lived in Three Rivers till you were sixteen" Angela visibly relaxed "Yes. I left there to move to New York with my mother after my parents divorced". "And did you keep in contact with anyone, like school friends from Three Rivers" Oprah said nonchalantly. Angela sighed "I try to, but some of them I've lost contact with". "Now there is one thing that has always intrigued me about Three Rivers. It seems that there must be something in the water with regards to talent. Especially when we look at those in your Sophomore Year" Angela smiled at Oprah but was visibly confused. Oprah smirked "We got a hold of your sophomore yearbook". Angela's face went snow white as a picture flashed up on the monitor, Jordan couldn't help but laugh. Angela hid her face in her hands for a moment, before smiling in embarrassment at her photo. "Now a further look through this and we found some other familiar faces. Rickie Vasquez the noted choreographer was in your class, and Rayanne Graff the Broadway star also was in your class." Both of their photos were flashed alongside Angela's. She smiled at them, rolling her eyes at Rayanne's quirky attire. "I'm actually still quite good friends with them,and I saw Rickie only two days ago". Oprah's knowing expression returned as she took an audible breath. "But these aren't the only ones from Three Rivers to make it big, were they?" Angela's smile disappeared as her face grew scarlet, Jordan knew what was coming. "No" Angela whispered nodding her head. "Two lines up from your picture, who did we find?"

The entire audience screamed as his yearbook picture came onto the monitor, Jordan winced in embarrassment. Angela looked visibly uncomfortable as she gave a slight smile. "Did you Jordan Catalano?" Oprah asked almost innocently. "Yes. I did for a while. But I haven't seen him in years". Jordan's heart sank as he saw her almost angry expression. "See a little birdie told us, you dated him" Oprah pushed. "Was this birdie, called Rayanne Graff by any chance" Angela was trying to play it off as a joke; Jordan couldn't help but thank Rayanne for her big mouth.

"Why I ask, is that returning to my earlier question about how much of 'Driving Lessons' is based on your life. People have suggested the character of Jared, the brooding musician who steals Claire's heart, is based upon Mr Catalano" Jordan felt his heart stop as he waited for Angela to answer. She began babble "Well you see, maybe people can see it that way but, I don't know if...well. Every girl has that Jared, that first love you don't forget. The character is whoever you want it to be". Angela sighed, Jordan let go of the breath he was holding feeling the tightness in his chest increasing. He couldn't believe she'd written a book about them, he had to find a copy and read it. Oprah stayed silent for a moment before asking another probing question "Was Jordan your Jared? You got admit the description in the book is awfully similar to this picture." Angela did not answer, but just smiled ''No comment". Oprah grinned knowing this was the only answer that mattered "Fans have even suggested Jordan Catalano could play the older version of Jared if the later books are adapted to the screen", Angela smiled "Now wouldn't that be something". The segment then finished up as Angela waved goodbye.

As the show then went on a break to prepare for the next guess, Jordan physically felt drained. He hadn't seen Angela in over 15 years and now he finds out she'd written a book about him. He leapt up suddenly, a thought occurring to him. He grabbed his laptop and went onto Wikipedia and searched the book. Jordan groaned loudly as he read the synopsis, Jared it seemed was an unmitigated asshole to say the least. Oprah had been right; the description fitted his yearbook picture exactly, down to his still persistent habit of leaning against everything. The plot included most of the biggest hurdles that had happened in their relationship, from the betrayal, to the letter, to what happened after Brian had fully confessed his feelings towards Angela and all the problems that occurred over that summer. Jordan noticed that the most painful memory, what had happened the night before Angela left, was not included. For this alone he was thankful, he did not want to relive that. The other books seemed to have continue on further into these characters relationship, but Jordan couldn't read it. He found it hurt too much to think of what might have been.

It may have been the effects of the alcohol starting to finally subside, but a rational thought gradually penetrated his skull. In fact he was angry he hadn't joined the dots before. 'God how can I still be so goddamn stupid' he cried out. Jordan thought he'd left his idiocy behind after managing to graduate High school with Krakow's help. The film he was supposed to be writing a song for was the same one as Angela's book. He bolted off the chair, now giddy with new found excitement. He ran to Shane's room, shaking him awake. 'Shane wake up!' Jordan shook him again. 'Fuck off Catalano, you smell like the ass of a sick dog' Shane tried to pull the covers over his head, but Jordan held on tight. 'Shane. That film we're writing the song for, she wrote it. She wrote it! Can you believe it?' What Shane couldn't believe was how happy Jordan was, a couple of hours ago he'd been a miserable bastard. Sometimes he didn't understand what went on in the mind of his friend. 'Who wrote what Jordan?' He sighed knowing the quicker he got this over with, the quicker he could go back to sleep. "Angela. Angela Chase wrote 'Driving Lessons'. And I'm going to write a new version of 'Red' for the film". Shane's eyes went wide and he sat up fully as Jordan bounded back out of the room laughing. 'Oh shit' Shane hissed, this was not good.

As the opening chords to 'Red' sounded through the suite, Jordan grinned. Everything made sense once more as he thought back on the prospect of seeing her again. He took deep breath and began to sing the song he had avoided for years, stopping only to write down the new verses as they came. He hoped she liked the new additions.

Just a few blocks away Angela Chase sat in the kitchen of her penthouse apartment drinking a small cappuccino. She'd got back from Rayanne's party nearly an hour before, but she had to wait for him. She couldn't go to bed without making sure he got in safe and sound. Honestly she was furious he'd stayed out this late, it was nearly 3am. As she heard the front door open and close she breathed a sigh of relief. She stood up and walked into the hall where she saw him removing his shoes and trying to sneak up the stairs silently. "Jason, what time do you call this?" she said sternly. Jason Chase nearly jumped out of his skin in fright "Mom, you scared the shit out of me!" his thick New York accent accentuated by the surprise. "Jason answer me, why are you home so late? Joey's mom told me you'd be home by 1am at the latest". Angela was not happy with her fourteen year old son. Jason stared at his feet before looking back at his young mother sheepishly "You see there was this girl..." Angela sighed 'of course there was' she thought 'he's so like his father'. She couldn't help but smile at his blushing cheeks, she rolled her eyes and Jason knew he was off the hook. "Don't let me catch you home late again or I'll set Grandma Patty on you. Now go to bed." Jason laughed and went up the stairs yawning, Angela sighed once more. Jason was not going to be happy when he heard. Brian Krakow had asked her out, and she'd said yes.


	3. A Forgotten Melody

**Thanks for the positive reviews. This chapters a little more angsty then I'd originally intended, but I think it's leading somewhere good! The next chapter will probably be much longer, because I planned a lot things to happen in it. Which will of course will include some Jordan/Angela time.**

It was a cold March morning when Angela heard it. She'd been sleeping deeply when it awoke her, the melody so achingly familiar. At first she'd thought she was still dreaming but as she recognised her son's sweet tenor voice joining in with the chorus, Angela knew it was real. She rose fully out of her bed and walked towards Jason's room as the song grew in intensity. Angela stood by the door frame listening to the poignant melding of voices; she'd never forgotten 'Red'. Even when Rickie had told her Jordan had written it about his car, she'd never really believed it. No boy would play a song to his girlfriend so much, and be singing about his car.

She smiled at the memory of Jordan in the loft, awkwardly playing to her the night after he'd given her the letter. At the time she should have been furious about him lying about writing it, but when he'd immediately come clean about it when they'd driven off that night, she knew she was hopelessly gone already. That night he'd played for her with such honesty she'd realised he was just as lost as she was. They'd been inseparable, spending every moment they could together. She would go see him play with his new band 'Sedation'every weekend in Vertigo. And he would play 'Red' in every set while looking straight at her. For a short time it was bliss. Though, unfortunately all good things have to come to an end, for them it came in the form of Rayanne's pregnancy in May. While Graff had an abortion, something changed between them again which couldn't be mended. Their second break up was much more final then the first, particularly as Angela decided to give Krakow a chance. He'd been so sweet to her about the situation with Rayanne, that she'd seen a new side to him. As soon as Angela had broken up with Jordan, Brian had finally confessed his true feelings to her. Sadly Angela and Brian lasted barely two months, partly because Brian knew deep down Angela was still in love with Jordan.

She and Jordan after the break up would see one another every so often. They'd chat politely and laugh together at parties of mutual friends, but couldn't be friends like they'd used to. Too much had been shared and lost between them for either Jordan or Angela to stand being close again. Rayanne and Rickie would just say they loved each other too much to hurt each other again. Jordan had tried dating another girl but the affair ended up being even shorter than Angela's relationship with Brian, another demonstration of his hurt over Angela. He'd still play 'Red' in his sets every so often and she would sometimes still come to listen, but the last time Angela had heard it though had been the night before she left. The night fate seemed to bring them together again cruelly for only a short heartbreaking moment.

Angela was shaken out of her reverie when 'Red' shifted into a verse she'd never heard before. Jordan's voice alone filled the air for a brief second as the music then swelled behind it.

'I was chasing monsters,

Chasing them away,

Fighting off her demons,

Hoping she would stay,

Crimson angel where have you gone,

You're all I need and that's what I say

I miss you Red"

Angela couldn't help but feel emotion rise up in her throat, it had been 15 years, yet she still felt like a love sick child in the face of this reminder of her past. As the song reached a final verse, Angela was trying to hold back tears. Why was he singing it again so publically after so many years?

'Now I'm running forward,

Trying to run to her,

I tried to be without you,

I need Red, that's for sure,

Everything's still black now you're not here.

She's all I want and that's what I say,

I miss you Red."

Angela almost felt angry with him. Goddamn Jordan Catalano for making her feel so hopelessly smitten after so much had happened, she wanted to kill him. As the song ended, Jason opened the door to his room humming 'Red' softly. He jumped in surprise when he came face to face with his mother's stormy expression 'Mom. What are you doing?' .Angela's face relaxed as she tried to smile "Nothing, just listening. Where'd you get that song?" Jason eyed her suspiciously but ignored his niggling feeling that she looked almost upset. "Eh, the studio sent over a copy of the soundtrack for 'Driving Lessons' in the mail this morning. I think that one, 'Red', is the track they've picked for Jared to sing to Claire at the end". Angela's mouth fell open in shock; Jason just shrugged and walked off downstairs to get some breakfast. 'This is just fucking perfect' Angela thought. Jordan Goddamn Catalano was actually trying to ruin her life. Perhaps it was just karma, considering she'd written a book about him, so maybe it was fair his song about her was in the film. Angela would have protested to the producers had she known they'd approached his band 'Echelon' to be on the soundtrack. After the embarrassment of that Oprah interview months before, where she'd basically told the nation she'd been in love with Jordan Catalano, Angela just couldn't contemplate facing the publicity that would certainly accompany the inclusion of his song in the most important moment in the film.

How was she going to explain this unhappy coincidence to Rickie and Rayanne or dear God, Brian! ?She'd been secretly going on dates with him for the last two months, a fact which she still hadn't told her son. They'd met again nearly a year ago, having never seen each other in well over ten years. Brian was now a highly successful lawyer in Boston, having completed his graduate education at Harvard. Ironically he worked for the same law firm that Angela's publishers were clients of, he had helped negotiate the film deal for Angela with the film studio. After that they'd met for coffee a few times, then progressing to the occasional long phone call. On New Year's Eve he'd kissed her, and asked with much trepidation would she go out with him again. Angela had said yes, glad to dating someone for the first time in 3 years. Their relationship was still fairly tame, but it was nice. It was going to be rather uncomfortable once Brian found out about the song.

Angela walked down into her bright open kitchen; her mother Patty was drinking a cup of coffee as she stared out into Central Park below. Angela always loved that about her kitchen, it was like a window on the roof of the world. You could admire the entire city in all its glory, without having to worry about the weather. Patty had come to live with Angela and Jason a couple of years before, she'd always wanted to live in a grand place like this and loved being with her eldest daughter and grandson. Jason had a bagel in his mouth as he reached into the large fridge for the cream cheese; he was still humming 'Red' loudly. 'Goddamn it Jason stop humming that song' Angela burst out suddenly. Both Jason and Patty looked at her strangely "Sure thing Mom. Someone's touchy this morning, PMSing much?" Jason wandered off towards the living room with his bagel as Patty tried not to smile. She looked back up at Angela's dark expression 'What was that about Angela?' Her daughter sighed "That song my son was singing happens to be on the soundtrack for my film. The one sang in the big finale apparently". Angela pinched the bridge of her nose in visible annoyance, Patty looked at her in confusion "And?" Angela lowered her voice as she walked towards Patty "And that song was written by Jordan Catalano. Not only that, but that song was written when we were together. That song is about me. And all of my friends and former peers know that". Patty's eyes grew wide; she understood immediately Angela's distress. "Oh... that's awkward. Sucks to be you ."Angela couldn't help but laugh a little at her mother's reaction. Patty leaned in closer and whispered "And now you're wondering what Brian is going to think?" Angela nodded. "That's only a minor concern really. I mean Jordan's probably going to be, like, at the premiere. And there 's certain people I don't want meeting". Patty and Angela shared a knowing look as she glanced back towards her son. "You're going to have to tell him eventually, before he figures it out. He starting to look like Jordan more and more everyday". Angela stared out into the city knowing Patty was right, yet she wasn't quite prepared to tell him today or anytime soon. As long as Jason and Jordan were kept separate everything would be fine for the moment.

A week later Angela flew to L.A to have a look at the rough cut of the film. During the negotiations with the studio Brian had managed to secure special rights for Angela to have an editorial say over the finished film. Jason had talked Angela into letting him come along with his friend Joey on the trip; they were going to a concert in the city with Rickie. Angela grudgingly had agreed, but she was so distracted by work she hadn't asked which concert they were going to. Rickie almost had a heart attack when he'd seen the tickets; they were going to see Echelon. Stuck between a rock and a hard place Rickie decide not to say anything to Angela and just prayed excessively that Jordan and Jason did not meet.

As Angela walked through the studio reception she called Brian, she'd promised him she'd call once her and Jason were settled in. Things were a little strained between since the song debacle, but they were trying to get on with their lives. Angela was so wrapped in their conversation that she didn't realise she'd gone the wrong direction until it was too late. "Damn it! Brian, I'll have to call you back. I'm after getting lost" Angela looked around frantically trying to retrace her steps. As far as she could deduce she was in the music department as gold and platinum records adorned the walls. She looked into one of the offices to see if there was anyone there to help her. Time seemed to slow as she looked into the room and saw Jordan with his band. Angela gasped as she watched him. She'd of course seen photos of him in magazines in recent times, but she was struck by how beautiful he still was in reality. No picture could ever do his face justice. The years had been very kind to him; he didn't look like he'd aged much. His face had lost its boyish roundness and his hair was shorter, but even with a slight beard he still looked barely older than 25. Out of the blue, Jordan looked over his shoulder to the door nonchalantly, probably in boredom. Angela felt her heart stop as his piercing blue eyes met her own green ones. His mouth fell open and his eyes narrowed as he quickly recognised her, Angela's brain screamed for her to run, but she was frozen to the spot, staring at Jordan in awe.


	4. Another hurdle

**Ok this chapter didn't turn out quite how I intended and has some major drama! Don't worry Angela and Jordan fans they're not finished by a long shot. The next chapter will include a flashback as suggested by one reader. It will be about what happened the night that keeps being mentioned, and maybe something about Jordan's reaction to it. Thanks for the support, I'll update ASAP.**

** love and appreciation**

**RedCatCatalano **

Jordan's face broke into a lazy smile as they continued to stare at one another. Angela couldn't help but reciprocate with a wide smile of her own. She saw him turn towards a guy, who she guessed was the bands manager and whisper something in his ear. The manager nodded, Jordan then rose out of his seat and walked towards the door. Shane turned around to watch Jordan leave; he nearly choked on his coffee when he saw Angela standing by the window. 'Oh crap' Shane thought, this situation was just getting more and more complicated and he didn't like it one bit.

As Jordan opened the door, Angela began to back away from it. Her momentary confidence shaken by the sudden realisation that Jordan was really standing right in front of her. He continued to smile as he approached her, he found it endearing that she was looking at him like a deer caught in headlights. It almost comforted him to see he still had an effect on her. "Hey" was all he said as he stopped only inches from her face, his hands either side of her head on the wall. Angela looked up at him in adoration, as she blinked her brain seemed to finally kick in "I'm lost. I was trying to find the editors office or...something. And I was on the phone and I got lost. I usually have, like, a good sense of direction, I must have been a pigeon in, like, a former life" she blurted out all at once. Jordan tried not to laugh. Angela always had the ability to say the most ridiculous things when she was nervous, especially when it came to him. He smirked at her cockily "A pigeon, really?" Angela bit her lip as her face grew red in embarrassment, how did she always manage to say the most stupid things at the most inopportune moments. She then just grinned up at him, enjoying his close proximity. It was as if no time had passed at all between their last encounter and this, their current stance was familiar and intoxicatingly wonderful. They were standing so close Angela was almost sure he'd kiss her, mostly judging by the hunger in his eyes. Truthfully he was thinking about it, his hormones racing, but he couldn't just jump her like a horny teenager. Jordan had waited too long to scare her off with aggressive advances, all good things took time and he was more than willing to wait a while. Angela was almost disappointed as he pushed back off the wall and stepped back an inch or two. "C'mon I'll help you find your way" he motioned with his head down the corridor. "Thanks" Angela said quietly as she tried to calm her raging emotions, now was not the time for a relapse into the arms of Mr Jordan Catalano.

They both began to walk down the corridor side by side in companionable silence, their initial elation at seeing one another had now worn off and was now replaced with a distinct sense of awkwardness. Jordan couldn't believe it, over the years since leaving high school he'd managed to actually become quite articulate, yet now he was once more struck monosyllabic and dumb in her presence. 'Come on Jordan, you have wanted to see her for years. Speak for Christ sake!' he begged himself to talk. "So how've you been? Literary success treating you well?" he said casually, Angela was thankful one of them had broken the silence. She sighed "Yeah I'm good, I'm living in New York near Central and yes literary success is treating me quite well, though since I went public it has been a little crazy." She paused to look at him "I'm sure you know all about insane fans" she added quietly. Jordan gave her a small smile "Yes, I do unfortunately. They're always giving me odd little gifts, like once I got a lasagne with 'I LUV U CATALANO' written in three different kinds of cheese. It was a good lasagne" He chuckled to himself at the memory. Angela watched his face light up as he was lost in thought for a second, she savoured this, imprinting the image into her memory. As he turned back towards her, he noticed her staring at him with an unreadable expression "What? Do I have something on my face" he rubbed at his mouth self consciously. Angela shook her head "No, it's just strange to see you after so long. You're so different, but exactly the same all at once". Jordan looked at her for a moment with such intensity; she felt her very soul rise out her body for a second. "I know exactly what you mean. I've missed you" he said huskily. She found herself leaning in towards him as he went to reach for her face.

The beeping of her phone interrupted the intimate moment, she laughed nervously taking it out of her purse. It was Brian texting her.

_Chase, you ok? Did you find your way back? By the way, I hate to tell you but...'Red' just debuted on the Top 100 at number 3! Anyway love you Lots-Brian XXX_

Angela suddenly remembered that she was meant to be furious with Jordan, and that she was supposed to be infatuated with Brian. Definitely not allowing herself to be sucked into the vortex that was still Jordan Catalano. She put the phone back into her purse as an angry expression now set across her face, Jordan instantly saw this. "Are you ok Angela?" he winced as she looked at him with contempt. "No I'm not Catalano. All thanks to you" she hissed. Jordan had no clue what was going through this girls head, he looked back at her in utter confusion "Eh what?" Angela continued to scowl as he wracked his brain for how exactly she'd done a complete 180 in her actions towards him. "Seriously, what the hell is wrong? What exactly did I do?" he spoke softly. She clenched her jaw "Forget it, good old Jordan playing the helpless fool so he doesn't have take responsibility for anything". She stalked off in anger down the corridor, leaving Jordan dumbfounded and hurt in her wake. He was stunned for a split second before he thundered after her. He grabbed her by the hand, stopping Angela in her tracks "Stop right now, and tell me exactly what I'm supposed to have done. Because up until a second ago everything was great". The anger in her face was subsiding, as it was replaced by a pained expression "How could you think it was ok to submit a song about me, to a film that is so personal?" Jordan let go of her instantly, this was about 'Red', obviously his intention had not been well received. Angela took a deep breath "Why did you agree to do the soundtrack to 'Driving Lessons' anyway?". Jordan sighed "I didn't know it had anything to do with you until we'd finalised the deal". Angela's eyes began to fill with tears "But why that song! After the whole Oprah embarrassment, how could you think that it was ok? Do you know how awkward it is to have your past so publically displayed?" Jordan looked at her with exasperation as he threw his hands up in the air "Sometimes you're such a Goddamn hypocrite. You wrote a book about our entire relationship, in which YOU made me out to be a humongous asshole. Yet because I publish a song saying I miss you, I'm a terrible guy". Angela was taken aback for a moment by his openness, but her fury returned. "You were a humongous asshole in high school. All of what I wrote happened. You did dump me because I wouldn't sleep with you, you did have sex with Rayanne, my best friend! And you did get her pregnant". Jordan could feel his blood pressure rising as he tried to stop himself from shouting "Why have you never been able to get passed that? It's not as if you were a saint either. You used Corey to make me jealous; you hooked up with Brian the minute we broke up. You didn't even have the decency to tell me yourself. I found out from Rayanne Graff, Rayanne of all people! Oh yeah! While we're at it, let's not forget the night before you disappeared. I told you that I loved you and YOU told me you'd never leave me." Angela glanced down at the floor, guilt starting to eat away at some of the anger she felt, Angela knew this would come up eventually. It was just a lot sooner then she'd expected. Angela had considered that this would have been discussed after a few weeks of them getting to know one another again. She had envisioned them talking about it calmly and rationally as adults, not like the children they were acting like now. She'd hoped that in this imaginary conversation she could finally tell him about Jason. Yet rationality had never been the nature of their relationship. It was either love or war with them, nothing in between. She supposed she had started this mess they were in right now. Admittedly she'd overreacted.

Jordan's eyes were beginning to mist up. 'Shit I can't cry in front of her' he cursed to himself as he tried to sweep the nearly formed tears away. His voice began to crack as he said the next words "You of all people knew that everyone I'd ever loved had left me, my mother, my brothers. Everyone! Yet you still made me a promise you had no intention of ever keeping. I've never felt as worthless as that morning, when I woke up and you were gone without a trace." Jordan's broken face made her heart ache in a way that she'd never experienced and for once she saw what she'd done to him. Jordan turned away from her "You know what. Find you own way back to the reception. I'm done reminiscing for today" he spat out bitterly .He felt ashamed for being so fucking emotional, why had he said so much? Why had he allowed her to get to him? Angela knew her brief window into the soul of Jordan Catalano was swiftly closing as he started to walk back down the corridor without a second glance. Angela was still furious, only now most of her anger was directed at herself. She walked briskly down another corridor to her right, not caring that her vision was being seriously impeded as she sobbed. She'd dreamed about seeing him again for so long, this was not how she expected their joyful reunion to go. "Angela!" Jordan's voice called to her from the bottom of the corridor, she looked back at him expectantly, hoping he was giving her a chance . "You're going the wrong way, the receptions that way" he said in a monotone, pointing back over his shoulder. Angela couldn't believe she had to walk passed him again, especially in her present state, it seemed he was getting a kick out of her discomfort. Jordan made absolutely no attempt to move as she walked back towards him staring at the floor. When she reached him, Angela glared right into his eyes "I hate you right now". Jordan gave her a scornful smirk "I don't particularly like you right now either" he said flippantly. Once she passed him fully, his face grew dark as he trudged back to the office. When Jordan had returned, Shane knew instantly all was not well. Jordan pulled his hood over his head scowling and crossed his arms across his chest "Stop staring at me Shane "he growled. "Sorry, didn't realise I was staring man" Shane sighed defensively; he turned back towards the meeting and pretended to care for what was going on. Angela Chase, my how that girl was trouble. And Shane knew deep down the trouble was only beginning.

Angela had run straight towards the bathrooms when she'd reached the reception area, she was already hopelessly late for her appointment, so she figured a couple more minutes wouldn't hurt. She stood staring in the mirror, wondering how she'd managed to fuck up her life so royally; she was still shaking from the heated exchange with Jordan. Why had she said she hated him? She hated herself really. The only reason she could think of now for getting so mad over the song, was 'Red' had reminded her of what she'd given up and how heartless she'd been towards Jordan. Yet he'd still missed her and cared about her, that was obvious. Angela heard the stall door to one of the toilets behind her unlock, she dabbed her eyes and was about to leave swiftly before she was stopped by a familiar voice. "Angelika, what are you doing here?" .Rayanne Graff rushed towards her enveloping her in a massive hug. Never in her life had Angela been so glad to see her friend.

It was hard to think of a time now, when they weren't good friends. After Angela had stood by Rayanne during her pregnancy, including going to the clinic to hold her hand when it came time for the abortion, they both knew their friendship would never be severed again. It was because ,this time Angela had chosen Rayanne over Jordan, and forgiveness was given freely.

Angela slowly let go of Rayanne "I'm here to have a look at 'Driving Lessons'. They've just finished a rough cut of it, though I'm ridiculously late for my appointment" Angela chuckled. "What are you doing here Rayanne?" she said jovially trying to mask her upset. Rayanne smiled giddily "Well, I'm in talks to get my first starring role. It's going to lights, camera, action and myself centre stage broadcast throughout the World" Rayanne threw her arms out and did a dramatic twirl. Angela smiled broadly at her friends antics, Rayanne continued to talk excitedly "They're remaking 'Sweet Charity' as a movie, and they want me to play Charity. Can you believe it? I was born to play that part. Hey big spender!" Rayanne sang loudly. Angela laughed heartily as her friend skipped around the bathroom singing loudly, suddenly she stopped. "Why are you late?" the thought now occurring to Rayanne "You're never late for anything." Angela sighed she looked absentmindedly at a sign over the sink "I happened to bump into Jordan Catalano". Rayanne grinned wickedly at Angela "So, you and lover boy finally saw one another again. How is Catalano? ". Angela shrugged her shoulders "He seemed fine, success suits him I think." She moved to wash her hands in the sink, Rayanne studied her questioningly. "Ok Angela, what happened?" Angela exhaled noisily "Nothing". Rayanne cocked her left eyebrow up "Angelika I know you long enough to know when you're lying. You expect me to believe that the first time you see Catalano in years, a guy you've been obsessed with since you were 15, and nothing happened". Angela tried to swallow the lump that was rising up in her throat "Fine. At first everything was great, then Brian text me, and it reminded me that I was angry at Jordan for the whole song fiasco. And then I flipped out at him, and we had a massive fight about...anyway I pretty much think he hates me right now". Angela hung her head as tears began to flow down her cheeks; Rayanne embraced her trying to sooth her. "Screw for being an asshole about Jason, he'll come around" Rayanne whispered. Angela pulled away "I didn't tell him Rayanne" she murmured. "Then why would he hate you?" Rayanne asked. "Rayanne I've fucked up totally" Angela cried. "Tell me Chase" Rayanne said gently. Angela shook her head and wiped her eyes, drying the last of the tears away "Look. I really need to get to this meeting, but how about I call you and we go for coffee later. I'll tell you everything then". Rayanne groaned "It's that complicated is it?". Angela smiled wryly as she left the bathroom "You've no idea".


	5. The Promise

**Sorry, it took longer than expected to write this chapter. It was the hardest to complete of all of them so far as I was trying to find the right balance of drama and happy moments, it think it's quite bittersweet so I hope you like it. The chapter is much longer than I'd anticipated but deals with everything as completely as possible, anyway I'll update ASAP and resolve the cliffhanger that is looming! Thanks for the continued support**

**RedCatCatalano**

It was late when Angela finally entered the restaurant of the hotel she was staying in and smiled warmly at Rayanne. By the time she'd actually finished with the producers it had been the early evening, so she'd suggested they had dinner instead of a simple coffee. Rayanne had immediately agreed, she loved good food and she was sure the wine they'd probably drink would certainly loosen Angela's tongue. 'Hi, sorry I'm late' Angela said sheepishly. "Don't been, as long as you're here with gossip, me no care Angelika" Rayanne said knowingly. Angela rolled her eyes "So I guess you want me to get right to it, no small talk?". Rayanne just nodded. Angela sighed "Fine, first of all do you remember that I told you that the night I got pregnant with Jason was at Billy Lowenstein's party" Angela leaned in close to Rayanne lowering her voice. "Yeah I saw Jordan kiss you before you both went into one of the bedrooms, you lost your virginity that night. Right?" Rayanne followed Angela's lead, leaning in closer. Angela avoided Raynne's eyes for a moment "Well that wasn't exactly true. Jordan actually passed out drunk the moment we got into the room. I was helping him to the bathroom when he kissed me out of nowhere. I ,like, spent an hour watching him sleep so he wouldn't choke on vomit or something, then Shane took him home." Rayanne looked at her strangely for a moment "Then why'd you tell me it was then? How has this got to do with anything that happened today?". Angela chewed her lip "It does because the night THAT actually happened was the week later, the night before I left." Rayanne still stared at her blankly , Angela sighed "Ok I'll tell you from the beginning".

_Angela was meant to be preparing for going into her junior year next week, but instead of being a normal high school kid, she was dealing with her family being ripped apart. Unlike typical parents, who eased their kids in to the idea of their established families being separated, Angela's parents had taken the much more volatile approach. Within a few days of announcing they were divorcing, due to her fathers infidelity, they'd already sold their house. The decision to separate and sell the house had been taken place weeks before, but Patty and Graham had neglected to tell their kids. Angela was in a total daze, as her childhood and all their precious memories were packed away into boxes, everything equally split and distributed. Time rushed around her at warped speed as she numbly found herself set upon a course that had no point of return, she hadn't even cried. Nothing felt real to her because of the velocity at which all of their lives had been rudely altered. Danielle was going with Graham to Chicago, while Angela refused on principle to even talk to her father, furious he and Hallie had devastated her mother and then had the audacity to want to start afresh in a new state. Patty had decided immediately , if Graham could up and leave Pennsylvania, so could she . So this was where they found themselves, two halves of a family going in two different directions ,Chicago and New York. The printing business had been sold, as had the restaurant, not a trace of the Chases would remain in Three Rivers for them to return to. It had taken Angela until the day before she was due to leave to final wake up to the reality and at last tell Rayanne and Rickie. Brian and Sharon of course had known for a while, but hadn't been able to find the strength yet to say good bye. Angela had gone that morning to say her emotional farewell to Rickie, there had been tears on Rickie's part, but with the exchange of addresses and phone numbers it was definitely not the end for their friendship. Rayanne's reaction had at first been one of intense excitement, she'd made plans for them to see Broadway musicals and hit all the best clubs. Yet after a while the sadness set in, and she'd cried non stop. Lamenting their newly strengthened friendship, Rayanne had sobbed, but Angela had promised her it was not goodbye forever._

_As Angela sat in her now almost bare kitchen something snapped deep within her. She hated her father for loving someone else, she hated her mother for letting her father fall in love with someone else, she hated Danielle for her disloyalty to Patty and she hated herself for not acting on her instincts. Why hadn't she told her mother about her father's late phone call before it was too late. She began to think of how her life this year would have been different, the mistakes of the past a distant memory when it came to Rayanne and Rickie, maybe even with Jordan. Angela's heart started to break as she thought of Jordan. she'd always felt in her gut that they'd eventually get back together, it was destiny. Though now it seemed fate had been fooling her. Bad luck had cut her time short and this hurt her almost as much as the pain she felt about her family. She hadn't been able to tell him, she didn't even know how. She cursed cruel chance for making her love someone so much and then take their prospects for reconciliation away forever. The resentment boiled deep within her and giving into impulse, she did something beyond merely acting out of character. _

_She grabbed one of the bottles of scotch out of one of the boxes while her mother was over in the Krakow's saying her goodbyes, they were leaving at 7am the next day. Angela grabbed a piece of paper and quickly wrote down a note to Patty._

"_Gone out to Rayanne's for the night, don't call. See you in the morning-Love Angela"_

_She actually had no intentions of going anywhere near Rayanne's house. She just wanted to be alone, to numb the overwhelming desolation and pain she couldn't escape. Angela ran as far away from her house as she could before her lungs burned for oxygen. She found herself at the swing set that she and Sharon had come to ever day when they were eight, Angela discovered that she was finally really crying. She sat on one of the swings and just rocked gently, taking healthy gulps from the bottle in her hands. She didn't know how long she'd sat their, just that with ever sip her thoughts became more and more distant, her racing mind gladly fading to a blank._

_Jordan had nearly crashed into a telephone pole when he'd spotted her, alone in the dark swinging aimlessly. He'd been on his way home from work when his attention had been caught by her pale form. " Angela, are you alright?" he called from his car, she turned to him and took a moment to recognise his concerned face. She sighed as she registered the person she least wanted to see. "I'm fine Jordan, go home" She slurred as she waved him off. Jordan smiled slightly "Angela Chase, are you drunk?". Angela narrowed her eyes at him "No! Not that it is any of your business". Jordan couldn't believe it, Angela the most straight edge, innocent person he knew was off her face drunk. He would of laughed at this fact, had he not known immediately that this meant something was seriously wrong. "Come on Angie, get in the car. I'll bring you home before you get yourself arrested." He beckoned for her to get in. Angela scowled "Like hell I will! Go the fuck home Catalano "She shouted, as she unsteadily made her way to her feet and teetered off further into the dark park. Jordan instantly got out of the car and ran after her "Angela, come on. Get in the car" he said more firmly. Angela continued to walk away from him rapidly. "No! I'm not going home. I'm trying to avoid home" she growled. "Fine I won't take you home. But please just get in the car" he said more gently, trying to coax her to comply. Angela whipped around suddenly, almost losing her footing "I'm not going anywhere with you" she roared, my how this girl was difficult. Jordan tried a different approach "Either you come with me now or I call Patty to come get you". This had the immediate effect. Angela threw a nearby pine cone at him and walked back towards him angrily "You're an asshole" she hissed. Jordan took this opportunity to grab her so she wouldn't run off. He held her at the elbow, trying to steady her as they turned around. "At least I'm an asshole who cares" he smirked at her. As they walked slowly back out of the park, an unusual thought crossed Angela's inebriated mind. "You know the way some guys try compensate for areas they're lacking in by, like, having a great car" she made a gesture with her pinkie finger which Jordan snorted at "I don't think it applies to you. I've been told you're hung like a horse" she grinned up at him devilishly, winking suggestively._

Rayanne was crying with laughter "I can't believe you said that to him". Angela's face was beetroot in colour "I know, not my most shining moment. Anyway it's not as if you haven't said anything you regretted when you were drunk". Rayanne continued to laugh "But you forget, I have no shame!" she managed to choke out. Angela gave her a withering look "Oh shut up and let me continue" she huffed.

_Jordan realised in that moment just how drunk Angela was, she'd never be that flirtatious sober. He grinned back at her like a fool, especially when she'd pulled at his jeans so she could have a peek. She wanted to she if her hypothesis was right, Jordan thought it was downright hilarious. "Stop it" he laughed as she finally stopped pulling at the denim, he was going to enjoy reminding her of this at a later stage. He helped her into passenger seat, putting on her safety belt before going to put his own on. He couldn't help noticing her taking another drink as soon a she was securely fastened. Despite the horseplay of a few minutes before, Jordan found himself feeling more and more concerned. With her so adamant about not going home, he brought the to only other place her could, his house. His father was at work till the morning thankfully. Angela barely even noticed where she was, and made no comment at the significance of being in his house for the first time, she was too consumed by her own thoughts._

_As they entered the living room Angela's mood was once more sombre. She couldn't help note how bare and devoid of family photo's his home was, not unlike her own house now. He watched her cautiously as she wandered around his small, untidy house picking up random items. She sat on the beaten up couch for a moment and stared at the ancient television and vcr, her assumption before that he came from a poorer family had been right. Nothing in the building was new or well kept. She rose again and began to examine his dad's bowling trophies, she placed them down and turned towards him. Jordan hadn't said a word since she'd gotten in the car, it unnerved her the way he was looking at her in complete silence. "Stop staring at me. It's weird. Do something constructive other than leering at me" she demanded. Jordan sighed "Fine. As you wish Miss Chase" he walked over to her and seized the scotch bottle from her grasp . "Hey! Give me that back asshole" she tried to swipe it back as she followed him into the kitchen. He blocked her from the sink, as he poured what remained in the bottle down the drain. Angela thumped him hard on the back "Why'd you do that?" she roared. He didn't answer her, just filled a large glass of water and handed it to her. "Time to sober up Angela" he said plainly. She set the glass down and crossed her arms looking up at him in defiance "No!". Jordan arched his eyebrow at her as a battle of wits began, he couldn't believe he was about to stoop so low "Drink it or I'm calling Patty" he said cockily. Angela clenched her fists in rage and grabbed the water, drinking it swiftly. Jordan filled it again without another word, Angela drank it too. "Happy now" she hissed. Angela stamped away from him back into the living room and flopped down against the couch, Jordan slowly followed. Sitting the other end, he observed her curiously. "Why are you being so mean ?" she moaned like a child, though her actions began to be a little clearer, his honest intentions were working. Jordan ignored the question and countered with one of his own "You want to tell me what you were doing getting drunk, by yourself ,in the park at 8pm on a Tuesday night. Because, honestly, that just doesn't sound like you" Jordan asked pointedly. She stared at him blankly for a moment, she bit her lip and decided just to be honest, she'd never been able to lie to him convincingly anyway. "I was trying to forget" she sighed. "Forget what?" he replied simply. Angela was still for a moment "The pain. My parents are divorcing and my family is falling apart" her anger disappeared all at once as she burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. Jordan pulled her into him, she immediately responded clinging to him , closing the space between them as she buried her head on his chest._

_He held her there for hours, stroking her hair until she'd calmed down. They sat there for a long time, not being able to let go of one another long after Angela's tears had stopped. Both had felt the ending of their relationship heavily, and this sudden time of closeness was savoured . Angela breathed in his scent, not wanting to ever move from her current position, listening to the steady beating of his heart. She was home. Yet it was Angela that eventually broke the spell, conscious that this new found intimacy would make the horror of tomorrow even more difficult. As she moved her head away from his now soaked jacket, he cupped her face with right hand and wiped any remaining tears from her eyes gently with his thumb. He was relieved to see that the alcohol was almost gone from her system, as her gaze was steady and focused solely on him. " I know it seems like the end of the world now, but you'll get passed it. I know I had a tough time when my mom left, but you'll survive. I'll help you" Jordan whispered as he smiled warmly at her. He continued to stroke her face with his thumb, she couldn't help but smile back up at him sadly. She closed the space between them, kissing him sweetly for the briefest of seconds before pulling back. When she looked back up into his eyes, he couldn't help noticing with dismay her expression growing even more dejected. "You don't know how much I wish you could, but it's not possible" she mumbled moving even further away from him. Jordan instantly took this to mean she did not want his help, his hand fell from her face. Angela looked hurt by this, but realising how her words would had sounded like to him, she felt the need to clarify . She held his right hand within her own as she locked eyes with him "I'm leaving for New York in the morning. I'm moving away" her voice was empty. Jordan then experienced a sudden loss of control. He found himself growing angry, furious at her for keeping this from him. "Why?" he said through gritted teeth, somehow managing to rein in his rage. Angela sighed "Because the alternative was to go to Chicago with my bastard of a father and his harlot girlfriend." Jordan exhaled sharply, he stared at her heatedly "No! why didn't you tell me?". Angela stared at the floor "I didn't know how?" . _

_Jordan rose to his feet suddenly, struggling to keep the increasing rising of his anger in check, he walked towards the front wall, his hands gripping the back of his head. He struck the wall with his fist as hard as he could, it crackled loudly as he made a hole in the plaster . Angela gasped in fright as she watched him, she'd never seen Jordan like this. Though, when he turned back towards her, his anger was now subsiding "Why is life never goddamn fair? It always seems to take away everyone I have ever cared about" he whimpered. He ran his newly bruised hand through his hair roughly before speaking again "Did you know my mother left me behind when I was seven because there wasn't enough room in the car for me and my younger brother. Even then I was too stupid for anyone to love me. My other brother Pete left me when I was ten to deal with my psycho of a father by myself". Jordan paused for a second taking a deep breath, he looked at Angela pleadingly "Please don't leave, you're all I've got left." Angela felt her heart break in two as she heard this, Jordan actually had told her before about his mother, but he'd never fully explained why he'd gotten left behind. Angela breathed deeply trying to steady her emotions "I have to. I can't leave my Mom to start again by herself." Jordan shuffled back over to the couch with his eyes downcast and kneeled in front of her, he took her hands within his before staring right into her soul with his deep blue eyes. "Angela, I'm nothing without you. I would never be going into my Senior year if it wasn't for you. Who am I when you go?" he begged her to stay with his eyes. "Exactly who you are now. I didn't do anything, you always had it within you. Therefore you can graduate without me" she held his face between her hands smiling adoringly at him. "Your Jordan Catalano for God's sake, you were never stupid. You just got lost because so many people didn't take the time to realise how special you are. You have to prove them wrong Jordan." she said confidently. He stared at her desperately "Don't leave" he said earnestly "I love you Angela". She gasped when she heard this, she'd never believed she'd ever hear Jordan say those words to her face. Angela had no response except to kiss him passionately. Jordan didn't need to be told those words back to him, she'd shown him she loved him so many times before. Jordan responded to her kiss with equal intensity and passion, he gently guided her into a lying position with him on top as their make out session became more forceful and eager. Their pain and heartache disappeared as they melted into one another, they not longer felt but acted, the warmth of their union erasing all the present worries. _

_Jordan didn't know how long they'd been in this intimate position, frankly he didn't care, but alarm bells started to ring in his head as he felt Angela tug at the belt on his jeans. He instantly sat up and moved to the other end of the couch, Angela propped herself up by her elbows and looked down at him confused. "Why'd you stop?" she pouted childishly. "I can't just take advantage of you like this, you're drunk" he said uneasily. Angela rolled her eye's, laughing to herself at Jordan's sudden chivalry. "Jordan I haven't had a drink in, like, 4 hours, I'm almost totally sober" she smiled at him, yet he still looked hesitant. "You'll regret it in the morning" he said softly staring at the carpet on the floor. Angela sighed, she pushed herself up into a seating position, then kneeling on the couch beside him she softly turned his head towards her , forcing him to look at her. "Did you know most people regret more what they haven't done, over what they have. I don't want to wake up in 15 years time and regret not taking what is my probably last chance to be with you. Do you want to have that regret?" He searched her face for any doubt and found none , she was truly ready. "Ok" was all he said, he stood up and took her by the hand smiling shyly. She gave him a dazzling smile as he led her up the stairs to his room._

_They had dispensed of their clothes pretty soon after they'd made it to his room. Angela barely had time to register what was in there before she'd been consumed by her lust and unmistakable love for Jordan. They'd crashed into one another, kissing each other with more fervour then they'd ever done before .He was much more practised in the art of love then her, yet it did not bother her in the least. Angela was just overjoyed to be with him in this moment, he made her feel things she'd never thought possible. Jordan himself had never experienced anything like this either, as he'd finally entered her, he felt as if it was his first time again. Usually it would be a quick and rough affair, but with her, he wanted to savour ever brief moment. It wasn't just he was conscious of hurting her, but he was conscious just how good it felt to be with her. They moved in sync, it was as natural to them as breathing. When they'd both finally come, Jordan realised he'd just tipped the underside of heaven, he'd never been so Goddamn happy in his life. Fortunately the feeling was mutual for Angela too. She grinned at him like a love sick fool after he'd rolled off her reluctantly, she now lay across his chest. "Now why did I resist your charms for so long? I would have given in sooner if I'd known it felt that fucking good". Jordan laughed heartily at her, snaking his arm around her waist he pulled her close, kissing the top of her crimson head. "I also realise my hypothesis from earlier was right. You were NOT compensating with your car" .Jordan nearly cried with laughter, his eyes shining with adoration "I'm glad the experiment was a success Miss Chase" he grinned at her. She gazed at him affectionately before yawning, Jordan sighed contentedly "But enough talking it's time to sleep". Angela nodded in agreement as she snuggled in closer to kissing his neck lightly as she hugged him closer. Both fell asleep instantly wrapped in each others arms._

_Angela snapped awake a few hours later, the clock on Jordan's locker read 3a.m. She was warm and safe within Jordan's strong arms, yet guilt seemed to pull at her conscience. She knew she had to leave with her mother, Patty couldn't start a new life alone and heartbroken. Angela and Patty could be heartbroken together, but at least not alone. Angela gently loosened Jordan's grip on her a little so she could sit up to look at his sleeping face. She had loved watching him sleep at Lowenstein's party the week before, as she did now, he looked so innocent and free of worry. Angela began to trace his face with her fingers, silent memorizing ever millimetre, God she was going to miss him. Jordan began to stir under touch "What are you doing sweetie?" he muttered sleepily as he woke. "Making a touch memory. So I can remember your face when I go" she sighed sadly. Jordan was instantly awake, he looked up at her despondently. He reached up to touch her, brushing her hair away from her face. "Listen, I've been thinking. I may have an alternative to you leaving." he said hopefully. Angela looked down at him pitifully "Jordan. don't". He interrupted her "Just listen Angela. I think if I drop out of school, take a second job, we may be able to afford a place of our own". Angela looked down at him in shock, did Jordan just really offer to live with her? "Jordan you can't just quit school and what about my Mom, you're crazy." Jordan smiled at her "I'm only crazy about you. It can work and we can figure out something about your Mom. Couldn't she stay in Sharon's for a while" Angela shook her head in disbelief, he was serious. "Please, don't leave tomorrow. Stall your mother. Give me a week to figure it out." Angela looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, she could so easily just say yes. "Promise me you won't leave" he whispered. Angela sighed "Jordan" she began. He stroked her cheek with his thumb "Promise me" he whispered more urgently. She looked into his pleading eyes "Ok" she said softly as she lay back against his chest. Jordan held back a tear as he kissed the top of her head holding her tighter, he fell back asleep as soon as she relaxed against him._

_Angela lay there for over an hour trying to decide. She could so easily give into Jordan's idealistic plan, but what about Patty. Ultimately no matter how much she was in love with Jordan, she couldn't abandon her mother when she needed her the most. Angela slowly slid out of Jordan's loving embrace and silently got dressed. She quickly wrote a note._

"_I'm sorry Jordan. I will always love you, but I can't desert my mom at a time like this. You don't need me to be someone, you are already so much more than you know. Don't give up the fight yet, you can be whoever you want to be. I understand if you hate me, because I hate myself too for having to leave. I'm truly sorry I couldn't keep my promise. It would have been heaven to stay with you. I'll think of this night everyday till the day I die. I Love you forever-your Angela_

_Angela kissed Jordan's head as she left his room, tears already falling before she reached the stairs. She didn't look back once all the way home, determined to stay with her decision._

Rayanne tried to hide the fact she was nearly crying. "Wow Angela , that was intense" she said breathlessly. Angela spooned the last of her chocolate ice cream into her mouth, the story had taken them all the way through dinner. Angela smiled sadly "I told you it was complicated. I just wished today Jordan and I could have talked about it more civilly then we did". Rayanne sighed "To be honest it was always going to be a tense conversation, at least the worst of it's over." Angela nodded not really agreeing. "Listen, Catalano doesn't hate you. If he did, would he have written a new version of Red?". Angela gave her a small smile "No." she stared at the table "I just wish I could talk to him. Apologise for everything." Rayanne smirked "Maybe you can. Did I ever tell you,myself and Echelon have the same publicist. I could easily badger her into getting his number for you" . Angela's face broke out in a huge smile "Oh my god I love you Rayanne" she squealed. Rayanne reached into her purse to retrieve her blackberry to call her publicist. "Hold on one sec, I've got a message" she said distractedly. Angela noticed as she read it her face drained of colour. "Shit" Rayanne hissed loudly "I have to read you this Angela, cos you need to ring Catalano more urgently then expected". Angela frowned in confusion as Rayanne began to read. "Dear Miss Graff please pass on the message to your friend Angela. I know about Jason Chase. You have 24 hours to tell Jordan Catalano before I'm forced to take action. I'm not bluffing, yours sincerely Shane Lewis."

Angela felt the Earth beneath her open up as a panic attack over came her senses. She was screwed.


	6. A Fatal Mistake

**_This chapter deals a little about Shane and Jordan's friendship, what happened to Jordan after Angela left and how Shane finds about Jason. Again it's ridiculously :-)! I probably won't be updating for a long while so that's why everything has been compressed into this chapter. I hope you enjoy it! And I'll again update ASAP._**

**_-RedCatCatalano_**

_Shane Lewis had been Jordan Catalano's best friend since Preschool, he'd been by his side through every hardship his friend had faced. The day that had solidified their friendship forever, had been the day that Laura Catalano had abandoned her two older son's because she couldn't take the beatings from Mikey anymore. Eight year old Shane had hugged Jordan as he cried, never making him feel inferior for showing his emotions. Later that night they'd cut their palms, holding them together tightly they'd become blood brothers and Shane had promised to never abandon Jordan, to always have his back.. It was a promise that Shane had kept since that day, he'd given Jordan clothes when Mikey, Jordan's father, spent all their money on booze. Shane never told his mother about Jordan's situation, he'd been sworn to secrecy by Catalano and despite his protests he'd kept his mouth shut. When Pete had left a couple of years later, Shane made sure that Jordan knew he was always welcome in his house whenever he needed to escape Mikey, now he was the sole object of his father drunken violence. As they grew older Shane and Jordan's bond grew stronger, Shane still gave Jordan clothes until his friend had eventually grown taller than him by the age of fifteen. People often mistook them for brothers they were so in sync with each others thoughts and opinions, they shared everything, except for girls. Thankfully their tastes were vastly different, and though Jordan was the better looking of the two, Shane was the natural charmer, so problems of the heart never really arose. Even during the toughest situations Shane always kept his oath to Jordan, once taking a punch for him one night aged fourteen ,when the boys had walked in on one of Mikey's violent rages. It was that night that ended the abuse for Jordan, he'd gotten so mad at his father for hitting Shane he picked up one of the kitchen chairs and flung it full force at him. Jordan had missed Mikey, but the look in his eyes, the one of a caged tiger finally showing its true power, had put the fear of God in the older man. After that Shane didn't have to watch Jordan's back as often, he'd still let Jordan crash when he needed and give him food when Mikey had taken all the money for other things. Soon things became a level playing field between them, with Jordan sometimes watching Shane's back for him when Shane found himself in trouble because of his volcanic temper. For a glorious year, when Jordan had gotten his car and a well paying part-time job, Shane didn't have to worry about his promise. But then Angela Chase had entered Jordan's life and altered it more than any other person before._

_At first he'd seen her as an annoyance to be endured, he was sure once Jordan had gotten his way with her he'd move on. Though slowly Angela began to change Jordan, he began to see himself as something more than his father stupid mistake and Shane had been forced to take notice. He realised grudgingly ,that for once, Jordan had another positive influence in his life. That being said, Shane was glad when their brief relationship had ended. Jordan was very quickly falling for her, something he never did, and to Shane this was not necessarily good. Girls like Angela did not stay with guys like Jordan or Shane very long. Much to his surprise, she stuck around and Angela continued to change Jordan, finally showing him he was not a waste of space in high school. He still didn't know how she'd convinced him to start tutoring. Shane had been so proud of Jordan as his grades began to rise with Krakow's help, he was happy for his friend. But then Jordan had inevitably fucked up this new found tranquillity and Shane had to once more have his back. Though for months Jordan went from utter joy to desolate sadness, during the tempest that was his relationship with Angela, these problems were nothing compared to what he'd faced with Jordan before. That was until she'd truly broken his heart._

_Shane had always remembered that day, because he never seen Jordan so low in his life. Shane had come over to borrow a cd when he'd seen Jordan sitting on his couch, staring blankly at the holes in the plaster he'd made. Shane had taken one look at Jordan's bloody knuckles and instantly knew this was serious, he needed to take care of him immediately. As he sat down beside Jordan, his friend had turned to him "She's gone Shane. She promised me she'd give me time to work it out, but she broke her word. She's gone." Shane saw in his hand a bloodied letter, carefully folded and smoothed. Jordan didn't say another word for days. Shane had stayed with him every day for a week, he was sure that Jordan's numbness would eventually lead him to do something reckless. Shane was terrified he would go home, only to find out Jordan had committed suicide. For a week he kept watch over his younger buddy, they played Nintendo in silence and watched the occasional movie, Shane even got him his food. His selflessness ended at getting Jordan to wash though, there had to be a line and that was it. A week to the day Jordan snapped out of it, at first Shane had been petrified when he'd heard the buzzing of the razor that morning when he'd woken. He ran to the bathroom, expecting to see Jordan lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, instead he found that Jordan had shaved his head. Shane now would call it a moment of catharsis ,because after that act Jordan had gotten got better._

_He started his Senior Year with Shane soon after . Ironically Shane had been held back a year due to bad grades, while Jordan was finally allowed to move up into Senior Year. Jordan threw himself into his schoolwork, never mentioning Angela again. For all the damage Angela had done to Jordan, Shane was thankful for the constructive things she'd started for him. Every morning Jordan was the first one in home room, he always attended class and never forgot to hand in his assignments. Shane could see in his eyes a hunger to do better than what people expected of him, and he was succeeding. He set up a new band 'Echelon' replacing the existing bassist and drummer of Residue with Robbie and Shane, the drastic measure worked as the newly formed 'Echelon' got regular gigs in Vertigo and other local clubs. By graduation, Jordan, with the help of his tutor Eric and continued support of Brian Krakow, had achieved a B average. He could now literally do anything he wanted, especially with the band doing so well. Shane never forgot the proud look in Jordan's eye as he'd received his diploma, even Mikey had sobered up for the day to see his son do what had been thought of as impossible. That day Shane saw Jordan take out the same bloodied letter he seen before, Jordan smiled as he read it again and placed it back in his pocket. He'd noticed, whenever Jordan did something no one thought was probable for him, Jordan would take out the letter and read it, almost as a reminder. Shane had seen him read it the day he learned he'd gotten into community college in L.A ,when he graduated with his associate degree in Music Technology and when his band had been offered a record deal. Shane had seen him read it twice when their album had been completed, and then when their album went platinum, Jordan didn't need to tell him it was from her. Shane already knew. Sometimes he still questioned whether Jordan would have become who he was today without Angela. She'd given him direction, a believe in himself and a thirst to excel._

_When Shane had heard the buzzing of the razor when they'd returned to the hotel after the meeting in the studio offices, he hadn't been surprised. This was just Jordan's way of dealing with the past, only admittedly this time the hairdo was much more drastic. "Holy shit Catalano! What did you do to your hair?" Shane exclaimed when Jordan had come out of the bathroom. Jordan smirked sardonically "It's a Mohawk, Lewis." Robbie, Echelon's bassist shook his head in irritation "You do realise we have a massive gig in two hours". Jordan shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly "Your point being. I think it's much more rock'n'roll like this". Robbie rolled his eyes as Shane threw one of his drum sticks against the wall. Sometimes Shane cursed the name 'Angela Chase', especially when Jordan did idiotic things like this._

_Rickie Vasquez was thankful for small miracles. He had still not told Angela about the boys going to 'Echelon', frankly it seemed to him the less she knew about it the better. Rickie knew if he did tell her, Angela's immediate and probable reaction would have been a seemingly irrational banning on attendance for Jason. This would then of course lead to a rather heated confrontation and a rising of suspicions by the younger Chase. Rickie then concluded that he would take advantage of Angela's distraction and say nothing, especially when Rayanne had told him about Angela bumping into Jordan earlier. God mercifully had given him a break, it happened that Joey's mother had bought the tickets at the last minute and they were going to be in the seated section far from the stage. So all he had to do was ensure they didn't wander off._

_Rickie had picked the boys up from the Hilton at 5pm, he was bring them out for dinner as Angela was still stuck with the producers. They were buzzing with excitement as they left the restaurant to go to the concert. "Damn Chase I haven't been this stoked since Julie kissed me on New Years. I hope Catalano's on form tonight" Joey grinned at Jason. Rickie tensed visibly at the mention of Jordan, the boys didn't notice, they were too engrossed in their conversation. "How can you even question the great Jordan Catalano like that Joey? He's going to be epic, like he always is" Jason punched his friend playfully. Rickie almost laughed at the irony of this situation, he tried not show his discomfort as they all got into his BMW SUV. "Sorry for doubting your idol Jay. I forgot how much you adore him" Joey joked , Jason shot him a withering look before shoving him "You're so funny, I know you totally have the hots for Shane Lewis". Joey stuck his tongue out at Jason "I just admire his skill, he's an animal on the drums." Jason rolled his eyes "Sure. It's just one drummer admiring the skill of another, you totally have a man crush on him Joey" Jason laughed . Joey pouted "Shut up Chase, at least my hero's not rocking a ridiculous haircut. Did you not see that picture of Catalano, Robbie Taylor posted on Twitter?." Jason Chase sighed in defeat "Yeah, I saw the Mohawk. Taylor labelled it 'Catalano is a putz'. Maybe it's just misplaced grief over Amy Flynn, she's gotten engaged to that actor d-bag Michaels." Rickie couldn't help but be surprised at Jason's perceptiveness, he was right about the misplaced grief, just not about the girl . The two boys continued on debating the situation in the back of the car, as Rickie drove them to the venue. In all his years living in L.A he'd never been to this place, which made his apprehensions over the current situation grew exponentially. As he finally found a parking space, he said a last minute prayer to Jesus that he hadn't made a fatal mistake._

_Jason Chase was in seventh heaven as the band at last took to the stage, he didn't care if he was at the far end of the stadium. All that mattered to him at that second was he was getting to see his favourite band of all time, perform live for the first time. Joey hadn't been exaggerating when he's implied Jason idolised Jordan Catalano, there was no one Jason looked up to more musically then him. The fact that his mother had dated him at one time made his admiration increase greatly, sometimes he wished Jordan had been the one to get his mother pregnant and not some random guy named Steve at a party his mother had gone to. Jason had always felt an affinity to the frontman ever since he'd discovered their music two years ago, as he grew older people began to say he looked quite like him, which Jason found was quite complimentary. He'd known immediately it was Jordan Catalano singing 'Red' on the soundtrack for the movie, he was elated. Tough he hadn't mentioned it to his mother, for some reason she didn't approve of his interest in 'Echelon'. Jason had to admit though, despite his admiration, as he saw Catalano enter the stage to the screams of 20,000 fans, the Mohawk did make him look like a putz. Jason thought evilly for a second, maybe I should do that to my hair too, just to piss of my mom. Any further plans were forgotten as the band launched into "Escape" and Jason was lost in the music._

_Rickie began to breathe easier and enjoy the concert as it reached just over the halfway point. Jason and Joey had ignored the requests of the Stewarts and were jumping up and down in the aisle, totally rapped up in the concert. As Echelon finished the end of 'This is War', Jordan began speaking to the crowd. "How are you all doing out there, having a great time?". The crowd roared in response, Jordan smiled broadly "Now a lot of you may be wondering why the fuck I did this to myself" he continued to grin cheekily as he pointed at his hair. The crowd shouted again. "Well you see I met my old high school girlfriend earlier today". Rickie's heart stopped beating as he could feel his dinner rising back up his oesophagus, he was so panicked he knew was going to vomit. Jason eyed his paling face curiously, but his attention was quickly taken up by Jordan. "You see this girl, this girl was the one that got away. You know, the one you always wonder about. Any who our reunion didn't exactly go well" the crowd all gave a massive "Ahh" as Jordan pouted comically like a toddler "She told me once she loved my hair, so in a way this Mohawk is a massive 'fuck you ' to the girl that broke my heart when I was a kid" Jordan bellowed gleefully. The audience screamed in appreciation. Rickie felt as if he was going into cardiac arrest ,he was praying Jordan didn't say her name. "If there is a god, please let him stop Jordan" he whispered. Jordan's face grew dark for a moment, but as he shook his head his mask of good humour returned. "Ok everyone repeat after me . Fuck You Red" Jordan shouted, Jason and Joey along with everyone in the stadium screamed back the phrase in amusement. " Ironically our next song fits perfectly in with my story of my new hair. So Red , wherever you are. This is for you. " Jordan turned back towards his band mates, Shane scowled at him as the opening chords to 'The Kill' filled the stadium. Rickie said a 'Hail Mary' in gratitude as the song started, he knew Jordan's rant was over. Everyone in the stadium yelled out as loud as they could as Jordan leapt in to the crowd during the chorus. Rickie couldn't help but feel the honesty of Jordan's words as he heard him roar "I am finished with you"._

_An hour later the concert finished on a high as 'Kings and Queens' final note rang in the electric atmosphere. Rickie could relax again as they exited the balcony, he'd made it through relatively unscathed. Jason and Joey were wired from the whole experience, their wide eyed energy contrasted greatly with Rickie's obvious exhaustion. "Oh my God. Joe that was the best fucking night of my life. I hope we can play like them some day" Jason giggled excitedly. Joey sighed contentedly "I know, one day I'll be as good as Lewis, he's a monster on those drums". Jason laughed "Keep dreaming buddy." Joey glowered at him but said nothing, he let the comment slide for once. "We have to learn that cover of Bad Romance, it was sick!" he said eventually. Jason nodded in agreement enthusiastically "Damn man I wish we could meet those guys so bad. Too bad we have Robocop here watching our every move" he motioned back to Rickie who was a couple of feet in front of them. As they reached the bottom of the stairs from the upper balcony, Rickie turned back to them suddenly. "Just wait here a second, I've got to use the bathroom." Jason and Joey had looked at one another instantly sharing a thought without words. Before Rickie could even reach the bathroom door they'd already ran off towards the backstage exit, sneaking by the tired security easily._

_Shane was standing outside by the backstage door having a smoke while the others took their sweet time getting ready to leave. He was furious with Jordan, while the concert had been a success, he was not at all impressed by Jordan's behaviour tonight. The aforementioned lead singer was sitting in their dressing room drinking his brains out, refusing to move till he was good and ready, flagrantly disregarding the tour rules. Shane was almost ready to strangle him at this stage, he was tired and wanted to go to sleep after their longer than usual set. As he stood out in the warm night air he heard the voices of two guys bickering coming from the next exit along the alley. "Shit Joey, I think we took a wrong turn" the first voice moaned. "I was following you Jason, so it's your damn fault" the second voice grumbled. Shane chuckled, after nearly thirty years of friendship he and Jordan still argued constantly like that, he listened to the boys in enjoyment. "Shut up man, just because you were too chicken to take the lead doesn't mean it's my fault" , Shane now assumed this was Jason talking. "All I'm saying is if we don't find the band soon enough, this little adventure will be totally a waste of time. We'll just get in shit for no justifiable reason." Joey moaned .As Shane saw two shadows walk out of the exit he moved to watch them, while still being disguised in the dark. Shane guessed they were in their mid teens, one of them was tall ,lean and dark haired, while the other was short and blonde. The taller of the boys scratched at his dark head, his thick short hair sticking out at odd ends. The blonde on turned back down the alley towards where Shane was hiding, he looked pensive while deciding which way to walk. He tipped his friend on the shoulder, before pointing further down the alley where he'd been looking "I think we should try this way Chase". As the boy named Chase turned around, Shane barely had time to contemplate the weird coincidence of the boy's name before reality hit him full force in the gut. He practically swallowed his cigarette in shock as he was confronted with the face he'd seen almost everyday when he was a teen. There was no doubt this boy was Catalano's kid, Shane saw it instantly. He had the same blue eyes that drove the girls wild, the same button nose, which the kid hadn't quite grown into yet, and the same dark hair. Had he not known for a fact Jordan was sitting in the dressing room getting drunk, Shane would have almost believed he'd gone back in time. Even the confused look upon the boys face matched Jordan's exactly. The only part that really noticeably differed his appearance from Catalano's was his mouth, yet it still felt familiar to Shane. He'd seen that wide smile before. "Jason, come on" Joey said more assertively. Shane felt panic rise up in him as Jason started to walk towards where he was hiding, literally mere feet away from his father. Shane had to act quickly, he pulled the emergency exit closed behind him and leaned against it with his full weight, he had to ensure no one came out. Shane tried his best to appear nonchalant as he smoked a newly lit cigarette as Jason approached._

_Joey was the first one to spot Shane leaning against the door "Oh my God it's him. Shane Lewis!". Both teens raced the final few metres to the small set of stairs leading up to the door. "Yeah it's me. Nice night boys, what you doing back here?" Shane said politely, trying not to freak out with the doppelganger of teenage Jordan Catalano standing in front of him. Jason answered, Joey was now dumbstruck in the presence of his hero "I know we're not supposed to be here,bit we snuck past those security guys way too easy" He smiled boldly "We just really wanted to meet you guys". Shane smiled softly at them, there was no ulterior motive here as he'd initially feared, only some enthusiastic fans it seemed. "Well you found me. I'm really sorry but the other two have already left, I'm just waiting for the manager because he has my hotel room key" Shane noticed Jason's eagerness deflated a little when he heard this. "Oh" Jason tried to hide his disappointment "Doesn't matter, just wanted to say you guys played a terrific show. Best damn thing I've ever seen" he said earnestly. Shane gave him a grin " Thanks kid. Say, you're not from around here are you?" he said curiously. Jason gave him a cheeky smile "This dump God no. We're New Yorkers, from Queens originally." Joey suddenly found his voice "You haven't lived in Queens for six years, you live in Park Avenue for God's sake. He thinks it makes him sound tough to tell people he's from Queens." Shane laughed as Jason rolled his eyes "Fine, I'm from Park Avenue, you happy now "he said pointedly to Joey. "What brings you here this evening?" Shane smiled as he took another drag from the cigarette. "My mom had a business meeting this weekend, and I begged her to bring me and Joey to L.A. His Mom bought the tickets of some really suspicious guy a week ago at the last minute. So we were right at the back unfortunately." Joey suddenly butt in again "His Mom's famous. That's why we got to stay in the Hilton's best room." Shane interest increased ten fold as Jason looked down in embarrassment at his friend "Famous you say. Would I know her?" he said casually. Jason hesitated "Kind of, she's a writer. Your song 'R-Evolve' is on the soundtrack of the movie version of one of her books. Apparently she went to your high school for a while too". Shane froze for a second, his mind immediately weighed up the evidence in front of him, it all only pointed in one direction. Angela Chase was the mother of Jordan's kid. If it had been any other girl in the world, it would have been better than this, the revelation would not have troubled him as much as this fact was just fucking brilliant, exactly what Shane needed, another mess made by Angela for him to clean up. Jason looked at Shane's dark expression with confusion, Shane shook his head conscious of Jason's puzzlement and his frown disappeared. "Really she went to my school, weird! What's her name?" Jason eyed him strangely "Angela Chase." Shane feigned surprise, not very convincingly unfortunately. "Angela's your mom, that is strange. I remember her vaguely, she went out with Catalano for a week or something". Jason was about to ask another question as a familiar voice called him angrily "Jason, what the hell do you think you're doing, you too Joey McCarthy!" Rickie stamped up the alley towards the two boys who looked sheepishly at him. He stopped abruptly when he saw Shane, a look of horror forming across his face. Shane simply nodded at him continuing to look casual, succeeding in hiding the storm that was forming beneath his calm exterior. Rickie gulped visibly before turning back to the boys "Come let's get you home before you get yourselves into trouble." he muttered his anger completely subdued. Jason and Joey waved goodbye as they followed Rickie down the alley. Shane banged his head off the door in frustration when they were out of sight, torn in what he should do. He couldn't talk to Angela directly, he'd just explode at her, how could she keep hurting Jordan like this? A light bulb went off in his head, he dug his cell phone out of his pocket, scrolling down till he reached his publicists number. "Hey Delia, I really need you to bend the rules for me, it's an emergency. Could you get me Rayanne Graff's number if you can."_

_._

_As soon as Rickie had arrived back at Angela's suite with kids he knew something was up, particularly when he saw she was starring blankly at her cell phone. Jason and Joey went into their room to watch TV, giving Rickie the opportunity to ask her directly. "Did you and Rayanne have a fight? Because you look like you have the world on your shoulders." Angela looked up him impassively "Rayanne got a text today from Shane Lewis, Jordan's best friend. He somehow found out about Jason, and is giving me till tomorrow night to tell Jordan or he, and I quote ,will be forced to take action. I don't know how he even found out?" Angela cover her face with her hands, Rickie bit his lip, his conscience eating at him already. "Angela, it's my fault. The concert we went to tonight, it was Echelon." Angela's eyes grew wide, her expression grew angry. "They were out of my sight for like ten seconds when I went to the bathroom, they ran off to meet the band. When I finally found them, they were chatting to Shane. I'm so sorry Angela". Her face grew scarlet as her rage began to boil over "You're sorry! Do you realise what you've done you fucking idiot? Get out Rickie . Now!" She screamed at him, shoving him hard towards the door. Rickie looked at her apologetically before leaving, Angela squeezed the phone in her hand as she braced herself to make the call she was dreading._

_Three hours later, in a hotel across the city, Jordan Catalano dragged himself into his room bleary eyed and hungover. He'd passed out in the dressing room and the roadies had carried him into the car and then into an arm chair in the hotel suite. He stumbled across the room flopping onto the bed. On the locker beside him he'd left his phone. It buzzed incessantly, flashing 4 missed calls from an unknown number. He wondered who had called him and he saw he had a voicemail message, he pressed it reluctantly and listened. As soon as he heard the first syllable he'd sat up straight on the bed recognising the voice. "Hey Jordan it's me Angela. Look I'm really sorry about earlier, I completely overreacted. You were right, I was being a hypocrite and a gigantic bitch. I'm so sorry, honestly I'm sorry for a lot of reasons and I know you probably never want to see me again. But I don't really want to leave things like this between us, and I want to talk to you, about so many things. To explain. I'm leaving L.A tomorrow night so maybe you could meet me at Café Rouge at 2pm. I totally understand if you don't turn up, but just so you know I hope you do. I'll be waiting." ,Jordan heard her take another breathe as if she wanted to say more, instead she ended the message. He sat there motionless for a moment, with the phone still pressed to his ear, this day had been one long thing that made no sense. In less than 24 hours he'd been reunited with Angela, had a massive fight with her, only for have her ask to see him again. He couldn't wrap his head around it at all. He looked at his phone, there was only one answer he could give to her request. _

_Angela was wide awake when her cell phone buzzed loudly as she received a text._

"_I'll be there at 2pm. Jordan C__". She sighed in relief finally being able to fall asleep._


	7. A new beginning

**Ok, I know I said the last chapter was going to be the last one for a while but I couldn't resist. Partly as the reviews were so kind, particularly the person who called the story orgasmically good! I LOL'D a lot at that one! This chapter is a hell of a lot lighter than the others, which I felt was neccessary(It can't be all drama and angst 100% of the time) I enjoyed writing this one because it's kind of a reconciliation between them of sorts. Anyway enjoy and feel free to review even if the comment is negative. I take on board constructive criticism quite readily. Hope to update soon**

**-RedCatCatalano**

As Angela Chase approached Café Rouge her heart began to beat at an unimaginable pace, bursting out of her chest in anticipation. All the way over in the taxi her mind had been overdrive as she tried to figure how she was going to attempt to tell Jordan about Jason. Angela almost wished she'd told him in the voicemail message from the night before, yet really that would have been a disaster. She knew a 'I'm sorry about breaking your heart but by the way we have a son' was definitely not the right route to take, she had to lead up to it somehow. Put in him a good mood before dropping the bomb, at least in theory it sounded like a better plan. Jason himself was out with Rickie and Joey at the Griffith observatory for the afternoon. Angela was still not talking to Rickie, but had not raised any objections to the trip because she needed her son to be as far away from her as possible, he thought she had another business meeting that day.

Angela took a deep breath before she opened the door to go into the Café, she had chosen it because it was in one of those rare areas of the city that was not swarming with paparazzi. Angela did not want to have this meeting splash across the tabloids and internet gossip pages the next day. The café was welcoming and cosy, the type of place celebrities could escape to without fear of being bothered or hounded for autographs. Rayanne had suggested it, she'd been there a few times with more well known friends and had marvelled at its respectful atmosphere. Angela gave the girl at the counter a small smile as she entered the building fully, she then looked around for a suitable table. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw him sitting in one of the corners, he was hunched over the table reading a book. Despite the relatively warm temperature, Jordan was wearing a charcoal gray beanie on his head. Angela felt her throat grow dry as she watched him, his face was pensive as he read the book but she couldn't see his eyes through the dark aviator sunglasses he was wearing. It was obvious that he'd been there a while by his posture. This surprised her greatly as it was barely past a quarter to two, and Jordan was not known for being one to stick to concrete plans. She sighed before walking confidently over to his table. "Hey" she gave him a slight smirk "you're here early". Jordan turned to look at her as soon as she spoke "So are you." he smiled back.

"Yeah, well considering I organised the meeting I'm allowed to be early. What's your excuse?" her smirk grew into a genuine smile. Jordan marked his place in the book a gave her a mock embarrassed grin "Don't tell anyone but I'm a little intimidated by you. I had to come early in order to prepare myself to be in your presence". Angela rolled her eyes at him as she sat down, she hadn't been expecting their meeting to be so light-hearted. but she was enjoying the banter. "Don't worry Catalano your secrets save with me" she gave him a flirtatious wink. He laughed a little ,removing his sunglasses he watched her intently for a second ,still smiling at her sweetly. Angela knew this was her cue to open the discussion onto what this get-together was about, but she didn't want to break this newfound harmony between them. "What are you reading?" she said pointing at the upturned book. He frowned for a flash, disappointed she hadn't taken the hint. His expression became a little more sober as he sighed "Eh, it's A Clockwork Orange. I've read it before." Angela raised her eyebrows in surprise, he instantly noticed this and looked at her self-consciously "What? You didn't think I could read a book like that . I'm not as dumb as I look" he smirked slightly. She couldn't help but give him an apologetic smile "No. I wasn't implying that at all. I'm just impressed, I tried to read it in college and couldn't make any sense of it. Honestly, it's just odd to think of you reading works of English literature with such ease." Jordan shrugged his shoulders but visibly relaxed when she said this, he gave her a half smile "I've come a long way since high school". Angela nodded still smiling slightly "You really have." she said softly.

The atmosphere between them became tense as she said this, both knew it was time to stop avoiding the elephant in the room that had brought them here today. Angela's features started to grow serious as she took a deep breathe, knowing it was her responsibility to begin the difficult conversation they were evading. She stared at the salt shaker in the middle of the table as she began "Look. I'm really sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have flipped out at you over 'Red'." Angela couldn't lift her eyes to see his reaction, she frowned as she continued "Frankly I was acting like…..". "A child" Jordan suggested teasingly. Angela laughed quietly to herself as she raised her eyes to meet his "Yeah. I acted like a child." Jordan looked at her with amusement in his eyes, he was not mad at all. He exhaled loudly as he leaned in closer to her across the table " Yeah, well I didn't exactly act like an adult yesterday either" .Angela looked at him in confusion as Jordan shifted uncomfortably in his chair " Do you remember you told me once, you loved my hair" Angela nodded still looking baffled "I kind of wanted to get back at you, so …" Jordan didn't finish his sentence. He looked around the room before lifting his beanie to reveal his now flat Mohawk, he replaced his hat again quickly. Angela's mouth fell open in shock, she lifted her hand to her mouth stifle her giggles as she began to shake uncontrollably in silent laughter. Jordan pouted at her, trying to hide his embarrassment, he rubbed his temple before giving into a coy smile. He liked seeing her like this, her face so full of exuberance and joy. "I'm glad you find it so goddamn entertaining" he said wryly, not being able to stop himself from grinning. Angela hiccupped loudly trying to contain her laughter "I'm sorry Jordan but it's the most ridiculous revenge I've ever heard of". Jordan shook his head now beaming, he could feel laughter beginning to rise up in his own chest. " I sort of feel like a tool now, because I also told the audience last night, 20,000 people to be exact, to say 'Fuck you Red'. " he said brazenly. Angela was motionless for a second, Jordan thought for a dreaded moment he'd offended her. Then she threw her head back laughing loudly, tears now streaming from her eyes. This time Jordan joined in, laughing heartily. "Age doesn't always mean maturity" he choked out. They both laughed loudly for a few minutes, clearly enjoying the delight of the other.

As they their giggles finally settled down, Angela without thinking, unconsciously reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his. "What a pair of idiots we are?" Angela smiled broadly at him, but her face fell as she saw him stiffen. He was staring absorbedly at her hand, his expression was unreadable as Angela realised with a start this was the first time she'd physically touched him in 15 years. She was about to remove her hand when Jordan sighed contentedly , enveloping her hand with his left one. He ran his thumb over her knuckles still not removing his gaze from her hand. Angela felt her heart beat faster then human possible, her face growing flushed by the simple touch of his rough finger tips. "You know, I always loved your hands. Especially those long piano fingers you have. What a disappointment I never heard you play, your mom told me once you were great" he said unreservedly. He lifted her hand up to his lips and gave it a small kiss before entwining his fingers with hers as he placed her hand back on the table. Angela gazed back at him in a daze, not really being able to form any coherent thought. Jordan eventually looked back up at her with warmth, his eyes shining with the exhilaration of their contact. Despite the perfection of the moment ,he felt the need to ask an important question. "Angela why'd you get so upset about 'Red'? You know I meant it as a compliment". Angela shifted in her seat uneasily, she ran her thumb along his hand for a moment before answering, she breathed in deeply "It reminded me of everything that could have been". She looked at him sadly for a moment, he nodded in understanding. "When I hear it, I remember that night. It was the last time I heard it from you". Jordan looked at her in confusion for a moment "But I never sang it to you". Angela gave him a shy, poignant smile "Just before I decided to leave, you started to hum it in your sleep. I nearly started to cry with the irony of it, but it was so cute". Jordan felt a tug upon his heart as he looked at her, he let out a long breath as he furrowed his brow "Regardless of what I said yesterday, I don't hold it against you, you know" he said sincerely. "Which part?" Angela said sardonically. Jordan looked at her with honesty "All of it. I understand why you left. You were right to, because Patty needed you more than I did. She's your mother and it wasn't fair of me to make you promise what I did. I shouldn't put you in that position."

No words were spoken as they shared a look filled with yearning for their lost opportunities, Jordan dropped his eyes suddenly. "Though I still can't believe I offered to move in with you" he leaned on his right hand as he looked at her sheepishly . Angela smiled at him kindly, she was evidently relieved by his compassion as she leaned in closer to him "It was really sweet actually". He didn't say anything for a beat, relishing her close proximity ,he smiled gently trying to disguise his insecurity. "I do wish you could have waited till I woke up so I could have said goodbye. " he said faintly. Angela chuckled "Honestly. If I'd done that I would never have left. You have this way of making me forget what I'm supposed to be doing. Especially when you kiss me, like you did that night" she looked at him playfully. Jordan grinned and sat up straight again, his anxiety quickly dissipating. "Oh really. Maybe I should have done that more often, it would have prevented so many needless arguments." he looked back at her deviously, all previous awkwardness was forgotten. "My mother always said, if there are no arguments, then there is no passion between people" Angela retorted mischievously. "Well, then you must really have the hots for me still Miss Chase, judging from our argument yesterday" Jordan winked at her seductively, smirking roguishly. Angela rolled her eyes at him, she noticed he wore the same smug expression as he had the night she'd snuck him into her house all those years ago. The same night Patty had inadvertently announce how much she liked Jordan, while he was hiding in her kitchen. That had been beyond embarrassing, particularly because he'd teased her relentlessly about it after. "Listen here Mr Catalano. I wouldn't be looking so self assured if I were you. I won't like you too long if you keep giving yourself stupid haircuts" she grinned at him evilly. Jordan remained looking smug, but his face flashed a definite shade of pink. He stretched his arms over his head, breaking the contact of their hands, then he glanced at her more seriously "Do you ever regret it?" he said steadily. "Regret what?" she replied simply, wanting to touch him again .Jordan heaved a sigh "Sleeping with me. You once told me, people regret more what they haven't done, over what they have. So, I have to ask, all things considered. Do you ever regret sleeping with me?". Angela looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, she reached over and squeezed his hand for a second as she flashed him a beaming smile "Never" she replied huskily. Jordan looked at her with obvious affection "Yeah. Me neither." he laughed slightly.

There it was, that perfect moment to tell him. All their previous baggage had been put behind them, they'd talked about everything rationally and maturely. And it seemed their long buried feelings for one another were just as strong as they had been, so why couldn't she just say it. This was her opportune moment and Angela couldn't spit it out. She was still staring at him adoringly, but inside her mind began to scream at her to act. Angela's countenance became grave as she finally snapped out of her reverie, Jordan turned his head and looked at her curiously. "Jordan, there's something I need…", Jordan's eyes unexpectedly grew wide as he glared just past her head "Oh Fuck " he hissed loudly. Angela whipped around in her chair to see a small group of paparazzi photographers hurrying to take their camera's out. Before Angela could blink Jordan had taken her by the hand and yanked her away from the table. "Where's your back entrance" he called to the waitress, she pointed to the left into a narrow corridor. Jordan led Angela down the corridor still gripping tightly to her hand "Damn, that was close. I hate those guys" he said breathlessly. "My car is parked just half a block away, but I don't think we'll make it there without one of them snapping a picture of us" he said in irritation. "It's ok. You go, I'll stay here till they're gone" Angela said assuredly. Jordan gazed at her unhappily, he really was reluctant to go, this meeting between them had been beyond any of his expectations. That being said they couldn't stand in the stuffy corridor all day. "Are you sure?" he said considerately. She nodded earnestly "I'll be fine. Go". Jordan still looked unsure, but he nodded and turned towards the door. He stopped abruptly, his hand hanging above the handle, he spun back on his heel to face her. " Angela. The bands US tour ends in New York in a month. Can I see you again when we're finished?" he looked at her, ill at ease. Angela felt her blood rush to face with delight, he really was adorable when he was unsure of himself. "Jordan, you already know the answer to that question ,stupid" she laughed at him "Yes, of course. I don't know why you even felt the need to…." .Angela was interrupted by the ecstatic Jordan catching her face between his hands, kissing her with impulsive fervour. She barely had time to respond before he pulled back "Sorry. I interrupted you" he said softly. Angela gave him a glazed look before a goofy grin spread across her glowing face "You know what. I think just this once, I'll let it slide" she giggled. Jordan gave her a beaming smile in return, he pressed another small kiss upon her lips before he went towards the door. "See you soon Chase." he said keenly as he exited the Café.

Angela fell against the wall as soon as he was gone, her knees weak with her barely contained joy. Jordan Catalano had just kissed her, and he very much wanted to see her again. She moved her hand to her lips, they were still burning from his touch. Angela jumped four feet into the air in elation, she hadn't felt this happy in a very long time. As she wandered back to their table she still felt herself to be very much still within a daze. The fact that she still hadn't told Jordan, the actual reason why she'd really called the meeting, was irrelevant. She'd tell him eventually. Shane's empty threats did not scare her, not when she'd just fallen head over heels back in love with Jordan. 'Let him do his worst' she thought, hadn't he ever heard the expression don't shoot the messenger. Angela noticed Jordan had left his book on the table, she grinned dizzily at the prospect of another excuse to talk to him, her cell phone then buzzed loudly

"Well how'd it go?- Rayanne xxxx"

Angela sighed

"Like a dream. I'm practically mush at the moment, guess that's what a good kiss will do to you!"

Rayanne didn't respond for a couple of minutes.

"I'm guessing you didn't get around to dropping the Jason bomb. You better have a good excuse Chase"

For once Angela felt she did, I mean she was just about to tell him when they'd been interrupted. So if she had a legitimate excuse ,why could she feel her mood dipping quite rapidly? Then the thought suddenly occurred to her. What was she going to do about Brian? She groaned loudly as she hit her head off the table, why was life so damn complicated.

As soon as Jordan had entered the hotel room whistling tunefully Shane knew instantly Angela hadn't told him. He couldn't believe she hadn't taken the threat seriously, she was calling his bluff. "You sound in good form Catalano, for once ." Robbie joked. Jordan shot him a satisfied grin "I am Rob. I'm in ridiculously good form. I've got a date with Angela Chase next month." Jordan wandered off gleefully into another part of the suite, still whistling loudly. Shane clenched his drumsticks in his hands tightly, that bitch was mocking him, making him feel a fool. She didn't know who she was dealing with. No one messed with his best friend and got away with it. Shane walked into the bathroom clutching his phone, he knew the number off by heart that he dialled. "Hey Dooley. I have a job for you. I want you to gather as much info as you can on a kid called Jason Chase, I want anything you can find. His mother is Angela Chase and a possible starting address is Park Avenue Manhattan. Also try Queens. I want that information by next month. I know it's short notice, but if you get it done by then I'll pay treble the usual. Nice doing business with you Dooley". Shane smirked cunningly, Angela Chase had no idea who she'd just pissed off.

**Just a little teaser for the next chapter. Jordan will find out about Jason in the next installment!**


	8. A secret is out

**Hey all ,I just couldn't leave you hanging like that so here's a monster of a chapter for you to read! A lot happens but I felt it neccessary to include everything. I'm getting really busy with college work (It's also my last year!) so it's probably the last update for a while. Also I'm not entirely sure of my next move in this story will be, I have an idea but it's not concrete. Anywho...hope you enjoy all the drama! Adios mis Amigos**

**-RedCatCatalano**

A month for Angela Chase had seemed to drag by. Even though she was insanely busy with the preparation for the premiere in May, time never appeared to go quick enough. She had been counting down the days till she would see Jordan again, and now the time was approaching she couldn't contain her excitement. They'd been in constant contact since the day in the café, calling one another as regularly as their schedules would allow. They had talked about the past, their good times together and all the trouble they'd gotten into. They talked about all the things they'd done since high school, her time in NYU, how Echelon had gotten their record deal and everything else that had happened between then and now. Somehow Angela had steadfastly avoided even mentioning or hinting at Jason inadvertently, she still wasn't ready. One day they had swapped condolences over lost loved ones, Angela said she was sorry to hear about Tino and Jordan was sorry to hear about Graham. Angela's father had, had a fatal heart attack not long before Tino's death, an unexpected coincidence that neither party liked to dwell on. Later in their phone exchanges Jordan once rang to tell her he'd gotten rid of the Mohawk, announcing he was now irresistible to her again. She'd laughed and told him to keep dreaming. Most of the time they just talked about nothing at all, content just to listen to each others voices. After a week of these conversations Angela knew, this was not just some trivial return to her past, she was well and truly infatuated with Jordan again. That was when she'd irrevocably ended it with Brian, yet he had taken it quite well. Brian told Angela, he'd always known Jordan would come in a sweep her away from him again eventually. He understood. To Angela's great surprise and delight, a week later she heard Brian and Rayanne had some kind of a 'thing' as they called it ,going on. It looked as if for once everything was working out.

As soon as Echelon had landed in JFK on Thursday, Jordan had called her to go to dinner that night. Angela had agreed immediately, Jason was practising with his new band anyway, so she was totally free. So this was where she found herself, sitting across from Jordan Catalano, grinning like a fool as they teased each other relentlessly. Jordan was eating a large sundae as he laughed at some story she'd been telling. "Are you seriously going to eat that whole thing by yourself" she said amused by his behaviour as she raised her eyebrow comically at him. "Yep! Jordan Catalano does not share ice cream" he stuck his tongue at her, then spooning more chocolate into his mouth. Angela smirked at him as she stuck her finger into the sundae glass and licked the ice cream off her finger, looking at him defiantly. Jordan shook his head silently accepting the challenge she'd set down. He picked up the cherry from the top of the glass and threw it at her. "You didn't seriously just throw a glace cherry at me. What are you twelve?" she pretended to look at him with irritation before breaking out into a smile. "I'm thirty three, and you started it" he retorted grinning at her. "Well you acted like a child first by not sharing. You're so immature" she pouted at him like a baby. Jordan rolled his eyes and pushed the sundae towards her "Fine you can have some. Just stop complaining". She gave him a smug grin and winked at him knowing she'd won this battle of wits. Jordan sighed loudly as she ate a massive spoon of ice cream and butterscotch sauce, he couldn't help but smile at her. She was too goddamn cute sometimes.

It was nearly eleven o'clock when they'd finally finished up at the restaurant, it was such a nice night they decided not to take a cab to Angela's apartment. They went instead to take a walk through Central Park on the way to her building. As they walked slowly side by side Jordan took her hand in his, Angela quickly entwined her fingers into his and leaned against him. He smiled contentedly, he hadn't been able to touch her before now in case some paparazzi would catch them. Now in the dark park, they were free from prying eyes and he could close the distance between them. They walked through the park in total silence, just enjoying being together. "Do you remember Lowenstein's party?" Jordan said suddenly. Angela looked at him curiously "You mean the party you barfed on my shoes and then kissed me directly afterwards. Which was disgusting by the way." she gave him an evil grin as he winced in embarrassment ."Yeah what about it" she sighed cheerfully. "I'm just thinking. That was the party I realized you totally loved me" he smiled down at her. Angela just shrugged her shoulders "All I did was make sure you didn't choke on your own vomit" she said softly. Jordan stopped walking for a moment and turned to face her, giving her a silly grin "You thought I was asleep didn't you" he said subtly. Angela blushed brightly for a second "You weren't?". Jordan shook his head brushing the hair away from her face with his hand. "Nope. I was pretending, I knew, if you knew I was fine you'd leave. I enjoyed you being so near. I know you spent ,like, an hour lying on the bed beside me ,watching me and stroking my hair". Angela cringed covering her face with her free hand, she then slapped him lightly on the chest "Be quiet, ok . I was afraid you were going to die or something. So, shut up" she turned back around and pulled him forward "Come on Catalano and stop grinning at me like that". Jordan just chuckled and let her lead him for a moment, before pulling her back in towards him again .They continued on in harmony, with Angela still blushing slightly as she leaned back against his shoulder, their hands still securely held together. They soon reached the exit to Angela's building, but did not separate now they were back out in the open again. They stopped just at the door to the building, Angela looked at him awkwardly "Look I'm sorry that I can't invite you up but…". Jordan raised his hand to shush her "Angela, I have to get up early tomorrow anyway for the show. So don't worry, I wasn't expecting anything anyway" he pulled her closer and laid his forehead against hers "I'm here for another two week by the way, for a break, so I'm in no hurry." Angela gave him that wide smile he loved so much "Really? Two weeks" she said joyfully. He simply grinned in response still leaning against her "I know a certain someone's birthday is coming up soon. You didn't think I'd forget that Miss Chase". Angela stared at him with adoration and continued to smile, he moved his hands to her face to close the short distance between them. They shared a lingering kiss before Jordan stepped away grudgingly, knowing if he didn't leave now, he'd never get back to the hotel. "Anyway I gotta to go before Shane kills me." he sighed unhappily, Angela nodded in agreement laughing slightly. "Go on. Go before I jump you" she grinned. Jordan shot her a seductive wink as he got into a waiting taxi "You free on Sunday" he said smoothly before closing the door. Angela nodded enthusiastically "See you then Angela" he called through the open window. She waved goodbye as she skipped merrily all the way to the elevator.

It was Saturday, the day after the final night of the US tour, and all the members of Echelon were exhausted from their dense schedule. No one more than Shane, he hadn't been able to sleep since they'd arrived in New York, it was crunch time for him. Dooley had come through for him and now Shane had everything he needed to sink Angela Chase once and for all. He had a plan and he was going through it. From what Dooley had gathered ,Shane knew that tonight Jason Chase was performing in his schools talent contest and Shane was making sure Jordan was going to see him. Shane knew Angela would probably be there too, ergo he was killing two birds with one stone. He sighed as his reflection in the bathroom mirror, the shit was about to hit the fan and he was putting himself directly in the line of fire. Yet he was willing to do what was necessary, the truth had to come out.

As he walked out of the bathroom he smiled openly at Jordan who was playing his guitar gently. Jordan smiled back at him slightly, for though he was content, he was also extremely tired. Shane sat opposite him on the other couch before taking a deep breath "Eh, Frank just called me about this kid he wants us to take a look at tonight. He said he might be a good support act if we play Madison Square gardens in October." Jordan looked at him unenthusiastically "Oh yeah. Don't you think it's a little soon to be thinking about this? We only just finished this tour." Shane had expected this kind of response "Come on Catalano, we'll be there max an hour. If he's bad we can tell our manager not to bother with him, just humour Frank. Please?". Jordan looked at him huffily "But I'm tired Shane and I don't want to be cranky tomorrow when I see Angela again". Shane gave him a persuasive grin "I'm drained too, come on Jordan it's an hour of your time." Jordan continued to scowl and shook his head stubbornly. Shane picked up mints from the bowl in the centre of the coffee table, he began to flick them at Jordan. "Quit it Shane" he sulked as he tried to dodge them glowering at his friend. "Not until you agree to come with me." he said calmly as he hit Jordan squarely in the middle of the forehead. Jordan threw up his hands in the air in frustration "Jeez, fine Lewis I'll go. Just stop annoying me. If this kid sucks I'm holding you responsible and I will get you back." he growled. Shane stood up grinning cockily "You won't regret it Catalano." As he tossed Jordan his coat, Jordan muttered under his breath "I'm already regretting it".

As they approached the school, Shane's nerves began to play against his calm façade . Jordan had sat the entire way over in the Limousine with his hood over his head and his arms crossed, sulking like a little boy. He had barely noticed where they were or Shane's increasingly jumpy energy. When their driver had opened the door outside the entrance to the private school, Jordan had looked at Shane in horror. "This is where we're going. Some pretentious prep school". Shane just shrugged his shoulders "This is where Frank told me to be." Jordan stepped out of the Bentley glaring at Shane in exasperation "But someone will see us. How will we explain why we're here?" he groaned. "Relax, just pretend you're here to see a nephew of yours or something. Plenty of rock stars and celebrities kids go here so your not going to be bothered by insane, rabid fans." Shane gave him a playful punch as he went towards the door with their entrance tickets. Jordan still hung back, reluctant to go in. He considered this idea of Franks insane, why was Shane going along with it? "Come on Catalano and quit being a baby" Shane called to him, Jordan sighed and followed him up the small set of steps "I hate you right now" he huffed. The steward took their tickets silently but looked at them, both in shock and curiosity. Jordan felt deeply uncomfortable under the stewards probing gaze "We're just here to see my niece Consuela, she plays the piano" Jordan blurted out suddenly. The Stewart just raised an eyebrow at them and pointed down the hall to large double doors "Just straight on through, it's already started but there should be still seats at the back." he said jadedly. Shane nodded, biting his lip as he tried not to laugh . They both walked down the hall awkwardly "We're just here to see my niece Consuela" Shane said in a gruff voice, mimicking Jordan ."What the Hell Catalano, that is the worst alibi I've heard. Consuela, seriously! That's the best you could do?" Shane laughed. Jordan shoved him hard as he face went flaming red "Shut up. I panicked ok". Shane sniggered as he opened the door, music flooding out, Jordan just gave him a withering look as they entered the hall.

Just at the side of the stage Jason Chase stood looking out at the crowd. His heart was beating rapidly as he gulped loudly, there were more people out in the audience then he thought was going to turn up. The theatre was quite large, yet as far as Jason could see, every row of seats were full of people. He looked down from the fringes of the backstage area and caught his mother's eyes in the front row. She smiled up at him proudly, he smiled back nervously. Angela and Patty winked at him and he felt his confidence grow a little, he took a deep breath turning back to his band mates. He knew he could do this ."You ready to go on next Chase." Joey asked thoughtfully, conscious of his best friend's anxiety. Jason gave him a small smile "I was born ready McCarthy." He lifted his hand and each member gave him a high five grinning excitedly, they were ready to rock.

Shane nearly wet his pants in worry as Jason Chase entered the stage with his band, the audience cheered enthusiastically as they came on. Shane instantly recognised the small blonde boy as the kid who'd been with Jason the night he met him. The boy sat down behind the drum kit, as Jason adjusted the guitar strap on his shoulder. Jason's hair had grown out a little since Shane had seen him last, his dark fringe hung to just below his eyebrows, framing the vibrant blue of his deep eyes. Shane almost couldn't believe Angela had kept this secret from her son for so long, Jason looked exactly like Jordan. More than ever now his hair was longer, obviously the boy was just as inattentive as his father. Shane sneaked a look at Jordan in the next seat, he nearly smacked him as he saw Jordan engrossed in his Blackberry. This was typical, Jordan in his sulky mood was basically ignoring what was going on in front of him, slouching as far down in the chair as was humanly possible. Shane was about to nudge him when Jason began to speak into the microphone, Shane decided calmly just to let whatever was going to happen, happen.

"Hey, I'm Jason and we're the Whisky Chasers" he smiled broadly at the audience, trying not to let his fear show through. "Eh, we only just formed, like , a month ago, so…don't judge us too harshly." he voice was hoarse but self assured. Shane saw with dismay Jordan was still not looking at the stage, "Fuck" he cursed under his breath, this was all going to be for nothing if something didn't catch Jordan's attention soon. Yet Shane was too paralysed by fear to do anything. "So…. the reason we formed was myself and our drummer, my buddy Joey saw Echelon in L.A and we were inspired to start our own band". Jordan cocked his head to the side and gave Shane a fascinated look, finally distracted from his Blackberry. 'Just look up Catalano. Just Look up please' Shane shouted in his head but kept his face impassive, he shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Yeah, anyway because of that we're going to attempt to do some of their songs. The first ones a little mellow so, the orchestra's going to give us a little hand on this one. " A few kids came on stage carrying violins and the audience cheered again, Jason suddenly leaped forward to the mike again "Also it's my mom's birthday next week so if you could just cheer at the end, even if we suck, it would make the best birthday present ever. This is Modern Myth" Jason winked at his mother, then turned back to his band and signalled them to start.

As the Jason started to play, everything began to happen in slow motion for Shane. Jordan sat up straight in the chair and gave him a brash smirk, slowly turning to look at the stage. His face immediately grew white as his mouth fell open at the same time as Jason's young tenor voice rang out into the auditorium

"Did we create a Modern Myth,

Did we imagine half of it,

Would happen in a thought for now,

Save yourself, save yourself,

The secret is out"

Angela's proud smile faltered for a second as Jason repeated the line, how long could she keep this skeleton in the cupboard hidden. She knew it was only a matter of time till either Shane told Jordan or she did, as she gave Jason a beaming smile she made a promise to herself. Jordan was going to be told tomorrow, as was Jason. But just not at the same time. Patty gave her a knowing look before catching her daughter's hand in her own, maybe everything would be ok.

Jordan couldn't breath, his whole body was in overdrive as he tried to process what he was being faced with. All he could see was himself, shit scared aged seventeen and standing on stage singing 'I wanna be sedated'. The boy's singing voice matched his own uncannily, his bodily actions and expressions made Jordan feel sick, like a bad case of deja vu. There was no doubt in his mind as he stared, frozen to the spot and shaken with terror, that this boy was his own flesh and blood. Jordan turned to Shane, his eyes wide and his face nearly snow white. "What the fuck is this Shane?" he hissed. Shane took out a talent show programme, he turned the page and pointed to a name, Jason Chase-lead singer. Jordan stared at them name, his brow furrowed in confusion.

Jason was now finishing the second verse, moving once more into the chorus with added gusto.

"The secret is out"

The line started to run round and round in Jordan's head as his breathing became more erratic, he was gulping for air. He realised he was having a panic attack, he stood up suddenly "I have to get out of here" he gasped, racing for the door. Jason's voice grew louder and more expressive as he sang "Goodbye" over and over again, Jordan took one last look at the stage before clambering out the door. Shane sighed, it was finally done, no going back. The audience erupted into loud applause and Shane slipped out of the door after Jordan silently. Angela blew a kiss to Jason as he smiled brighter then he ever did before, he eyes shining with elation at his band's success.

Jordan had run into the men's bathroom as soon as he'd gotten out of the theatre. He now stood in front of the sinks splashing cold water on his face, trying to get his breath back. As Shane appeared behind him, Jordan was still hunched over the sink panting heavily. "Why did you tell like this? Why did you spring it on me like that?" he murmured through gritted teeth. "Because it was the only way you'd believe me and I wanted to give you the opportunity to confront Angela head on. She's sitting right in that room" Shane said simply pointing back out towards the auditorium. Jordan straightened up and rubbed his face with his hands .He looked at Shane forlornly, his spirit shattered, "I need to get out of here. Now" he whimpered barely able to control his emotions. Shane frowned "Jordan, you can't just ignore this" he said impatiently "You can't just run away and let her get away with this" his voice rising as his frustration grew. Jordan turned on his heel, he grabbed Shane by the lapels of his jacket and shoved him hard against the wall . "Don't you dare tell me how I'm supposed to react to this Shane, you have no idea what this like" he snarled, his rage rushing to the surface. Shane looked at him with fear for a moment, Jordan let go of him roughly before stalking off to the door. Shane glared at him from behind "Yeah good old Jordan running away like a coward when the going gets tough" he spat out. Jordan whipped around "Shut up" his voice was barely above a whisper, but Shane knew Jordan was close to exploding in anger. "She's been lying to you for years, keeping your son from you. Be a man and challenge her" Shane shouted. "I can't" Jordan hissed as he clenched his hands into fists tightly. "Oh yeah I forgot, when it comes to her you're a goddamn pussy! You could have anyone you fucking wanted, but no you still go back to the same bitch that breaks you heart every goddamn time. God you're so fucking stupid".

Before either one realised what was happening, Jordan had rushed forward and punched him in the face, knocking him to the floor It was the first time ever in their entire friendship that either of them had hit the other, Jordan's anger instantly deflated. " Ah shit. I'm sorry Shane. I didn't mean to hit you" he rushed over to help him up, Shane pushed away his hands. He rubbed his now bleeding lip, looking at Jordan bitterly ."This is what I get for always having your best interest at heart! What is so special about Angela Chase that you knock down your most loyal friend over it" he glared at Jordan "I'd take a fucking bullet for you man. Tell me what is so goddamn special about her that you can forgive her for something like this". Jordan pulled at the hair at the back of his head violently, before turning back to Shane who was still on the floor. "I don't forgive her Shane alright, but you don't understand. Without her I'd be shovelling shit back in Pittsburgh for all I know. Maybe I'd be in jail like Pete. She was the first one to see me for more than just a pretty face, she saw me for more than just some piece of shit white trash with no hope." Shane ran his fingers through his hair still scowling at Jordan "She was the first one I loved, that loved me back for who I was. Stupid and all" Jordan said quietly. "But for once this isn't about her. It's about your son Jordan" Shane said sullenly finally rising off the floor, Jordan nodded . "That's exactly why I can't go in all guns blazing. That's what my father would have done and I'm not him. I can't just rip apart his world" he said firmly. Shane sighed dejectedly, but for once Jordan was right, he hadn't considered what a scene like that would have done to Jason. He placed a hand on Jordan's shoulder "Alright. But you can't let this slide Catalano. You need to act". "I won't let it slide Shane. Thanks for….everything and sorry about the face" he looked at his friend remorsefully. Shane shrugged "Ah forget it, I'll get more attention from the ladies with my war wound anyway" he smiled at Jordan, and everything was ok with them again. Shane reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a large brown envelope, he handed it to Jordan. "That's all you need to know about your son. Dooley got it for me. It might help you decide what to do" Jordan held the envelope gently, giving Shane a silent thank you . Shane walked towards the door "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pick up some loose women. See you later Catalano". Jordan laughed as his friend left the bathroom. He then looked down at the package in his hand and his expression became dark once more.

The hotel suite was silent as Jordan spread everything from the envelope on the coffee table in front of him. He had no idea how Shane's private detective friend Dooley had gotten half the stuff, but it was extensive information he'd gathered. There were school photo's from every grade, little league team photo's, baby pictures, report cards and even Jason's disciplinary record. Jordan picked up the copy of the birth certificate first.

Name: Jason Graham Chase,

Born: May 20th 1995,

Mother :Angela Chase

He looked down at the space provided for the name of the father, he sighed in relief as he saw his name. At least he wasn't completely written out of his own son's life. He flicked through the baby photo's ,his smile growing broad with every one he saw and very suddenly he began to feel it. This overwhelming sense of purpose, a reason why he'd been put on this Earth, an argument to exist beyond his own self means. Jordan looked down at the photos and realised he was no longer alone in this World, he was whole because he had found his family. Jason Chase filled the hole within his heart that his mother's abandonment and years of abuse by his father had torn out and he was not going to let anyone take Jason away from him. Jordan didn't need to hide the new found feeling of love he felt as he looked through the rest of the items, he did not care when he found himself crying. It hurt him to see that Jason and Angela had lived so long before her success in a tiny apartment, barely living above the poverty line in crappy area of Queens. Particularly when he'd been rolling in cash. As he looked at Jason's disciplinary records, it was obvious the kids short time in the streets had stood to him. He'd been in detention twice when he'd switched schools in 2004, for fighting. Both times the other kids had come off worse than Jason, including one boy getting a broken nose. Despite this little hiccup, Jordan could see the kid had a good childhood. There were so many pictures of trips to the zoo, Disneyworld in Florida and other outings with Angela, Jordan was in no doubt Jason was a well loved, happy kid. He felt himself fill with pride as he saw Jason's report cards, all A's and B's since 1st Grade. The boy was truly the best of both of them. Jordan felt a delight like no other as he saw Jason's long list of achievements, from MVP on his baseball team, to president of the alternative music club and the school science fair winner the year before. Jordan stared at Jason's freshman high school photo amazed at how he'd grown, he was practically a man now. He felt resentment boil deep within his soul, he hated Angela for stealing his son's childhood from him. As he looked over all the excerpts from Jason's life, his attention was caught by a small piece of paper.

_Who do you admire the most in your life? My mom Angela._

_Who is your personal hero? Why? Jordan Catalano. He makes great music and takes no crap from no one. He is my hero because he is his own man and doesn't let anyone define him._

Jordan couldn't read anymore, he felt his heart fill with sadness. The kid already idolised him it seemed and he hoped he wouldn't disappoint him. He sat for a long time staring at a recent picture of Angela and Jason smiling at the beach, hugging each other tightly as they smiled sweetly to the camera. As the sun rose over Manhattan, Jordan knew what he had to.

Patty was sitting in the kitchen drinking her morning coffee when the buzzer from downstairs sounded loudly in the apartment. She pressed the button on the intercom "Hello?" she said politely. "Hey Mrs Chase. I've got a Jordan Catalano down here requesting to come up" George the door man said briskly. Patty put her hand to her mouth in shock , she took a deep breath "Let him up George" she said numbly. A few minutes later Patty heard the knock on the door, she opened it slowly "Hello Jordan" she said coolly. He lifted up the yearbook picture of Jason to her eye level ,not reacting to her less then welcoming tone. "Where is she?" he asked heatedly. Patty just opened the door wider "You want some milk while you wait?" she said exasperated by the situation she found herself in as Jordan stamped in the doorway.


	9. No way Back

**Hey all here comes the big confrontation, the s**t has well and truely hit the fan. I'm not entirely sure about the next chapters, I might skip forward a little in time or do you want some interaction between Jason/Jordan? Anyway, it might be a while before I update again as per usual. Thanks all for the lovely reviews and enjoy the angst ridden chapter. Adios mis amigos**

**-RedCatCatalano**

The morning sun shone brightly through the windows in Angela's bright airy study, she was hard at work typing. All the recent developments in her relationship with Jordan had inspired to write again for the first time in a couple of years. She'd originally written 'Driving Lessons' and all the subsequent books in the aftermath of Jordan's sudden explosion into the public eye with his band. The pain of seeing him everywhere had hurt her more than she thought possible, especially when she'd seen constant photos of him with his numerous gorgeous girlfriends. That's when she'd started writing, to write the pain of it all out of her system. After she'd written the first one she didn't stop, maybe in a way it was her eliminating him finally from her life. For a while the plan had worked, she didn't think of him or care when she'd seen he'd gotten married. For a while she was indifferent to him, almost kidding herself that she could forget about him considering she had a living reminder of him in front of her everyday. Everything had gone smoothly until she'd heard 'Red'. The years of enforced apathy towards him evaporated immediately and Angela was suddenly 15 again, hopelessly under his spell. Though the years of separation had done them good she conceded, this time neither held back on their wants and needs, no longer scared by the depth of feelings for one another. Angela sighed happily as she typed, her writing this time not coming from a compulsion driven by pain and rejection, but of bliss. She wrote, because she couldn't contain the happiness she felt, it bubbled beneath her skin, making her glow with anticipation of what the future held for them. She did find it a little odd he hadn't called her last night like he said he would, but she just put it off as tiredness from the final night of the tour. She shivered with delight as she thought of their dinner date tonight, maybe she would invite him up this time she thought gleefully, a wicked smile crossing her face. 'There is no time like the present' she said breathily aloud, her thoughts wandering to a less then innocent scenario in her mind. As her mother appeared by the door frame Angela smiled at her cheerfully ."Hi Mom, how are you this fine Sunday morning?" she said happily as she continued to type rigorously, not really taking her attention away from the computer screen in front of her. "Angela" Patty said anxiously "stop and listen to me" looking at Angela seriously. Angela did as requested and observed Patty with concern "Is something wrong?" she said with obvious apprehension. Patty stared at the carpet for a moment before rising her eyes to meet her daughters. "Angela, Jordan Catalano is downstairs in the kitchen." Angela's eyes grew wide as she immediately comprehended what this meant. Patty exhaled loudly "He knows Angela, he has a picture of Jason and he wants to talk to you right now". Angela put both of her hands to her head and ran her fingers through her hair quickly, she closed her eyes as she leaned back into her chair . She shot forward suddenly, "Fuck" she hissed as she clenched her fists, slamming one of her hands onto the desk. Shane had made good on his threat and now she had to deal with the consequences.

As she entered the kitchen she saw him sitting at the breakfast bar staring blankly down at the floor on the other side, absentmindedly dipping an Oreo into the large glass of milk in front of him. When he became aware of her presence he looked up at her with a scorching glare, never had she seen a look so filled with hatred. He looked back at the milk, lifting the Oreo out of the milk he bit into it, Angela was sure the act of eating an Oreo had never been performed with such aggression as Jordan had done. He did not look at her as she walked hesitantly over to him, he angrily finished the Oreo before draining the remaining liquid in the glass. "You know there's a lot of things in the past that I regret doing. I've been a womanizer, a cheat and a god awful mean drunk, but never a liar." His voice was filled with bitterness as he spoke "Think what you want about me, but I've never lied to you about anything. I've always owned up to the truth, even when it makes me look like a dickhead." Jordan rose off the stool, finally looking at her again. He stared at her with such intense anger, she was sure he was going to snap. "Do you know why I don't lie? Because I hate liars" he said sourly. Angela was frozen under his fiery stare, unable to look at him directly in the face she looked down at tiled floor awkwardly. "So knowing this, imagine how I feel after everything that we've been through this last month and how far we've come, I find out you've been lying to me for nearly sixteen years." Jordan stepped in closer to her, rage building rapidly behind his blue eyes. Angela looked at him shamefully, her own green eyes filled with regret, unable to speak. "I mean I'd understand if I was some burn out, waste of space like my father or if you weren't able to find me, but we both know neither of those reasons are true". "Do you know what it's like discovering you're a father by seeing your kid on stage at a talent show?" Angela knew instantly Jordan had been at the school the night before, she could feel her lips starting to tremble as she finally found her voice "I'm so sorry Jordan, it's just so hard to explain". Jordan clenched his jaw in anger as he shook his head, he turned away from her for a second, running his hand over his short brown hair "Goddamn it Angela, try" he yelled. Angela jumped as she tried to withhold the tears forming in her eyes "I didn't know how to begin to tell you, it never seemed like the right time. Something always got in the way." Jordan shook his head in incredulity at her words "I did what I thought was best for both of you" she moaned insistently. Jordan laughed caustically "By keeping Jason away from his father. Who are you to decide what is the best for me?" he threw his arms up in the air in frustration. "Why didn't you come back and tell me when you found out or when Jason was born? I would have helped you." he said more evenly trying to reign in his anger. Angela sighed miserably, trying to make him understand "I I came back for Rayanne and Rickie's graduation, I was totally set on telling you….but then I met Shane in town" Jordan expression grew furious again "He's known since then" he snarled. Angela shook her head vigorously "No. I didn't say a word, I didn't get to. He told me how good you were doing and how you'd gotten into College in L.A, he said I was damaging for you and he demanded I leave you in peace. So I did what he asked,. I stayed away" Angela's resolve began to crack as she looked across at Jordan's hate filled face, he was not going to forgive her easily, that she knew for sure. "I couldn't just rip apart your world again. After how far you'd come I just couldn't…." Angela's voice failed her as tears finally began to flow freely.

Jordan felt his anger recede a little as he looked at her, his expression softened a little "We could have made something work." he said wistfully. Angela shook her head ,sighing desperately "Jordan, be realistic here. We can't even make it a month without fighting or one of us hurting the other." Jordan exhaled loudly, his whole body tensing in fury "We wouldn't be having this fucking fight if you hadn't lied to me" he shot back cynically. Angela suddenly grew angry, frustrated her intentions were being misinterpreted so blatantly "Why can't you understand I lied for your best interest" she huffed in irritation. "Yeah right! You did this for yourself" Jordan spat back. Angela scowled at him "Do you really think you'd be where you are now, a multi platinum selling musican, if you'd had to deal with a kid at eighteen." she shouted stalking over to him and giving him a small shove "I wanted to give you a bloody chance Jordan". He walked away to the large window for a moment ,staring out across the bustling city. "What about afterwards, when the band took off? Why didn't you come find me" he mumbled sulkily, not turning back. Angela laughed scornfully "Oh yeah, five years after breaking your heart, I'd just waltz in, penniless with your kid. I'm sure your supermodel girlfriend's would have loved that." Jordan felt his anger boiling under his skin, he clenched his fists tightly as he spun around glaring belligerently "So your telling me, you kept the only family I've got from me, because you were, jealous or something". Angela gave him a sneering look but didn't answer immediately. "Don't be so narcissistic, it wasn't like that" she growled. Jordan closed the distance between them, leering down at her dangerously, only centimetres from her face. Though he was barely five inches taller than her, Angela felt at that instant that he towered above her, scrutinizing her every breathe . "Then what was it then Angela, because right now it seems a rather slim excuse to me, that you were too insecure to confront me" he said in an eerily calm voice. Angela fixed him with a icy stare "You would have laughed in my face" she replied with venom. Jordan's nostrils flared as he fought to control his temper "I'm glad you think so highly of me. Now we're getting to the truth dear. You can't pawn me off with some tear filled bullshit story of how you did this all for me " he gritted his teeth. Angela's own temper flared, and she was unable to stop herself from what she said next in the heat of the moment "You want the truth Jordan, fine I'll give it to you . But don't be upset if I don't spare you your feelings". Jordan continued to glare, his chest heaving with pent up aggression "I never told you because, I could never depend on you. I didn't want you just disappearing from Jason's life when things got too hard" she looked at him with resentment "After how you reacted when Rayanne got pregnant, I couldn't take the chance of you freaking out. So I lived in shit conditions rather than come to you for help. I didn't need you messing up our lives when you got scared about actually having to be responsible for something. I didn't want you to fuck up my son irrevocably because you ditched him for something apparently better". As soon as she said it, it was like all the air rushed out of the room and around them hung deadly silence.

She knew instantly she'd gone too far as Jordan's face changed from anger to a deeply wounded expression. In all honesty, none of what she'd said was anyway true. He stepped away from her biting his bottom lip, trying desperately not to well up, his face going red with the effort. "I would never have abandoned you." he said barely above a whisper "after everything my parents did to me, how could you ever think I'd let that happen to my own kid?". Angela gazed at him forlornly unable to say anything as she saw him break apart in front of her, her heart ached in her chest as she saw the tears he was trying to hide. "So that's what think of me, despite everything I'm still some dumb, piece of white trash scum like my father. I bet all that night was to you was a good lay, an itch you needed scratching" Jordan voice was now thick with hurt. Angela's expression softened as she rushed towards him, gripping his arm "You know that's not what it was to me" she cried hysterically. He pulled his hands away from her grasp, his anger returning as he struggled to hide his upset "You stole my son's childhood away from me Angela, and I can never forgive you for it. He's the only family I've got left. Hell Pete's in prison, my father is barely still alive and drinking his liver into oblivion. My mother, damn who knows where she is." He stared down at her for a breath before walking to one of the kitchen chairs gripping it tightly, releasing some of the built-up tension within him. Jordan buried his head on the back of the chair, not allowing her to see the small tears that rolled down his cheeks. Angela looked at him, instantly sorry that she'd damaged him so much again "Jason's all I've got too Jordan, apart from my Mom and him I've no family either." she said quietly. Jordan didn't look back up at her "Your sister lives in Chicago Angela, it's hardly the same thing" he hissed. Angela sighed harshly " Jordan you don't own the rights on having a fucked up family alright. FYI, I haven't spoken to Danielle in years." she bit her lip strongly as memories flooded her mind " I had hardly spoken to my own father in years before he died. Since just after Jason was born I think. He gave me an ultimatum when I got pregnant, either give up Jason or never speak to him again. So I chose my son" she shook her head angrily, staring off dully at the opposite wall.

Jordan raised his eyes to look at Angela, he couldn't help but feel sympathy for her as she stared irately at the wall. He'd known she'd had a strained relationship with Graham, but never thought it had been as bad as that. In spite of this, his bitter mood overtook his compassion "That doesn't excuse anything Angela. You kept him from me". He straightened up, not caring that his eyes were now red rimmed, Angela looked at him frantically "I was afraid Jordan ok. I was terrified you'd hate me" she sobbed pathetically. Jordan sneered at her "Well it looks like you've got your wish. Because I do". Angela swore she felt her heart hit the floor as he said this, he immediately guilty as soon as the words left his mouth. Jordan moved away from the chairs and started to walk past her to leave, he stopped suddenly and twisted partially around with his head facing towards her again "You did an undefendable thing Angela and I can't forgive you, you created this prison so I hope you enjoy existing in it" he said coldly. Angela smirked at him nastily through her tears "Isn't the next line, how I'm punishing you because of some unconscious wish, Jesus did Krakow script this entire argument for you or just the finale." She laughed at him mockingly. Jordan's face flashed a shade of scarlet, furious that she'd hit so far below the belt, exposing his long buried insecurities. He narrowed his eyes at her "Grow up Angela" he muttered disdainfully. Angela scowled back up at him as he turned to leave, Jordan came to an abrupt halt as he came face to face with his son's confused blue eyes.

Jason Chase knew his mother was going to kill him. As he exited the elevator his pulse began to race to an unimaginable rate, he pulled his hat further down on his head. He'd been at an after show party with Joey and Sam last night and things had gotten a little out of hand. Sam had dared him to do it, Joey had supplied the clippers and Julie, Joey's girlfriend, had done the deed. They all convinced him, since he was now a rock star, he needed a more badass hair cut. It wasn't so much the Mohawk that he regretted the most though, but the fact that he'd allowed Beth to dye what was left of his hair. Beth swore it was pomegranate in colour, but it looked more like bright pink to Jason. Frankly he would have done anything Beth had suggested, he was like a love sick puppy for her. They weren't exactly going out, but they were besotted with one another, hence why he'd readily agreed to her request to dye his hair. Though in reality, how was he going to explain this new hair style to Angela. Admittedly they'd all been drunk when it had happened. Sam's older brother Caleb had supplied the beer, and they'd downed as much as they could in a short space of time, scared they'd get caught. Jason didn't know what his mother would do to him if she realised he was hung over or god forbid saw the massive hickey on his neck. He'd swore he was just going to Sam's house to hang out and watch a movie, and there would be no girls there whatsoever . Jason just hoped the hair would be enough to distract her long enough for the love bite to disappear. As he entered the penthouse, he could hear an argument coming from the other end of the apartment. Jason heard his name being shouted, he slowly followed the noise, curiosity getting the better of him. The voices became lower, but no less confrontational as he reached the big, open kitchen . He peered around the corner, seeing a man turned towards his mother. Jason couldn't see his face, but from his posture he knew the exchange was less then friendly. Jason felt himself growing protective of his mother as he saw her pained expression and then pained but sarcastic smirk, he knew this guy had upset her deeply. Jason quickly sized up the man in front of him, he was not more than 5'10, two inches taller then Jason and at most 20 pounds heavier. Jason felt, if necessary he could take him. He took a deep breathe before walking with conviction over to them. As the man muttered "Grow up Angela" Jason stopped in shock, he right away recognised the voice. Jason nearly wet his pants when he saw the mystery man turn around, looking at him in astonishment.

'Holy Fuck. What's Jordan Catalano doing here!" he exclaimed in surprise, unexpectedly finding his voice. Angela covered her mouth with her hands, Jason wasn't due home till the late afternoon. This was actually her worst nightmare, she'd had this dream before and it had always ended the same, with Jason running away. Jordan was still reeling from the shock of actually being in front of his newly discovered son, he was struck dumb in a daze. Jason stared at Jordan with his mouth open, he couldn't believe his hero was standing right in front of him. They all stood there in silence for what seemed like an eternity, all unable to find the words to express the weirdness of the situation. Jordan reacted first, he blinked rapidly as he snapped out of his stupor. He glanced towards Angela for a second, before looking back at Jason sincerely. He licked his lip before taking a deep breath "I'm your father Jason" he said solemnly. Jason's eyes grew unbelievably wide as he gasped loudly, his face drained of colour "What?" he mumbled. Jason looked at his mother numbly, he felt as if he was going to vomit as she simply nodded looking at him apologetically. He scratched at his head absentmindedly as he the truth penetrated his skull, he began to breathe more shallowly, anger now breaking through. "I fucking knew it" he roared giving Angela a look of betrayal "How could I have been so goddamn stupid? A random guy called Stephen, really that was the best you could do Mom!". He turned away from Angela and Jordan, his hands gripping at his hat. Jordan remained motionless as Jason turned back to him "So, after 15 years you've decided you give a damn about me. You decided, Hell it may be time to acknowledge my teenage son" . Jason continued to glare at both of them in disgust "I hate both of you." he pointed behind Jordan to Angela "Especially you. I asked you out straight whether he was my Dad years ago, and you told be a barefaced lie". Jason face began to scrunch up in distress, he knew he was about to cry. He turned away from them "Screw you guys, I'm leaving. Don't follow me!" he yelled furiously, bursting out of the room and out of the apartment in a rush of emotion.. Jordan closed his eyes, sighing in anguish. He turned towards Angela who's face was still obscured by her hands "This is your damn fault. Now he thinks I'm some deadbeat Dad who doesn't give a shit" he choked out. He looked at her with his piercing blue eyes filled with loathing, he stepped towards her and leaned in close "I'm done with you. Don't call me, email me, nothing! Don't contact me unless it is something to do with Jason. I'm finished with you. Got it" . Angela felt her chest heave violently as she struggled to suppress a sniffle, she looked at him pleadingly as he moved away from her "Jordan, wait" she called out weakly . He gave one last empty look before exiting the apartment silently. Angela's knee's went from below her, as she collapsed into violent sobs.

Jordan wiped at his eyes when he got into the elevator, he had to hold it together until he got to his hotel. He caught his tormented appearance in the reflection of the mirror, he stared at it impassively, too numb to care. Jordan continued to watch himself in the mirror until the bing of the elevator bell shook him out of his trance. He walked slowly out into the foyer, inhaling deeply as he exited into the street. Jordan was about to hail a cab when he spotted Jason across the road on a bench in the park. His expression was glazed over, as he stared vacantly at the pigeons in front of him, tears running down his cheeks. Jordan smiled slightly in relief, he had a chance to fix this now. He crossed the street hurriedly, knowing if Jason noticed him he'd run off and any chance for reconciliation would be extinguished. Jordan quickly reached him, Jason didn't react till he sat down beside him on the bench. "What part of ,I hate you and don't follow me did you not understand ?" he sniffed audibly ,still trying to sound threatening. Jordan gave him a slight smile "I never was one for doing what I was told, instructions always seemed like a personal challenge" he chuckled. Jason sat up straight on the bench, fixing him with a hard stare "Just leave me alone Catalano". Jordan looked at him stubbornly "No kid, I won't" he said calmly. Jason's nostrils flared as he shook his head in disbelief "What do you want?" he muttered contemptuously. Jordan shrugged his shoulders "To talk I guess." Jason continued to glare at him "To talk. After 15 years of nothing from you, now you want to talk" he crossed his arms and avoided Jordan's eyes. Jordan sighed "Up until last night, I didn't even know you existed Jason." His son looked at him with scorn "You expect me to believe that". Jordan glanced away and turned towards the path in front of the bench "I guess not" he said quietly. He looked back at Jason, knocking his shoulder against Jason's gently he smiled sincerely "Doesn't mean it's not true kid". Jason's glare softened a little as he saw honesty in his father's eyes. "I guess" he sighed grumpily. Jordan smiled broadly, knowing at some level he'd gotten through to him. He leaned forward a little, his face once more serious as he gazed at Jason, his son was still clenching his jaw in anger but he was slowly relaxing. Jordan reached into his pocket and took out a pen and a card, he began to write on it quickly. Jason watched him intrigued by his sudden action, Jordan's eyes suddenly snapped up to meet his inquiring gaze. "Look ,all this is a lot to take in, so whenever you are ready to talk or whatever ,I'm staying at this address at least for another ten days. I understand if you don't visit, but I hope you will". Jordan handed him the address to the hotel as he got up from the bench, he stuck his hands in his pockets looking down at Jason awkwardly. "If you want to get past the security if you do come, the passwords 'Frozen Embryo's " Jordan chuckled to himself. Jason was unable to contain a small ,momentary smile in amusement. "What kind of password is that?" Jason smirked in spite of himself. "It was the name of my first band when I was a kid. Just seemed like a good idea" Jordan grinned at his son "We can't all have awesome names like the 'Whiskey Chasers'" He winked at Jason " I saw your show last night by the way, you were good man." Jason gave him a brief real smile, then turned the card over in his hands. Jordan sighed contentedly "Anyway I'll leave you to contemplate our fate or whatever. It was nice meeting you Mr Jason Chase". Jason nodded earnestly "You too Jordan Catalano". They shared a small smile, then Jordan turned and walked further into the park, looking back to wave goodbye.

It had taken Jason all of one hour to fully process what had happened and decide his course of action. He realised with a start, once he'd gotten over the shock, he already knew what he had to do all along. In reality ,there had never been any other option in his mind. Hell it wasn't everyday you discovered the person you admire most is your father. Truthfully speaking he wasn't just going to let this opportunity pass him by. Maybe on some level he'd always known he was Jordan's kid, it explained a lot of things he'd always found to be strange coincidences. Namely how insanely similar they looked. Jason practically skipped merrily all the way to the subway, smiling all the way to the hotel. Now finally outside the hotel room he was never so frikkin' nervous in his life, the security had barely batted an eyebrow when he'd approached them. Jason breathed in deeply as he raised his hand to knock on the door, the numbers 6277 mocked him as he waited with baited breath. He pulled his hat off his head, wringing it his hands anxiously. The door eventually opened slowly, Robbie Taylor looked at him in amusement. "Jordan, there's a pink cockatoo here at the door that looks like you" he shouted back into the suite. Jason's face flamed a bright red, clashing with his hair, he rubbed his Mohawk self-consciously as he waited. Jordan smiled brilliantly as he saw Jason standing in the doorway awkwardly "Don't mind Robbie, he forgot to take his meds this morning. Come on in" Jordan opened the door wider . Jason flashed him a shy smile as he walked in, Jordan felt a tug upon his heartstrings as he recognized that smile to be the one Angela had given him many times before. He shook his head vigorously, eliminating the feeling from his mind. They stood together in the reception area of the suite for a moment, taking in one another, not really believing what was in front of them. Jordan gave Jason a light punch on the shoulder, not really feeling it appropriate to hug him "I'm glad you came buddy" he said candidly. "Yeah what else have I got to do on a Sunday" Jason replied cheekily. Jordan rolled his eyes, giving him a playful shove they walked in to the couch area of the suite. Jordan cleared his throat as they approached Shane and Robbie "Guys this is Jason" he said simply. Jason gave them a small timid wave "Hi". Shane stood up and shook his hand "It's nice to meet you again Jason" Jason gave him a knowing look, but said nothing. As Jason turned towards one of Jordan's guitars, his young face lighting up in delight, Shane smiled in relief. The worst was over, Jordan had found his son and he was finally free from the burden he'd been carrying for a month. Shane grinned in satisfaction as he watched father and son begin to play and sing together jokily, he knew he'd done the right thing. Though deep within his gut he knew, Jordan and Angela were not done with each other quite yet.


	10. Birthday Blues

**Hey all I finally got round to completing this chapter! I'm unbelievably busy at the moment with College work so the gap between chapters may get longer. I wrote a plot for where this is going and I estimate about another 8 installments minimum. I'll try to complete it before the Summer (I'm ironically heading to the Big Apple provided my Visa goes through!). This chapter may seem like an anticlimax, but really it's a set up for another drama filled episode in the next chapter! Plus I wanted to have some Jordan/Jason interaction. To answer Marion Davis' question :I'm doing a double major of English and Media studies. Hence why I'm so busy, one of my projects has just gone into postproduction, while a 2nd is in preproduction (of which I'm the screenwritter). Anyway hope you enjoy the segment and thanks for the lovely reviews.**

**-RedCatCatalano**

It was a week to the day since the shit hit the fan and despite the heated exchange which marred Jordan and Jason's first meeting, they were now inseparable. Jason had gone home that first night to get some clothes, announcing to Angela that he was staying with Jordan for the foreseeable future. He'd left swiftly afterwards before she could protest. Angela had tried calling both of them, only succeeding in reaching Jason for a terse and brief conversation. After that she had just left them alone. Often it was better to just let people cool down then to force them to forgive you. It amazed Jordan how easily Jason had fitted in with everyone around him, both Shane and Robbie treated him like the little brother they'd never had. Shane especially loved the kid, forever play fighting and messing around. Father and son spent the week just hanging out, it was peculiar how easily they fell into step with one another, they were eerily similar in a lot of ways. They'd spent the first two days just joking around, playing the guitar and singing. After a while when they'd felt ready ,they'd talked a lot, about everything and nothing at all. Jason told Jordan about his friends and Beth, about his life when he'd lived in Queens and what he wanted to be when he left school. Jordan's heart had swelled with pride when he'd heard Jason wanted to be a musician too. Jordan had told him about his past, he didn't spare him the gruesome details of Mikey and Laura Catalano and Jason had listened intently to everything without judgement. Jason was in his element when Jordan had shared the infamous, debauched stories of bands many tours. He soaked up the adventures into his memory, terrified he was dreaming this whole experience. Even though Jordan and Json shared close conversations, there was only one topic both avoided consistently. Angela's name did not come up once. It was like an unspoken agreement between them not to mention her, neither were prepared to approach the obvious quandary they found themselves in.

Jordan often caught himself staring at Jason in wonder, it was a new exciting feeling to him to have someone who he could just love so easily and unconditionally. Normally he was terrible at expressing affection to those around him, but with Jason it was as easy as breathing,. There was just something about knowing that Jason was his, part of his blood and DNA, that made Jordan want to hug him all the time. Jordan had never considered becoming a father or having a family. He'd always thought he'd make a terrible one in view of the model of fatherhood he'd had, but Jordan had discovered once he saw his son, nothing else in his life mattered. From now on his kid was his number one priority. Jason was truly the best of him and someone he could love, that loved him back without question. Soon it was as if they'd never been apart, they could speak to each other without even using words. In spite of this harmonious situation, Jordan had put his foot down and forced Jason got to school on Wednesday. Jason had moaned and complained, groaning that he wanted to spend the rest of the week hanging out, but Jordan was determined he was not going to fall behind in his studies. Jordan knew from experience how easy it was to get distracted and find yourself overwhelmed by work. Jason eventually relented when Jordan had promised he could still stay in the hotel with him and the band, provided he did his homework. Jordan went to collect him everyday for the rest of the week after school in the limo, much to the jealousy of Joey. As a reward for sticking to his side of the deal, Jordan whisked him off to courtside seats at the NBA play-off on Friday night. They'd gleefully cheered on the Knicks with Shane, all having an excellent time together. Unfortunately the press had caught wind of this, how could they not have with Jason's bright 'pomegranate' hair. Yet neither Jason or Jordan had cared when they'd seen the picture in the gossip magazines the next day, somebody was bound to find out about Jason anyway.

Which was why on Sunday afternoon they'd decided to forgo their usual attempts at not being spotted and just enjoy the warm April afternoon at the zoo. Jordan had always loved the zoo since he was a child, not that he openly admitted it though. The place was relatively quiet that afternoon and what people were walking around kept a respectful distance, some politely asked for autographs which Jordan readily obliged cheerfully. It was just past two o'clock as they stood by the penguin enclosure, silently observing the animals as they ate ice cream cones. Jordan watched Jason for a moment, his son was staring down vacantly at the penguins. He was totally lost in thought. Jordan bit his lip for a second before clearing his throat, Jason snapped to attention and looked back at him with interest. Jordan licked his ice cream thoughtfully for moment, knowing the subject he was about approach was one which had to be handled right. "You know what today is, don't you?" he said calmly, Jason raised an eyebrow at him smirking "Eh Sunday. April 20th, a sunny day". Jordan rolled his eyes at him smiling, he knew Jason was going to give him sarcastic answer "All right smart ass, quit it. You know what I'm talking about". Jason continued to smirk for a brief time, he leaned over the bar of the enclosure as his expression lost it's light heartedness. He frowned as he bit into the cone, "Yeah, I know today's my Mom's birthday" he mumbled. Jordan moved in closer to him, leaning further over the barrier too, he didn't look at him as he spoke "Don't you think you should maybe go home to see her?" he said without emotion. "And why should I do that?" Jason replied indignantly still frowning and biting more forcefully into the ice cream cone. "Well first of all, you have to go home sooner or later, you know I'm flying to Europe for the final part of the World tour tomorrow night" .Jordan looked out in front of him unhappily, truthfully he didn't want to go. "Why can't I got with you guys?" Jason said sulkily. Jordan turned to him seriously "You can't just leave for month Jason, you've got school and what about Beth". Jason pouted visibly and leaned his head upon his arms moodily. "I don't want you to leave. This has been unbelievable and I don't want it to end" Jason said huffily. Jordan gave him a warm smile "C'mon Jay, it's not forever. I'll be back for the film premiere and your birthday" . Jason's sulk persisted and he leaned down further on to his arms, he looked at Jordan dejectedly. Jordan sighed and slung his arm over Jason's downcast shoulders "I'll tell you what. When I get back, I want you to help me go hunt for an apartment." Jason looked at him in surprise, he raised his head up again suddenly ."Wait, what?" a smile began to spread across his sweet face. "Oh did I not tell you I'm moving to New York" Jordan said feigning disinterest as he moved away slightly, finishing the last of his ice cream. "Permanently?" Jason gasped hopefully. Jordan shrugged his shoulders casually "Well yeah! I've been a nomad for so long, it seems as good a time as any to put down some roots". Jason looked at him in disbelief still smiling awestruck, he suddenly launched forward and caught Jordan in a tight bear hug. Jordan laughed as tried to move his pinned arms to reciprocate the hug, resulting in him patting Jason lightly on the back, as his son remained clinging to him closely. Jason suddenly released him and stepped away in embarrassment, he cleared his throat awkwardly as he looked down at his shoes ."Yeah apartment hunting would be cool!" he said uncomfortably as he glanced back up at him. Jordan gave him a light punch on the shoulder smiling "Well it's settled then".

They moved off away from the penguins in silence and walked towards the polar bears. Jordan stuck his hands in his pockets as he braced himself to begin the next thing he felt needed to be discussed, he stop and looked at Jason earnestly "Jason, you need to forgive your Mom" . Jason shook his head and looked off, avoiding his father's searching gaze . "Do you forgive her? Cos if you don't it's a little hypocritical to ask me to" he met Jordan's eyes with hard stare. Jordan opened his mouth to answer before closing it again as he exhaled loudly. He turned a little away from Jason, he chewed on his thumb nail as he looked at him pensively " What's going on between your mom and me is…well….it's different." his expression became glum for a moment "She may have lied to you, but she did it for the right reasons." Jordan rubbed the back of his head distractedly as he continued "I've seen the pictures kid, you know she loves more than life itself. Angela did what she thought was best for you". Jason's face softened as he scratched at his head, mirroring Jordan's action, "I guess" he grumbled. Jason walked over to a bench and sat down moodily watching Jordan for a moment, the older Catalano was noticeably ill at ease. Jordan didn't follow him over immediately, but stood staring into the polar bear area not really registering what he was seeing. "Why is it different for you? I mean…. why is it harder?" Jason asked quietly. Jordan turned back to him, biting his lip he wandered over to the bench and sat down. "I don't know if you knew this, but me and Angela were kinda seeing each other for a month before the shit hit the fan". Jason's eyebrows rose in surprise almost to his hair line "That explains why she dumped Krakow" he laughed. It was now Jordan's turn to look surprised. "Eh what?". Jason gave him an arrogant smirk "Oh she neglected to mention that to you too" he sat back into the bench still looking at Jordan haughtily "Brian and her were together for like three months, but it wasn't serious. Well… not on Mom's part anyway, I think she just wanted the companionship really". Jason paused as Jordan looked at him grumpily "I wouldn't be too offended by her not telling you, she kept it a secret for like a month." Jason suddenly smiled "It's funny cos Brian's with Rayanne Graff now. I heard their going strong". Jordan snorted with laughter "Krakow and Graff, now that's a unique combination". His laughter quickly died as he thoughts became serious again, he didn't say anything for a long while as he stared straight ahead. Jason bumped his shoulder against Jordan's ,trying to get his attention "You still haven't explained why you forgiving her is so much harder". Jordan frowned for a second before talking, his nostrils flared as he tried to remain calm in his reply " Because I thought this time was our second chance, that we could make it work . It's like we gave each other a blank slate to start over" Jason could not help noticing the hostility in his father's voice "Maybe I was naïve to believe we could put the past behind us, that'd we could stop hurting one another. I guess I was wrong" he looked at Jason. "The thing you must understand kid, is your Mom and I have always had a….complicated relationship" he laughed dryly. " All things considered, I just can't get past it. I wouldn't have cared as much about the lying if it was anyone else but her." Jordan sighed. Jason looked down at the ground for a moment "It is always the ones that we love most, that hurt us the greatest" he said quietly with reverence. Jordan turned around to face him ,smiling affectionately "Sometimes your so damn perceptive, I question how the hell we share the same DNA" . Jason returned the smile "I'm only insightful when it doesn't apply to myself. I mean, how the hell did I not realize we're related". They stayed smiling at one another laughing at their stupidity, Jason suddenly glanced down his face growing sombre "Do you love her Dad?". Jordan was taken aback for a moment both by Jason calling him 'Dad' and his son's direct question. He opened his mouth to speak, hesitating visibly "I've been asking myself that question everyday, and I still don't know the answer". Jason nodded, he understood Jordan's indecision, he didn't push the issue and remained silent. Jordan breathed deeply, his good humour returning "Enough with the misery, I want to go see the exotic birds. I hope the cockatoo's don't get to excited over your hair". Jason rolled his eyes at his dad as they both rose from the bench "It's your damn fault I did this to myself, I can't help if you're a bad influence" he retorted insolently. Jordan shook his head in bewilderment, he caught his son in a playful head lock and rubbed his hair good-naturedly. "Jay you have to learn from my mistakes, next time I do something stupid don't copy it okay" he teased. Jason grinned up at him and they continued on in happiness, glad the awkward conversation was over.

If Angela was ever to list the favourite birthdays she'd ever had ,she was certain that this one would never feature on it. Her mood was low to say the least, her mother had gone to visit Angela's elderly grandparents and had missed her flight back to New York due to a flat tyre. Furthermore the two people Angela most wanted to see were both furious with her and neither male was talking to her either. True, her friends were coming to see her and have dinner, but she was still down in the dumps over Jordan and Jason. She sat by the window of her apartment watching the afternoon traffic below, wondering where they were, wishing she could just see them smile. The image of their hate filled expression haunted her mind, but deep down she knew she deserved it. Jordan was right, what she'd done was virtually unforgivable and the prison she found herself within was torturous to say the least. The buzzer in her study awoke her from her thoughts, she picked up the receiver slowly "Hello" she said unenthusiastically. "Hey Angelika, let us up." Rayanne's cheerful voice begged in the background before George the doorman could speak. Angela smiled to herself, she could feel herself perking up instantly "George, let them up" she said brightly. Moments later Rayanne Graff burst through the front door enveloping her in a massive hug "How are you today my birthday girl?" she said giddily. "I'm fine" Angela said unconvincingly, behind Rayanne Angela saw Brian Krakow enter uncomfortably, followed by Rickie and his boyfriend Jack. Angela had forgiven Rickie long ago, but their relationship still hadn't quite recovered, he gave her a weak smile as he carried bags of presents and food into the kitchen. "Here you stay with Mr Sociable while I go help Rickie and Jack set up in the kitchen" Rayanne said cheerfully looking at Angela curiously. Rayanne followed Rickie and Jack into the other room, she began to sing the theme song to 'Sesame Street' loudly. Angela shook her head snorting at her best friends antics. Brian approached her smirking "Feeling old today Chase?" he said tactlessly, their relationship had returned to normal almost immediately after the break-up much to Angela's relief. Angela narrowed her eyes at him while grinning "You're so funny Krakow, subtle as a brick as always ". Brian winked at her "You know social etiquette was never my strong suit". She rolled her eyes at him "You could at least pretend to be normal for ,like, five minutes". Brian grinned "Now where's the fun in that" he said in mock seriousness. Angela arched her eyebrow at him, before giving him a light shove "C'mon let's get into the kitchen before Rayanne attempts to make pancakes or something. It took me weeks to get the batter off the roof the last time". Brian sighed comically as he looked at Angela pitifully "Please tell me again exactly why I'm dating her ?" he laughed. Angela grinned "Because she's good for you, you need someone to loosen you up". Brian smirked sardonically "Yeah she's good for me, like a hurricane of destruction!". As they came into the kitchen Angela could see Brian was just kidding himself if he thought he wasn't totally besotted by Graff. Rayanne bounded over to him when they entered the room ,giving him a big kiss on the cheek as she wrapped her arms around him. Angela noticed as she did this, Brian's eyes lit up and a goofy smile spread across his face. "I hope Krakow wasn't being his usual socially retarded self and insulting you out there was he" Rayanne said jokingly, looking at Angela mischievously as she hung onto him still. Brian gave his girlfriend a fake offended look "Oh yeah, I'm the rude one". It was clear Brian was totally fooling himself if he believed he wasn't under Rayanne's spell. Angela smiled giddily at them, she never thought she could be so happy for her friends. "Yeah you are the rude one, I can get away with being blunt because I'm adorable. And you…. You're passable at best". Brian cocked an eyebrow at her "Passable! Gee thanks, why do you bother with me then?" he said mockingly. Rayanne sighed, looking at him cheekily "Honestly, I really don't know".

Angela gave Rickie a knowing look as Brian and Rayanne continued their little game of cat and mouse, oblivious to everyone else. Rickie and Jack smiled back at Angela as they chopped up vegetables, it amused them all how well Graff and Krakow fit together. It was a combination of two opposing personalities that no one would have predicted to work. Rickie and Jack had been dating roughly a year and Angela was sure it wasn't going too be long before they all took a trip to Boston for the boys to get married. Jack was the head chef in a hip restaurant in L.A where he and Rickie had met one night, hence he was taking the lead in the dinner preparations. As Brian and Rayanne remained arguing, Angela walked over to the cooks "So what's on the menu?". Jack gave her a flash of his perfect white teeth as he smiled, his hazel eyes sparkling "All you need to know is it's going to be the best thing you've ever tasted Ms Chase". Angela gave him a sceptical look as she smirked "That's a bold statement Mr Roux. You know my father was a brilliant cook so I have very high expectations". Rickie tried to hide his smile as he placed the sliced carrots into a bowl, Jack wouldn't be able to help retorting in playfulness at Angela's blatant attack on his ego. "Well Angelface you've never had a real French feast prepared by the great Jacques Jean Roux" Jack grinned broadly "So get ready to be amazed." Angela stuck her tongue out at him and took a piece of carrot out of the bowl "You better be able to put your money where your mouth is Roux." Angela bit into it giving him a haughty grin, Rickie laughed at them quietly. Jack winked at him "Angela, you may be the master of the written word, but when it comes to the kitchen I don't need to make petty bets. I am the undisputed maestro of food.".

Angela Chase had to admit hours later when the meal was finished, Jack hadn't been lying. It had been the best dinner she'd ever had. Everybody sat far back into their chairs, their stomachs full to the brim. "Oh my god Jack what did put in that chocolate cake, it was better than sex." Rayanne moaned in ecstasy, Brian pouted as she said this. Rayanne ignored him "Seriously if I wasn't so damn full I'd totally jump you right now, I don't care if you're gay." Jack laughed as he squeezed Rickie's hand "Thanks Rayanne. I'm glad you liked it". Rickie leaned over and kissed him on the cheek "My baby's so talented isn't he" Rickie said proudly. Angela sighed contentedly as she stretched her arms over head "I'm sorry I doubted you chef, that was the best birthday dinner ever." Jack shot her an arrogant smirk "I'm pleased you enjoyed it." A comfortable silence descended across the table as they all took a moment to enjoy the feeling of the relaxed atmosphere. Angela looked across the table from her seat at head of the table and a sudden sadness overcame her for moment. She unexpectedly felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness as she watched her friends in the candlelight, Rayanne was leaning against Brian's shoulder as he casually slung his arm around her, while Rickie gave Jack a small ,romantic kiss. For the first time in a long time, Angela was totally alone amongst the couples, her heart ached for Jordan as she watched their simple exchanges of affection. Brian was the one to notice her bleak expression "You alright Angela." he said with concern. Angela shook her head as she snapped out of her trance "Emmm..yeah I'm fine" she sighed unconvincingly. Rayanne sat up straighter in her chair away from Brian, she placed her hands upon Angela's "You sure Chase" she softly. Angela shook her head, unable to hide the hurt beneath the surface. "Jason still with Jordan?" Rayanne asked still holding Angela's hand. Angela nodded exhaling harshly "Yeah, he hasn't talked to me since Monday morning either". Rickie and Brian exchanged a pained expression but stayed silent. "Don't worry he won't be mad for long. Plus Jason's going to have to come home soon anyway, Echelon's flying to London tomorrow night" Rayanne said cheerfully. Angela shrugged her shoulders "I know" she mumbled. Angela began to play with the small crumbs on her plate with her fork, her mood did not improve. "You talked to Jordan at all" Brian asked without thinking, Rayanne elbowed him in the ribs scowling at him. Angela looked at Brian blankly "No. He said and I quote 'What you did is undefendable and I cannot forgive you'. So we not exactly on great terms" she bitterly looked at her plate again. Rayanne scoffed at this "Oh yeah ,as if he's never done something that hurt you. I mean you totally forgave him over the whole….." Rayanne didn't finish the sentence ,feeling suddenly self-conscious as Brian visibly tensed beside her. Angela did not seem bothered by Rayanne dragging up the past. "I may have forgiven him, but I never forgot." Angela took a long sip from her wine glass "Anyway, that was a drunken mistake. What I did, that was a betrayal. So…now he hates me, and I deserve it" Angela lay her head against her hand looking away dejectedly. Rickie looked at her in sympathy, as he opened his mouth to say something reassuring, a loud knock came from the front door to fill the awkward silence. Angela raised her head as she looked out of the room in interest. "Mom let me in I forgot my key" Jason's muffled voice said through the door a few seconds later, barely being heard all the way in the dinning room. A huge grin spread across Angela's face as she jumped to her feet. Brian rose quickly and ran ahead of her to the hall while Rickie, Rayanne and Jack shared an uneasy look.

Jordan stood beside Jason in the small hallway, one hand held a black guitar case while the other was near his face. Jordan bit at his thumb as he stood there nervously, he didn't know how he was going to react when Angela opened the door. Truth be told Jordan was still furious and nowhere near ready to forgive her. He was taken aback as he saw Brian Krakow standing in the doorway in front of Angela. The Brian Krakow he saw before him shocked him, Brian had filled out a lot and his once clownish blonde curls were short and well groomed. Brian it seemed had been a late bloomer to handsomeness, but had reached it all the same. A huge smile broke across Jordan's face as he rushed over and shook his long lost friends hand. "Brain ,Long time no see" Jordan said enthusiastically. Brian rolled his eye's at the long forgotten nickname but smiled warmly as he shook Jordan's hand. "I know! I haven't talked to you since the night Echelon played the Senior Prom". Jordan released his hand and grinned "Wow that was an age ago, you know Cherski came up to me that night and told me to get a real job!". Brian and Jordan laughed loudly "Seriously, that's hilarious!". Jason watched the exchange between Jordan and Brian in bewilderment. Behind Brian Angela was growing increasingly irritated by him blocking her view out the door. "What's ironic is Sharon is now married with, like, seven kids and blissfully happy being a stay at home Mom" Brian smirked. "Really I always thought she'd be a Senator or something by now" Jordan said dryly. Angela cleared her throat loudly interrupting their little reunion "I'm sorry to stop this little friendly tête-à-tête but Krakow could you, like, move!" Angela huffed impatiently. Brian looked back at her sheepishly and moved a little to the right, Angela went to go out to Jordan but Jason stepped forward first. "Happy Birthday Mom" he said half-heartedly handing her a stuffed animal he'd gotten from the zoo, Angela smiled as she saw it was a monkey. She'd always called Jason her little monkey man when he was small, because he always climbed everything he could, from tree's to fire escapes. "Thanks Jason" she gave him a kiss on his cheek, he blushed a little before stepping into the apartment, he reached back out for a second to take the guitar case off his father. Brian took Angela's momentary distraction to avoid an obviously looming thorny situation ."So Rayanne and Rickie are inside, do want to come in and say hi or something?". Jordan frowned for a second as he hesitated, Brian gave him an encouraging smile "C'mon Catalano, just for five minutes. Then you can goodbye to Jason properly". Jordan shrugged "Ok, why not?", he crossed the threshold past Krakow and Angela, not once looking at her. Angela shot Brian a glare filled with contempt when Jordan was out of sight, Brian just sighed and shut the door firmly.

As Jordan walked towards the dinning room Jack sat up in his chair straighter as a guttural moan came escaped his closed mouth. "Oh my God Rickie he's gorgeous" he whispered breathily "I think I may faint". Rickie looked at his boyfriend in exasperation "And what! I'm chopped liver" he pouted. Jack patted his face and gave him a saucy grin "You know I love you, but I just don't have time to placate your ego right now sweetie." Jordan ambled over to the table awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. Jack gave him a flirtatious half smile, Rickie rolled his eyes but gave Jordan a welcoming grin too. "Hey Catalano, how are you?" Rayanne said brightly staring up at him. Jordan smirked slightly "I'm good Graff. How are you?". Behind him Brian strolled nonchalantly into the room and sat beside Rayanne. Angela continued on further into the kitchen carrying plates and cutlery, a stormy expression set across her face. Rickie stood up and pointed after her "I'll just help Angela in the kitchen for a moment." Brian nodded turning his attention back to Jordan "I'm great, just finished rehearsals for my first movie role that's going into production next week, so I'm majorly excited." Rayanne grinned. Jordan raised his eyebrows in surprise, he opened his mouth to congratulate her when Jack suddenly spoke. "We haven't been formerly introduced. I'm Jack, Rickie's boyfriend" he leaned across the table to shake his hand. Jordan gave him an odd look as Jack gave him an inviting smile, he took his hand and shook it "I'm Jordan. Nice to meet you". "Oh believe me the pleasures all mine Mr Catalano" Jack said huskily, Rayanne snorted loudly unable to contain her laughter as Jordan shifted uncomfortably. "Eh….thanks, I guess." Jordan said in bafflement. He shook off his embarrassment as he returned his interest back to Brian and Rayanne "So….what's this I hear about you two dating." Everyone in the room grinned at the weirdness of the situation. "Yeah, someone had to teach Krakow how to relate to humans, so I took one for the team" Rayanne said with pretend sincerity.

In the kitchen Angela was furiously pushing plates into the dishwasher, Rickie stood beside her handing her knives and forks looking at her sympathetically. "Sometimes I could kill Brian, he just invited him in without any consideration for my feelings." Angela growled through her gritted teeth. Rickie sighed audibly "If it makes you feel better, I could kill Brian too. Jack practically came in his pants when Jordan walked in." Angela's dark mood slipped a little as she chuckled, shaking her head at Rickie. "I mean why does that guy have to be so damn hot and charming at the same time. Jack's probably in there now drooling like an idiot" .Rickie crossed his arms across his chest in annoyance as a loud laugh came from the other room, it was very obviously Jack. Angela rubbed his arm tenderly "I can assure there's no need to be jealous. Jordan no threat to you, he'll probably get so embarrassed by Jack's attention, he'll offend your very sensitive other half by ignoring him." Rickie kissed her hand ,his frustration slowly disappearing "You're probably right. Forgive me for hijacking your angst, how you holding up?". Angela sighed dramatically "I'll be fine, c'mon let's stop hiding in here and just get this over with". Rickie nodded and put his arm around her shoulders sweetly as they walked out of the kitchen. "…and then we went to this awful restaurant, where the waiter decided to like strip beside our table. I don't know why but we bonded over the whole weird, horrific experience" Brian laughed loudly as Rayanne hid her face in her hands in fits of giggles. Jordan noticeably stiffened as Angela walked in and returned to her seat at the other end of the table. Rickie sat back beside Jack and took his hand in his, smiling warmly at his boyfriend now no longer under the influence of the green-eyed monster. Angela feigned disinterest in Jordan's presence standing edgily at the other end of the room, she turned to Brian "What are you talking about?" she said in good spirits. Brian tried to suppress his giggles enough to reply "Just how bad mine and Rayanne's first date was." A huge smile instantly filled her face as she remembered what Rayanne told her. Jordan watched her in fascination, unable to stop his heart from skipping a beat as he saw her bright smile. He managed to prevent himself from smiling in return, instead his scowl grew deeper. Angela's smile fell as she caught his eye.

Jason whistled loudly as he came into the room, he sat down and he reached over to the cake, breaking off a piece. He shoved it all into his mouth, before reaching for more. "Jason use a damn plate for the love of God" Angela snapped at him. Jason shrugged "Sorry it's so damn good. Jack you're amazing" he said with a full mouth. Jordan bit his lip trying not to smirk at his son, Jack blew Jason a kiss in gratitude. "So did you get a new guitar or something cause I don't think I've seen that case before" Brian asked with interest. "Not exactly. It's Jordan's, he said I could hold onto it as like an insurance policy" Jason grinned. "I said he could have it until I came back from Europe. As a guarantee to come see him" Jordan smirked gently. Angela looked at him in surprise, she was pleased though at his thoughtfulness. "Don't you think it's unwise to give a fourteen year old an expensive guitar to look after. Even if it's an 'insurance policy'. No offence Jay" Brian said sardonically, winking at Jason. Jordan laughed slightly "Nah, it's more a guitar with sentimental value anyway. Do you remember my old black fender?". Angela clenched her jaw, Jordan had given Jason the guitar he'd written 'Red' on. Of all the instruments he owned, he'd given Jason that one, maybe just to spite her. "Yeah I remember that one, Tino tried to pee in it the night of your first concert with Echelon" Rickie laughed. Jason's face screwed up in disgust as everyone burst out laughing "Ewww some guy stuck his junk in the guitar I've been playing all this week". Jordan threw his head back and sniggered loudly "No, don't worry he didn't get anyway near it. Shane tackled him before he got to the guitar." Rayanne sighed sadly as the laughter died slowly "Good old Tino, God I miss him". Jordan breathed out deeply, he patted her on the head gently for a second "Yeah, me too Graff". A poignant silence descended across the room and everyone was lost in their thoughts, remembering the great soul that had been Tino. They stayed quiet for a while as the flickering candles sent strange shadows against the walls. Angela watched Jordan secretly, while he stared expressionlessly at the flame of the candles, the light making his eyes shine in the dark. The hush was disturbed by the chiming of the grandfather clock in the living room, the bells rang out loudly announcing the time. Jordan looked at his cell phone "Wow it's ten already, I better be getting back." Jason pouted at him in displeasure "Our flight got changed to 9am so I have to pack". Jason rose to his feet still sulking "I'll walk to you to the door". Jordan looked around the table "It was nice seeing you all again, good luck with your movie Rayanne." he gave Brian a cheeky grin "Make sure she behaves Krakow ,alright!". Brian chuckled as Rayanne shot him a withering look "Will do Jordan." Jordan then turned to Rickie and Jack "It was cool to meet you Jack, I hope you treat Vasquez well, he's a great kid". Rickie blushed a little as he said this "Don't worry I'm in good hands" he said gently. Jordan gave him a friendly grin "Alright then I better go so…..see you". Before he turned to leave he gave Angela a small, brief smile, she nodded back also smiling for a split second. He and Jason then strolled unhurriedly out towards the hall. Rickie caught Angela's eye and motioned with his head in the same direction the boys had left, Angela knew instantly he was telling her to follow them. Angela stood up readily and strode confidently after them.

Jason couldn't look Jordan in the eye as they stood either side of the entrance, his head hung low as he struggled to hide his hurt. Jordan reached out and placed his hand on Jason's shoulder "Buddy don't look so down, you know I'm coming back soon" he said sympathetically. Jason bobbed his head, agreeing reluctantly "I know, but I'll still miss you". Jordan pulled him into an clumsy hug "I'll miss you too Jay. I promise I'll get you something epic for your birthday to make up for it ok". Jason sniffed as he was unable to stop the tears from falling "You swear" he said faintly against Jordan's shoulder. "Oh course, you're holding my favourite guitar hostage" Jordan laughed gently. When Angela appeared behind Jason with her eyes shining, Jordan let go of him awkwardly. Jason cleared his throat humiliated by his tears, he wiped at his eyes furiously. Jordan stared at his feet "So… you have my number and my e-mail address, don't be a stranger Jason. Alright!" .Jason smirked "Maybe you can meet Beth when you come back". Jordan winked "Definitely". Jason gave his father one last look before going back inside, he ran immediately up the stairs to his room. Angela knew he was still very upset as she watched him go. As she gazed back at Jordan she saw he was biting at his thumb pacing slightly, a sure fire sign he was uneasy about something. Angela stepped out into the hall to him, she stuck her hands into her back pockets and gave him a shy smile "It seems you and Jason had a good week". Jordan shrugged, glancing at her impassively "Yeah we did. He's a great kid". Angela's smile grew wider in pride "I know. Sometimes I can't believe he's my son. Partly because he's so like you". Jordan remained aloof "Yeah, Shane thought so too" he said jadedly looking away from her, his dormant rage nearly rising to the surface. Angela felt her momentary happiness dissipate as she realised that Jordan's anger and resentment had not diminished in the last week. "Anyway I've got to go, tell Jason I'll call him tomorrow night" Jordan said simply as he moved towards the elevator. Angela looked at him desperately "Jordan wait" she called. Jordan held the doors open, staring at her antagonistically "What?" he said moodily. Angela's voice broke as she looked at him anxiously "Are you ever going to forgive me? Because we have to work something out Jordan, for his sake." Jordan grimaced at her "I'll be civil to you for him, but nothing has changed between us Angela". He pressed the button on the elevator and he stared at her blankly as the doors closed slowly. Angela's heart hit the floor as the doors closed completely, shutting him out of her life. She walked numbly back into her friends, no one asked what had happened outside. They knew by the look on her face it was not good news.

Jordan entered room 6277 walking with forceful conviction. Shane was shoving clothes into his suitcase without any concern or care. "Hey man, you ok?" he said with understanding. "Yeah I'm fine, Jason cried a little but he's ok. It's only a month anyway." Shane sighed, Jordan was avoiding the obvious question that Shane had actually asked. "And Angela?" Shane added pointedly. Jordan clenched his jaw "What about her?" he said confrontationally. Shane arched his eyebrow at him and gave him an exasperated expression "Forget it man. Don't tell me then." Jordan pouted and sat down on the couch grumpily "Look, I just reiterated I wanted nothing to do with her ok." Shane smirked faintly 'I wonder how long that'll last' he thought sarcastically. Jordan lay his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes, blocking out the slight feeling of guilt that rose within him. It was possible he was being too harsh. Jordan sat up suddenly "Say, do you still have Amy Flynn's sister Jodie's number?". Shane glanced him in uncertainty "Yeah why?". Jordan gave him a wolfish grin "Well I was thinking, maybe she could hook us up when we get to London. If you catch my drift". Shane eyes grew wide "Do you mean, like, hookers or something?". Jordan narrowed his eyes at him "No not hookers dumbass, just, I don't know. Friendly company." Shane grinned "So high class hookers". Jordan rolled his eyes at him "No. Just I need some kind of date for this premiere next month and a temporary girlfriend might not be a bad thing". Shane grinned evilly "So this is a revenge mission, that's low even for you". Jordan scratched at his head as he closed his eyes again "It's not revenge, not really. I just need to get Angela Chase out of my brain is all". Shane looked at him pitifully 'Why do I get the feeling this plan is going to fail horribly' he thought. "All right Catalano, as long as there's girls I'm in!" Shane said enthusiastically. The two best friends stayed in silence as an uneasy feeling of foreboding overcame them, maybe this was not a good idea.

** Preview: The premiere will be a major angst ridden event!**


	11. Checkmate

**Hey to all my readers! Sorry it's taken this long to update but I've been insanely busy. As a reward for your patient this is another long chapter. I really enjoyed writing this one so I hope you like it. It's full of angst as per usual, Jordan in particularly is being an ass. Anyway I'll update ASAP. Feel free to review. I love people commenting even if it's negative. Until next time**

**Adios**

**-RedCatCatalano**

Jason Chase stared at himself in the mirror, he pulled at the dark blue suit jacket as he checked his appearance with close scrutiny. He felt deeply uncomfortable being this dressed up. Yet, due to the fact that this was the most important night in his mother's career he was putting her needs ahead of his own. Jason couldn't really complain about his attire. True, though he had to wear a fancy new pair of pants and shirt, Angela had allowed him to keep his favourite black DC's instead of dress shoes. His once striking Mohawk was 'sleeping' for the night, the hair on either side had grown quite considerably, meaning the carefully combed and gelled flat Mohawk made him look almost suave and sophisticated. Especially now it was back to it's natural chocolate brown. The things he did for the sake of his mother. Grudgingly he had to admit, he did look quite handsome.

Jason patted at his hair self-consciously, he was bringing Beth along as a date to the premiere after party tonight and he was frankly a little nervous at the prospect. This would be their first official outing as a proper couple and he was terrified his parent's recent rocky relationship would ruin the formal introductions . While he had been in almost daily contact with his father, either by email or on Skype, Jason knew Angela and Jordan had not spoken in weeks. This fact worried him more than any nervousness he had about impressing Beth .Particularly because Jordan had been on a bit of a 'man whore' bender since he went to Europe. From the night Jordan had landed in London, he'd been publicly caught with several prominent young ladies all over the continent. It seemed the usually private Jordan had given a carte blanch to any passing paparazzi to capture him in some very intimate moments, without much care about who published the pictures. Jason was a little peeved by this to say the least but he was too excited by the prospect of seeing his Dad tonight to start another argument about it. He could lecture him on the finer points of public etiquette and childish revenge ploys tomorrow morning since he was staying over in his hotel again. They were going apartment hunting in the afternoon.

Jason took one final tentative breath and walked out of the bathroom. Outside his mother stood patiently waiting for him and honestly Jason had never seen her look so beautiful. Her dark blonde mane was delicately pinned up into an intricate style, while her simple make-up brought the deep green tones of her eyes. She wore an elegant cream dress which came to just below her knee, she gave Jason a proud smile when she saw him. "Oh Jason, you look so handsome. I really love that Jacket ." Jason stuck his hand in his pockets and gave her a half smile "Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself Mom." Angela's smile grew as he said this. Patty came down the stairs behind them in her best suit and sighed contentedly "Is everyone ready to go?" she said with glee. Jason and Angela nodded enthusiastically and took each others hand. All three shared an thrilled grin before walking out the door to the elevator.

Though the premiere was only taking place a few blocks away downtown, the producers had insisted that Angela and her guests should arrive in style. As the Chase's exited their apartment building, a beautiful black Mercedes stood outside waiting for them. Patty and Jason cooed excitedly, conversing candidly with the friendly chauffeur while they shifted restlessly against the leather seats. Angela sat tensely in the back of the luxurious limousine, if she was being totally honest she was not looking forward to this night at all. This was supposed to be the high point of her entire professional life, but all she could think about was what skeevy, sycophantic ,hoe-bag Jordan was going to bring with him tonight. She had wanted so badly to ban him from the screening, but according to the legal contracts etc, she couldn't. It was because, just like her books were flying off the shelves thanks to the film, Echelon were also riding the crest of a wave in their sales. The inclusion of the band on the soundtrack had brought untold rewards. Therefore any personal reasons for prohibiting said Catalano were trumped by the fact that Echelon were hauling in the money for all the interested parties. 'Red' had gone platinum in several different countries and no matter where she went, Angela was bound to hear that damn song. To add insult to injury, his fucking band were going to be performing at the after party.

All of this curiosity in 'Driving Lessons' and 'Red' had intensified in last month, because of by no small favour to Jordan's reckless decision to bring her dirty little secret into the public eye. I mean, how could she deny she'd ever had a relationship with Jordan Catalano when he was visibly flaunting their kid in public. The Oprah fiasco had been embarrassing enough ,but now Jordan and Jason had been pictured together, she couldn't pretend anymore her books weren't about their early relationship. Any interviews that had been scheduled between the photo's in the Enquirer coming out and now ,had been warned to stay away from this subject under serious threat of legal action . The revelation had done wonders for Jason's social life, but had irreparably damaged Angela's reputation. Everyone wanted know all the sordid details, how close was the book to the reality? The questions in the press had all been the same in the last month, debated on blogs and gossip websites, What was her reaction to Jordan's newly found appetite for young socialites and rising stars? Angela did not want to answer that question. She didn't even want to think about what her answer to that question was, because frankly she didn't know.

Angela knew what Catalano was up to and she was not going to play his little game. No she wasn't going to stoop to his level. Angela was done grovelling, she was finished with being sorry for something she hadn't done in malice. Angela was mad. Enraged he would debase himself so much, I mean what kind of message was he sending his son? Love them and leave them with their pants around their ankles, while you move onto the next victim. What the hell was his plan anyway, see how many STD's he could collect from the upper classes of society? All it did was prove to her that the old, emotionally stunted Jordan still lay underneath the newer apparently 'Mature' Jordan. Angela looked over at Jason, he was smiling broadly as he and Patty looked out the darkened windows into the city. Angela had to grudgingly concede as she watched them, Jordan's actions had not affected her son's relationship with women, point and case was him begging to bring Beth tonight. Clearly he was more like her than she'd originally realised. If Angela was brutally honest, her objections to Jordan's company may not have anything to do with anyone but her. His juvenile behaviour was a direct assault upon her pride. But she was not jealous by any stretch of the imagination. No ,that was one thing she was never ever going to admit to. Even if the green eyed monster was barely being kept at bay in her unconscious thoughts.

As the limo approached the movie theatre the roar from the crowd sent butterflies rushing around Angela's stomach. All thoughts of murdering Jordan Catalano excited her brain ,as a distinct feeling of terror overcame her senses. Jason turned towards her and gave her a giddy grin "You ready Mom?". Angela gulped loudly, she took a deep breath and nodded unsurely . The door of the car opened and the bright flashes of the photographers bulbs filled the enclosed space. Patty got out first, she waved to the calling photographers. Jason reached over to his mother and took her hand in his, Angela looked at him in surprise. "C'mon. The anticipation's always more scary than the actual event" he smiled at her. Angela gave his hand a kiss and stepped out of the door still holding onto him loosely. She gave the waiting paparazzi her biggest smile as their flash bulbs blinded her. The noise was deafening but she met it readily. This was her moment to shine.

Angela almost collapsed as they finally made it into the safe confines of the quieter theatre. "Wow that was intense" she gasped. Jason nodded in a daze, Patty's eyes were wide with exhilaration. "In all my life ,I've never been so close to wetting myself in public as just then." Patty exclaimed in a haze of delirium. Angela snorted loudly "Mom!". Outside by the red carpet, unimaginably loud screaming started. Angela, Jason and Patty looked out the small entrance in bewilderment, they very quickly discovered the cause. Jordan Catalano was standing nonchalantly by the crowds signing autographs, a cocky smirk upon his lips. The girls by the barriers were hysterical, clawing forward to touch him. Many of them were just shrieking, too overcome by his presence to do anything else. Angela felt a guttural moan of pleasure uncontrollably escape her lips, much to her embarrassment when Patty looked at her knowingly. She couldn't help it, despite her hatred of Jordan, he looked unbelievable tonight. His suit was finely cut and was totally flattering to his lean frame, the dark grey material made the colour of his eyes literally shine in the dark. Angela tried to quell the warm, aching feeling that was spreading from her abdomen to the rest of her body, particularly to the region which lay just below her abdomen. She hoped the heat did not reach her face and form an obvious blush, that was the last thing she needed. It was vitally important she remained aloof and indifferent towards him.

Angela's heart sank when he turned to a small, gorgeous, blonde woman a couple of feet behind him and wrapped his arm around her waist. The photographers snapped pictures faster than the speed of light, Jordan waved pleasantly as he and the woman walked the final few yards to the theatre entrance. Jordan had barely crossed the threshold when Jason had launched himself at him at full speed. The two hugged each other tightly as they smiled joyfully. Jordan leaned back slightly, lifting Jason a little off his feet. "Long time no see Catalano" Jason laughed as Jordan finally put him back on the ground. "I hope you've been behaving yourself Mr. Chase" Jordan replied grinning happily. Jason nodded vigorously, his smile growing even bigger. "Oh course. I'm always good.". Angela coughed behind him giving him a pointed look .She smirked wryly when he glanced back at her. Jordan studied him for a second, he frowned for a second "Wait a minute, did you grow taller?". Jason grinned proudly "Yeah I'm nearly 5''8 and half now". Jordan raised his eyebrows "Wow. You're nearly as tall as me now". Jason shrugged feigning disinterest but still smiled smugly, a silence descended for a second. Jordan's attention then shifted to Patty, he reached out his hand to her and gave her a polite smile. She took it civilly and shook it firmly, giving him a smile in return "How are you Jordan, keeping well I see." Jordan nodded "Yeah I'm doing ok. How 'bout you?". Patty released his hand and glanced over to Angela for a second. Her daughter was standing uncomfortably behind Jason, staring at the plush blue carpet, counting down the seconds till she could escape Jordan. Patty looked back at Jordan, her gaze now sterner "I am fine thank you". Jason didn't miss the harsh tone in his grandmother's voice as she spoke to his father, he knew from experience Patty was not best pleased at this situation. Jordan shifted uneasily under her hard glare. He'd always held the deepest respect for Angela's mother, she had been one of the very few people who'd always given him the benefit of the doubt when he was a wayward teenager. He felt almost ashamed for his present actions as she fixed him with a piercing stare, he wanted desperately to interrupt this moment.

Jason cleared his throat trying to diffuse the increasingly edgy atmosphere "So…eh my birthdays, like, in two days. Did you get me my amazingly epic present yet?". Jordan exhaled in thinly veiled relief, silently thanking his son for breaking the tension "I'm working on it. I'll have something for you on the day but the you'll have to wait a while for the other part ". Jordan flashed his son a devilish grin as Jason's eyes widened in excitement.

The striking blonde huffed loudly beside Jordan suddenly "Aint you gonna introduce me to your friends Baby". Angela felt her teeth gnash together as she heard the girls high pitched, nasally voice. The thick Southern twang further irritating Angela's oversensitive sensibilities. She instantly detested her. Jordan looked at the blonde with a smirk upon his face "Damn where are my manners, sorry sweetie. Everyone this is Connie." Jordan stepped away slightly to gesture with his hand "Connie this Patty, Angela and Jason, my son". Jason gave a small wave, a glazed look upon his face as he grinned at Connie dopily . Angela rolled her eyes visibly, why were all men so predictable? Connie strolled over and kissed Jason on the cheek "My you're a handsome boy, jus' like your daddy. It's an honour to meet you". Angela swore she could kill that blonde bimbo with her bare hands at that moment. Jason's face grew crimson and he grinned giddily "Believe me the pleasures all mine" he said breathily. Connie turned to Angela "And you must be Angela Chase, right?" she said good naturedly . Angela gave her a thin, forced smile "Yep that's me". As she spoke, Jordan looked at her for what felt like the first time that night. He felt a kick to his gut and he watched her talking to Connie with barely concealed contempt. It was true that he'd been with girls that were more conventionally beautiful then Angela, but his attraction to her had always been so much more than just physical. There was something between them he still didn't fully understand. At this moment he'd never seen anything so goddamn lovely in all his life. She was an angel. Jordan shuddered for a millisecond as he regained his senses, he was not going to let himself be distracted by silly infatuations.

Connie held onto Angela's hand tightly as she shook it vigorously "Oh my Ms Chase I love your books. I mean your character of Jared…god the things I'd do to him. When I found out he was based on Jordy I just had to see for myself if it was true". Angela's tight smile became thinner as her eyes flashed in anger. This was just perfect. "That's great. But I think you'll find Jared's a more rounded person than our Jordan, Jared has the benefit of my guiding maturity ." Connie looked confused for a moment, but still smiled openly. Jordan scowled at Angela behind Connie, while she shot him a withering look. Jason sighed in frustration, the games were about to begin.

Connie opened her mouth to say something else when a studio executive walked towards them. "Well if isn't my two favourite people, Angela, Jordan. How are you both?" the woman said almost condescendingly. Angela turned first "Just peachy Maggie, thank you. Do you want us to go in now?" she gave the exec her best smile. Maggie smirked "If you wouldn't mind that would speed up the proceedings quite nicely". Angela nodded in agreement and gestured for Patty and Jason to follow her, they walked on towards the theatre. Jordan grunted in annoyance, pausing for a moment. Connie waltzed up to him and grabbed his hand "C'mon darlin' we'll miss the show". She began to pull at him to move, but Jordan was truthfully reluctant to sit through this dramatisation of his youth. "C'mon Jordy let's move" Connie stood on her tippy toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. Jordan was taken aback for a moment and did not reply to the show of affection. He looked over to the theatre doors and saw Angela staring at them in fury, Jordan gave her a taunting smirk and pulled Connie close to him as he walked towards her. Angela excused herself from Maggie's company and stalked into the room without another backward glance to Jordan or Connie. "What a fucking asshole!" she muttered under her breath.

Jordan had been thankful when Angela had politely refused to introduce the film, god knows what she would have said in her present mood. Instead some girl and a Zac Efron look-alike had done the formal prologue to the film, Jordan had presumed correctly that they were the lead actors . Not that he particularly cared all that much who the hell they

were. Jordan was also exceptionally unhappy that the studio or whoever had organised the seating plan, had placed he and Angela in the same row. Jason, Patty, Robbie, Shane and Connie separated them, but he still felt he was too goddamn close. The very fact he had to watch their whole fucking relationship on screen, in front of a full theatre of people, was made exponentially worse by the fact she was twelve feet away from him. This was torture. He fidgeted in his seat, deeply unnerved by what was going on in front of him. It made him feel physically ill, it was worse then he'd anticipated to watch his own life exposed so visibly. His agitated movements solicited narrowed eyes from Connie as she tried to watch the film. She was in her element.

At the other side of the row, Angela sat with her head resting against her hand, wishing for this night to go faster then the snails pace it was going at now. She sneaked a quick glance down the row to Jordan. He was slouched down far into the chair biting at his thumb, his eyes fixed upon the head of the person in front of him. He transferred his gaze over towards her momentarily and as soon as their eyes met, both of them looked back at the screen intently. Jason saw them out of the corner of his eye and grunted in displeasure, his parents were acting like damn infants. Very slowly, the film eventually rolled around to the grand finale. Jordan checked his watch, glad to see only five minutes remained for him to be stuck in this predicament. For the first time in the entire movie, Jordan gave it his full attention. It seemed to just draw him in unrepentantly. Though it was an almost entirely fictionalised moment, there was something familiar about it, an amalgamation of the best things they had been. The character of Jared sat upon the stage at the junior prom, desperate to get his girl back. The girl he had lost to the good looking preppy kid. Jordan observed the movie in fascination as Jared interrupted the performing band to ask them to let him play. Jordan would have been lying if he'd have said he hadn't thought of doing that once or twice when he was a teen, to perform some grand gesture for the sake of love. Because if he'd had the guts to do it at the time, he'd have leapt on stage and sang his heart out solely for her. It was different then just performing in a club like Vertigo, where there was a plan and a back up if all went wrong, a grand gesture required balls and spontaneity. The opening chords to 'Red' filled the theatre and Angela stiffened against her chair, casting her eyes away from the action above. Jordan turned his head and couldn't stop himself from staring at Angela as the chorus kicked in.

"She's my shelter from the storm,

She's a place to rest my head,

Late at night she keeps me safe and warm,

I call her red"

She closed her eyes for a second, just listening to the song. She felt the heat of his gaze upon her face and she opened her eyes slowly, lifting her them to greet his. This time when Angela's eyes met his, neither of them looked away. There was an exchange of something powerful and unspoken in their locked stares, the energy exchanged may not have been on of adoration but it reaffirmed something intense and undeniable between them. That passion still lay beneath the surface, it was an antagonistic energy. Jordan's glare softened for a second and he gave Angela an almost look of pining for her, as the final verse ended. Angela felt something stir within her. Before she could respond, the credits began to roll and the dimmed houselights became brighter. She looked away for a beat to readjust to the brighter light. When she returned to gaze at Jordan ,he was leering at Connie, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Her mood immediately darkened, she thankful at least round 1 had concluded. All she had to do was keep her cool through the after show party and everything would be fine.

The small group separated on there journey to the party, which was being held in the expansive home of one of the producers. Jordan, Connie and the other members of the band left first in a large brash Hummer, while the Chases left in the Mercedes they'd arrived in. The party venue was just one block from Angela's apartment building, so she instantly relaxed knowing if things turned sour, she could very easily escape home. Jason started to squirm nervously as the car stopped at the side walk. He retrieved his cell phone from his jacket pocket and checked his messages. He breathed a deep sigh of relief. "Mom is ok if I meet you up there? Beth's just down the street waiting for me." Angela gave him a sly smile "Go on, but don't be too long." Jason grinned, leaping out of the car. Angela and Patty smiled in bemusement as he giddily raced down the street, he'd never ran so fast in his life. They shared a look, Angela paused for a second as they approached the door. Patty stepped back beside her and linked her arm with Angela's "Come on, let's get this over with." she looked at her daughter with understanding. She knew from experience how difficult these situations were, but she'd gone through them with Graham and Hallie with her head held high. Angela gave her a weak smile and they strode into the building to the elevator.

Jason Chase entered the small coffee shop in a flurry of nervous energy, a wide grin spreading across his face as he spotted his girlfriend at one of the tables. She wore a midnight blue cocktail dress and matching pumps, her black hair in soft curls around her face. Her honey-coloured eyes were fixed upon her iced coffee as she swirled her straw around the plastic cup absentmindedly. Jason almost ran over to her in excitement, but screeched to a halt a couple of feet in front of her when he spotted Joey and Julie beside her. Both were dressed in their best party clothes. Joey was the first to spot him "Hey man. What's up?" he said with a cheeky grin. Jason's face flamed red in anger "What the fuck are you doing here Joe?" he hissed. Joey sighed and stretched his arms over his head and smirked cockily "Getting ready to hit the party". Jason began to quake with anger "I told you a million times you couldn't come! How did you even find out where I was meeting Beth?". Joey continued to smirk, Beth sighed and gave him an apologetic look "They followed me here, I didn't even know they were in the taxi behind me till I arrived. I'm really sorry Jay". Jason's glare softened, he gave Beth a small smile "It's ok, I'm not mad with you. Joey on the other hand….I could strangle". Joey suddenly huffed loudly "Jesus Chase what the hell is the big deal. Your mom and dad are Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano, you're practically a celebrity heir. You can bring whoever you want." Jason gritted his teeth "This isn't about execs stopping me from bringing who I want. I had to beg my mom to let me bring Beth. She'll kill me if I bring you.". Joey scoffed "Don't be such a pussy. Why would she object?". Jason through his hands up in the air "Because you fucking, annoying douche bag, the whole 'Sex, Drugs and Rock'n' roll' thing is goddamn well true. I can't trust you to behave and neither will Angela Chase" . His voice got quieter as he spoke "I don't want to get caught in the middle, I'm always in the damn middle of shit storms. Why can't people just get along" Jordan's shoulders slumped a little in exhaustion. Joey's eyes went wide, he shared a look with Beth and then Julie. "Jason, are you ok?" Joey said with concern. Jason exhaled before speaking bitterly, his eyes downcast " My parents are acting like a pair of fucking idiots, especially my Dad. He's brought some bimbo former Miss South Carolina or something and has been all over her tonight. Mom and Dad have been just taking shots at each other and I'm sick of it."

They were all silent for a moment, knowing full well he wasn't being melodramatic. Beth swung her long, slender legs over the other side of the stool and stood up. She walked over to her boyfriend and wrapped her arms around him, Jason hugged her back tightly "Thanks" he said softly. Beth pulled back a little and gave him a kiss on his cheek "No problem sweetheart". Beth turned back to Julie and Joey "Here's the deal McCarthy, you can come tonight .But if you even look at a glass of alcohol tonight ,I swear I'll castrate you. With a spoon. Got it !". Jason and Julie snorted loudly when Joey visibly gulped "Got it Suarez" his voice half an octave higher then usual . As Beth turned back to him, Jason smiled at her with affection "Did anyone ever tell you, your damn sexy when you go all badass." Beth simply bit at her lip seductively "Come on let's go before we miss all the fun." she took him by the hand and lead him out to the door. Joey rushed after him "Did anyone ever tell you your girlfriend is crazy!" he panted in terror. Jason chuckled, Julie rolled her eyes at Joey and caught him by the elbow "Just shut up and come on Joe" she muttered. Joey looked at her in disbelief "But she is crazy". Julie pushed him out the door in exasperation not responding.

Angela Chase felt exhausted, she'd spent the last hour and a half working the room as a favour to Maggie. In truth she hated networking and talking to people she would avoid in normal circumstances. At least half those present at the party were no talent celebrities who hadn't an intelligent thought between them. Some of the cast were nice enough but were more interested in hooking up and getting drunk rather than chatting to her. Angela wished her friends could have been here, she felt a little on the outside and isolated in these people's company. Alas, Rayanne was stuck in California for the next three weeks because of the intense shooting schedule for 'Sweet Charity', while Rickie had been forced to go to France with Jack. His mother was gravely ill and they'd had no choice but to go to her side. Brian was also busy, caught up in some gargantuan legal case in Miami. What further troubled Angela was her mother had called it a night and gone home, so Angela was now truly alone. Jason was off having fun with his friends and she didn't want to disturb his enjoyment of the party. She sighed heavily as she approached the bar, sitting up on one of the metallic stools she ordered a mojito from the waiter. She was quietly ecstatic her obligations were done for the night. The waiter handed her the ice cold drink and she took a healthy sip from the frosted glass, her mood was immediately lifted. She hadn't seen Jordan or Connie for nearly an hour thankfully. They had been sitting earlier in the corner of the expansive room on a dark leather couch. Shane and Robbie had been sitting beside them, along with some people she only vaguely recognised, some of them were up and coming musicians and actors. Connie had sat with her arms crossed looking bored as they all were absorbed in their conversations. This had made Angela feel a little less depressed, obviously Jordan was not being an attentive date.

Angela swivelled around on her stool as she sipped more drink from her glass. Her eyes fell upon the makeshift dance floor the party planner had set up, a DJ and his deck stood on a generously sized platform just to the right. On the opposite side of the room lay a impressively sized temporary stage for Echelon's set a little later on, which was now a flurry of activity as roadies carefully placed mics and instruments upon it. The usually thumping bass of the music softened as a slow song came on, much to Angela's delight, she needed to relax for a moment. The once heaving dance floor thinned considerably as mostly couples remained upon it. As the crowds parted Angela felt her heart flutter with pleasure when she spotted Jason entwined with Beth. The girl was nearly the same height as him, but still managed to rest her head comfortably against his chest.

Angela had met her earlier and was suitably impressed with the willowy teen. Beth was an honour student and in all the advanced classes available at Jason's school, an accomplished pianist and most importantly a lovely person. It was clear that she adored Jason as much as he did her. She had this kind of unassuming beauty and charisma that disarmed anyone she met and Angela found she instantly approved of her. That being said there had been an almost awkward moment when Jason was making her official intro to Angela and Jordan. Beth's mother was a former fashion model and it seemed Shane had dated her early in her career twelve years ago, not long before Beth's mother got pregnant with her brother Jamie. There had been a momentary flash of terror across Shane Lewis' face as he tried to do the math in his head. Beth had relieved the tension when she'd assured him Jamie's father was a Malaysian back up dancer for Madonna, and her brother was clearly part Asian.

Angela continued to watch her son gleefully, he was gazing dizzily into his girlfriend's eyes as they swayed to the music. Oblivious to those around them and blissfully happy. A few feet away Angela saw Joey and Julie making out vigorously, Angela laughed in incredulity. Jason's best friend really had no shame, but she couldn't fault him really. She'd made out in some really public places when she was his age, sometimes hormones made you do some really dumb things.

Angela's musings were rudely disturbed by the presence of some on just to her right. "Can I have a cosmo and two cokes if please my good man?" Shane's deep voice boomed over the tranquil music . Angela turned to look at him, she was unable to hide the dislike she felt as she caught his eye. Shane's own chocolate brown eyes narrowed as he recognised her. "What Chase? You got something to say to me or you just going to stare all night" he said disdainfully. "No Lewis ,I've got nothing to say to you. Nothing nice anyway. Not after you fucked up my life" she growled as she turned back towards the dance floor. Shane gave her a mocking grin "Ahh don't be like that Chase. You know telling Jordan wasn't personal. I'm sorry you misinterpreted my intentions". Angela whipped around sneering at him "Not personal, don't make me laugh. You've hated me since we were kids and you were waiting for an opportunity to destroy me". Shane arched a dark eyebrow at her "Believe me ,you factor quite low on my priorities darling. Why would I bother wasting my time thinking of ways to upset you?". Angela smiled smugly "Jealousy. You're damn jealous Shane. You can't stand the fact, that ever since I met Jordan you've had to share his attention." Shane's face began to flush red as she said this "Before me, it was you and him against the world. Like some pathetic bromance." Shane arrogant façade faltered a second as he clenched his jaw, his nostrils flared as he leaned in a little closer "The only one who's pathetic is you Angela. I did what was best for my oldest friend." he hissed. "Keep telling yourself that and maybe one day you'll believe it" Angela replied with intent. Shane picked up his drinks and gave her one final look of contempt before walking away into the crowds of people. Angela shook her head and took a large mouthful of her cocktail. How she hated showbiz parties.

Jason was having a great time. Beth meeting his parents had gone great, it was noticeable that his mother had loved her straight away, much to his relief. Furthermore Jordan and Angela had stayed well away from one another, meaning there had been no more stilted and awkward conversations or full blown arguments thank God. Angela and Patty had spent the time talking to everyone, while Jordan had stayed talking to his friends and acquaintances. He hadn't seen his father in a while, he presumed he was off doing some vocal exercises for the performance in an hour. Because of this Jason was able to relax and enjoy the company of his girlfriend and best friend. As the tempo of the songs raised again Jason disentangled himself from Beth, taking the chance to attend to a pressing matter. "Sorry babe, nature calls" he grinned, Beth nodded "Hurry back Chase, you owe me more dancing". Jason winked at her and set out off away from the dance floor.

He whistled as reached the bathroom. He was a little surprised by what he found. Jason didn't know many people who had stalls in their own home, but this rich fool did. He entered one and closed the door, proceeding to relieve himself. The main door opened and the voices of two men filled the room. Jason quickly realised it was Shane and some other guy he'd talked to earlier. "Seriously if Catalano isn't careful he's gonna catch something nasty off those slutty socialites, like Syphilis or the Clap. He has to slow down". Jason sighed deeply, the guy was right. Jordan was playing with fire. He remained silent within his stall, interested in what he'd learn in this private space. Shane chuckled "Relax Pete, the only thing Jordan's in danger of catching is the sniffles or at worst a cold sore." Jason frowned in the stall as the second man Pete spoke again "What do you mean?". Shane sighed comically "You see ,Catalano hasn't been fucking any of those girls . Hell most of them he barely goes past 1st base with. It's got to be nearly 6 months since he's had sex". Jason tried desperately to contain a gasp of surprise that escaped his mouth. "Why the big show then? It's only ruining his reputation.". Shane took a deep breathe "It's very simple. Four words should explain it….screwing with Angela Chase. He knows it's driving her crazy and he loves it. Really he has no interest in any of these girls." The door of the bathroom opened again and Jason heard Joey's voice "Wow, hey Mr Lewis." "Hey kid, it's Joey right. Jason's buddy the drummer" Shane replied politely. "Yeah. That's me. So.. You excited to perform tonight?" he said brightly. Shane sighed "Yeah should be fun". There's was a slight pause, then Joey spoke again "Say did you see Jason, he came in here but he hasn't come back out yet. Maybe I should call him". Jason froze in embarrassment when his cell phone ring tone played loudly. It was the unmistakable sound of 'Smells like Teen Spirit". "Jay, you in here?" Joey said confused. Jason unlocked the door and looked at Shane sheepishly. "Hey" he said guiltily. "Why were you hiding in the stall" Joey exclaimed. Jason looked like a deer caught in headlights for a moment "Ehhh, I was texting someone" he blurted out. Jason knew it was a dumb excuse but he didn't offer any further explanation. Joey looked at him curiously but said nothing. "I think the girls will be wondering where we are, so we better go back out there" he said unsurely. Jason gave Shane an awkward half smile then leaving the bathroom swiftly with Joey in tow. Shane looked as if he was about to vomit "Oh shit man that isn't good. Jordan is going to be pissed" Pete laughed. Shane gave him a hard shove "Shut up! I swear if you say a fucking word to Catalano you're dead" he stalked out of the bathroom without a second look. Pete just shrugged his shoulders and ambled out after him.

Outside on the balcony the night air was cool and crisp where Jordan Catalano leaned against the apartment wall. Hidden partially in the shadows he drank slowly from a bottle of beer, his fourth of the night. In his other hand was the end of a smouldering cigarette, he felt bad he'd succumbed to the temptation to smoke but he needed it. Badly. His nerves were all over the place after watching 'Driving Lessons' and he just couldn't calm his troubled mind. He'd escaped outside nearly twenty minutes ago, needing space to think and be alone. He felt smothered by the number of sycophants wanting to talk to him, to flatter him unnecessarily in the hopes of getting in his inner circle. This was why he hated showbiz parties ,everyone wanted a piece of you. No one had come looking for him yet which greatly pleased him. Connie had gotten bored by his company and was off flirting with the Zac Efron look-a-like who'd played Jared. It was clear she preferred the fantasy over the reality. Not that he gave damn anyway, she merely a means to end.

The French door to his left opened noisily and Angela Chase walked out into the balcony. She did not see him, instead looking straight ahead and walked directly to the railing. She stared off into the city below, resting her head on her arms as she leaned on the barrier. Jordan watched her silently from the shadows, dazed by her simple loveliness in the moonlight. The dress she wore accentuated her elfin figure and her hair shone like gold in the dark,. Jordan wished unconsciously for her to turn her face for him to see her eyes. Of all her perfect features, they were what he loved most She sighed deeply and stood up again straight, draining the remaining drink in her glass. She placed it down on a nearby table and turned back towards the party. Angela yelped in surprise when she met Jordan blue eyes burning through the dark, staring at her guardedly.

"Fuck, you scared the shit out of me Jordan. What are you doing hiding in the dark?" she said breathlessly. "Nothing" he replied jadedly taking a sip from his beer and throwing the cigarette on the ground "Needed to get away is all". He looked away at some of the buildings across the street, indicating he wanted her to leave. Angela stayed staring at him, fixedly locked upon his hands. Jordan turned back to her, he scratched at his neck with his thumb uneasily. "What?" he said curtly, aggravated by her presence. "I thought you quit" Angela said pointing at the cigarette butt on the ground. "I did, just needed something to take the edge off after sitting through your damn movie" Jordan snapped "Did you enjoy making me look like a douche bag ?". Angela chuckled mockingly "I didn't do anything, you did it all on your own". Jordan scowled at her "I don't know what your complaining about anyway. You knew months ago what you signed up for. It's not as if it's some great surprise" she laughed again. "You're loving this aren't you. Torturing me." Jordan shot back. Angela cocked an eyebrow at him "Aren't we the egotist, you barely figure upon my mind Catalano". Jordan pushed off the wall and set his beer bottle down on the ground, an arrogant smirk spreading across his face "Oh really. Is that why you've been clearly under the influence of the green eyed monster all night." Angela gave him a withering look "Ha! Oh please! Me jealous of Connie the live action Barbie. Don't make me laugh." Angela began to smirk deviously "That bimbo's gonna need to go back to Mattel soon if her hair gets any bigger .You don't want her head caving in under the pressure". Jordan narrowed his eyes and walked closer to her "Hilarious. That really proves you aren't totally jealous" he said sarcastically. Angela put her hands on her hips and looked at him defiantly "And why do you care so much whether I am or not". Jordan leaned in a little closer "I don't. Let's be clear, you mean absolutely nothing to me. I can't stand you". Angela's confident front slipped a little, her eyes showed a small flash of hurt, but she was soon on the counterattack. "Good. Because I despise you too." Jordan gritted his teeth his face hardly more then a couple of inches away from her's ."Glad we're in agreement about something for once." he said in a low voice. She sneered at him "Actually I'm relieved we're finished, frankly I'm sure I would have caught all kinds of venereal diseases from you". Jordan chuckled sardonically "You're a lady as always. I'm sure Graham would be so proud." Angela exhaled angrily "Fuck you" she growled. Jordan smiled contemptuously "Funny ,I thought you already did." Angela shook her head in disbelief, she clenched her jaw furiously and pushed past him to the French doors. She whipped around suddenly "You know, I really hope you enjoy this little sexcapade you've got going on. Because once it's over, you'll find you've lost the respect and love of not only your colleagues and fans, but your son." Jordan's nostrils flared as his blood boiled, he glared at Angela hatefully. " Maybe he'll realise what a bastard you really are. Think about that asshole." She added fiercely. Jordan's face grew white when Angela turned around and Jason stood directly behind her

Angela gaped at him, speechless and ashamed. "Don't worry I haven't been standing here too long Mom" Jason muttered sullenly giving her a hard stare. Angela looked at him apologetically, she opened her mouth to say something reassuring but Jason cut her off "Don't! We'll talk another time. Just go inside, Maggie want's to talk to you". Angela looked at him dejectedly, but reluctantly did as requested. She gave Jason one last look of regret before walking back inside. Jason gave his father a cold glare "Shane sent me to get you, it's almost time for you to go on stage" he said humourlessly. Jordan nodded and scratched at his head, unable to think of anything to say. He hadn't wanted his son to witness any of what had gone down. The silence was charged with tension. Jason's glare did not let up, he suddenly broke the stillness between them "I know what you're doing Dad. And you've got to stop". Jordan looked at him in confusion "What are you talking about?". Jason scowled "The fact your using all these women to get back at Mom." Jordan's eyebrows rose almost to his hairline in surprise "Where did you get that idea Jay? I'm just having some fun". Jason gave him a sneer "Don't lie to me! I know you haven't screwed any of them, it's all a revenge ploy. A Goddamn deception to make my mom feel like shit" he growled. Jordan looked at his son despondently "It's not like that." Jason laughed sarcastically "Really…why did Shane tell Pete that it was". Jordan exclaimed despairingly "How did?". Jason sighed crossly "I overheard him in the bathroom so don't go punching or something". Jordan stared at his shoes, feeling deeply guilty for his actions. He looked back up at his son speaking gently "I'm sorry". Jason's anger seemed to subside a little "Yeah. Then it has to stop. Now. I know she hurt you….but this is just making everything so much worse". Jordan remained silent, finally seeing where he was putting his son. Jason spoke again, this time more calmly "I don't want to have to choose between you…..because if it comes down to it. I have to pick Mom."

Jordan's face fell as he his heart ached in his chest, hurting like never before. He's was royally fucking things up with the best thing he had in his life. Jason sighed again, giving his father one last glance. He turned to go to inside. "I promise I'm done Jason. No more games" Jordan said resolutely, Jason paused at the door. "That doesn't mean me and your Mom are going to be best buddies or anything" he added truthfully. Jason gave him a wry smile "I wasn't expecting you to be. No ones perfect." A small smile formed across Jordan's lips, Jason opened the door fully and walked inside. Jordan stayed outside for a moment staring out across Manhattan, he bit at his thumb distractedly. He heard his name being called inside and he walked to the door, re-entering the stifling party.

Angela watched Echelon perform from the safety of the bar, a good distance from the stage. The band were playing well and Jordan's magnetic stage presence was disarming even to her disturbed emotions. Jason sat next to her with Beth, Joey and Julie had been collected by Mrs McCarthy a little earlier. Jason and Beth were nodding along to the music, visibly enjoying themselves. As the song finished Jordan spoke to the intimate crowd. "How's everyone, feeling good?". The crowd yelled back enthusiastically. "Now we're gonna take a little step back in time and play an old classic for you tonight as our final song. But first I need some assistance. Can someone find me Jason Chase?". Jason sat up straighter in his chair looking perplexed, Beth leapt to her feet and started shouting while pointing him. Jordan smiled and pointed at him "Ahh there's my boy. C'mon on stage Jay if you please". Jason looked at Angela searchingly, she nodded in consent. Jason jumped to his feet and made his way through the mass of people as they cheered loudly. Once on stage Jordan handed him his guitar and whispered something in his ear. Jason nodded eagerly a big smile upon his face. "Alright everyone ready, this is 'Behind Blue Eye's' by the legendary 'The Who'." The mood in the room became a little more sombre as Jordan began to sing, there was something honest about the lyrics that made Angela feel that Jordan was only singing to her and Jason. As if he was trying to communicate something that had remained unspoken between them.

"No one knows what it's like To be the bad man To be the sad man Behind blue eyes No one knows what it's like To be hated To be fated To telling only lies But my dreamsThey aren't as empty As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely My love is vengeance That's never free "

Something caught in her throat as she felt herself affected by his desolation. Jordan was hurting way down inside and she felt partially responsible. These momentary twinges of sympathy were extinguished as Jordan's eyes flicked to hers. Piercing with intent as he sang the next verse, directing the words at her."No one knows what it's like To feel these feelings Like I do And I blame you "

Angela couldn't take anymore, she stood up and walked off towards the door. She was going home. Jason gave her a look of concern from the stage, seeing the tears forming in her eyes. When the song ended, the short set was also finished .Jason walked over his father, he whispered in a dangerously low voice "Was that necessary". Jordan shrugged his shoulders "All I did was sing a song. She's too damn sensitive sometimes". Jason gave him a glare "Do that again and I won't speak to you for a month". Jordan knew he was serious "Fine. I'll try to be civil next time I swear". Jason looked at him doubtfully. "You have my word" he added. Jason relaxed a little "I'm still mad with you, so you can make it up to me by letting me pick your apartment tomorrow". Jordan looked at him wearily " You're a pain sometimes. Fine it's a deal. Let's go back to the hotel, I'm bored by this party now". Jason nodded in agreement. He motioned for Beth to follow them and they exited the apartment. Despite the heated exchanges between his parents, Jason felt a little better now the night was over. The worst was over and they could get on with their complicated lives.


	12. Red Heat

**All right! So this chapter is leading into another story arc, but is more a set up for the next instalment then a relatively important chapter. For those getting frustrated by the lack of Jordan/Angela physical action, be assured a major event is on the horizon. Depending on how long the next chapter ends up, it might be in the next chapter (I.e no.13) or no.14. I'll let you guys decide and I'll make it happen! ****J But be warned if you request I do it in Chapter 13, it will be like 20,0000 words!**

**Thanks again for those who reviewed my last chapter. Your comments are always so encouraging it makes me want to update faster and faster. Please send me more!**

**As always I'll update ASAP**

**-RedCatCatalano**

Jordan Catalano sighed deeply as he basked in the morning sun. It was barely past 9.30 but the stifling July heat was already building steadily around the city. Directly below him on 5th Avenue and near the fringes of Central Park, tourists were fanning themselves vigorously, already feeling the temperature rising uncomfortably. Jordan enjoyed the slight breeze against his skin as he remained for a moment, looking down at the busy streets from the roof garden of his vast apartment. It was still strange for him to have a place to call his own, particularly one which had a full sized pool 50 storeys in the air. The moment he and Jason had walked in to view it, they both knew it was perfect. It had three floors, seven bedrooms and more bathrooms then either of them would ever need,. But the piece de resistance that had convinced them it was the right one ,had been when they'd seen the former greenhouse. This glass structure that had once held exotic plants had been renovated and soundproofed by it's former owner and now was a spectacular recording studio. Sitting on top of the building, it was a veritable window on Manhattan and a hive of inspiration if ever there was one. It could only be accessed by the outer set of stairs in the roof garden where it sat amongst a small collection of palm trees, but gave the occupant a distinct sense of endless space. Jordan himself loved the expansive feeling of freedom it gave him when he worked there at night, he felt he could almost touch the star filled sky with his fingertips.

He and Shane had been in there a few times this week, trying to come up with some new material for their next album. They'd convinced the record company to give them nine months off from touring and everything else to write songs, but so far the process hadn't been too fruitful. The unusually high temperatures were slowing everyone down, most days they spent lounging by the pool and hanging out. It wasn't just that the studio was hot, the previous owner had fitted it with the best air con money could buy, but Jordan had this restless air about him that stopped anything productive from actually taking place. His mind was always somewhere else, thinking about something or someone else. So Robbie had called it quits for a while, announcing he was going to Hawaii till late August, hoping Jordan would be more enthused to work by that stage. Shane on the other hand had taken up temporary residence in one of Jordan's guest rooms. Just until his new apartment on the other side of the park was finished being renovated, which was taking longer then anticipated. Jordan didn't particularly mind Shane mooching off him though, they'd lived in each other's pocket since they were kids, something which hadn't exactly stopped once they reached adulthood. In fact, Jordan almost worried what it would be like once Shane left to move into his own place. Jason came over whenever he could, but Jordan knew pretty soon the sprawling penthouse was going to get a whole lot emptier once his friend left,. This was a thought that did not sit well with Jordan Catalano. He hated being alone.

Jordan sighed again contentedly as he walked across the warm flagstones, past the pool and back into the hallway that connected three of the seven bedrooms, the main bathroom and the library/musical instrument room. Jordan whistled tunefully as he thundered loudly down the stairs and into his kitchen. Shane stood by the coffee machine, a bathrobe tied loosely at his waist. When he saw Jordan he gave him a toothy grin "Good morning Catalano". Jordan eyed his friends dishevelled appearance and tell tale hickey on his neck "I take you had a good time at the club last night" Jordan said smirking roguishly. Shane shrugged indifferently, but couldn't contain the arrogant grin on his lips. "You should have come out, you would have had fun. Maybe you could've interrupted this dry spell you're having and actually use what God gave you for once" Shane said smiling as he turned back to Jordan. "And what… leave Jason alone in this place all night. Do you remember what trouble we could get into at 15?" Jordan and Shane shared a small laugh as they reminisced about their checkered pasts, they had gotten unbelievable mischief at 15. Shane nodded "Yeah I forgot you're all responsible and boring now" Jordan shot him a withering look. Behind Shane a beautiful and tall red head emerged from the hallway leading to his bedroom, she gave Jordan an embarrassed smile as she caught his eye. "Emm..I've got a photo shoot to be at in like an hour so I…" she trailed off, Shane gave her a small grin "Go on. I'm not hurt you gotta leave". The red head smiled again "Ok, well it was nice meeting you Shane. Thanks for…" she trailed off again her cheeks flashing pink. "Yeah , I had a great time too" Shane added with a wink. The girl grinned at him seductively for a moment, before grabbing her bag from the countertop "See you around Mr Lewis." she added huskily. She then walked down the stairs leading to the bottom storey, the front door clicked softly after her. Jordan gave Shane an impressed look "Wow! You did good last night". Shane raised his eyebrows at him comically "There's life in this old dog yet Catalano." Jordan rolled his eyes at him as he reached into get a cup of coffee, grinning broadly. Jason sauntered in from the large entertainment room where he'd been watching TV, a box of Oreo's in his hand. "Ok correct me if I'm wrong, but did a scantily clad goddess just walk out our front door." Jordan nodded nonchalantly taking a large gulp of his sugary coffee. " And why wasn't I introduced?" Jason exclaimed in indignation. Shane laughed "One, you already have a gorgeously girlfriend and two you're too damn young to handle a woman like that". " And three Shane is threatened by your good looks and unbelievable charisma" Jordan added grinning fiendishly at his friend. Shane just shook his head "You're so funny" he said dryly. Jason pouted like a baby "I bet you don't even remember her name". Shane cocked a dark eyebrow at him "It was Kimberley….I think." He frowned for a second trying to remember, Jordan bit at his lip trying not to laugh. "Her name is Regan Deane and she posed for Playboy last February" Jason said huffily. "Regan? Are you sure?" Shane said sceptically. "I'm a sexually frustrated 15 year old boy and she's a sexy playboy bunny. Of course I'm sure." Jason said grumpily before turning back to go watch tv "Next time there's a hot woman in our apartment please tell me" he muttered moodily.

Jordan sniggered loudly . "Regan, her name was Regan. Where did I get Kimberley from?" Shane scratched at his head perplexed. Jordan just patted him on the shoulder "Beats me, but you just got totally shown up by my son" he grinned again "You're getting slow old man". Shane went to sit down at the stools on the other side of the counter, he grabbed a Danish from the basket and looked at Jordan thoughtfully "Speaking of Jason, doesn't he seem a tad touchy these last few days." Shane bit into the pastry not breaking his eye contact with Jordan. The younger man's face grew serious, his cheeky grin slowly leaving his face. "Yeah he does. He got into a fight a few days ago and Beth hasn't talked to him since. Hence the brooding and quick temper." Jordan didn't say anything else, Shane just shrugged and continued on eating. "I'm sure when he see's what's waiting in the garage, it'll cheer him right up" Shane whispered conspiratorially as Jordan's smile returned "Yeah he'll flip".

It was possible that maybe Jordan was overcompensating a little with this gesture, yet he felt it necessary considering the hell he'd put his son through. The hell Jason still had to go through because of his fathers selfish actions leading up to the premiere. Jordan felt very much responsible for the fight Jason had gotten in a few days ago. Jason had gone to Central Park to play a friendly game of softball with some of his J.V team-mates and their girlfriends, but had come home with a bruised cheekbone and a split lip instead of Beth. The shortstop of the opposing team had kept making some crude comments about Jordan every time Jason went to bat. Finally Jason had, had enough and punched the douche bag in the face. According to Jason the fight had only lasted a minute, with him knocking out the older boy, but the end result was not so positive. The shortstop was Beth's cousin Freddy and as such she was not best pleased with her boyfriend. But Jason refused to apologise, so now they found themselves at a stalemate, with both parties too stubborn to make the first move to reconciliation. As a result of this, his son had spent the last week moping and playing his guitar mournfully by the pool. The custom fender had been gift from Jordan on his birthday as a replacement for the old black one Jason had kept while he was on tour. The only saving grace of the situation was that Angela was in L.A visiting Rayanne and Rickie till tonight, so she hadn't seen Jason's bruised face. She would have gone crazy and held him entirely at fault for the injury. Not that she would have been wrong to.

Things between him and Miss Chase had gotten better, in the way that they no longer had volcanic showdowns in front of Jason. They tried to be civil, but truthfully neither of them had a disposition suited to being reasonable, both of them were far too volatile for that. They instead avoided each others company, and any necessary conversations were brief and frosty at best. Most of the time they treated each other with the distinct air of indifference. Jason just accepted this, diplomatically spending as equal amounts of time in each household as humanly possible, thankful they lived less than two blocks away from each other. He was still quietly optimistic that his parents could come to some amiable plateaux ,but at the moment he just gritted his teeth and hoped for the best.

Jordan would have been lying if he said it wasn't hard to remain unaffected by Angela. Two weeks before she'd come up to collect Jason to go to some dinner with her and Patty. Jordan recalled it was for his grandmothers birthday or something similar. It was Angela's first time actually in the apartment and she'd been immediately drawn to the grand piano that sat in the middle of the lobby area by the front door. Jordan had watched her unnoticed from the stairway, her long fingers twitching as she resisted the urge to play the off white keys. She'd instead ran her hand over it's smooth, ebony frame and sighed contentedly. Jordan didn't know why he'd bought the piano in the first place or why the image of her standing by it had stuck in his mind. But it had. Both of these questions plagued him constantly at the moment. It made him uneasy to realise his imposed icy hatred towards her was slowly beginning to thaw.

Shane cleared his throat loudly, shaking Jordan out of his daydream. "I took them long enough to transport it from Pittsburgh" he said blankly. "Yeah, but it's in good condition. Just needs a few tweaks here and there so I can't complain." Jordan sighed again and walked towards the room Jason was brooding in "Anyway, time to cheer up Mr Grumpy." Jason lay across the couch staring at the TV vacantly, the empty Oreo box thrown idly on the floor beside him. Jordan smacked him lightly on the foot to get his attention "Get up sunshine, I've got something to show you." Jason groaned "But I'm watching this, leave me alone". Jordan arched an eyebrow at him "Jason Catalano Chase you've been lying on this couch for the last five days and you've watched this episode of Jersey Shore like a billion times. Now get up!" Jordan said firmly. Jason huffed loudly ,but did as he was told "Jesus you didn't need to go all parental on me Dad. You sound like Patty." Jordan bit his cheek as to hide the smile that threatened to break through at Jason's comment. His son rose to his feet still pouting "Let's go then" he said grouchily

One of the greatest things that had come with living in this building, other than the studio, was the private garages that the upper floors had access to. Jordan's space lay just at below the ground floor, with a car elevator just to the south of the building to take any vehicles to the street level. It had cost him almost as much as the price of the apartment to obtain one of the these storage spaces, but he was thankful he had. Especially at this moment. Jason leaned against the elevator, staring at the shiny floor while Jordan punched in the code to gain entry to the restricted floor. They remained in silence as the elevator smoothly picked up speed, it beeped cheerfully a couple of minutes later when they'd reached their intended destination. Jason had never been down here before, usually they walked anywhere they wanted to go . The few times they'd ever gone anywhere far enough away to need a car, Jordan had met them outside the building. Jordan flicked the lights on and the fluorescent bulbs quickly illuminated the space. His metallic cherry red pick-up stood directly in front of them and a little further on lay his burgundy Porsche. Jason's dark mood lifted a little as curiosity got the better of him. He stopped at the Porsche, his eyes roving up and down its glossy lines in appreciation. "You sure like the colour red" Jason said brashly a grin starting to from. Jordan gave him a half smile when his son turned towards him " What's wrong with liking it. Red's the colour of passion and love". "And war" Jason interjected smirking at his father. His attention was then caught by a third car under a blue tarp next to where Jordan was standing. "Hey. What's that?" Jason pointed behind Jordan. His half smile grew wide and brilliant "This is what I wanted to show you". Jason looked him in anticipation as he walked the small distance to the car, Jordan pulled back the tarp.

The shiny red 72' Plymouth stood proudly in the dark room. "Is this what I think it is" Jason said excitedly. "Yep, old Red my first car. Been sitting in Shane's sisters driveway for years since I sold it to her. Finally bought Red back a couple of weeks ago" Jordan said brightly, his right hand clutched the keys in his pocket eagerly, waiting for the opportune moment to reveal the surprise. "Can I get in it?" Jason said nervously. Jordan nodded and Jason opened the driver's door, sitting inside hurriedly. Jordan opened the other side and followed him in. "What do think?" Jordan said casually, inside him the expectation was building quickly. "I just don't know how you afforded a beauty like this at sixteen. You weren't exactly rolling in money." Jordan shifted uncomfortably for a moment, he'd often wondered that too. He'd always believed sometimes ignorance was bliss when it came to matters of perceived luck. "Well you see Tino's uncle knew a guy, who knew another guy who…..anyway they only charged me a hundred because it wasn't in great condition when I got it. But I fixed it up myself". Jordan looked around the car proudly "Fixing car's was always something I was good at." Jason looked at him attentively for a moment "Would you teach me sometime?" he asked hopefully. Jordan's eyes grew wide in surprise and he beamed in delight "Sure, if you want to. I mean this car needs a little work done so I could show you a thing or two" Jason smiled gently in response. Jordan smile grew sad for a moment as he stared out the windshield "Guess it can be a tradition or something. Car mechanics is one the few good things my dad ever taught me, so maybe it's right I teach you".

They sat in silence for a moment, Jason ran his hands over the steering wheel longingly. "What I wouldn't give to own a car like this." he muttered softly. Jordan smirked slightly, reaching into his pocket he took out the keys and put them in Jason's hand. "This is your car dumbass" Jordan said grinning, Jason stared at the keys in shock. He looked back up at Jordan in disbelief "Really?" he choked out. Jordan just nodded simply. Jason's face broke out into the biggest smile Jordan had ever seen, apart from maybe one or two Angela Chase had flashed him in the past. He hugged his father forcefully in his joy, pulling back suddenly he looked panic stricken. "But I'm only 15, I can't drive this. Mom won't let me" Jason spluttered. Jordan chuckled a little "Listen, if your Mom could drive this car at 15, so can you." Jason looked at him taken aback for a moment "Mom drove this?". Jordan sighed jadedly "Yeah, she reversed it into a stupid dumpster and put that dent in the back bumper". Jason laughed "Her driving hasn't improved much since then really." Jordan burst out laughing "No it hasn't". The two guys laughed loudly until tears nearly rolled down their faces. Jason laughter died suddenly and his expression became solemn, Jordan stopped too, immediately concerned. "What's wrong buddy?" he said evenly. Jason frowned and breathed out heavily "Ehhh… something just occurred to me and it's going to bother me unless you answer it. Though I don't want to ask it because it's majorly embarrassing." Jordan frowned, unsure of where this was going. Jason took a deep breath and continued "Plus it might ruin the perfectness of getting a car" Jordan stared at Jason confusedly "Ok. What is it?". Jason looked at him straight in the eye "Was I conceived in this car or did you at any stage have sex with my mom in this car?" Jordan couldn't stop the uncontrollably giggles from breaking out of his mouth in shock. He hadn't foreseen that question at all. Jason's face grew bright pink in humiliation "I'm sorry Jay, I just wasn't expecting that." Jordan hiccupped loudly trying to control his laughter. His breathing slowly came back to normal and he finally composed himself enough to answer "No. Neither of those things happened in this car. That being said, it wasn't as if I didn't try. But your Mom had more class and self respect than that.". Jason breathed out in relief, Jordan hesitated but continued on in slight embarrassment "I'm not going to lie ….I did have sex quite a few times in that backseat. But I got it reupholstered so all the traces of… THAT is gone". Jason's face screwed up in disgust "As long as it wasn't with my Mom, I think I can get past that fact eventually. But just for the moment I can't be in this car." Jordan snorted softly and followed Jason's lead, stepping out of the car.

Jason stood admiring the red Plymouth, his excitement coming back " This is insane. Is this the epic present you promised to get me?". Jordan nodded happily as they stood in front of his loyal and trusty convertible. "I've wanted to give it to since the moment I first met you and I was going to wait till Christmas . But with all that I put you through with the whole stupid….." Jordan paused feeling ashamed " I just thought I had a lot to make up for". Jason bumped his shoulder against his fathers, a gesture which had come to denote affection between them, and Jordan knew all was forgiven. Jason took a deep breath "You do realise Mom is going to kill you." giving him a sly smile. "Don't worry, I am well capable of handling Angela Chase." Jordan replied with a grin. Jason ran his hands over the crimson bonnet, still smiling brightly in disbelief. Jordan watched him with satisfaction, but there was still something dark lurking in his son's sky blue eyes which troubled him.

"So….do you want to give Beth a call and tell her the good news?" Jordan said nonchalantly sticking his hands in his pockets. Jason straightened up, his jaw set defiantly "Nope". Jordan looked at him wearily "Jason. Just put your pride aside and just say your sorry, I'm not having you sulking in your room for the rest of the Summer." Jason scowled visibly as he crossed his arms across his chest, he stayed silent. "You punched her cousin in the face, I get that the guy deserved it. But just admit you did something wrong and it's half the battle over." Jordan tried to plead with his son, the Holden Caulfield teen angst act was really starting to ware thin, especially with both of the Catalano's nursing broken heart in such close quarters. "Look. The fight wasn't about that, not totally. It may have started out like that, but it turned into something else." Jason muttered bitterly. Jordan looked at him patiently, knowing all he had to do was listen and Jason would fill the silence with what was bothering him. Jason turned to face him fully, frustration showing on his youthful face. "You know what was like being a teenage boy, all the uncontrollable….horniness." he said awkwardly. Jordan smirked sheepishly "It's still like that for me Jay." Jason's taut stance relaxed a fraction "The thing is…..I really like Beth. And well I'm not always good at saying how much she means to me. So I guess I prefer to show her sometimes…..and I may have gone a little too far once." Jason tensed up again and stared at the ground absorbedly. Jordan sighed "Let me guess, you suggested having sex. She said no. You got pissed and she now thinks that's all you're after." Jason exhaled almost in relief "Yep. I mean I only suggested it cos I wanted to show her what I feel about her." Jordan cocked a unconvinced eyebrow at him "Ok and I also really wanted to do it too" Jason muttered grudgingly ."So you had a big fight after the softball game about her not wanting to sleep with you. Am I correct?" Jordan said simply, feeling a distinct sense of deja vu with this conversation. Jason nodded seriously "I kinda called her abnormal, because tons of people in our class have done it . But I feel terrible about it now". Jordan would have laughed at the irony of the situation if his son's mood hadn't been so low "I've learned from experience, pressuring a girl and calling her abnormal is never going to get you anywhere. In fact it'll do the opposite for your case". Jordan gave him a knowing smile "Trust me, I made the exact same mistakes once." Jason groaned "But I'm so ready , it's driving me crazy." Jordan threw his arm around his son's shoulders "Welcome to adult relationships Jay. Patience is a virtue kid and believe me when I say, good things come to those who wait." Jason sent him a look of derision "That's easy for you to say. What were you 14 when you lost your virginity?". Jordan tried not to smile arrogantly "Actually 13. But you want to know something. It didn't mean a damn thing till…" he didn't finish his sentence, his face becoming glum for a second. Jason looked at him earnestly, knowing instantly what he meant "It didn't mean anything till you loved someone, it was just an empty act. A itch to be scratched or something. Right?". Jordan nodded sincerely, his voice quiet and contemplative "Yeah. Actually caring about the person you're with changes it. Makes everything more…..intense" Jordan gave his son a small smile "The question is for you is, do you like Beth enough to wait? Because if you're understanding and considerate, it's worth it in the end". Jason stared at the car intently, he sighed in defeat "I guess so." Jordan squeezed his shoulders "That's my boy." Jordan removed his arm from his shoulders and walked to the front of the car, he lifted the bonnet to expose the engine. "Right now I think it's time I taught you a different set of important life lessons. Bring me over that tool box" . Jason did as requested, he spun a wrench in his hand as a thought occurred to him. Jason handed Jordan a set of pliers, as they both leaned over the engine critically. "There's a whole other heap of other fun stuff we could do, like, before we build up to the actual event. Right? That is of course if Beth forgives me" Jason looked at his father optimistically. Jordan paused at his work by the engine, he turned his head back to Jason looking at him carefully. Slowly a devilish grin spread across his face "You have no idea" . Jason's grin soon matched his fathers, Jordan heaved a sigh "Now stop being so obsessive and help me with this carburettor." Jason gleefully complied.

Later on in the evening, Angela stared up at the imposing building before her, the immense size of it intimidated her. She didn't exactly know why it affected her so much, because the interior of the building was simply beautiful. But she always found herself hesitant to enter the residential block, it was possible to concede that this may have more to do with who lived right at the top of the structure then the actual place itself. She liked to spend as little time as possible in the company of Mr Catalano at the present, in order to retain her sanity. Particularly because she was finding it increasingly difficult not to show how much she still desperately wanted him, how much he still had an undeniable pull upon her soul. Angela mentally chastised herself for her cowardice and stepped inside, the cool air immediately relieving her flushed skin. The Summers evening was still full of the oppressive heat that had driven most people indoors that afternoon. The sheer warmth had surprised Angela greatly when she'd stepped off the plane from L.A, it was almost hotter in New York then in California. The light sundress clung to her back uncomfortably as she gave the doorman Daniel a smile "I'll just call up for you Miss Chase see if Mr Catalano is around. Save you going all the up there" he said in his usual friendly manner. Angela nodded in thanks and waited good-naturedly while he picked up the receiver and called up to the penthouse. Daniel replaced the internal phone on its perch and turned his attention back to her "Mr Lewis says they're down in the garages at the moment. Do you want me to override the code so you can go down?". Angela faltered for a moment, weighing up the options in her mind. While she didn't like being in Jordan's company, she preferred it exponentially more than Shane's, therefore she chose the lesser of two evils. "That would be great Daniel thanks" she said giving him a cheerful smile.

Jason was taking a short break, leaning against the dark wall and drinking a ice cold soda from the small fridge in the garage , when Angela walked in. He stood up straight and looked at her in surprise "Hi, what are you doing here" he said welcomingly over the loud music coming from the radio. Angela looked at her son's scruffy appearance, his t-shirt and face covered in grease, oil and many other grimy substances, and instantly decided she was not going to hug him. "I took an earlier flight, I tried to call you but your phone was out of range or something" Angela said simply, curious as to what exactly he and Jordan were up to. Jason looked at her shamefacedly for a second "Sorry. I just got a little carried away down here". "I can see that" Angela looked around the garage probingly, trying to see what they were working on, her eyes grew wide when she spotted the back of the red Plymouth. Without even thinking she groaned loudly "You have got to be kidding me.". Jason's face broke out into an ecstatic smile "I know isn't she magnificent. We've spent all day fixing her up ,so I'll be able to drive her soon." Angela scoffed loudly "Excuse me, you are not going near any of your father's cars. Especially that one." Jason's face fell and he looked at her rebelliously "It's my car in fact. Dad gave it to me." he said frowning deeply. Angela's jaw began to twitch in annoyance, she swallowed her urge to shout at her son. "Go upstairs and get changed please. I want to talk to your father alone before we go home" her voice was cool and full of suppressed anger. Jason began to protest but Angela shot him a warning glare "Go get your stuff together now Jason" she said more strongly. Jason huffed loudly and stamped off towards the elevator without another word. Angela stared back at the red car, her jaw jutting out in aggravation. She stomped across the concrete set on giving Jordan Catalano a piece of her mind.

It took Jason quicker than he expected to reach the penthouse, he rang the bell impatiently, hoping Shane wasn't out by the pool. The door opened after a few minutes. Shane eyed him in the doorway sleepily, his short black hair sticking up in points. "Hey little grease monkey, where's your Daddy?" Shane said warmly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Jason sighed harshly, rushing by Shane forcefully "About to get his head bitten off by my Mom". Shane shut the door gently and ambled after Jason up the stairs "I take it she doesn't approve of the car." Jason turned around heatedly in frustration on the stairs "Bingo. And now World War three is about to break out." The boy then whipped back around and thundered up the remaining steps to the second floor. Shane shrugged his shoulders and carried on after him, determined to stay out of this little family drama. Jason was already on the third floor by the time he'd reached the second, so he decided to leave him be. Shane was about to go back to his room to sleep some more when the phone rang shrilly in the kitchen. He half-hearted picked it up "Catalano residence, Shane speaking" he answered with a sigh. As the voice upon the phone revealed their business, Shane's face grew white and his knee's began to shake. The past was forcing itself violently into the present with a vengeance and Shane was blindsided.

Angela couldn't see Jordan behind the bonnet of the Plymouth as she approached it in a flurry of indignation. She was just about to shout at him when Jordan stood up from his crouched position and closed the bonnet skilfully, revealing his bare chest and striking her frozen in awe. Her entire body felt on fire as she gazed at him, never seeing him look so masculine and wild as he did standing there covered in oil and grease, his hair so effortlessly attractive in its haphazard messiness. Her nerves buzzed with uncontrollable anticipation and yearning, as she fought to quell the impulse to rush over and kiss him recklessly. Sure she'd seen him without a shirt before, but the years had turned his once well toned boyish body into a sculpted and pulse raising shape. He was her own personal Adonis. She pressed her arms across her chest as tightly as she could to suppress the throaty moan of arousal that was threatening to escape from her mouth, succeeding in keeping her awakened libido in check. She was not going be swayed from her mission by silly primal impulses, she was grown woman for god sake and not a horny teenager. Not that it made any difference when it came to her attraction to Jordan Catalano, with him she was eternally 15 and at the mercy of her hormones.

He jumped slightly, letting the wrench slip out of his grasp in surprise when he saw her standing there staring at him unreadable. Jordan switched off the radio beside him a gave her his attention. "Hey" he said uncomfortably "Where's Jason?". Angela did not soften her penetrating stare, her eyes solely fixed upon his face. "Upstairs, getting ready to go home." she said blankly, still visibly on edge. Jordan mistook her rigid stance and indecipherable expression as one of extreme annoyance. He sighed loudly and leaned against the car despondently "Look just get it over with already, I know you're pissed about the car." Angela considered the invitation to start an argument for a millisecond, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing how incredibly turned on she was by his present state, also knowing shouting at him would certainly release some of the troublesome pressure building within her. Yet she didn't take the bait, instead she looked at him condescendingly. "I am not having a serious conversation with you looking like that. So please for the sake of some sense of civility….put your pecs away" Angela said boredly, a ghost of a smile upon her lips. Jordan arched an eyebrow at her, dumbfounded by her calmness, and even more by her coyness. He shrugged his shoulder impassively and reached down to get his shirt, pulling it slowly back over his head. Angela stared at his stomach, enraptured by the movement of his well developed abs as he put his t-shirt on. Her gaze returned to his face before he noticed her wandering eye. Giving her mocking grin he sighed "Better Miss Chase". Angela returned his jeering look with a scornful smile of her own "Much, thank you". They stood there for a second, their arms crossed defensively, sizing one another up. Jordan braced himself for the torrent of fury he predicted she was going to rain on him, but she remained coolly and dangerously still . He shifted his weight from foot to foot, feeling increasingly more unnerved by her composure, but unwilling to lose face in this new game of cat and mouse.

Angela spoke first, breaking the silence of the Mexican standoff, her voice even and weary "In what universe did you think giving Jason a car was good idea? He can hardly ride a bike for god sake." Jordan scratched his head apathetically "You never had any problem driving it when you were his age." Angela smirked mockingly "And look how well that turned out" she pointed at the back bumper. Jordan gave a caustic laugh, "It's not my fault you don't take direction well. I tried my best to teach you important life skills". Angela rolled her eyes at him, knowing full well the comment wasn't solely referring to driving, her self-control slipping a little "The point still remains, it is highly irresponsible of you to give him this damn thing anyway" she said sorely. Jordan's smirk grew a little more devious, relishing the fact her feigned attempt at courteousness was quickly falling away. He always preferred to see her fired up at him then icily unmoved by his taunts. "Well as his father, it is my prerogative to choose when to pass on certain things to my son" Jordan replied insolently, trying to provoke a more heated response. Angela almost laughed at his response, prerogative was not a word she would ever have believed Jordan Catalano to utter in a normal conversation. The usage of it threw her off her chain of thought for a second, leaving her stunned and unable to come up with a quick fire response. Jordan smiled at her arrogantly as she scoffed at his rebelliousness "Your prerogative! Your prerogative as his father is to stop him from doing stupid things, not encourage and facilitate them" she spat out, her temper flaring. Jordan shrugged and continued to smile at her condescendingly, loving the fact her frustrations were rapidly overtaking her attempts at civility. Angela drew a deep breath, closing her eyes she calmed her rising irritation. "Look, I know you're still new to this whole parent-child relationship dynamic, but you can't keep acting like his cool older brother and saying yes to every whim he has." Her eyes were hard and deeply serious as she looked at him "You need to actually start acting like his father." Jordan's appearance of superiority fell as his own exasperation rose to the surface. "I do act like his father." he said with his teeth gritting strongly in his jaw. Angela threw her hands up in the air in annoyance "Then why am I the parent that always has to be the one to say no, to think maturely about things" Jordan fought the urge to throw the wrench at her, instead looking at her contemptuously with his eyes flashing furiously. "Jason is doing just fine with me, it's not as if I'm completely incompetent" he growled. Angela laughed bitterly "Oh really, then why is it since I've been in L.A Jason got in a fist fight?". Jordan's face drained of colour, he was unable to answer. "You didn't think I wouldn't find out about it did you?" Angela laughed again "Did Jason neglected to tell you the fight he started was a whole lot more serious then just a one on one brawl?". Angela shook her head in wonder "Joey McCarthy got arrested. Jason would have too only he spotted the cops before his friend and ran off". Jordan hung his head in shame. "Joey's mom called me the minute she heard. So now our son's best friend has a criminal record because he was defending your honour." Angela knew she'd made her point, she watched Jordan carefully as he digested all that she had said. He raked a dirty hand through his hair, sighing heavily "Shit!" he whispered harshly. Angela felt guilty when he looked back up at her dejectedly "Is he going to court or anything?" Jordan said visibly crushed. Angela's fury slowly dissipated and she shook her head gently "No. He got off with a warning". Jordan breathed out in relief, Angela remained staring at him as he gazed in disgrace at the grey concrete. "Just so you know, it's not the first time he's had problems with using his fist instead of walking away. So don't beat yourself up about it or anything." She muttered sullenly, but truthfully ."He can be hot headed sometimes." Angela added sympathetically. Jordan lifted his head and gave her a small smile of gratitude "I know" he mumbled. "He gets that from you" they said sarcastically at the same time. Angela and Jordan laughed at the absurdity of it, and gave each other the first genuine smile in months. Their shared smiles slowly faded as they stared at each other entranced by the moment. Jordan broke the increasingly intense eye contact between them, looking down at his scuffed boots he muttered softly "About the car, I really do want to give it to Jason. I just think I have a lot to make up for". Angela was surprised by his openness and decided to give in just this once. Despite his recklessness, Angela could see his heart was in the right place. She walked over to the car and leaned against it beside Jordan, sighing in grudging submission "Fine, but I swear to God if anything happens to him….I'll beat you to death with your stupid guitar". Jordan turned to her a flashed her a mischievous grin "I wouldn't expect anything less". Angela narrowed her eyes at him, but smirked amiably as they both turned to stare absentmindedly at the opposing wall.

Neither of them knew what to say next, so a comfortable silence descended in the warm garage. Jordan felt a familiar gnawing in his gut as her shoulder gently tipped of his, the heat radiating from her bare skin burning through out his body mercilessly. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, part of him wanting so much to close the small distance, but his head demanded for him to remain disengaged . He concluded they could at least try to be friends, even if he knew deep down they'd always be fighting that unquestionable chemistry the had.

As Shane entered the garage, he was greatly surprised not to find Angela and Jordan roaring at one another. On the contrary, they were sitting quite happily together on the Plymouth in silence, lost in their own thoughts. This made Shane feel even worse about what he was about to tell Jordan, he cursed fate for saddling him once again with being the messenger of doom. "Just suck it up Shane and do it" he muttered under his breath. Shane Lewis took a deep breath and walked with purpose across the hard floor, the sound of his footsteps loudly filling the space. Jordan moved away from Angela slightly when he saw Shane marching towards them. Angela looked at him with interest as he stopped in front of the Plymouth, his dark eyes full of anguish. "Catalano I need to talk to you." Angela began to rise from the car, but raised Shane his hand to stop her "This kind of concerns you too because of Jason, so hold up" he said bleakly. Angela sat back against the car and shared a look with Jordan. He shrugged and looked back at Shane. His friend steadied himself and heaved a sigh. "A few minutes ago someone called from St Jude's hospital in Three Rivers". Jordan slid slowly off the bonnet, his face growing concerned knowing right away this involved Mikey Catalano. Shane bit at his lip nervously, forcing himself with all his might to say the next sentence. "Jordan, your Dad's dead." Angela gasped loudly, her hand flying to her mouth in shock, her head whipped up to look at Jordan. He was standing still, frozen to the spot, his eyes wide and expressionless. "I'm so sorry man" Shane said quietly. Jordan blinked rapidly a deep frown growing across his face, his nostrils began to flare "When did it happen?" he said in a low voice. "This afternoon. His liver finally gave up and they couldn't find another one in time." Shane replied compassionately. Jordan nodded simply, his breathing becoming more and more shallow as he was growing closer to breaking down. "Yeah. Just how I thought he'd go" he said softy, his eyes growing distant. He walked to the side of the car and began to pick up the tools he used earlier. His hands shaking as he lifted the box and replaced them inside, he fumbled with some of the small items and they tumbled back onto the floor. Jordan banged the bonnet with the palm of his hand as he felt an overwhelming sadness rise up within him He became aware of Angela's hand on his shoulder "Leave it. I'll get Jason to do it" she said soothingly. Jordan looked at her with venom, he shook her hand off his shoulder and tensed up angrily "Don't tell me what to do Chase. Both of you get the hell out of my garage, Now!" he growled violently. Angela recoiled in fright, she shared a look with Shane. He stared back at her helplessly "Come on man. We can help you through this if…" .Jordan whipped around furiously interrupting his friend "Get the fuck out of my face Shane and leave me alone" he yelled and turned back to the toolbox belligerently. Angela motioned with her head unhappily for Shane to follow her and they ambled half-heartedly to the elevator. "I'll be upstairs if you need me" Shane added softly before the doors closed. Directly after he heard the elevator doors shut completely, Jordan felt his knee's go from below him. He sat on the floor, his defences fallen to pieces as he finally allowed himself to cry.

.


	13. Love and Revenge

**Hey all, so here's the really long chapter as promised. All 13,000 words of it. I'm not going to go into too much detail about it because it might ruin it. All I can reveal is there are a lot of twists and turns and I really enjoyed writing it. I'm kinda proud of it! Also since there had been a lot of Jordan bashing in the previous chapters, this one makes him a little more sympathetic. Please review…..especially because it's my birthday tomorrow! I'll update ASAP**

**-RedCatCatalano**

Five years, it had been five long years since Jordan had last seen his father. And in those lost years his father had turned into a frail, old man. Despite the fact that Mikey Catalano had only been fifty eight at the time of his death, physically the man looked at least a decade older than that. Jordan had noted when he'd reached the funeral home, the man he'd once feared the most ,now looked so tiny and insignificant in his coffin. Before his alcoholism had totally taken over his mind and body, Jordan had visited him every year at Christmas for a couple of days. He did it out of some misplaced sense of loyalty to his abusive father, even with all the man had put him through, Jordan couldn't totally cut him out of his life. He'd sent him money, knowing fully he was aiding his father's addiction. Unable to do anything else further to help his father he funded the dependence that was inevitably going to kill him. Mikey had refused treatment numerous times and Jordan had just turned a necessary blind eye to the situation. He found it fitting Mikey had died July 14th, Bastille day. In death Mikey was finally freed from his demons and the prison his addiction had been .

Jordan was numb as the coffin was nailed shut, unable to process how exactly he was supposed to feel. Every logical thought in his head told him he should hate the odious deceased man, but his naturally loving heart made him unable to. So he remained at an impassable crossroads, confused by his own feelings. Jordan stood by himself with the funeral director in the chapel, he'd demanded to be left alone while the coffin was getting ready for the service. Jordan wanted to say goodbye in his own way and it had to be private. As the final nail was hammered in, Jordan felt a quick kick to the gut and wrenching pain in his chest, but remained stoically silent. His face was a mask of stone as the workers slowly lifted the coffin out of the room and into the waiting hearse. He sighed heavily, he bit at his lip as he held back a tear threatening to fall, and little by little made his way out of the cold room. Shane watched him carefully as he approached the pick-up truck. Jordan's face was blank and devoid of any distinguishable emotion, but his eye's were stormy with unexpressed anguish. Jordan got into the drivers side and sat down cautiously, his hands gripping the steering wheel restlessly as he stared vacantly at the hearse ahead of them. Jason cleared his throat in the back seat "You ok Dad?" he said hoarsely. Jordan loosened the tie around his neck and frowned "Yeah I'm fine" he said brusquely . He turned the key in the ignition and the powerful engine roared to life "Let's just get this over with" he said firmly, his whole body tense and agitated. Jason caught Shane's eye in the rear view mirror and they shared a concerned look. Jordan shifted the red truck into drive and they rumbled after the gloomy hearse set for Three Rivers cemetery. The sky was grey as rain threatened to fall and the harsh wind caused the usually hot Summer air to drift further South, meaning the day was cool and cheerless.

Angela recognised some of the faces that surrounded the unfilled grave as she, Patty, Rayanne, Brian, Rickie and Jack sat down a couple of rows behind Jordan. The once youthful and handsome faces of boys he'd once hung around with in High school, were now haggard and hardened by difficult lives and circumstances. It seemed not many of the guys had been as lucky as Jordan in their evasion from the inescapable future fate had set them. Life was only kind to the very lucky. The ones that had become small business owners or had happy little families, were brave enough to venture forward to express their condolences to the mighty Jordan Catalano, but the unemployed and former petty criminals remained within their seats. A nod of acknowledgement and sympathy to their successful friends was all their self esteem would allow. But they had come at least, showing loyalty to their friend and shared history ran deep below their rough exteriors.

Angela hadn't spoken to Jordan since the day in the garage, nearly a week ago now. In fact she hadn't seen Jordan say much to anyone since then either. He'd completely shut down and gone into survival mode. Any conversation that could be dragged out of him was short and often irritated. She'd kept her distance, knowing it was what he wanted. Her presence was only tolerated because of Jason and any demonstration of sympathies by her would not be welcomed. Jordan was thankful for her understanding, sometimes she had a better knowledge of what he wanted then Shane, who had taken to following him everywhere. His attempts at helpfulness were quickly wearing thin and Jordan just wanted to be left alone.

Angela had to admit it was taking all her will power to stay away from him. All she wanted to do was hug, hold him tight and tell him everything was going to be ok. Any residual anger towards him had dissipated the moment Shane had told Jordan in the basement about Mikey and all that was left was an overwhelming need to comfort him and chase away that haunted look in his eyes. But the only people he'd let anywhere near him in that regard had been Patty and Jason, both of which had given him a brief embrace . Anyone else who'd even dared to suggest such action had been swiftly dismissed. So Angela ignored the pain in her heart which ached for her to take away his sorrow and stayed respectfully distant. Longing to hold his hand and kiss his cheek. To whisper soothingly that the pain and grief would pass eventually.

As the service was began by Fr Kavanagh, the priest who'd married his parents and baptised his brothers and him, Jordan looked over across the mound to the other sets of chairs. Over the dark wood of the coffin he could see the remaining members of the once great Catalano clan. There was his uncle Anthony, whose only smart choice taken in his life was suing the restaurant chain who'd nearly killed him with a rogue chicken bone in a pie. There was also uncles Marty, Guido Jr and Paul and aunts Tina and Lola. A couple of his cousin's sat behind them, most of whom had never done a goddamn honest days work in their lives, instead they'd hustled, stole and extorted any money they had. Slap bang in the middle of the dwindling kin sat Maria Catalano, the tough seventy five year old matriarch of the family. Her pure Mediterranean blood keeping her healthier and more keen in wits then her children. She'd lived through unspeakable abuse at the hands of her husband Guido, and the heart wrenching deaths of two of her children because of drugs and alcohol, now she was burying a third. Though all of this suffering had made her more hard hearted and uncaring to her remaining family. Jordan had always been intimidated by his grandmother, she was mean and unflinchingly hateful towards him, according to her he looked too much like his whore of a mother for her to love. Laura Catalano's name was akin to blasphemy in Maria's books and anything that was connected to her was something to detest and abuse.

Today Jordan met her piercing onyx coloured eyes with his own sharp and glaring blue ones, neither broke the stare. To do so was to concede submission, which Jordan was not going to allow. Especially today. Each one of his so called family had never given a damn about him until he'd found success. They'd over looked Mikey's blatant abuse and considered that Jordan had always gotten what he'd deserved. A firm and quick hand was the only way to educate a boy as dumb as him. Hell they'd even helped in searches to retrieve him the many times he'd run away to Shane's home, sometimes giving little smacks of their own to his head to straighten him up. That had of course changed once he had more money then all of them combined. Suddenly he was everyone's favourite son. And for a time he'd grudgingly shared some of his wealth, bound some unexplainable compulsion to help his relations out of their difficult situations. Yet of course this did not happen.

Shane's money had facilitated his younger sister get into medical school and his brother set up a chain of successful Ford dealerships, but unfortunately the Catalano's hadn't used Jordan's money to better themselves. Instead it had made them lazier and more abusive, content to spend his cash on booze and drugs then on their deprived families and children. The difference between his and Shane's family had always been at least the Lewis' were able to express some kind of love for one another, affection was never predicated on what you could get from the other person. So Jordan had stopped sending them money and they hated him more now then they'd ever when he was a kid. Their golden goose had refused to lay anymore eggs. Frankly Jordan didn't give a fuck, they'd crawl off back to their hovels on the other side of town and Pittsburgh once the service was over and he'd get his ass back to New York as soon as he could. He hated being back in Three Rivers. It made everything he tried to forget about his past ,rush to the surface uncontrollably.

Angela watched Jordan through the service, his posture not relaxing a fraction , he sat poker straight against the wooden back of the chair. He was flanked on both sides, with Jason on the right and Shane on the left. In the next seat two down from Shane, sat a man in an oversized suit Angela didn't know. A set of cuffs and long chain clung to his wrists and two sturdy prison guards complete with rifles sat either side. As the unknown man turned and gave her a slimy smirk she knew immediately he was Jordan's older brother Pete. They had the same coloured hair, Pete's peppered here and there with small amounts of grey, and a similar mouth and nose, but Pete's eyes unlike Jordan's were a moss green. Shrewd and menacing, he lacked the underlying softness of Jordan's gentle nature and natural kindness in his green gaze. Angela could his face had been every bit as devastatingly handsome as his brothers, but now was sunken and distorted by drug abuse and the brutal life of a prisoner. He was a little taller than Jordan but so painfully thin, he was no more then a brittle twig of man. She saw in Peter Catalano's threatening demeanour the face that may have become Jordan's if she hadn't intervened all those years ago. This was what happened when no one took the time to help those who'd been ignored or written off. What little information she had gathered from Jason and what Rayanne had been told years ago from Tino, was that Pete was serving a life sentence for drugs trafficking and murder in the third degree. He had at least fifteen more years left on his sentence and he was set to serve every minute of it. Pete gave her a wink before turning back around and Angela let go of the breath she was holding.

How Pete had been the one to end up in prison had never made sense to Jordan. Pete had always been the smart one, the one with a bright future. He'd gotten good grades in school, been on the basketball team and always protected Jordan when he could. Peter Catalano had been the one with a plan and the brains to get out of their shit hole of a town. But one day he'd just snapped, aged sixteen he'd taken off and left it all behind. Pete just couldn't stay in their house anymore, so he sacrificed his bright future for the chance to escape. Unfortunately his plan's of success had fallen through and he'd been forced to make difficult decisions in order to survive. The rest they say, was history. And so the brother that should have been a doctor or a lawyer became a criminal, and the brother that should have been an unemployable waster became a rock star. Such was life. The only difference that separated their destinies had been love. Jordan had allowed himself to be loved and give it in return, but Pete had not. Pete had not given himself the chance, too damaged to let anyone in. As they stood to throw a single red rose into the grave, Jordan stole a quick glance back to Angela, who was staring impassively at the ground. Jordan sighed, she was the reason he wasn't standing in chains too. True , she could hurt him like no one else could, but she'd shown him what it was to care for some else more than yourself. Angela had given him back his pride that his father and all the Catalano's had driven out of him. For that he could never thank her enough.

"Well the old bastards finally gone" Pete's husky voice said beside him.

Jordan turned to his older brother who stood directly in front of the grave.

"You have to be so crude Pete? He's fucking dead" Jordan said snappily. Pete shrugged his shoulders and kicked at the dirt.

"All he ever did was make our lives miserable, what do you care?" Pete said simply.

It was Jordan's turn to shrug his shoulder's, he just felt uneasy about speaking ill of the dead. Despite who they were in life, it was deeply disrespectful. He didn't share this fact with Pete, his brother would just laugh in his face. Jordan changed the subject instead.

"Have been sticking to the programme, you know, trying to kick the habit?" Jordan sighed, knowing full well Pete was still using.

"Trying is the key word kid. I'm trying." Pete gave him a gap toothed grin.

Jordan nodded "Well keep trying. You lose anymore weight you're going to start looking like a stick bug". Jordan gave his brother a half smile and Pete rolled his eyes at him.

"Shut up smart ass." Pete gave him a light punch in the arm "It's this stupid suit they made me wear. Makes me look smaller than I am".

Jordan knew this was a lie, he'd sent Pete the suit a couple of days ago, the measurements based upon the size that Pete had been the previous Christmas. His brother was wasting away and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. Jordan remained silent.

"C'mon Catalano, time to get you back to the big house" one of the guards came up behind him and grabbed Pete gently by elbow.

"Guess it's time to go home" Pete said jadedly "Will you come see me in October for my fortieth birthday?" Pete looked at his brother hopefully. Jordan smiled back at him .

"I always come see you on your birthday, this year's not any different"

Pete gave him a bright smile "You're a good brother you know that. Bring Jason too if you can, he seems like a great kid".

Jordan smiled proudly "I'll try. Take care of yourself Pete."

His brother nodded and let the guards lead him away to the prison van, he gave Jordan a small smile before the doors shut behind him.

The graveyard quickly emptied and soon only Jason, Jordan and Shane remained beside the newly filled grave. Jordan stared vacantly at the fresh flowers his grandmother had placed beside the shiny marble headstone, reading the name 'Michael Thomas Catalano' over and over again. The finality of the situation now fully sunken in. Shane shifted beside it impatiently.

"Do you want to go back to the house or….." .Jordan shook his head "No. You two can go but I want to stay here a little while longer."

Shane looked at Jason, silently prompting him to speak "We can wait a little longer with you if you want "

Jordan put his hand on his shoulder and gave him a slight smile.

"Nah, it's ok. I want a few minutes alone anyway, so you if you want to go to the house I'll be fine to walk back."

Shane hesitated ."I know the press has been quite respectful and stayed away, but I really don't want you walking all the way home by yourself. They'll hound you relentlessly once they see you.".

Jordan sighed, knowing Shane was right "Fine, but wait in the car." Shane nodded, he and Jason ambled slowly across the gravel path.

The late afternoon sun broke through the clouds, lighting the shady cemetery with pinks and warm orange glows. Jordan was unable to voice anything he wanted to say to his father, instead he sat motionless in front of the grave for a long time. He stood after a while and took a small stone from the gravel path. He gently placed it upon the headstone to show the words he just couldn't say, and walked off into the bright evening. The cemetery was quiet, the sole source of noise came from the birds calling to each other in the tree around the grounds. Jordan removed his suit jacket and slung it over his shoulder as the temperature rose pleasantly. As he got nearer to the car park at the other end, he began to hear a familiar voice coming from a row of graves ahead to his right.

He rounded a large chestnut tree to investigate and screeched to halt when he spotted Angela standing in front of a grave. She did not see or hear him, she stared absorbedly at the headstone with her back to him. Jordan retreated around behind the tree softly and watched her from his hiding place. She knelt down revealing the name on the headstone 'Graham James Chase'. Jordan felt a sudden rush of empathy, he'd almost forgotten she'd lost her own father not long ago. Angela sighed heavily and started to speak again.

"I guess all that has happened this past week has made me think about a lot of things differently. About how everything fell apart between us Dad and I realize it was wrong of us to give into such petty ultimatums. I should have forgiven you about Hallie, and you should have understood about Jason. But it's too late for that now really. Death makes you see how stupid all these small problems are." Angela smiled to herself "I called Danielle a couple of days ago for the first time in years, we had a reconciliation of sorts and made plans to spend some time together once she comes back from Paris." Jordan could hear her sigh contentedly as she ran her fingers over the new bouquet she'd laid on the grave. Her voice was once more serious as she spoke again.

"I see how messed up Jordan's family is and how he's able to get past all that and be a great father, and he is a good dad despite all the minor hiccups he's made. It just makes me feel guilty, ashamed I didn't let you back into my life in time. Guilty that I never gave Jordan a chance to be the man he wanted to be. And I'm furious at myself for depriving Jason of so many people, you included, because of stupid pride.".

Jordan's heart filled with warmth as he watched her and listened to her honest words. He'd never knew what she'd thought of his parenting skills and was proud to find she considered him a good Dad. He found for the first time in a long time, he only felt love for her and anger did not cloud his mind. This was the Angela he'd always cherished, the raw and sincere girl with the big heart.

"Dad I've fucked up so royally and I'm so tired of fighting. I just wish you were here to tell me what to do, to hold my hand and say everything will works it's way right again."

Jordan could hear she was close to tears, her voice was pained and nearly broken.

"I'm so afraid we're just one last battle away from total destruction, that I'll lose Jordan forever. I can't keep fighting for him, I'm exhausted from the effort. It's just relentless and I don't know what we're arguing about anymore. I'm so in lov….hell I don't know what I feel anymore. It used to be so goddamn simple…..but now…." She sighed again bitterly." Anyway thanks for listening. I'll come visit you before we go back to New York the day after tomorrow. I miss you Dad. Everyday."

Angela could sense someone watching her as she got up to her feet, she whipped around quickly to look, but saw no one. The cemetery was still and silent, the slight breeze shaking the leaves on the trees gently. Angela searched the area for a moment with her eyes and shrugged in disinterest. She walked the final yards to the car park and got into her sleek Lexus, quickly driving away. Jordan remained with his back flush against the trunk of the tree until he heard her car leave, his chest heaving as he fought to control his emotions. All the pent up anger, sorrow and frustrations that had plagued him about his father and Angela broke through and he slid towards the ground. He bellowed loudly in the quiet wood as hot tears fell from his eyes. He placed his head in his hands trying compose himself. After a few moments Jordan felt a warm hand upon his shoulder. Jason's bright blue eyes looked down at him compassionately "C'mon Dad. Let's go back to the house." he said softly. Jordan nodded numbly and got to his feet. Jason wrapped an arm around his father's shoulder and guided him out of the cemetery wordlessly.

The next day Angela and her friends sat in Brian's SUV outside Jordan's childhood home. They were there to help Jordan pack away anything that remained in the house to be moved to New York, or to be dumped in the skip outside. Angela had come also to collect Jason, but was unable to leave the car. The realisation of where she was, had freaked her to the point that she was practically immobile. This was the place she'd broken Jordan's and her own heart and irrevocably tied their lives together. Rayanne shifted in her seat impatiently and bit at the beads on her bracelet.

"This is stupid Angela. Let's just go in for the love of God" she huffed.

Angela pouted "Just give me a moment . The last time I was in that house, I got pregnant ! So I'm a little freaked out alright."

Rayanne rolled her eyes " Well this time use protection."

Angela scoffed loudly while Rickie and Brian tried to hide their smiles. Angela shook her head in disbelief ,but couldn't contain a small grin .

"You're as subtle as a brick ,do you know that." she sighed in defeat "Fine lets get this over with."

Jordan looked as though he hadn't slept all night when he'd opened the door to them. The beginnings of a light beard clung to his jaw and his short shaggy hair stuck out in random directions. Angela felt as though she'd taken a step back in time when she'd seen the red plaid shirt he wore over a white wife beater ,coupled with his scruffy, dishevelled appearance. Her heightened agitation grew exponentially as she was faced with Jordan Catalano circa 1995. Rayanne noticed this fact too.

"Damn Catalano, you trying to revive grunge or something? You look like you're attempting to channel Kurt Cobain in that get up"

Jordan almost blushed in obvious discomfort.

"I didn't expect it to be so cold in Pennsylvania in the middle of July, so I had to wear some of my old clothes. This was one of the only things I'd left, so shut up."

Rayanne shrugged and walked past him into the small house towards the kitchen . Brian gave him an apologetic smile "She's being a little forthright today so just ignore her."

Jordan smirked amiably "What's new Brain." They two men shared a quick smile and Brian followed his girlfriend to the kitchen. Angela was the last one in the door, as Jordan's eyes fell on her he gave her an uneasy grin.

"Hey" was all he said. "Hey to you too." she replied, returning his smile.

They stood there for a moment just staring at one another, Angela broke the awkward silence. "So what would like me to do?".

Jordan looked back into the rapidly emptying house, truthfully he didn't want her to do anything. It was making him incredibly nervous to have her in his house again, especially considering the conversation he'd overheard in the cemetery the day before. All that had happened the last few days was messing with his head, being back in Three Rivers with the familiar sights and smells were confusing him more than ever. It was harder to separate the undeniable feelings he had for her from his need for stability ,especially when they were both in the confined area that had witnessed the biggest moment in their relationship. The place where he'd told someone he loved them for the first and only time in his entire life, and meant it. He concluded, as long as they were not alone at any time, he could retain his good sense and judgement.

"Ehhh….you could help Rayanne in the kitchen. I need Brian and Rickie to help me with couches and heavy stuff". Angela smiled broadly and Jordan looked at her puzzled.

"What?" he said smiling in confusion.

"Just the idea of Rickie doing heavy lifting. It's funny." Angela continued smiling and Jordan's grin grew bigger.

"Well beggars can't be choosers" he said cheekily.

Rickie sulked at them, taking immediate offensive at the implication that he was useless.

"You guys are jerks."

Angela threw her arm around him and kissed his cheek. Rickie dark expression dissipated and gave her an unwanted smirk.

"I'm sorry for injuring your pride Rickie. You're all man."

Rickie shot her a withering look but sighed in submission "You're awful you know that."

He stepped away from her towards Jordan.

"C'mon, let's go lift stuff" he said unenthusiastically. Angela gave them both one last haughty smirk and went to help Rayanne.

They worked steadily till the late afternoon ,quickly stripping the house of possessions. The guys had removed most of the furniture from the upper floors, stacking it in the garage ready for the movers to collect later that evening. Rayanne and Angela emptied the kitchen and shelves in the living room, after a while they took a small break. They sat on the couch, which had yet to be removed, and watched the boys not too skilfully manoeuvre bed frames and chest of drawers out into the yard. Rayanne couldn't help notice how much Angela's eyes would light up as soon as she'd see Jordan, or the small heated glances he'd give her when he thought she wasn't looking. Rayanne knew if looks could speak, what was being exchanged between them was screaming a distinct mixture of longing and fiery lust. They were desperately fighting their very obvious attraction. The only cure for this unbearable tension between them Rayanne concluded, was physical action, words could only get you so far. Sometimes the only way to stop a total disaster, was to detonate the bomb yourself. Rayanne knew all they needed was a little push and the sexual energy would explode into the open, eliminating the antagonism between from their very palpable frustrations. And she had a plan to get them there. At this point all they needed was to be alone for more than a couple of minutes and nature would take care of itself, it was basic chemistry. What she'd learned from Krakow was that some combinations of chemicals couldn't help but react to one another. It was science ,plain and simple. As Jason came down the stairs with an armchair, Rayanne rose from the couch and followed him out the front door. When Jordan had gone back inside with Rickie, Rayanne grabbed the young man at the elbow.

"I've got an interesting proposition for you Junior, if you want to hear it." she said barely above a whisper. "Something which will probably solve this little situation you find yourself in with your parents."

Jason raised an intrigued eyebrow at her "I'm listening"

"So you in" Rayanne whispered as they came back inside the house. Jason nodded.

"How'll we get Dad out of the house." he mumbled . Rayanne frowned for a second thinking deeply. She snapped her fingers as an idea struck her. Making sure Angela was distracted by Rickie, she leaned in and whispered quickly to Jason. The teenagers face broke out in a wicked grin and he winked gleefully. Jason shuffled off silently to set the plan in motion.

"Damn it Jason" Jordan growled loudly as his son somehow tripped on thin air and landed on the cardboard boxes he'd carefully constructed earlier, crushing them completely to smithereens . There was still so much to pack away before the movers came and he really needed those boxes.

"Sorry Dad it was an accident." Jason said grinning sheepishly.

Jordan rubbed his temple in annoyance, he needed to go get some more as soon as possible.

"Yeah, it's always an accident with you." he helped Jason to his feet and gave him a frustrated frown. "Looks like I'll have to go to the store."

Jason gave him another embarrassed smile. Jordan sighed heavily and took his keys out of his pocket. "Try not to break anything else while I'm gone."

Jason hesitated for a second. "Dad I think you'll have to go to that place out by the highway. It's nearly five o'clock and the hardware store guy said they close at half four." Jason was blatantly lying but thankfully his father was too distracted to notice.

Jordan huffed loudly "Shit, that'll take me nearly a half an hour to get back."

He scowled visibly and stalked over his truck. As soon as he was out of sight, Jason raced inside. "Papa eagle has left the nest" he hissed softly as he ran past Rayanne to retrieve his cell phone. Rayanne grinned and set phase two into motion.

Angela had been just finished using the bathroom when she'd bumped into Rayanne on the stairs.

"Hey. You want to go, I think we've done all we can today to help." Angela said edgily, wanting badly to escape this house as soon as possible. It deeply unnerved her to find it smelled and felt exactly the same as it had the last time she'd been here. The memories and feelings flooded her mind and she couldn't handle the ache in her chest that had come with being here.

"Sure, but I think I left something in Jordan's room earlier. Do you mind getting it for me while I go round up the others?" Rayanne said nonchalantly.

A look of panic flashed across Angela's face as she reluctantly agreed. She'd avoided that room in particular all day. As she crossed the threshold a sudden rush of emotion filled her. She stood just inside the nearly vacant room and stared up at the familiar walls. The same band posters filled the space, now frayed and faded., hanging mournfully off the wall. Angela smiled gently as she remembered how she'd stared up at them in the half light of the dawn, safe and warm against Jordan's chest. Never so happy in her life as at that moment. Her ecstatic recollection was rudely interrupted by a new noise. Before she could stop Rayanne, the headstrong blonde had slammed the bedroom door shut and locked it firmly. Angela slapped the door loudly, shouting at her friend.

"Rayanne what the hell! Let me out ,this isn't funny!". Graff ignored the calls and sauntered down the stairs smugly.

"Yeah Shane, Dad asked could you hold back the movers for an extra hour. No he's gone to get some extra boxes. Yeah I'll tell him you'll be over at seven. Bye"

Jason closed the phone and grinned at Rayanne arrogantly.

"Remind me not to play Poker against you. It seems you're one hell of a liar" Rayanne said simply, clearly impressed by the teen. Brian came into the living room and looked around curiously "Where's Chase?". Rayanne gave her boyfriend a sly smirk.

"Where she's supposed to be. C'mon let's blow this popsicle joint."

Brian looked at her cautiously. "Sweetie, what did you do?" he said humorously, knowing he wasn't going to like the answer. Rayanne winked at him.

"Nothing, just speeding up the inevitable is all". Just then a loud roar came from upstairs, Brian knew immediately it was Angela. He moved to go up the stairs but Rayanne blocked his path.

"She's locked securely in Catalano's room, but perfectly safe. So don't worry" she said boredly.

Brian eye's grew wide "Are you insane? Why would you do that?"

Rayanne fixed him a hard stare "Aren't you sick of her and Jordan dancing around one another, the whole 'long meaningful stares' act is really getting on my nerves. So I'm forcing them to be totally alone, to sort this shit out."

Brian looked at her in exasperation "But…"

Rayanne cocked an eyebrow at him and he immediately shut up "Brian Krakow get your butt out to the car and start the engine. Jason you go with him and I'll get Vasquez." Brian sulked in indignation, but relented to Rayanne's demand and went outside. Lord did he hate how much he was whipped.

Angela rushed to the window as she heard the front door close and Brian's SUV roar to life. Jason smiled up at his mother boldly through the small space she could see out of.

"Jason Chase you get up here and let me out . Right now" she said in a low threatening voice. Her son just smiled deviously and got into the black car. Angela growled loudly in irritation, turning her attention to Rayanne.

"Graff let me out of here now or I swear to God you're dead when I get my hands on you." Rayanne laughed loudly "Believe me you'll thank me later". She got into the passenger side and the SUV pulled out of the driveway.

"RAYANNE! This isn't funny for fuck sake!" she roared loudly, knowing it was a futile effort. She swore she was going to kill Rayanne once she found a way out.

Jordan wasn't pissed when he returned to his house thirty minutes later and found it empty. His friends had done as much as they could today and he was grateful for their effort. Frankly he was glad to have a moment alone before Shane came over. It was the first time all week he was by himself in the house, to allow him to finally find closure on this chapter of his life. The house had already been sold and this would be the last day he'd ever spend in the place that had shaped so much of his character. As he turned the faucet on to get a glass of water, he became aware of someone calling his name. For a split second he felt fear grip his heart, convinced that a ghost had taken up residence in his father's house. Especially when the voice was accompanied by loud banging. This passed immediately as he realised the voice was distinctly female and demanding help. He made his way up the narrow staircase, following the noise.

"Jordan please get me out of here" Angela's muffled voice begged through the heavy wooden door. "Angela what the hell?" he said bewildered by her presence and even more by her predicament.

"Oh thank God your here. Rayanne locked me in as a joke and left with the others. I've been stuck here nearly a half an hour trying to break down the door". Jordan laughed softly and tried the door handle himself but it was securely fastened. He looked around for the key and saw Rayanne had most likely hid it

"Don't worry I'll get you out soon" he chuckled. Angela exhaled huffily on the other side of the door. "Stop laughing! It's not funny. I swear I'm gonna kick Rayanne's skinny little ass when I see her and Jason's too for that matter ". Jordan smiled broadly at the door but reigned in any remaining giggles. "Just sit tight for a moment while I get a crow bar from downstairs" he said calmly. Angela sighed softly "Thanks Jordan".

She sat against the door until she heard the cracking of wood ,as the metal tool strained against the doorframe. Angela leapt to her feet and grinned joyfully, knowing in a matter of seconds she'd be free. Jordan grunted in effort on the other side, the lock it seemed was stronger than he thought. "Angela I need to you push against the door, but not too hard" he said breathlessly. She did as requested and pressed her full weight against it. Jordan was nearly sweating from the energy he was using, but the door wouldn't budge Even with him using his full weight in levering the bar from his hunkered position, the wood was only cracking softly. Angela groaned in frustration. "I'm going to take a run at it and ram the door with my shoulder. Maybe it'll loosen it."

"No Angela don't….." before Jordan could finish his alarmed protest, Angela flung herself against the wood. The lock gave way and the door swung out, hitting Jordan square the face. Angela's momentum drove her forward out of the room and crashing into the stupefied Jordan. They both tumbled to the floor, with Angela landing heavily on his chest, knocking the wind out of him. Thankfully her knee's had landed against his, narrowly missed his groin at full force.

"Owww" she said weakly. Jordan was still beneath her, gasping for breathe.

Angela immediately scrambled of him in a panic and knelt beside him, her hands on either side of his head.

"Oh my god Jordan, I'm so sorry ! Are you ok?" she said frantically. Jordan lifted his hand to his reddening cheek a small bruise already threatening to form, his eyes tightly closed as the pain began to subside. Angela ran her right hand over his face willing him to respond.

"Shit, I didn't mean to do that . I'm so sorry. Please look at me so I know you're not concussed or something." she said with added concern. Jordan opened one eye and looked at her in clear annoyance, then suddenly broke out into uncontrollable laughter. Angela laughed too, at first in surprise and relief and then in genuine hilarity. She laid her head against his shoulder for a second as her whole body shook with giggles. Soon the laughter between them became unbearable and Angela collapsed fully onto the floor , still partially leaning against his chest. What else was there but to laugh at their stupidity, the whole scenario was like a comedy sketch.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Angela hiccupped loudly.

"Yeah. Don't worry. It's not the first time I got hit with a door" Jordan gasped through his raspy laughter. This set them off on another fit of giggles, clutching their sides in almost pain. After a while Angela became aware that Jordan had stopped shaking with laughter and was motionless beside her. Her own composure resumed slowly and she became subdued once more. Angela turned her head to see Jordan staring at her with an inscrutable look upon his tranquil face. She realised with a start, her right hand was still upon his face. Slap bang between his firm jaw and soft neck. As she went to lift her hand away slowly, Jordan's own hand reached up and placed itself upon it. He closed his eyes for a second and breathed in deeply. Running his thumb across her soft skin he shifted closer to her, his forehead set against hers gently. Angela's heart stopped as his eyes flicked open and burned into hers. Jordan slid his hand down her arm and across to her face, her cupped her face with the lightest of touches. His rough finger tips traced the outline of her cheek bone and Angela moved her face unconsciously into his touch. As her warm breath hit against his lips ,he felt an overwhelming need to kiss her. The familiar smell of her drew him closer, he saw her eyes close in anticipation as they lay millimetres from each other. Jordan was about to close the tiny gap between them, when his cell phone rang shrilly downstairs.

Angela swore under breath when he sat up and the spell was broken. She was going to strangle whoever had called him. It was a though he was a totally different person as soon as the phone had snapped him out of his daze.

"I should probably get that. I'll bring back to Krakow's after I'm finished." he said simply, furious at himself for what had nearly happened. This house was fucking with his head. Angela nodded bitterly in agreement and got to her feet half-heartedly.

Downstairs Jordan spoke on the phone quietly, while Angela looked in the boxes on the couch. They were full of stuff from Jordan's room that Jason had cleared out earlier. Her eye's fell on a familiar sheep skin jacket and she lifted it out smiling sadly. Pressing it to her face ,she breathed deeply. It smelled of smoke, beer and something that had always been distinctly Jordan, wild and free like a mountain spring on a warm Summers day. Her mind filled with memories of stolen kisses in the boiler room, eating ice cream in the back of his car and clear, soft nights spent lying in the grass watching the stars come out. She hugged it to her chest and sighed despondently, Jordan watched her as he pretended to listen to Robbie on the phone. He wondered how many times she'd worn that jacket, truly he'd always like it when she had because her scent would always cling to the fibres for days. It was comforting when he had a trace of her with him, long after they'd parted ways on her porch at night. He'd always thought she smelled like a mixture of cinnamon and chocolate, two of his favourite things in the world.

Angela placed the jacket back in the box. She went to stand up when she heard Jordan wrap up his conversation, but something near the bottom of the pile in the box caught her attention. Jordan watched in horror as she pulled out the letter, the letter she'd written him nearly sixteen years before, her mouth wide open in shock as she instantly recognised it. Her hands shook as she held the ragged, dirty piece of paper. She turned around to him slowly, her eyes shining.

"You kept it. After all this time you kept it" she said in awe.

Jordan scratched at his head uncomfortably, berating himself for leaving it in the box where she could find it. Usually he kept it hidden in a small recess of his wallet, where he would take it out at times to read ,when life was kicking him in the balls. It had become a safety blanket of sorts, a reassurance he was worth something when everything else was turning to shit. But he couldn't exactly tell her that.

"Yeah. I meant to throw it away a long time ago. I forgot the stupid thing was here to be honest" he said jadedly as he reached to get his car keys.

Angela could feel her temper flaring at his flippant attitude, she knew he was lying. Angela was so tired of this war with him, but she had also reached her breaking point. Her hand found a baseball in one of the boxes, and she hurled it at his head with as much power as she could muster. The ball struck the plaster dangerously close above him, cracking off the wall with great force.

"What the hell is wrong with you" Jordan squeaked in fright as he jumped away from the wall. Angela scowled at him angrily, her fists clenched tightly.

"Why are you like this?" she hissed in fury. He looked at her completely baffled.

"Excuse me?" he exclaimed in exasperation.

"Why are you like this?" Angela repeated even louder than the first time.

"Like what?" Jordan yelled, his panic forgotten as anger rose to the surface.

"Like how you are!" she growled stepping away from the couch.

Jordan gritted his teeth, his nostrils flaring in rage.

"And how exactly am I Angela?" Jordan blue eyes blazed with a barely contained frenzy of aggression. Angela shook her head in disbelief.

"So determined to keep me at a distance, so you can hate me!" she said sullenly, hurt sticking in her throat. Jordan scoffed and shook his head wearily.

"Don't you fucking get it. I've never hated you, that's the damn problem!" he mumbled bitterly. Angela looked at him thoughtfully, but her frown did not soften.

"Then why all the mind games Jordan? Why go out of your way to hurt me as much as you could?" she said evenly.

"Because every time I let you back into my life you destroy me." his gaze froze her to the spot. "And if it happens again, I'm not going to survive it this time." Jordan's anger was slipping rapidly into anguish and Angela's resolve began to chip away steadily.

"I'm only ever one more heartbreak away from turning into my damn father. And I can't do that to Jason. Look around you Angela, I've got nothing left".

Angela's hard glare grew gentle and all at once she understood.

"Jordan you're nothing like him." she said sincerely.

"How do you know? You've never stuck around long enough to find out." There was a sudden silence between them. It was as though all the air in the room had been sucked out of it, leaving them both gasping for air. Jordan didn't know why he'd said that to her, he knew it was grossly unfair, but he couldn't keep the pain inside him anymore. Her green eye's filled with sorrow for a moment, before she gave him a deadly glare. If looks could kill, he was sure he'd be dead upon the floor with the strength of that glower. As she stalked across the remaining space between them, her fist raised, he was convinced she was going to punch him.

"You're such a fucking coward Catalano" she murmured in a low enraged whispered as she reached him. Angela had, had enough and now she was going to take drastic measures, or simply she was going to murder him. She completely blindsided Jordan with her next action. Flashing him a wicked grin, she yanked his head down to her face, lips crashing into his with a fury and insistence that knocked him backwards against the wall. It took Jordan a couple of seconds to respond and his brain to catch up with what exactly was happening. His whole body felt like it was in fire as her hands pulled him closer than he thought humanly possible. Jordan had kissed hundreds of girls in his life, but he was sure not one of them had kissed him like Angela was doing right now. It scared and turned him on at the same time, she was a woman possessed. Not longer thinking, but acting without any thoughts of the consequences. It was as if she was drowning and he was her oxygen, her only salvation. She teased him with the skilful movement of her tongue against his and he thought he'd go insane with the intensity of it all. He was still so dazed by her passion, he soon found himself feeling almost faint. Jordan pulled back to catch his breath, her mouth following his fervently as he panted in exhilaration.

"Don't you dare you stop Jordan" she said smiling seductively against his mouth. Her usually big innocent eyes looked up at him sinfully, revealing the not so pure ideas she had in mind for them. He grinned back enticingly, his wits now regained

"I wouldn't dream of it" he said huskily. He leaned down and captured her lips with all the eagerness she'd shown him and he felt his ego inflate as a purr of pleasure escaped her throat. Angela bit at his lip hard, nearly drawing blood, eliciting a guttural moan from Jordan. Angela was totally bewildered by her own actions, she had never in her life been so reckless, yet she knew also ,never had her thirst for him been so strong . As soon as their lips had touched, it was like a fireworks on the 4th of July. Blasting off into a clear night sky, blinding them both with it's colourful brilliance.

Jordan roughly turned them both, switching their position he pressed Angela hard against the wall. The years apart had levelled the playing field in terms of experience and Jordan became painfully aware of his fact as Angela's hips grinded against his crotch expertly. The effect she intended became apparent quickly as Jordan groaned, his pants becoming uncomfortably tight around his groin. Angela smirked slightly in self-satisfaction as his increasing arousal pressed into her. Jordan didn't know whether it was the fact he hadn't had sex in months or the heat that was rapidly building up between them, but he began to feel light-headed as the blood rushed down into his nether regions. Any coherent thought left him as Angela slipped a soft hand in the space between their bodies and under the waist band of his pants and boxers, touching him achingly slow. Stirred on by his hair trigger response to her touch, she became even more adventurous, running her fingers along his confined hardness. Before he'd become conscious what he was doing, he yanked the shirt from over her head and threw it away. Angela reciprocated the deed by ripping his shirt open, the buttons bouncing all over the floor ,and sliding it off his firm shoulders. Smiling against his lips she pulled the wife beater up and dragged it off him, trailing her fingers up his solid abdomen muscles. Jordan shivered in delight and pulled away slightly, kissing her suddenly tantalisingly slow. Goading her into kissing him harder and fast, her fingers tangled snugly in his hair at the back of his head. The soft part near the nape of his neck, that Jordan knew to be her favourite spot to grip onto . Once he'd gotten the reaction he wanted, when she whined in agitation at his teasing, he quickly began to answer back her ardent speed again. This was a battlefield, and he was not going to let her win the war without a fight. Jordan was going to make her as desperate for his touch as he was for hers. Both of them were well past the point of no return, their common sense yelled at them to slow down, but the urgency of their raging hormones kept cold logic silent. It was like they were stuck in the middle of a storm, exhilarated by the flashes of lightening and rumblings of thunder, they no longer caring if a rogue bolt would strike them down dead. The atmosphere was too charged with electricity for them to stop, they were feeding off its energy gleefully.

Every nerve in his body was raw and exposed as everything became more and more frantic. Jordan felt as though he was outside his body, watching the whole event, barely aware of what his wandering hands touched. As long as it was bare skin he caressed, the demon within him was happy. His finger tips brushed over her breasts and stomach, roaming further and further south in order to seek revenge for the tormenting she'd done to him earlier. He trailed kisses down Angela's neck and uncovered chest as she bucked in satisfaction against him. Jordan's heart beat as loud as a drum in his chest and his pulse throbbed painfully against the increasingly restrictive boundaries of his pants. He had to have her soon or he'd go insane. Fortunately Angela thought exactly the same. In one smooth action she raised her legs while he held her ass securely and she straddled him, anchoring herself firmly against his hips Without breaking the contact of their bruised lips ,Jordan lifted her away from the wall and sat her upon the kitchen counter, smashing a lamp along the way as he forcefully made their way across the linoleum floor. Anything that had been left on the counter quickly found its way to the floor ,as Angela swept it away behind her.

When Jordan had removed Angela's jeans, he paused for a second as if reason was beginning to take hold. This was the last chance for them to stop before they totally destroyed each other. But then she gave him a searing look of yearning and lust, her face flush with excitement and he was lost in her once more. Angela pulled him on top of her as they lay back against the counter, relishing the weight of his body against hers. Jordan nipped at her neck as she deftly removed his pants. With no physical barriers left between their blazing skin, there was no further deliberation or thought, their oxygen starved brains dizzy as they clung to one another. There was only impulses and primal action, natural and easy as breathing. Angela whimpered in ecstasy as they final came together completely and Jordan pushed powerfully into her. It was brutal and fast, the tenuous brink between pleasure and pain. Their already laboured breathes coming out sharp and furious. This was not about love, though it burned involuntarily beneath all the hurried action, this was possession. Both them wanted to claim the other, body and soul. To own the very fabric of their souls. Angela urged Jordan to move quicker and deeper as she pressed her legs tighter into his hips and her nails into his back, scratching him wildly. Blind with passion they dug further in desolation. They were drawing closer and closer to the edge, the heat of it all became unbearable. Angela bit her lip violently as she reached the peak first. Jordan followed not long afterwards when he felt her body quake beneath him, the suppressed groan of his name upon her love beaten lips.

The release of it all, the tension, the anger, the yearning, had left him spent and exhausted. Jordan collapsed against her, his head buried against her shoulder. They remained there still and motionless for a moment in a daze, their heart rates slowing and their breathing returning to normal. The reality of what exactly had happened, what they'd done, finally penetrated their brains. This sudden realisation caused Jordan to bolt backwards, scrambling off her and onto the floor. He backed away from her, sliding down the wall weakly as he met it with his back.

"Fuck." Jordan growled, covering his head with his hands. This was exactly what he had been trying to prevent, giving into his craving for her when he was still so fucked up in the head.

Angela could feel tears threatening to fall as an overwhelming sense of emptiness overtook her, she'd never felt as emotionally exposed in her life then at this moment. When it came to their relationship, Angela had always felt like she was trying to control a speeding car, never quite getting the turns right. At this moment they were heading at full speed, closer to the brink and seconds from crashing and burning. She sat up on the counter and looked at him ,willing him to say something, anything that indicated what had just happened had meant something to him. But he stayed sitting upon the floor, cut off and ignoring her. She laughed bitterly.

"Unbelievable! How could I be so fucking stupid" she muttered. He was never going to change. Still so determined to remain distant and as uninvolved emotionally as he could. So terrified to admit he actually cared as much as he did. His cowardice cut her more than anything else. She was furious at herself for falling for it again, for thinking he was still capable of being who she knew deep down he was. Maybe he'd never be that boy again, the one who'd offered to move in with her just so she wouldn't have to leave. Maybe that Jordan had died when she'd left. What she was sure of, was that she had to stop deluding herself and finally accept reality. Angela concluded only way to save yourself from an inevitable car wreck ,was to bail while it was still in motion. And that's what she was going to do. Use her anger to permanently severe her obsession with him. She slid off the counter and quickly got dressed, her hurt and anger building steadily.

Angela picked up Jordan's pants and threw them at him, snapping him out of his state of confusion.

"Put your pants on and take me back to Krakow's now Jordan" she said caustically, so enraged she couldn't look at him fully. Jordan raised his head and saw her for the first time, her jaw clenched and eyes fiery. She stared down at him in her semi-clothed state and he knew she was waiting for him to say something. He knew that if he didn't ,she was going to lost to him forever, that this was his last chance to make amends. Jordan's head screamed for him to talk, to speak openly even if it was stupid and awkward in expression. He knew what he should say, hell he'd always known. But the 'I love you' was stuck just at the tip of his tongue, just like it always had been. He willed himself to open his mouth and say anything, but his facial muscles would not comply. Jordan tried his best to communicate what he couldn't utter through the look he gave her from the floor.

Angela shook her head in incredulity, she couldn't believe him. His puppy dog expression did nothing but enrage her. She pulled her jeans closed and slipped on her shoes. Grabbing the keys, she gave one last disgusted glare.

"I'll wait in the car until your ready. So please, hurry up and stop languishing on the floor" she said resentfully before slamming the door after her. Jordan thumped the floor with his fist. He'd blown his chance. Again.

The short drive over in his pick-up seemed endless as Jordan stole glances at Angela. She stayed staring out of the passenger window, sitting as far away from his as possible within the cab. An uncontrollable chasm was opening between and Jordan felt helpless. She wouldn't look at him, not once in the entire silent journey did her head shift position. He knew this meant she was beyond just being hurt, she was livid. He wanted so greatly to reach across the small physical distance and touch her, show her what his words could never do. But he didn't, he couldn't because she deserved so much more than meaningful looks and heated embraces. She'd always read too much into things and, for her actions never spoke louder than words. Angela needed to be reassured, she was worthy of sonnets and haiku's and many other forms of poetry that he could never hope to understand. Angela was no longer some naïve little girl who could be subdued with a breathless kiss, and he was certainly not some clueless, insecure little boy. He knew what he felt. So why was it so hard for him to tell her that?

Jordan sighed loudly as he stopped the truck smoothly outside the Krakow residence, the scenario that they found themselves in was so achingly familiar it made him feel sick. It was once more ,Jordan at a loss as to what to say and Angela wishing despairingly for him to give her a glimpse into what he was thinking. Angela exhaled wretchedly, her despair overtaking her anger. She finally looked at him for the briefest of seconds, her attention switching to the house across the street. The house she'd known so well was now a dark stranger. She wondered what her life would have been like if they'd never left its safe confines. Would she be who she was, would Jason even exist? Hell would any of the versions of themselves even exist. But did make all the heartache worth it? For the shortest of seconds she was fifteen again, begging for Jordan Catalano to love her. Waiting patiently for some signal that he cared before she had to go inside in order to abide by her curfew. How many times did history have to repeat itself before they could get it right?

When Angela looked at him fully, Jordan could see in her eyes the anguish she felt. This very obvious duplication of their past was deeply affecting her and it was all his fault. All he had to do to solve everything, was speak, but nothing was coming out.

"It's so weird being here again" she said almost dreamily. Jordan nodded awkwardly "Yeah it is" he replied softly ,staring at his hands. They sat in silence unsure of what to do next. Angela shifted the stilted conversation onto something more neutral, in the vain hope it could open out onto something else.

"Emmm I don't know if Jason told you, but we're all going up to the Hamptons in a couple of days until the start of August. Hope that's ok?" she said with anticipation.

Jordan nodded slightly "Yeah no problem" he said blandly.

Angela continued on, gazing at him frantically.

"The thing is, Mom's not coming down till Wednesday and her car broke down…so…"

Jordan cleared his throat, not realising that it was an unspoken invitation for him to come too. "If she comes over on Tuesday night I'll give her the keys to the Plymouth, she can use that if she wants."

Angela completely mistook this indifference to her offer as a snub and she felt her confidence collapse. "Yeah…that'd be great" she said dejectedly. Angela looked at him searchingly for a moment before frowning slightly. "Anyway I'd better be going" she said blankly. She didn't know how he could act as if nothing had happened, it tore at her more then she thought possible. Jordan could see in her eyes she was pleading with him to act, to fight for her. She turned to open the door, tensely withholding the floods of tears that were trying to fall and Jordan could see it was now or never. Pushing with all the effort he could muster, he formed a coherent phrase.

"Angela wait" he said insistently. Angela held the door half open, staring back at him hopefully. Jordan gulped visibly, struggling to stay calm. He had so much he could say to her. He'd tell her how he'd drove by her house everyday for six months in the desperate hope she'd come back to him. He could tell how he'd dedicated a song to her at prom, or that he still had dreams about the night he'd told her he loved her. Jordan could tell her that was always his favourite dream. His brain roared at him to speak, to say anything. To say the first thing that popped into his head as long as he'd stop gaping like a fish.

"Don't forget sun block." he blurted out. The stupidity of it stopped anything else from leaving his mouth and he immediately went silent again. Angela looked at him confused and slightly angry. She rolled her eyes in irritation and charged out of the car and up the driveway. Not once looking back at him. Jordan rammed his head against the steering wheel over and over again in frustration. He was a grown man and the best he could come up with was 'Don't forget sunblock'. It was official, his life sucked.

Rayanne heard the front door slam violently from the living room and instantly knew things had not gone as planned. She shared a look with Brian before rising from her position beside him on the couch. It was apparent part of her plan had played out as intended when she saw Angela's messy appearance, but it seemed something had gone terribly wrong. Angela was already half way up the stairs before she caught up with her. She held her back gently at the elbow, forcing Angela to stop.

"Angelika what's wrong?" Rayanne said softly.

Angela ripped her arm away and gave her a murderous glare.

"How about next time you decide to help me, you just don't!" she snarled.

Her friend stalked up the remaining steps and shut her bedroom door loudly. Rayanne's face grew dark and she knew right away what she had to do. She marched back into Brian, snatching the newspaper off him. Brian looked up at her bemused.

"Sorry baby, I need this for a minute" she said gruffly.

Jordan remained with his head pressed against the steering wheel, humiliated by his own idiocy. He barely registered the noise of his car door opening or Rayanne's angry voice.

"I could kill you Catalano" she roared and began assaulting him with a rolled up newspaper. She swung it down hard, striking him wherever she could. Jordan lifted his hands in surprise, trying to protect himself.

". GOD. STOP ...ANNE" He stuttered.

"What did you say to her?" she roared stopping for a moment. Jordan held his hands in defence. "Nothing. I said nothing" he said in exasperation. Rayanne realised the implication of this statement almost in a blink of an eye, she walloped him hard on the head. "You said nothing! How could you say nothing?" she snarled.

"I didn't know what to say" he exclaimed. Rayanne scoffed in disbelief, the newspaper limp at her side. She shook her head.

"She's been helplessly in love with you for 16 years and you still haven't figured it out, have you? All you ever needed to say was it meant something to you, that it wasn't just some notch on your bedpost. That you gave a shit" Rayanne hissed. She banged the door closed and gave him a sneer.

"You're a fucking retard, just like you were back in high school."

Rayanne stamped back towards the house, discarding the crumpled paper in a nearby shrub and walking inside. She went upstairs as soon as she got inside the door and set about locating her friend. Angela was sitting on the bathroom floor crying hysterically when she found her. Rayanne sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder and Angela buried her head against Rayanne immediately.

"Jordan Catalano's an asshole" she wailed. Rayanne sighed wearily, déjà vu was fucking bitch.

"Yeah I know Angela .I know. If it makes you feel any better I beat him over the head with the _New York Times_." Angela lifted her head to look at Rayanne in amazement, her red rimmed eyes unnaturally wide.

"You did?" she choked out. Rayanne nodded and Angela wailed louder.

"You're the greatest friend ever". Rayanne rubbed her shoulder soothingly and laughed gently. "I know." she said wryly.

Jordan had driven home soon after the attack by Rayanne, his face still smarting from the impact. He saw Shane tapping his foot impatiently by the front door, his face petulant and anxious .Jordan had forgotten his friend was due over in the midst of all the drama, he was not best pleased with the company. Shane would never understand his gloominess once he found out what had happened. Shane huffed loudly when he spotted Jordan. "Where've you been man? I even delayed everything till seven like you asked Jason to tell me." Jordan frowned, he'd never told Shane seven, it seemed Jason had been in on Rayanne's plan too. He was going to throttle his son later for that.

"Sorry man. I got delayed with some stuff I had to sort out" Jordan sighed apologetically. Shane made a face but said nothing more. Jordan looked around.

"Where's the movers?" he said confused. Shane shrugged "They said they'd be back by nine. They wanted to get some food since you weren't here."

Jordan didn't make any further comment and unlocked the front door. Shane looked at him suspiciously, a large smile drew across his face when he saw the small pile of destruction in the house. Joining the dots very quickly ,he knew what Jordan had been up to that evening.

"You dirty old dog you." he said boldly. Jordan stared at him puzzled.

"Ehhh… what?". Shane flashed him a devilish grin "You totally had sex today. Wild and rough, by the looks of things, sex." Jordan's blushed brightly, unable to stop his reaction.

"Don't be so stupid. No I didn't." he replied touchily. Shane arched an eyebrow at him.

"Please spare me the bull Catalano. The house is in shit, there's things all over the floor for no reason and most obvious of all…..you're doing that weird walk you do when you've recently blown a nut. You screwed someone today. Plain and simple". Jordan pouted, but did not bother arguing. There was no point, Shane knew him too well. Shane smirked cockily knowing he'd caught him red handed, but he wanted details.

"So anyone I know" he said smiling, poking his friend in the ribs causing Jordan to squirm away. He looked uncomfortable for a moment with the question, he steadfast avoided his friends eye's shifting awkwardly fro foot to foot. Shane's face grew white as he understood what this meant.

"Oh Jordan tell me you didn't. Angela Chase!" he said shell shock. Jordan's guilty expression said everything Shane needed to know. "Are you fucking insane?" he exclaimed, shoving Jordan a little. Jordan looked at him despondently.

"Don't worry I'm pretty sure she hates me now" he said sullenly, turning away from his friend. Shane was intrigued by this revelation "Why?" he said curiously. Jordan's cheeks grew red in embarrassment, knowing Shane was going to give him shit about it later.

"Well afterwards I…..kinda leaped off her and didn't talk. I was so confused over stuff I practically didn't know my ass from my head. There was so much I could have said to her to let her know that I gave a damn…..or whatever, but my mouth and my mind wouldn't work together. So I didn't say anything. The only thing I could say to her was 'don't forget sunblock' which is… like beyond stupid.!".

Shane bit at his lip as he fought to quell a sudden rush of laughter. Jordan saw this and was instantly enraged. "It's not fucking funny Shane" he yelled . Jordan stalked over to the threadbare couch and flopped down in a flurry of indignation. Shane finally controlled himself and went to kneel beside his friend. He gave him a cajoling grin.

"C'mon it's a little funny. You could convince the most frigid nun to give you a lap dance with one look, but you can't tell Angela Chase you're in love with her". Jordan opened his mouth to protest but Shane got there first.

"Don't even tell me you're not in love ,because crushes of this magnitude don't last 16 years bud." Shane gave him a pointed look and Jordan slumped in defeat.

"You know it's not that easy Shane, you've never said it to anyone." Jordan muttered sorely. Shane chuckled at his friends immaturity "No I haven't, doesn't mean I won't when the time comes". Jordan bit at his thumb, anxiety over his mistake causing him to fall back upon his nervous habit. Shane looked at his friend thoughtfully and spoke again. "You can't keep playing with her heart Jordan, she may totally worship you in a kind of creepy way, but she's not going to wait around forever. And if you let her go, you'll regret it" he said firmly.

Jordan's head whipped around swiftly, his eyes round in astonishment.

"What? I thought you hated her!" he wheezed in surprise. Shane gave him a half smile

"I still do. But I don't think you'll be happy with anyone else but her. I mean you've tried." Shane placed a hand upon his shoulder. "For a long time I was scared stiff that she'd take away my best friend, so I did some things I now regret. But I'm not going to stand in your way anymore, no more underhand tactics or snaky comments. I promise…..I'll try." Jordan smirked at his best friend "Why the sudden change of heart Lewis?" he said enquiringly. It was now Shane's turn to blush.

"Ehhhh…just I have a greater understanding of certain things recently." he said coyly. Jordan grinned, enjoying not being on the receiving end of this situation.

"Does Shanie have a little crush on someone?" Jordan said in a childish tone. Shane avoided his gaze "Just shut up ok." Jordan began to poke him, just like Shane had done to him. "Who is it?" he repeated over and over again. Shane's face grew bright scarlet.

"It's Regan ok. I've been calling her everyday and….I really like her. So shut up". Jordan smirked and gave him a light punch. "Welcome to the heartbreak club man" he said in a mock upbeat voice. Shane rolled his eyes. His expression began to grow dark.

"Look. You need to figure out what you want Catalano….and fast. If you want Angela, stop being such a pussy and tell her the truth or some artsy schmuck with a flashy hair cut and no personality is going to come along sweep her off her feet." Jordan nodded solemnly, he hated when Shane was so goddamn right.

It was well past midnight as Jordan sat in the cab of his truck outside Krakow's house. Angela had taken an earlier flight with Jason that night, unable to stick being in Three Rivers anymore and Jordan was now depressed to say the least. Once he had finished up in the house with Shane, he come here set upon fixing everything, even though he was still utterly in turmoil. Instead of meeting an enraged Angela, he met Rayanne who had hit him again with a newspaper and ordered him to get out and leave Angela alone. He'd watched them leave for the airport, hidden in the shadows, as his heart broke. His only consolation was that Jason was clueless to what had happened, judging by the fact he was still texting him incessantly. Jordan stretched in the cab restlessly and decided to hit 'Vertigo' ,the only place open at this hour on a Sunday night.

The place smelled exactly the same as it had when he was a kid, wood chips, stale beer and vomit. It smelled like home. The place was nearly empty, a few hipster kids sat in one corner watching a friend of their's at the open mic stage. Other than that ,a couple of older men and couples sat amongst the tables.

"Catalano?.I don't believe my eyes. It's Mr Superstar himself!" Jimmy the barman smiled at him over the counter. Jordan reached over and shook his hand, smiling happily.

"Long time no see Jimmy. How are you?" Jordan said genially.

"I'm good but….what the hell are you doing in this dump?" the barman said in excitement. Jordan shrugged and looked around the familiar space.

"I was just around. Wanted to see the place where all started is all" Jordan said simply.

"It never changes Catalano, once a shit hole always a shit hole. Sorry to hear about the old man kid" he said sympathetically. Jordan gave him a small smile of gratitude. A thought suddenly occurred to Jimmy.

"Say do want to have a little sing tonight since you're here. I mean once that fuckers finished. For old times sake." Jimmy said hopefully. Jordan nodded in agreement.

When he was younger, music and singing were the only ways he'd ever really be able understand his own emotions and express them. As he took to the intimate stage, he realised that this was exactly what he was doing right now, finding guidance and solace in music. The crowd had suddenly grown almost four times what it had been, as word got around. Jordan didn't mind Jimmy using him as a draw, Vertigo needed the extra business in the recessionary times.

Jordan picked up the beaten guitar and plucked it softly before he began. He started to sing without any conscious decision as to what it was he wanted to perform, he just opened his mouth and went with it. What came out was what his soul needed to express, he wasn't just performing but understanding all the pain that lay beneath the surface.

'I want your lovingAnd I want your revengeYou and me could write a bad romanceI want your lovingAll your love is revengeYou and me could write a bad romanceOh woh oh woh ohCaught in a bad romanceOh woh oh woh ohCaught in a bad romance'

For all the bad things that came out of his relationship with Angela, he was certain of one thing. Despite all the pain, it was worth it.


	14. Hurricane

**Hey everyone, sorry it has taken a month to update but I've been snowed under with work. I'm just finishing up my finals at the moment! Anyway I must tell everyone that unfortunately this is going to be my last update for a couple of months. I'm off to NYC for the Summer and I won't be back till September. I hope you all understand. The even more unfortunate result of this, is the hiatus will leave the story on a very tense cliff hanger (Which was not by original intention to leave it here for 4 months!). Other than that…I enjoyed writing this new chapter and I hope you like. Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter (3girlsmom, WonderingAngel, Marion Davis,Danigirl2259,gagirl29, spice girl and particular Creceant who made my month with your comment!) you were all so great. I was surprised by how much people liked the last chapter. Anyway I promise to finish up D.L when I come back from my U.S adventure.**

**See you soon**

**-RedCatCatalano**

Rayanne Graff did not like to sit idle .A week had already gone by since she and Brian had gone down to the Hampton's to join the Chases and she was going a little insane. It wasn't as if there was nothing to do, but Angela seemed content to only sit on the deck and stare off into the ocean, silent and lost in her own thoughts. Rayanne had seen her writing in a notebook a few times, but other than that she'd spent hours just sitting in the sun contemplating life, talking only when spoken to. Her mood was as changeable as the wind, bouts of aggravation would rear up from nowhere, particularly towards Jason. Rayanne knew exactly why he in particular took the brunt of her temper, sometimes it sucked to look like Jordan Catalano. Rayanne knew she was still hurting over Jordan, that much was clear, but Angela's gloominess was beginning to worry her. Rayanne's anxiety and frustration was lessening though, Rickie and Jack were arriving tonight and they were all going out for dinner. Still Rayanne felt it necessary to shake her best friend out of her reverie, frankly she'd had her fill of Angela's moping. Enough was enough. There was only so many times she could play scrabble with Brian and Patty or read her book. Unlike the others, she didn't have the luxury of going swimming, she was terrified of the water. The most fun she'd had, had been watching Jason trying to drive his red car around the huge driveway. She knew it was bad when she considered watching someone fail at driving a fun activity. This was her vacation too and she wanted to go explore the town, she'd only seen the local grocery store for god sake! Rayanne concluded drastic action was needed.

Angela lounged in the deck chair, her pen poised over a fresh page. She looked out into the churning sea and smiled slightly, the warm breeze tickling her skin. She loved it here, the peace of it all soothing her troubled soul, the smell of the salt refreshing and calming all at once. Over the past 12 days she'd been in the spacious beach house, Angela had considered frequently buying a similar place to the rental and living by the Ocean permanently. The notion appealed to her a lot, the thought of spending her days sitting staring off into the ever changing cerulean water and just writing made her feel excited. Hell ,she could afford it now she had more money then she'd ever need. Angela sighed loudly, she knew it was irrational. For one, Jason and her mother would object quite vocally, they loved the city. In reality she knew after a while she'd be bored, driven insane by the serenity of it all. But just for a moment she clung onto the possibility, the option, that she could escape. The longer she could delay going back to the city, the longer she could avoid the reality of why she spent so long in quiet reflection. Since they'd arrived here she'd managed to keep Jordan from her thoughts, determined to get on with her life and not let her heartbreak overrule her senses. Of course it was easier said then done, but she was slowly healing. She had to.

Jordan had stopped trying to call her a couple of days ago, she never answered anyway. Finally she had the space to reassess her life, to rebuild the walls around her heart that had been carefully constructed through the years apart . Angela knew she was making progress, the fevered dreams of him were coming less frequently and most nights she could close her eyes without seeing his face in her mind. But ,when she did dream of him, it would shake her down to her very core, awaken the need for him. The insatiable ache for Jordan's presence and those sapphire eyes that could see deep down into her soul. Often when she awoke from those dreams she would weep, feel as though her efforts were for nought. Angela Chase could never forget about Jordan Catalano. Angela Chase could never stop loving Jordan Catalano.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Rayanne pulled her notebook away from her suddenly.

"Hey!" Angela exclaimed in annoyance.

'C'mon Sylvia Plath it's time to interact with the real world" Rayanne smiled cheekily. Angela stood up and reached out to get her notebook back.

"Give it back Graff" she said huffily. Rayanne grinned devilishly and tossed the book inside one of the upstairs bedroom windows. A slight crashing noise could be heard, a few seconds later Brian's blonde head peeped out.

"What the hell Rayanne, you just broke one of the vases and the glass went all over my case files" he shouted angrily. Rayanne looked at him sheepishly.

"Sorry Krakow, it was just trying to get Angela to rejoin the human race".

Angela rolled her eyes and placed her arms across her chest, her irritation growing.

"Brian if you wouldn't mind, please throw my notebook back down to me" she said jadedly. Brian looked from Rayanne to Angela pensively.

"No" he replied simply. Angela looked at him in disbelief.

"What?" she spluttered

"Rayanne's right, you need to actually engage with other people. I'll keep your journal safe till the end of the trip." Brian said without any emotion.

"You're confiscating my journal like I'm some disobedient child! What the hell!" Angela exclaimed.

"It's for the best" he said with a slight smile. Angela scowled at him and shook her head, incredulous to the situation. Brian shrugged his shoulder's and went back inside the room. Angela turned to Rayanne, shooting her daggers.

"I can't believe this" she muttered. Rayanne gave her a good natured grin.

"C'mon let's go into town, do some shopping, get some ice cream or something. It'll do you soon good" she said brightly. Angela looked at her unenthusiastically, but allowed the energetic Rayanne to drag her towards the car in silence. Maybe it couldn't hurt to get out of the house for a while.

Jordan lay against his bed staring at the ceiling, his thoughts racing a million miles a minute in his head. The shades were drawn and the room dark, illuminated only by the bright LED light from the alarm clock at his side. It was well past 2pm in the afternoon but Jordan hadn't moved an inch, he didn't want to face another day ahead alone in his empty apartment. Shane had left a couple of days before and Jordan was confronted fully with the echoing barrenness in his heart. It had been two weeks since he'd buried his father and all that had happened after. Jordan found himself so unsure and confused as what he could possibly do to be forgiven for what he'd done. He knew he'd nearly destroyed her, smashed her heart to a million pieces with his insecurities. One thing was clear to him now, she was everything that he wanted. But life had taught him, sometimes even the things you wish for most, you don't always get. So this was where he found himself, all alone and stuck in a rut, fated only to sulk and brood over his messed up love life. He'd tried calling her, but she wouldn't pick up. He hadn't left her a proper voice message. For one, words always seemed to stick in his mouth. He'd just ended up breathing heavily into the receiver like some weird pervert, eternally frustrated . The only positive of the situation was that at least he'd gotten his song writing back on track. When all other things were falling apart ,what else was there to do but pour it all out in song. It was what he'd always done, hell ,half his songs were about Angela. Jordan just hoped that once he finally did find the right words to say to her it wasn't too late. Jordan in reflection discovered maybe that was why he couldn't talk to her. He was so sure she hated him, because he sure fucking hated himself.

Jordan's blackberry buzzed loudly beside him on the bedside locker. Jordan sighed apathetically and reached over to get it. He smiled gently as he recognised Jason's number flashing on the bright screen, at least someone still liked him.

'Hey Jay, what's up?' he said brightly.

'Nothing much, just hanging out with some of the guys I know from school how are here too. You know going to the beach and stuff' Jason sighed bored "How 'bout you?".

"Not much really ,it's too damn hot" Jordan said laughing slightly.

"Yeah even with the sea breeze it's as hot as hell here too" Jason said simply. "I hope you're not too lonely now Shane's gone". Jordan could hear the slight teasing in his son's tone.

"Honestly I am a little, but the time alone has meant I've had some space to finally write a couple new songs."

"That's good, plus you can't get too lonesome knowing I'm coming back in a couple of days" Jason said cockily.

Jordan chuckled lightly "Exactly and Shane and a couple of buddies are coming over tomorrow so I'm not a complete loner."

"Cool" Jason said quietly.

Jordan could hear in his son's voice that despite the joking, his mood was not good. There was something amiss, something he wanted to talk and didn't know how to bring up.

"You ok?" Jordan said with concern.

Jason sighed heavily. "Yeah I'm fine".

Jordan stayed silent for a moment . "You don't sound fine" he said gently.

Jason breathed out slowly "Look I'm frustrated is all, Beth's still not talking to me and Mom's hormonal as fuck. But Rayanne finally convinced her to leave the house so at least that's something". Jordan felt himself tense up at the mention of Angela, but avoided the problem head on.

'Beth's still giving you the silent treatment. Have you tried saying you're sorry?"

Jason huffed loudly down the line. "Oh course I have, duh! But… it never comes out right so I'm stuck at damn square one" he said sullenly. Jordan almost laughed at the irony, he knew the feeling all too well.

"Have you tried writing it down, you know, how you feel?" Jordan said with understanding.

"Like an email or IM?" Jason said touchily.

"Eh no! An email or Facebook message is too impersonal. I mean like a letter" Jordan said softly.

Jason stayed quiet for a moment "No, I haven't tried anything like that. I'm not good with words. I do fine with expressing myself when it doesn't apply to my feelings and shit."

"Yeah well neither am I, but even emotional idiots like us can have their moments" Jordan said encouragingly. "But I wouldn't know where to start" Jason moaned. Jordan knew the answer before Jason had even spoken.

"Ask Brian to help since he's there" Jordan said confidently "He's good at that stuff".

Jason let out a loud blast of laughter. "Brian Krakow, oh please. He wouldn't know a love letter if it hit him in the face."

Jordan took a deep breath. "Trust me, he can help "he paused "He helped me once".

Jason sat up straighter in his chair on the deck, his curiosity raised by this information.

"And did it work? Did you get the girl?" Jason said hurriedly. Jordan heard a small change in his son's demeanour as he replied, a half-believing sense off hope. Jordan closed his eyes and felt his throat contract. "Yeah I did" he responded softly, his voice raw.

A silence descended and Jordan was at a loss as to what to add.

"Why can't you do it again?" his son asked pointedly. Jordan was taken aback.

"What?" he said in confusion.

"Why can't you write Mom a letter like the last time?".

Jordan didn't even know how Jason had joined the dots so quickly, but it didn't surprise him much. Unlike him ,Jason always did have great powers of perception , a talent he'd inherited from his mother. Both of them had the ability to pick up exactly what he was trying to hide by the simplest of looks or sound of his breathing.

"Look I know something happened that day in Three Rivers. Because one minute you guys were almost getting along and now…..I can't mention your name without Mom's face going all pained looking and white. I don't know what exactly happened and I don't want to. But I do see you hurt her. Really bad." Jason became silent again, glad he could finally say his peace.

Jordan could feel it in his gut, that pain, his shame at his inaction growing.

"Whatever you did, just say you're sorry. Because…..she's really low" Jason tried not to show his desperation, begging was not an option.

Jordan sighed "Sometimes I wish it was that simple, just to say sorry and forget everything…..but it's not. This time it just isn't". Jason stayed silent on the other side of the line, steadily growing angry with his father, wishing he would do something.. Jordan's browbeaten excuse did nothing but make Jason feel almost betrayed. He heard his grandmother calling his name in the background.

"Patty's calling me so I'd better be going" he said tersely, not wanting to talk anymore in case he let his exasperation show.

"All right, trust me about Brian and the letter" Jordan said cheerfully, happy that the tense curve the conversation had taken was over.

"I will, I'll talk to you in a couple of days when we get back to the city." Jason said in indifference.

"You're back Saturday right?"

"Yeah" Jason said simply.

"All right Jay, talk to you soon" Jordan said happily.

Jordan was about to hang up when Jason suddenly spoke again, unable to let the issue lie.

"Dad wait. Look I need you to figure it out,…. about Mom." Jason said firmly.

Jordan bit at his thumb "Don't worry I'm working on it. I promise."

Jason relaxed a little. "Ok, bye Dad" he said more brightly.

"Bye" Jordan replied distractedly. Jordan squeezed the blackberry in his hand tightly and wondered how exactly you stop someone hating you. Jordan at that moment felt hopeless.

* * *

The day for once was a pleasant temperature as Angela and Rayanne wandered the main St, large double scoop ice cream cones in their hands. Angela had cookies and cream, while Rayanne had taken a different road with a combination of her own making of pistachio and raspberry. They were recovering from the night before, their dark glasses keeping the pesky rays of sun from hurting their sensitive eyes. What Angela remembered of the night was that they'd drank a lot of tequila and she'd sang 'I will survive' at the karaoke bar. Thinking about made her cringe, she was practically tone deaf . As she thought back on the night suddenly something struck her. She turned to Rayanne .

"Did I drunk dial you last night?" she said shamefully. Rayanne grinned at her broadly and nodded as she licked her ice cream.

"Oh God what did I say?" Angela sighed covering her face with her free hand.

Rayanne cleared her throat and looked at her friend teasingly.

"Rayanne, don't tell anyone but have I dirty dreams about Jordan every night. And I enjoy them all. In one of them he was Indiana Jones. I liked the whip". Angela choked on the ice cream in her throat as she gasped in horror. "Oh my god, please say you're joking." she wheezed.

Rayanne bit her lip to stifle her laughter. "I wish I was Angelika, but that's what you said. Just be glad you didn't call Jason or even god forbid your mother!" Rayanne grinned.

"Or Jordan." Angela added softly "My God that's embarrassing, don't tell anyone."

Rayanne was a little surprised to hear her say Jordan's name, but she guessed maybe it was sign that she was slowly becoming herself again. The night out had been the release Angela had needed after being wound so tightly, and it seemed as though she was okay again. Maybe she could finally talk about it now.

"You know, I've been thinking about it all. What he did and everything, and well, I realised I can't hold him completely responsible. I mean, I'm still unbelievably furious and hurt…. but I did kinda jump him" Angela's voice was soft and filled with embarrassment. Rayanne cocked an eyebrow at her, this was a part of the story that Angela had neglected to tell her. She'd been under the impression that Jordan been the jumper, not the jumpee. This was an interesting development.

"You jumped him, what do you mean?" Rayanne said as poker faced as she could muster.

"Well, like, I kissed him first, I put my hands down his pant's first and…..I…." she trailed off, her face red. Rayanne grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"Wow and I thought Angela Chase doesn't screw on the first date" Rayanne teased.

"I don't. Ever. I just got caught up is all." Angela huffed in indignation. She avoided Rayanne's eyes and stared off towards the nearby shore.

"Wow, I didn't know you had it in you Angela. After all, poor Krakow never got any action after 3months . How could you be such a tease?" Rayanne sighed in mock seriousness. Angela couldn't help but smile a little .

"Why are you so interested whether your boyfriend got any action?" she said archly "Or so sure he didn't" Angela shot her a haughty smirk. Rayanne's grin grew wider, quietly ecstatic that her friend was joining in with the game. She was sure this was a positive sign of development.

"Believe me I know Krakow didn't get any. That boy was so starved of carnal attention he practically burst out of his slacks the first time I ventured below the belt". Angela giggled as she ate the last of her ice cream, the melting cookie dough seeping all over hands. She wiped it away as Rayanne threw the last of her cone in the trash.

"You know it would have been really weird if we'd both slept with the others boyfriend, like, it'd be almost incestuous. It's already weird enough that I did yours". Angela smirked at Rayanne's mock disgusted look.

"First of all Jordan Catalano is not my boyfriend, and secondly when you did that, we were broken up at the time. So it doesn't quite count" Angela said with a smile.

"So you admit that now! It's only taken 16 years" Rayanne said with gusto " Say do want to compare notes on technique? I be interested to see what he does now" she began to tickle Angela, who rolled her eyes and wriggled away from her friends fingers. She smiled despite herself

"Shut up , God you're such a pervert. Why am I friends with you again?" she said laughing as Rayanne caught her in a particularly ticklish spot. Rayanne stopped and looked thoughtful for a moment

"Because…. variety is the spice of life! Plus what would you do without me?". Angela rolled her eyes again but huffed in defeat, she linked an arm in one of her friend's . "I'd live a very nice, quiet…..but unbearably boring life."

Rayanne winked at her and they walked down the street in companionable silence. Rayanne's face began to grow uncharacteristically dark, Angela saw this immediately.

"You ok Graff?" she said with trepidation, Rayanne looked at her blankly for a second, she seemed to shake herself awake and gave Angela a forced smile.

"I'm fine" she said quietly. Angela didn't say anything for a moment, but looked at her searchingly. Rayanne knew she wasn't going to be able to keep what was bothering her from Angela for very long. She groaned and stopped walking for a second and looked at Angela awkwardly.

"Look it's nothing really, but something happened last night and it freaked me out a little." She fell silent again and they continued walking over to the railings near the pier. Rayanne looked out into the water her expression guarded. Angela watched her silently, she knew she just needed to wait a little while and Rayanne would open up. Her friend took a deep breath and spoke slowly.

"Last night when we all got back to the house…Brian was really drunk and I was helping him into bed. Anyway I was pulling off his socks and he turns to me and says 'Rayanne I love you'. I didn't know what to say so I just said 'thank you' and pulled the blankets up around him and got in the other side." Angela smiled at her humorously

"That's your big drama, Brian gave you a drunken confession of love!". Rayanne pouted a little

" But this time he, like, meant it, he stopped me in the middle of pulling off a sock and looked right in my eyes. I just froze and said the first thing that came into my head".

Angela wrapped her arm around Rayanne's shoulder's and hugged her tight

"Don't worry I'm sure he was too wasted to remember anything." she said soothingly.

Rayanne groaned again loudly and turned back towards Angela, her expression uncertain.

"It's not that…..it's just I've never had someone say it to me and actually mean it. I've sure never said it to anyone. Honestly how the hell do you know if you love someone?". It was Angela's turn to look out into the Atlantic and frown.

"I guess it means different things to different people. To me I think it's that inexplicable draw to someone you have. That despite everything they put you through, you can never stay away, because you feel whole when you're around them. You keep coming back because no flaws they have compare to how they make you feel. The world could fall apart and burn to the ground around you, but you wouldn't care. As long as you're with him, nothing else matters". Angela bit at her lip, tears threatening to break out. Rayanne watched her friend carefully, digesting what she'd said.

"Wow. I guess I'll have to think about that one" she said softly.

Angela cleared her throat in slight discomfiture and gave her a weak smile.

" Well that's just my theory….anyway let's go back to the house. I heard Brian's helping my son write a love letter ,and that, I have to see ". Rayanne shrugged nonchalantly and they walked back towards the Main St, both lost to thoughts of their own problems of the heart.

Jordan had that dream again, the same one he'd had for the last two weeks. The dream where he'd re-live every touch and fierce kiss he and Angela had laid upon one another on that day not so long ago. In his dream he always knew exactly what to say and they would reconcile all problems. In his dreams they were finally together and he was happy. But alas, in the harsh light of the morning he always woke alone, his body on fire. Much to his shame, his nether regions had taken to having a mind of their own and he often awoke with a very real reminder of his vibrant dreams in between his sheets. He felt like he was in middle school the problem was so endemic, but at least most days he could remove his sheets and wash them before Nancy ,his housekeeper, found them. Jordan was not going to be confused with some trigger-happy thirteen year old boy. That being said, he could feel himself growing hard just thinking about the dream as he sat on his couch waiting for Shane. He cursed himself and quickly thought of dead puppies and his grandmother Maria to stop the action. He was a grown man for god's sake, he could control himself. Most of the time.

It was a little past 6 o'clock when Shane finally rang the door bell. Jordan opened the door sluggishly, a grin spreading across his face.

"S'up homey" Jordan said in a mock New York accent. Shane eyed him with bemused smile, his friend's hair was a shock of brown and little too long to be teased into such a style. To Shane, Jordan was starting to look like Goku from Dragonball Z.

'Jesus Catalano, you need to get your hair cut or stop gelling it like that. You look like a manga character.' Shane chuckled mockingly as he walked inside. Jordan shot him a withering look.

'First of all it's my hair, second it's called 'the pompadour' and third , at least I haven't had the same hair cut for ten years.' he retorted.

"Hey ,short back and sides is a classic style. So shut up." Jordan rolled his eyes at him, while Shane breezed past him and up the stairs into the kitchen, helping himself to coffee from the machine. Jordan waltzed over to the kitchen island and sat down on one of the stools.

"So how you been?" he said cheerfully looking up at his best friend. Shane shrugged and smiled .

"Oh you know, Regan's driving me insane and basically living in my apartment. She nags me all the time to clean up my shit and she wants to buy a puppy together. But I got to say….I'm happy" Shane eye's shined with joy and Jordan felt all at once ecstatic for his friend. Shane had never had a serious girlfriend before, his childlike excitement about his new relationship was endearing and Jordan was glad he'd finally fallen for someone.

"How about you?" Shane said curiously. Jordan shrugged and scratched at his head.

"I'm….ok. My son's pissed with me and Angela's still ignoring me….. but I have been writing songs so…." Shane arched a surprised eyebrow at him.

"You've been writing, that's cool man. Maybe we can actually get this album back on track"

Jordan smirked slightly "Yeah, Robbie would have been pissed if I hadn't written something by now".

"Oh screw him, he's nothing but a little bitch anyway. You have more talent in your right ball sack then he has in his entire body". Jordan laughed while Shane came and sat beside him on the next stool.

"So can I hear some of these new songs" Shane asked slyly, knowing Jordan wouldn't want to. Jordan shifted uncomfortably on the stool.

"They're not quite finished. Only one actually has a melody and lyrics." he said shyly.

Shane punched him lightly in the arm "Don't wimp out on me Catalano, play one."

Jordan eventually relented and got one of his guitars. They sat in the kitchen as Jordan steadied himself to play the song.

"This is stupid, it's not done"

"Just play it Jordan!" Shane laughed, it had always been hard to get him to play any newly written song. This was all part of the creative process, convincing the writer to actually perform. Jordan winced a little.

"Look I wrote this last night when I was a little low so….."

"Jordan I'll pound your ass if you don't play" Shane huffed. Jordan made one final pained expression and took a deep breath.

"No matter how many times that you told me you wanted leave

No matter how many breaths that you took you still couldn't breathe

No matter how many nights that you'd lie wide awake to the sound of the poison rain

Where did you go

Where did you go

Where did you go

As days go by The night's on fire

Tell me would you kill to save a life

Tell me would you kill to prove you're right

Crash Burn let it all burn

This hurricane's chasing us all underground "

He stopped suddenly and looked at Shane. "There's going to be another verse but I'm not finished it. Eh…. Then it goes into this part" he started again

"Do you really want

Do you really want me

Do you really want me dead or alive

To torture for my sins

Do you really want

Do you really want me

Do you really want me dead or alive

To live a lie "

Jordan's face grew red as the final chord rang out, Shane looked at him impassively.

"So what do you think?" Jordan said self-consciously. A gentle smile began to spread across the older man's mouth.

"I think it could be a hit. Awesome job Catalano." Jordan breathed out in obvious relief and reciprocated Shane's smile. "Thanks man" he said gratefully. Shane cleared his throat and looked at Jordan pointedly.

"That being said, judging by the song, you're in some morose state of mind ,and in dire need to get out of your apartment, like now". Jordan just ignored the jab and strummed his guitar absentmindedly. Shane was right ,but he wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing it.

"I'm perfectly fine. Plus the guys are coming over a little later so I can't go out" he said moodily.

"Eddie and Dave would have no problem with us all hitting the town instead, and you know it" Shane said persuasively. Jordan wasn't convinced, he frowned and continued playing. Shane rolled his eyes and gently took the guitar away from Jordan.

"C'mon it's Friday night and it'll be good for you." Shane said cheerfully. Jordan looked at him blankly, utterly defeated. "Fine, we'll go out" he huffed "But I swear to God if you try pick up hookers or anything else I'm gonna kill you".

Shane smirked boldly. "Hey I wouldn't do that, I'm a man in a stable relationship now". Jordan smiled despite himself and stretched his arms over his head.

"Sorry I forgot you've been domesticated."Shane shot him a withering look.

"If you're sure you want to this I've got to warn you, I'm going to tear this mother up Lewis" he said eagerly. Shane smiled impishly as they went to grab their stuff. "Now that's the spirit Catalano" he said gleefully.

The late evening sun set as the gang sat in a restaurant by the harbour, the last of the sun's rays sending gold and pinks dancing on the gentle waves. Angela watched the light fade from the large open windows of the restaurant, the topic of conversation at the table not holding her attention. Patty and Jason were off at one of the diner's in the town getting dinner, while she, Rayanne and the others were once more out for a nice fancy dinner. Rickie had insisted upon it and everyone had readily agreed, the shellfish they served was excellent . Both couples were now engaging in a deep discussion about the pro's and cons of co-habitation in a relationship, which Rayanne seemed dead set against. Angela felt at little out of the loop, but didn't mind too much. She was after all at dinner with two functioning relationships so sometimes it was to be expected they talked about couples stuff.

"Angela what do you think?" Brian said suddenly. Angela looked at him like a deer caught in headlights. "Eh what? I mean yes" she said perplexed. Brian chuckled.

"I asked what wine you want with the platter." Angela's face flashed a bright pink and she gave him an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry I was daydreaming. I don't mind what you pick". Rickie seemed to suddenly shift in his seat uncomfortably, he cleared his throat to get attention.

"If you don't mind, why don't I go ask the Sommelier for his suggestion.". Jack looked at him in confusion as Rickie rose from his seat, his hazel eyes looking up at him perplexed. "Honey he'll come to our table if you wait a few minutes."

Rickie smiled gently "It'll only take a second, I'll be right back".

Angela watched him leave, something felt off about it. Like there was something he was trying to hide. She turned her attention back to Rayanne who was still arguing for the case of couples not living together.

"I mean I could see the sense in it you've been going out a couple of years, but for those together a couple of months it would be crazy". Brian looked at her in barely concealed annoyance. "So say if I asked you right now whether we could move in together what would you say? Because I'd want to." Rayanne looked at him in horror and gaped at him like a fish, totally unable to speak. "I'm waiting for an answer." he said firmly.

Before Rayanne could respond, there was a unexpected blast of music that interrupted the situation. Angela looked around the room confused, while Rayanne's eyes grew wide.

"Is that Boys II Men ?" she said almost laughing "God I haven't them in years"

Jack's face grew scarlet as Rickie appeared out of nowhere with a microphone, Rickie obviously had been hiding something. Angela's heart began to beat fast in anticipation. Rickie stood in the middle of the floor visibly terrified and began to speak.

"Excuse me everyone for interrupting your dinner but I just have a few words to say right now. You see ,tonight is me and my gorgeous boyfriend's first anniversary. And well it has been the best year of my life. I love him more than life itself". Jack blew Rickie a kiss. Rickie smiled and continued, his momentary nerves disappearing.

"But the thing is….that's not why I'm standing here, because just saying I love him isn't enough. I'm standing here because I want to show him what he means to me" . Rickie motioned behind him and a few of the waiters unfurled a large banner reading "Will you marry me". Jack gasped loudly and nearly burst into tears. Rickie walked slowly towards him and went down on his knee, opening a small box with two matching rings within. "So I'm asking this wonderful man, no begging him, to marry me" Rickie's voice was thick with emotion as looked at Jack hopefully. Angela was unable to stop herself from crying when Jack nodded and exclaimed "Yes you fool. Yes!" kissing Rickie joyfully. Angela's heart exploded in her chest with happiness.

"I guess it's going to be another late night for us" Rayanne said excitedly, wiping her own happy tears from her eyes. Angela nodded beaming. Rickie turned back to them, looking dazed. "I'm getting married, I have a fiancé" he said excitedly. Angela stood up and hugged him tightly "No one deserves it more than you sweetie. Congratulations" she whispered. Rickie held her closely "It'll be your turn soon Angel face. I promise" he whispered back. Angela knew Rickie wasn't trying to be considerate, he really meant it.

Jason was still awake when they all wandered in drunk and in high spirits. He heard the laughter rising from downstairs and shouts of 'congratulations'. He was sitting on his bed messaging Joey when Angela wandered into his room.

"Hey baby boy what's up?" she slurred as she smiled at him contentedly. Jason gave her a amiable smile. "Just talking to Joey." Angela wobbled over to his bed and flopped down.

"That's good I like Joey, he's a nice boy. Not too bright but nice" she said breathlessly.

"Mom are you drunk?" Jason said laughing. Angela shook her head and then shrugged in a half admission. "Just a little. Rickie and Jack got engaged so we had to celebrate" she smiled broadly as Jason looked at her in amazement.

"That's so great, I'm so happy for those guys" he said keenly. Angela lay back against the bed and stared off dreamily. "Yeah me too." she said distantly. Jason looked at his mother in amusement as she stayed lying upon the bed, lost in her own world, a ghost of a smile on her lips. Jason signed off from Facebook and stood up to put his laptop on the nearby chest, subtly trying to tell his mother to leave so he could go to sleep. He sighed and was about to tell her to leave when Angela spoke first.

"You know when I congratulated Rickie tonight, he told me it would be my turn to get engaged soon." she laughed a little at the implication "But he's wrong regrettably. I'm never going to be married. Do you know why?". Jason didn't know if he supposed to respond or not, so he didn't say anything and Angela continued "I won't get married because the only man I've ever wanted to stay with has been your Dad". Jason could see her eyes growing sad and it hurt him to see her like that.

"You see your father is not the commitment type. Never has been and maybe never will." Angela turned towards him and caught his eye, a poignant smile on her lips.

"But you, you're the commitment type. You'll get married, have a family, the white picket fence and all that". Jason could feel himself growing increasingly uncomfortable with this conversation, he stayed silent. His mother needed to say whatever it was she needed to say uninterrupted.

"I know you'll be able to find happiness like that because… I see how much you've tried to be forgiven by Beth. That letter you got Brian to help you write shows me you'll be ok." Jason frowned slightly and took and deep breath.

"That letter was Dad's idea. He also suggested I go get help from Brian." Angela frowned in surprise at this, Jason continued on "You know he may not always show it….but he's just as hurt about whatever happened as you are. Underneath it all, he gives a damn. " Angela sat up, her face reddening in anger. "Oh please, spare me the bullshit. Don't talk about things you know nothing about. I mean as much to Jordan Catalano as those girls he fucked when he was in Europe" she spat out. Jason looked at her calmly and spoke unemotionally.

"Mom he never slept with anyone. Not since before Christmas according to Shane". Angela's face grew white and her eyes were wild. "What?"

Jason smiled slightly "The whole Europe thing was just a stupid ploy. Dad was trying to get back at you, but he never gave a damn about any of those girls or had any interest in them. Only you" Angela remained in a stupor, swaying a little because of her intoxication.

"That means I was the…..wait what an asshole! Why didn't he just talk to me like a normal person?" she yelled. Jason tried to hush her to stop her walking everyone else, but she angrily turned to him instead.

"And what about you, why didn't you tell me?" Jason gave her a pointed look.

"How exactly? It's hardly an easy conversation to bring up. Discussing my parents sex life is not something I want to do." Angela crossed her arms across her chest and conceded the point. She huffed and grabbed his Iphone.

"I need to borrow this, Rayanne stole mine to stop me calling her tonight." Jason began to protest

"Mom I really don't think that's such a…."

"SSHHHH! I'm perfectly competent at this moment to have a conversation with your father. So don't start with me!" Jason groaned in helplessness as she strode out of the room.

The strange thing was when she reached her bedroom, she found her anger was rapidly fading, instead in her drunken glow she almost felt giddy. She began to type the familiar number, it rang out and went to voice mail.

"Hey sexy man, how are you?" she slurred seductively.

* * *

The Saturday morning light flooded the open beach house pleasantly and never in her life had Angela felt so hung-over. Her own footsteps upon the wooden floor sounded like gunshots. She walked as quietly as she could humanly muster into the kitchen to get some Advil to quell the throbbing pain in her head. Rayanne was already up and drinking her morning coffee when the beleaguered Angela shuffled into the kitchen groaning like a banshee. "Morning sleepy, how's your head?" she said mockingly.

"Terrible, just awful, I am so not driving home today. How come you're not dying too?" Angela asked huffily.

"I was the designated house key holder for the night so I stop drinking at like 11. " Rayanne said smiling. Angela nodded half-heartedly and ripped the cap off the Advil, swallowing 4 pills in quick succession. Rayanne sniggered but said nothing.

"What time did we get back at because I'm missing parts of the night" Angela said hoarsely. Rayanne paused "I think 3. Because Brian kept singing 'three is the magic number' over and over again." Angela looked around the kitchen and a fact occurred to her all of a sudden, where was Brian? Usually he could be found reading a book on the deck or pestering Rayanne about some trivial detail. Rayanne noticed her curious look.

"What ?" she said enquiringly. "Where is Brian?" Angela said puzzled. Rayanne's face fell a little. "He's gone back to the city, we had a fight this morning when I wouldn't answer his question about moving in together. It also seems, he remembered me not returning his profession of love…. So we're on a break for a while" she said quietly. Angela looked at her sympathetically "I'm so sorry Rayanne. Are you ok?"

Rayanne forced a smile "Yeah I'm fine, it's probably for the best. It'll give me time to see what I actually want ." She didn't say anymore about it and Angela knew not to push it further. She reached into her pocket to get a tissue, when her hand met the plastic edge of Jason's Iphone. 'Crap' she cursed internally, knowing this meant only one conclusive thing.

"Eh…..did I drunk dial you again last night? I've just found this in my pocket". Angela pulled the device out and placed it on the counter. Rayanne's dark mood lifted and she shook her head, chuckling at her friend's misfortune.

"Sorry Angela not this time"

"Damn, could you check for me. I'm too hung-over to try work that thing." Angela moaned. Rayanne picked up the cell phone still smiling and quickly found the answer.

"Oh my god" Rayanne snorted loudly. Angela's eyes grew wide "What? How bad is it?"

Rayanne turned the screen and Angela nearly passed out. "I called Jordan!" she roared in shock. Life couldn't get any worse.

Jordan Catalano hadn't felt this sick in quite a while, the room spun around him as he opened his eyes. Causing him to gag a little with the uncontrollable motion of the world outside his bed. He didn't remember much of the night out with Shane, only that they'd drank, partied, gone to a strip club and ate an entire cake they'd bought from the fancy bakery near his building at some stage. The tang of the frosting still present in his mouth. What else had happened during the night was a fuzzy memory. Maybe memories he cared to forget. He'd fallen into bed at 4a.m and had been dead to the world till now at 12pm. He wasn't sure how he'd actually gotten home or if any of the guys had crashed at his. He was too sick to care. His blackberry buzzed incessantly beside him, grating on his nerves. He went to throw it against the wall, when he noticed Jason's number flashing as a missed call. Jordan thought it was weird he'd called him at 3 am, but he listened to the message anyway. Jordan bolted upwards as soon as Angela's dulcet tones reached his ears and he smiled in delight, his ailing body forgotten. He knew she was very drunk, but it didn't matter to him in the least. She was speaking to him.

"Hey sexy man, how are you?" she slurred seductively, her voice practically purring down the receiver. " I'm just home and thinking of you. I wanted to call to say I miss you. I miss your face and your smile. I miss your eyes, God your eyes could convince me to do anything. Hell let me be honest here, I miss your penis too".

Jordan would have split his side laughing only the guttural moan she made down the phone made his boxers suddenly feel rather restrictive. It was insane what the simply the sound of her voice could do to his body.

"I love your penis Jordan and truthfully, I love you. Like more than anything else in the world. Despite all the dumb shit you pull and times you say exactly the wrong thing, my feelings never change. I thought you'd like to know that".

Jordan could hear the smile in her voice and it made him experience something that had been unattainable recently, unadulterated joy. Angela's tone took on a more mocking tone as he listened carefully

"But like how the hell did you think it was a good idea to make me jealous by pretending to sleep with all those girls or to tell me to wear sun block after what happened between us. I mean what the fuck was that about. That is the dumbest thing you've ever said, like in your entire life". She paused for a moment and Jordan felt his own heart ache as her voice became full of anguish and she began again

"I was so convinced for the longest time that I hated you, but I was kidding myself. I could never hate you. Which is like retarded, how could you possibly ever confuse love for hate? I guess what I'm saying is Jordan I love you and sometimes my heart... it feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. Maybe its always belonged to you…. and if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange. Nothing but knowing you loved me, too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. That's all I've ever wanted. "

She sighed and seemed to collect her senses, her voice was calm as she spoke again " So please….stop playing games and fight for this like I know you want to ".

The message beeped to signal the end and Jordan felt floored by it all. His heart had grown fuller and lighter each line she'd spoken and he was sure there was hope, because that's all he'd ever wanted too. To know she loved him back. He knew that it was certainty now. She didn't hate him, she'd openly admitted she was in love with him! Jordan realised he'd known it all along, that he'd all he'd needed was the reassurance. Jordan lamented his cowardice, he'd been afraid of his feelings being unrequited for no reason at all. It was time to stop hiding and man up. Even if the words weren't perfect it didn't matter, he had to try. That was the point, all he had to do was fight. Jordan leaped to his feet, knowing she and Jason we're due home soon. He skipped all the way to the bathroom, smiling at his reflection in the mirror. For once maybe he'd get what he wanted most.

Jordan stood outside the penthouse door nervously pacing, a small bunch of roses in his left hand, his handwritten 'letter' in the other. The piece of paper had taken him only a matter of minutes to write, for once words had come easy. He was wearing his best shirt and had taken Shane's advice and given the pompadour a rest for the day. Jordan felt confident, he was sure of his success, or at least he tried to convince himself of his own self-assurance. Patty opened the door and was surprised to see Jordan standing in the hallway looking so uneasy. "Hey" he said politely. She gave him a slight smile.

"Is Angela back yet? I want to talk to her." he added calmly. Patty eyed the flowers and knew he was here to fix things. She looked at him compassionately.

"Sorry dear but they decided to stay an extra night because Rickie got engaged." Jordan looked at her a little crestfallen, unsure if he'd be able to muster the nerve to stand here again so openly tomorrow. "Oh, it's ok . I'll just come by again tomorrow" he said softly "That's great news about Rickie though". Patty looked at him and saw the lost little boy he'd always been, instantly she felt the need to comfort him.

"Do you want to come in and talk or something" she said kindly. Jordan flashed her a brief half grin "Nah….it's ok Patty. I'll just come back tomorrow and talk then". Patty nodded in acceptance "All right then I'll see you then Jordan" she said kindly, slowly shut the door as he stepped inside the elevator. As soon as the doors closed ,he threw the bouquet against the wall, pissed off by cruel fate. One thing was certain, he had to do this in person. Calling her was not an option, maybe the delay was a blessing in disguise.

It was official Jason Chase was bored. He was all alone and none of his friends were free to hang out. His Mom had taken off with Rayanne again to go out for lunch, Brian was gone back to the city and Patty had left in his mother's Lexus that morning. Patty had some important appointment she could miss and had to return early. Angela was enraged that she now had to drive the Plymouth back to Manhattan. She truly hated the car and wanted to spend as little time as possible driving it. As such she and Rayanne had taken a cab to the town instead of driving. With his mom gone, Jason had taken the opportunity to venture a little outside the driveway with the red Plymouth. What else exciting was there to do?

As he trundled down the beach road his cell phone buzzed on the dashboard. He stopped and read the message.

"Hi, I got your letter. I have to say I loved it. I'm near where you're staying today if you want to meet up and talk. Meet you by the South harbour in an hour? Love-Beth".

Jason thumped the steering wheel in delight. It had worked. He wanted to kiss Brian Krakow for his genius. A thought suddenly struck him, the South Harbour was on the far side of the resort town, nearly 2 hours walk. He slapped the dashboard with his palm. "Shit!" he growled. He was never going to make it there in time if he walked. Jason looked around the car and made the tough decision, he was going to drive there. He had to. If he was to win Beth back he had to put his personal safety on the line, this was his chance to fix things. He only hoped he could be back before Rayanne and his Mom came home, but he was sure they wouldn't venture down to the harbour considering its distance from the centre of the town. "I going to be grounded for life after this" he muttered to himself as he started the car again.

Rayanne and Angela's lunch excursion had stretched on well past 4 o'clock and they both felt like they needed a break from the town. They'd decided to go to the harbour to watch the boat's out on the water while they chatted.

"….so I said to Jack, you're lucky that Rickie didn't go all L.A in his proposal and fly out like Rickie Martin or something to sing to you or for him to hire a mardi gras float filled with Brazilian samba dancers. And Jack said…" Angela interrupted Rayanne's anecdote when she saw a familiar dark head laying in the backseat of another very recognizable red convertible in the car park of the waterfront. She could feel her rage quickly building and set to explode.

"I don't goddamn believe it. I'm going to murder him" Angela hissed through gritted teeth. Rayanne followed her line of vision and saw Jason lounged in Red, a tall dark haired girl beside him "Oh you dog you" she whispered, impressed by his boldness, but in no doubt he was in deep shit. Angela strode over to the young couple, her eyes ablaze. Jason scrambled out of the car when he saw his mother thundering towards them.

"Jason what the fuck is this?" she roared as she reached the car. Jason looked at her helplessly, his mouth hanging open as he struggled to find words to defuse the situation.

"I can explain…I…I..I swear " he stuttered as he held his hands up in defence.

"Oh please do because I can't wait to hear this" Angela laughed sardonically, her anger now in full flow. Rayanne stood behind her shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, while Beth slipped out of the car. They shared a embarrassed smile as she passed Rayanne.

"I'll just be going so…..I'll call you Jay" she said uncomfortably, she then walked off towards the marina and was soon out of sight. Jason still stood frozen to the spot, his mother's murderous eyes leaving him immobile.

"I'm waiting Jason" she hissed "How the hell could you think this would be ok? Do you know how much trouble you could have been in or how lucky you are that you didn't cause an accident?". Jason couldn't look in the eye, there was no way he was going to wriggle out of this one. Angela shook her head and huffed impatiently.

"Look you were gone and I really needed to get to the harbour by 3pm to patch things up with Beth." he blurted out, desperately trying to vindicate his actions.

Angela's eyes narrowed. "So this is my fault! Why the hell didn't you call a cab!" she yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. Jason looked at her sheepishly, he felt like an moron .Why hadn't he called a cab? If he was being honest, he'd wanted to show off his new car to Beth along with everything else. But he couldn't exactly say that to his mother.

"I was in a rush and I didn't think" he said despondently.

"No you didn't" Angela hissed. Her nostrils flared and she could feel herself about to reach boiling point, they needed to get out of here before she created a public scene. They were going to finish this conversation at home where she was going to discipline her son away from curious, prying eyes.

"Get in the car, joyrides over" she said simply, wrenching open the door. Jason walked over to the passenger's side, his head hanging low. He was in big trouble. As Angela went to sit in drivers side Rayanne reached over and caught her by the elbow.

"Angela you can't drive, we had two long island ice tea earlier." Angela exhaled loudly

"Damn I forgot that. Jason you're driving. Enjoy it because once we go back to Manhattan tomorrow you're not seeing this car again till you turn 18 " she said sulkily.

"But Mom…" Jason complained. Angela silenced him with a glare, and he shut his mouth. Rayanne made no movement to get into the car.

"You coming Graff?" Angela asked gruffly still scowling at Jason. Rayanne hesitated, something seemed off about the situation, like the energy was off kilter. Her Mom had always told her to trust her gut and right now it was telling her not to get in the car .

"Emmm….I saw this nice necklace I want to buy for my Mom back in one of the stores so I'll take a cab back later" she said distantly, trying not to show her anxious feelings. Angela was too enraged by Jason to notice .

"Fine suit yourself. See you later".

The sinking feeling in her gut grew more intense as she watched them drive off, like something terrible was about to happen. She chastised herself for her superstitions and walked away from the harbour.

Jordan had been watching some random documentary on sharks when the buzzer from his intercom sounded loudly. He reached across and picked up the receiver.

"Hello" he said boredly.

"Hello Mr Catalano, there's a Mr Krakow to see you. He says he's friend of yours" Daniel said politely. Jordan was struck dumb for a second in surprise. Brian had never come to visit him before. "Mr Catalano?" Daniel said again in slight trepidation.

"Sorry, eh….let him up Daniel" Jordan said quietly.

A few minute later, Jordan heard the bell ring loudly. He made his way down the stairs and greeted Brian with a smile when he opened the door.

"Well this is a surprise to say the least. How you doing?" he said bemused. Brian shifted from foot to foot. "Sorry for just dropping in uninvited" he said self consciously.

"Mi casa es su casa amigo, you don't need an invitation. I'm surprised is all" Jordan said with a friendly grin. He was glad to have the company.

"Thanks, I just needed to see a friendly face" Brian said faintly. Jordan opened the door wider "You going to stand out in the hall way all day or you going to come in" he said with a mocking grin. Brian gave him a fuller smile and shrugged his shoulders

"Well your hall is nice but…". Jordan motioned with his head "C'mon Brain stop acting like a putz and get your ass in here".

Brian looked around Jordan's immense second floor and felt almost intimidated by it all.

Jordan had given him a tour of the entire apartment and he was greatly impressed. The man had everything, almost too much it seemed.

"It's some place you got here " Brian sighed contentedly "It must have cost you a bomb"

Jordan shrugged nonchalantly as they walked into the final room, the entertainment room.

"Not as much as you'd think. I heard the previous owner was like a mob boss and he needed to get rid of this place before the feds got him for tax evasion or something, so I got it at a discount price. But I kept getting all these strange packages turning up at my mail address". Brian arched a suspicious eyebrow at him, and Jordan smirked sneakily.

"It was a joke Krakow". Brian breathed out in relief and smirked in response. Jordan indicated for him to sit down on the couch. Brian readily obliged and Jordan sat on one of the armchairs. "So you were in the Hampton's for a while, how was everyone? I mean apart from Rickie and Jack who I know are insanely happy"

Brian looked at him knowingly "If you mean , how was Angela?" Jordan cheeks flamed red as he cursed his own transparency. Brian sighed " She was in a foul mood for a while but she's getting better. Whatever you did in Three Rivers really affected her and she's only now coming to terms with it" he said blankly. Jordan looked at him remorsefully, but a half smile broke through as he thought about the voice mail message.

"You know she drunk dialled me last night. Told me even after everything she loves me, so I think maybe we'll be ok. I'm going to see her tomorrow to sort everything out" Brian eye's widened in amazement and he smiled in delight.

"That's great Jordan". His face fell a little as he thought of his own troubles. Jordan saw the change. "You alright Brain?" he said curiously. Brian hesitated for a moment, he reprimanded himself for his reticence. On of the main reasons he'd come to see Jordanwas to talk about his problem ,if he was being totally honest with himself. He took a deep breath.

"I asked Rayanne to move in with me yesterday and she wouldn't give me an answer. I told I loved her and she said thank you" he stared at his hands, trying not to let his emotions overtake him "That's why I left early. I couldn't take the rejection, I opened my heart and she just stamped all over it." Jordan looked at him thoughtfully, feeling nothing but empathy and remorse for his old friend.

"You know with a girl like Rayanne, sometimes you have to just give them time and they'll eventually get to the same place as you. Trust me after a little while, she'll be there too" he said simply. Brian glanced at him, his face full of doubt and hurt.

"How can you be so sure?" he said huskily. Jordan gave him a momentary solemn look.

He sighed contemplatively. "How long have you known Rayanne?" Brian frowned, perplexed by his question. "Since high school, you know that." Jordan gave him a half smile.

"And in that long history, how many actual committed serious relationships do know you she's had apart from with you?"

Brian's gloomy expression softened a little as he realised what Jordan was implying.

"None." he said with a slight laugh, his mood lifting. Jordan looked at him with self satisfaction, grinning arrogantly that he'd figured something out before Brian.

"You tamed the wild beast Krakow, this is all new to Rayanne. You know, feelings and everything." Jordan's dry humour caused a smirk to crack on Brian's stoical face.

"Once she gets over all the scary new emotions she'll act like a normal person in a relationship. Well normal by Rayanne's standards" Jordan added with a grin, Brian couldn't help but laugh.

"Why is it the more things change, the more they stay the same" he said with relieved sigh. Jordan arched an eyebrow at him "What do you mean?"

"Me asking you about girls and stuff. It's like you're teaching me to get a girl's phone number all over again." Brian chuckled in self deprecation. Jordan nodded in teasing agreement . "Yeah well, they always say it's easier to be wise for others than ourselves, so I wouldn't beat yourself up about it anything" he replied with a grin.

An awkward silence descended between them and Jordan squirmed a little uncomfortably in the armchair, unsure of what to say next. Brian seemed to feel the same, he looked around the room staring at items distractedly. He cleared his throat.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything by dropping in?" Brian said sheepishly. Jordan shook his head.

"Nah….I was just wasting time till the Bucs game came on at 7, you like baseball?". Brian nodded enthusiastically "I go to the Bucs home games in Pittsburgh whenever I go home to visit my parents So yeah." he said with a smirk.

"You wanna have a beer and watch the game?" Jordan said hopefully.

"That'd be great" Brian said with genuine eagerness. Jordan gave him a happy grin.

"All right sit tight and I'll grab you a cold one".

Brian took the opportunity to catch up on some of the days news when Jordan left the room to gather some snacks and beer. The game wasn't starting for another ten minutes anyway. He was about to switch from the local new channel when his cell phone began to ring in his pocket. He turned attention away from the tv screen to take it out. Rayanne's number flashed upon the screen, he stared at it trying to decide whether to answer it. Brian huffed and put it back in his pocket, he could deal with that later. Right now he was still too mad. As he lifted his eye back to the flat screen a news story caught his attention.

"There's no report of any fatalities, but the four crash victims were transported from the scene less then two hours ago with serious injuries to Southhampton hospital .The cause of the accident is not yet known but the vehicles a 2007 ferrarai and '72 Plymouth collided at sometime around five this afternoon." Brian felt himself freeze up, his blood draining from his face silently praying when they showed the car wrecks that one of them wasn't red.

"Just behind me they're pulling out the second car which ended up pinned between a tree and the ferrarai."

Brian didn't know when he'd started yelling, but as the familiar crimson body of Jordan's car arose on the screen he found himself roaring "Jordan" over and over again.

Jordan raced in just as the reporter said the words that Brian had been dreading.

"There have been many conflicting reports that the two of the victims of this horrific accident are the popular novelist Angela Chase and her son Jason. Both of whom were transported to the local hospital. Not much is known on the status of their condition except one of them was said to be in a critical state."

Jordan couldn't breathe, everything went black around him. Why was life so cruel?

**-So there it is loyal readers, I'm so sorry to end it here but I hope you understand. If I get a chance I will write a new installment before I leave for I don't see it happening.**

**Have a great Summer everyone!**


	15. Patience

**So my dearest readers I have returned a lot earlier then I'd originally intended. Unfortunately due to employment opportunities falling through I was forced to return back to my home continent from NYC, but do not feel too sorry for me as I'm swapping one major city for another and heading to London soon. Admittedly the silver lining of this event is I'm once more able to return to this addictive story. Due to my recently discovery of Gossip Girl, my penchant for angst and drama has multiplied. Therefore this has a lot of twists and turns. Hopefully you all like the resolution to the cliff-hanger and continue to support me in my fan fiction endeavours! Thanks to all that reviewed the previous chapter ;-)**

**-RedCatCatalano **

The ride in the car to the hospital felt like an eternity as Brian drove with as much haste as he could muster. Beside him Jordan sat motionless, his face ashen and his eye's glassy. The road stretched out in front them endlessly as they sat in silence. Jordan had called Patty as soon as he'd calmed himself enough to make it down the elevator, her reaction had been one of hysterics in direct contrast to his stoical numbness . They'd collected her along the way and she now sat wordlessly into the back seat of the SUV, her face as drained of colour as Jordan's. The beautiful and cheerful rays of the spectacular sunset amongst the city building behind them, contrasted cruelly with the dark reality of what they were facing . No one could speak, the sickly feeling of terror clung in the air around them. What could they possibly say in the situation? The pain and panic of it all was overwhelming.

Jordan felt as though he was living within a waking nightmare. He shifted rigidly in the soft leather seat, fighting to control his emotions. The horrific truth of this all was he was in serious danger of losing one of the people he cared most . Maybe even both if fate was cruel enough. And what was making everything exponentially worse, was that Jordan still didn't know who the news report had been referring to. Who was it the ambulance had picked up in a critical condition? Who was it he may never see alive again?

The more repulsive question was, the very one which seemed to fill his mind mercilessly, who was it Jordan wanted to be unharmed more? It was as if life was forcing him to make the impossible choice as to who he loved the most. A very real Catch-22, his son or the love of his life? Angela or Jason? He took a deep breath steadying his resolve. He wouldn't make the choice, he couldn't. A life without both of them was not one he wanted to live. Jordan closed his eye's and willed himself not to breakdown, he was heading into hell and they needed him to be strong.

As Jordan opened his eyes again, Brian's finger's were dialling Rayanne's number into the in-built car phone on the dashboard. Jordan's expression did not change as the busy tone rang out through the car speakers. This had been the case for the last half hour. Brian had called Rickie and Jack, thinking they'd have more information then them. But by a unforeseen twist of fate they'd had left for the airport an hour before the crash, when Brian had reached them they too were racing to the hospital. Rayanne's cell had continued to just to go to voicemail and call waiting, meaning the seriousness of the situation was aggravated unnecessarily.

Brian cursed himself inwardly for not answering Rayanne's call earlier. Not that it would change the gravity of the circumstances, but would have soothed the tension enough to know what kind of state of affairs they were hurtling towards. At least then he'd know which Chase to pray for.

"Damn it. I'm sorry guys. If I hadn't been so selfish earlier when she'd called we'd at least know something" Brian sighed dejectedly. He felt almost responsible"…..I shouldn't have left this morning, maybe if I hadn't…."

Jordan's scowled at him. His worry, frustration and panic rising to the surface.

"Krakow shut up. Just get us there." he growled, interrupting Brian's babbling. Brian immediately shut his mouth and turned his full attention back to the road. Jordan continued to scowl for a moment, he was not prepared to make Krakow accountable in any way for what had happened, If it was anyone's fault, it was his. Jordan had given Jason the car, convinced Angela to let him have it and ultimately….if he'd actually been able to tell Angela how he felt, maybe she and Jason would have come back to the city earlier. Maybe this would have been avoided.

Silence remained in the car and time seemed to stretch on into infinity. Jordan's stormy expression did not soften until Brian slowed the car to turn down a smaller street. They stopped suddenly.

"We're here." Brian said blankly. Jordan looked out into the dark and saw the unassuming hospital building. A renewed wave of terror hit him hard. He turned around in his seat and looked at Patty for the first time since they'd left for the hospital. Her lip trembled uncontrollably, her face as pale as snow as she stared off at the entrance of Southampton hospital. Jordan could see she was petrified. He reached out and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. Patty looked at him, her eyes slightly unfocused.

"We have to go in now Patty, but we can get through this together" Jordan said softly. Patty nodded slightly and squeezed his hand back. Taking one last deep breath, Jordan turned back and opened his car door, dreading what he was about to discover.

In the waiting room of the hospital a shaken and bruised Jason Chase sat replaying the disturbing images of what had happened in his mind. Every time the feeling of guilt and shame grew more severe, until he couldn't bear it anymore. Rayanne sat to the right of him, rubbing his back soothingly as he let out a harsh groan. Jason bit at his lip, trying not to let the tears fall down from his eye's. He had no right to cry, it should have been him in the O.R, not his mother.

"She flat lined Rayanne…right in front of my eyes" he said bitterly. "I was the one driving and now she's the one fighting for her life".

Rayanne moved her arm to pull him into an awkward half hug.

"No one could have prevented what happened, even the most experienced driver." she whispered sympathetically. "Your mom's going to survive this, I promise."

Jason looked at her dejectedly before he hid his face in his hand, unable to keep himself from weeping, the memories rushing forward again.

"_Do you have any idea how irresponsible you've been?" Angela roared at him._

_Jason gripped the steering wheel tightly as he winced at her tone. His mother had been berating him since they'd left the pier, her fury not once subsiding. He stayed silent, unsure as to what to reply._

"_Jason answer me. Now" she said once more with force. Jason turned slightly to catch her eye for a second._

"_I'm sorry ok. I don't know what else to say. I know I messed up." he replied huffily growing irritated. Angela scoffed loudly._

"_No you don't, messing up is when you flunked math test because you didn't study. This is called fucking up. Royally" she spat out angrily. Jason jaw clenched visibly in exasperation, her reaction to this situation was now bordering on ridiculous. It was almost as if she was using this as a way to vent her frustrations over a totally different problem. _

"_Look Mom I don't know what you want me to say, I'm an idiot ok." Jason exhaled loudly, his body tense._

" _But please don't use this as an excuse to work out the anger you feel towards Dad. I'm not being the emotional punch bag for your unexpressed issues" Jason said rashly Angela's mouth fell open in surprise and she was struck dumb. Her eyes then grew dark as her mouth set in a hard line. Jason bit at his lip, instantly realising his mistake. Now he was in big trouble._

"_Don't you dare speak about things you don't understand. I have no issues regarding your father. I've been very clear I want nothing to do with him." Angela said bitterly._

_Jason laughed caustically at her, he turned and looked at her arrogantly._

"_Really? Is that why last night you basically told me he was the only man you've ever wanted to marry? Yeah you guys are totally issue free" Jason said with as much condescension as he could muster as he stared her down._

_Angela's eyes filled with sorrow, she looked down to avoid his gaze and Jason felt immediately guilty. She shifted in her seat and looked straight ahead to mask her obvious upset. _

_Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as her expression changed from thinly masked pain to very obvious panic in a split second. Jason turned around in time to see the mini-van in front of them had braked harshly just before the crossroads. With no other option he swerved to avoid it and drove across the intersection, directly into the path of a speeding Ferrari. The front of the sports car rammed into the drivers side of the Plymouth with unbelievable force, sending both vehicles spinning across the small beach road. Jason struggled to control the car as they went hurtling towards the tree's near the grassy verge. As they struck a large oak, the strength of the impact and subsequent blow the Ferrari inflicted, caused Jason to crack his head off the window and he was knocked out. _

_Jason gasped as he regained consciousness strapped to a gurney in the back of the ambulance, an oxygen mask over his mouth. He felt an unbelievable pain in his left shoulder and his head ached where he'd been struck. The sound of an electrical charge caught his attention. He turned his head to see two paramedics across from him working desperately upon his mother, a second monotone rang through the confined space. It took a moment for him to realise what was happening and reality to penetrate his disjointed and injured brain. His mother was dying three feet away from him. What limited view he had told him she was critical, her face marred with cuts and covered in blood, a large laceration on her forehead. The monitor still read no heart activity as the medics prepared to try again. Jason began to pull against the restraints so he could sit up and touch her, will her to live. He didn't realise he'd calling out to her till one of the medics turned to him._

"_I'm sorry kid, .u…ttttt I need you to lie back down. For your own and your… mom's safety" the young medic stuttered anxiously as he pushed Jason back down gently but firmly. Jason continued to eye Angela fretfully, his desperate cries muffled by the oxygen mask. The medic turned back to Angela, as his colleague placed the paddles down on her exposed chest. Jason begged her to respond, once more straining to sit up. His prayers were finally answered as the monitor started to beep steadily again. Jason collapsed against the gurney again in exhaustion, tears streaming down his face in relief. She was still clinging on._

Jason wiped at his face as the memory subsided again. Rayanne continued to hug him tightly, having nothing but sympathy for the young boy. He didn't deserved to hold himself at fault for this, he'd made a stupid mistake and it wasn't fair for him to have to pay the ultimate price. As Jason cried freely Rayanne found it hard to keep her own emotions in check, but she knew Jason needed her to stay grounded. He had no one else.

Her resolve cracked though as soon as she saw Brian Krakow round the corner of the corridor looking around worriedly. She let go of Jason as she rose to her feet and practically ran towards him, tears already falling . Brian gave her a small sad smile as he saw her and opened his arms. She rushed into them and held onto him desperately.

"I nearly got in the car with them Brian, It could have been me" she sobbed. He held her close and let her cry.

"It made me realise how stupid I was about us. I'm so sorry" she whimpered into his chest. Brian smiled gently and kissed the top of head .

"It's ok. You're forgiven" he said soothingly. "I love you too by the way" she whispered .

"I know" he said softly "I know".

Jordan came into the waiting area not long after Brian in a flurry of agitation. He came to a screeching halt as he saw Jason in front of him, his head in his hands. His son's left arm was in a sling, a large bandage stuck to his head and a few small cuts covered his face. But other than that he was very much ok. Jordan breathed out loudly in relief, silently thanking God Jason was fine. Jason lifted his head and saw his father standing there in front of him and burst into tears once more. They both moved slowly towards one another, before Jason rushed forward and enveloped Jordan in a hug.

"Thank God you're alright." Jordan whispered breathlessly. Jason winced in pain as they held onto to one another closely. Jordan released him slowly and looked at him in confusion.

"I've a broken collar bone and a cracked rib .So as much as I needed the hug….that really hurt" he said simply as he disentangled himself fully from his father.

Jordan gave him a brief apologetic smile and looked at him searchingly. The momentary elation he felt over Jason was quickly dissipating as he saw Jason's red rimmed blue eyes.

"Where's your Mom?" Jordan asked softly, but secretly dreaded the answer he knew was coming.

"I don't know. They haven't told us anything since they rushed her into surgery….." Jason trailed off, his voice breaking. Patty gasped and covered her mouth with her hand , sitting down on a plastic chairs she silently began to sob. Jordan gulped, barely managing to stop himself from losing his composure.

"She's hurt real bad Dad and…." his son said meekly. Jason looked up at him, his face filling with guilt. Jordan noticed this instantly, realising there was something vitally important Jason wasn't telling him. He took a deep breath

"What happened Jason? What are you not telling me?" he asked evenly as he placed a hand on his son's uninjured shoulder.

Jason bit at his lip as he dropped his eyes to the floor in the deepest shame.

"It was my fault….the crash. I was the one driving" he said with trepidation and remorse. Jordan's eyes widened in shock before narrowing in bewilderment.

"What?" Jordan said harshly, confused by his son's admission.

"She couldn't drive because she'd had a drink and , you see….. I'd taken the car to meet Beth by the pier and mom caught me sooo, …." Jason babbled shakily before he was interrupted.

"You did what?" Jordan hissed, his finger's digging into his son's shoulder in an uncontrollable rush of anger . Jason looked at him repentantly, wishing Jordan wasn't looking as disappointed in him, as he did right now.

Jordan let go of him and turned around rubbing his face in rage. It took all of his self control not turn around and hit Jason. He was beyond furious.

"Fuck! What the hell were you thinking? Do you have any idea what you've done?" he yelled loudly as he finally turned to face Jason.

"Yes I do" Jason replied sadly "I had to watch as her heart stopped beating three feet away from me. I know what I've done. It's my fault she's lying on the operating table". All the fight and aggression towards Jason went out of Jordan's body as he heard this, his son was so broken he couldn't help but forgive him. But the realisation that she'd been so close to death overwhelmed his need to comfort his son, he couldn't handle the fear that was gripping his heart. He was getting closer and closer into caving to his need to cry. Jordan had to get away.

"I have to get out of here." he said faintly as his voice caught in his throat. Jordan walked past his family and friends down the corridor. Jason called after him desperately.

"Dad, wait. I'm sorry." Jordan looked at him dejectedly.

"You don't need to be sorry Jay. It's not your fault…it's mine. And I can't be here right now" Jordan said gloomily. With that he continued down the corridor.

"Dad, come back!" Jason shouted his lip starting to tremble. Patty rose from her seat and wrapped a shielding arm around him, whispering soothingly to let Jordan go. Brian frowned and shared a look with Rayanne. Brian stood up forcefully and rushed after Jordan, as Patty coaxed Jason to sit down again, his soft, broad hand in her worn but delicate one.

"Catalano, what are you doing? Jason needs you" Brian said indignantly as he caught Jordan's arm. His friend shot him a look of contempt as he ripped his arm out of Brian's grasp. "Don't you dare tell me what to do Krakow" Jordan growled furiously. He stalked off down another hospital corridor without a second glance.

"You think you're the only that's hurting, that's scared Jordan? We all love her too and we need you." Brian shouted after him in frustration. Jordan hesitated for a second knowing what he said was right, he couldn't run away. Another wave of hopelessness filled his gut as his thoughts turned to Angela. He exhaled harshly before walking off again. Brian's jaw clenched in anger and he turned back to walk towards his love ones. He gave Rayanne a small smile as he sat down, she took his hand in hers and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"The important thing is you tried." she said proudly. "I know" he returned quietly.

Not long had passed before Jack and Rickie arrived to join the anxious group.

Rickie rushed over to them . Jack walked behind him slowly, a sheepish look on his face.

"Why haven't any of you been picking up? I've been calling non stop" Rickie said crossly. Rayanne looked up at him apologetically "Sorry my phone's dead"

"Mine's got no service" Brian added " But there's no update on Angela anyway". Rickie's annoyance dissolved slowly and a distinct look of worry replaced it on his features

"So it is Angela that's critical" he said painfully. Patty nodded solemnly, Jason sat dozing against her shoulder, exhausted by his ordeal. Rickie gazed at him compassionately before searching the waiting room curiously.

"Where's Jordan?" he said ,deeply puzzled by his absence. Brian shrugged angrily.

"You know him, anything that requires deep emotions overpowers him. He cut and ran off somewhere as expected." Rayanne said sullenly. Just as Rickie was about to reply a doctor approached them in stained scrubs

"Sorry to bother you. Are you waiting for news about Angela Chase?" the doctor asked politely. "Yes we are." Rickie replied .

"Are any of you direct family?" the doctor said as he looked amongst the posse.

"I'm her mother" Patty said firmly "and this is her son." she added pointing to the sleeping boy, her eyes became steely as she looked at him

"So feel free to talk freely. We've all been waiting long enough". The doctor nodded gravely.

"I apologise for the delay but we were kept very busy. Angela's injuries were quite extensive, her right leg is broken is several places and she has a number of broken ribs .One of which punctured her left lungs and caused it to collapse Thankfully we were able to stop the bleeding that occurred and mend the lung ". They all breathed out a sigh of relief. The doctor drew another shaky breath.

"Unfortunately the head injury she had sustained was more severe then we'd originally thought and there's no way of knowing exactly what damage has been done, other than waiting it out and seeing how she responds to treatment. She's stable though, but in state of comatose". Everyone shared a concerned look.

"And if she wakes up…..what's the recover time we're looking at?" Brian said blankly, trying to stay optimistic. The doctor sighed, he decided to stay positive about the situation too, what else was there to do?

" Her leg was badly broken in the crash, damn near obliterated. She'll definitely need a couple major surgeries of to correct it. Because of that, Angela's looking at , at least 3 to six months before she'll be able to walk again."

"Fuck" Rayanne whispered.

"But she'll be ok. Right?" Brian said hopefully. The doctor paused, he couldn't raise their expectations only to have them crash down again.

"The only thing we can do right now is wait…and pray for the best." the doctor replied honestly. Patty nodded in understanding "Thank you doctor" she said politely.

Rayanne sighed loudly "So who wants to go tell Catalano?" she said grimly. Rickie gave her a small smile "I'll do it." he said gently. Jack stood up after his fiancé.

"Want me to come too?" he asked sweetly. Rickie gave him a kind smile.

"Thank you but….it's better I do this by myself."

Jordan sat in one of the pews in the hospital chapel, his gaze transfixed by the orange flames of the candles surrounding the room as tears streamed down his face. He didn't know how long he'd sat there, but the guilt over abandoning his son in his time of need ate at his conscious. Yet Jordan couldn't leave his seat, he needed to be alone to collect his thoughts before he could be a pillar of strength for Jason. Jordan's heart ached in his chest more than he thought was ever possible, his nerves were shot to pieces and his spirit split into. If he lost Angela he wasn't sure he'd ever recover. She was his counterpoint, his better half. And he'd been too stupid and pig-headed to see that clearly before now, right when he was on the verge of never holding her again.

Jordan felt a familiar presence beside him but he did not turn his head as Rickie sat down . They stayed in silence for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts. Eventually Rickie broke the tranquillity.

"The doctor came around to talk to us. That's why I came looking for you." he said slowly. Jordan stiffened in anticipation, he finally turned to look at Rickie in searching apprehension.

"She's alive." Rickie said with a faint smile. Jordan exhaled loudly in obvious relief. "But…it's not over yet. Her head injury is still very serious and the doctors are not sure what the outlook for the future is. All we can do is wait" Rickie added honestly. Jordan fleeting reprieve was quickly replaced with fresh despair and fear.

"Damn it" he whispered . Jordan began to play with something in his hands in agitation that Rickie couldn't fully see. As Jordan turned it over in his hands ,Rickie realised it was a miraculous medal.

"I thought you weren't religious" Rickie said simply as he pointed at the small metal piece. Jordan shrugged nonchalantly before facing Rickie again.

"The medal was my Mom's. I always carry it on me, as like a safety blanket in case I ever really need help" Jordan said flatly. Rickie looked at him with sympathy, knowing what an item like this meant to his friend. It was the kind of thing taken out when comfort was needed most. Rickie too had a medal his late father had given to him when he was very young .

Jordan took a deep breath, trying to relieve the tightness in his chest.

"When I was a little kid, my Mom used to drag me and my brothers to church ever Sunday. Like, without fail . She'd make us say our pray every night too, you know, hail Mary's and the works. She always believed in it, you know." Jordan's eyes became distant as he was lost in a memory, a slight smile growing across his mouth. "You know, I met Shane for the first time at some church group thing that his mom and mine went to. That day we put, like, an entire pack of skittles in the holy water font and the water went brownish/purple. They couldn't get the stains out for, like, four weeks and Father Kavanagh threatened to excommunicate us if we did it again" Jordan sighed sadly at the memory. His voice grew embittered once more as he continued "But then…she left…. anyway ever since then me and God haven't exactly been on good terms. So I haven't set foot in a church in decades…..didn't think it could change the card I'd been dealt even if I did". Rickie found himself remembering a conversation he and Jordan had many years before when Rickie had hit rock bottom.

"_I'm gonna light a candle for you on Christmas Eve"_

"_Oh yeah, you think that changes anything?"_

For the first time since then, he understood Jordan's reticence towards putting destiny in the hands of faith. Maybe he was right, but in times of crisis what had they left?

"You know what the greatest irony is though?" Jordan laughed spitefully. "The one time I actually want to ask for help and I can't goddamn well remember how to. Angela might die and I'm too stupid to remember the words to a simple pray." He squeezed the medal tightly in his hand in exasperation at his shortcomings. Rickie looked at him thoughtfully before standing up. Jordan stared up at him in surprise, hurt and embarrassed by his friends reaction to his confession. Rickie gave him a gentle smile.

"C'mon we'll light a candle for Angela, all you have to do is repeat after me. Ok?" he said kindly. Jordan realised straightaway his mistake, he nodded and reciprocated the smile as he rose to his feet. They both walked slowly over to the rows of candles. Rickie picked up one first and Jordan followed suit, they lit them against the other flames. The wicks hissed softly as they were engulfed . Watching the flickering fire, Rickie began the prayer gradually and Jordan repeated each syllable earnestly softly, meaning every word with all of his heart.

"Hail Mary, mother of grace….."

Jason awoke later to find his father sitting to his left asleep , his head propped awkwardly against the wall. Patty, Rayanne and Brian were gone, while Rickie sat leaning against Jack's shoulder, staring absentmindedly at the wall. Jason stretched his stiff back and cleared his throat.

"How long was I out?" Jason said quietly, his voice scratchy from sleep. Rickie cocked his head slightly and gave him a quick smile.

"About four hours. How are you feeling?" Rickie said kindly.

"Sore." Jason said sullenly "Where's grandma and the other two?".

" Rayanne and Brian went to the beach house to get a couple of hours sleep. The doctors said we you can visit Angela in an hour so Patty went to grab some coffee." Rickie replied cheerfully.

"Mom's ok?" Jason said hopefully. Rickie gave him a concerned glance and sighed.

"She's….alive. They're just not sure when she'll wake up." Rickie didn't dare add the "_they're not sure if she'll wake up"_ because the boy had been through enough. Jason nodded in understanding. Beside him Jordan stirred. He opened his eye's and looked around sleepily. "What time is it?" he said groggily and he rubbed at his aching eyes.

Jack checked his watch. "Just gone 3 am" he said quietly.

Jordan sat up in his chair and flexed his hands out in front of him. He looked at Jason uncomfortably, his son was avoiding his gaze. Jordan knew he had to apologise.

"Look Jay, I'm sorry about earlier. I just needed to clear my head . But I'm here now" he said beseechingly . Jason just shrugged and continued to ignore him.

"Whatever, it's fine" he said tersely. Jordan reached over and placed his hand between Jason's shoulder blades gently.

"No it's not. But I can promise you it will never happen again. Ok?". Jason finally turned to him and saw he was being sincere. He nodded in acceptance. Jordan stood and kissed the top of his son's dark head, giving him a grateful smile.

"I'm going to grab a coke, want one?" he said. Jason nodded.

"Just don't be too long. They're letting us see Mom really soon." Jason called after him.

Jordan stopped and looked at him in uncertainty.

"That's great, but I don't think it'll matter if I'm back or not. They don't really let anyone outside blood relatives or spouses into the ICU." Jordan said regretfully. Jason stuck his chin in defiance.

"Well I'm not going in without you. They can't stop it" he said stubbornly. Jordan cracked his first full smile all day, he grinned almost in pride at his son's flagrant disobedience. Jason had a point though, they couldn't stop him.

"Ok." Jordan said rakishly "screw the system".

Any brief sense of calm and serenity Jordan had regained disappeared the moment he saw Angela. Her fragile form was marred with stitches and bandages, her skin as pale as alabaster. What terrified him most was the large tube that went to her throat, making her chest rise and fall. The fact she was not breathing of her own accord solidified the fact in his mind that she may never come back to him. That this may be the end. Every fibre of his being wanted to swap places with her, to be the one fighting to survive. He swore he'd lay down his life just to see her look at him one last time. To smile at him. Jordan's need to run from the pressure of the room grew almost unbearable, but this time he held strong and stayed. He would never run away from his feelings again. As he, Jason and Patty stood in the small room they silently made a pact. They were going to get through this together. Jordan reached out and caught Patty's hand in his, while she wrapped an arm around Jason's slumped shoulders.

"She's going to get better. I swear she will." Jordan said without any hesitation. They stood there in silence, determined to be there every step of the way.

* * *

Two weeks had passed and things had fallen into a steady routine centred around the hospital. Jason, Patty, Rayanne and Jordan had stayed in a rented beach house not far from the hospital as to be at hand and reachable at all times. Rickie and Jack had been forced to return to L.A because of work commitments that couldn't be broken, but called twice a day to get an update on their friend. While Brian had taken the drastic action and for once negated his usual commitments to work. He'd extended his vacation time, leaving only for short spaces of time when it was vitally necessary. Together everyone shared the responsibility of someone being present in Angela's room at all times. They all felt this collective need that she should never be left alone, in case the worst should happen.

Despite his initial panicked reaction to the circumstances, Jordan became her most constant companion, always willing to take over sitting with her whenever anyone needed to leave. Sometimes he read to her, told her something funny that had happened in his absence or sang to her ideas for songs. Most of the time he just held her hand and hoped it to be the day she'd finally open her eyes. Unfortunately that day still hadn't arrived, but his hope remained that it would soon. When Jordan wasn't with her, it was his daily ritual to go to the hospital chapel and light a candle, repeating the prayers his mother had taught him so long ago. The same ones Rickie had helped him remember. Jordan's optimism was infectious, it helped lift the broken spirit's of his friends and family. It allowed Jason to forgive himself enough to smile again and Jordan to redeem himself in his son's eyes.

Outside the boundaries of the medical centre, everyone tried to let life continue on in a normal fashion. This sense of regularity and control seemed at times forced, but was done both for the benefit of Jason and the sanity of everyone else. Though they tried to make the best of it, forming an almost makeshift family complete with Taco Tuesday, lazy Sunday mornings and Saturday night board games, there was forever a feeling of being in limbo. They were all waiting, for what exactly it was never clear.

Angela's condition was improving, much to the delight of her doctors and loved ones. The hole in her lung was nearly completely healed, while the doctors were positive about the condition of her leg and how it would respond to future treatment. Yet…..the thing that had always concerned them most, the condition of her brain, still remained an anxiety.

Jordan whistled tunefully as he walked with Jason to Angela's room. They'd spent the afternoon playing catch in the sunny park, which was a welcome break from the fluorescent bulb lit hospital corridors. As was rare in the current situation, their mood was light hearted and care free. Jason tossed the ball in the air with his good arm as they walked to relieve Patty of her duties.

"Dad I was thinking…if I make the J.V team again this year, I expect you to be at, like, every game. And for ever Home run I hit I want 100 bucks. You know… to motivate me and stuff." Jason said cheekily.

"Didn't you hit like forty out of the park last season?" Jordan said jadedly, this wasn't the first time Jason had mentioned this little money making idea.

"Your point being?" Jason replied cockily with a grin.

"I'm not giving you thousands of dollars, so stop suggesting it . You want something, just complain about it like a normal teenager until you get it." Jordan said jokingly and Jason pouted mockingly.

"I will on the other hand promise to be go to as many games as I can."

"Well at least that's something." Jason mumbled in feigned annoyance.

Their easy going banter was suddenly silenced as they rounded the corner and saw Patty and one of the doctors talking solemnly. Patty's face was full of worry and dread, a look which hadn't graced her features in well over a week. Whatever the doctor was telling Patty, the news was not good. The doctor and Patty stopped talking as Jason and Jordan approached. Patty tried to hide her obvious upset as she saw her grandson's concerned expression. She smiled at him.

"How's my favourite boy today?" she said, her voice full of strained good humour to hide the more difficult truth.

"Grandma….is everything ok?" Jason replied carefully, noticing her peculiar behaviour.

Something flashed in her eyes and she hesitated. Patty shared a look with Jordan for a brief a second as she struggled to find a way out of this situation. Before she could answer, Jordan alleviated the problem.

"Jason, I need you to go to the cafeteria and get your grandma a muffin and a cappuccino. She's tired." Jordan said coaxingly.

"Hold on…there's something going on. I want to hear what's so important." Jason said suspiciously. Jordan drew a frustrated breath

"Jason please just go and get your grandma some food." his tone much more firm this time. Jason looked at the adults defiantly.

"Not until you tell me what's going on." he objected loudly. Jordan could feel his blood pressure rising. He too desperately wanted to find out what was happening, but was not willing to have his son present for whatever bomb was about to drop.

"For once in your life just do as you're told Jason" Jordan snapped "I'll tell you later. Alright!" A dark scowl descend across Jason's handsome face, but he did as requested. "Fine," he said sulkily as he placed the ball he'd been tossing loudly onto the table. Turning on his heel he stalked off down the hallway to the stairs.

The doctor looked at Jordan and Patty uneasily as he cleared his throat.

"Perhaps I should let you explain the situation to Mr Catalano, Mrs Chase?"

Jordan looked at him with a murderous glare.

"No. I want to hear it from you" he said with gritted teeth "Because yesterday you said her condition was improving faster than expected." The doctor stared at the linoleum sheepishly. As he lifted his grey eyes to meet Jordan's blue ones, his regret was evident.

"I'm sorry Mr Catalano but we can't always control the results we get."

Patty looked at Jordan sombrely.

"I think it might be best if you sit down for this dear." she said unhappily.

Jordan wordlessly did as requested, his glaring eyes never leaving the doctor.

The older man shifted uncomfortably under Jordan's fierce eyes.

"This afternoon we did an MRI scan on Angela and while the results were positive in that the swelling in her brain is almost completely gone, on closer examination of the scan we discovered something we hadn't seen before." He paused as he tried to word the next part right. "It seems that a small portion of her brain had been damaged due to oxygen deprivation during the short time she was in cardiac arrest." Jordan's frown deepened.

"What! How is this only coming to light now?" he said in exasperation.

The doctor sighed.

"The damaged area was so minute that we couldn't see it until the brain had stopped swelling. The unfortunate thing is it is in a vital portion of the brain, and that is what my colleagues and I think has been causing her coma." Jordan was at a loss to what to say, he stared the floor irately, unable to express his new found anguish.

"What is our next course of action? Do you need to operate?" Patty said steadily. The doctor shook his head and glanced at her remorsefully.

"Invasive surgery would do nothing but exacerbate the problem and may destroy whatever is left of Angela's mind. It may heal itself, but the fact remains, the longer she stays in the coma the more likely she is to never wake up from it. Essentially from this point on it is a matter of luck."

Jordan scoffed loudly "So….what exactly is it you're suggesting we do? Allow her to just lie there and hope she just gets better?" The doctor frowned indignantly.

"What I'm suggesting is it may be time for you both to consider the alternative."

Jordan's eyes widened and his face reddened considerably as his anger rose within his body.

"The alterative? Are you suggesting what I think you are?" he spat out, the doctor's eyes fell to the floor guiltily. Patty's brow knitted in confusion.

"What do you mean ? Am I missing something?" she said completely baffled by Jordan's hostility. The muscles in Jordan's jaw clenched as he turned to her.

"The medical professional here is suggesting that we pull the plug. That we give up on her." Horror filled her features and she stared up at the doctor with the deep hurt.

"That's not exactly what I was…what I mean is…..maybe sometimes we all need to know when to let go. " the doctor said awkwardly. Jordan stood up and walked over to the doctor, stopping only inches from his face. Jordan's eyes were fiery as he spoke in a low voice. "Don't you dare ever say that again, to any one of us…..or I swear to God I will do everything in power to destroy you. Got it". The doctor gave him an almost smug smile in retaliation.

"Regrettably for you Mr Catalano…..you have no legal say in this decision. Only Patty Chase has the power of attorney." Jordan glared at him before glancing down at Patty. Jordan felt his heart sink into the pit of stomach as he saw the conflicted look on her face.

"Patty….please tell me you're not seriously considering this d-bags idea?" he said in alarm.

"I don't know what I think, but what I'm sure of is I can't have my daughter living like this forever. She would never want this" Patty's voice seemed far away as she spoke.

"Patty please" Jordan begged. She looked at him brokenly.

"Jordan go to your son. He needs to know what's going on." she said stoically.

"Patty…" Jordan began. She shot him a glare "Just go Jordan". Taking one last glance at Angela, her chest rising and falling steadily in the off white bed, Jordan turned and walked out. As soon as he was out of sight of the room, he collapsed against the wall. Sinking to his feet, unable to handle the fresh wave of despair he buried his head in his hands.

A little while later he wandered downstairs to find his son. Biting at his thumb in agitation, he braced himself for what was to come. Jordan took a deep breath as he approached Jason in the cafeteria. The boy was sitting at one of the tables, a half eaten container of chocolate pudding in front of him.

"I thought I asked you to get Patty something to eat. Not feed yourself" Jordan said with a slight smile. Jason looked up at him humourlessly and played with his spoon in disinterest.

"We both know you just needed to get rid of me, I thought I might as well treat myself to some pudding." he said gruffly. Jordan shot him an conceding smirk before sitting in the seat opposite. Jason continued to play with the spoon as he watched his father carefully.

"So…..how bad is it?" he said directly. Jordan's smirk slowly fell away.

"Quite" he replied softly. Jason sighed and sat up straighter in his chair.

"And I thought the worst thing that might happen to today would be the cops finally coming to question me. It's weird they haven't " Jason said sullenly.

Jordan shifted in his seat uncomfortably, hoping Jason wouldn't notice. He'd paid the police off the day after the accident, the couple in the Ferrari too. The lady had nearly miscarried her baby, but Jordan had offered them enough monetary compensation to silence any further criminal or civil suit. He did this to ensure Jason still had options in his future. To make sure he could still have the choice of going to an Ivy League school if he wanted. Jordan felt guilt-ridden for his actions but was not willing to let his son take such a big hit to his future over something that wasn't entirely his fault.

"Yeah that is weird" Jordan said vaguely as he tried to hide his guilty conscience. Jason was too distracted by his own thoughts to notice Jordan's strange reaction. He put the spoon down and waited for Jordan to tell him about the doctor.

"So how bad is bad?" Jason said softly.

Jordan felt drained after his conversation with Jason. To say it had been difficult would have been an understatement. His son had broken down in tears as soon as the reality had sunken in. Immediately he grasped there was a distinct possibility they'd have to switch off the machine that was keeping Angela alive. Very soon he could lose his Mom. Jordan had held him tight and let his son cry until he had no tears left to shed. After that he'd insisted Jason go home with Patty and he'd stay the night with Angela. It was as much to aid his son's recovery as it was to soothe Jordan's turbulent mind.

Patty and Jordan exchanged terse nods as he and Jason entered the hospital room. Yet she could see in his eyes he bore no grudge towards her, he understood her dichotomy . No words were needed to be exchanged over the matter, the reconciliation between them was instant.

"C'mon sweetie, let's go back to the house and get ourselves some Ben and jerry's and an old black and white movie ." Patty said with a warm smile as she lead Jason out. Turning back to Jordan she gave him a meaningful glance, silently thanking him for his forgiveness.

"I'll get Rayanne to call you when she's leaving the beach house tomorrow" she said genially. Jordan nodded half-heartedly. He watched them leave before his gaze fell on the figure in the bed. It was like every night he'd ever spent sitting by her bedside, but some how different all at the same time. Darker almost. Perhaps the weight of it all, like the knowledge that they were heading towards an inevitable end, was effecting how he saw her. In this moment, every breath she took was a gift.

Jordan crossed the small room and sat in his usual chair. He sat there mutely watching her closely, trying to memorise every aspect of her. Even in her broken state ,she was still the most radiant and enrapturing woman he'd ever seen. This was his Angela, the one girl that had both driven him insane, but also brought him balance. Jordan knew without a single doubt he loved her heart and soul, but alas he'd run out of time to show her. But that didn't mean he couldn't still tell her how he felt, better late then never. Right?

He leaned forward and took her warm hand in between his. Pressing a small kiss on it he gave her a smile.

"How was my girl today? I hope Patty wasn't too boring for you?" he said teasingly " I know she grates on your nerves, but don't worry I won't tell her". As he ran his thumb over her hand ,his usual light-hearted speech caught in his throat and he found himself unable to maintain the pretence of merriment.

"The thing is Angela…..today…..the doctor, he told us something. It's….something that changes everything." Jordan watched her closely as he spoke.

"He said that on your scan ,they found an area of your brain had been damaged in the accident. They say it can't be operated on, that we have to wait and see what happens" Everything sounded hollow as he spoke, like he knew it was only a matter of time.

"The thing is they're all starting to lose patience. They've stopped believing you'll wake up and it's starting to get to Patty. The doctor even hinted at turning the life support off today". Jordan had to stop talking as the acidic feeling of anger rose up his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut as he suppressed his rush of fury.

"There is nothing official I can do to stop them if they convince your mother it is the right decision, but I promise I will fight with everything I've got not to let that happen." Jordan slowly let go of Angela's hand and lifted his hand towards her face. He hesitantly touched her cheek, his fingers lightly tracing the line of cheekbone.

Gradually he began to caress the right side her face, breathing deeply in fleeting happiness at the warmth radiating below his hand. His eyes came to rest on the tube which kept her alive and the darkness overcame him again.

"Time keeps just passing by and no matter how much I try to escape it, the probability of you ever smiling at me again becomes more and more distant. The odds of me ever getting a second chance to be with you become less….likely. And I think of my life, of a world without you in it, Angela I don't know who I am without you. How will I ever raise Jason alone?". Jordan could feel himself edging closer to total desolation, his voice started to break as he carried on.

"I spent so much of my life determined not to let anyone in, wary of letting them see behind the cool exterior…..but when I see your face, all the walls I've ever built fall away. All it ever took was one small smile from you and I was lost." Jordan sighed heavily "For sixteen years I tried to forget you, but I couldn't. It's like you're imprinted on my brain or something. But the power you've always held over me, it scared me, caused me to push you away. Angela Chase you terrify me because you move me more than any earthquake ever could. You show me what it is love something and care about someone more than yourself. You gave me a son, you gave me everything." Jordan's voice was barely above audible as he continued on in desperation.

"And I'm not willing to let my insecurities keep us apart anymore, because I'd rather live the rest of my life terrified with you than live a single day unafraid without you." Jordan stared at the ground as he prepared to lay it all out. "I guess what I'm trying to say is what I've always been trying to tell you ….Angela Chase I love you. Like so much, it almost consumes me sometimes. Which is why I need you to wake up Angie. There's no one I'll love as much as I love you. Ever". Jordan didn't know exactly when he'd begun to cry, but he suddenly found his face was wet with silent tears. He didn't bother try to wipe them away as he gazed at Angela in total heart break.

"Sweetie please wake up" he whispered finally as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. Jordan felt so drained as he lay his head on the bed near her head, his eyes progressively closing in exhaustion.

Just as he was beginning to drift to sleep, the monitor began to beep loudly and Angela's heart rate rose rapidly. Jordan sat up and looked at it perplexed. His attention was drawn swiftly back to Angela as a gagging sound came from her throat. Jordan froze to the spot as he watched her fingers begin to twitch at the same time, her eyelids fluttering. Soon the choking sound became more violent as Angela's heart rate started to race. Jordan rushed forward abruptly to hit the nurses alarm as he regained his senses. He stood up and tried to calm her, stroking her hair as he held onto her hand tightly.

The nurses pushed him out of the way as they came in with a medical cart.

"What's going on? Why is she choking?" Jordan gasped in panic. The nurses ignored him and set about working on Angela.

"This ones way too worked up, we'll have to give her a mild sedative before we can remove the tube." the elder of the nurses said in irritation. Jordan's eyes widened in surprise. "Sedated her! She's in a coma for Christ sake. And why are you removing her intubation? " he said in deep concern. Out of the corner of his eye Jordan saw the doctor from earlier watching the scene in mild interest.

"She's choking because she's fighting against the breathing apparatus." he said simply. Jordan's face drained off colour as he realised what was happening.

"She's coming around isn't she" he said in disbelief "She's waking up" The doctor gave him a slight smile.

"Yes she is Mr Catalano." With that he left and walked off down the corridor. Jordan stared after him in shock, there was a sudden gasp behind him followed by a short fit of coughing. As Jordan turned he saw Angela free of the awful machine she'd been hooked up to for weeks, and her chest rising up and down as her breathing returned to normal.

The nurses stood checking her over, shining light in her eyes and clicking there fingers to check her reaction to stimuli. His heart swelled with hope as her eyes opened for the briefest second and met his.

Images swam in front of Angela eyes as an unbelievably bright light shone in her eyes. There were three fuzzy people standing in front of her. One of them was achingly familiar. Someone beside her was clicking their fingers, while another called her name. She opened her eyes a little wider for a second, and she saw him. Angela saw him, his blue eyes full of desperate hope and agony. She fought to keep her eyes open but didn't have the strength yet.

Her throat pained her mercilessly but she found herself forming his name on her lips.

"Jordan"

He heard her say his name, it was so quiet he thought he'd imagined it.

"Apart from the expected grogginess, her reactions are quite good" the younger nurse said to the other with satisfaction "A good result for once." They turned towards the shell shocked Jordan and excused themselves, instantly realising they were getting in the way of an emotional reunion.

"Angela" he choked out in incredulity.

Her eyes opened slowly and met his with an inexplicable warmth. Jordan felt his heart explode with joy as a small, sweet smile came across her features.

As soon as she saw him properly she'd felt an uncontrollable rush of love, as a half remembered dream returned to her of a heart felt confession. In some recess of her mind she knew, she hadn't dreamed it. She knew it had happened. Angela had heard everything.

"Jordan those were the most romantic things anyone's ever said to me, but I'm way too doped to remember any of this ." Angela said breathlessly as smiled at him in a daze. Jordan let out a short burst of laughter in surprise and awe.

" How much did you hear?" Jordan said in wonderment. Angela reached up and touched his face affectionately. "Enough" she said more seriously. Jordan nodded slightly as his face flashed pink in embarrassment. He studied her for a moment in completely stunned delight. All at once they both moved in sync without speaking, and pulled one another into a tight embrace.

In the morning when Rayanne arrived in the hospital she found them both asleep upon the narrow bed facing one another, Jordan's arm slung protectively across Angela's waist. Both totally at peace with the world .

**Hope y'all liked it because it was one of the toughest to write simply because of the emotions involved (plus I was a tad out of practise). Please review because it'll make me want to update faster! Adios.**


	16. Broken Strings

_**Hey again to my loyal readers, hope the Summer is going well for you all. This chapter was a lot longer than I'd originally intended but I really enjoyed writing it because it was a nice break from the doom and gloom of the previous chapters. The 'episode' includes some kinda fluffy cute moments I hope you'll like. Rest assured there are some more coming the next chapter! Please be patient if I don't update for a while after this chapter because I'm moving countries and starting a new job next week. You will be rewarded for you're virtue. The story should have approx 5/6 more chapters and most of which will be heavily J/A. PLEASE review if you liked this one, it makes feel better about my complicated life! AND helps me improve as a writer.**_

_**Much love**_

_**-RedCatCatalano**_

The early morning sun shone brightly through the hospital windows as Jordan Catalano awoke little by little from his deep sleep. As his drowsy eyes adjusted to the light, it took a moment for him to realize where he was, his body pressed closely against someone ,precariously balanced upon a narrow hospital bed. His tired gaze fell on the figure that lay inches from him and everything came rushing back to him. Angela's flushed sleeping face filled him with renewed joy as an easy smile formed across his mouth. There had been few experiences in his life that compared to this one. Waking up with Angela in his arms after being so close to losing her ,was one of the best feelings he had ever known. One which he wished would stay forever. It was like sun had come out for the first time in his life and he could bask in the glow unafraid of the consequences. Jordan's left arm was still slung comfortably around her waist, holding her loosely against him. Her hands lay against his chest, clutching at his shirt slackly .He slowly slid his hand towards her face and brushed the stray golden strands of her hair away so he could see her clearer. Angela sighed contentedly in her sleep as he continued to touch her and seemed to shifted in closer towards him. He pressed his face against the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair. Jordan's heart began to beat a little faster as the familiar smell of her, warm chocolate and cinnamon, enveloped his senses.

Jordan didn't remember when exactly they'd found themselves in this position, so intimately posed upon the limited space. He was even more puzzled by how she'd managed to comfortably arrange herself facing him without having serious pain in her leg, but somehow she had. After the elation of Angela's revival, everything that occurred afterwards was a slight blur. Like he'd been so overloaded with surprise his brain had been turned off for a couple of moments. All Jordan knew was they hadn't spoken much, Jordan had only assured her that Jason was fine as they hung onto one another in a desperate hug . Angela had then released him, budged over in the bed as much as she could manage and pulled him in next to her. Jordan had readily complied, driven by compulsion to do anything to please her and by his own need to relieve the exhaustion that rearing it's head again. Angela had buried her face against his chest while he had placed his arms around her. Together they lay silently, immediately soothed to sleep by the presence of the other. It had been the best night of sleep he'd had had in months ,despite the cramped conditions.

Jordan closed his eyes feeling dizzy by the close proximity of her, and a strange sensation rippled through his gut. One that he hadn't experienced before, like a feeling of being home and totally at ease. He knew it could not last though, time would tell how much of his confession Angela would actually remember. As his eyes opened again, he wanted more then ever before to kiss her . To prove to his disbelieving mind that this was all real. Jordan quickly decided one sly peck on her sleeping lips wouldn't hurt anyone , hell no one would know except him. He quickly pressed a chaste kiss on her full mouth but as he pulled back he heard someone clearing their throat loudly directly behind him. The action was purposeful and intended to make Jordan aware of the unseen person's presence. Jordan sat up a little and craned his neck to see who it was, as heat began creeping up his neck to his face . He knew the mystery spectator had most likely witnessed all of what he'd just done. Jordan's embarrassment grew tenfold as his reddening face turned to see Rayanne smirking up at him with an arched eyebrow.

"You Jordan Catalano have a lot of explaining to do" she said with obvious humor.

Jordan looked at his friend sheepishly "How long have you been sitting there?" he said softly in shame.

"You mean how much did I see of you perving over my unconscious best friend Catalano….pretty much all of it " Rayanne said mischievously. Jordan's face was now hot with humiliation. "Oh…." he managed to sigh.

Rayanne Graff hated to admit it ,but at that moment Jordan Catalano was disarmingly adorable, his dark brown hair sticking out at odd ends and his handsome face sleepily blushing. It made her smile deviously, knowing he was beyond humiliation by being caught in such a compromising position. She knew she should have been furious at him for not telling anyone that Angela was out of her coma, but when she'd seen them so closely entwined it had melted her cynical heart. Rayanne Graff had found any residual anger had left her body before she'd even sat down to wait for them to wake up. She'd always made a mockery of the saccharine sentimentality others held for people love stories, but with Angela and Jordan she'd always been a hopeless romantic. The present circumstances she'd discovered them in, had piqued her curiosity enormously. How exactly had Jordan Catalano gotten himself into Angela's bed after what had happened between them?

"So….I'm waiting for some answers." Rayanne said more firmly, genuinely interested as to how her friend had final come around.

Jordan sighed audibly, disappointed his little bubble of happiness and intimacy had been burst so quickly. He turned back to Angela and reluctantly moved his arm from her waist. Then as carefully as he could ,Jordan slowly turned Angela over onto her back, taking extra care not to jar her damaged right leg. Angela whimpered in her sleep in displeasure, sensing the loss of his body heat against her. Jordan twisted himself around fully to face Rayanne, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

"Look….I'm really sorry for not calling anyone but it just happened so fast…and we were both so exhausted….I was just so blindsided I couldn't think straight" Jordan explained tiredly.

"It's okay, I totally understand and I'm not mad. I just want to know what happened, I mean yesterday Patty told us they wanted to switch off the machines and then…she's awake! What the hell happened?" Rayanne said more insistently. Jordan shrugged as he looked at her in uncertainty.

"I don't know, I was just talking to her. Asked her to wake up or something….I don't remember really. I closed my eyes and the next thing I know she's choking on the damn tubing. I called the nurses in and they sedated her so they could remove it. And then…..she was conscious. Just like that" Jordan shrugged again so nonchalantly it made Rayanne suspect his relaxed manner was a little forced, like he was trying to hide the reason for his earlier embarrassment.

"So you just asked her to wake up, and she just did" Rayanne said, her suspicions growing as Jordan simply nodded in response.

"Then how'd you wind up basically spooning? Because as I recall, you guys were not exactly on good terms after what happened in Three Rivers." Rayanne asked pointedly. The deep red color returned to Jordan's cheeks as he avoided her probing gaze.

"I dunno, maybe I said other stuff to her or something and she heard it. I can't remember" Jordan said intentionally vague. Rayanne arched an eyebrow at him.

"Bullshit, you do know exactly what you said to her and it must have been good because she obviously heard it. Just spit out Catalano" Rayanne exclaimed persistently. Jordan scowled as he looked at her insolently.

"No".

"Jordan if you don't tell me what made Angela forgive you, I swear I'll tell Shane it was you not Dylan Michaels that destroyed his snare drum at Holloway's party Senior year." Jordan cursed under his breath as he realized he was cornered. The incident had ended Shane's friendship with Dylan years before, if Rayanne told Shane the truth there'd be hell to pay. His embarrassment forgotten he glared at her angrily.

"Fine, you really want to know. I said that I didn't want to live without her in my life anymore, that she means everything to me and I love her. Happy now?" he growled. Rayanne's eyes grew wide in surprise as a delighted smile spread across her face, but Jordan's annoyance did not subside.

"Damn. I didn't think you had it in you Jordan" she replied dazedly.

"Don't look so self-satisfied Graff, she was so doped up she probably doesn't remember anything about last night." he said despondently. Rayanne's pleased reaction slipped a little as she realized there was a grain of truth in his outburst.

"You don't know that for certain" she said softly, trying to persuade him not to be so pessimistic. Jordan sighed sullenly and he got to his feet.

"I guess I better go call Jason and the others" he said blankly.

Before he made it out of the room, Angela stirred in her bed. Groaning loudly, she slowly opened her eyes. She gazed around the room frantically, visibly confused by her surroundings. Angela's agitation calmed as her eyes finally focused upon Rayanne.

"Where am I? What happened?" she said groggily, her voice weak with fatigue.

Jordan heart sank to the floor as he heard this, he fucking hated when was right. She didn't remember.

Rayanne gave her a warm and overjoyed smile, she leaned forward to catch her friends hand between her own to calm Angela's anxiety.

"You're in the hospital in Southampton because you had a car accident sweetie. You were in a coma for nearly two weeks" she replied soothingly. Angela's eyes seemed to sharpen as images flashed through her mind. Like a movie it played, the 72' Plymouth and the Ferrari colliding horrifically loud, both skidding across the beach road out of control towards the old oak trees, Jason's terrified face so pale as he tried to stop.

"Jason, what about him? Is he okay?" she said frantically.

"He's fine. Got a nasty broken collar bone and cracked rib in the crash and needed a couple of stitches for the gash on his head. But he's healing up nicely" Jordan said reassuringly from the doorway. Angela breathed out loudly in relief, she turned and looked at him for the first time. As his vibrant blue eyes met hers she felt a jolt of happiness. As he stood there looking at her warmly, his appearance so charmingly disheveled, a fresh wave of memories hit her. Memories of heartfelt confessions, late night embraces and renewed joy of a relationship repaired. But everything seemed hazy about it, as if it was the recollection of very vivid dream. Angela pushed away the feeling of giddy glee as she gazed at him, she could figure out later what the memories meant, right now she needed reality and cold, hard facts.

"Where is he? I want to see him" she said more calmly as she glanced back and forth between Rayanne and Jordan.

"He's at the beach house we're all staying at. I'll go call to get Patty to bring him." Jordan said gently. He glanced at Rayanne totally crestfallen for a moment before turning on his heel and heading into the hallway to call Patty. Rayanne looked out after him sympathetically, knowing he was bitterly disappointed Angela had no recollection of his declaration of love.

Angela hissed in pain as she shifted a little too fast to face Rayanne.

"What the hell is wrong with my leg?" she said through her gritted teeth, the pain still almost unbearable.

"You broke it in like six places, they still need to operate to fix it properly" Rayanne said matter of factly. Angela let her head drop into her pillow heavily.

"Great" she huffed. She lay there silently for a couple of seconds before a realization hit her hard.

"If I was in coma for two weeks, I'm a little disappointed with your reaction to my miraculous revival." She said in amusement, but genuinely offended underneath it all. Rayanne shot her a smirk.

"Oh I'm sorry I'm not dancing on the table…..but you'd actually woke up before I got here so I'm a little spent in the overflow of deep emotions right now ." Angela looked at her in surprise.

"I was already awake, when?" she said puzzled.

"Late last night. You were lucid enough to talk to Jordan for a short while apparently."

"Really are you sure?" Angela gasped in incredulity.

"I assume so considering I found him sleeping cozily beside you on the bed this morning" Rayanne replied teasingly.

"What?" she exclaimed, bolting forward she winced in pain.

"You really don't remember do you" Rayanne said a little sadly. Angela opened her mouth to reply, realizing that her suspected dream was looking more like a reality. A fact that did not sit to well in her mind, Angela decided it was best not to acknowledge this until she'd ascertained what such an event entailed for her own sanity and feelings towards Jordan. It certainly complicated issues.

"Remember what?" she lied. Rayanne's expression grew gloomy as she said this, quietly lamenting what had been a prospective final reconciliation between her two friends .

"Clearly you and Jordan have a lot of things to talk about" she said unenthusiastically.

"Talk about what?" Jordan said cheerfully as he returned to the room.

"Nothing. It's not important" Angela said in feigned indifference as she shot Rayanne a look, silently telling her to let the issue lie. Jordan just shrugged his shoulders.

"They're on their way now and will be here in fifteen. I'm heading to the cafeteria , either of you want something. Angela, Rayanne?" Jordan said politely, trying to mask his frustrations and hurt . Angela shook her head, giving him a brief, friendly smile. Jordan reciprocated it and left the room once more.

Rayanne watched the interaction carefully and suddenly saw something she'd overlooked. As she watched Angela, she saw a brief flash of regret wash across her face and shrouded unhappiness grew in her eyes, like she was internally chastising herself over something. Rayanne became to suspect that maybe it easier for Angela to apparently forget? Maybe she wanted them to believe she was puzzled as to what had happened? Whatever her reason, Rayanne did not agree with her secrecy. For once, Angela was the one hiding from her feelings, not Jordan.

"You remember don't you" Rayanne said simply. Angela looked away towards the doorway where Jordan had exited to evade Rayanne's discouraging gaze.

"Yeah. I do " Angela replied slowly as she looked at Rayanne guardedly, unable to hide the truth "and you're not going to breathe a word to him. So let's not talk about. Alright. " she added doggedly.

Rayanne sighed in resignation, but nodded in agreement.

* * *

Jason stood just outside Angela's hospital room a little later, apprehensively biting at his thumb. He'd bolted out of the car the minute Patty had stopped the rented hatchback, but had screeched to an abrupt stop directly on the cusp of the private room. Jason could see Angela and Rayanne laughing and smiling through the thin crack in the door. He was awash with a sudden overwhelming feeling fear , convinced that when they finally spoke she would hate him for what he'd done to her. Feelings of guilt swam around his head while his trepidation gnawed at his gut. Jason found himself immobile and afraid of crossing the final boundary to talk to his mother, a thing he'd hoped for every second since they'd crashed.

Jordan spotted him immediately as he rounded the corner with a box of Boston cream donuts, Angela's favorite. He instantly recognized his son's agitation and knew the reason behind it. As he approached Jason he gave him a reassuring smile, the young man though did not seem to relax when he return the gesture.

"Hey. You got breakfast?" Jason asked quietly pointing at the box.

"Yeah just some donuts from the place across the street. Want one?" Jordan smiled as handed the box towards Jason.

"Nah, Grandma made me pancakes just before you called so I'm good". Jordan studied him for a moment, Jason continued to bit at his thumb and began pacing a little.

"You going in buddy." Jordan said after a beat. Jason glanced up at him for a second in hesitation, his blue eyes fleetingly filled with terror. Jason was struck dumb and did not answer or explain.

"You know she's not mad with you or anything so you don't need to look so goddamn petrified. She just wants to see for herself that you're fine" Jordan said soothingly.

"Dad I nearly killed her, I just don't know what to say or how I'm going to make this up to her." Jason replied meekly as he looked up his father pleadingly . Jordan placed his arm around Jason's shoulders, taking care not to hurt his collarbone, and looked deeply into his eyes.

"It was an accident Jay, all you need to say is you're sorry. But you have to stop beating yourself up and go and see your mother." Jason nodded and took a deep breath to steady his nerves. "Okay" he said increasingly calmer and reached out to catch the door handle. Gradually he opened the door and stepped inside, Jordan by his side.

Angela gasped silently as she saw Jason standing in the doorway and all her lingering worries were extinguished. She could see the tell tale red marks of recently healed cuts on his cheeks, while on his forehead a line of stitches ran the length of his eyebrow to the top corner of his cheekbone. Jason's left arm was securely fastened in an off-white sling, but Angela was finally convinced that he was okay. Jason stood with his head hanging low, eyes securely fixed upon the linoleum floor. There was an awkward silence in the room while both parties searched for the right words. Jordan and Rayanne shared a nervous look, willing one of them to speak first. Thankfully their prayers were answered quickly.

Finally lifting his eyes to Angela, Jason's face visible displayed the shame he felt.

"Mom I'm so sorry…..I don't know what I'd do if you'd…." he whimpered before trailing off , tears beginning to flow from his eyes. Angela's own eyes started to well up too as she watched him. A faint and loving smile came across her lips as she gazed at him softly.

"It's okay baby…..you don't need to be sorry. I'm fine. It was a stupid accident." she said gently. Jason nodded but he still didn't seem free of his guilt.

"Come here" Angela said softly, reaching out towards him. Jason crossed the last few meters and entered into her arms, now openly sobbing. She held him close as he continued to apologize barely above a whisper.

"It's okay" she said steadily as she rocked him slightly back and forth, rubbing his head to ease his distress.

Jordan watched the scene with a distinct sense of relief, glad that his son could now get past his self-reproach and forgive himself. Directly behind him, Jordan heard the deep intake of breath of someone new. Patty Chase stepped into the already crowding room, an expression of wonder upon her face. She could hardly believe that this was a reality. Angela saw her from above Jason's head.

"Mom!" she said happily. Patty smiled widely and rushed over to embrace her family .

"Thank God you're okay." she gasped desperately. Rayanne looked across at Jordan pointedly and he nodded solemnly, knowing instantly what she couldn't say aloud.

"We'll give you guys some space. I'll be downstairs if you need me" Jordan said courteously as he and Rayanne excused themselves and left the room.

* * *

It was close to midnight before Jordan finally ventured back into Angela's room. Patty had gone home an hour beforehand, while Jason had insisted in staying with her until the last possible minute. When Jordan crossed the threshold he saw his son had fallen asleep, his head laying against his mother stomach. Angela stared off towards the sunset through the window, stroking Jason's hair absentmindedly.

"That must have been some talk you guys had" Jordan said good-naturedly, disturbing the peace of the room. Angela gave him an amused grin for first time in a long while, as she caught his eyes warmly.

"Poor kid, I haven't seen him cry that much since he was teething. But I think he'll be alright now" she said sympathetically, continuing to run the fingers through Jason's soft hair. "He really looks like you when he's asleep, like an innocent angel or something. " Jordan said sincerely. Angela's cheek grew an attractive shade of rosy pink.

"Unfortunately appearances can be deceiving, he's more a little devil sometimes" she replied with a slight chuckle ,tenderly tracing a finger over Jason brow.

"Seems a shame to move him, but he'll be cranky in the morning." Jordan said regretfully gazing at mother and son in obvious affection.

Angela sighed sadly "I know."

She went to shake his shoulder when Jordan reached out to still her hand.

"Don't, I'll come get him in the morning and deal with the fall out. Tonight I think you both need the company" Jordan said kindly. Angela looked at him first in surprise and then in delight. "Thanks" she said happily. Realizing he still had his hand upon hers, he cleared his throat awkwardly and took a small step back away from her.

"No problem Chase." he said evenly, trying to hide his discomfort. Angela remained looking at him peacefully and he suddenly felt a flash of guilt. Jordan's gaze once more fell upon the sleeping boy and his heart seemed to fill to capacity as he watched them. There was something so natural about the two of them together . Something he'd a hand in nearly destroy involuntarily. Angela was puzzled when Jordan's stare grew serious.

"You know I should have listened to you about the car. I'm so sorry Angela, for everything" he said earnestly. Angela's expression remained soft and compassionate as she replied.

"You know I could say I told you so ,but I was the one that made him drive the stupid thing home. I mean, I could have called a cab . I'm more at fault then you." Jordan sighed a little in relief and his face became free of worry once more.

"So I don't have to worry about you beating me over the head with my guitar while I sleep?" he said with a cheeky grin. Angela flashed him a flirtatious grin of her own.

"Well I wouldn't say that, time will tell Catalano" she said mischievously. Jordan gave her a mocking look of horror. They both let out a small chuckle and a companionable silence fell between them for a small time.

" Thank you by the way for the donuts earlier, Boston creams are my favorite." Angela said contentedly . Jordan gave her a small self-satisfied smirk. "I know, I remember". Once more she gave him a grin, but this time it grew into a bright and pleased smile. Jordan gave her one just as happy in return. And for that small moment, it was like old times again. For once all they needed to do was smile.

"Anyway I'd better get going, you need your sleep." Jordan said breezily. Disappointment filled her but she nodded in agreement . Truth be told she was done in with the emotional strain of the day. Giving her one last look he slowly turned to walk back out, giving her a small wave. Angela felt a tug on her heart as she watched him leave and she found himself calling him back.

"Jordan wait a second" she said decisively. Jordan stopped and looked back at her expectantly. Angela found herself wanting to tell him she knew what he'd said the night before, that she knew unequivocally what he felt for her. But the words caught in her throat.

"Yeah?" Jordan said hopefully.

"Nothing, it's not important" she sighed harshly. Jordan just shrugged.

"Okay. See tomorrow Angie" he said casually as he turned back around and left.

"Bye Jordan" she said bitterly, cursing her cowardice. Kissing her son's sleeping head her gaze returned to the dark sky outside and she returned to her increasingly stormy thoughts.

* * *

The week after Angela's miraculous recovery seemed to pass quickly as her days were spent between therapies and medical tests, along with tearful reunions with family and friends. The doctors were happy with her progress, baffled by Angela's ability to take such leaps in recuperation in such a short space of time. Such was the speed of healing, they were quickly reassessing their plans for her rehabilitation. Not that Angela gave much thought to this at the present moment, her mind was more preoccupied with her friends and family. Rickie had jumped on the red eye from Los Angeles to JFK the minute Jordan had called him, taking barely any time to breath until he arrived to see Angela alive and well for himself. In her entire life, Angela Chase was sure she'd never seen a grown man cry and pray so rigorously at the same time. Brian Krakow's reaction had been just as overwhelming. The usually inscrutable and reserved Brian had burst into tears when she smiled at him as he entered the room. He'd left the room in unmanageable embarrassment, only returning when he'd composed himself enough to actually talk to her. After reassuring himself that she was out of danger and getting better, Brian reluctantly had to return to Boston to deal with a major case his firm was handling. Rayanne decided to remain in the Hamptons till Angela was being released back to the city, much to the chagrin of her agent. Not that she cared much. Angela enjoyed her company, and she was often a welcome relief from Patty's overbearing attempts at helpfulness. Jason visited everyday too, but was making plans to go back with Jordan to Manhattan the next week because his new school semester was starting soon. Of all her visitors though, Jordan was the most constant presence in Angela's day. They'd seemed to fall back in step one another, a silent truce of sorts keeping their relationship uncomplicated and fun. At present nothing seemed to go beyond friendship, but Angela knew this wouldn't last long. Jordan had after all confessed he loved her, even if she was unconscious at the time. There was also the very blatant issue of the intensely burning passion she had for him, that still wasn't abating .Yet the lull in emotional problems between them gave her the space she needed to consider what to do, in the mean time she could enjoy his company without discomfort over what had gone before. The arrangement was casual and easy, but when he was not with her the day always seemed not to be as bright. He was the one she could lean on the most. Jordan keep her company during the painful medical checks in the morning, holding her hand as she squeezed his in pain. He never complained, only quietly kept holding on to her, smiling reassuringly. A couple of times when she was too tired to read in the evening ,he did it for her. The evenings then became her favorite part of the day, as repeatedly Jordan granted her wish willingly. Even when it was Cosmo.

"How I broke my boyfriend's penis in two places" Jordan read out reluctantly in a deadpan tone. Angela laughed out loudly.

"This ought to be good" she said drolly, a huge smile on her face.

"Do I really have to read this?" Jordan moaned childishly as he placed down the magazine, still smirked slightly.

"You promised to read me a bed time story tonight Jordan" she said confidently, flashing him a brazen grin.

"But Angela!" Jordan whined.

"Why is it you had no problem reading the article about regular mistakes guys make in bed, but you've got a problem with this one?" she laughed. Jordan pouted as he replied sorely.

"That at least was mildly educational, this one the other hand is just plain gross. Talk about TMI" he said unenthusiastically, traumatized by the graphic diagrams that accompanied the story. Angela gave him her best puppy dog eyes, which made it almost impossible for him not to smile, his resolve slowly slipping.

"Pleeeeeaaassseee Jordan." she said sweetly, knowing she had him wrapped around her little finger at this moment. Jordan sighed in annoyance.

"Fine….but you totally owe me one." he said huffily, rolling his eyes. Angela grinned gleefully and adjusted herself into a more comfortable position as he cleared his throat.

"Ms Rutina Ryan an E.R nurse from Portland Oregon had a relatively normal experience with sexual encounters in her life, until she started dating her new boyfriend Eddie last Summer. Eddie, a local plumber, had a penchant for role-playing games, particularly involving Wild West fantasies" Jordan read impassively, he stopped for a second.

"This is seriously beginning to sound like a porno Tino made me watch as a kid." he said with a snort of laughter. Angela narrowed her eyes and sighed impatiently.

"I don't want to hear about what you used to wack-off to. Stop stalling and keep reading Catalano. ". Jordan gave her a playful wink and took a breath to continue.

Before he could start again, there was a knock on the open door. Both he and Angela turned to see a familiar young woman standing in the doorway looking visibly self-conscious.

Angela's face began to pale as she recognized the person standing in front of her.

"Danielle?" she said breathlessly in shock.

Jordan's eyebrow shot up almost to his hairline in surprise as he took in the woman before him. The last time he'd seen Danielle Chase, she'd been an awkward and precocious thirteen year old, the person he saw now was the epitome of maturity and sophistication. She was almost the physical opposite of Angela, her eyes a dark brown and her hair almost black. If Jordan hadn't known they were sisters he never would have guessed they were related. This included totally dissimilar personalities also. From what he knew of Angela's family's history, Danielle's appearance in the hospital was a momentous occasion.

"Hey Angela" Danielle said nervously, a weak smile on her face. Jordan took in Angela's drained face and knew this was something she'd never been expecting. She turned to him for a second.

"Jordan could you….." she trailed off quietly. He nodded and smiled supportive.

"I'll just go see what Patty's up to" Jordan said graciously. He got up from his chair and walked to the door.

"Nice to see you again Danielle" he said simply.

"You too Jordan" she returned with a pleasant smile, watching him leave.

As soon as he was fully gone, Danielle returned her attention back to Angela.

"Does that guy ever age? Seriously he's just getting better looking every year. Hot damn you're so damn lucky" she said with smile. Her light mood deflated as she saw Angela staring at her, an unreadable expression on her face.

Angela Chase could count on one hand the number of times she'd seen her sister in the last ten years. She and Danielle hadn't physically been in each others company since Graham's funeral, nearly two years ago. Their relationship most of the time was strained at best, even with the heart to heart they'd had on the phone a few weeks before. It was heartbreaking for Angela to admit, but her sister was a total stranger to her. Their separation was based upon a deep rooted bitterness over their parents divorce. They'd both taken sides in the split, resulting in a painful resentment toward each other for abandoning a parent in a time of need. The chasm of animosity between them expanded following the scandal over Angela's pregnancy and Graham's ultimatum. Though Danielle had never privately agreed with Graham's treatment of Angela, the damage done had seemed irreparable.

Angela only knew a small amount about Danielle's life as a free lance photographer. As she saw her sister standing in front of her, she looked every bit the fashionable contributor to Harper's Bazaar and Vogue she'd heard Danielle had become. Wearing exquisite clothes, no doubt from her current clients in Paris, Angela was amazed by how her little sister had grown up and become a woman without her knowing. It saddened her to realize the time they'd lost through silly grudges. Other than Danielle's professional life, Angela only knew small amounts of information she'd gotten from Patty about her bohemian existence . At the same time, Danielle had never met her nephew and had never knew Angela was behind the 'Driving Red' series. Now at opposite sides of a hospital room, both of the Chase sister's regretted the years lost.

"I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to come see you, I only found out a few days ago what happened." Danielle stared at her shoes, feeling too ashamed to look at her sister.

"You see I was in South Africa for work and Sartan, ….my boyfriend.." her cheeks blushed a little as she paused "…he suggested we stay for a couple of weeks and go on safari. I didn't bother using my cell phone much because most of the time it was out of service." Angela remained looking at her sister in slowly diminishing shock, Danielle finally raised her eyes. Angela could see the deep feeling of remorse reflected in the chocolate pools of Danielle eyes . Her sister sighed as she continued.

"We were planning to do some charity work for another week in this orphanage after we came back from safari, when I saw pictures in an old National Enquirer someone had left in the hotel lobby .They were of you. I swear my heart stopped when I saw the article fully." Danielle dropped her gaze again and seemed to stop herself from getting too emotional.

"When I turned on my cell phone I saw Mom had called me, like, forty times and immediately knew it was real. I swear I jumped on the next plane here when we reached Johannesburg. I'm so sorry it took me this long ,I should have been here for you and Mom….and Jason" she added quietly.

Danielle stared at the ground as she waited for her sister to respond, convinced she hated her. As ridiculous as her excuse had been, it was the truth. Since she's discover how close to death her sister had come, Danielle had been slowly hating herself more and more.

"It's okay, all that matters is you're here now." Angela said kindly. Danielle felt increasingly lighthearted when she gazed back at her elder sister and saw her smilingly faintly.

"Better late then never Danielle" she joked and Danielle smiled back. The gloomy darkness that had overtaken her life, now disappearing as an amiable atmosphere between the estranged siblings.

"So what's new with you? Because you obviously know my life's been rather run of the mill lately, so I'd like to hear about yours." Angela said nonchalantly, her smile growing now into an easy and friendly grin. Danielle smirked and relied coyly "Well….".

* * *

It did not take Jordan long to find the illustrious Patty Chase as he wandered aimlessly down the quiet hospital corridors. She stood closely talking to Dr. Rogers, the main surgeon on Angela case. All Jordan knew about the guy was he'd supposedly made the plans for Angela's future orthopedic procedures, but he hadn't actually touched his patient since the initial operation to save her leg. It was true everything had been delayed because of her coma, but Angela had been awake for over a week and nothing further had been done. But who was Jordan to argue with the professional's way of doing things, even if it did appear to be a tad lackadaisical in his opinion. Jordan shuffled over to them with his hands in pockets, completely at ease at that moment. Patty flashed him brief, but pleased smile as he approached.

"Hey. What's new?" Jordan said cheerfully.

"Dr Rogers and I were discussing the recovery plan for Angela now she's viable again for treatment., it seems there's going to be a change of arrangements. Now she's well enough ,they want to transfer her to Mount Sinai in the city tomorrow" Patty said happily. Jordan's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Oh, how come?" he said with interest.

"Through a contact of mine in Manhattan I learned that a Dr Borys Dudek has recently gotten a nine months contract in Mount Sinai. Dudek is an innovative surgeon in the field of Orthopedics. He's the best in the world at what he does." Dr Rogers replied eagerly.

"So how is he better than anyone else?" Jordan said sceptically.

"Initially we thought it would take at least three invasive procedures to fix the damage done in the crash. Dudek can do it in one. He's just that good." the doctor said boastfully.

Jordan gave Patty an astounded look.

"Wow really?" he said dumbfounded. Patty nodded enthusiastically.

"The recovery time with the new procedure he would perform is also much shorter. If everything went smoothly she would be on her feet by Halloween and walking normally again by Thanksgiving." Dr Rogers added excitedly, a smile forming on his face.

"Have you told Angela yet? I'm sure she'll be ecstatic, especially if she can get back to the city so soon." Jordan grinned giddily, relishing the prospect of finally being able to leave Long Island for the city.

"No…..the thing is we have to make a definite strategy for after she comes out of hospital, the problem is she'll need regular physical therapy everyday but Angela's place is too small to put any of that equipment anywhere that won't be in the way." Patty sighed. Jordan looked at her puzzled.

"Why is that a problem? Can't she just go to a therapy centre or something?" he said uncertainly.

"She could….but the number of sessions she's going to need will be exhausting. It seems almost unnecessary to add travel stress to that." Patty said regretfully.

"So what do you want to do?" Jordan said simply, glancing between Patty and the doctor "Because I don't think staying in the hospital an extra few months is going to sit well with her either" . Patty exhaled loudly.

"I don't know Jordan. It's kind of a catch-22." she said despondently. No one talked for a moment. Jordan could feel his happy mood starting to slip, his brow furrowed as he searched for a solution. Suddenly an idea struck, one which made him feel ridiculously stupid for not thinking of it before. He laughed a little, it was so obvious. Patty eyed him strangely as he chuckled softly.

"I have a suggestion to solve the problem if you want to hear?" he said smugly and smirk forming across his face.

* * *

"You never explained how you got past the security on this floor." Angela said with a smile. Her sister gave her a sly grin.

"While admittedly those guys weren't the easiest to get past, it was nothing that the old Chase charm couldn't overcome. Why do they even have them?" Danielle said with curiosity.

"It was to stop any press from getting up here, there was a little bit of a media storm when it first happened. Especially because of Jordan's constant presence in the facility." Angela said sourly. "Photographers tried to get up here a couple of days ago, so we had to tighten security again". Danielle shook her head in disbelief.

"Fucking vultures! I can see though that the rock star baby daddy of a beloved writer ,rushing to his former lovers side ,is a bit of a paparazzi goldmine" . Angela gave her a wry grin.

"It sounds a little salacious when you put it like that."

"So…. like all good romance stories, the next part will be the long over due reconnection. Which is surely to be electric." Danielle said teasingly. Angela narrowed her eyes and gave her a withering look. "You're hilarious".

"It's inevitable" Danielle replied with a grin. "Shut up" Angela laughed in embarrassment, as her cheeks flushed colorfully.

"Let's talk about something else, please" she whined.

"How about where that handsome son of yours is? I haven't seen a picture of him in years." Angela beamed proudly, inwardly relieved Danielle had changed the subject.

"He's gone home to start packing." Patty said merrily from the doorway, looking between her reconciled daughters with obvious elation. It was the first time she'd seen them laugh and joke together since they were kids and it was a sight which melted her heart. Danielle gave her mother an affectionate smile of welcome. "Hey Danielle" Patty added sweetly.

"Are they all leaving for the city already? Jason's schools not open for another week." Angela exclaimed in annoyance, a little peeved her son was leaving her so soon.

"No we all are." Angela frowned, while Patty laughed a little at her puzzled expression.

"What about me? I'm going to be all alone after my surgeries?" Angela quietly whimpered, getting upset by her assumed situation.

"You're coming too silly." her mother laughed. "But?" Angela began.

"They're moving you to Mount Sinai for your next stage of treatments tomorrow evening. They've got a surgeon there who's apparently a genius with bones and everything. Seemingly as Dr Rogers tells us, this new guy can have you fixed up a couple of months faster then we'd hoped." Patty watched with glee as Angela's mournful look changed into an ecstatic and beaming smile.

"Oh my god that's the best news I've heard in days" she sighed breathlessly. Danielle reached over and placed her hand over Angela's, squeezing it gently.

"I'm so happy for you sweetie" she said sincerely.

"Now there is something else I need to run by you before tomorrow, you know ,about your rehabilitation and post-surgery care et cetra." Patty said a little more unsure.

"Jordan and I were discussing it earlier, and we agreed that you should move into his apartment temporarily. He has the space to accommodate the machines needed for your daily physical therapy and a small internal elevator. I'll be moving there too in case you thought I was abandoning you".

Angela's expression grew dark and Patty watched as her features become contorted in slowly building anger.

"And let me guess, this was his idea?" she said bitterly, when Patty did not answer Angela knew she had her answer.

"Well you can tell him thank you very much, but no thank you." Patty's brow furrowed deeply as she listened to her daughters defiance.

"But, it makes perfect sense Angela! You don't have the room in your apartment. Please think sensibly." Patty said firmly. Angela's eyes flashed in anger.

"I will not let my life be dictated by the two of you, I'm a grown woman for crying out loud" she hissed, her face growing crimson in frustration.

"Angela…." Patty began again, before being interrupted by her daughter.

"Stop Mom. It's not happening. Tell Jordan come talk to me if he has a problem with my response" she added gruffly. Patty glanced at Angela despondently, not understanding her daughters lack of cooperation, it wasn't like her to be so unreasonable.

"Fine. I will" Patty replied in a tight voice, turning on her heel she stalked out of the room. Danielle watched her leave with wide eyes, totally taken aback by the usually mild mannered Angela's stubbornness.

"When did you get so bad ass ?" she gasped in incredulity. Angela exhaled loudly before speaking, her temper now diminishing.

"Sometimes you just have to put your foot down," she said jadedly.

* * *

It did not take long after Patty's departure for Jordan to arrive back at the hospital . Danielle had left to go to her hotel only moments earlier due to jet lag, when Jordan strode purposefully into her room.

"You mind telling me why your mother just told me you said no to our plan?" Jordan said indignantly, his cerulean eyes burning into hers.

"Because I did." she shot back.

"Why?" he said disbelievingly, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I don't have to explain my actions to you, It's my damn decision Jordan" she said in a low voice. Jordan's eyes narrowed at her. He took a deep breath to relieve the frustration at her that was rapidly enveloping him.

"Yes you do, especially when it make absolutely no fucking sense what so ever, for you to say no." Jordan said more evenly. Angela seeing his effort to calm the situation ,decided to follow his lead. They could at least attempt to discuss this civilly. Truth be told she couldn't quite explain her objection to the plan fully even to herself.

"How about you explain why it is so much simpler for me to go to your place?" she said huffily, but evidently more calmly.

"Because for one you won't have to travel to get treatment. I already have a small gym in the bottom floor they can put the equipment in" Jordan said blankly, Angela stared at him totally unconvinced. "Is that it? Better storage and no travel time?" she retorted.

"No…it's not the only reason. What if, hypothetically, you have an accident, say getting out of the tub or something? Who'll be able to help you up or carry you? Patty doesn't have the strength and Jason's collar bone won't be healed for another six weeks. But I'll always be home during the day" Jordan snapped back. Angela arched an eyebrow at him.

"You know you can hire people for that Jordan. It's called home help and they'd be better suited if a so called 'accident' should arise then your cack-handed attempts would be." she said derisively. Jordan felt his irritation flare up again, but he remained cool headed.

"And where would they stay? Share with Patty?" he said with a slight smile. Angela frowned a little, but did not answer straight away. He did have a point, what exactly was her contingency plan here?

"OK, so maybe home help may not be viable. But if this 'hypothetical' accident were to happen, say if I was washing, what makes you think I'd let you anywhere near me?" she said icily. Jordan smirked arrogantly "It's not as if I haven't seen it all before". Angela scowled at him, her jaw tightening, and he knew instantly he said exactly the wrong thing, as usual.

Jordan stuttered a little as he tried to back peddle . "What I mean is…..if such an…awkward situation comes up…..Wouldn't it be better if it was someone you know and not a complete stranger." Angela's frown softened a little. Grudgingly he was right, but she still felt uneasy about it all.

"I'm not going Jordan" she said resolutely, turning away from him to glare out the window.

"Why Angela? I don't understand what's wrong. Please tell me so I can fix it" Jordan begged in his confusion. Angela breathed in deeply and looked at him sadly.

"I'm not sure I can trust you. After everything that's happened before…..I just don't know". As soon as she said it, she regretted it. Jordan's face crumpled in hurt and his eye's became distant.

"Oh, I see" he said quietly. Angela, despite her reticence towards him felt an unbearably need to take it back, but she couldn't. It was the honest truth.

"The last week has been great and you've been so sweet to me, but I'm not sure if it's enough" she said unhappily, trying to catch his eye as he avoided her gaze..

"Even after you said all those beautiful and heartfelt things to me, the ones I've always hoped to hear, I'm not sure if it's enough anymore." Angela sighed harshly, languishing in her own misery. Jordan's face though began to darken, as an anger rose within him.

"You remembered" he said in a low enraged whisper. Angela's eyes snapped up to his, looking at him like a deer caught in headlights. She cursed herself, he was never supposed to know until she was ready to tell him.

"You remembered, and what? Decided to pretend all this time you didn't. Did it mean anything to you?" Jordan's tone rising in roughness as he spoke, his fury growing. Angela looked at him anxiously .

"Of course it did" she said crossly , offended that he should think her so flippant towards him.

"Then why is it not enough for you?" Jordan said . The remains of Angela's aggression and defiance deflated a little as she stared at him sorrowfully, her heart throbbing in her chest . She felt a pressure pressing upon her as she fought to control her composure.

"Because the last time I let my guard down, you broke my heart." her voice shook a little as she replied. Jordan's face fell and his glare softened into a self loathing grimace.

"You know how sorry I am for what happened in Pennsylvania. If I could change what I did you know I would….but I can't". Jordan looked at her searchingly in hope to see understanding in her face.

"As for what I said that night, I meant every damn word and you know it" he said heatedly, trying to persuade her to see the sincerity of the act. Angela didn't know how to answer him, but continued staring at him impassively. Jordan felt his stomach drop, his strength totally decimated my her indifference.

"I bared my soul for you, how can you belittle it so callously?" Jordan growled harshly, hurt dripping from his voice. Despite the fact that it upset her to be so cruel towards him, his speech did nothing but annoy her.

"Belittle it? I was unconscious and on my death bed Jordan , of course you said all that stuff." she replied snarlingly. Jordan's eyes flashed angrily at her, but he was too stunned to respond.

"Let's be honest here, if you really meant it ,why can't you say it again?" she said coolly, but deadly serious. Jordan scoffed loudly in disbelief.

"You can't honestly be that hypocritical Angela. How can you expect me to say those three little words when, as I recall you only said it to me once? When you also happened to be ridiculously drunk at the time too."

Angela's face flamed red as she immediately knew he was talking about her drunken phone call to him. She turned her face away from him, partly in embarrassment and in exasperation. Angela glared at the darkening sky outside, refusing to look at Jordan. Why was it they had to do things the hard way? Maybe they were both two stubborn for their own good. Jordan was at a loss of word by her actions, the rejection he felt overcame his senses, making him feel sick to stomach. Being ignored after all the walls he'd allowed to fall down to let her in, pained him more than he thought possible.

"Fine if that's how you want it Angela, so be it" he said bitterly " Screw you."

With another word he gave her a final dirty look before storming out of the room. Angela gulped back a lump in her throat, tears threatening to break through, as she heard the door slam loudly. The deathly silence that followed made her feel more alone in that moment than she had in a long time.

* * *

The next day Rayanne was back in the hospital packing up Angela's belonging's in preparation for the transfer. Her friend's mood wasn't particularly sunny, leading Rayanne to suspect whatever was troubling her best friend most likely was the same thing that irked the turbulent Jordan Catalano. But Angela had steadfastly avoided talking about the man all morning, obviously not feeling open to sharing the in's and out's of their disagreement. She knew it was to do with some plan Jordan had suggested ,that Angela had resolutely shot down. Beyond that Rayanne was clueless. Having steered clear of the elephant in the room, Rayanne's nosiness got the better of her judgement.

"So Jordan came home in a bit of a huff last night, you guys have a fight or something?" Rayanne said nonchalantly. Angela's posture stiffened in her bed while she folded her fresh pajamas into piles for Rayanne to put in her bag.

"You could say that" she said sullenly, continuing on with her task distractedly.

"You mind me asking about what?" Rayanne said more pointedly, stopping her job to look at Angela.

"Just some stupid idea he had. Jordan decided that it would be best if I stay in his place after the operation till I'm better. According to him and my mom it makes perfect sense" Angela said sarcastically. Rayanne arched a surprised eyebrow at her "And you said no!" she exclaimed. Angela's head snapped up as she recognized the incredulity in her friend's tone.

"Why does this surprise you?" she said, completely baffled by Rayanne's reaction.

"Well how about the fact you're totally infatuated by him." she said in amazement "Or the fact that you know he loves you too, after that speech you've been conveniently overlooking for a week." Rayanne could not help but notice Angela becoming increasingly uncomfortable as she spoke, yet she continued, determined to get her point across.

"There is also to consider, that judging by all accounts, you and him had some insanely hot and wild hate sex a few weeks ago. An event I'm sure you'd willing repeat in a heartbeat" she said with a smirk.

"Please don't refer to it as hate sex, it sounds seedy" Angela groaned loudly.

"I'm just trying to understand what the hell is holding you back,It's not as if he asked you to marry him" Rayanne replied.

"That little five letter word" Angela said impassively.

"Panic?" Rayanne said pointedly.

"No! Trust Rayanne. I don't know if I can trust him, not after Three River" she said sadly. Rayanne glanced at her thoughtfully.

"Bullshit" she said firmly "That's not the problem at all" Angela glared at Rayanne, but stayed silent.

"You don't trust yourself, always just too frikkin' scared to take a chance to see if you guys can actually work out" Rayanne added solemnly. Angela stared at her hands, Rayanne had hit the nail on the head. Terrified was exactly how she felt.

"Regardless….it's a terrible idea. And I don't want to talk about this right now." Angela said quietly, returning to her occupation. Rayanne rolled her eyes but did as she was asked.

"By the way…..for someone who has been in an adult relationship all of ,like, ten minutes ,your astuteness scares me" Angela said with a slight smile. Rayanne gave her a cocky smirk. "I try"

* * *

When Angela Chase finally saw the New York skyline, the shining lights of skyscrapers against the dark night sky, she felt herself let go a breathe she hadn't realized she'd been holding . There was something about the familiarity of it that comforted her weary soul, the tightly packed streets and impossibly high structures so distinctly New York. She was home. The hospital had given her the choice to travel by ambulance or helicopter to her new treatment centre, still feeling unsure of cars and other road vehicles, she had chosen air. A decision she was so thankful for as she watched the approaching city . Angela smiled peacefully as she looked up at Patty in the seat next to her gurney. Her mother returned the gesture with even more zeal than her daughter. For Patty, the return to their home city solidified in her mind that her daughter's horrific ordeal was almost over. This was the final hurdle to clear before they could all regain their normal lives. Angela had survived and Patty could breath freely again.

"Nearly done sweetie, last stop till home" she said optimistically as she reached over and caught Angela's hand. The building's below zoomed past as they journeyed further and further uptown.

Jordan had stayed pretty much to himself since he'd gotten back to Manhattan. He'd received an almost irate call from the record company asking the band to hurry up with their song writing. Business was business, and they did not care one whit for what he'd been through for the best part of a month. All they wanted was a record they could release before Thanksgiving. Jordan just ignored the exec and jadedly promised to start work again straightaway. Other than halfheartedly writing a verse or two, Jordan mostly spent two days bemoaning his troubles to Shane. For once his best buddy did not ridicule him, but inwardly promised to do something to help his friend.

Three days after he'd returned , Jordan got a call from Jason to tell him Angela's procedure had gone well. He'd gone straight uptown to see her, watching her sleep deeply on the bed. He was overjoyed to see she was getting closer to being herself again. He did not stay long though, when she'd began to wake up he'd left. Not wanting to talk yet, it was his only option. For Jordan it was too soon for him to pretend nothing had happened, he was still so upset by her rejection of him. He'd laid his heart on the line and she'd stamped all over it so brutally. That night he hugged his son goodbye and went home to nurse his broken heart with a bottle of Jack. Drowning his sorrows in the familiar numbness, it made his life bearable for a short while.

The morning after her surgery ,Angela awoke to find the one person she'd never expected to see waltzing into her room. Shane Lewis smirked slightly as her light eyebrows shot up nearly to her hairline in surprise.

"Shane! What are you doing here?" she gasped, sitting up straighter on her bed.

"I was in the area and decided to see how you were" Shane said casually as his brown eyes looked at her mischievously.

Angela eyed him strangely.

"You live on Central Park West and never go further uptown than Jordan's place. What could you possibly be doing on 98th st?" she said sceptically. Shane ventured a little further into the room and gave her a friendly grin.

"Fine you caught me. I came to see you" he said politely. Angela's expression grew wary as she observed him with interest.

"I assume this has something do with Jordan" she said stiffly.

"Naturally" Shane replied breezily.

"Well if you're here to tell me to stay away from him, don't waste your breath because you don't have to worry. We're done." Angela said grimly.

Shane looked at her thoughtfully, as he sighed his mood became less jovial.

"Actually…..I'm here to ask you to do exactly the opposite." he said seriously.

Angela's eyes grew wide as she heard this.

"Why would you want that…..you hate me!" she sputtered in response. Pulling a chair close to her bed he sat down, smiling in amusement.

"Much as it surprises you to hear….I don't. Never have." Shane said honestly.

Angela's face physically pained her because of the speed by which her jaw fell open.

"Look maybe it's time we buried the hatchet once and for all." Shane said expectantly. Angela finally snapped out of her reverie with a small shudder.

"If you didn't hate me, why treat me so badly for all these years?" she replied a little sorely. Shane's face grew a little pink as he searched for words to explain his often despicable behavior.

"When we were kids …..I had a major crush on you." Angela choked on her breath, completely and utterly flabbergasted. Never in a million years could she have anticipated that .

"But Jordan got there first so…..it was easier to drive you crazy and be spiteful than admit the truth. ." Angela could see Shane was being serious, his display was not an attempt to deceive her.

"Even long after the feelings faded and it wasn't about wounded pride anymore, I kept it up. I had been so vehemently against you and Jordan, that I thought it would look suspicious if I was suddenly indifferent about it. It was childish I know" Shane said quietly.

"You made fun of me, called me 'that weird girl', tried to sabotage my relationship with Jordan, told him about Jason. And for what?" Angela paused to take a breath her annoyance slipping further into anger, tightening her chest.

"All because you liked me and I fell for your best friend! At least if you'd actually disliked me I'd have understood you're actions, but now, I can't believe you did this." Angela said furiously.

"Please know, I am truly sorry for how I acted. Jealousy makes people do awful things. In reality…..I think you're great for Jordan" Shane said solemnly. Angela shook her head in astonishment.

"This is insane" she mumbled.

"I'm begging you not to say a word to him about it. I don't think Jordan would forgive me if he knew the truth." Angela glared at him, but felt her hatred lessen as she saw genuine fear and regret in his eyes.

"Fine, you have my word. But it doesn't mean I forgive you" she said sulkily.

"That's all I can ask for" Shane said in clear relief, thanking her silently.

"So now we're past all the cute and fuzzy moments, why don't you just get to why you're really here" Angela exhaled harshly. Shane cleared his throat before speaking, carefully arranging his thought into a coherent argument. He knew he had only one shot at this.

"Look….I understand why you would be reluctant to rely on Jordan again after what happened, honestly he totally fucked up. But deep down you know his head was completely messed up that week, what with his dad's funeral and everything else."

Angela had to concede that Shane had a point, what little she knew about Jordan's relationship with Mikey informed her that during that time Jordan was probably incapable of thinking straight. Everything after Mikey Catalano's death had seemed like a whirlwind, and Jordan had been forced to confront both his difficult past with his father and his complicated relationship with her, in a very short space of time. A fact which hadn't occurred to her till now, the realization of it made her feel a little guilty for her harsh judgment of him.

"OK so maybe I was a little hard on him, but it's not the first time he's been incapable of expressing basic human emotions like a normal person." she said confoundedly.

"You've never see the things he has, lived the life he had to for so long as a kid. It's because of Mikey and all he did, that Jordan sometimes doesn't act like someone normal does, or says the things that normal people in the situation would say. He never had anyone to show him. Maybe he'll always never get it quite right?" Shane said softly, knowing by the look on her face he was reaching her.

"But…one thing I know for certain above anything else is he adores you. He'd lay down his life a hundred times over and die for you ,if you asked." Shane said persuasively. Angela could feel a strange sensation bubbling in her gut and she knew as she met Shane's eyes what it was. Remorse.

"But all we ever do is break each others hearts. We can't make each other happy" Angela said mournfully.

"I've known Jordan practically his whole life. I saw for sixteen years how he tried everyday to forget you, but never could. Since you came back into his life, it's like he's been reinvigorated. He's a better songwriter, a better performer, a better friend and most of all a happier person." Shane said with a kind smile. Still Angela glanced at him with uncertainty.

"I think that has more to do with Jason than me" Angela said bitterly.

"No, it's because of both of you. You're his family and without BOTH of you, Jordan's miserable." Shane said assuredly.

"You think this idea of his can erase all the stupid shit we've done to one another, that I should just blindly ignore the past and live in his house?" Angela said hollowly, unconvinced by his optimism.

"No, but you shouldn't give up on each other yet either. Whatever you decide about the proposal he gave you is not my concern, I'm just asking you to give him another chance. He deserves someone to have a little belief in him for once." Shane's last sentence seemed to strike her deep down in her soul, making her reconsider what she'd been holding against him for so long. Her rejection of him was just as hurtful as his stoical indecision had been to her. Looking at Shane with clearer eyes she thought deeply about it all.

"Maybe you're right" she said broodingly. Shane smiled to himself, knowing he had accomplished what he had meant to do. She was definitely wavering. He got to his feet and stretched his back.

"I'm to go now, you look tired" he said simply, pulling the chair back to it's original position. Angela nodded halfheartedly as she looked off distractedly.

"I'm really glad you're okay by the way" Shane said honestly as he backed away slowly in the direction of the door. Angela snapped out of her daydream and gave him a grateful smirk.

"Thanks and just so you know…..I appreciated…this." she said meaningfully. Shane simply shrugged and went to open the door.

"This doesn't mean we're friends or anything" he said with a cheeky grin.

"Of course" Angela replied with a smirk "See you around Lewis".

"See you Chase" Shane said breezily, before exiting the door. The unmistakable feeling of accomplishment filled his chest as he practically skipped all the way to get cab.

* * *

In the days that followed Shane's visit, Angela found her thoughts frequently returning to their conversation. She didn't know exactly why it had effected her so much, in truth it had only confirmed things she already knew and suspected about Jordan. Yet, with this proof, her reason's for refusing his help seemed more and more frivolous. So when the day arrived for her release from hospital her hostility towards the idea of living with him had weakened substantially.

As the paramedics loaded her into the back of the ambulance to take her home, Patty slide in beside her. When they'd securely fastened Angela safely in the vehicle, one of the paramedics began to look at her release sheet. Her brow furrowed in concentration, visibly confused by something written on the paper.

"I'm terribly sorry to tell you this, but the hospital neglected to write the address we're bring you to on the transport paper. " she said apologetically. Patty gave her a slight smile.

"That's not your fault dear, the address is 807 Park Ave" she said kindly.

"Wait" Angela said suddenly "we're not going there." Patty arched an eyebrow at her, not knowing what had gotten in her daughter.

"I want to go to 955 5th Ave." she said simply. As Patty become conscious of where they were headed ,a knowing smile crossed her lips. Angela cheeks blushed heavily when her mother caught her eye.

"Oh shut up." she said grumpily, not liking her mother's arrogant look.

"I didn't say anything sweetie" Patty said with a chuckle ,turning her attention back to towards the front of the ambulance, a smile still stuck to her face.

Jordan was only just awake and making breakfast when the bell from his intercom rang loudly. Picking it up unenthusiastically, he sighed grouchily before speaking.

"Hello."

"Good evening Mr Catalano, Miss Chase is in the lobby and is wanting to talk to you" Daniel the doorman said politely. Jordan froze when he heard her name. He knew she'd been released from Sinai today, so what was she doing here?

"Eh….just put her on Daniel." Jordan said with apprehension. He heard the rustle of the receiver being passed to her.

"I would have called but I wasn't sure you'd answer" Angela said nervously down the line. Jordan stayed silent, riveted to the spot in anticipation.

"Is the offer you made me still open Jordan ?" she said hopefully. Jordan didn't answer straightaway, totally taken aback by this turn of events.

"Jordan?" Angela said again uncertainly.

"Yes." he said slowly. Angela breathed out in relief, wordlessly thanking god .

"Good" she said with a smile "I'll see you in five then"

Jordan was already waiting by the elevator when they arrived at the top floor.

Angela gave him a warm smile as she pushed herself in her wheelchair out of the confined space. Jordan's heart filled to capacity when he saw her, knowing she finally she had faith in him.

"So you changed your mind" he said almost disbelievingly.

" Yeah, one of us has to be accommodating sometimes" she replied sardonically.

Without any care for the fact that Patty stood directly behind her, Jordan leaned down and kissed Angela's cheek sweetly. Looking deeply in her eyes he spoke softly and earnestly "For the record, I'm glad you did." Angela gazed at him dizzily as he straightened up and gave Patty a roguish wink.

" So…myself and Jason were in the middle of making pancakes if you want one? " he said happily to them both. Angela gave him a cheeky grin

"Only if you have real maple syrup Catalano".

Jordan nodded with gusto, grinning like an idiot.

"Only the best of course" he said proudly. Grabbing a bag from Patty's load filled arms, he turned back towards the door.

"C'mon let's get you both settled in" Jordan said contentedly, unable to stop himself from beaming in delight. Patty watched him with interest and found for once a warm feeling filled her gut. There was something so right about the sight she saw in front of her, Jordan and Angela oblivious to anyone else but each other, as they entered the apartment. There was nothing left to keep them apart but themselves, they had survived everything else life had thrown at them and still unwaveringly felt as strongly about each other as they always had. To Patty ,this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship that was certain to grow into something much more substantial. This was only the start.

**So that's it for this installment. Hope you liked it and will let me know if you do. For anyone longing for some J/A action….the next 2 chapters coming are likely to satisfy your needs ;-) **

**-p.s the addresses quoted don't represent the actually building's I envision for where they live, I just made up the numbers :-)**

**-p.p.s I'm updating this story at 4 a.m so if there are mistakes...so sorry .**


	17. The Break in the Storm

**Hello my friends, I hope all are well. First I want to thank all those who reviewed my last chapter ( Luvjordan, Creceant, danigirl,Margew76,Marion Davis and Gagirl29) it made me so happy! Anyway, this chapter has been one I've been dying to write for ages. For all those fed up with me playing with your emotions, here's a little reward! J This chapter is heavily J/A so I hope everyone is happy. Please review if you liked it as per usual.**

**Hope to update soon.**

**Bye for now**

**-RedCatCatalano**

* * *

The month of September seemed to pass in flash as the Fall began to hold of the city. The leaves on the tree's changed from green to russet and crimson, filling the park and avenues with bursts of colour amongst the monotonous concrete sidewalks. All around Manhattan, the lethargy and heat of Summer slowly faded into the cooler, crisp temperatures of the new season and the winds of change swept the streets, bring with them a feeling of renewal . To Angela Chase ,the early Fall was the part of year in which New York really came alive. The sweltering humidity of the high Summer now gone, the hustle and bustle of the activity returned and it truly became the big Apple again. The changing foliage brought new vivacity and beauty, making every street corner a picture perfect sight. Usually it was during this time of year Angela loved to wander the familiar paths in Central Park with her mother or Jason, but present circumstances prevented this, a fact that frustrated her greatly. Thankfully the apartments close proximity to the park and large open windows ,meant she could still see the visual splendour of the vivid canopy of red that the tree's made. It wasn't the same, but Angela was at least grudgingly thankful for the compromise. There were other small benefits to being in this position.

It had been a full month since she'd moved into Jordan's place and admittedly, it was proving to be a much more successful venture then she'd hoped for. Despite the oddness of it, the arrangement seemed to work quite effortlessly. A sense of peace and harmony had descended across all those that lived within the penthouse of 955 5th Avenue. This was partially to be attributed to the fact that neither of Angela or Jordan had spent huge amounts of time in the others company, life had kept them occupied. Therefore any residual awkwardness over their argument slowly disappeared, time ,it seemed, could heal all wounds. Even so, there had been no chances so far to test Angela's theory about this. She only saw him for an hour per day if she was lucky, and most of the time he was friendly but decidedly distracted. This was partially because she was confined to the ground and second floor of the apartment, which had a small service elevator between them that she could fit her wheelchair in. Angela was unable to venture to the upper floor until she no longer needed the chair.

Jordan's attention and energies were being poured into song writing, the label was now putting major pressure on the band to complete a full album to record by next month. Because of this Jordan spent most of his day cooped up in the recording studio with Shane and Robbie. It peeved Angela quite a lot, but she knew it was both necessary and vitally important. She understood Jordan had to do it, though she admittedly missed him terribly. But in truth she couldn't really complain, Angela's time was similarly filled by activity each day. Every morning she would have rigorous physical therapy for two hours, followed by occupational therapy for a further hour. At the end of all her therapies she was frequently sore and exhausted, often needing a nap to regain her energy. Apart from the regular routine her recovery had become, Angela also felt the need to work like Jordan, especially with the long stretches of time she now had to herself. Jason was back at school and more surprisingly her mother's interest was completely taken by Dr Rogers, a turn events which amused and pleased Angela thoroughly.

Patty Chase had begun a fledgling romance with the divorced doctor not long after they'd returned Manhattan and Angela was thrilled her mother had gotten back on the dating horse. It was reassuring to see that it was never too late to find love in life. Because of the space afforded to her by her families busy schedules, Angela's mind began to wander and her hands to itch to write once more. So, barely strong enough to endure even moving her leg, Angela had begun working on her novel again. Glad to be doing something productive once more.

For Jordan, Angela's presence in his apartment brought both unbelievable happiness and frustration all at the same time. The reason for his happiness was quite obvious to him, but the reason for his frustrations remained a little more elusive. True ,it bothered him

that due to his work commitments he saw too little of her, but his exasperations extended much beyond simple pining for her company. Every time he saw her, Jordan longed to touch her, his fingers twitching in anticipation and wanting. But she was still so fragile and damaged, it terrified him to even to take her hand in his. Jordan wanted so much to feel the smooth satin of her face under his finger tips, the fullness of her lips on his, the warmth of her breath mixed with his own ragged ones . More than anything he yearned to hear that little guttural purr she'd give him when their kisses grew to an unimaginable depths and nothing else mattered. Yet she was too precious for him to break, so he'd taken a step back, suppressed his raging hormones and waited patiently till she was better. He could see in her eyes she was a little confused by his distance, not realising the internal battle he was fighting every day with his libido. Instead he threw his tension and excess energy into the new album, finding sexual frustration great lyrical inspiration. With immense difficulty he managed to keep a hold of himself, even when fate threw temptation into his path.

Jordan's hell was often made worse by the fact that he was the only one capable of lifting Angela if she fell in the shower, which had unfortunately happened at least once a week. But somehow he'd gotten to be an expert at averting his gaze, hoisting Angela into her shower chair and thinking of dead cute baby animals to stop the inevitable problematic erection from occurring. It was one thing to get a hard on in front of your naked ex-girlfriend , but a totally other story when your ex-girlfriends mother is also in the bathroom to help her daughter wash. Yet by some miracle Jordan could accomplish this feat long enough to get to his own bathroom to 'vent' his agitation. It was taking it's toll on him, but in the end he knew his selflessness would be rewarded somehow.

Patty found the situation to be hilarious, it was hard her not to notice Jordan's blushing face when he was needed to assist with Angela. Though he was always the perfect gentleman at all times, dutifully averting or closing his eyes and refraining from making crude jokes, Patty could see he was far from unaffected by Angela. Her daughter on the other hand was completely oblivious to Jordan's discomfort, mistaking his reserve for stress. She knew the opportunity for them to finally overcome this wall they'd put in front of themselves was fast approaching, but she was enjoying watching them dance around each other. Edging closer to finding what they'd always known lay between them. The inevitable realisation of their need for one another.

By early October Angela's condition had improved so much that she no longer needed a wheelchair, often managing now to move around the apartment with only one crutch . This meant her range of exploration had expanded greatly. Yet she still avoided venturing onto the third floor, conscious that Jordan was still focused upon his job at hand. Instead she would make regular trips down to the piano in the lobby, relishing the opportunity to revive her lost skill. The apartments quiet atmosphere gave her the chance to play to her hearts content, her fingers dancing over the ivory keys for hours until her hands ached.

At the top of the stairs Jordan would sometimes stand, listening silently to the steady stream of music with a smile on his face ,knowing she was totally ignorant to his presence. And so life continued on ,with the feeling that soon the Autumn winds would blow all the mistakes of the past away, and new beginnings were just around the corner.

* * *

It was a stormy evening in mid-October when Angela awoke from her daily nap with an unexplainable feeling of anticipation in her gut. As she rose from her bed, she tried to shake it, unable to find the source of her excitement. Angela chose to ignore it as she went to her window to open her curtains. The sight that met her caused great surprise . The view of the city from the window was obscured by an almost complete sheet of torrential rain, the wind howling loudly as it whipped through the streets. What Angela could see of the area below her informed her that the sidewalks were virtually empty, much to be attributed to the fact that some of the sewers were overflowing onto the road. Angela groaned a little, knowing this violent storm meant possible black outs during the night. Sighing loudly she grabbed her crutch and walked towards her door and out into the hallway.

Walking towards the kitchen she peaked her head into Jason's room to see if he was there. She frowned in disappointment when she saw it was empty, the bed sheets neatly made and the room in almost total darkness. Further along she checked her mothers room, also finding it to be uninhabited. Hobbling leisurely into the kitchen she again found no one around, the story was the same when she looked in the TV room. Angela found it a little strange that neither Patty or Jason seemed to home, it was well past 7 o'clock on a weekday and usually at this time they would be found finishing up dinner or watching TV.

She listened at the stairs down to the lower floor but heard nothing. Slowly she made her way over to the other flight of stairs to the upper floor, hearing the faint noise of a guitar being strummed in one of the rooms. Gritting her teeth against the pain in her leg as it throbbed in protest, Angela went up the steps steadily. She was almost out of breath from the soreness in her shins when she eventually got to the top. Resting a second to get her breathing back to normal, she propelled herself forward with her crutch.

Angela stopped outside the room she knew Jordan used to store his numerous guitars. It had once been a small library but now acted as the location of an impressive collection of fenders, Gibson's and Takamines . She'd never actually been inside the room, but according to her mother and everyone else it was a spectacular sight.

Angela reached out and turned the handle slowly as she pushed the door open softly. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her, the walls of the library covered by shiny and beautiful instruments, each one lovingly polished and free of dust. On the furthest wall dozens of gold and platinum records hung, glowing proudly in the soft lamp light.

Angela's gaze fell on the figure in the middle of the room, his back to her, unaware of her close proximity. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she watched Jordan, from what little she could see of him, she noticed the unfamiliar look on his face. His brow furrowed and his eyes focused upon a small black tape recorded in the deepest concentration. The door creaked loudly and Jordan jumped a little as he finally realised she was behind him. Angela looked at him sheepishly when he turned to face her. Jordan's heart leaped in his chest as he saw her standing there, so beautiful even in her baggy sweatpants and old purple college tee-shirt.

"Sorry I was looking for Jason, I didn't mean to disturb you when you're working." she said apologetically. .

"You didn't, I was just messing around" Jordan said with a warm smile "How are you feeling today?". Angela moved in a little closer to him.

"I'm fine" she said shyly, conscious that they hadn't been alone in the same room for a while. "Just wondering where my mom and son are". Jordan motioned for her to sit down in one of the armchairs beside him, Angela took the invitation gladly.

"Jason's over in Joey's place for the night, he didn't want to try brave that storm and he's damn right to stay where he is. The transport systems down for the night." Jordan said a little unhappily.

"What was he doing in Joey's in the first place?" Angela said in minor annoyance.

"He had a band practise, only singing of course on account of his collarbone . Anyway he's stuck in Greenwich for the night along with some of his other buddies." Jordan said simply, strumming the black fender absentmindedly.

"And Mom?" Angela said with a small amount of concern.

"She left for Long Island just after you went to bed. Patty was safe and sound in Dr. Rogers house last time she called. I'm sure she's more than content to be waiting out the storm with her new paramour" Jordan said with a chuckle. Angela relaxed a little and her momentary worry slipped away.

"I presume Shane and Robbie are somewhere around this place also stranded for the night" Angela said with a wry smile. Jordan shook his head as a smirk grew on his lips.

"Ironically we decided to take a break today so thankfully both of them are holed up cosily in their own places." Angela cocked an eyebrow at him in interest.

"A break? I thought you were hell bent on finishing up by next week." Jordan sighed as he played odd chords on the instrument in his hands.

"We are ,and I was supposed to finish up recording the vocals for a song, but the rain was bouncing off the glass so hard it was impossible for me to even think . So I came down here and an idea hit me."

"Is that what I interrupted?" she said with an rueful smile.

"Not really, I was only starting to write to be honest" Jordan said reassuringly. Angela looked around the room, her eyes scanning the space near him with curiosity. Apart from his guitar, only the small, ancient tape recorder lay near him.

"What have you been writing with? You have no pens or paper" she said with a slight laugh. Jordan's cheeks grew a pink in self-conscious shame before he answered.

" I use the tape recorder when I'm writing songs. Despite all the work people have done to help me through the years, I actually can't spell real well. I can read just fine, but….can't write that good" he quietly "Shane always writes the words when I've settled on a final version". His head hung a little lower in embarrassment as he turned away from her for a second and Angela felt immediately guilty.

"Sorry that was dumb of me." She said apologetically "It's a really smart way to get around the problem though" she said encouragingly "Have you always done it like that?". As Jordan back to her, he saw in her eyes she did not think any less of him for his short comings. In some small way it made him feel better that she didn't judge him or pity him for his problems.

"Eh….yeah. I used this same old recorder when I wrote 'Red', it's like a good luck charm" he said more brightly. Angela beamed at him across the small distance, Jordan reciprocated the smile as he relaxed once more.

"If you want I could write out the words to this one, to like, save time or something. It's not as if I'm doing anything else" Angela said hopefully, wanting to make up for accidental slight on his ego. Jordan looked at her thoughtfully, hesitating slightly.

"It's not quite done" he said with trepidation.

"At least let me hear it then Catalano" she said more playfully. Jordan gave her a smirk before repositioning the guitar on his lap.

"If you insist" he said with a brief grin. Angela smiled once more, this time in delight, knowing he was letting her into a part of his life not many had seen. Jordan took a deep breath, he closed his eyes and began to play.

_"I don't remember the moment I tried to forget_  
_I lost myself, is it better not said_  
_I'm closer to the edge_

_It was a thousand to one and a million to two_  
_Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you_  
_Closer to the edge_

_No I'm not saying I'm sorry_  
_One day maybe we'll meet again_  
_No I'm not saying I'm sorry_  
_One day maybe we'll meet again_  
_No no no no"_

His voice became stronger as he sang with honesty and Angela was enraptured by him. When they'd been together all those years ago, he'd frequently sang to her and the effect on her was just as potent now as it had been then. Jordan smiled as he performed, watching her gaze at him in an obvious daze. He sang with added confidence knowing she was enjoying it.

_"Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free?_  
_The birth of a song, the death of a dream_  
_Closer to the edge_

_This never ending story_  
_Paid for with pride and fate_  
_We all fall short of glory_  
_Lost in our fate_

_No no no no_  
_I will never forget_  
_No no_  
_I will never regret_  
_No no_  
_I will live my life_

_Closer to the edge_  
_Closer to the edge_  
_No no no no_  
_Closer to the edge_  
_Closer to the edge_  
_No no no no_  
_Closer to the edge "_

Angela took a sharp intake of breath as the final chord rang out in the room.

"Wow Jordan it's great" she said excitedly, her eyes shining proudly at him.

"Thanks" he said humbly, shifting awkwardly in his seat.

"What's it about?" she said with eager curiosity. A small smile returned to Jordan's mouth.

"You. Us." he avoided her gaze as he continued " It's about how, like, we always seem to be coming close to the edge of something great ,but we never quite reach it." he paused looking at her again thoughtfully .

" We never regret the experience though and never have to apologise for trying to reach that place ,even when we might fail". Angela's face flushed with pleasure at his words, it had been the most profound thing she'd ever heard him say. Hell it was the most profound things she heard anyone say.

"No regrets. I think I can support that idea" she said more flippantly than she'd intended to sound. Jordan didn't answer but instead gave her a half smile.

"So….the song is about me. Are all of them? " she said teasingly.

"Most are." Jordan said earnestly. Angela's joking mood dissipated, surprised by his honesty as much as what he confessed.

"Oh" she said a little more awkwardly "Glad I could be of some use to you as a muse"

Silence fell between them, and both were at a loss as what to say next. There was an air of something pressing upon them, bursting to be allowed into the open. Jordan pluck the open strings while staring off to one of his other guitars, Angela played with a loose bit of paper on her crutch. Both knew that this was an opportune moment to discuss where exactly they stood with on another, what exactly their relationship was. Unfortunately they just couldn't find the courage to say what was needed to be said. Angela gave up trying to talk about it and decided to steer the conversation back to more easy topics.

"So….where can I get a pen and paper in this room? That song is perfect as it is." She said enthusiastically. Jordan grinned happily, glad she liked the song so much.

"Just in that desk against the back wall" he said, pointing off towards the record covered wall. As Angela began to struggle to her feet, Jordan stilled her with his hand.

"You stay there, I'll get it" he said with a sweet smile. Angela gave him an amused smirk.

"It's twenty feet away. I think I can make it Jordan". He just shrugged in return and watched her hobble over to the desk. She opened one of the drawers and found some sheets of paper. Opening a second she found some ballpoint pens, her attention was suddenly caught by something thing in the bottom of the drawer. Her heart swelled as she realised it was her letter. Angela stared it a second before closing the drawer, not saying a word. She didn't need to, she already knew why he still had it.

"Find what you were looking for?" Jordan said breezily, unaware of what he'd left in the drawer. Angela nodded with a beaming smile ,which confused him slightly.

"I think I did" she said a little dreamily. When she made it back over to him, there was something shining in her eyes he didn't quite recognise. Jordan pushed it out of his mind and tried to concentrate in the task at hand.

"Ok so it starts, _I don't remember one moment I tried to forget_…"

* * *

It was well past nine when they finally finished, Angela had helped transcribe two other songs in that time. She was glad to be of use to him, while Jordan took joy in her company and interest in his work. There was more to be done, but other matters took precedence. The gurgling of hungry tummies suddenly disturbed the diligent work. Both of them looked down in surprise.

"Was that my stomach or your stomach?" Angela said with a laugh. Jordan chuckled

"I'm not sure, but I am starving". He rose to his feet and placed his guitar in one of the racks on the wall. He stretched out his stiff back and turned back to her with a warm smile.

"C'mon lets go get some grub". Jordan reached out his hand to her, which Angela took readily. Jordan pulled her to her feet, placing his hands on her hips to steady her as she wobbled a little. Angela's cheeks flamed a bright crimson at his close proximity, Jordan instantly noticed the effect he'd had on her and smirked arrogantly. It would be so easy for him to close the distance and kiss her, putting them both out of their misery. Angela stared up at him with wide innocent eyes, still holding onto his hand tightly. Jordan's eyes flicked down at her lips, so tempted to violate them completely. The loud rumbling of his stomach broke the spell and they both laughed.

"Damn that was loud!" Jordan snorted loudly. Jordan sighed and moved a little away from her. Angela was disappointed when he let go of her and bent down to pick up her crutch. But much to her delight, he took right her hand back in his as he gave her crutch to the other. Without another word they left the library, both smiling contentedly.

A little while later after they'd eaten a leftover lasagne Patty had left, a slight awkwardness came between them again as they became painfully aware that they were totally alone. The noise of the hard rain hitting the glass the windows was the only sound that broke up the silence in the apartment. Jordan watched Angela as she played with the remains of the meal on her plate. This was the most amount of time they'd spent together since the hospital and he wasn't ready for it to end yet. He cleared his throat a little uneasily to catch her attention. Angela snapped out her reverie and looked him with interest.

"If you're not too tired or anything, do you want to watch a movie or something?" he asked self-consciously.

"Yeah I'd like that" she said with a smile. Jordan went to put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher before coming back to help Angela up. But as she went to take a step out towards the TV room her leg gave way, sending a shooting pain all the way up to her thighs. Luckily Jordan caught her before she fell fully ,holding at her elbow and hip.

"Fuck" she hissed through gritted teeth, leaning on him for support. Jordan looked at her in concern "You ok?". Angela tried to step again but another wave of immense pain hit at full force.

"No….it hurts too much to walk. I think it's seized up" she said unhappily as she went to sit down again.

"I need you to get my chair " she said more evenly as the pain subsided. Jordan shook his head "Nah I'll carry you ". Angela's eyes widened in surprise.

"What?" she said quickly, totally flabbergasted. Jordan smirked a little as he repeated his offer. "I'll carry you to the couch. You practically weigh nothing anyway." Without waiting for her to protest, he bent down and caught her under her legs and arm.

"Jordan what are you doing!" she said stunned by his boldness. Angela looked at him in astonishment as he waited for her to secure herself to him.

"You ready." he said softly. Angela shook her head a little to clear her mind, obviously there was no stopping him so she might as well enjoy the experience. Slipping her arm around his shoulders to fastened herself close to his chest, she nodded with a smile.

Jordan gave a small grunt of effort as he stood up in relative ease. Angela was shocked by his power as he carried her with no visible signs of strain or discomfort. Obviously he was a lot stronger than his lean frame had lead her to believe. She was embarrassed to admit she thoroughly enjoying being so close to him as he held her so gently, as if she was precious cargo. The journey was relatively short, much to Angela's chagrin. Judging by the look on Jordan's face, she guessed he was feeling as reluctant to set her down on the cushions as she was to be out of his arms.

"Thank you" Angela said shyly when he finally placed her carefully onto the seat.

"No problem Angie" Jordan replied with a small smile. Standing up straight again he wandered over towards the movie collection, scanning them with his fingers.

"Anything you want to watch in particular?" he said distractedly.

"As long as it's not a gross out comedy I don't mind" Angela responded cheerfully.

"Even if it's a horror" Jordan said with slight grin, pulling a movie off the shelf.

"Are you implying I'm a wimp Catalano?" Angela asked in playful indignation.

Turning back to her he gave her a grin, almost daring her to watch it.

"Not at all Chase, if you say you're brave enough I believe you." Angela shot him a withering look and motioned for him to put it on.

Halfway through the film Jordan noticed that Angela was nearly hiding behind a cushion ,her face ashen and terrified He laughed silently as he put down his bowl of popcorn.

"Are you ok?" he said with a mocking grin.

"I'm fine" she replied gruffly.

"We don't have to watch this if you're too scared." Jordan said more soothingly.

"No! I want to know what happens " Angela moaned, trying to sound less afraid then she actually was. She jumped and yelped as one of the killers appeared suddenly on screen, her hands flying to cover her face, a small whimper escaping her lips. Jordan let out a small snort of laughter. Just because she was going to be stubborn about this didn't mean he wasn't going to try make her feel better.

"Come here you silly, hard headed girl " he said affectionately shuffling down the couch to pull Angela in close. At first she was too surprised by his arms around her to react, but with the warmth of his body against her she felt all her fears melt away. She wrapped her arm around him and leaned on his chest, instantly feeling braver and protected.

"Don't you dare make fun of me Jordan or I swear I'll make you pay" she sighed sorely, looking up at him with a frown on her face. Jordan grinned down at her in triumph, not needing to actually say anything to tell her he was right.

"I wouldn't dream about it" he said in feigned innocence . Angela sighed in annoyance and turned back to the movie. Jordan smiled, relishing the feel of her head resting just above heart, her body so warm and soft against him. He gave the top of her head a quick kiss and tightened his grip around her. Angela looked at him for a quick second in delight, a small sweet smile replacing her scowl. She snuggled in closer and relaxed completely, sighing contentedly.

Angela was so comfortable in their entwined position she soon fell asleep. Jordan didn't realise until the movie was almost over, her shallow sleepy breathes quietly breaking the tension of the final battle onscreen. He watched her for a few minutes in rapture, her face so rosy and peaceful it made him feel unenthusiastic about having to wake her up. Maybe he could put her in her bed without disturbing her too much .Jordan disentangled himself from her and stood up. Slowly and steadily he leaned down and picked her up, cradling Angela to his chest like a small child. Angela stirred, but did not wake. Jordan placed her on her bed, managing to pull back the comforter and cover her in one smooth motion.

"Goodnight Angela" he whispered, giving a small kiss to her forehead. He took one last look at her before turning to leave. A hand reached out and gripped his loosely.

"Wait Jordan" Angela said sleepily, looking at him through half opened eyes.

"Can you stay with me a little while longer? The movie and storm has me a little freaked out". Jordan nodded kindly and allowed her to pull him down beside her. She turned on her side, reaching back to place his arm around her until she was pressing against the full length of him. Jordan shuffled a little and buried his face in her dark blonde hair, exhaling deeply. She was asleep again almost immediately, but Jordan didn't move. He fell into a deep dreamless sleep, never moving from her side all night. Totally at ease.

When Angela woke in the morning the right side of her bed was cold and empty. She was a little upset not to wake up with Jordan beside her, but she knew he probably had a lot of work to do or something. She was bitterly disappointed all the same. When she turned onto her back she saw he'd left a note.

"_Gonne to colect Jason from Grenwich. See u later- Jordan XX"._

Angela smiled, reassured that he'd only left because he had to. She turned back on her side to get another hour of sleep before she had to get up for her therapist, a smile still on her lips.

* * *

"…..So Patty tells me you've been writing again" Rickie said with interest as they sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee.

"Yeah, for the first time in months. So long as you don't count that self-indulgent stuff I wrote in the Hampton's" she said with a self-deprecating smirk. Rickie nodded and smiled knowingly.

"What's with the sudden flurry of creativity? Has something inspired you lately?". Angela knew exactly what he was suggesting, she grinned at her friend conspiratorially.

"If that's your way of asking how thing are going with Jordan, you suck at subtlety!" she laughed. Rickie rolled his eyes "Fine….let me be succinct. How are things going?". Angela looked a little less happy as she spoke "He's been working a lot so we don't see that much of one another, hence I started writing because I've had a lot of time to myself." Rickie looked a little dissatisfied by this piece of information.

"So there's been no developments in nearly two months" he said glumly.

"I wouldn't say that exactly" Angela said with a coy grin, sipping her sweet coffee slowly. Rickie's eyebrows rose a little in surprise.

"Have you guys….?" he began. Angela's eyes widened before she spoke.

"God no, not yet! We just had a nice evening yesterday, it was a step in the right direction ,that's all." Rickie searched her face for signs she was holding anything back.

"So…..you've just been talking?" he said suspiciously. Angela nodded, before breaking out in a devious grin

"Don't worry. It's not going to take long for everything else to follow". Rickie smirked at her brashness .

"Sex and Conversation?" he said simply.

"Exactly. Sex and conversation. What is life without both" Angela said confidently. Rickie clinked his cup against hers loudly.

"You go girl" he said happily. Angela winked at him in appreciation.

"Enough about me, how is your gorgeous fiancé?" she said eagerly.

"Freaking out, we finally set a date and now he's kinda turned into Groom-zilla. " Rickie sighed comically, but smiled regardless.

"Ooohhhh when's the big day?" Angela said excitedly.

"Next Valentines day." Rickie said delightedly. Angela laughed a little.

"How original." she said teasingly.

"Hey! We can't all take the creative route in romance Angela" Rickie said jokingly. Angela stuck her tongue out at him "Oh shut up." she muttered good humouredly.

* * *

After Rickie left Angela was once again at a loss as what to do with the rest of her afternoon. Taking the small elevator down to the bottom floor, she went to the piano. Her fingers ran over the keys with satisfaction before she began to play. It was during her 3rd or 4th song she became aware of someone watching her. She smiled inwardly as she felt Jordan's eyes on her back and stopped playing .

"You know you don't have to hide and sit on the stairs if you want to listen." she said mockingly without turning to face him. Jordan's face grew a little pink for being caught, he looked at Angela sheepishly as she glanced at him in amusement.

"I didn't want to interrupt you" he said honestly as he rose to his feet and descended the stairs. Angela watched him with a smirk as he rounded the grand piano and came to a stop just beside the stool. Leaning on the top the piano, he looked at her with affection.

"Will you play me something?" he said hopefully. Angela nodded and began to play, the dulcet tones of the melody filled the room and Jordan closed his eyes to listen more intently. It reminded him of something, so achingly beautiful and hauntingly sad all at the same time. Jordan thought it was heartbreaking. Halfway through he opened his eyes again and moved to sit beside her on the piano stool, watching her fingers in fascination. When she finished he gave her a pleased smile.

"Wow, what was that?" he said curiously.

"It's called Comptine d'un autre été: L'après-midi , it's from a movie " Angela said quietly, painfully aware of how close he was to her.

"Its good. Will you play me another one?" Jordan asked enthusiastically.

"Sure" Angela said breezily, playing 'chopsticks' with a mischievous smirk. Jordan laughed at her and joined in playing the same melody in a higher octave. Soon they just playing random notes and laughing like children, silently challenging the other to play the most unbearable patterns. The awful sound of disharmony filled the room.

"Stop" he said with a beaming smile "play something real ". He gave her puppy dog eyes as he begged her . Angela sighed a little in defeat and placed her hands over the keys again. She hesitated for a second, feeling a little unsure.

"Want to hear something I wrote?" she said expectantly.

"You wrote a song?" Jordan said in delighted wonder.

"You didn't think Jason got his musical talent only from you?" she replied teasingly.

"No, only my magnetic stage presence." Jordan said with exuberance, puffing out his chest out cockily.

"And your modesty too" she said mockingly. Jordan shot her a cheeky grin but said nothing. He instead stared at the hands waiting patiently for her to begin.

"Look….I wrote this only recently so don't be expecting anything great ok?" she said self-consciously. Jordan gave her a reassuring smile.

"Just play Angie" he said softly.

Taking a deep breath she started to play.

Jordan's breath hitched a little as she played, the song so beautifully simple and sweet. He watched her face intently , her eyes set in deep concentration. Jordan could see she was playing from the heart, pouring everything she had into it. Jordan was taken aback by her talent and passion as she performed, making him feel even more connected to her then he ever had before. As the melody rose, a thought struck him. He'd been working on a song for a long time, but had never been able to find the right melody to suit the words. As he listened to Angela it all seemed to fall into place. Without any concern for embarrassment he opened his mouth and began to sing.

_"No warning sign, no alibi_  
_We faded faster than the speed of light_  
_Took our chance, crashed and burned_  
_No, we'll never ever learn_

_I fell apart, but I got back up again,_  
_And then I fell apart, but got back up again,_  
_yeah"_

Angela's fingers faltered for a second when Jordan had suddenly started to sing, completely baffled. Yet the melding of his voice and the music fit together perfectly and she relaxed once more, giving him an adoring smile. He didn't see though, his eyes were closed as he sang. She played with more gusto as he paused for a second.

_"We both could see crystal clear,_  
_That the inevitable end was near_  
_Made our choice, a trial by fire,_  
_To battle is the only way we feel alive_

_I fell apart, but got back up again,_  
_And then I fell apart, but got back up again,_  
_And then I fell apart, but got back up again_  
_away oh_  
_away oh_  
_away oh_

_away oh_  
_away oh_  
_away oh"_

Angela's heart swelled as he finally opened his eyes and looked at her warmly. This time he sang his words directly to her.

_"So here we are, the witching hour,_  
_The quickest tongue to divide and devour_  
_Divide and devour_  
_If I could end the quest for fire,_  
_For truth, for love, and my desire,"_

Jordan laughed a little as he said the last word, the strangeness of the situation finally hitting him. Even so he continued on with added zeal his voice rising.

_"My desire_  
_And I fell apart, but got back up again_  
_away oh, away oh, away oh, away oh, away oh,_  
_away oh, away oh, away oh, away oh, "_

Angela's nerves were on edge as he sang with so much passion, it made her want to cry. Because she knew what it was he was singing about. The crash. He'd gone through hell when she was in a coma, but had never it knock him down completely. They had survived.

_"I fell apart, I fell apart, I fell apart,_  
_I fell apart. I fell apart,_  
_But got back up again"_

Jordan was breathless when he finished, not just from power he'd put into the song, but from the intensity of what it made him feel. Like he was at the edge again, but this time not afraid to jump. Angela continued on for a second until the melody petered out naturally on its own. They sat there in stunned silence for a while, trying to get a grip on what had actually happened.

"Wow, that was….".

"Intense" Jordan finished for her, looking at Angela in awe "You are amazing you know that."

Angela blushed and avoided his gaze "You're not so bad yourself." she said light-heartedly. Jordan reached down and entwined her hand in his.

"I mean it. You are amazing" he whispered sincerely. Angela squeezed his hand and gave him a faint smile. "Thanks" she said softly.

"I think we should record it" Jordan said suddenly. Angela's head whipped up, a look a horror on her face as she pulled her hand from his.

"Not right now obviously b…" Jordan began.

"Jordan I can't play in front of people, I get too nervous" she said shakily.

"All you have to do is play in a small room" he said with a smile, finding her bashfulness quite endearing "Anyway ,you can play in front of people. You just did a second ago."

Angela looked at him in uncertainty.

"But you're Jordan Catalano, my best friend. Of course I can play in front of you." she said touchily, staring down at her hands. Jordan smirked a little at what she'd said _He_ was her best friend apparently, Rayanne was not going to be too happy with that!

"Fine, if you don't want to do it I won't make you. But with those words and that melody…..it's a great song Angela." Jordan said persuasively. Angela tried her best to win the battle with her better judgement, but unfortunately was unable to resist Jordan's request. "Alright….you twisted my arm. I'll do it" she said grumpily. Jordan grinned, leaning forward he gave her a sloppy, wet kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you" he said giddily. A wide grin spread across her face, as she wiped her wet cheek.

"Was that really necessary?" she said in feigned annoyance. Jordan leaned on the end of the piano giving her a mischievous wink, his shaggy, dark hair falling over his eyes, making his already boyish face look even younger.

Angela laughed a little and looked at him warmly.

"What?" Jordan said in confusion.

"You seriously need a haircut" she said affectionately. Jordan straightened up with a cocked eyebrow.

"And why is that?" he said bemused .

"For one, you and Jason already look too much alike without having similar haircuts. It's weird. And two…" she reached across to him and brushed the bangs away from his face with a smile "I like to actually see those famous blue eyes of yours when I'm talking to you." she said a little flirtatiously. Jordan smiled lazily as her hands lingered near his face, rearranging his hair. Jordan caught one of her hands in his , pressing a kiss to her palm. He moved in a little closer , his eyes filled with a longing she hadn't seen in a while. Jordan let go of her and moved his hand onto her cheek, running his thumb along her skin.

"For you ,anything." he said just above a whisper.

Angela knew what was going to happen next, she turned her face away from his grip, a pained look on her face.

"Jordan, don't" she said despondently, her eyes securely fixed upon the ivory keys of the piano.

"Don't what?" Jordan said sorely, a little upset by her rejection of him. His arm fell by his side as he looked at her in confused hurt.

"Don't look at me like that" Angela said sadly, glancing up at him with desolate green eyes. Jordan's brow knitted in confusion "Like what?". A small tear escaped Angela's eyes as she tried to explain what it was ,that was bothering her.

"Like how you are. As if I'm, like, the sun, or something." she said brokenly.

"But Angela ,to me you are the sun" Jordan said earnestly, trying to reach out to her.

Angela did not react to his touch. Instead she ran her fingers over the thin, curved four inch scar that ran from just at the tip of her right eyebrow to the middle of her cheek. The mark had faded considerable, but Angela still thought it had irreparably ruined her face and made her ugly.

" Jordan… look at me. I'm damaged goods, my legs fucked, my face…why would you ever want me?" she said completely crushed . Jordan's eyes softened as he immediately understood why she'd shied away. He leaned over and kissed the scar tenderly as he gave her a sweet smile. The edge of Angela's mouth turned up for a second, but she remained staring off miserably.

"You ever hear, true beauty comes from imperfection" he said honestly as he pulled back a little to look into her eyes. She avoided his gaze, not truly believing him.

"Flaws make you who you are, makes you real. It's like that poem that guy Shakespeare wrote about his lover or something . What was it?". Jordan smiled a little to himself as it came back to him. It wa the only poem he ever bothered to remember, thanks to that weird English teacher they'd had in Sophomore year.

"And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare ,as any she belied with false compare."

Angela raised her eyes for a second in surprise, Jordan Catalano was quoting sonnets now. He never ceased to amaze her. Jordan saw with concern she still unable to look at him fully, her confidence too shattered to trust his words.

"Angela look at me." he said gently. When she stayed still, he reached over and caught on the chin, turning her towards. "Look at me" he repeated more affectionately. Angela finally locked onto his gaze, her eyes filled with uncertainty. He moved his hand back to her cheek again, and gave her an adoring smile.

"You are my own personal fallen angel. And I will always, I mean always ,think you're beautiful. Even when you're dressed in sweatpants." he said in a slightly teasing tone.

Angela's dark expression faded and a small smile grew across her face.

"The thing is…honestly. You're more stunning right now, scars and all, then any other girl I've ever met" Jordan said awkwardly.

Angela's smile grew to an impossibly wide size and she leaned in ,catching his face between her hands, and kissed him ecstatically. Jordan responded instantly, kissing her back with just as much eagerness. His hands found their way to her face and his fingers wrapped into her hair.

His heart began to pound as they kissed each other hurriedly. Angela pulled back a bit, a smile still on her lips. Resting her forehead against his she sighed happily.

"Sometimes you're too damn charming for your own good." she said seductively, linking her hands behind his head. Jordan chuckled softly, stroking her hair " I try" he said lightly as he leaned back into capture her lips. This time it was more forceful and filled with need and desire. Fireworks began to go off in Angela's head like they had done before in Three Rivers, making her breathless.

For Jordan it was the same, the feeling of her tongue playing with ,his igniting something deep within him. He pulled her onto his lap to be able to kiss her more easily. A deep purr of appreciation came from Angela's throat as she pulled his head even closer to her. Jordan could feel something beginning to stir in his pants as she settled herself upon him, their kisses becoming increasingly fiery.

"Oh dear God! Could you please play tonsil hockey somewhere else" Jason exclaimed in disgust as he wandered out of the downstairs gym, straight towards to their vigorous make-out session. He quickly covered his face as Angela scrambled off his father.

"Ehhh…hi Jason. I didn't know you were in there" she squeaked with a red face.

"Obviously!" her son said huffily as he made his way to the stairs still shielding his face to his parents. Jordan snorted and began to laugh uncontrollably. Angela gave him a light smack. "Stop laughing. It's not funny Jordan" she moaned, but was unable to resist joining in.

"That was so embarrassing." she said trying not to giggle, covering her red face with her hands. Jordan pressed a kiss to her head and gave her a grin, pulling her hands down again. "You'll be fine. Now where were we?" he said with hunger in his eyes as he stroked her face. Angela smiled enticingly and went to kiss him again.

Jason cleared his throat behind them, just as she was about to close the distance fully. Jordan exhaled loudly in annoyance, cursing his son for his impeccable timing.

"Yes Jason" he said wearily, pulling back. Jason came down the stairs a little, his eyes still covered.

"I would tell you guys to get a room ,but Dad needs to bring me to the game" he said moodily, feeling unbelievably uncomfortable. Jordan squeezed his eyes shut. He'd forgotten about the Jets game he was going to with Shane and Jason.

"Shit." he hissed and gave Angela an apologetic look.

"Alright…be ready to go in half an hour Jay. Ok?" he said half-heartedly. Jason grunted and went back up to the second floor, stamping all the way.

"Sorry. I promised Jason we'd go." Jordan said regretfully. Angela shrugged in understanding. "It's ok. You guys go have fun."

Jordan gave her a small, brief kiss before releasing his grip on her. Standing up again, he winked at her cheekily.

"See you later Angelface".

Angela smiled coyly" I'll be waiting." With that he raced up the stairs, whistling happily, while Angela smiled goofily. She began to play on the piano again, her heart overflowing with glee. It was official, she was totally and utterly in love with Jordan Catalano and nothing was going to stop her from being with him this time.

* * *

Jason didn't talk much for most of the football game, when he did, it was mostly directed to Shane. Jordan knew Jason was mad at him, but for what he wasn't exactly sure why.

When the game reached half time Jordan knew he needed to speak to his son urgently.

"Shane could you go grab me a beer?" he said nonchalantly. Shane sent him a strange look.

"The line is going be huge, why…" Jordan's eyes flicked to Jason and then back to Shane. His friend realised what he wanted and changed his attitude. He sighed heavily.

"You want a root beer or anything Jay" Shane said jadedly to Jason. "Just a bottle of water if you can get one" the boy replied distractedly. Shane got out of his seat and dutifully made his way to the refreshment stand. Jason remained ignoring his father, staring off disinterestedly to the half time show.

"Jason is something wrong?" Jordan said tiredly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Jason shook his head "I'm fine" he said blankly. Jordan exhaled loudly in annoyance.

"You been shutting me out all night, you're not fine. Now tell me I'm what's bothering you". Jason gave him a disgusted scowl, eventually looking at him.

"You know what ,so stop asking me something you already know the answer to." he snapped. Jordan's yes widened at his son's animosity.

"I'm sorry you had to walk in on us, I know it's embarrassing, but there's no need to be mad about it" Jordan replied a little more gruffly.

"It's not about that." Jason hissed angrily "You guys are not supposed to be 'together'" .

"Wait what?" Jordan exclaimed as anger began to build in his gut "I thought you wanted me and your Mom back together." Jason looked at him heatedly.

"What I wanted was you guys to get along, to stop biting at others throats, to be friends. Which you have been for weeks now. It's been so good" Jordan looked at him in confusion "And?".

Jason scoffed loudly. "And if you guys start screwing one another ,everything is going to go to hell and we'll be back at square one. Sex complicates things." Jordan bit his lip to stop a laugh from escaping his mouth. The idea of his son schooling him the intricacies of adult relationships was hilarious.

"Nothing is going to happen, I won't let it this time" Jordan said reassuringly.

"How can I be sure that one of you won't fuck this up" Jason said a bit more calmly.

"You can't, but you need to have faith in us that we won't." Jordan replied openly. Jason searched his father's face, looking for some kind of guarantee.

"How can I trust ,you won't fuck it up" he said harshly.

Jordan paused before answering frankly "Two months ago I nearly lost her and I'm not willing to let that happen again. I promise." Jason nodded and relaxed a little.

"Ok" he said seriously. Jordan saw he'd gotten through to him. He ruffled Jason's hair with his hand and smiled in relief. Jason swatted his hand away but grinned a little as he turned back to the show. Shane returned back to his seat empty handed.

"Shane where's the stuff?" Jordan said with laugh. Shane looked at him in disbelief.

"I thought you were joking!" he groaned. "No! I really did want a beer" Jordan scoffed.

"Oh for the love of God the game is about to start in a minute" Shane grumbled as he stalk off to the refreshments again. Jason's moodiness finally disappeared as he grinned at Shane's childish sulking. "Some people never grow up, do they Dad?" he said cheerfully, turning back to him. Jordan gave him a half smile.

"You never really grow up, just learn how to behave in public." Jason rolled his eyes and cheered as the teams took the field again. Jordan leaned back in his seat, thankful that another blistering argument had been avoided.

* * *

_There was a smell of burning rubber, petrol and blood. She looked around the wrecked car, her eyes bleary as red liquid ran down her face. She couldn't move, her legs screaming in pain and her head swimming. Even through the pain filled fog she could see him. Blood pouring from his head, and glass cutting into his face. He wasn't moving. She tried to reach out to him, but her consciousness was drifting._

"_Jason" she called out weakly as she thrashed in her crushed seat._

"_Jason" she cried again, fearing the worst._

Angela's eyes snapped open and she found herself panting heavily. It was only a dream. Her breathing slowed again as she felt relief wash over her. As she regained her senses full, she became aware that someone was stroking her hair . Angela turned her to see Jordan sitting on the side of the bed, staring at her in concern.

"Hey" he said softly "you ok?". Angela gave him a weak smile and nodded. Suddenly realising she was shaking ,her cheeks went pink in humiliation.

"Yeah .It was only a nightmare." she whispered shamefully. She looked at him a little in bewilderment "Why are you in here?".

Jordan smirked a little "You were screaming Jason's name and I happened to be in the kitchen getting a glass of water. I had to check you were ok". Angela thought if it was possible to die of embarrassment, she'd pretty much be a corpse right now.

"Oh. Sorry." she meekly.

"It's ok, we all get nightmares from time to time" he laughed a little, his hand still stroking her hair.

"Do want to talk about it?" he asked considerately. Angela looked up at him in the dark, his eyes shining brightly even in the inky black of the room.

"It's nothing really, I just sometimes get flashbacks to the crash. I'm used to it" she said apathetically. Jordan watched her for a second with sympathy.

"Does it happen often?" he asked with concern. Angela shook her head "Less and less as time goes by." Jordan moved his hand away from her reluctantly.

"You sure you're ok" he said anxiously. Angela gave him a small smile

"Yeah I'll be fine." He nodded, satisfied he'd done his duty, then rose from her bed and went towards the open door.

"Jordan, will you stay with me again. I'll be able to sleep better if you're beside me" she asked with embarrassment, looking at him expectantly. Jordan gave her a smile and closed the door, never so happy to get an offer of simple cuddling from anyone so much in his life.

"Oh course." he said with enthusiasm.

He crawled under the cover beside her and wrapped his arm around her. Unlike the night before he was clad in only his boxers, a fact which made Angela's face flush a little. She pushed all her immediate and sordid thoughts out of her mind and moved her back against him like she had before. It was really late and she was tired, it was unwise to give into primal urges or so she tried to convince herself.

"Did you guys have a nice time tonight?" she sighed sleepily. Jordan breathed in deeply as he pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck.

"Yeah we did. Me and Jason had a little heart to heart so it was really nice" Jordan sighed contentedly, already feeling drowsy. Angela smiled in the dark.

"That's good" she said a little more faintly, so comfortable it was hard for her to stay awake. Even with a man a hot and scantily clad as Jordan Catalano pressed against her so closely.

"Goodnight Angela" Jordan said, just as groggily as she felt.

"Night" she whispered.

They'd just fallen into a light sleep when a flash of lightening lit up the cracks in the curtains, filling the room with small streams of light. A huge rumble of thunder ripped through the quiet night, shaking them awake. As a second flash filled the room with light and thunder crackled loudly again, Angela felt Jordan stiffened and grip her a little more tightly. He relaxed again, but as another round of crashes came from outside he tensed up once more. Angela snapped completely awake, as he shivered a little behind her.

"Jordan are you ok?" she said with worry. "I'm fine" mumbled as he buried his face in her hair. She saw the lightening flashing outside again and waited for the thunder to sound. Sure enough Jordan reacted the same. Angela laughed a little when she realised what was going on.

"Oh my god, are you afraid of the thunder?" she said with a smirk as she turned onto her back to see his face.

"Shut up. I am not afraid of thunder" he replied touchily, pouting at her in the dark. The thunder growled again and Jordan jumped a little and clung to her tightly for a second.

"Really?" she said sceptically as she turned completely to face him.

"I'm not afraid. I just don't…. like it that much" he said shamefully. Angela could see he was genuinely freaked out by the thunderstorm and decided not to tease him any further.

"Is there anything I can do?" she said more softly, rubbing his back soothingly. Jordan squeezed his eyes shut as another great clash of noise filled the air.

"Distract me" he said a little shakily.

Angela sat up a little, leaning on her elbow for support as she watched him carefully. As she gazed at him ,her eyes wandered down to his bare chest and a realisation hit her. Here they were, in the same bed, wide awake in the middle of the night , wearing nothing but underwear or thin pyjamas in her case. Angela had always thought when life offered you opportunities, there was no time like the present to seize it. She smiled to herself roguishly as knew exactly how to keep Jordan's mind off the weather. Jordan looked at her in puzzlement as she gently pushed him onto his back, while she propped herself on her elbows, now lying partially on her stomach. Rising above him, Angela gave him a sinful grin, before coming down to kiss him achingly slowly. Her left hand brushing down just over his groin purposefully for a tantalising second, before resting on his bare stomach. She pulled back , hovering millimetres above his mouth.

"Is this a good enough distraction?" she asked playfully. Jordan gave her a wolfish grin, his eyes burning with anticipation and lust. He didn't answer her but yanked her head down to meet his mouth again. It was all fire and electricity as they quickly picked up the pace and their hands began to wander. As things started to really heat up, Angela was so thankful she'd convinced her therapist to let her save her legs again. That would have been humiliating if she hadn't.

Jordan lifted the shirt of her pyjamas a little and ran his fingers up and down her sides, loving the feel of her satin skin beneath his fingertips. His hands wandered all the way up to her chest, knowing he reached the most sensitive spot as Angela gasped in pleasure .He grunted as she teased him again with her hand gracing over his ever hardening crotch in retaliation.

"Stop doing that." he said in tight voice. Angela smiled seductively "Or what?" she said huskily.

"Or I'll make a rather nasty mess in my boxers" Jordan replied with humour, giving her another searing kiss. Angela's hand again wandered, this time right under the band of his boxers. She ran her fingers lightly along the shaft to the tip, rubbing it for second, then cruelly slide her hand back up his abdomen .Jordan's face screwed up tightly as he tried with all his might not to explode in her bed.

"Stop doing that. Are you trying to kill me?" he said with a tense laugh. Angela smiled at him evilly. "You said distract me. That's what I'm doing."

"No, you're torturing me" he said with a grin .Angela gave him a self-satisfied smirk, her hands beginning to wander south again. This time Jordan caught her hand, and turned them so he was now on top of her, still gripping her hand. He kissed again with such intensity she melted beneath him and her naughty intentions drifted away. Jordan felt on fire as she nipped at his neck, his hands then began to travel downward in search of revenge like she'd done to him. Angela whimpered and bucked a little as he found the spot he was searching for. Just as she had done, he did not spend long satisfying her hunger.

"You're an ass" she complained against his lips.

"You started it" he said with a wicked smile. His hands wandered southward again, but this time he did not tease her, instead he rested his hand upon her upper thigh. Angela began to tug at his boxers and his excitement grew. He was more than ready to finally rid himself of all the tension that had built up in his body over his yearning for her. Jordan set about ridding her of her pants, but as he carelessly bent her leg too far, she yelled out in pain and pushed him off her roughly.

"Fucking shit, oh God" she hissed, tears pricking at her eyes as gripped her leg. Jordan's eyes widened as he realised what he's done.

"Oh hell, I'm so sorry Angela. I didn't mean to hurt you" he said apologetically, sitting up in the bed as her face still was tight in agony.

"It's ok. My leg just seized up. It'll be fine in a second" she said a little more calmly. Her breath was still jagged and uneven, but she wanted to continue what they'd been doing.

"What are you waiting for, let's go" she said a little huffily, pulling him back towards her. Jordan cocked an amused eyebrow at her.

"Sweetie you're almost crying in agony, we're not having sex" he laughed lightly.

"I'm fine" she said indignantly. Jordan did not show any emotion as he leaned over and moved her right leg up only a small fraction. Angela yelped loudly.

"Oh yes, totally fine" Jordan said with a cocky smirk.

"Ok….fine. It hurts like hell, but I really want to…you know." Angela groaned in displeasure. Jordan gave her a affectionate grin and kissed her cheek as he pulled into a cuddle. "So did I ,but obviously you're not quite better yet. We have all the time in the world" .

"But I'm horny right now" she moaned, visibly sulking in his arms. Jordan propped himself up again to look at her properly, smiling at her glowering face.

"You know there is something I could do to _relieve_ that a little if you wanted" Jordan said seductively, his eyes flicking downward for a second. Angela looked at him thoughtfully, ever so tempted to take him up on the offer. She shook her head.

"As appealing as that sounds, it's not the same. I'd rather wait. Anyway the moods kinda gone" she said a little more cheerfully. Jordan nodded in agreement, it was true that anything but sex would not have been enough to cure what was ailing both of them. It was better to wait a little while longer.

The storm outside had passed and now gentle rain fell from the sky. "Want to go asleep?" he said softly, suddenly feeling unbelievably tired again. It had been a whirlwind of a day. Angela nodded and they took up their previous position, closely entwined together. She laughed as she felt something pushing against her ass.

"Jordan tell your penis to go back asleep" she snorted loudly.

"I'm trying, but he's being defiant." Jordan exclaimed jokingly, finding it difficult to cool himself down after their little tumble in the sheets. Especially when Angela's ass was so closely shoved against his crotch. Sometimes love sucked.

After a while things were calm again and a peaceful ,easy atmosphere had overcome the night. Jordan wasn't sure if Angela was awake or not, but he felt the need to tell her something at that moment.

"You know I was thinking ,maybe you shouldn't go back to your place after you get better. I don't want you to leave. For this to be over" .Angela remained breathing deeply beside him.

"Angela?" Jordan whispered, propping himself to see her face. He was disappointed to see she was fast asleep ,her eyes securely closed. He lay back against her and snuggled in close, his lips just at the nape of her neck. He soon fell asleep. Beside him, Angela's eyes flipped open. She felt bad she hadn't responded, but she didn't know what to say to what he'd asked. What would happen if she did stay?

"I don't want to leave either." she whispered back honestly. She breathed deeply and held his arm tightly, slowly drifting off to sleep.

**-so yeah this chapter was a bit of a fluffy love fest but I really enjoyed it. Next chapter will also be quite sweet but the rating may have to be M depending on how carried away I get. Anyway adios mis amigos.**


	18. Closer Part 1

_**Hello to all my readers again. First of all I want to thank everyone who reviewed my last chapter so very much (Spiceygirl, Luvjordan,Marion Davis, Microscop, Creceant, Gagirl29,Car153, slvrhalo6277,Danigirl and Blackbirdfly2.0 ) it made my month! I want to particularly give a shout out to Blackbirdfly2.0 and Marion Davis because they were both literally the best comments I have ever gotten! I nearly cried I was so honoured. Second of all, this chapter was originally 20,0000 words long so I've split it. Part 2 will be up straight after part 1. This part is rated M…..simply to be on the safe side. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and worked quite hard on it. Anyway enjoy!**_

_**-RedCatCatalano**_

Life in apartment number 6277 after the Autumnal storms seemed to lull and calm with the subsiding of the extreme weather. The temperatures continued to drop and the new north winds brought with them a sense of cool tranquillity. Inside the walls of the vast Catalano/ Chase residence there was still a sense of urgency, but the fevered worry of the previous weeks had faded into a wave of excitement and welcome relief now that Echelon's album was nearing completion. Shane and Robbie were a constant presence within the apartment for most of the day, but a joking camaraderie had replaced the once tense environment.

After Jordan and Angela's attempted coitus, things had seemed to cool down a bit between them too. They'd taken to sleeping in their own beds again. Strictly alone and determined to avoid the temptation that simply lying beside one another had caused. With the realisation that a real problem lay in the way of their desires, they'd taken a step back, neither wanting to repeat the embarrassment and frustration the last endeavour had brought. Not that it didn't cross their minds from time to time to try again. They were only human.

Jason, despite his initial fears and reservations, had gotten used to the idea of his parents burgeoning relationship. Thankfully for him, there had been no further embarrassing and accidental incidents of him walking in on them in a compromising position . Only minor awkward moments had happened, where he'd glimpsed a small kiss between them or when they had snuggled up beside one another watching a movie. It was chaste enough that it only made him vaguely feel like barfing. Truthfully the whole, 'one big happy family' under one roof was a little strange to him. He'd lived so much of his life with no father, he'd always been resigned to reality of finding his own way to manhood, but then fate had given back Jordan. Yet then when he'd finally gotten a constant male presence in his life, there had been months of his parents hating one another from opposite sides of their bitter war. Now the idea that he could actually live in a contented two parent household was a bizarre concept to him. If he was brutally honest about it, he was delight at the prospect, but quietly wary of setting his hopes too high. The honey-moon period was bound to end eventually, and it remained to be seen how they would all fair once the rosy excitement had dissipated and the real relationship began. There was also the small issue that hadn't been discussed yet, were they all going to stay in one place once Angela was fully recovered? It was a question that played upon his mind at times. But for now Jason could enjoy basking in the cosy, peaceful atmosphere and pretend that this was how it was always going to be. He still was hopeful and at least his Mom seemed blissfully happy.

Jordan on the other hand was feeling the pressure, blaming himself unmercifully for the backward step he and Angela had taken in their physical activities. He believed that maybe if he had taken more care with her ,like he knew he should have, things may have actually gone their way. The thoughts of the night of the storm, of how achingly close they had come to being together in all senses of the word, plagued him . His craving for Angela Chase had grown steadily stronger after the heated exchange they'd had betwixt the sheets ,when every touch had ignited a fresh torrent of fire within them . Jordan now often lay wide awake at night itching to be with her, so agonizingly aware of the fact she lay sleeping only one floor below him. He found only temporary relief in the regular routine of self satisfaction given by his left hand. But he couldn't exactly tell Angela just how sexual frustrated he was, afraid this would be perceived as pressuring her towards sleeping with him before she was better. Jumping ahead before both parties were ready had backfired for them in the past and Jordan was not about to make that mistake again. He wasn't still some seventeen year boy with no self control, or so he tried to convince himself.

The only source of comfort Jordan found in the difficult situation was, that while their sexual relationship had reached a temporary stand still, the emotional side of their renewed closeness had gone from strength to strength. He found joy in the smallest new details he learned about her. All the cute little habits and idiosyncrasies that should have driven him crazy he discovered did nothing but endear her more to him. Angela similarly was delighting in truly getting reacquainted with Jordan Catalano, especially without the worry this time of not knowing what he felt about her. For once she was never so certain of something so much in her entire life. As he'd said, she was beautiful to him even in sweatpants, a simple statement that told her all she needed to know.

In the temporary absence of sex, they took solace in merely being with one another. It was a reaffirmation in their heads , that what they had was not solely based upon carnal lust, but on something much deeper and sustainable. Not that this was a new realisation for either of them, in reality a simple attraction based on physical desire would not had survived a decade and a half. The tentative beginning to their relationship as teenagers had become something greater the moment they'd bonded over his reading problems, a revelation that impacted upon their future the minute he'd admitted to her suspicions. In that instance someone had understood Jordan, and actively wanted to understand him, for the first time in his entire life. In that instance the course of history had been irrevocably altered.

But despite all the warm and fuzzy feelings that surrounded him when he was in Angela's company, Jordan was as sulky as a two year old when he was with his band mates half the time . Like a weary child unable to vocalise what was bothering them, Jordan's hidden frustration tended to rear it's ugly head when they were working. Without the constructive activity of physically writing anymore, Jordan blew minor, technical disagreements with the sound engineers into full scale conflicts. It was a method of venting his aggression which quickly grated on Robbie and Shane's once calming nerves.

"Sorry Robbie I think we need to raise the tempo on the bridge, take it from the top if don't mind" Larry ,the sound tech, said through the microphone into the sound booth.

"For the love of God, you've been recording this section for the last hour .Hurry up" Jordan snapped from his chair at the other end of the mixing desk. Shane scowled heavily, it was about the tenth time in the space of an hour that Jordan had complained about something trivial. He picked up an empty sandwich carton and hurled it at Jordan's head. Finding it's mark, Jordan whipped around to his friend.

"Shane what the fuck" he yelled.

"You deserved it. Shut the hell up complaining ,Larry's just trying to get it right" Shane huffed in exasperation.

"No! We've managed to record nothing more than half a song in three hours and we have five days left to deliver the full rough cut to the label." Jordan exclaimed as he rubbed his sore forehead.

"Well you're not helping the process with all you're constant whining. " Shane retorted grouchily. Jordan shot him a look of contempt, but crossed his arms without another word. He slumped down far into the chair and glared of into the booth. Robbie arched an eyebrow at Shane through the glass, the drummer shrugged and silently told his friend not bother ask about what was going on. A little more time past before Jordan started to swing his swivel chair back and forth in agitated boredom. Shane rolled his eyes in irritation as a loud ,high pitched squeaking filled the space. Larry also winced visibly at the discordant noise Jordan was causing. Shane exhaled loudly as he stood up and grabbed the back of Jordan's chair.

"Jordan I swear if you don't get out of the studio in the next minute I'm going to murder you with your own guitar." he said in a low threatening growl.

"You can't throw me out of my own studio" Jordan cried in indignation. An arrogant smirk replaced Shane's scowl.

"I can and I will. For all our sakes."

With that he pushed the top of the chair suddenly and Jordan lost his balanced, sliding of the leather onto the floor. He quickly jumped to his feet, squaring up to Shane belligerently. His best friend laughed a little at Jordan's overreaction.

"Jesus calm down Catalano, I don't want to have to kick your ass like when we were kids." Shane said a bit more evenly.

"That was one time and you cheated when you kicked me in the nuts !" Jordan shouted, but seemed to relax a little with Shane's less than confrontational manner.

Shane noticed that the fire in Jordan's eyes was retracting, and decided to continue on with his initial intentions.

"Look, you're driving us all insane. You obviously need a break and we need a break from you too." Shane said simply.

"Gee thanks!" Jordan moaned touchily.

"Something is clearly bothering you and it's making it impossible for the rest us to work." Shane added. Jordan looked to Larry for a second and the young man nodded his head in reluctant agreement of Shane's words. He couldn't deny that his felt nothing but being full with energy, like a charged and buzzing current of antagonistic electricity. Jordan sighed in defeat

"Fine ,I can fuck off for a while." Shane gave a grin in thanks.

"Go work out , blow off some steam or something. It'll do you some good." Jordan's eyebrows raised a second as he realised the truth in Shane's statement, he was in terrible need of some kind of physical activity to counteract the excess and disruptive energy he seemed to have lately.

"Actually that's not a bad idea." he said more happily.

"Just be back up here for 7pm. We have that web chat with MTV at 7.10." Shane said firmly. Jordan nodded grudgingly.

"Right" he sighed and walked out the door. Larry breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Not to speak out of turn, but….. is he always that much of an asshole?" Larry said jadedly.

"No…. Jordan's just needs to do the horizontal tango ." Shane said with wry smile, but Larry looked up at him in confusion.

"What?" the tech said mystified.

"He could do with getting laid. No sex makes him grumpy" Shane added in plainer English with a wolfish grin.

"Oh!" Larry said with a snort of laughter "poor guy". Shane went and sat beside Larry. "You have no idea!" Shane said with a worn-out sigh.

The last of the early evening sun sent shadows across the off white walls of the kitchen as Angela and Rayanne sat inside talking. It was the first time in weeks that they'd spoken face to face since they'd left the Hampton's. Rayanne was busy with a new off-Broadway play and was currently living in a rented apartment in Chelsea.

"So how is the apartment hunting going? Is Brian still moaning about moving from Boston?" Angela said with a slight smile, grabbing a carrot stick from the bowl in the centre of the table.

"He's accepted it makes more sense now we live together, we should live in the Big Apple. I can still do stage work and he can still work for the same firm. Plus there's more opportunity for promotion in the New York office." Rayanne said cheerfully.

"So….you nagged him until he agreed to transfer offices?" Angela teased with a knowing smirk.

"Yeah basically" Rayanne replied with an arrogant smile, biting into a carrot forcefully.

"That man will do anything I say if I complain hard enough."

Her good humour faded a little as she continued "But…"

"You're finding it hard to get an apartment." Angela finished for her.

"Yeah! Every time we find a great place, it's gone before we can even make an offer!" Rayanne moaned.

"Welcome to NY my friend, you have to act fast" Angela said with a smile.

"We also can't agree on where to live. I want West Village and Brian wants to live in Brooklyn Heights. Brooklyn of all places! It's a nightmare!" Rayanne sighed loudly. Angela looked at her thoughtfully for a moment.

"If you want, you could use my place for a couple of months until you find somewhere definitive." she said considerately.

"Won't you be needing it back soon?" Rayanne asked with genuine confusion. Angela shrugged nonchalantly biting into another carrot stick. Rayanne's pale eyebrow's flew high up on her forehead as she realised what this meant.

"Wait, are you thinking about staying here permanently?" she said in an excited voice. Angela's face flushed a little pink.

"Maybe, I don't know. It's just been so great being here with Jordan and Jason, and my Mom, that I'm not sure if I want to go back to my own place" she said a little self-consciously.

"Did Jordan say something to you about it?" Rayanne said with a slight frown, concerned Angela was jumping a little ahead of herself.

"Kind of. Last week during the storm when we were just about to go to sleep….and he said he didn't want this to end, that maybe I shouldn't go back to my apartment." Rayanne felt her smile grow at this, Jordan Catalano was making it a habit of surprising her lately. It seemed he really was changing.

"And what did you say in return to his idea?" Rayanne asked giddily. Angela's cheeks blushed in shame as she replied.

"I pretended to be asleep." she said sheepishly.

"ANGELA!" Rayanne exploded in disbelief "How could you?"

"I panicked, he completely blindsided me!" Angela spluttered, throwing her hands up in the air. Rayanne scoffed loudly.

"That's so bad, Angelika".

"Oh please, when Brian asked you to move in with him you didn't exactly react well either, so you totally can't judge" Angela retorted moodily.

"Yeah….well….I'm getting better with that stuff." Rayanne mumbled.

There was a lull in the conversation as Angela sulked a little at Rayanne's reaction to her confession. She'd expected her friend to understand her response to Jordan's bolt in the blue suggestion. Before they could revive the banter, Jason walked down from his room with his Math book, a frustrated and puzzled look set on his fine features.

"Mom could you help me with this problem? I just can't get it to work out," he asked politely.

"Sure, give it here." she said with an enthusiastic smile.

Her smile slipped as she saw it was geometry, her one weakness .

She sighed and turned the book towards Rayanne.

"I suck at these equations. Can you help him?" she said with a frown. Rayanne snorted with laughter as she immediately connected the dots.

"Never ask your mom about geometry, she was learning something totally different in the boiler room instead of going to class." Rayanne grinned as she set about figuring out where Jason was going wrong. Angela winced a little in embarrassment, quietly hoping Jason didn't asked the obvious question. Unfortunately her son did what she'd been dreading.

"Like what?" Jason said in bewilderment. Angela glared across at Rayanne, silently warning her to keep her mouth shut. But Rayanne couldn't resist being a bitch just this once.

"Oh ,only how to give the most mind-blowing hand.."

"RAYANNE!" Angela yelped loudly, causing Jason to jump slightly in astonishment and forget what Rayanne was about to say.

"Wow I didn't know your voice could go that high Mom! I think all the dogs in the neighbourhood heard that." Jason said with a laugh .

"What were saying Rayanne?" Angela gave Rayanne a murderous stare, this time Miss Graff stayed silent about it, not actually wanting to completely piss Angela off.

"Nothing, it's not important." Rayanne said with a smile. Angela rolled her eyes , but smiled back.

"So can you help me with the geometry question?" Jason asked hopefully.

"Yeah d'uh! The problem is you're using the wrong function " Rayanne said boredly.

"Oh yeah, how didn't I see that." Jason laughed in slight embarrassment.

"Anything else you need help with?" Angela said earnestly.

"Eh actually I do. We have to suggest a love song to describe the relationship between Romeo and Juliet and then write a 500 word essay defending our choice for English class. I can't think of one good enough" Jason said blankly as he corrected the math question in his notebook. Angela frowned as she wracked her brains for the right song. Unfortunately Rayanne got there first.

"Closer by Nine Inch Nails is definitely it" she said firmly somehow being able to maintain a straight face, while Angela's jaw drop in shock at her audacity.

"Thanks" Jason muttered as he scribbled her suggestion down on a spare piece of paper.

"Oh my God don't listen to her, you'll get suspended if do an assignment on that song" Angela spluttered suddenly, finally finding her voice.

"Why what's wrong with it?" Jason asked, mixed up by Rayanne's grin and his mother's reddening cheeks.

"It's just… not… suitable for the subject matter" Angela said in a small voice, feeling the heat creeping further across her cheeks.

"So is _not_ a love song or something?" Jason said curiously looking between his mother and her friend. The devious twinkle in Rayanne's eye grew brighter, clearly enjoying this little game.

"In a manner of speaking….I'm sure your Mom has it playing on repeat in her head whenever she see's Jordan ." she said with a wicked grin. Angela buried her face in hands as her face flamed so hotly she felt as if she was going to pass out. The worst part was she couldn't contradict Rayanne's suggestion. It made her feel incredibly perverted even to admit to herself, but it pretty much summed up her undisclosed desires.

Jason noticed Angela's clear embarrassment and it began to dawn on him that there was something else going on here.

"Wait….are we talking about something dirty right now?" he said suspiciously.

"No, it's about something perfectly natural" Rayanne said almost seriously.

"Something weird's going on, I'm going to Google it" Jason replied distractedly as he turned to go back to his room awkwardly, realising his mothers discomfort was probably well founded. Angela was about to protest, but he was already gone before she could get his attention. Angela looked at Rayanne as if she was about to kill her .

"Stop trying to corrupt my baby boy!" Angela growl as soon as Jason's was well out of earshot. Rayanne just shrugged casually, her cheeky smile returning.

"Oh please your baby boy is well past being corrupted. He's fifteen and has Jordan Catalano for a father ,therefore he is destined to be a sexual deviant." Angela narrowed her eyes at Rayanne

"Shut up that's not even funny!" she groaned.

"Anyway what's so bad about Closer, I listen to it with Brian like all the time." Rayanne said irreverently with an even more fiendish grin. Angela looked at her in disgust, but couldn't help laughing.

"TMI Graff, TMI! Forget Jordan, you're the damn deviant."

Life seemed a little bit more manageable to Jordan as he walked out of the gym, his arms and legs aching in welcome exhaustion and the feeling of drying sweat on his back. The work out had released some of the tension that he'd been holding in for most of the day, making him feel calm once more. His thoughts finally clear and easy. He smiled at the sound of Angela and Rayanne's laughter coming down the stairs, as he climbed the steps cheerfully. Jordan couldn't help but notice Angela check him out as he wandered past them and up to his room. He had neglected to put his shirt back on, and was glad when he saw her give him the once over, an enticing smile of approval spread across her lips. Angela's cheeks flushed as she took in the gorgeous vision of him, striding past her with a spring in his step she hadn't seen recently. His confidence soared as he practically skipped up the stairs, turning back for a moment to send her a flirtatious wink. Angela winked back, but her thrilled smile faded when Jordan was soon was out of sight. Angela exhaled loudly and groaned as she leaned her head against her hand.

"He so totally did that on purpose just to drive me crazy." Angela complained.

"You really have it bad for him, don't you?" Rayanne questioned with a smirk as Angela looked at where Jordan had been a second before, biting into a carrot stick fiercely. Someone was obviously feeling a little hot under the collar at the moment.

"You think?" Angela replied with a wry grin, turning back to Rayanne.

"I take it there's been no improvement to your little problem then?" her friend said with less humour, feeling sorry for Angela's predicament.

"Nope, my leg's still being utterly uncooperative" Angela sighed sullenly, as she popped the rest of the carrot stick into her mouth.

"Have you not tried _other_ ways to relieve the tension?" Rayanne said pointedly.

"We tried phone sex…but I felt so ridiculously unattractive I started laughing, like, uncontrollably. Then my mom came into my room to give me camomile tea in the middle of our second attempt. It was so awkward I couldn't bring myself to try a third time. So _other _options are not really _options." _Angela laughed dryly.

"Why don't you just get your doctor to up your pain pills dose for a while?" Rayanne suggested optimistically .

"My painkillers make me drowsy and as much as I am dying to get a little action, I'd rather not pass out in the middle of it" Angela said sarcastically.

"I guess it does really defeat the purpose" Rayanne laughed ,but then frowned as she tried to search her brains for a solution.

"What about a muscle relaxant? They gave me one when I hurt my back in the rehearsals for Sweet Charity."

Angela looked at her friend thoughtfully.

"Don't they numb everything?" Angela asked with genuine interest.

"Not the ones they gave me….I'm sure if you discuss it with your doctor she'll know what to give you." Angela let out a sudden the blast of laughter.

"Discuss it! And say what? Please give me something for my bitch of a leg so I can screw my boyfriend's brains out. I'm sure she'll be _SO _willing to help!" Angela scoffed. Rayanne grinned a little more brightly at Angela's use of the term 'boyfriend', progress was definitely being made.

"Just tell Dr. Ross you want to get back into yoga or something, if in doubt lie! It's only a temporary solution anyway". Angela shrugged but grinned broadly, gleefully excited by the possibilities Rayanne's suggestion brought.

Rayanne watched her best friend, and was struck by how full of life she seemed. After nearly losing her best friend to that awful crash, it made Rayanne feel all warm and fuzzy to see Angela almost back to her old self. Yet it was something more then this that caused her to feel so excited for her friend. Angela was oozing with vitality and vigour , her blissful happiness so blatant she was practically glowing like sunshine. Which was oblivious of some small thanks to things ,at long last ,starting to work out with Jordan Catalano again.

"…so….boyfriend you say. " Rayanne said teasingly and Angela blushed brightly.

"I don't know… he hasn't ask me to or anything, but I'd like him to be." she mumbled shamefully. Rayanne laughed loudly at the childishness of her answer.

"Didn't ask you? He doesn't have to stupid. This isn't high school where you wait for him to come take your hand in the hallway to make it official. You decide whether he is or not". Angela avoided her eyes and picked at the small crumbs on the table.

"I guess" she said quietly, still feeling a little unsure as to where they stood, but she could figure that out later.

"Can we talk about something else" she whined a little. Rayanne shrugged apathetically, predicting Angela would want to change the subject when it cut too close to the bone.

"Like what?"

"Like when are they going to finish the post-production on your movie?" Angela said a bit more cheerfully. Rayanne huffed a little in frustration because that was the question she'd been asking for weeks. It was a little bit of a sore point really.

"They're saying early January now, if we're lucky. It's a fucking nightmare" she replied glumly.

"Oh…..sorry I brought it up then" Angela said sheepishly. Rayanne gave her a half smile and shook herself free from her momentary irritation

"What about you? Are the studio thinking about adapting the next book?" Rayanne said a little less gloomily. Angela glowed in delight at the question.

"Yeah the first one went so well they want to shot the next few books back to back". Rayanne's eyebrows rose in surprise. She knew Driving Lessons had been a success ,but had no idea the studio was so still so invested in the venture. Angela looked at her more seriously .

"Actually thank you for bringing that up. I need you to ask Brian to have a look at the contract I had for the first film. We're renegotiating things to maybe get a better share on the returns and I need his advice."

"Don't worry, I'll get him to help out" Rayanne replied warmly.

Angela gave her a smile of thanks.

"So ,you never really explained properly….how exactly did you and Jordan end up writing a song?" Rayanne said almost in disbelief. Angela's grin grew wide and proud.

"Well…"

Jordan pulled on a fresh pair of jeans as he finished drying himself off. After his heavy session on the machines he'd been in a dire need of a shower, and now once more free of perspiration he felt human again. The exertion had done him wonders and for the first time, in a long time he could actually think straight. In fact he realised with a start there was something he'd been meaning to talk to Jason about. His thoughts and days had been filled solely with Echelon and Angela, that he'd been neglecting his fatherly duties a little lately. Grabbing a t-shirt from his closet and his favourite kicks, Jordan made his way to Jason's room determined to fulfil one of his ignored obligations today. There was another hour to kill before the web cast anyway.

Jason was sitting at his desk on his laptop, his school books strewn across the room. He didn't hear Jordan enter his room because of the headphones he had on, his attention was caught my something he was watching on the small LCD screen. Jordan could hear the faint sound of a familiar melody seeping out from the headphones, he paused for a moment to place it but couldn't. Jason yelped and nearly jumped out of his skin when Jordan tipped him on the shoulder, the phones flying off his head as he whipped around. He quickly turned back to stop the song playing on the computer, his face glowing a bright pink hue.

"Sorry for scaring you" Jordan with a small laugh as Jason's breathing returned to normal. "It's ok" his son replied uncomfortably. Jordan looked at him in curiosity, confused by his son's strange behaviour.

"What were you looking at?" Jordan asked with a friendly smile, not wanting to put Jason's guard up. The boy reached back and closed his laptop down.

"Nothing, I was just listening to some weird, creepy song Rayanne suggested for my English assignment." Jason said absent-mindedly, avoiding his father's eyes.

"Right" Jordan said, understanding immediately that Miss Graff had probably suggested something totally inappropriate. He could deal with that another time.

"So…if you're not doing anything that's important right now , I need you to come down to the garage with me," Jordan said hopefully. Jason shrugged , not knowing what was up Jordan's sleeve. He'd basically been banned from going anywhere near any type of vehicle since the accident ,so he was curious as to what exactly they were going to do down there since none of Jordan's cars needed work as far as he knew.

"I'm free now" Jason said reluctantly. Jordan nodded "Good, let's go then."

Jordan was a little disappointed when they passed through the kitchen again to find that Rayanne and Angela had moved somewhere else to talk. He quickly shook himself out of it and remained in good spirits with Jason beside him in the elevator. As the door dinged loudly, the familiar and comforting smell of oil and grease filled their noses. Jordan breathed in deeply, savouring the scent happily when they stepped into the parking lot.

"You know this smell always reminds me of Saturday afternoons when I was in high school. I always spent them tinkering with cars" Jordan sighed breezily.

"Wow you lived a very boring existence" Jason said dryly, with a mocking smirk.

"If only buddy, some of the biggest stunts you've ever pulled seem pretty tame in comparison to what I did back then" Jordan retorted with a grin.

"Like what?" Jason said with genuine interest.

"Just stuff, maybe I'll tell you one day when you're less impressionable." Jordan smirked.

Jason pouted in disapproval but did not push his luck, he was still on thin ice since his last spectacular bout of less than exemplary behaviour. He'd only very recently been allowed to go see Beth again past school hours. Jason had been grounded for two weeks after getting detention for cutting French class, his excuse had been his lack of interest or need for the European language. Angela's response to this slim justification had been swift and immediate, so now he had a French tutorial every Monday to stimulate his mind and skill set. So far he still hated it, but under the threat of an allowance cut ,had decided to be cooperative.

"So….what are doing down here?" Jason asked in a monotone, boredom already starting to take hold.

"Follow me please." Jordan said bluntly not giving anything away, because Jason was not going to be happy when he saw what he had in store for him.

They walked to the other end ,past the small collection of cars and came to a stop beside what could only be described as a wreck of a car. The body was dented all over and there were small patches of rust through out the bonnet and doors. It took Jason a moment to realise that it was almost the exact same model and make as his old car , the red of the body though a couple of shades darker. The neglected Plymouth roadster looked sad and pathetic amongst the beauty and splendour of the other cars. It almost made Jason feel sorry for it in a strange way.

"Emm….. why are you showing me this?" Jason said perplexed.

"Because I want you to fix it up" Jordan relied simply. Jason eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

"What?" he said completely baffled.

"I thought you'd want a car for when you finally got your licence, so I got you one…again" Jordan said without a trace of humour in his voice.

"Yeah….but ….this is a piece of junk." Jason said in disbelief.

"The engine will run fine after a little work, all this car needs is a little love and, with a small effort, it'll be great." Jordan said seriously. Jason still looked at him in frustrated bewilderment.

"But I don't want it, I don't have time to tackle a project this big" he complained.

Jordan had been expecting this reaction, he just shrugged indifferently.

"Fine, but that just means you won't have a car for when you finally do want one."

Jordan sighed as he wiped some dust and dirt of the once great muscle car.

"What do you mean?" Jason said fearfully as a small realisation hit him.

"I'm not getting you another car until you turn 21. You completely destroyed the last one ,so if you want to drive before then, you're going to fix up this old girl." Jordan said with a smile as he gave the bonnet a light smack with his hand.

Jason's eyes narrowed and a sudden rush of anger filled him.

"So this is a punishment, I thought you said what happened wasn't my fault!" he yelled, throwing his hands up in the air.

"What happened to your mother and that couple was not your fault, but doing something stupid like driving without a license to impress a girl is your fault" Jordan said in a low and firm voice.

"But this isn't a punishment" he said softer and more persuasively "it's a lesson in taking responsibility for your actions. Fixing what you broke… technically." Jason's face darkened in annoyance, feeling totally unjustly saddled with this lump of a junkyard reject.

"This is not fair" he growled "it's not even my car!".

Jordan laughed slightly.

"No it's not, but your car was so smashed to pieces it looked more like tin can then a motor vehicle. This is as closest to Red as I could get."

Jason scowled and pouted visibly.

"This is going to take months, my time is already so stretched with school, Beth and the band…and I finally got the green light from the doctor this week to start baseball again ."

Jordan gave him a smirk "You're a smart kid, I'm sure you'll figure it out."

Jason exhaled loudly in exasperation

"Why can't you be a normal musician dad and buy me a Lexus like they do on Sweet Sixteen." he groaned. Jordan cocked an eyebrow at him before answering.

"Because I'm teaching you to respect the things you own and not treat them like they're disposable, I got Red when I was 15 in a worse condition then this is and I busted my ass getting it running again. I loved that car and you'll love this one too". Jason gave him a withering look.

"You're kind of neglecting the fact that you also were dirt poor then and we're not now." Jordan frowned at his comment, not liking it one bit.

"Money doesn't last forever Jason and it certainly doesn't make you happy. Bringing this car back from the dead will give you more satisfaction then me buying you some new shiny, expensive convertible. It'll keep you grounded" he said resolutely. Jason shrugged and did not look at Jordan, but he could see there was no way around this. His father was digging his heels in and there was nothing he could do to dissuade him. Jason didn't like it ,but knew he had to give up.

"Fine I'll fix the stupid thing, but I'll need some help" he moaned. Jordan smiled arrogantly, knowing he'd won the battle.

"And I always help you if I'm not busy. But you're repairing it." he replied more happily. Grabbing a wrench from a nearby tool box he handed it to Jason.

"You can start by taking out that leaky radiator, there are some new parts in those boxes by the Porsche." Jason groaned, but took the wrench grudgingly as Jordan lifted the bonnet. As he leaned over the engine, Jordan began to walk away.

"Wait where are you going?" he whined.

Jordan gave him a wicked grin "I'm busy." . He then turned and went into the elevator still grinning, while Jason went back to removing the radiator mumbling curses under his breath.

"…..so Shane how has this record compared to the making of the other albums?" the interviewer asked from his chair in the studio across town. The band members looked amongst themselves in front of the laptop. The web cast had been going well so far and a sense of harmony had returned between the three friends. Shane glanced at Jordan before he answered.

"I guess….our lives have changed so much in the past few months, it isn't a surprise that it has altered our music and our approach to it in a small way."

Robbie sighed a little as he too put forth his thoughts.

"I think with this record it was the first time, we really had an epicentre or a singular place that we wrote and recorded. We really put down roots this year in New York and I would say it's influenced this new album a lot."

"And what about you Jordan, I'm sure what's happened in fairly recent times would have really been a factor in your writing" the journalist said pointedly, turning his attention to the person whose answer most people secretly wanted.

The reluctant front man cleared his throat a little uncomfortably as he sat forward.

"Eh….yeah this year has brought with some insanely massive changes, I mean I have a kid now, it would be weird if my outlook on the world wasn't different?". He gave the interviewer a small proud smile as he finished speaking.

"That awful accident a couple of months ago must have played a part too in the feeling and themes of the project?" the guy suggested. Jordan frowned but didn't answer, more than a little pissed the journalist had brought that up. Shane could see Jordan's brewing tantrum and took it upon himself to diffuse the impending situation.

"It was such an intense and horrific time, how could it not. It just made us so much more thankful for life and everything we have, and we hope that message comes across to our fans". Jordan gave Shane a silent thanks and swallowed his temper, his easy manner regained.

"Really that experience made me realise how precious and short life is and that….even if we're afraid of something we should never be too frightened to reach out and grab it. Once you win the war within yourself almost anything is possible." Jordan added calmly. The TV journalist seemed happy with the answer and nodded in approval.

"And how is Angela Chase doing?" the presenter asked, not being able to let the issue rest there.

"Better." Jordan said with a guarded smile and did not add anything. Shane gave him a smirk and Jordan returned it with a sly wink.

Sensing he was not going to get anything further from this subject, the presenter moved on.

"So when can we expect this new album to be released?"

"Well…we're having the official launch party Halloween night with a limited release of the record till midnight and then the album hits stores and Itunes the week after." Robbie said happily.

"That's just around the corner, are you guys finished?" the interviewer said in surprise. Shane shot Jordan a look and they shared a wry grin.

"We're still fine tuning at the moment" Jordan said with a laugh. The interviewer checked his next question on the card and frowned.

"There's been rumours circulating fans on Twitter and Facebook ,of a song co-written with Angela Chase being included on the track list. Is there any truth to this?" Jordan eyes widened, while Shane scratched his head . The band shared a quick look before answering, none of them sure how the secret had gotten out. Jordan considered that maybe Jason had said something to one of his close friends and the rumour had built from there, or so he hoped. They had only recorded the song properly the day before.

"The truth is…you'll have to wait till the album is released to find that out" Jordan replied with a mysterious glint in his eyes. The interviewer rolled his eyes in a friendly way and moved onto something else, the rest of the conversation flowing smoothly and without a hitch.

Angela was brimming with frenzied anticipation the next day as walked the small distance across the flagstones to the stairs and up to the studio. She'd taken Rayanne's suggestion and gone to Dr. Ross, telling her physician she was attending a once in a life time yoga seminar and desperately needed a couple of hours without pain. She felt awful for lying to the lovely woman, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Practically skipping up the steps with only the minimum usage of her crutch, Angela did not regret her actions when she spotted Jordan through the glass. He was sitting by the mixing desk, his eyes set on the monitor listening back to a recorded track. Her heart leaped and her entire body burned as he turned and saw her, a sexy grin stretching across his face as he gazed out to her. She smiled back and pulled open the door, her eyes never leaving his.

"Hey!" he said beaming at her, swivelling around in his chair to face her "I thought you were at the doctor's office" . Jordan felt his blood run cold as he saw a flicker of fire behind her soft green eyes, a seductive smirk replacing her warm smile.

"I was" she replied huskily as approached him, slowly leaning the crutch against the desk and walking the short distance to him. Stopping just in front of his chair, she leaned down and took his face between her hands. Jordan's breath hitched a little and his eyes widened , completely taken aback by her sudden confidence. Her mood and intentions were very clear even to his often clueless brain.

"But I'm back now" Angela spoke barely above a whisper, leaning down and kissing him with more insistent passion than she had since the night of the storm. When he responded almost immediately, Angela smiled boldly against his mouth and moved brazenly onto her next plan of action. Not breaking the contact of their bruising lips ,she lower herself onto his lap until she straddled him, her legs encircling his lower abdomen comfortably. Jordan could feel his temperature rising as her pert ass settled just over his crotch. It was as his groin started to react to the pressure of her pressing against him, that his brain finally kicked back into life. Taking her by the shoulder's he pushed her of him just enough to free his mouth.

"Angela….what are you doing?" he said breathlessly with a bemused smile. Angela arched an eyebrow at him a gave a laugh.

"I thought that would be perfectly obvious. " she purred, moving her mouth to the exposed skin of his neck. Jordan's thoughts were getting fuzzier as his pulse began to race, the blood draining from his head all too easily.

"You know if you don't stop this, I'm not gonna be able to control myself." he said tightly, thoroughly enjoying the sensation of her nipping at him.

" I was sort of counting on it" she replied with a devious smirk as she moved away from his neck to look at his face .

"Please don't be a tease, I'm already way too frustrated to function already. I don't think I could survive you getting me worked up for nothing" Jordan said with a childish pout.

"I'm not here to tease you dumbass, I'm here to jump your bones" Angela whispered suggestively, her eyes flashing again with immoral determination. Jordan stared at her in confusion, his brow knotted in an uncomprehending frown.

"But what about your…." he began.

"When I was at the doctor's, she gave me a shot of something. And let's just say, for the next two hours I'm all yours, in every possible way" Angela hummed in his ear . Jordan's eyes widened and he was filled with a sudden rush of excitement the moment he realised what she was implying. Angela leaned down and gave him another heated kiss, grinding her hips into him and Jordan couldn't believe his luck. He was never so thankful for the wonders of pharmaceuticals then at that second. But as her hands immediately drifted to his pants and started to pull at his belt buckle, a wave of panic hit him hard like a freight train.

"Angela wait, slow down. Do you really want to just do it here, right this second?" he managed to gasp out in disbelief, pushing her away again. Angela pulled back completely and frowned at him

"I thought you'd like the idea" she said huffily " whatever happens, happens. Right?". Jordan couldn't believed after all the months of waiting, and how hot she was making him, he was about to turn her offer down. Because the proposal was ever so tempting, even the fact she was propositioning him in the first place was enough to send his nerves wild.

"Normally I would, but…." he stuttered insecurely, the proximity of her clouding his senses.

"But what? Give me one good reason why not?" she said a little more annoyed by his rejection.

"This place is completely made of glass, some will see us" Jordan mumbled quickly, unable to find a better excuse. Angela snorted loudly at his attempts.

"Like what, a passing plane? Patty's out till nine and Jason's gone to Joey's for night, we're all alone" she said persuasively, but Jordan did not relax. He avoided her eyes as he struggled to find a reason good enough to stop her before he reached the point of no return and he was putty in her hands.

"Still I'm uncomfortable with how….exposed the space is" Jordan said unconvincingly. Angela looked at him in incredulity.

"Exposed? This coming from the guy who tried to deflower me in the back of his car in BROAD daylight". Jordan just shrugged, the real reason just on the tip of tongue. He'd wanted to convince her to take the action downstairs before he was forced to tell the truth or she noticed the cause for his reticence. Because when she did, Angela was going to be royally embarrassed.

"Jordan, what is going on? What's wrong?" she said irately. Jordan leaned his head against the back of the chair as he looked up at her apologetically.

"Robbie's in the sound booth behind us." Jordan said remorsefully.

Angela's heart stopped dead and her breathing hitched as she digested what he'd said, her eyes wide in shock. Her head whipped up and she searched with panic directly behind them. Angela's face drained of colour when she spotted Robbie looking back at her with an amused smirk. He gave her a little wave and Angela sent him back a quick, watery smile, before ducking down behind the chair, and burying her face in Jordan's shirt. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen Robbie, too focused on Jordan to notice her surroundings. Angela thought if ever there was a time she needed a rewind button, this would have been the perfect moment.

"Oh god he saw the whole thing didn't he. Why didn't you tell me we had an audience?" she groaned into his chest, dying of embarrassment. Jordan stiffened as he braced himself to tell her the worse news.

"That's not all. The laptop on the desk has been broadcasting us live to the bands website" Jordan said unhappily. Angela rose her head slowly back up to meet his eyes.

"Please tell me you're fucking kidding" she choked out. Jordan looked at her guiltily and shook his head.

"Then why the hell didn't you stop me" she cried, covering her face with her hands. Jordan reached out and pulled in close to him.

"I tried to, but you were being really persistent in distracting me" he said with a chuckle. Angela pushed against him to free herself of his grasp crossly, she slid off his lap with her cheeks now cherry in colour.

"I'm going to go before I publicly humiliate myself any further " she muttered, unable to look Jordan in the face. He gazed back at her in obvious disappointment, seeing her quickly shut down and retreat back into her own shell. Whatever had driven her to act so impulsively was quickly draining from her body and now was being replaced by a huge sense of discomfort. Jordan reached out grabbed her hand before she could bolt.

"Stay, just wait a minute" Jordan said softly, begging her not to cut and run with his eyes.

"Jordan I just made a complete idiot out of myself and you, in front of possibly thousands of people" she said groaned, but made no real attempt to leave. Jordan stood up still holding her hand, knowing all she needed was a little reassurance and they could get back on track.

"It was only a kiss, not a sex tape sweetie" he said with a relaxed grin, catching her on the chin. He kissed her cheek, and a faint smile flashed across her mouth.

"Just give me a second to fix this" he said convincingly. When she nodded in reluctant agreement ,he let go of her and wandered over to the mixing desk.

"Eh…..I'm going to call it a day" he said through the mic to Robbie. His friend raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a big shit-eating grin.

"Why am I not surprised?" he mouthed back.

Angela stayed staring at the floor , her face still pinkish in colour when Robbie came out of the recording space.

"Something has certainly perked you up anyway" he said deliberately, as his eyes flicked down to Jordan's obvious semi hard-on sticking out of his jeans. Jordan blushed and covered it with his hands, but gave Robbie a withering look.

"Just go home and annoy your wife fuckface" Jordan said dryly. Robbie smirked and walked towards the door. Jordan shut down the laptop at the other end, deleting whatever video footage had been recorded. Therefore ensuring anyone that had seen glimpses of their intimate moment ,wouldn't be able to repost it somewhere else.

"Always a pleasure to see you Angela" Robbie said sardonically as he passed her "you kids have fun and play safe." Angela winced as he finally left.

"I'm never going to live this down am I " she asked shamefully. Jordan wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Just be glad Robbie caught us and not Shane." he said soothingly.

"Believe me, I'm thankful for small miracles." Angela sighed wearily, holding onto Jordan loosely, comfortably warm in his arms.

"The web cast is gone too, so stop worrying "he said quietly, his words had the immediate affect as she relaxed against him. Jordan pulled back a little to look at her better.

"So…." he began, a sinful smirk forming on his lips

"How long did you say that shot in your calf will last?". Angela's embarrassed pout dissipated as the fire started to creep back into her eyes. She smiled at him coyly, her shame forgotten and replaced with more wicked thoughts.

"Two hours" she said demurely. Jordan gave her a seductive grin.

"Then we better hurry up and take advantage of the opportunity." Angela reached up and stroked his soft cheek ,giving him a smouldering look.

"I couldn't agree more" she said throatily . In that second Jordan felt so very tempted to take her right there on the mixing desk, but his conscience stopped him. They were going to do this the right way this time ,unlike what had happened in Three Rivers. She deserved more, and this time she was going to receive it.

"Follow me" he said softly taking her by the hand again. Then sending her look that made Angela's knees shake and gut do flips in anticipation, he led them out of the studio and towards the inevitable.

As soon as they crossed the threshold of Jordan's room, he took his chance to initiate the action this time. Angela barely had time to close the door and admire his room before he pressed her against the hard wood and kissed her voraciously . His enthusiasm took Angela by surprise and made her breathless, Jordan hadn't made the first move so fervently since they were teenagers. His mouth attacked hers relentlessly until she could do nothing but melt into him and succumb completely to his pace and passion. It didn't take long until she caught up with him, matching fire with fire and enjoying every second of it. Her hands snaked up to head and she wrapped her hands in his hair. She was quietly thankfully he hadn't cut it yet as she gripped onto her favourite spot at the back. The soft, silky and familiar feel of it made her purr in added satisfaction. In return Jordan reached down into the limited space and snuck his hands under the band of her pants to the thinly clothed fullness of her ass. Cupping it firmly ,he pulled her groin flush against him. Soon they were both panting heavily at the depth by which they sending each other, every second that passed made them more and more light headed. Angela didn't know how Jordan was able to drive her so insane with the simplest movement of his tongue against hers, but any other thoughts had fled her brain as soon as he touched her. Jordan was all too conscious of how great a kisser Angela was also, as she sucked upon his bottom lip, biting down ever so slightly. His once semi-alert penis now to fully awake, began to throb and ache in his tightening jeans.

The low moan that escaped his mouth sent shivers down Angela's spine and she thrust her hips against his, rubbing off the ever more tumescent bulge in his pants. Jordan groaned in almost pain as he grinded himself into her, pressing her more forcefully against the cool hardness of the door. The handle stuck into Angela's back, throbbing in protest. She whimpered in annoyance and pushed him more aggressively away from her , but followed him with her body a second later to guide him just to the left.

"Sorry" he mumbled in apology, with a slight laugh during the brief second they were separate from each others mouth.

"No talking" she replied, pulling him in again. But the pressure of his lips against hers, increasing felt inadequate for the heat that was building in her area below her abdomen. A thumping need built inside, as an growing wetness pooled between her thighs in expectation, making her increasingly impatient for the next step.

Now more comfortably pressed against the smoothness of the wall, Angela set about freeing Jordan of his pesky clothing. Yanking his shirt up and over his head, Angela drank in the sight of his finely toned torso. She didn't do anything for second but gazed at him in awe. It was in that brief second of stillness ,she realised the truth that had been staring her straight in the face, This beautiful, kind and talented man had given his heart to her for the taking. Out of all the girls in the big bad world, he had chosen her. Jordan Catalano was all hers, body and soul and no one else's.

Running her hands upon the hard muscle of his abdomen and chest she smiled gleefully before leaning down to kiss him just above the heart, cementing it as hers forever more. Jordan grunted at the feeling of her warm lips on his bare chest, shuddering a little in excitement and ecstasy. Angela continued to kiss his chest and shoulders, running her tongue along his hot skin, moving lower until she could trace the planes of his abs with it's tip. Jordan savoured the feeling of it, tensing up in sheer desire and effort as not to reach the end of his tether. Concluding if he had any chance of seeing this all the way through, he had to regain the lead in this little dance. Gently taking her by the cheek, her moved her back up to face him . Angela saw in his endlessly blue eyes a predatory glint that made her knees weak, causing her to submit to his intentions once more. Smiling at her deviously, he kissed the uncovered skin of her neck achingly slow and she mewed like a kitten under his touch. His hands went under her shirt, running his fingers along the sides of her abdomen, then carefully he lifted the material upwards until it practically floated over her head. She was completely at his mercy, so totally caught up in the sensation of his lingering, sensual assault of her neckline that he could do anything he wanted. His skilfully hands kneaded her breasts, running his thumbs in circles firmly along where he knew her nipples were To his great satisfaction, he felt her harden behind the thin material of her bra. Angela bucked her hips against him, a low groan coming from deep within her throat when he removed the remaining item and replaced his mouth where his hand had been. Taking one at a time into his mouth, he sucked at the silky skin of exposed mounds. Angela whimpered loudly, her inner walls starting to expand and contract in frenzied need, driven wild by feel of it all. Switching to the other and running his tongue ever so lightly upon her delicate tip, Jordan nearly made her come right there and then. He could hear it in her breathing, that subtle change in speed. It told him she was his to ravage at his leisure and what more, it was time for them to move the action to the bed. If he didn't, he wasn't quite sure how much longer they could last and he wasn't about to fuck her up against his bedroom wall. This time anyway.

Jordan moved his mouth back up to hers, kissing Angela with an intensity that made them both forget to breath. He pulled her legs upwards and Angela instantly took the hint, securing herself against his hips. Quietly glad that the first stage of their foreplay was over, she clung onto to him like she was drowning in a deep, violent sea. He lifted her away from the wall and back towards his expansive bed, laying them on the soft covers with an obvious smile on his face.

Her breaths were ragged as his full weight pressed against her, his hands running up the length of her naked torso. Angela shimmed herself out her pants and kicked them away to tumble onto the floor below them. Jordan's hands ran up and down her now bare legs with added satisfaction. Angela blushed as his fingers trailed down the raised line of her scar. Jordan felt her stiffen a little as he touched the last mark of her long recovery, and he pulled away to find the unquestionable look of shame in her eyes. She avoided his gaze as she looked down at the angry, red and jagged scar on her right leg, feeling disgusted by it. Jordan followed her eyes and instantly knew what it was she was trying to hide. He leaned down and placed a sweet, tender kiss to the damaged skin to drive the insecurities of her head . Angela was amazed by Jordan's perceptive affection and she smiled at him in happiness, pulling him back towards her to kiss him with all the love and ardour she could muster. Jordan own self confidence rose, proud by his own actions. For once things were perfect.

Angela then went about moving things forward again. Unbuttoning the top of Jordan's jeans she slipped her deft hands inside and passed his boxers. Jordan choked in ecstatic agony as she stroked the length of his cock in even rhythm, cupping his balls expertly tight. He tried with all his might to distract himself from the sudden compulsion to just let go and come in her teasing hands. His thoughts honed in on horrific images, but it was no use, he was getting closer to oblivion.

"Please stop, I can't take it" Jordan groaned. Yet as was predicable for her contrary disposition, she grinned like a she-devil, increasing the speed and pressure of her hand upon his genitals. Jordan let out a low growl of annoyance and desire, reaching down to take her hands out forcefully. He pinned her arms down as she smiled at him smugly. She struggled against his strength for a second before giving him a defiant half- smile.

"If you insist in being bad, I'm going to have to punish you" he said seductively.

"Wow you're that easily overexcited?" she said with a giggle. Jordan blushed a little "With you I am." he said honestly.

"Look….I've had a lot of girls in my time and.." he began, Angela's impish grin left her face and a frown fell across her face.

"Why would you say something like that to me right NOW!" she exclaimed angrily, and Jordan immediately saw his mistake.

"No… that's…. not what I meant" he stuttered as Angela glared at him

"What I mean is…. no one can drive me as crazy as you can and if you don't stop '_exciting' _me I'm going to run out of steam." he said shamefully. Angela's frown softened but her smile didn't quite return.

"I want this to be more than just about sex, I want to see that adorable scrunched up face you make when you come" he said with an enticing smile, running his thumb over the line of her cheekbone.

"But most all I want this to be special" he said faintly "Which means you've got to stop toying with me". Angela's mischievous smirk snapped back on her face for a second, but then a confused look filled her features.

"Your upper thigh is vibrating" she said bewildered. Jordan laughed at the ridiculousness of the statement, mistaking it for some odd euphemism she'd created.

"My what?" he said in amusement. She sat up a little and looked down towards his legs.

"No seriously, there's something vibrating" she said evenly. Jordan suddenly felt it as his propped himself up, Angela's legs remaining tight against his sides. Reaching into the pocket of his low slung pants, he retrieved his offending blackberry. He huffed in annoyance when he saw Shane's number flashing on the screen rudely.

"You've got to be kidding me" he muttered and pressed the answer button.

"What?" he said edgily.

"Whoa…just wanted to say hey" Shane said defensively.

"Alright .Hello, now fuck off I'm busy" Jordan replied bluntly, hanging up and tossing the phone over his shoulder. Angela burst out into a short bout of giggles as it thudded off the floor. Jordan laughed lightly too, but it quickly died as he looked down at her.

She lay there underneath him, her face so effervescent in stark contrast to the dark interior of his room. Her beautiful eyes watched him affectionately, so deeply green in the low light and lips curled up into a serene, faint smile. He felt his heart expand to an unimaginable size as he gazed tenderly at her. Clad only in her thin cotton panties, so comfortably bare and flushed pink in front of him, he was hypnotised .There she was, his sweet and innocent Angela, never looking so lovely to him then in this present state. Angela felt concerned when a sad look seemed to flicker in his eyes.

"What? Is something wrong" she whispered . Jordan shook his head slowly.

"No….it's just…. you are so damn beautiful sometimes, it hurts to look at you." he said honestly, reaching down to caress her cheek. Angela's own heart thumped harder and felt as though it was going to break with pressure of how much it grew in that instant. In that moment ,all the times they had broken each others heart was erased and they were both finally whole again. In that instance she remembered why she would always love Jordan. Moving her own hand up to his face, Angela ran her fingers along the smooth warmth of his smiling lips, tracing their delicate line.

"What did I ever do in life to deserve you?" she said contentedly. Jordan leaned back towards her, the full length of his body pressing against her.

"Exist" he said huskily before cover her mouth with his.

Despite the little interruption, they found their rhythm again easily, his hands slipping down to her increasingly damp underwear. His thumb brush against her

sensitive underside cruelly, eliciting a long moan of longing from her throat. Using her free hand and then her legs, Angela removed his jeans and boxers totally. Her long fingers then found their way back up to his hair, entwining themselves roughly as Jordan's own fingers continued to play with her clitoris Angela could feel Jordan's rigid head laying just outside her cloth covered entrance, brushing off it with tantalising power. She whined in desperate need, rubbing herself against the tip to urge him to take the final leap. But Jordan wasn't ready just yet to consummate their nights passions, he had one more game to play .

Slipping his hands under the sides of her panties, he slid them off her narrow hips. He shifted his whole body downward, kissing from the valley between her breasts to the warm down of her pubic area. She gasped in surprise as his wet mouth lapped up the moistness that had formed in between her legs, never had Jordan gone down on her.

"Oh fuck, whatever you just did, please don't stop" Angela cried out. Everything throbbed inside her, making her hips jump in the deepest rapture. Angela gripped his head harder as his tongue ran up and around the folds of her inner layers, a primal moan escaping her mouth. The intoxicating taste of her , drove him to be move aggressive and adventurous in his performance. Jordan's ego inflated as he heard her groaning his name over and over again, pushing him to move faster and deeper into her with the agile movements of his tongue. She was getting close again. The motion of his tongue picking up speed as she became hotter and hotter under the skin till he could feel it burning, scorching him too.

"Jordan….I can't stand it any longer. Please..I need you now" she gasped in ragged breaths, pulling on his hair. It was all the invitation he needed, he rose back above her and crashed back against her mouth. She tasted the intimate flavour of herself on his tongue at the same as he plunged himself into her waiting core. Angela bit into his lip involuntarily at the toe-curling force of it. Jordan began the steady, but powerful tempo inside her, driving in as far as he could go. They rocked together, their hearts racing faster than humanly possible and their bodies slick with sweat. Jordan bit at her neck, while Angela's eyes rolled back into her head in blissful desolation. While the sex had all the fire and intensity of their last encounter, Angela could sense in her soul the motivation this time was not the simple release of tension. This time it was an expression of love, obvious yearning and newfound joy. It was still a blatant act of possession, but tinged with an underlying tenderness and need to show affection in its most pure form.

Her thighs pressed into his sides as he pushed with great effort, her already wavering resistance quickly disappearing when she felt the bubbling of an impending explosion inside herself. Ticking away like a bomb, she was terrified of the potent energy it would release. Jordan too was struggling to keep his composure as Angela dug her fingers into his back and hair, gripping it sadistically. What would have been a total turn off from any other woman, the uncontrollable antagonism of it and sexual violence, was passionate and perfect from Angela.

Placing her feet upon the mattress and lifting her hips ever so slightly, Angela changed the angle of entry and with each new stroke, Jordan hit her most sensitive area spot, causing her to gasp. Her walls tightened around him as she reached closer and closer to the edge, moans of his name getting louder with each thrust until she was almost yelling. Jordan's face was scrunched up in strain ,his teeth grinding heavily in his jaw, knowing he only needed to hold on a few seconds longer . The spectacular end was in sight. Angela opened her eyes and locked them with Jordan's blazing blue ones, seeing the love and lust he had for her in one glance. In that instance they exchanged something that couldn't be explained with words, it was an instance of the pure connection of two splintered souls. An instance where bodies and hearts merged from two separate entities into one. And it was in that tense second that Angela let go and the flood she'd been trying to keep back broke through her defences, making her shake and squirm beneath Jordan as the quaking orgasm took hold. He exclaimed in surprise as she screamed his name and arched upwards suddenly, her eyes open wide and boring into his from the obvious shock waves emanating from within. Realising that she'd reached the end, his own defences fell down and he saw stars as he finally climaxed. Nothing had felt so momentous and overwhelming in his entire life. Jordan collapsed against her with a strained grunt, his forehead resting on hers as he stroked her hair trying to catch his breath. His brain was fuzzy, but as his heart slowed his mind was fully free of worry and distraction for the first time in months. And for once everything was clear, all that mattered was the woman that lay quietly shaking still underneath him. She slowly stopped, her hands going slack in his hair and they both drew a contented breath. And then there was stillness.

They lay there, incapable of moving from their present position, totally spent .

"That was…." Jordan began, his head still resting on hers.

"Unbelievable" she finished breathlessly with her eyes closed tightly, suppressing the sudden compulsion to cry in happiness. She didn't want to open them again in case all that she'd experienced had been a wonderful dream, and the restful afterglow of what had occurred disappeared in an cruel instant. Jordan withdrew himself reluctantly from inside her warm centre and kissed the rosy skin of her lower jaw. He thought about saying he loved her, but decided it was a phrase better uttered away from the earth shattering atmosphere of rigorous love-making. It would be more pure and sincere said at a less frenzied and hormonally charged time.

He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him until her head rested upon his chest. His reached down and pulled the covers over their cooling bodies. Jordan was embarrassed to admit it ,considering he took pride in his masculine virility, but he felt exhausted. Yet he was totally sated, ecstatic by the feeling of her slim frame wrapped around him. Angela had originally intended to engage in further erotic acts, but she found as her head sat neatly against Jordan's chest, she wanted nothing more than to entwine herself with him and sleep deeply. The steady beating of his quickened heartbeat lulling her into a satisfied daze.

She watched him in wonder as he stared off with a self-satisfied smile on his face. So thankful for whatever celestial force that had given her such a gift as this. Jordan Catalano, wanton sex god, totally at her mercy. She stretched up and gave the corner of his mouth a chaste kiss. Jordan kissed the tip of her nose in return, making her beam goofily at him. Her teeth brilliantly white in the dark.

"Remind me to give Dr. Ross a gift basket or something the next time I see her" Jordan said happily gazing down adoringly, Angela snorted in laughter as she nestled in closer to him, her eyes shutting again.

"Believe me….I'm giving her some kind of reward for this too" she giggled "even if she still thinks she gave me the injection for Yoga". Jordan ran his hand up the length of her bare back, smiling gleefully.

"Naughty girl lying to your doctor" he tutted. Angela shrugged and remained smiling silently.

"You don't want to maybe go again or…. " he said trailed off. Angela's eyes opened again and she looked at him with interest. She could see in his eyes his was totally at ease and blissfully happy, but very clearly worn out.

"Later , I think we both need a little rest before we try do that again" she chuckled. Jordan smiled and sighed contentedly .

"Ok if you're sure". Angela nodded and snuggled in to the crook between his neck and shoulder, placing her arm possessive across his stomach. Jordan followed suit, resting his cheek against the top of her head and pulling her in towards him . They both realised it was the first time, since they were very young that they'd lain beside one another without that underlying tension of frustrated sexual need. The experience had felt much more akin to their first time together as infatuated teens, then the ferocious, angry tumble they'd had

months before. It was like they'd come full circle, only this time there was no threat of brutal separation. The reassuring thumping of Jordan's heart quickly sent Angela to sleep ,and he too relaxed fully into a dreamless slumber, the wonderful sensation of her naked body pressed against his so naturally.


	19. Closer Part 2

_**Without any need for further instruction…..part 2.**_

Angela's eyes flicked open, and it took her a moment to readjust to the now total black of the room, only small streaks of light coming from the closed blinds. She turned her head to look at the clock on Jordan's bedside table. Her eyebrows rose up sharply in surprise as she saw the vibrant display read 1.30am, they'd been sleeping for five hours straight without meaning too. Jordan's chest was still rising up and down as he clung to her in a deep sleep. Angela shifted a little in his grip and to her great disappointment her leg throbbed sorely in protest, the effects of the muscle relaxant now long gone.

'So much for a second round' Angela thought bitterly. She was now fully awake, the distant sound of a lone police siren and late night taxi disrupting the relative quiet of the night.

Her now fully adjusted eyes scanned the room, taking it in properly for the first time. It was typical of a single man, posters of Scarface, Pulp Fiction and Dirty Harry, the epitome of masculine cinema, hung on the walls. The furniture was dark brown and sturdy, filled with pictures of friends and family, while the large flat screen TV had a sleek game console underneath it. She was surprised to see it was neat and organised, the floor free of anything except the clothes they'd shed earlier. In the corner stood Jordan's most prized possession on a stand, the black and worn Fender guitar he'd started his song writing career on. The same one he'd given to Jason as a loaner on her birthday.

She turned her head back to the bedside table and was pleased to see a single framed photo upon it. It was of Jason and Jordan play fighting in the park a couple of weeks before, their faces in mid laughter and their identical eyes shining. She had taken it when they were distracted as she sat with her mother reading under a tree. That day had been a perfect and rare family day in the last of the September sun. She'd given it to Jordan on a whim a few days ago, and was elated to see he liked it so much. Sometimes it was easy for her to forget, he too was a proud parent.

Jordan exhaled loudly below her and her attention was drawn back to her dosing paramour. She gazed at him, the perfect profile of his perpetually youthful face, and wondered how she'd gotten so lucky. Even with his hair a dark, knotted mess from her hands running through it, and his open mouth speckled with drool, he was beautiful. She propped herself up on her elbows to look at him better, her eyes roving over his slightly flushed features in their tranquil state. If she was being totally honest his eyes were her favourite part of his face, but she'd always carried a particular affection for his slightly turned up, button nose and oddly too pink lips. They were so adorably and distinctly his, that no other person could carry them off with such success. Not wanting to wake him but unable to stop herself, she ran her finger tips along his face softly. In some recess of her consciousness she remembered doing it before at a much more emotionally negative time.

Jordan stirred under her light touch, breaking out of his slumber. An instinctive fear gripped his heart as he began to wake up, like he was about to lose something irreplaceable . As his eyes snapped open, for the briefest second he was all alone in his childhood room, discovering Angela gone and a small tearstained letter on his pillow. But as he took in a sharp breath and turned his head to the left he was met by the warm gaze of Angela, a lazily and faint smile on her lips. He immediately relaxed. She was still right next to him and had no intention of fleeing his bed, her fingers resting just on the edge of his jaw.

"Sorry" she whispered sheepishly "I didn't mean to wake you".

"Is ok." he slurred, his tongue awkward from sleep. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"What time is it"

"Just gone 1.40" Angela said breezily.

"Wow. I guess I was more tired than I thought" he said with a surprised smile, propping himself up to face her. She watched him with amused eyes as he looked at her roguishly.

"Hi." he said brightly, his sleepiness forgotten.

"Hi" she said coyly, feeling a little shy now after their private encounter.

"Guess what?" he said with a grin.

"What?" she replied in slight wariness.

"We had sex" he whispered loudly, his eyes comically wide. Angela snorted noisily and rolled her eyes at him.

"Really, I like, totally forgot that " she said sarcastically. Jordan grinned and leaned forth to press a quick kiss to her mouth.

"Well I for one will never forget it. Like ever." he said honestly. Angela placed her head against his happily. "Yeah, me neither" she said dreamily.

"So….I guess it's too late now to… you know…do it again" he said a more hesitantly. Angela nodded seriously.

"Unfortunately whatever the Doc gave me has worn off , it doesn't hurt really but I don't want to take the chance." Jordan sighed in disappointment but gave her a smile.

"Well I think _this _can keep me satisfied for a short time".

"Great, because good things _come_ to those who wait" she said pointedly.

He sniggered for a second and then lay back down against the pillows, staring at her fixatedly. Snaking an arm around her he slowly dragging her down on top of him, kissing her sweetly. She pulled back and gave him another wide, beaming smile, resting her head on her arm as she gazed at him.

"I still can't believe you tried to seduce me in the studio" he laughed suddenly.

"Shut up, it was the most embarrassing moment of my life" she pouted giving his chest a light smack.

"At least you have a story to tell Rayanne next time you see her." he grinned.

"I'm not saying a word to her about it and neither are you" Angela huffed "she'll never let it go if she finds out". Jordan shrugged and then crossed his heart to show his lips were sealed.

They stared at one another for the longest time without saying anything, just basking in the happy bubble they found themselves. But as Angela lost herself in Jordan's peaceful, blue eyes, something began to eat at her. Something that had been plaguing her mind ever since her conversation with Rayanne. Now that they'd actually taken the next step in their complicated relationship, what were they to one another, how did they define themselves now?

Friends with benefits? Casual sex partners? Or scariest of all, actual partners?

Jordan noted with concern the darkness that grew behind her eyes, her hidden anxiety rising to the surface.

"Angela, you ok?" he said with concern. She thought about lying so as not to ruin the glorious happiness she'd finally found, but it was better to meet the problem before it grew into a bigger issue.

"Jordan what are we?" she asked uncertainly. The question threw him and Jordan looked at her puzzled. She was searching his eyes with a vulnerability he hadn't seen from her in a very long time, like her entire life hinged upon his answer. It reminded him of the first time she'd asked him to meet her parents, that frantic expectancy that he'd been scared of as a teenager. Now it just made him want to hug her tight and kiss away the insecurities.

"Metaphorically or…?".

"No I mean, what are we to one another? Am I, like, your girlfriend?" there was a hint of desperation in her voice as she looked at him nervously. Jordan realised all she was looking for was a sign of commitment and clarity from him, a signal that all that he'd done for her had not just been a grand scheme to bed her again.

"Well yeah… I want you to be…if you want to be." he answered back openly. Her eyes widened ,as did her smile .

"oh course I do" she exclaimed beaming at him. Jordan smirked arrogantly and his heart did a series of flips in his chest . Her smile was like sunshine to him, making him feel warm and safe as he took in her eager response.

"Well there's your answer, you're my girlfriend. And I was kinda hoping you'd come with me to L.A for the launch party as my date". Angela nodded enthusiastically wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tightly .

"I'd love to." she said overjoyed. There was a loud buzzing and a sudden flash of light from something on the floor near them, disturbing the sweet moment.

"That must be my stupid blackberry." Jordan sighed a little in annoyance

"I'd better check it in case we got anything from Jason". Sitting up Jordan followed the bright light and leaned over Angela to retrieve it from beside their abandoned shoes. Scrolling through the recent messages and missed calls, none of them were important.

"Well that was a waste of time" he said flatly. Turning his attention back to his newly proclaimed girlfriend, he was overtaken by the need to touch her again. Cupping her cheek, he guided her mouth to his with a smile. Her toes curled in satisfaction, never had she been so happy in her entire life. A guttural purr slipped from her busy mouth and Jordan laughed a little.

"I love that sound you make, you know, when you're really enjoying something." Angela's face flushed with delight .

"You did the same thing when you drunk dialled me" he said teasingly. "I listened back to that message over and over again just to hear that raunchy groan you did". The glee Angela felt was instantly replaced by a distinct sense of dread.

"Oh god! I completely forgot I drunk dialled you. What the hell did I say?" she cried out. Jordan's smirk broadened.

"Oh you know. only how you really missed my penis among other things" he said casually.

Angela's face went pale "I did not!" she said sceptically.

"Listen to it if you don't believe me" he said with laugh, brandishing the phone.

"You kept it?" she exclaimed unhappily.

"Yep. It gives me comfort during the long, cold and hard nights without you." he grinned. Angela groaned again and reached for the blackberry.

"Please delete it" she moaned "it's so embarrassing". Jordan shook his head and held it above his head, just out of her grasp.

"Nope, I like it " he said uncooperatively.

"Jooddddaannn" she complained and reached again but he easily dodged her swipe. She climbed on top of Jordan, trying to wrestle him into submission to snatch the phone out of his hand .

"C'mon, this isn't funny. Rayanne deleted the one I sent her and that was so much worse." Angela pouted as they struggled ,with Jordan smirking arrogantly as he managed to maintain the upper hand. Jordan's grin widened ,completely taken aback when he realised what she'd let slip. His nose crinkling as he laughed .

" You sent one to Rayanne too! What did you say? "

Angela winced and cursed herself for blurting her secret to him.

" If I tell you ,will you promise to delete the message." she asked huffily, disentangling herself to look at him pleadingly.

Jordan's eyes glinted at her mischievously "Maybe, depends on how good your story is".

"Fine, but I swear if you tell anyone I'll make you pay" she growled. Jordan gave her a smirk but said nothing. Angela sighed heavily.

"I had a sex dream where you were Indiana Jones ok, apparently there were whips involved " she muttered disgracefully.

"Kinky" Jordan sniggered, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing uncontrollably "We'll have to try that one some time." Angela narrowed her eyes at him.

"If you ever want to have sex with me again, you'll delete that message." she said in a low threatening voice. Jordan's smirk remained on his face, knowing she could never stick to that ultimatum

"I will on one condition" he said cheerfully.

"What?" she said irritably.

"Three little words, eight letters long, say them and I'll do it."

Angela's annoyance slipped a little and she rolled her eyes at him.

"You've been watching Gossip Girl again, haven't you" she said dryly.

"No. And stop trying to change the subject" he said in slight indignation.

"Look, I'm not going to be blackmailed into saying it" Angela said touchily.

"It's not blackmail really. Blackmail implies bad intentions." Jordan said with inescapable logic. Angela huffed loudly unable to argue back ,because he had a point. But she couldn't say it but not because she didn't feel it, but because if she was being honest, she was afraid.

"I said it to you before" she said quietly. Jordan's smirk returned.

"Yeah and as we've established before, you were so drunk you didn't remember saying it". Angela pouted, knowing she was going to lose this battle of wits.

"And you said it to me when I was passed out" Angela grumbled. Jordan could feel he was wearing her down, getting achingly closer to what he desperately wanted to hear.

"But you still heard it." he said smugly "And I said it the night before you let for New York with Patty. Therefore it's still two one to me." Angela groaned and buried her head in the pillows. Jordan grinned and started to tickle her exposed side.

"C'mon say it. I know you want to" he said with a laugh as she squirmed under his fingers.

"Stop! Please" Angela choked out through loud giggles, trying to bat away his fingers without any success. Jordan continued with a widening smile.

"Say it and I'll stop" he said confidently. Angela shook with uncontrollable laughter, tears running down her face.

"Please….Jordan …stop!" she gasped out.

"Say it" he said defiantly, now leaning on top of her as she struggled to wiggle out from below him.

"Fine….I love you" she said in a strangled voice, but Jordan didn't stop tickling her tender sides.

"Sorry didn't catch that" he said teasingly.

"I love you" she said more clearly.

"Just once more" he said with a wicked grin. Angela exhaled loudly in aggravation.

"For the love of God! JORDAN CATALANO I LOVE YOU!" she yelled in the midst of a uncontrollable laugh and his fingers stilled. Angela sighed in relief and caught her breath.

"You're an asshole" she hissed, unable to stop herself from smiling a little. Jordan pressed a kiss to her cheek, looking down at her smugly.

"Yeah but I'm the asshole you love, and what's more, the asshole who loves you" he said with arrogant pride in his voice.

"But that's because I'm a glutton for pain and drama" Angela huffed in exasperation, but her face told a different story. She couldn't really stay pissed at him for any length of time, he was too charming. Especially at times like this.

"I do love you by the way" she said more amiably. Jordan gave her an adorable smile and stroked her cheek. "I know. I just wanted to hear you say it once and for all." He took out the blackberry and pressed a couple of buttons.

"The message is gone as promised" Jordan said gently as he showed her the phone.

"Good" she said grumpily, still feigning bad-temperedness. Jordan gave her a smirk and poked her in her sensitive side, threatening to it tickle again. Her frown deepened for a second before it broke into a playful smile.

"Stop, don't do it again" she whined as she dodged his fingers.

"Ok ….but stop being so frikkin grouchy" he said with a laugh.

"Only if you stop looking at me so self-satisfied." she replied haughtily. Jordan beamed at her.

"I can't, I'm too happy." Angela rolled her eyes at him, but let her anger slip away.

"If you weren't so damn sexy, I would totally kick you out of bed right now." she said jadedly, wrapping her arms around him again.

"Just as well you love me isn't it" he retorted, grinning like a fool.

"Oh fuck off" she blushed before kissing him in defeat.

"I love you too" he said cheekily with a smirk, kissing her back hungrily.

When things began to heat up to the point where their baser instincts were taking over, Angela half-heartedly pushed him off her.

"Sorry….but you're turning me on a little too much" she sighed. Jordan sniggered and rolled off her, propping himself on his elbow.

"Sorry" he said breezily " didn't mean to torment you." She reached up and ran her fingers through his dishevelled hair. As Jordan looked down at her there was something still lying behind her eyes, like a secret was hiding just below the surface. It worried him a little.

"What?" she said in confusion, seeing the subtle change in his gaze.

"You're giving me that look, the one where you really want talk about something but don't know how to bring it up" he said seriously. Angela looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights, totally taken aback by his uncharacteristic astuteness.

"Promise me you won't get mad….." she said quietly. Jordan sat up fully and nodded, bracing himself for whatever she was about to tell him.

"Well…. you know the night of the thunderstorm last week" she started uneasily "I heard you when you asked if maybe I'd stay. I wasn't asleep". Jordan face darkened and he felt a little rejected.. "Oh" he said quietly.

"You just blindsided me and I didn't know how to react" she said shamefully " I was afraid you'd gotten caught up in the moment and I'd make things awkward if I'd said anything." Jordan's face fell a little further.

"I can see how you could have thought that, you know, all things considered" he said clearly hurt.

"Did you though, like, mean it?" Angela asked hopefully. Jordan looked at her with sad eyes.

"Of course I did". Angela's disgrace grew exponentially as she saw how much she'd hurt him.

"For the record, I don't want to leave .I offered Rayanne and Brian my apartment today for the next few months . " Jordan's face brightened a little and his eyes widened.

"Really, you want to stay here?" he asked a little shocked. She smiled in relief as his brewing gloominess disappeared.

"All of this is so new and exciting, but everything is moving so fast I don't want us to get too far ahead of ourselves" she answered honestly. Jordan sighed, knowing deep down she was right.

"How about….you stay here until Rayanne get's her own place and we see where we go from there?" he suggested .

"I like that idea" Angela said happily. The harmonious atmosphere returned between them and Angela could see her answer had placated his anxiety.

"We should really sleep again….it's so late" Angela said softly, leaning against his shoulder. Jordan breathed in deeply, wrapping an arm around her.

"Yeah, but I'm way too wired to sleep now" he said restlessly.

"Me too" Angela sighed.

"Since sex is completely out of the question, what do want to do?" Jordan asked, with a ghost of a smile on his face.

"We could watch a movie, but I'm really not in the mood." Angela said boredly.

A thought struck Jordan as he stroked her head.

"I got an idea, want to go for a drive like we did when we were kids? It's so late no one will probably see us" Jordan asked hopefully. A look of terror crossed her face as she struggled to find an answer. She hadn't been in a car much since the crash, consciously avoiding it to evade the rush of panic she'd feel every time she went near one. Angela knew it was a little irrational for her to feel so afraid of getting in car with him, considering how many times she'd been in Red as a love-struck teen. Jordan had never given her a reason to doubt his competence, even in his reckless youth he'd always been a conscientious driver. Jordan saw in her eyes the uncertainty and fear and it took him a moment to realise why.

"If you're uncomfortable with it, we don't hav…" he began considerately

"No…I trust you." she said firmly "I need to get over this phobia anyway."

Jordan looked at her questioningly, but Angela gave him a reassuring smile.

"Ok then" he said more enthusiastically. He sat up and reached down to the floor to retrieve his pants, while Angela threw back the covers and walked around the room unashamedly exposed to gather her clothes. Jordan swallowed the lump that formed in his throat as he watched her in awestruck surprise. Noticing him staring hungrily, she gave him a coquettish wink as she pulled on her pants.

"You're killing me right now, you know that?" he said in pained tone.

"I'm just keeping you on your toes" she replied wickedly.

"Seriously just killing me" he muttered tearing his gaze away to pull on his jeans and Angela sniggered, secretly elated by his troubled frown.

* * *

The streets were uncharacteristically empty as they moved down 5th avenue and towards East Village in the 3a.m hush. They streaked past the streetlights and closed store fronts in the sturdy red Chevy pick-up, the hum of the engine the only noise in the warm cab. Despite the calming sound of the well-oiled machine's purring ,Angela sat a little stiffly in her seat unable to let go of her lingering anxiety. Her hand gripped Jordan's knee slackly, trying to quell her nerves. When they'd been in the garage she'd been so relieved when Jordan had lead her by the hand to the comfortingly unbreakable Chevy. The car was like a cherry-red tank, growling down the city road with confident power. She been so fixed on overcoming her fear when they'd gotten to the garage, she'd forgotten to ask Jordan about the tarp covered car she'd seen in the corner of the room. She remembered suddenly when they passed a few sheltered convertibles and crossed the fringes of midtown into lower Manhattan.

"Did you get a new car?" Angela said suddenly. Jordan jumped a little as the spell was broken. His attention wavering from the road in front of him for a millisecond to look at her curiously.

"No" he said a shake of his head. Angela gazed at him strangely.

"Then who's car is under the tarp in your garage?" she asked, her eyes questioning him with interest. Jordan smiled as realisation washed over him.

"Oh that…..it's Jason's" he said breezily. Angela scoffed loudly in disbelief as her face went red. She removed her hand from his knee as her hands balled into fists and she prepared herself to yell at him unmercifully. She couldn't understand how he could do something so irresponsible like this again and act so nonchalantly about it. He was in serious trouble. Seeing her building and rightly justified discontentment, Jordan raised his hand to silence her as she opened her mouth to unleash her rage.

"Before you go trying to kill me, the car's a wreck and Jason's fixing it up. It'll take at least a solid year of work till he's able to have it road worthy." Jordan said confidently. Angela shut her mouth again to swallow some of her uncontrollable anger.

"I take it, this was your idea" she said in a low and incensed voice.

"Yeah. It's to teach him to respect what he owns and stop him from treating it carelessly. I also made it very clear that he's not getting another car till he's 21, so this project is his only option." Jordan said a little pleased with himself.

"Why?" she said tightly, her anger still not gone. She could on the other hand, see his point.

"He has to be able to stand on his own two feet and not depend on money like those spoiled brats he goes to school with." Jordan sighed and looked at her seriously. There was still a residual anger at him within Angela for not consulting her about it, but she couldn't argue with him. In fact his plan was sort of genius, not that she was going to give Jordan the satisfaction of knowing that. Angela crossed her arms and stared out the front fuming.

"You have to start telling me about these little ideas you have instead of just doing them. We're a team now remember." she said sulkily, a deep frown on her face. Jordan reached across and pulled one of her hands free. He pressed a kiss to her palm and gave it a squeeze.

"Sorry Angie. It won't happen again." he said sincerely. Her bad temper broke and she relaxed.

"It'll take time for us to get used to this" she said honestly, not solely talking about parental duties. Jordan sighed and gave her a reassuring smirk.

"I know….but we'll adjust." he said with no hesitation in his voice. Angela meet his confident appearance with a faint smile, and for the first time she thought maybe this time around they actually could.

"By the way….what song did Rayanne tell Jason to listen to yesterday for school?" Jordan asked with a smile. .

"Only Nine Inch Nails Closer." she said wryly. Jordan snorted loudly.

"Damn. That girl never ceases to amaze me, she's…what's that word?"

"Incorrigible" Angela suggested with a smirk, and Jordan nodded.

"She's a terrible influence that's for sure." Angela sighed with mock despair. Jordan just grinned and didn't say anything. Angela's smirk remained on her lips.

"So….where are you taking me?" she said more cheerfully.

* * *

They drove until they reached nearly the very tip of their island home, doubling back to take the Brooklyn bridge across the East River. The early morning was still inky black as they settled in a quiet spot of the Heights by the riverside and stared across to the famous lights of Manhattan. They'd climbed into the backseat like amorous teenagers, snuggling themselves down beneath a woollen picnic blanket. Angela leaned back against Jordan in contentment, his arms were wrapped around her midriff while his chin rested on her shoulder. They sat there lost in their own thoughts, taking in the city they loved so much.

"You know when I was a kid, New York always was this, like, fairytale place that wasn't meant for people like me" Jordan said softly, his breath tickling the hair at the base Angela's neck.

"Yeah me too. Even when I moved to Long Island with my Mom, the city still seemed so faraway and unreachable. Only meant for, like , famous musicians and movie stars, I know that sounds stupid" she said quietly.

"It doesn't." he said with understanding "it makes sense. The city is the place of dreams or something."

Angela exhaled loudly and ran her fingers over his knuckles absentmindedly.

"You know something always confused me though about your situation." Jordan said curiously.

"If you had the money to go to NYU, how'd you end up in bad part of Ozone Park?". Angela stiffened.

"My Grandma Woods never agreed with me keeping Jason, but she still believed I needed an education. So she paid my tuition in full" Angela said sadly, looking back at him "As for Ozone Park…..no one knew that's where I was for a long time. Even my Mom" .

Jordan's eyebrows rose sharply .Angela sighed before she set about explaining fully.

"In freshman year you see I lived in the dorms and saw Jason only at the weekends in Long Island. I hated it….but then Rickie moved to New York to go to dance school . I jumped at the opportunity to share an apartment with him just so I could have Jason with me. Then we all moved into this tiny, but lovely two bedroom just off Chambers street. And for a long while it was perfect."

Jordan held her gaze, as he watched her with an unreadable look on his face.

"So what happened?" he said evenly. Angela looked away, a little ashamed by the truth behind her circumstances.

"Rickie got scouted by this huge dance company who wanted him to tour with them. This was just before I graduated. Anyway…. he didn't want to leave me to fend for myself, but I couldn't prevent him from following his dream. I convinced him to go. But unfortunately then I couldn't afford the rent anymore." .

"But you couldn't go back to your mother's house either. " Jordan said evenly.

" Exactly. I had to prove to myself I could survive on my own, so I worked two jobs in order keep Jason. Sending him to live with my mother again just seemed like torture." she paused, feeling a little ashamed .

"I know it was incredibly selfish" she added quietly. Jordan nodded in understanding, but didn't contradict her statement. Yet he wasn't sure he wouldn't have done the exact same thing in a similar situation.

"Where did Patty think you were living?" he said curiously.

"Astoria." she replied sheepishly. Jordan couldn't help but snigger.

"How long did you keep it up?" he said dumbfounded.

"A year" Angela said with a slight smirk.

"How?" he exclaimed.

" Whenever she came to 'visit', I always met her for lunch somewhere in Astoria and once or twice I borrowed my friend Abby's apartment to pretend it was mine . It was so stupid but I was desperate. After she found out the truth ,she flipped out and tried to take Jason away from me."

Angela's face darkened as she relived the heartache she'd experienced during that time. Jordan held her a little tighter and pressed a kiss to her neck, unable to do anything else. Angela took comfort in his arms before talking again.

"We fought for months but eventually she relented after we came to a compromise. When Jason was in school he stayed in Queens with me, but any vacations he went to stay with Mom. It was terrible during the Summer, but I knew it was the best thing for him."

Jordan turned her face towards him and kissed her cheek, a sweet smile on his mouth.

"You did the right thing, you do know that?" he said softly. Angela returned his smile weakly.

"But it hurt me so much when he wasn't around, because for three years I missed weeks of his life . Though somehow I always knew we'd get out of the situation. I 'd stand by the river, promising myself that one day….I'd be something." she said fiercely. Jordan was surprised by the hardship she'd endured, he'd always known it had been bad and now he felt nothing but compassion for her .

"Is that why you started writing?" he said tenderly. Angela smirked at him.

"Not entirely…..in the middle of this turmoil, you suddenly were everywhere with Echelon. On every billboard and every radio station, I had to do something to keep myself sane. Especially when you started to date all those gorgeous models" she sighed comically.

Jordan smirked back "Sorry about that." he chuckled.

"You know you were right though….I should have come to you for help, but I was too stubbornly determined to show I could do it all on my own. I'm sorry" she said remorsefully. Jordan stroked her cheek to sooth her unease.

"I forgave you long ago, you don't need to apologise" he said gently. She smiled at him in thanks.

"So anymore deep dark secret's you're harbouring?" Jordan said good-humouredly after a beat, trying to regain their previously easy going banter.

"I once had a threesome in college with two guys. You?" Angela said with a straight face . Jordan's eyes widened to the size of plates in astonishment as he gaped at her .

"I hate peas" he said unsteadily in shell shock. Angela broke out into uncontrollable laughter

"I'm joking sweetie. I never did that". Jordan laughed at his gullibility.

"Thank god, I was worried for a second.". Leaning back against his shoulder, she smiled up at him.

"So….honestly is there anything else I need to know about, like obsessively, jealous ex-boyfriend or something" Jordan said jokingly.

"You mean apart from you" Angela teased and Jordan smirked in self-deprecation.

"No. There's no one to worry about, none of them lasted long enough." she said sincerely.

"Really, I'd always thought you'd have been married by now or something"

Angela shrugged and settled against him.

"Actually I came close once with this guy I dated Junior and Senior Year, he asked me to marry him and everything. He was really sweet really." she said pensively.

"Why'd you say no?" Jordan asked. Angela twisted herself around to face him, brushing the bangs away from his eyes.

"He wasn't you." she answered tenderly. A warm smile broke across his face.

"Speaking of marriage, how the hell did you end up hitched to Eleanor Mitchell?" she asked with obvious humour. Jordan shrugged.

"We were in Vegas with the band, I was drunk, she was hot and had offered to blow me. It was potent mix" he smiled in embarrassment . Angela giggled

"You're too easy to please really. Remind me to try that sometime." Jordan rolled his eyes, but said nothing.

"This is weird, us having no big bad secret's hanging over our heads, it's kind of refreshing actually." Angela sighed happily. Jordan's heart beat a little faster as she said this, momentary dread and guilt filling his body. Angela may not have had anymore secret's from him, but he certainly still had skeletons in his closet. Jordan bit back the urge to tell her about the bribe he'd given the police in Southampton and the gigantic settlement he'd given the Hewson's. Jordan was worried if the shit ever did hit the fan she'd be implicated in whatever legal actions took place, it was the same reason why he hadn't said anything to Jason. By remaining silent about the issue, it limited the liability placed upon them. If anyone was going to be prosecuted over this, it was going to be him and only him. He swallowed the truth back deep into his gut and regained his carefree mood.

"Ehhh….Angela, there's a huge hickey on your neck" Jordan snorted loudly as he spotted the angry purple mark when she scratched under hair. Angela shot out of his arms to look at herself in the rear view mirror.

"Oh for fucksake Jordan ,I've a big meeting with my agent at ten. How the hell am I going to hide this?" she exclaimed, poking her neck carefully.

"I'm really sorry" he laughed "just wear a scarf or something. It is really cold at the moment anyway." Angela glared at him, still examining her neck touchily.

"Next time, mark your territory in a less obvious spot" she huffed loudly. Jordan pulled her back in to him and kissed the top of her head.

"I promise I'll be good" he said with a grin and Angela shook her head before kissing him back. Outside the sky was starting to lighten and streaks of dark pink became interspersed among the once monochrome night.

Angela yawned as she pulled back.

"It's nearly dawn. We better be getting back before the cops think we're doing something illegal." she said matter-of-factly.

"If only" Jordan said in teasing wistfulness, removing the woollen blanket from them.

"Don't push your luck Catalano, you're on thin ice after maiming me" Angela retorted ,climbing over the seats carefully and back towards the passenger side. She winced a little as her leg throbbed dully but the pain was thankfully fleeting. Jordan enjoyed the brief view of her lush ass, before moving into the front too. He started the car and took her hand in his after he put it into drive. Her fingers entwined in his and they happily left the spot by the river, each with a pleased smiles on their faces.

"Jordan" Angela said awkwardly.

"Yeah" he replied.

"This has been one of the best nights of my life" she said sweetly, looking at him with large, shy green eyes.

"Me too" he said affectionately. Nothing else was said between them, nothing else was needed.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Jordan grinned amiably at Larry as he came into the studio.

"Good morning man, how's it going?". Larry blinked at him rapidly, taken aback by Jordan's friendliness. Usually the singer treated him with almost contempt or at best, a distinct indifference to his presence.

I'm fine" he replied suspiciously, moving to the mixing desk and taking his seat in front of the monitors. Larry felt a unnerved by Jordan's good humour and outgoingness, they had never had a particularly amiable dynamic since he started working for the band. The sound tech didn't have long to dwell on this fact before Shane bundled into the room, bleary-eyed and carrying a large coffee. The older man's curiosity was piqued and his weariness forgotten when he was met by Jordan's beaming smile.

"Good morning shithead, I hope you and Regan had a nice night in Chelsea." Jordan teased. A slow smile spread across Shane's face.

"It got a little messy as per usual, but it was great. I take it you had a good night too judging by your infinitely better mood." Jordan shrugged nonchalantly, an arrogant smirk on his face.

"It was ok." he said coyly. Shane grinned and gave his best friend a knowing look.

"Just ok? So why did you hang up on me when I called yesterday?"

"I was busy." Jordan replied simply.

"Doing what?" Shane laughed. Jordan shrugged again, his attempts at relaxed indifference failing miserably.

"Nothing that important really" Jordan sighed. Shane gave him a wicked grin, he'd always known Jordan was a terrible liar, his poker face utterly transparent. Shane smelt blood and he was going in for the kill.

"So nothing interesting happened when you were 'busy'?" he said with interest.

Jordan shook his head and turned around in his chair to set up the desk for their next recording session.

"That's weird because I could have sworn I saw video of Angela Chase dry humping you in this room last night." Shane sighed in feigned confusion. Jordan froze and whipped around to face Shane.

"What?" he exclaimed. Shane smiled broadly haughtily, knowing he'd caught Jordan out.

"There's video on TMZ sent in by one of our fans. My favourite part is when Angela's face goes pink and she leaps off you. The look on her face is priceless" Shane laughed "I don't know how they even got the footage." Jordan smacked himself on the forehead.

"The stupid webcam was streaming us live to the website, someone must have ripped it off the site before I'd gotten a chance to delete it." he groaned. "Angela's going to kill me". Larry and Shane burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

"You mean….the thing was recorded by your own camera" Larry wheezed between giggles.

"Yeah" Jordan exhaled heavily, now blushing.

"You are actually retarded" Shane snorted.

"I know, but there's nothing I can do now. The cat's out of the bag." he sighed defeatedly. Shane arched an eyebrow at him.

"You're taking this remarkably well." he said warily. Jordan gave him a grin.

"I'm too happy to let this little slip up ruin my day." Shane eyes widened.

"Wow…..you must had a really good night then." Jordan shrugged again.

"A gentleman never tells." he said confidently.

"You'll tell me eventually, you always do." Shane said with a smirk.

Jordan narrowed his eyes at him.

"Oh shut up asshole. Let's stop stalling and actually get to work" Jordan said huffily. Shane sniggered but opened the door to the sound booth without another word.

* * *

"…..so then Julie says to me that April totally tried to steal Eddie from Frankie and…Jason are you even listening to me" Beth said grumpily from where she was lounging on his bed. Jason turned back to her with a blank look on his face, completely lost as to what she'd been talking about.

"Sorry…Georgia said what?" he guessed awkwardly. Beth pouted and threw a pillow at him.

"Jason what was the point in inviting me over when all you've done for the last half hour is ignore me." she whined. Jason got up from where he'd been sitting at the desk and flopped down beside her. He took her hand in his.

"I'm sorry….I've just got a lot on my mind lately. You have my full attention now." he said persuasively.

"What has you so distracted?" she asked a little more calmly.

"My parents…..I think they might actually make this weird situation work long enough for it to blow up totally in their faces and mine…and I'm not sure how I feel about it all." he sincerely. His girlfriend squeezed his hand supportively and gave him a smile.

"Just have to have a little faith in them, they might actually surprise you" Beth said sweetly.

Jason returned her a smile, his big blue eyes draining of worry.

"So what can I do to hold your attention?" she said a little exasperated. Jason smirked at her fiendishly, his arm snaking up her side as he leaned into kiss her.

"I can think of one thing you haven't tried yet" Beth pushed him back and looked at him disdainfully.

"Didn't we have this conversation just yesterday and I told you to be patient a little while longer." Jason exhaled a little in disappointment.

"I know, but I'm so ready to take this to the next level. But I can wait as long as it takes" he said as considerately as he could muster. Beth relaxed a little.

"I promise…I'm nearly there too, I just need a little more time." she said weakly.

Jason swept some of her dark hair away from her face as he looked at her affectionately.

"Okay. I'll stop being an ass, I promise." Beth let out a small chuckle.

"It's not as if you can complain either after that little thing we tried last night. " she teased. Jason grinned widely

"I'm not complaining believe me. I hope you'll do it again sometime soon". Beth rolled her eyes at him, before pushing onto his back to kiss him slowly.

"Only if you learn to behave first" she said flirtatiously.

"Behave! I'm always good Suarez." he laughed. She looked at him in amusement.

"Right? So you mean apart from breaking into Joey's house last night when his Mom was out. Just so you could smoke weed and make out with me . Which I'm still not sure exactly how that wasn't technically breaking and entering" she said with a smirk.

"I'd have preferred just entering." Jason replied with a predatory glint. Beth frowned and smacked his chest in annoyance.

"Jason, what did I say?" she complained. Jason laughed

"Ok . Cross my heart I'll stop now". Beth sighed and leaned down to kiss him.

"Three strikes and your out, got it stud?" she said resolutely. Jason nodded with a grin and was about to kiss her again when there was a knock on his bedroom door.

The young couple sat up again in slight panic and Jason walked to the door. Beth fixed her skirt and took a magazine out her bag. She dutifully began to read it to maintain the pretence of innocent liaisons on his bed He tried to hide his annoyance at the interruption as he opened the door. Jason gave his mother a smile as she grinned at him warmly.

"Hey sweetie, can I talk to you?" she said brightly.

"Sure " he said happily, motioning for her to enter the room.

Angela's eyebrow's rose almost to her hairline when she spotted the long legged beauty sprawled on her son's bed. She gave her son a pointed look, but Jason showed no signs of guilt or apology. Angela didn't exactly allow him and his girlfriend long tracts of time alone in his room. She was all too familiar with the power of the Catalano charm to condone such behaviour.

"Hey Beth, I didn't know you were here" Angela said amiably. The lovely teen gave her a polite smile.

"I'm sorry, I was just wasting some time till Julie came to pick me up, we're going to this fashion event in the MET tonight. I hope that's okay" she said apologetically. Angela gave her a smile.

"It's no problem, I just thought _someone_ would have told me you were here." Angela said ,shooting Jason a dirty look. Her son shrugged and sat in his swivel chair.

The awkward silence was quickly broken when Beth's phone began to buzz.

"Speak of the devil, Julie's downstairs" she breathed out in relief.

"Emmm….see you Monday Jason. Bye Angela" she said with embarrassment before walking out of the room.

Angela turned to Jason clearly not best pleased.

"Jason! Explain!" she said in annoyance. Jason looked at her nonchalantly.

"She was here less than thirty minutes, what kind of mischief could I have gotten up to in that time?" he said with a smirk.

"A lot" Angela replied with intent.

"So….what do you want to talk to me about?" Jason said curiously, happy to change the subject away from his flagrant disobedience of the rules.

"We have to go back to the apartment tomorrow to take some of our stuff from there to here. You know, winter clothes and your baseball uniform etc" she said slightly on edge, waiting to see what his reaction would be.

"Why?" he said confused.

"Because Brian and Rayanne are using it for a couple of months and I don't to be infringing upon their privacy" she replied simply. Jason eyes widened as he realised what she wasn't saying out loud.

"Are you staying here indefinitely?" Jason said carefully, a frown on his face. Angela opened her mouth to reply and little unsettled by his less then enthusiastic response.

"I don't know….maybe." she said honestly. Jason looked at her with concern.

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" he said warily.

"I thought you'd be happy with this" Angela said a little indignantly.

"I am, but I'm just worried you're doing it for the wrong reasons" Jason said uncomfortably. Angela frowned.

"What do you mean?" she asked fearfully.

"Look if things go bad, I don't you to feel obligated to be together just because you guys thinks it's best for me or something. I did just fine the way things were." Jason answered truthfully. Angela felt a little proud of his selflessness, she sat on his bed and took his hands into her own.

"I know for a long time it was just me and you against the world, but it doesn't have to be that way anymore. It's not going to be perfect. We'll fight and disagree, throw tantrums and slam doors , but Jordan loves us and I love him. Ultimately that's all that matters. " she said with conviction. Jason searched her eyes for any lingering doubt but found them shining back at him with hope.

"You really love him?" he asked with lingering uncertainty.

"No, I'm in love with him, Always have been" she responded with an easy smile. Jason's worry seemed to float away and in it's place he felt…..excitement.

"Okay. I guess I have no objections then." he said with a growing smile. Angela beamed at him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Sometimes you just got to take the chance, even if it might fail" Angela said completely ecstatic.

"I know" Jason replied as he held on tight to her.

"By the way you're grounded for having Beth in your room." she said just as she released him again. Jason's face fell .

"Mom….c'mon" he complained. But Angela grinned wickedly.

"Sorry rules are rules". She continued smiling as she excited his room and Jason looked at her in incredulity.

"My parents suck" he grumbled, collapsing on his bed in annoyance.

* * *

The following Monday morning Brian Krakow sat in his new office near Battery Park, a feeling of contentment surrounding him. His new work place was a lot bigger than the previous division of the firm he'd worked for. Looking across the Hudson River to Jersey city , he admitted the view was exponentially better too. Brian and Rayanne had moved into Angela's place the night before and the realisation that he and Rayanne were actually living together made him feel both elated and terrified. Inside he was freaking out, but externally he was the epitome of calm composure. His phone buzzed loudly against the wooden desk and a smile formed when he saw Rayanne's name flashing.

"Good morning Jackass" Rayanne said sleepily down the line. Brian smiled at the moniker, her affectionate pet name for him.

"Good morning bane of my life, how are you?" he said cheerfully.

"Sleepy" Rayanne replied yawning.

"What can I do for you anyway?" Brian said casually.

"I just wanted to give you the heads up that we got invited to Echelon's launch party next week. Delia sent me the details a couple of minutes ago" Rayanne said simply.

"Oh I hate those showbiz parties, do we have to go?" Brian groaned.

"Yes! We're going to support Jordan. Plus…. I'm contractually obliged to go. My publicist is insistent I make an appearance to promote 'Charity' and I'm not going alone." Rayanne said firmly.

"Fine. I'll go but you owe me." he said huffily.

"Yeah whatever….oh I also wanted to remind you to take a look at Angela's contract thingy again" she said cheerfully. Brian pulled at the file in front of him.

"Already well ahead of you" he said cockily.

"Alright then…see you tonight Krakow." Rayanne said with yawn again.

"Later Graff." he replied happily. Brian's pleased smile stayed on his face as he hung up. Turning his attention back to the file, something caught his eye.

"Wait a minute this isn't the copyright contract" he said out loud.

"Stephen" he yelled out into the corridor. The timid intern popped his head in the doorway.

"Yes Mr. Krakow?" he said respectfully. Brian held up the file.

"I asked you to get the Chase files, why is this in here?" he said a little grumpily.

"I did, that is all the files for Chase." Stephen replied. Brian frowned.

"But this is a confidentiality agreement, Angela Chase never signed one of those and she certainly never got one drawn up" Brian said puzzled. Stephen clicked his fingers as he realised why it was among the files.

"It was filed under Miss Chases name as a referent, because it involved her son. I'm not sure who the actual client was who got it commissioned " Brian's mouth fell open in shock and suddenly a mystery he'd been trying to figure unravelled in his mind.

"Do you want me to put the file back?" Stephen said politely. Brian shook his head.

"No….you can go back to work. It's fine" he said distractedly. The intern left without a word and Brian opened the file again in trepidation.

As he started to read it all began to make sense, how the couple in the Ferrari had just seemed to disappear after the accident. He saw the name '_Catalano_' signed through out the document and he could feel a growing dread in his gut.

"Jordan what have you done?" he said hopelessly, burying his head in his hands as the evidence mounted in front of him. This was bad. This was cataclysmic. This was going to change everything.

-_**SOOOOO**__**…**__**.more drama is on it**__**'**__**s way . For those who don**__**'**__**t know the song **__**'**__**Closer**__**'**__** I suggest you listen to it to get my little in-joke and because I was listening to it on repeat writing this chapter! And if you do know the song**__**…**__**..yes I know that I**__**'**__**m pervert! I'll update asap. Please review because it's like crack to me! By for now.**_

_**-RedCatCatalano**_


	20. Trick or Treat

_**Holler to my peeps! It's been way too long since I've updated and I do apologize guys. I had intended to update a month ago but I so busy this last month. Anyway as a treat I'm giving you an extra long chapter because it's my 20th installment to this story, so technically it is a platinum anniversary chapter ;-) This one was a lot of fun to write as the name suggests. Spoiler alert: Someone will find out something that will change his/her life. It is jam packed with lots of fun and action so enjoy!**_

_**Thanks to all who reviewed and favourited the last chapter, you are all my best people! Special thanks to LuvJordan for all the PM, they certainly kept my spirits up. To everyone else I would implore you to send me reviews because honestly they can be a huge help to me. For example, those who reviewed the last time made me realize the resolution to this story I'd originally constructed was not good enough and so I have rewritten it. The net result is the story is now going to be 2 chapters longer than intended. Reviews are like sunlight to me, the more I get the faster and better I grow ;-) Anyway, enough moaning from me. Hope you enjoy the chapter.**_

_**-RedCatCatalano**_

There were few things that Jason Catalano Chase did better than anyone else in the world, but one of them was sulking. Despite the fact he was now in the latter stages of his childhood, when Jason decided to sulk about something, he never went halfway. When the mood struck he could pout and scowl about something for days without any let up. He wasn't a vindictive person by any stretch of the imagination, it wasn't in his nature, but he could hold onto a grudge exponentially longer than anyone else he knew. So it was of no surprise to his mother to find Jason still moping over not getting his way as they prepared to leave for L.A. The young man had repeatedly begged to bring Beth to the launch party and had been consistently rebuffed by his parents. Knowing it was a long shot really, Jason had changed tactics and asked to bring Joey. But Angela had put her foot down and said a resolute no to his proposal, the reason being he was still technically grounded over his antics from two weeks before . Therefore he had to attend the celebration solo on principle alone. The consequence of this perseverance by Angela, was now young Master Catalano was being royally uncooperative.

From his room, Jason could hear his mother calling his name as he sat swinging in his leather desk chair ,staring at the ceiling. He was supposed to be packing to go to JFK in an hour, but honestly he just didn't give a shit. He was too busy brooding over how unfair his parents were being to him, to even consider assisting in being punctual for the flight. He didn't feel like being helpful, so he was holding off until it was absolutely necessary to actually pack. Plus they were only going for three days, how long could it possible take to pack a few pairs of boxers and a couple of t-shirts? Jason was too caught up in languishing over the injustice, he didn't notice his mother burst through his door.

"Jason, what are you doing? Get up" she huffed in indignation.

Jason yelped and fell out of the chair in shock, landing in a heap on the floor with an audible thump. He scowled at her as he regained his composure, jumping to his feet and rubbing his arm sorely.

"Jesus Mom! Don't do stuff like that." he grumbled as he tried to hide wounded pride.

"Well don't be sitting there staring off wistfully, instead of doing what I told you to do, like, 90 minutes ago." Angela shot back in irritation looking down at his empty suitcase.

"Shane and Regan are going to be here in less than an hour, and you haven't packed anything." she added more angrily. Jason just shrugged and frowned at her heavily.

"So…..I don't even want to go. Why can't I stay here with Grandma?" he whined. Angela cocked an eyebrow and gave him a jaded look.

"Don't even pretend you don't want to go, because I know you do, so stop being a baby and just suck it up. Joey's not coming and that's it" Jason pouted like a toddler and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Why not?".

Angela exhaled in frustration and rolled her eyes at him.

"Seriously we are not having the exact same argument again Jay. I'm tired of it "

"Don't call me Jay, you never call me that" he muttered.

"I'm your mother, I can you anything I want _Jason_" she said firmly as she walked over to his drawers and started pulling out underwear.

" For example I might start calling you Possum face if the mood struck me and you couldn't do anything about it" she added with an arrogant smirk. Jason winced.

"Please don't, possums are fugly." he moaned. Angela tossed a few pairs of boxers in to Jason's waiting bag before stepping forward and pinching his cheek.

"They're not fugly. They're adorably cute just like you" she said teasingly. Jason rubbed his face with a faint smirk, but didn't allow his frown to dissipate. He did instead conceded defeat with a sigh and went to his closet. Pulling clothes from the shelves he tossed them onto his bed, still visibly moping. As Angela watched his mournful display she couldn't help but glower herself.

"Oh for God sake Jason lighten up. This is our first trip as a family, why can't you be a little excited?" she complained.

Jason just shrugged apathetically, in reality he was overwhelmingly psyched about it. The party was set to be one of the biggest of the year and everyone in his school was green with envy that he was going . Even some of his teachers. This was bound to be an event to remember for years to come and something to brag about to impress girls. Another thing he hadn't overlooked either was the launch was bound to filled with beautiful, young and single girls that would more than happily fawn over him all night because he was Jordan's son. If they couldn't have the charismatic front man, his similarly charming doppelganger of a son was the next best thing. It was the one time he'd ever wished, even for a brief second, that he wasn't in a relationship. The thought of all those lovely, famous females swarming him and catering to his every whim ,was enough to test even the most committed of men. And here he was a hormonally charged virgin. It was going to be hard to say no, that was one thing he was certain of. But when he thought of his girlfriend's sweet nature and beautiful face, he knew he could do it. Jason could restrain himself against his natural impulses, well, just about!

His faked indifference about going, in the presence of his mother, was a totally separate issue. It was just an automatic reaction to not getting his own way. You see, there was a downside to living in a two parent family he hadn't considered. They tended to support each others decisions when it came to discipline. Jason had been unable to wear either Jordan or Angela down enough to guilt trip them into letting Joey come. Because once one of them started to waiver, the other would swoop in and remind them why Jason was in trouble in the first place. So every time he'd end up right back at square one, often times a few steps further back because of his insistent stubbornness. So nothing he'd done had managed to convince them to relax the punishment even one inch. Why did they have to be so damn supportive of one another all the time!

"C'mon Jason seriously, why can't you even pretend for, like, two minutes that this is going to be fun?" Angela said in exasperation.

"Because I have to share a suite with you guys, and you and Dad will probably be sucking face half the time." Jason retorted, not being able to stop himself from smirking a little as he turned to throw another shirt towards his bag. Angela snorted in amusement at his answer.

"Granted we can be a little heavy on the PDA at times, but we will restrain ourselves. I promise." A half smile broke across his face as he rolled his eyes at Angela before going back to searching in his closet for something.

"It was bad enough stumbling upon that video of you guys, without having to see the damn live version everyday." he said cheekily without turning to look at her. Angela's face flashed bright pink.

"Please never speak of that again. I nearly died of embarrassment when I saw on the E channel." she mumbled.

Angela exhaled again loudly at him in feigned irritation, then began to fold his clothes into the suitcase.

"If I'd known you'd be such a pain in the ass, I'd have sent you up to visit your uncle Pete in PA with Jordan ." she said with a wicked look in her eye. Jason made a face.

"I wouldn't have gone. That guy scares me."

"Yeah well he's family and the experience might have taught you some gratitude for what you have. Plus it might have shown you the importance of actually behaving yourself every so often" Angela replied pointedly. Jason shot her a withering look.

"I behave sometimes…but I'm a teenage boy. Doing the occasional rebellious ,stupid thing is in my nature. Look at Dad." Jason replied moodily.

"True but what's that great proverb….do what I say, not what I do." Angela said with a smirk.

"Yeah whatever." Jason sighed "at least Dad's flying in late tonight so I won't have to see you guys making goo goo eyes at one another." Angela blushed at little .

"I do not make goo goo eyes at Jordan." she muttered. Jason scoffed.

"Oh please Mom, you go all doe-eyed and cutesy. It's so gross it makes me wanna barf sometimes ". Angela stuck out her tongue at him.

"You're such a little shit sometimes." she said with a laugh. The last of Jason's bad mood disappeared as he grinned at his mother haughtily.

"Well I am your kid. What did you expect?" he chuckled, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he moved back to his bed to put shoes in the bag. Angela smirked as she threw a pair of socks at him.

"Just shut up smart ass." Jason's smile widened, but he didn't say anything else. Whatever lingering bad feeling that had remained within Jason vanished, leaving only a happy, companionable bubble between Mother and son.

Angela was about to leave again to double check she'd packed everything in her own case, when something caught her attention. She smirked as she picked up set of white make up and vampire fangs Jason had put on the bed.

"Are you planning on going trick or treating in the hotel or something?".

Jason looked at her strangely as she laughed.

"I'm being Edward Cullen for the launch party" he said simply.

Angela arched an eyebrow at him.

"You're going to your fathers album launch as a sparkly vampire, aren't you a little old for dressing up?". It was now Jason's turn to cock an eyebrow at his mother in confusion.

"Considering the theme of the party is the 'Monster's Ball' and it's on Halloween , I would have thought it was mandatory to put on a costume." Angela's eyes widened.

"Theme? What theme?" she said with slight trepidation.

"You know the one where you dress up as your favorite fictional or horror character, the band are all going as zombies." Jason said nonchalantly, putting the last remaining items in the suitcase. Angela began to realize Jason was being serious.

"How long has there been a theme?" Angela said with more obvious panic, the party was tomorrow and she had no idea what to wear.

"Since like always. Once they knew the album would be done for the 31st the record company came up with it. Even though it was frikkin' obvious idea anyway." Jason watched his mother carefully and a thought struck him.

"Wait…did Dad not tell you?" he said with a growing smirk.

Angela didn't answer immediately, her lips beginning to purse in annoyance.

"You guys are always together , how did you not know?" Jason said with a laugh.

"If you'll excuse me a second, I have an idiot of a boyfriend to call and yell at." she said in barely contained fury, turning and leaving the room swiftly. Jason lifted his bag off the bed as he smiled after his mother. Jordan was about to get his ass handed to him and his son couldn't help but laugh. Maybe this trip would be fun after all.

* * *

"…and another thing Jordan! How did you manage to call Rayanne to tell her, but couldn't tell your girlfriend about it. Who ,I might add , you see at least 16 hours a day " Angela growled down the phone. Jordan was sitting in a cab outside the state prison waiting for Angela to calm down. He had removed the phone from his ear about 2 minutes into her ramble, only adding words of apology when she took a few seconds to catch her breath.

He didn't know why exactly she reacting so badly, most of all he just put it down to PMS or something. Jordan rolled his eyes as she kept talking. He had forgotten how much Angela Chase could talk about a small issue until it had blown out of proportion into some separate self fueling fire . He really did love the girl with all his being, but damn, sometimes he wished she'd just shut up.

"Jordan! Are you even listening to me?" Angela said huffily.

"Of course I am" Jordan replied a little sheepishly as he quickly replaced the cell phone to his ear.

"Then what's your excuse?" she said touchily.

"For what?"

"For not damn well telling me." Jordan sighed and willed himself to sound as convincing as possible.

"Look, I could have sworn I'd told you last week."

"Well you didn't"

"And I am truly sorry, but I'm sure tonight you can come up with some interesting ways of punishing me for it ." he said with a devilish smirk. Jordan heard Angela scoff loudly down the line in surprise.

"Your damn right I'm going to punish you" she exclaimed. Jordan could hear a growing smile in her voice, and he knew her anger was beginning to subside.

"Oh I'm quaking in my boot, what are you planning to do with me" he whispered huskily and Angela let out an unintentional chuckle, clearly enjoying his enticing suggestiveness. She cleared her throat a little awkwardly after a second, obviously realizing others were listening to her words intently.

"I think the terms of your penance shall be announced at a more _appropriate _time." she said a little more sedately. Jordan chuckled softly.

"Is Shane pretending to stare out the car window so he can listen to what you're saying like a pervert?" he said knowingly.

"Uh huh"

"Jason too?"

"Bingo". Jordan smiled to himself.

"Then I guess I'll have to just console myself by imaging all the dirty things you're going to do to me later." he said seductively. Angela laughed again despite herself.

" You are disgusting"

"And yet ,you find me irresistible" Jordan said cockily.

"The lord only knows why….I'm still mad with you by the way." she said petulantly. Jordan sighed.

"I know…..and I really am sorry." Angela didn't say anything else for a moment, Jordan could hear Shane saying something in the background.

"Listen we just got to JFK so I'm going to have to go. Say hi to Pete for me?" Angela said distractedly.

"Of course…..call me when you land alright." Jordan said more seriously.

"I will and…. even though you're an idiot and don't deserve me, I love you Catalano" Angela said more sweetly. Jordan grinned in the back of the cab happily.

"Love you too Chase, see you tonight". With that he hung up reluctantly. The taxi driver looked back at him with humor.

"Girlfriend forgive you ?". Jordan shrugged and smirked back at him.

"Just about…..but she's gonna make work for total forgiveness, and probably won't easily forget this slip up". The taxi driver laughed .

"I've been married 35 years and it's still exactly the same. Women!" he exclaimed. Jordan grinned broadly.

"That's comforting to know". The driver shook his head as he stayed smiling.

"But you know what. If it's the right girl it's worth it, you know, all the stupid shit." Jordan nodded solemnly.

"Yeah it is"

* * *

As soon as Jordan reached the table in the visitor room, Pete had rushed forth and enveloped him in a tight, happy hug. A huge grin on his worn, gaunt face.

"You came" .

Jordan shifted a little uncomfortably when his brother released him and the guard gave him a disapproving look. Physical contact between prisoners and others was strictly forbidden, but the officers knew Jordan well enough to let this little indiscretion pass with out incident. Jordan shot them a look of apology before giving Pete a soft smile .

"I said I wouldn't miss your birthday, remember." Pete gave him a light punch in the shoulder and motioned for them to sit down at the table.

"I would have forgiven you if you'd delayed a couple of days, I know you've got some big party tomorrow." Jordan shrugged.

"Nah it's a tradition , plus, I've still got a ton of time to get to L.A"

Pete gave him a grateful smile and the two brothers fell into an amiable silence.

They regarded on another for a moment, studying each others familiar faces. Jordan was happy to see that Pete was not as sickly thin as the last time he'd seen him. His face was still devoid of color, and his general health was not too good, but Jordan could see there had been small improvements. Pete had finally kicked the habit and was just shy of two months clean, his cheeks were a little less hollow now and Jordan was relieved at the prospect of sustainable sobriety.

It had always amazed Pete every time he'd been in Jordan's company how much his baby brother looked like their mother. It struck him even more as he looked at his little brother, his face open and friendly,

that there was something in then way he moved, his awkward expressions and gentle blue stare that resembled Laura Catalano so poignantly. Pete had always felt sorry for Jordan ,more than even himself ,when their mother left. He'd practically been a baby, so sweet and shy clinging to his favorite teddy bear as he tried to understand why mommy wouldn't come home or why baby Frankie had gone too. Jordan asked everyday, crying at night when their father had shouted at him to shut his mouth. Pete had tried his best to shield him from their father's uncontrollable anger in those first few months, but he had only been a kid himself. A skinny thirteen year old was no match for a man when he wanted to beat the pain and anger out of himself. Pete always remembered the whimper Jordan had made the night when Mikey's belt hit his little legs, like the cry of an injured animal who knew their days were numbered. It still haunted Pete at night that sound, he could never get rid of it like it had festered under his skin or something. One day Jordan had asked one too many times about his mommy and Mikey had ripped the head off Jordan's bear, yelling next time around it would be him not the toy. So Jordan stopped asking, stopped seeking comfort and just, shut down.

Pete had always felt guilty about leaving him to fend for himself a couple of years later, but at the time he'd reached boiling point after a violent fight that had left them both bleeding and bruised. Pete knew if he didn't leave, he was going to kill Mikey Catalano . And with this betrayal the last of Jordan's faith in others disappeared, after that he was never the same. He became detached from everyone around him except Shane , Jordan did nothing but try and numb himself from the world that had abandoned him. Seek distraction in alcohol and soft drugs, anything to stop the deep rooted pain he had within in him. Stopped trying to achieve anything because he no longer saw the point in bettering the shit life he had. And so it had remained until Jordan fell in love and hope started to bloom in his heart again ,ironically, just as Pete's life had turned to shit. Even though Jordan had ended up brokenhearted again, the experience had dragged him back out into the real world, made him feel again. It was this that made him forgive Pete.

The greatest and most emotionally powerful moment in Pete's life had been the day Jordan, the brother he'd deserted ten years before and who he hadn't seen since, walked into the visitors room without warning. In that second Pete had cried, because in those haunted expressive eyes, he'd seen nothing but forgiveness and love. Barely out of adolescence ,his little brother had stood in front of him and promised to stand by him. And since then, that's exactly what he'd done. Despite the bad things Pete had done from since then and after, Jordan never abandoned him, never forgot to call him or visit him. It was because they were all each other had. As Pete watched Jordan now ,he realized it wasn't just his physical characteristics that reminded him of Laura, it was that innate goodness. That generosity of heart that they'd both inherited ,but Pete had chosen to ignore for a long time. It was that big heart and generosity which tied them together now.

"So how is my superstar baby brother doing? Apart from taking over the music industry obviously!" Pete said with a wry grin. Jordan rolled his eyes and blushed a little. Pete always found someway to make fun of him.

"You're hilarious. Life's good though." he said with a genuine smile.

"You seem happy, even more then the last time we talked."

"I guess I'm just relieved the albums done and I can relax for a little bit. The last three months have been….stressful." Pete knew he wasn't just talking about work, he'd heard about crash but Jordan had never spoke about it. It seemed he couldn't, like if he did ,the guilt would consume him. He looked at his brother in understanding.

"How's your girl doing?"

Jordan gave him a proud smile, relived Pete knew what he couldn't say aloud.

"Much better thank god. She's walking again now with barely any pain anymore. Still has to use a stick sometimes though."

"That's great, I'm glad she's okay. And how are things going between you guys?" Pete said with a slight smirk when Jordan blushed a little.

"Eh…..honestly, so good I want to pinch myself sometimes." he smiled. Pete didn't saying anything for a moment in response. He was delighted for his brother. He shot Jordan a wicked grin.

"Obviously someone has been getting some serious action." Jordan's cheeks went bright red and he squirmed in the plastic seat not knowing what to say. I mean was he supposed to lie and sound like a weird celibate monk, or agree and sound like he was bragging about it. Pete's grin widened.

"I'll take that as a yes then." Jordan still looked really uncomfortable and Pete laughed.

"Jesus Christ Jordan lighten up, I was only playing with you." His brother pouted but relaxed a fraction.

"Why'd you always have to bust my balls?" Jordan groaned. Pete smirked.

"I'm your older brother, it's my job." Jordan rolled his eyes.

"So where's your son, I thought I might see him today?" Pete said a little disappointed.

"He's gone to L.A with his mom already. I would have brought him but Angela needs help with her bags." Jordan said simply.

"Oh….next time maybe? Angela too?" Pete said hopefully. Jordan gave him a kind smile and nodded.

"Sure, I can arrange that."

"Good" Pete looked at him a little more tentatively "What's Jason like?"

Jordan grinned again proudly.

"A pain in the ass" he laughed.

An easy conversation continued between the brothers as they talked endless about everything and nothing at all. But as they spoke something began to eat at Jordan, something that had been bothering him for months. He hadn't been able to discuss it with anyone because he'd been trying to keep under wraps. It was vitally important to everyone he cared about that it was kept buried, but as he talked with Pete he found it increasingly hard not to think about it. He needed to ask Pete for advice because he was the only one that could keep this secret and would give him a straight answer .

His brother eyed him warily as Jordan's face grew serious.

"Pete…..can I ask you something without you ,like, freaking out at me or judging." Jordan asked with trepidation. Pete nodded and continued to watch him apprehensively.

"Do you ever think, that sometimes, the wrong thing to do can be the right one to do at the same time? Like, if you do it for the right reasons."

"Are you seriously asking me about morality? Don't you think my judgments a little skewed to answer something like that?" Pete answered sceptically. Jordan squirmed in his seat in discomfort.

"Just tell me" he begged.

"I guess so, as long as it really is done for the right reasons. Why'd you ask?" Jordan didn't answer, his uncomfortable face telling Pete all he needed to know.

"What did you do?" he asked darkly.

"What I had to, to protect people I care about" Jordan said blankly.

"Jordan what did you do?" Pete said more aggressively.

"Some thing not technically legal"

"Why would you do something so stupid?" Pete said through gritted teeth, growing angry. He always thought Jordan was smarter than that.

"As I said, I was protecting people." The dots started to join together in Pete's mind when he looked into Jordan's unapologetic stare.

"Does this have anything to do with this girl of yours"

"Sort of"

"Jason?". Jordan nodded solemnly. Pete sighed as he realized what it was.

"You bribed them didn't you, that couple that'd been injured in the crash to stop them talking" he said plainly "The police too?" he asked, already knowing the answer deep down. Jordan's eyebrows shot up, utterly surprised Pete had figured it out so quickly, but he always had been the smart one. Jordan nodded and Pete buried his head in his hands. When he finally lifted his head again ,he looked at Jordan in total disappointment.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you're going to be in if anyone ever finds out?" he whispered. Jordan stared at the floor in shame.

"I'm willing to live with the consequences." Pete looked at him dejectedly.

"But I'm not! Goddamn it Jordan I don't want you to end up like me. Stuck somewhere like this, losing years of your life to the system. You're better than this!" he growled.

"No one is going to find out…the police say anything, they get in shit too. The only people who know are my lawyers" Jordan said firmly. Pete looked at him in exasperation.

"Just tell me why Jordan? Why would you do this?" Jordan took a deep breath before replying.

"Something like this on Jason's record…it could ruin his future. Same with Angela"

"So you potentially ruin your own life?" Pete hissed.

"They are my life Pete, don't you understand." Jordan bit back with a frown. Pete shook his head in disbelief.

"And how do you think they'll feel when you get your ass carted off to jail?". Jordan clenched his jaw in slowly burning anger.

"Stop saying that, it's not going to happen."

"Then why did you ask me about it in the first place if you didn't want the fucking truth?" Pete couldn't help but yell. The guards looked at them in interest, and Pete swallowed his rising anger to stop them from coming over to investigate.

"Look…..I get you did this for them, but why tell me?" he said more calmly. Jordan sighed.

"I guess…..I needed to tell someone. Angela doesn't know and I kinda feel guilty for lying." Pete looked at Jordan long and hard.

"It's quite a dichotomy you have here isn't it"

"Dichotomy?" Jordan asked a little confused

"You know, damned if you do and damned if you don't." Pete said simply. Jordan nodded "Yeah". Pete took a deep breath.

"Regardless of what I said, I'll have your back no matter what. Alright?" Jordan have him a smile in thanks.

"But…..in my opinion, if you want to salvage anything of your relationship if the shit hits the fan…you have to tell Angela yourself." Pete added gravely. Jordan shrugged "Maybe". They were silent again for a long time, not really knowing what to say to each other. Then the bell rung to say visiting hours were over and Jordan began to rise to his feet.

"I….eh….brought something for your birthday. You should get it once it clears the security checks" Jordan said distractedly. Pete nodded, not being able to look Jordan in the eye, too furious at him to even think about being understanding about it all.

"Thanks for the present" he said coolly. Jordan shifted from foot to foot in awkwardness.

"So I guess I'll see you at Christmas…." he said quietly. Pete stared off avoiding Jordan's gaze.

"Yeah guess you will." he replied nonchalantly. With a heavy heart Jordan readied himself to leave.

"Happy birthday Pete" he said meekly before turning and walking slowly out to the exit. Pete sat there for several more seconds motionless as he bit his lip strongly. He glanced up at Jordan's retreating figure and felt a slight pang of dread. In that second he feared for his brother, for his heedlessness and impetuousness. But most of all for the love and loyalty for his family that he had within himself, which had driven him to be so stupid. Only time would tell how this all would play out and Pete could do nothing but wonder.

* * *

As soon as Jordan saw Angela several hours later in their hotel suite, all the lingering darkness that clung to him after his visit with Pete, floated away. All it took was one glimpse of her face and he didn't have a single care in the world. She didn't notice him at first, too absorbed in her book to see him standing in the doorway watching her. He smiled to himself as he saw her sprawled across the bed reading. She was dressed only in light cotton shorts and tank top, a pair of purple framed glasses resting on her nose and her expression was serious. Her hair was in a loose pony tail and her face was slightly pink from washing and scrubbing it not longer before. As he watched Angela, her legs swinging back and forth slowly as she lay on her stomach, he was struck by how young and innocent she looked. Like a sweet and sexy school girl or something. Regardless of how perverted his evaluation sounded in his head, he was sincerely enjoying the view.

"Ahem" he said suddenly. Angela's head snapped up to meet his eyes as soon as he cleared his throat, a faint look of terror on her face from the surprise. Instantly a huge smile replaced it and she removed her reading glasses to look at him better.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes" she said happily. Jordan grinned at her seductively as he leaned against the doorway. Angela's heart skipped a beat as he stood there in the familiar position. Boy did that man lean good.

"Are you just going to stand there all night looking pretty or are you going to come say hello?" she said invitingly, cocking an eyebrow at him. Jordan's grin grew wider and he laughed a little. Kicking off his shoes as he sauntered over to the bed, he leaned down and gave Angela a deep kiss. She gave a pleased purr of surprised satisfaction as he did the little trick with his tongue that always sent her wild.

"Hello" he said huskily pulling back but still holding her face between his hands. She gazed at him a little foggily before regaining her composure.

"Wow, well that was some greeting. Rough day or something?" Angela said a little breathlessly, beaming up at him. Jordan flopped down on the bed beside her and rolled over onto his side. Angela turned on her side to face him contentedly. Still smiling, Jordan hooked his arm around her and pulled her closer.

"I just missed you that's all." he said sweetly as he kissed her neck.

"We only spent like ten hours apart." she laughed ,enjoying his lips on her skin. He stopped and looked at her with a pout.

"And? Did you not miss me or something?" he said touchily. Angela grinned at him.

"Oh my god you are such a girl!"

Jordan pouted more and crossed his arms defensively . Angela rolled her eyes at his childishness and propped herself up on her elbow to look at him better.

" Of course I missed you. But I was also still, like, pissed at you too, so the time apart was needed." she said pointedly. Jordan pout detracted and he relaxed his arms. He really didn't have a reason to get annoyed, she was sort of right .

"Did you get anything for the party?" Jordan asked, pushing himself up into a seated position.

" Thankfully my assistant Cathy arrived a couple of hours before us and got me one ,so you're off the hook. Well mostly" Angela replied sending him a jaded look. Jordan scanned the room with interest.

"Where is it? The costume"

"Put away for tomorrow, and it will not be coming out till then, so stop looking." Angela smirked. Disappointment filled Jordan's face.

"C'mon! I want my see what my super hot girlfriend is going to be teasing me with tomorrow." he begged.

Angela shook her head stubbornly as she turned onto her back and stretch her arms upwards. Jordan gulped as her tank top rode up a little, exposing smooth flat surface of her stomach. He couldn't help but move across the bed to lie on top of her with predatory grin.

"Well hello there " she laughed in delighted surprise as he grinned down at her.

"C'mon show me the costume. I need to be prepared so I can control myself tomorrow night" he whispered persuasively, running his fingers down her side. Angela contemplated giving in for a second, his honed seduction techniques making her brain a little hazy.

"If you hadn't made such a royal fuck up and told me , then maybe you would have gotten a sneak peek. What's more ,you really would have enjoyed it" she retorted wickedly and pushed him off her. If she didn't get some space between them ,he was going to drive her insane and she'd inevitably surrender to him. Jordan sighed

"Is this my aforementioned punishment?".

"Yep. We're not having sex either FYI" she said nonchalantly.

"WHAT? Why?" Jordan whined.

" Firstly none of the rooms have any doors in this suite and secondly, Jason is sleeping directly across us and I rather not scar him for life. Well more then he is already after that video us went viral on the internet".

Jordan smirked , their little 'show' had already garnered 3 million views and counting and while he was taking the attention in his stride, Angela was still unbelievably embarrassed by it. Especially when her mother had mentioned it now being on a loop on the E! channel . Jason reaction to it had at first been disgust and anger, but now he was just tried to block it all out. Convince himself it wasn't happening until the excitement surrounding it disappeared. Angela just tried to block it from her mind and it worked most of the time.

Turning his thoughts back to the matter at hand, Jordan became aware he hadn't noticed the lack of doors when he arrived. That being said, his mind had been distracted by the lovely sight he'd discovered waiting for him. No doors meant no real privacy, and that was going to be a problem for his case. He got up from the bed to look out the arch of the doorway. Sure enough, directly across the hall he could see the sleeping figure of his son sprawled across his bed in a deep sleep, his mouth hanging wide open as he snored softly.

"He is dead to the world, we won't wake him up if we're quiet." Jordan said suggestively, lying back down on the bed. Angela cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Really? I don't think we can be that quiet." Angela scoffed.

"Why so cynical?" Jordan asked with a smirk, tucking the stray strands of hair behind her ear.

" Do you know what my Mom said when I asked if she was sure about not coming to L.A?" Angela replied pointedly. Jordan shrugged not really knowing where Angela was going with this.

"She said, that at least she'd get a good nights sleep while we were gone. Because she hadn't in ,like, a week." Angela said with serious eyes.

Jordan looked at her in complete confusion.

"Wait….what has that got to do with anything?" he said in slight frustration, not quite understanding what her point was.

"Gee I don't know Jordan…..what did we do all last week that we couldn't before , you know, because of my leg ." she replied sardonically. Jordan's brow knit in bewilderment, still not getting it. Angela felt like smacking him as he looked at her blankly, did she really need to spell it out for him? God he was so slow at times.

"Seriously Jordan? Okay let me be perfectly clear…..her room is directly below ours…what could have possibly kept her awake that we were doing?" she said more succinctly. Jordan started to laugh as it finally dawned on him, he blushed a little as he realized what she'd been implying.

"Oh ….Poor Patty. I guess we can be a little loud" he chuckled "but at least you got do something you've always wanted ." It was now Angela's turn to look puzzled.

"You know…..do it in your room while your parents were sleeping. Or in our case….doing it so much it stops your mother sleeping." he laughed louder. Angela made a face and began hitting him with a pillow.

"Oh my god you are so disgusting" she huffed. Jordan grinned and dodged her blows, lunging forward to tickle her into submission.

Soon Angela erupted into uncontrollable giggles, squirming under his fingers and begging through her laughter for him to stop. Jordan eventually did as asked and ended his assault with a quick kiss to her mouth. She took a final swipe at him with another pillow, before giving him a grin.

"You're lucky I'm tired because I could kill you right now." she said in a less than threatening tone, placing her arms behind his head.

"I'm sure you would" he replied teasingly, pressing an affectionate kiss to her lips. She gave him a smile and relaxed beneath him. Angela ran her fingers through his newly cut hair, twisting it gently at the nape of his neck and sighing contentedly.

"You nervous about tomorrow?" she said after a second, her eyes soft with concern for him.

Jordan thought for a second, weighing her question in his mind.

"Nah…..as long as I have my friends and family around me, I'll be fine."

"Good. The records great anyway" she said kindly. He gave her a bashful half smile then leaned down and kissed her again, this time diving deeper until she began to melt beneath him. Despite what she said about them waking Jason, Angela was unable to stop herself from locking her legs around his hips and grind back into him. Kissing him back with as much heat and passion as he was kissing her, it was hard not to get carried away. Jordan smiled to himself as she groaned when he'd run his hands along her bare legs. Her strict morals always had a habit of disintegrating if he pushed the right buttons enough.

"Wait" she said breathlessly, managing to push herself free from him. "Stop distracting me. We can't do this, Jason will hear us or god forbid see us." She seemed to be trying to convince herself more than him that it was the right thing to do. Like her brain was going to switch itself off if she didn't try maintain some semblance of external dialogue with herself. Jordan grinned at her, but decided not to push his luck. He could abstain for tonight at least.

"Damn it I was going to suggest we do it in the bathroom" he joked and Angela sniggered at his boldness

"Yeah sure, because porcelain and linoleum are so sexy. Maybe tomorrow Mr. Rock star." she grinned mockingly " but right now I want to sleep before I pass out"

Jordan pouted a little but rolled off her once more, his yawn the only sign of agreement needed. They had both flown five hours cross country today, and he was honestly exhausted.

"Yeah….I'm close to crashing too" he said blankly, rising from the soft bed and heading to the bathroom.

Angela took the opportunity to go get under the covers and get comfy while Jordan went to brush his teeth.

Returning back to the bed only in his boxers, Angela regretted her decision for a split second when she saw his familiar toned body . He winked at her as he saw her wandering and appreciative stare. Slipping in beside her, Jordan pulled Angela into to his chest and relaxed instantly as soon as she touched him.

"You know, when I first met you, I never imagined you be this much of a cuddler" she said happily, wrapping her arm around him and settling herself just under his chin.

"If I had met me at 17, I wouldn't have thought that either. But hey, people change." Jordan smiled as he held her a little tighter.

"Yeah they do….in good ways." Angela answered barely above a whisper, her eyes closing as she snuggled into him. A thought struck just as she got closer to falling asleep.

"How was Pete by the way?" she said hazily. Jordan stiffened unintentionally, he cursed himself as Angela opened her eyes to look at him with concern.

"Did I say something wrong? " she said with trepidation.

"No…not..really….Pete and I…we just didn't leave on the best terms today. I don't want to talk about it right now" he said impassively, hoping she would let the issue lie. This was not a conversation he was ready to have in the near future, not until he could figure out how to rescue their relationship from the unavoidable fall out. All he could do was pray she would leave it alone, because if she forced him to talk he wouldn't be able to lie. Well believably anyway. Jordan would have to tell the truth and that, that was probably a death sentence at the moment.

She looked at him with tired eyes and shrugged.

"If you're sure" she yawned.

"Yeah, just go asleep Angie" he said soothingly. She smiled and took the invitation, burying her face against his chest again and pressed a kiss just above his heart.

"Okay sweetie" she whispered as her consciousness slipped into a light slumber. She was asleep against him in an instant. Jordan breathed out in relief, happy that the building problem of his guilt had been avoided for one more night at least. Right now all he had to do was hold Angela in his arms and worry about the world tomorrow. Tonight they were still perfect.

* * *

"Angelika" Rayanne squealed as she spotted her best friend across the lobby. Her friend gave her a huge smile when she spotted Rayanne rushing towards her.

"Hello Ray Ray" she laughed as Rayanne caught her in a friendly hug.

It had been less than two days since they'd seen one another, but to the ever eager Rayanne it had been a lifetime . She pulled back and gave Angela a mischievous grin.

"So where's the squirt today? I thought Mr sulky face might be tagging along with us."

"Jason's gone to the club with the band for a sound check, so Jordan can deal with him for a while." Angela grinned back.

"Robbie told me you nearly killed him on the plane." Rayanne laughed. Angela narrowed her eyes at Rayanne as she remembered.

"I was so close to asking the pilot to land the plane so I could just leave him in the middle of Iowa. But then he finally stopped complaining when I started referring to him as Possum face. I told him I would start calling him Jason again when he stopped acting like a rat" Rayanne sniggered.

"Nice tactic"

"I thought so." Angela smirked.

"Speaking of sulkily tagging along, where's Brian?". Rayanne shrugged.

"Blah, blah, blah legal emergency blah. He's somewhere uptown"

"I can see your interest in his work has improved drastically since moving in together" Angela said dryly.

"Listen here ,you get to talk to your boyfriend about concerts and songs and cool things as part of his job. Mine talks about contracts, injunctions and appeals, and a whole other heap of stuff that I just smile and nod at. After a while you just zone out." Rayanne replied with a sigh. Angela laughed and put her arm around Rayanne as they walked out of the hotel and toward a cab.

"Fine, point taken. At least you're being supportive in pretending to listen to him" she joked.

Rayanne rolled her eyes at Angela as they got into the cab.

"Enough about the annoying men in our lives, let's go have some well fun" Rayanne said pleadingly.

Angela exhaled happily.

"I couldn't agree more"

* * *

In the seventeen years Angela Chase and Rayanne Graff had been friends, there wasn't many thing that they hadn't been through together. In the great span of their friendship there had been an overdose, a betrayal, two pregnancies, an abortion, a few great fights that had threatened to separate them and there had been some nights so special that it felt no one knew them better. But in all her years with Rayanne, there had been never been a time where she'd ever envisioned standing in a changing room, trying to force her friend into a Morticia Adams costume.

"Rayanne it's stuck. I can't get it closed."

"That's not possible, I sent my exact measurements to Wendy ten days ago to alter the dress." Rayanne huffed in frustration.

"I really wish I could say that I'm making this up, but the zip is honesty not budging."

"Shit" Rayanne cursed, pulling off the black dress "I thought I was imaging it, but I've been putting on weight like crazy lately."

Angela looked at her in sympathy as she flopped down on the chair in the corner in dejection.

"It happens, it's probably just with all the new stress with cohabiting with Krakow. He is hard work at times" she joked, trying to diffuse her friends tension.

" It's not just that. I don't feel like myself lately, like I've lost my edge or something." Rayanne said glumly.

"Rayanne Graff losing her edge, impossible" Angela said with a smile as she sat beside Rayanne on the narrow seat .

"I'm being serious…..I've like, been moody and stuff. Yesterday I yelled at Brian because he forgot to order cream on my hot chocolate. The day before….I cried because I couldn't find my favorite eyeliner." Rayanne sighed. Angela bit her lip to stop the sudden urge to laugh.

"I'm sure it'll pass." she said cheerfully, trying to lift her friends spirit's a little.

"Maybe but I don't know what's wrong with me lately Angela. Last week Brian forgot to buy me a lollipop and I burst into tears. Like hysterically. He was so panicked he went and bought a box of like, a hundred, and then I cried more because I was convinced I was going to lose my teeth." Rayanne sighed again and shifted the ill-fitting dress on herself.

"My boobs are so damn tender all the time too, it's driving me crazy" she moaned.

Angela's eyes widened as her mind jumped into overdrive, seeing instantly what this all pointed to.

"Eh…Rayanne when was the last time you got your period?" she asked carefully.

Rayanne narrowed her eyes at her suspiciously.

"Why do you want to know that?"

" Because I don't mean to freak you out, but….I think you might be pregnant" Angela said seriously. Rayanne looked her disdainfully

"Don't even jinx me, I'm not ." she scoffed. Angela arched a doubtful eyebrow at her.

"Really? Did you listen to all you just told me?" Angela said carefully. Rayanne looked at her like she was crazy.

"Yeah so, but it could something else too"

"Rayanne I'm being serious." Angela said a little more irritably.

"I'm not pregnant so shut up. " Rayanne retorted.

"How can you be so sure?"

"For one, I haven't upchucked in like months ,so that's a positive sign against your theory" she said simply.

"You never did the last time you were pregnant either. And neither did I much when I was pregnant with Jason the first month" Angela said in exasperation.

"Fine, okay. Point taken. But it doesn't mean I am at the same time" Rayanne said huffily.

"Still you can't just ignore this, I mean, are you late?" Angela asked warily.

"Dear God, if I count back will you let it drop and leave me alone." Rayanne exhaled angrily. Angela nodded in agreement and stopped talking without another word. Rayanne relaxed a little and began to count back on her fingers, a mocking smile on her face. As she passed the fourth week her expression fell a little but she wasn't showing much concern really. By the time her fingers had reached week eight, her face had gone deadly white. A choking noise coming from her throat as her eyes widened in terror.

"Oh Fuck!" she gasped "Fucking shit! eight weeks! I haven't had a period in eight weeks, how did I not notice!". Rayanne began to tremble as she buried her head in her hands. Angela looked in unavoidable concern and moved closer beside her . Wrapping an arm around her shaking shoulders ,she tried to calm Rayanne a little.

"Look…. despite the fact the signs kind of point towards it, you don't know for certain. How about we get a test? I'll even take one too" Rayanne looked up at her in desperation , but nodded resolutely in spite of her state of bewilderment. Angela let go Rayanne and stood up, taking her cell phone out her pocket. She took a deep breath and dialed the familiar number.

"Hi Cathy, I know you have the afternoon off but I need you to do one more favor for me". As Angela waited for her assistants answer she sent the calming Rayanne a kind, supportive smile. She was going to be okay.

* * *

Across town Brian sat drumming his fingers on the top of the board room table. He couldn't believe he had been sucked into a business meeting on his weekend off, yet it didn't surprise him. He was lawyer who specialized in media and publishing law, of course he'd be pulled into working a couple of hours in L.A. The meeting was frivolous at best and he wasn't paying any attention to whatever inane detail one of the partners was examining . He had more important issues on his mind, like how the hell he was supposed to face Jordan tonight without wanting to punch him. There was still large part of him so furious at Jordan for doing something so stupid, even if he probably wasn't thinking straight at the time. They'd all been through so much shit, why'd he have to complicate things so irreparably. Brian had been over aspect of the contract Jordan had between the Hewsons and though in theory it was iron tight, he was of the opinion nothing was certain in life except death and taxes. There was always the possibility that something could go wrong.

Every fiber of Brian's conscience told he had tell Angela, but there was still semblance of loyalty he held towards Jordan at the same time. Despite his anger towards his friend, the only fair and decent thing to do was to talk to Jordan himself first. Let him explain before he dropped Jordan into a whole heap of trouble. Brian hadn't told Rayanne, confident that his girlfriend would predictably do something irrational and reckless if she found out before Angela . Boy she going to be pissed at him for keeping this from her, but he had to.

"Mr Krakow what do you think about the idea?" one of the associates said suddenly. Brian looked up in panic for a second, before clearing his throat to regain his composure.

"Eh…..I think it needs work" he said confidently, though having no clue as to what he'd just critiqued. The other members around the table nodded seriously and began to talk about what was needed to improve the plan. Brian breathed out in relief, knowing he was out of danger.

'_Shit that was close_' he thought before letting his mind wander back to what'd been troubling him.

* * *

"Okay do you want to read out the color or what the color means" Rayanne said holding out the test in her hand and box in the other, a confused look on her face. They were both standing in Angela's bathroom, anxiously waiting for the test to be ready.

"I am not touching that after you've peed on it" Angela exclaimed. Rayanne stuck her tongue out and tossed her the box .

"Jeez it's only natural, I changed you son's dirty diapers when he was a baby." Angela gave her a pointed look.

"That was baby pee, this is adult pee. I am not touching it."

A devious smirk broke across Rayanne's mouth and she started sticking the used test in Angela's face. Her friend recoiled in revulsion, not seeing the joke in it at all.

"Ewww… that's so gross. Stop screwing around and tell me what color the damn stick is." she said grumpily. Rayanne sighed but did as requested, her smirk slipping and a scared looking replacing it. She closed her eyes for a second and breathing deeply she turned it over. Rayanne studied it in deep concentration.

"What color is it suppose to be?" she said in uncertainty.

"What color is it?" Angela replied.

"I'm not sure" Rayanne said softly. Angela sighed and looked at the box again.

"It says red is negative and blue is positive, does that help?" Angela said calmly. Rayanne glanced back at the small window in the test and smiled in delight.

"Oh thank fuck it's red!" she exclaimed. Looking across at Angela she exhaled loudly in relief, but after a moment her face scrunched up in confusion when she took a second look at the stick.

"Wait Angela… it's turning purple" Rayanne said completely bewildered.

"What?" Angela laughed in shock "I think you've been sniffing too much ammonia ".

Rayanne strode over and stuck in her face, her eyes growing concerned

"I'm not kidding, it's fucking purple!". Angela's mouth fell open in shock as she really looked closely. It took her a second to vocalize what she saw happening back to Rayanne, because it really wasn't good.

"No Rayanne…it's… it's…..it's turning blue!"she choked out. Rayanne pulled the test away from her and looked at it with added scrutiny. Sure enough the reddish purple was turning steadily more and more blue in color. Rayanne features distorted in panic as she began shaking the test up and down.

"NOOOOOOO! Turn back red. Turn back red!" she cried desperately, but the test continued changing. When the test finally stopped transitioning after a second , it was now an obvious baby blue. Angela was still gaping like an idiot, not quite believing what had just happened. She cleared her throat, still in obvious shell shock.

"I think the test was broken, I mean why would they make it so ambiguous. Red first, purple and then blue." Angela knew she was clutching at straws, but couldn't stop herself blabbing uncontrollably in shock .

"How about you take another one?" she said optimistically , knowing in her heart Rayanne was not going to get the results she wanted.

"I'll even take one, as like, a control or something."

"Fine" Rayanne said in total dejection.

Soon there were used tests strewn across the bathroom floor, each one a vibrant blue with the exception of the one Angela did. The two friends sat with their backs against the wall in total loss and silence ,surrounded by the evidence.

" I've done 5 of those tests and ever single one is blue. It's official, I'm fucking screwed!" Rayanne gulped, emotion beginning to clog her throat. Angela pulled her best friend in closer to her

"It's not the end of the world sweetheart. I mean, you have options." she said delicately. Rayanne's dark eyes watched her with an unreadable expression.

"I don't…..I can't… I felt so guilty when I got the rid of the baby the last time. I just can't go through it again." she said resolutely.

Internally Angela felt relieved by this, but she didn't say it out loud.

"Shit" Rayanne hissed angrily, covering her face with her hands.

"This is a disaster. What the hell am I going to do Angela?"

Angela took a deep breath.

"First of all maybe you should talk to Brian before you go making any final decisions" she said bluntly. Rayanne made an uncomfortable face.

"Brian….fuck he's going to freak out so bad. I don't know how to even begin this conversation…."

"Look, you don't need to say anything yet. Just take some time, have some fun tonight and deal with it tomorrow". Rayanne seemed to relax a fraction.

"He's going to notice if I'm not drinking" she said simply. Angela smiled a little.

"I would offer my services as a stand in for you tonight, but we both know I have no stamina. I get drunk sniffing red wine". A smirk cracked Rayanne's sullen, worried face.

"Just tell him you're not feeling good, like you got food poisoning when we were out today. He'll believe it" Angela added confidently. Before Rayanne could respond they both froze when they heard a familiar voice calling out.

"Angela….Angie, you in there?" Jordan's muffled voice said directly outside the bathroom door. His knuckles knocking on the wood. Angela and Rayanne turned to one another in horror.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT what's he doing home!" Angela hissed "We need to hide the tests".

Clearing her throat she fought to control the shake in her voice.

"Ehhh yeah I'm here….hi you're home early. " Beside her Rayanne had sprung into action, snapping up the offending items as quickly as her hands could manage.

"Yeah we had to come back early ,because the make artist who's doing the fx make up on the band is coming at six." Jordan replied.

Rayanne silently tipped Angela on the shoulder with her arms full of tests, and gave her a panicked look. . It was then Angela saw the bathroom had only one garage can, so utterly small the tests would be totally conspicuous. Angela pointed at the hamper in the corner that held the used towels.

"Eh…..that's good I guess." Angela said cheerfully, helping Rayanne to shove the pregnancy test stick under them. She hoped she could sneak them out tomorrow before someone found them.

"Are you going to be long ? I need to shave before she gets here and my razors in there." Jordan said . Rayanne pointed frantically at the cardboard boxes still all over the floor and they threw them into their purses.

"Ehh…just give me one sec and I'll done." Angela said quickly, her voice a little more high pitched then she'd wanted. Taking one last look at Rayanne, whose cheeks were a telltale red from the stress, they both took a deep breath. Angela steadied herself to hide the anxiety and unlocked the door.

"Hi!" she said in forced brightness as she opened the door fully. Jordan's eyes widened in surprise when he spotted Rayanne behind Angela, her face still showing strain. He looked between them warily, something seemed off about the situation.

"What were you guys doing?" he said in suspicion.

"Nothing. I had to pee and then Rayanne had to go too." Angela said nonchalantly, looking back at Rayanne who nodded in agreement. Jordan arched a skeptical eyebrow , but said nothing. He knew better then to try get an answer of them.

"Right." he said with a smirk. Angela continued to smile amiably, looking between the uncharacteristically quiet Rayanne and the bemused Jordan.

"Anyway I'm going to get ready for the party with Rayanne in her room. Meet you in the lobby at 7.30?"

Jordan nodded.

"Yeah sure ." he replied. Angela press a quick chaste kiss to his mouth and pulled the withdrawn Rayanne out towards the door. Jordan watched them leave completely puzzled. Something was definitely up, but what he didn't really know. He shrugged and went into the bathroom, shutting the door as he tried to figure it all out.

* * *

"Fuck…."

Jordan was just finished shaving when he heard Jason groaning from the other bathroom. He walked in to find his son scowling with tissue sticking all over his chin and a razor in his hand.

"Damn that's some hack job you've done to your face" Jordan laughed.

"Shut up, it's like my second time ever doing this in my life." Jason moaned, pressing a fresh piece of toilet paper over a new spot of blood.

Jordan gave him a mocking smirk, but bit back another teasing comment.

Jason went again to remove some of the thin layer of facial hair on his jaw line, he hissed as he caught himself again.

"You know ,you didn't need to shave. There's only a little bit of fuzz on your face." his father said inoffensively.

"Yeah well I started it, I can't just half shave my face." he replied touchily. Jordan chuckled again.

"True….but if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you before your face is more tissue than skin. It is my job to teach you this stuff anyway." Jason sighed in defeat and put down the razor.

"Fine…..just don't cut me up okay" he said huffily.

"You mean worse than you've done to yourself?" Jordan replied with an arched eyebrow. Jason rolled his eyes at him but said nothing more.

He sat down on the top of the bath and Jordan got to work.

Shane popped his head around the bathroom door a couple of minutes later. His eyebrows rose in surprise at the scene he arrived into. Jordan's brow was set into a deep frown of concentration, a froth cover razor sat in his right hand and he was pushing back Jason's head gently with his left.

"Oops! Sorry to interrupt all the father son bonding" he said with a slight smirk. Jordan smiled back warmly but went back to his task at hand without another word.

"Say…..what time is Colette coming to do the make-up? I thought she said six" Shane said nonchalantly.

"It is only 5.45 man, have patience" Jordan replied with a grin, preoccupied by the final patch of hair on Jason's jaw. Shane shrugged and wandered out towards the couches.

"Mind if I use your bathroom? Regan's been hogging mine and got to pee" he said cheerily.

"Yeah, piss away Lewis" Jason shouted out and Shane sniggered.

"Thanks Junior" he shouted back.

Whistling absentmindedly, Shane browsed nosily through the assortment of beauty products Angela had left on the sink. He picked up a perfume and sniffed it, before replacing it on the counter top. Reaching to get another bottle, his hand brush off a roll of cotton balls and the package tumbled into the laundry hamper. Landing halfway down one side of the basket with a light thump, it nestled underneath .

"Oops" he said sheepishly before leaning down to receive them. But as his hand searched under the towels, his fingers met something slightly damp and plastic. Shane whipped his hand out with a slight yelp in surprise. Pulling out the top towels from the hamper, he was shocked to find a number of used pregnancy test buried underneath. Ninety percent of them the same bright blue.

"Oh…this is priceless" Shane laughed "Jordan you old dog"

Going to the door, Shane cleared his throat.

"Ehmmm….Jordan can come here for a sec?" he said apathetically.

"If this about this weird rash you've been going on about, I'm not looking at your junk again" Jordan replied drolly from his chair opposite the big TV.

"It's not that I swear, just c'mere." he said persuasively.

Jordan got up from the armchair with a tired sigh.

"What?" he said grumpily as Shane closed the door behind them.

"I just wanted to ask you when were gonna tell me about your good news? You know…..the new addition" Shane said with a proud smile. Jordan looked at him strangely.

"Eh what?….I thought you would have known considering it's as much yours as mine" Jordan said pointedly. It was Shane turn to look utterly confounded.

"What? Jordan that's not even possible. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"The good news about the advances sales of the album on iTunes. Why….what the fuck are you talking about?" Jordan said suspiciously .They watched each other guardedly, neither knowing what the other was trying to imply. Shane didn't know if Jordan was being deliberately vague or really was unaware what he'd meant. His confused frown lightened as he became aware Jordan didn't have a clue what was going on, maybe Angela hadn't gotten around to telling him yet. This made him feel a little uncomfortable, like he'd just opened Pandora's box or something.

'Shit' he thought 'why do I always get myself in these positions.'

"Forget it….it's not important" Shane mumbled, trying hopelessly to backtrack. Jordan took one look at his guilty face and knew he was hiding something.

"No! What the hell were you getting at?" Jordan said a little angrily, putting himself between Shane and the door. His friend attempted to side step him, but Jordan blocked his path again. His best friend exhaled heavily.

"Look in the towel basket and you'll get your answer."

Jordan continued frowning but didn't make a further comment before reaching the hamper. His eyes widened when he saw the tests, he pulled all out of the basket instantly to look at them.

"Oh my God they're positive. Every single one" he gulped, thrusting them towards Shane.

"You are aware girlfriend peed all over them" his friend said in disgust , dodging the tests.

"I knew she was hiding something" Jordan hissed "her and Rayanne were acting so weird earlier. Damn it makes sense now, but why didn't she say something?". Shane looked at him sympathetically and shrugged.

"That's something only she can answer" he said simply. Jordan stared at the small plastic sticks in a daze, unsure as to how to feel. The momentary bewilderment was quickly interrupted by an impending reality.

Jason knocked on the door loudly.

"Colette's here" he said. Jordan shoved all but one of the tests back amongst the towels, sticking the other deep in his pocket.

"Yeah. Just gimme a sec" he said distractedly. He looked at Shane for a second.

"Don't tell anyone okay?" he said unhappily. Shane crossed his heart and gave him smile with a light punch to the shoulder.

"Not a word papa bear". Jordan nodded with a harsh sigh and they walked back out of the bathroom to try regain some semblance of normality.

* * *

When they all met in the lobby at 7.30, there was a distinct tension that seemed to surround Angela, Brian, Jordan and Rayanne. All of them seemed distracted, lost in their own thoughts and not really engaging with each other fully. Angela had taken it upon herself to be as cheerful as possible to counteract the less than exultant Rayanne. Though on the surface she was interacting totally with her friends and boyfriend, her attention was taken up with making sure Rayanne was okay. Such was her distraction, she hadn't even noticed Jordan lack of interest over her costume. Jordan always had a thing for red ,so she'd chosen to go as Little Red Riding Hood for the night, complete with a garter, bodice and cape. But Jordan's suspicions had made his focus narrow as he tried desperately to figure out why'd she'd stay silent about such important news. It barely registered in his mind how incredibly enthralling she looked. Angela's overly happy mood did nothing but make Jordan more conscious that there was something she was keeping from him. Like if she pretended hard enough that nothing was wrong, no one would see the barely concealed anxiety beneath the skin. Brian was barely hanging onto his vow to remain tight lipped about the issues that lay below. As soon as he'd met Jordan in the lobby, he'd decided that enough was enough, he was going to confront Jordan tonight. Regardless of the consequences. He had to be patient though and wait for the opportune moment when Jordan was alone. While Brian was adamant to force the truth into the open, he wasn't prepared to fully throw the cat amongst the pigeons.

Shane had initially intended to travel with Jordan to the party, but once he'd encountered the very palpable tension that was radiating off the four friends, he'd excused Regan and himself to travel with Robbie and his wife Sandra in the other limo. He was not getting himself stuck in the middle of this impending maelstrom when it finally broke, he'd learned from his previous mistakes. Jason was similarly aware of an imminent and building storm between his fellow passengers. Unfortunately he didn't have the opportunity to escape the uncomfortable atmosphere like Shane had. All he could do was sit, watch and wait to see who let their mask slip first. It was almost comical to him, this serious undertone that ran underneath their frivolous conversations, especially when they were dressed so ridiculously. In the midst of this obvious awkwardness Jordan was an eerily too calm zombie, his mother an excessively chipper Red Riding Hood, Brian a stoical and stony faced Bugs Bunny and Rayanne was a unexpectedly quiet Wonder woman. It was like a situation out of some deranged surrealist novel or something. Jason just internally took a deep breath and hoped for the best. Maybe they could get out of this night unscathed.

Once they'd gotten past the long line of photographers outside the club demanding their attention, Angela seemed to relax a little. Rayanne on the other hand was looking opposite, her cheeks turning a little green. Pulling Angela close while Jordan and Brian talked to Delia for a second, she whispered in her ear.

"I don't know if it's my shot nerves or sudden fucking morning sickness, but I'm about to throw up". Angela met her eyes and saw she was deadly serious. Angela gave her a understanding nod in return.

"We're just going to go to the ladies before we join the madness. Meet you in five?" Angela said to the guys. Jordan looked as if he was about to protest, but shut his mouth as Brian looked at him with added interest.

"That's fine. Can't go in with out Shane and Robbie anyway." he replied with a forced smile. With that Angela took Rayanne by the hand and led them away.

Brian stiffened a little in apprehension when only he , Jason and Jordan stood alone in the small secluded V.I.P area when Delia left too. Jason was a little way off studying the framed pictures on the walls, while Jordan was staring off in direction of where Angela and Rayanne had left. This pensive grimace on his face. Brian thought about bringing up the contract right there and then. Despite Jason's close proximity, he was almost certain he wouldn't get a better chance than this.

"Jordan…..I need to…talk to you about something" Jordan's gaze switched to him with a slight frown.

"Yeah….what about?" he said curiously. Brian shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably.

"The things is, well, the thing is …well….You know when people are stressed or things happen and they don't think straight…..And sometimes you know ,they just do stupid stuff" Brian babbled and Jordan looked puzzled.

"And it's beyond being just a mistake, you know like buying wallpaper that they know is the wrong colour or whatever. But they buy it anyway, the wallpaper, because at the time it seems the right color, even though deep down they know it isn't really". Brian saw Jordan's blank stare and he internally cursed himself for his lack communication skills. What the hell was he talking about? Jordan was looking at him as if he was crazy and he wasn't wrong to. Where had he gotten this wallpaper analogy from?

"Krakow why are you talking about decorating?" Jordan said tiredly. Brian rubbed the bridge of nose as he tried to regain his thoughts to begin again. Hoping this time it came out a little less convoluted.

"I'm not really talking wallpaper. Look you how sometimes people do things that they know is wrong, but they do it anyway because it seems right in some ways too." Brian said more evenly and Jordan nodded in agreement.

"Well…..recently you see certain things have come to my attention….about people and…"

Just as he began to get the words out of his mouth, Angela arrived back in the room and Jordan's attention had once more shifted away from him.

"Ready to go in" he said with a smile, taking her hand in his.

"Yeah, once Rayanne comes out in a sec." she replied. Jordan looked back at Brian.

"Sorry, what were you saying ?" he said apologetically. Brian sighed.

"Nothing….it's not important" he mumbled. Rayanne came back out to join them, her cheeks a more healthy color as she approached Brian. Seeing his frustrated frown she looked at him with concern.

"You okay?" she said with trepidation, terrified for a second he suspected something.

"Yeah I'm fine, just not looking forward this stupid thing" he replied huffily.

"Just suck it up brainiac, you might actually enjoy it." Shane said from behind them, having now finally arrived. Angela smirked at him before turning back to Jordan.

"You ready for your big moment." she said sweetly.

Despite his anger at her for the secret she was keeping, the evidence burning a hole in his pants pocket, he couldn't help but smile down at her.

"Never more ready in my life" he said contentedly, giving her hand a kiss.

"You look amazing tonight by the way, the costume and all " he added barely above a whisper with a cheeky grin "I'm going to enjoy ripping that bodice off you later" . Angela gave him a salacious wink in return but said nothing. Without any further delay they entered the main area of the club and the fun began.

* * *

A couple of hours later the party was in full swing, the alcohol flowing freely and the guests basking in the energetic atmosphere. Everyone had made the effort to come in costume and the place was buzzing with energy. After some more formal speeches, Echelon had taken to the stage to play a mixture of new tracks and old favorites. Angela had somehow managed to maintain the external appearance of relaxed pride for her boyfriend ,while in reality she was stressed beyond belief. She'd spent the entire performance keeping an eye on Jason, who predictably flirted with every girl he could. Using his good looks, charm and family connections was a devastating combination that drew every young lady he wanted into his orbit. She'd been forced to maintain a watchful eye on his activities ,because the women were more than happy to flirt back unmercifully to the extent to which Angela was concerned it may lead to something illegal. It was not beyond the realm of possibilities for such a young man to seduce such sophisticated older women. And the opposite scenario was just as likely too.

'Boys would always be boys' she thought to herself with a chuckle.

"Like father, like son'.

At the same time as chaperoning Jason, Angela was watching over Rayanne as she worked the room with Brian. She promised to do so in case her friend got another onset of projectile vomiting and had to rush to the bathroom. So far Rayanne was fine, but every so often her face turned a little on the pale side. Somehow she was managing to overcome the compulsion to throw up and maintain the pretense of carefree partying. Angela had juggled all these responsibilities at the same time as supporting Jordan like the perfect girlfriend she was. Yet because of all this self inflicted responsibilities, she was beginning to feel exhausted.

Jordan had kept an eye on her through the entire show, unable to ignore the tell tale signs of anxiety in her eyes. She may have been smiling happily ,but her gaze said something different about what was clearly going on inside her head. Angela kept sharing this look with Rayanne across the crowded room , like an unspoken deep dark secret was passing between them. It made his blood boil that she could tell her friend before him, I mean, whatever happened to their clean slate . Jordan couldn't help but be a little mad about it all, he was the daddy after all, so why did he have to be the last to know? As the first half of the bands performance finished and they went on a break, Jordan was determined to get a definite answer out of Angela right then.

"Shane….do me a favor. Go and talk to Jay for a couple of minutes. I have to talk to Angela" Jordan whispered to his friend as they left the stage. Shane nodded, heading to Regan and then onto Jason without a second glance.

Angela gave him a warm smile as he approached her.

"Wow that was great sweetie." Angela said proudly.

"Thanks" he said a little more seriously than she'd expected.

Angela studied his face for a moment, it was clear something was bothering him.

"Jordan is everything alright ?" she asked hesitatingly.

He took a deep breath.

"I'm fine but, can we go somewhere to be alone for a second? We need to talk." Jordan said honestly, not looking at her fully. Angela didn't like the way he was avoiding her gaze, it made her feel uneasy towards what they were about to discuss.

She nodded solemnly.

"Sure"

Jordan walked slightly ahead of her till they reached the smaller unused function room at the back of the building. It unnerved her that he hadn't turned back to look at her once on their journey. Whatever it was he wanted to talk about, he wasn't fucking around.

"So?" she began with unease "what's going on?"

Jordan sighed harshly and turned back to her with the test in his hand.

"I could ask you the same question. "

Angela nearly choked when she saw the test.

"Where did you find that?" she exclaimed, panic starting to set in. Rayanne was going to flip out.

"The laundry basket along with five more. The answer I want is why you didn't tell me, I thought there weren't going to be secrets between us anymore." Jordan said gruffly.

"It wasn't my place to tell you." she said suddenly.

"Not your place…..then who's is it? I am the damn father." Jordan growled, as he threw he hands up in the air. Angela narrowed her eyes at him in astonishment.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" she shouted back at him.

" I am presuming that I am the only that's slept with you in a while" Jordan bit back caustically. Angela's face screwed up in confusion at him.

"Are you high or something? You are not making any sense."

"Sense! You're the one that told Rayanne before me that you were pregnant." he yelled now getting fully angry. Angela snorted loudly in surprise .

"You think I'm pregnant!"

"Who's could they possibly be then ,when I found them in our hotel bathroom?" Jordan said indignantly.

"Rayanne's, stupid!" Angela laughed at him "How could I even think it was me! We've only been having sex a week."

Jordan's frown immediately disappeared and a look of surprised relief came over him. He hadn't really paid enough attention to the evidence, instead just jumping to conclusions. Of course it was Rayanne. His face screwed up in momentary disgust as he looked at test in his hand, he couldn't believe he carried it around with him all nigh. Jordan tossed it into a nearby trash can without a word, he was seriously going to need to wash his hands. As Jordan retracted his anger, Angela really thought about what he'd accused her of.

"Actually how could you think I wouldn't tell you something like this? I meant it when I said there'd be no more secrets between us" she said a little less light heartedly. Jordan bit his lip as he looked at her guiltily.

"I don't know…I thought maybe you weren't sure about keeping it or something. I'm sorry for freaking out "

Angela's face grew a little darker, she was hurt he could think something like that.

"Maybe it was you that wasn't sure about it? What if it was me?" she said tightly. Jordan's eyes widened and he struggled to find the power to reply.

Angela never got the chance to hear his answer. Her cell phone started to make noise in the inner pocket of her cape. Glaring at him she retrieved it, sighing when she saw Maryanne's number flashing from an SOS text message.

"Duty calls, Rayanne's about to hurl again. But this discussion isn't over Jordan." Angela said in a low voice. Jordan was at a loss as to what to say to improve the situation. She wasn't best pleased with him that was for sure.

"Fine…I won't say anything either, you know, about Rayanne's 'condition'." he said meekly, ashamed he had been so tactless about the it all.

"Good, don't" she said firmly. With that she turned on her heel to meet the approaching and sickly looking Rayanne. Jordan shot her a weak smile of understanding before going back into the party without another word.

* * *

Brian watched from beside Shane and Jason as Jordan walked around the periphery of the heaving crowd towards the mens bathroom. Excusing himself from their company, he knew this was his chance to confront Jordan. Brian waded through the sea of pirates, vampires and scantily clad statuesque beauties, to the other side of the room. By the time he'd made it to the door of the bathroom, Jordan was on his way out .

"Hey! Having a good time?" Jordan said with a friendly smile when he spotted him.

"Yeah not too bad. But it think this bunny costume was a poor choice, I'm melting in that room." he grinned back.

"And that's why I picked to be a zombie, ripped clothes equals better air flow for the Californian heat." Jordan smirked as he swung his arm slowly to demonstrate his point.

"I'll remember that for the next time." Brian said with a laugh.

"Anyway, I have to get back to the party before Frank kills me for not talking to people. My job suck sometimes" he said dryly. As Jordan went to move back down the hallway, Brian blocked his path. Jordan frowned at him in confusion but Brian stayed where he was , the apprehension he felt obvious in his posture .

"Krakow what are you doing?" Jordan said huffily. He'd already had his fill of unhappy surprises and drama today to wear his patience down to a thin layer. All he wanted to do now was escape into the madness of his party.

Brian steadied himself to do what he'd intended to since boarding the plane from New York. This was harder than he thought, but he knew it was necessary.

"Look I have to talk to you, it's really important."

"Okay…." Jordan said cautiously, still staring at him in confusion. Brian drew a deep sigh, stalling for a moment to figure out how to start this conversation.

"So remember earlier I was talking about people…. You know sometimes doing stuff that they….in special circumstances of course which affect their judgment , well do stuff that isn't necessarily right, like …"

"Bad wallpaper" Jordan finished unenthusiastically, hoping Brian would just hurry up and say whatever was bothering him.

"Yeah the wallpaper thing" Brian said hurriedly "anyway….recently you see, I myself, may have uncovered such a scenario. But I can't seem to understand how such a situation has occurred". Jordan's eyes were beginning to glaze over as Brian jabbered on, internally counting down the seconds till he could excuse himself. Despite the appearance of joviality, Jordan desperately wanted to have a nice time before he had to grovel for Angela's forgiveness.

"I mean, the person involved never really does such reckless things usually. Well most of the time. Anyway the repercussions to their unintentional carelessness affects much more than just themselves and…."

"Okay I get it…..look I know you accidentally got Rayanne pregnant and you're freaking out or something, but its really not worth this big moral analysis." Jordan exclaimed over him in frustration.

"This stuff happens all the time and you'll cope, it's not some ethical dichotomy….so calm down." Jordan gave him a friendly smile and gentle punch to the shoulder . He was about to manoeuvre around Brian to get back down the hall when Brian gripped his arms to stop him, his face ashen.

"Hold up, could you repeat that again please? " he squeaked.

"Which part?" Jordan said in annoyance.

"Did you just say Rayanne's pregnant? You were joking right?" Brian said shakily, suddenly feeling unbearably hot.

Jordan gradually took stock of his friend's panicked face and knew what he'd done. Brian never had a clue.

"Oh fuck" he thought, his own mind starting to reel in terror.

What the hell was he supposed to say now after blurting everything out.

"Ehhh….well you see….." Jordan said trying to find the words to salvage the situation.

"Jordan…..did you say Rayanne's pregnant?" Brian repeated, gripping Jordan's shoulders tightly as his knees started to feel weak. Jordan looked at the shit scared and shocked man in front of him and could do nothing but nod in affirmation. Brian left go of his shoulders and took an unsteady step back, looking like he was about to throw up or cry. Everything seemed to be swimming in front of his eyes, becoming less and less real. He felt light headed, rapidly losing control over his consciousness .

"Oh my God….oh my fucking God this isn't happening. My Mom is going…. to.. kill… me…." he trailed off, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head as he fainted.

Jordan only had split second to lean forward to catch him, struggling against to support the bigger man's weight as he slump against him.

"Brian, don't do this to me man" Jordan said tightly, straining to keep them both standing up. This was definitely not how he thought his night would go. Yet fate had decided to smile upon him for once that night and as luck would have it, a few seconds after Brian had passed out, Shane and Jason turned the corner in deep conversation.

"I don't understand why you pulled me away from Candy? She's not even the most forward of them" Jason grumbled.

"Just trust me kid, she's bad news. " Shane smirked as he pushed Jason along toward the bathroom.

"But why? She's like the second hottest girl at this dumb thing after your girlfriend. Why can't I flirt?".

"What the hell does it matter, you have a girlfriend." Shane laughed.

"Doesn't mean I can't window shop" Jason smirked back.

Shane laughed again and caught the boy in a playful headlock.

"You are so like your father sometimes it scares me." Pushing Shane off him, Jason grinned.

"I know, people tell me all the goddamn time. '_Apart from your mothers mouth, you are the carbon copy of Jordan, blah blah blah_" he said sardonically.

"C'mon why can't I hang out with Candy?" Jason added more insistently. Shane leaned in closely.

"She's a hooker." Jason's mouth fell open and he stopped walking , while Shane continued on with a laugh at Jason's shocked expression.

Just then he heard the sound of someone calling his name in a strangled voice.

"Help" Jordan managed to call when he saw Shane just down the hall, his arms beginning to sag with the burning ache in his biceps. Shane's chocolate brown eyes grew huge when he spotted Jordan and Brian.

"What the fuck?" he gasped before racing to his friend. Jason ran down to them too when he snapped out of his trance.

"What the hell did you do to Krakow?" Shane said in disbelief, gripping Brian under the arms to relieve Jordan of his burden.

"Nothing, he just passed out on me." Jordan said weakly bending over, trying to catch his breath as his muscles stung.

"He just passed out, like, out of nowhere?" Jason said in astonishment, looking between Shane and Jordan.

"Okay that's not quite true alright." Jordan said huffily straightening up "Help me move him onto one of these couches and I'll tell you. Jason make yourself useful and go get some damp tissues so we can try wake him up." Jason did as he was told and went into the bathroom.

Jordan gripped Brian's legs, than he and Shane lifted the unconscious man down the hallway and onto a couch.

"I think we better open up this suit . Cool him down or something" Jordan said distractedly, pulling at the zip.

"Jordan what the hell happened? Brian doesn't seem the type to pass out like some overheated girl. I mean did he say something offensive and you took a swing at him?" Shane asked seriously.

Jordan gave his best friend an annoyed scowl.

"What the hell? No! Are you crazy?"

"Then what could have possibly made him just black out Jordan? You obviously did something." Shane replied with equal indignation.

"I accidentally told him Rayanne's pregnant." Jordan mumbled.

"Rayanne and Angela are pregnant!" Shane shouted unintentionally, his eyebrows shooting up all the way to his hairline.

"Mom's pregnant." Jason whimpered, dropping a couple of tissues on the floor in shock. Jordan rubbed at his temple in tiredness and stress.

"No, only Rayanne. The tests we found were hers." he said calmly, looking at them steadily to reassure them.

"And you 'accidentally' told Brian?" Shane asked sceptically.

"He was blabbing on about something and... I thought he was trying to tell me about Rayanne in the most roundabout way possible. Obviously I was wrong!" Jordan said in frustration, placing one of the towels Jason had handed him on Brian's forehead.

"Poor fuck." Shane laughed a little. Jason watched the scene in a haze, this was one of the most weird experiences he'd ever had in his life. Again given the costumes they were wearing, it was like something out of some twisted work of fiction. This was the most fucked up Halloween ever.

* * *

In the ladies bathroom at the other end of the club, Angela knelt beside Rayanne holding her hair as she bent over the toilet. The wet sound of vomit hitting the water below, ringing out in the cramped cubicle.

Angela rubbed her back, hoping that the vile reflex ended soon.

"Ugh…I think I'm done." Rayanne said breathing heavily, moving away from the bowl.

"You sure, we're in no rush." Angela said soothingly, rubbing her friends back again.

"I don't want to go back out there yet, but I think the puking is finished" Rayanne said in exhaustion sitting on the floor , her back against the wall. Angela followed her lead and sat down too.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Rayanne's lip starting to tremble. In their entire friendship, Angela had seen Rayanne cry maybe twice in all those years. She just wasn't the type to breakdown. So as Angela saw tears forming in Rayanne's eyes, she knew it was serious. She wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. Rayanne leaned her head against her shoulder as Angela tried to calm her rising panic.

"Angela this is so fucked up. What am I going to do with a baby? I can't even keep a goldfish alive." she said sadly, her voice shaking.

"Sweetie I am the most clueless person ever and I have managed to raise a relatively sane, smart and beautiful boy ,despite my best attempts to do the opposite." she said with a smile. "You'll be okay".

Rayanne sniffed as she looked at Angela self consciously.

"But what if I'm bad at it, or what if they're neurotic like Brian or…or….more insane then I am?" she said softly. Angela sighed

"Rayanne with yours and Brian's genes ,your kid will be a potent mix of book smarts and street smarts. With enough of a fuck you attitude to tackle their neurosis's and anyone else ." Angela said confidentially. She was relieved to see a small smile grace Rayanne's face. She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes.

"Yeah, my kid would totally rule the playground." she said with a growing grin.

"I'm sure they will, but the first step you have to take is actually telling Brian" Angela said pointedly. Rayanne sighed and stared off into space.

"I know, guess there's no time like the present. You don't think he'll be mad?" she asked with trepidation. Angela shook her head.

"Nah…..he might freak out a little but I think he'll take it well"

"Okay, I guess it's time for me to man up and go tell him" she said humorlessly. They rose to there feet and walked out of the cubicle.

"Thanks Angelika." Rayanne said earnestly, turning back to hug her tightly.

"Anytime Graff".

* * *

"Shit" Jordan hissed after a few minutes "he's still out cold". The tissues hadn't worked, Brian had shown no signs of revival yet. Shane reached over and gave Brian's cheeks a slap on each side. Jordan gave him a confused and angry frown and Shane shrugged.

"It was worth a shot." he said nonchalantly, while Jordan shook his head at him in annoyance.

Jordan's blackberry began to buzz in his pants pocket.

"That must be Frank telling us to get back out there to perform." Shane said grimly.

"Fuck, I can't leave Brian like this. Jason I want you to go stall the show . Shane find Angela and Rayanne." Jordan said firmly.

"Stall them? How the hell do I stall them?" Jason said in exasperation.

"I don't know. Sing a song, do a dance. Just stall them for ten minutes." Jordan retorted angrily, his stress levels rising.

"And stay away from Candy." Shane added with a smirk.

"Definitely stay away from Candy or you'll end up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but a sombrero and pineapple, like Shane did." Jordan snorted despite the seriousness of the situation. Shane gave him a withering look as he rose to his feet to find Rayanne ,as Jason roared with laughter.

"Thanks Jordan" he said unsmilingly, pushing Jason back down the hall in embarrassment as the boy tried to catch his breath.

"Anytime amigo, anytime." Jordan shouted after him.

* * *

Angela and Rayanne had just made it back out onto the loud heaving dance floor when they spotted Jason up on the stage. The sight they saw stopped them in their tracks.

"Rayanne am I mistaken or is that my son on the stage trying to do the dance from Thriller?" Angela said in incredulity.

"Nope. That is Jason dancing." Rayanne replied in similar disbelief, as they watched his woeful attempts at dancing. People were cheering him on and joining in with him on the dance floor.

"What is he doing?" Angela exclaimed completely stumped.

"I don't know ,but it's hilarious" Rayanne laughed

"Where is Jordan or Shane, why are they letting him debase himself?" she said in embarrassment, trying to hide her face as people smirked at her knowing she was his mother. Rayanne sniggered as Jason did a particularly energetic move.

"There you guys are." Shane said in relief as he came up beside them.

"Why the hell is Jason up there dancing like a moron?" Angela said sulkily, pointing to the stage. Shane shook his head.

"No time to explain, we have a situation and I need you to come with me." Angela and Rayanne shared a look, but followed Shane without another word.

* * *

Rayanne was the first to react when they reached Jordan and Brian.

"What the hell happened?" she panted as she ran up to them. Jordan had managed to free Brian from the waist up from his costume, his white tee-shirt now exposed. Jordan looked up at Rayanne sheepishly, she was going to kill him. Angela looked down at her friend in concern as she stood beside Rayanne.

"He fainted." he said quietly.

"But why?" Rayanne spluttered. Jordan stared at the floor uncomfortably, a pained expression on his face. Angela knew immediately what that look meant.

"Please Jordan tell me you didn't." she said with foreboding.

"Didn't what?" Rayanne said confusedly looking between them.

Jordan say anything and looked at Angela pleadingly.

"Jordan told Brian you were pregnant." Angela said angrily.

"He did what! You asshole" Rayanne exploded. She turned back to Jordan and thumped him in the shoulder, trying to hit him in the face as he dodged her fists.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." he said apologetically as Angela managed to restrain Rayanne after she'd shoved him to the floor.

"Fuck Catalano you are the biggest douche-bag I have ever met." she roared starting to cry again "How could you do this?"

"He was babbling about something and I thought he was talking about you and him, so I said I already knew. Next thing I know the guys out cold" Jordan said desperately. Angela glared at him.

Rayanne twisted herself free from Angela's grip and turned around to face her.

"Why'd you have to tell him?" she said totally enraged, hot tears falling down her cheeks.

"He found the tests, what was I supposed to say" Angela replied in exasperation. Rayanne looked back at Shane.

"I guess you know too, and Jason?" she said bitterly. Shane nodded and looked down at his feet.

"Great" she said in an furious whisper "just perfect." They all stood there for a minute unsure of what to next. The tension so thick that it could have been cut with a knife.

"Uhhhh….where am I" Brian said groggily, finally opening his eyes. Jordan breathed out in relief.

"You're still in the club, you just passed out buddy." he said amiably. Brian's eyes seemed to focus as he remembered what had happened.

"Rayanne." he whispered hurriedly, sitting up on the couch.

"Right here Jackass" Rayanne said nervously.

Brian froze as his gaze fell on her.

"Is it true? Are you…"

"Pregnant?" Rayanne finished for him "yeah" she gulped.

Everyone else held their breaths to see what Brian's reaction would be, feeling a little awkward to witnessing such an intimate moment.

"Wow" he said quietly in disbelief, his eyes wide. Looking back up at Rayanne, a smile began to spread across his face "An actual baby. That's…amazing" he said in genuine happiness.

"Really?" she said in slight doubt, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"Yeah, it's a huge shock. But I don't know,it's a great one" he said more encouragingly.

"You're not mad or scared" she said a little more animatedly.

"I'm terrified, but honestly couldn't be happier" Brian replied now beaming at her. Jordan couldn't help but smile as Rayanne's own face broke out into a delight and relieved grin, before rushing over to hug him. Rising him to his feet, Jordan motioned for Shane and Angela to leave them in privacy.

"I'm glad that's over, at least Jason can stop entertaining the crowd with his terrible dance moves" Shane laughed when they were further down the hall.

"Poor kid" Jordan smiled wryly as Shane ran ahead to take over from Jason. He turned to Angela and his happiness slipped a little as he was met by an icy glare.

"Emmm….what's wrong?" he said in confusion.

"I'm so mad at you right now, you're damn lucky that all turned out okay" she said in a low voice. Jordan looked at her in exasperation.

"Oh come on, you know I didn't mean to do any of that. It was an mistake" Angela pushed passed him.

"You still did it Jordan." she said in annoyance before walking off to the dance floor toward Jason.

"Angela….Angela come on, that's not fair. Angela?" he called after her, but she stalked off with out a second look back to him.

* * *

The second half of their performance was going better than Jordan had initially thought considering the emotionally turmoil he and Shane had witnessed . The crowd was being very receptive and the studio executives were looking very pleased with themselves. Things it seemed had worked out alright in spite of the curve-balls they'd been thrown tonight. Rayanne and Brian had left not long into the performance, both looking exhausted but contented in themselves. Rayanne had given him a wink as they left and he knew his little hiccup had been forgiven. Jordan was grateful when they'd both gone to Angela near the back of the club to reassure her that she was forgiven too. Maybe something positive could be salvaged for them from this slightly disastrous night. When Jordan's eyes met Angela's she gave him a half smile. It was progress, but he wasn't totally absolved yet of his crimes. He smiled to himself as he knew exactly how to make it up to her.

"Alright everyone having a good time. We're going to bring down the tempo a little for this next track, so if you have a special someone to dance with, just do it."

Angela watched with added interest as the roadie handed Jordan an acoustic guitar.

"Angela Chase I need you to come up here to help on this one if you'd please" Jordan said with a grin.

Angela's face went bright red as she saw the small upright piano being wheeled out. She was going to murder him for this. He was such an asshole, a sweetie at heart, but a gigantic asshole all at the same time. She rolled her eyes and walked through the crowd to the raised stage with a smirk on her face.

"I'm going to kill you for this, you know I get stage fright." she whispered in his ear as terror took hold in her chest.

"It's only me and you up here Angie, just play to me" he whispered affectionately. Angela took a deep breath and walked to the piano. Jordan came and stood directly in her eye line, blocking her view of the crowd. She gave him a weak smile, closed her eyes and began to play. A few seconds later Jordan started to play on the guitar, and soon his melodious voice began to sing. The song was only for her.

"No warning sign, no alibi  
We faded faster than the speed of light  
Took our chance, crashed and burned  
No, we'll never ever learn

I fell apart, but I got back up again,  
And then I fell apart, but got back up again,  
yeah"

From the side of the stage Jason stood smiling at the two of them on the stage together, oblivious to everyone else. It made his heart swell in happiness and he hoped that things would always be this way. That all three of them could be this perfectly happy together. For the first time ever since they had become a couple ,Jason really believed that they could work out. In that moment hehad never loved either of his parents more.

* * *

It was close to two in the morning when they collapsed on their bed in the hotel suite, totally and utterly exhausted.

"Wow that was an insane night" Jordan said tiredly.

"Yeah….I hope your next launch party won't be that intense" Angela laughed a little, pulling off her red cape.

"Fuck me too" Jordan snorted "Do you think the new material went down well?" he asked self consciously. Reaching over to his face, Angela ran her thumb along his cheek with a proud smile.

"They loved it Jordan as much as I do" she said tenderly. Jordan smiled back at her and kissed her palm.

"Thank you." he said softly. They stared at one another for a few seconds in contentment. Jordan sighed and looked down as he spoke after a moment.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I royally screwed up." he said sincerely.

"Nah…..it was an accident. In retrospect it is a little funny" Angela replied with a smile "Rayanne even saw the funny side of it ." Jordan looked at her and saw she was telling the truth,

"Still I shouldn't have acted like that, I was being an asshole."

"It was understandable you'd be pissed if I had told Rayanne before you" Angela said considerately. Jordan frowned as he thought for a second.

"I wouldn't have minded if it had been your test, if it was us having the kid" he said seriously, looking deep into her eyes.

"Really?" Angela said in surprise, propping herself up to look at him better. Jordan gave her a half-smile.

"Well….yeah. The first one turned out so great, why not when the times comes." Angela gave him one of those rare wide smiles that filled her entire face, practically beaming at him as bright as the sun. She leaned to kiss him happily.

"Seriously, can you stop being so damn perfect all the time? You're making me look bad" she said with enthusiasm, pressing another kiss to his mouth. He turned them both so he was now on top of her, kissing her back with gusto.

"Does this mean I get a reward?" he asked flirtatiously, pulling at the strings of her bodice with an enticing grin.

"Jordan…..we have no doors. Remember" she grinned back.

"Bathroom?" he said jokingly with an arched eyebrow. Angela thought about it for a second.

"Screw it, lets go" she said suddenly. Jordan's eyes widened.

"Wait….are you being serious?" he choked out.

"Yeah….so shut up before I change my mind" she said deviously, getting up from the bed and leading him out of the room.

Jordan smiled to himself, this was why he loved Halloween. There was something about the trickster nature of the holiday that seemed to loosen everyone's morals, he grinned as he realized morals were not the only things he was going to enjoy loosening tonight. For every trick that had to be played on Halloween night, there invariably needed to be a treat.

* * *

It was close to five am when Brian's cell phone rang out loud beside his and Rayanne's hotel bed.

"Brian I swear if you don't stop that stupid phone I will shove it up your ass" Rayanne moaned into her pillow groggily.

Extracting himself from the warm covers he reached over and got the offending machine.

"Sorry" he whispered back to her tip toeing to the bathroom.

"Hello" he said sleepily down the receiver.

"Good morning Mr Krakow, this is Mr Scott from Osborne and Frazier in Connecticut. I apologize for calling you so early."

It took a moment for Brian's brain to catch up.

"Oh Mr Scott the private detective." he said more brightly.

"Yes that's me." the man laughed on the other end.

"I was just returning your call about the inquiry you left with my secretary."

"Well thank you, sorry I am a little out of it. It's five am here."

"I really am sorry for waking you. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to take on this investigation for you, to check on this couple. Right?" Mr Scott asked to affirm the deal.

"Yeah the Hewsons ,they are involved with a client of mine and…." Brian began.

"You don't need to explain Mr Krakow, my business is built on discretion so you don't need to justify your actions. I'll have it done by early December."

"Thank you Mr Scott, I look forward to working with you" Brian said politely before hanging up. Holding the cell phone in his hand Brian wasn't sure what he was getting himself into, but like always he knew it was necessary. Going back to his bed he wondered, in light of recent developments in his life, was it wise to finish what he'd started. Maybe some things were meant to stay buried.

_**So that's the end for now. I'll try have my next chapter done quicker next time. If not I hope everyone has a happy holiday season. If you've any constructive criticism or ideas don't hesitate to review or message me. :-)**_


	21. Cause and Effect

_**Hello readers, it has been a while :-) I apologise for the 6 week+ wait for this chapter but I've been insanely busy. Thank you to everyone that favourited, story alerted and reviewed the last chapter**_, **_particularly the one who gave me all the legal advice! That was very helpful ;-) I hope everyone enjoys this new installment, it is full of dramatic goodness. PLEASE review if you like it, because if you don't I get a little discouraged :-(_**_** Seriously I honestly do get disheartened. Hope to have the next chapter up quicker.**_

_**Until next time.**_

_**-RedCatCatalano **_

* * *

The first of the cold pre-Winter wind began to blow through the great city of New York ,as in each borough everyone was busy preparing for the next day. In bakery kitchens all across the Manhattan, the warm smell of cooking pies to be sold bright and early tomorrow morning, wafted out onto the street to tempt all the passer-by's. Last minute turkeys were being sold, while grocery stores struggled to keep up with the high demand for emergency supplies of cranberries and potatoes. The atmosphere was heavy with excitement as distant relatives and rarely seen grandparents, cousins, sons and daughters, flew into the hectic airports to join their swelling family circles. Thankful they could be with the ones they loved for even one day .

Even high above the hustle and bustle in their penthouse apartment, the preparations for Thanksgiving were sending everyone a little mad. Unlike the years before when only Patty, Angela and Jason had spent the day together, the number of people joining them this year had grown exponentially. Jordan had invited Shane and Regan, while Angela had invited Rayanne, Brian, Rickie and Jack. Danielle had also flown into La Guardia with her boyfriend Sartan from Paris to join the celebration for the first time in decades. Coupled by the fact Dr. Rogers was also spending the day, made this a day of many firsts that no could have predicted months before.

When all the invitations had been extended, including Angela's now elderly maternal grandparents, the dinner party was set at fifteen. Nine of which were set to be staying in Jordan's apartment for the weekend. To say the situation was now bordering on chaos would have been an understatement. But as was to be expected, Patty had taken it upon herself to take control of the turbulent state of affairs, over seeing every minor detail of the preparation diligently. Despite her well documented lack of cooking prowess, Patty had taken the lead in the meal preparation, dutifully delegating chores to her grandson, daughter and Jordan. While Jason and Angela had both bemoaned the monotonous tasks they'd been given, Jordan had accepted the assignment of peeling thirty potatoes with a surprising amount of glee and enthusiasm.

"Dad's cheerfulness is really starting to freak me out, I mean, who is that excited by potatoes?" Jason mumbled dryly as worked beside his mother. Angela smirked and glanced over to Jordan, who was whistling happily to himself as he did his job.

Jason and Angela observed Jordan's good humour in slight bemusement, not quite understanding how he could enjoy such a mind numbingly repetitive task. Jordan just shrugged at their bewilderment and continued on in unwavering eagerness.

Jason pouted more deeply as his attention turned back to the boring task he been saddled with.

"Seriously why do we do this every year? Can't we hire a caterer to do all this stuff like everyone else in this building probably does?" he moaned as he and his mother tried half heartedly to chop the carrots. Patty shot him a disapproving grimace.

" You'll be more thankful when we eat the food tomorrow because you'd a hand in preparing it. It'll taste better, like it does every year" Patty said firmly.

"What, like overdone turkey and singed vegetables?" Danielle said dryly as she walked into the kitchen with a smirk. Angela sniggered while their mother gave them both a withering look.

"Not helpful Danielle." she said tightly.

"What? I'm only being honest" Danielle smirked "Mom you have many wonderful skills, cooking just isn't one of them. Isn't that right Ange?".

Angela tried not to smile before she answered.

"Technically speaking she's right Mom, we did have to carve the turkey up raw last year because it was too big to fit in the oven ."

"You ordered the stupid thing" her mother replied touchily.

"Or there was the year you set pumpkin pie on fire…." Jason added with a cheeky grin. Patty threw her eyes up to heaven.

"Everyone's a critic, isn't that right Jordan" she said with feigned indignation . Jordan nodded and smiled in return.

"I'm sure it'll be delicious Patty" he said amiably.

"See, why can't you all be as complimentary as Jordan" she said smugly, pressing a motherly kiss on his cheek. Jason rolled his eyes, while Angela smirked in humour .

"He's nothing but a kiss ass" she said affectionately. Jordan stuck his tongue out at her in reply before giving her a cocky grin.

"Please say Jack's at least bringing something to salvage this culinary disaster." Danielle muttered as she popped a freshly cut carrot into her mouth.

"I think he made pie thank god" Angela replied grabbing a piece of carrot too. Patty scoffed loudly in now genuine annoyance.

"Since you two are so certain of this meals impending failure, I have no use for your negativity in this kitchen." she said sternly. Angela and Danielle both brightened considerably.

"You can go pick up your grandparents from the airport instead" Patty added with a devious smirk. Both girl's faces fell as they groaned.

"What! Nooo!" they both shouted in unison.

"You heard me, both of you go get Grandma and Grandpa Woods" Patty said again resolutely.

"AWWWW…..why can't Angela just go by herself? They'll just keep asking me why I'm not married yet" Danielle complained. Angela gripped her sister at the elbow and pulled her towards the stairs.

" And that is why I am NOT picking them up from JFK by myself, you're coming too" Angela hissed loudly, leading her sister away.

"You are so mean, why'd you have to be the most inconsiderate person ever" Danielle grumbled as she got dragged down the stairs.

"Because I'm older and…..shut up." Angela huffed petulantly. Danielle dragged her feet but relented to Angela's insistent motion, slowly thumping down the wooden steps.

"You shut up" she muttered moodily.

"You know, it doesn't matter how many years pass. Those two still act like a pair of seven year olds when they get together." Patty sighed as the noise of the two sisters continual bickering reached the kitchen. Jordan just grinned and shook his head, offering no defence or comment. He was going to remind Angela of her childishness the next time she accused him of being immature.

After a short while Jason began to yawn uncontrollably. Patty's busy frown softened as she looked at her grandson's sleepy face.

She reached over and stilled the knife in his loosening grip.

"It's ok Jason, you've done enough tonight. Go to bed." she said soothingly. Jason didn't need any further invitation, nodding in agreement he gave her a kiss goodnight and wandered down the nearby corridor to his room.

"Night Jay" Jordan called after him. Jason grunted something in reply and kept going.

"You want me to finish them, the potatoes are all done anyway." Jordan said pointing towards the still large pile of vegetables.

Patty's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"You finished them already?" she said in disbelief.

Jordan nodded shyly with a slight smile.

"I'm impressed. We'd be finished all the prep by now if everyone had worked as diligently as you ."

Jordan blushed a little and avoided her approving gaze.

"It's nothing really. . It's my first Thanksgiving at home and I guess I just want it to be special ." he said quietly.

"Your first thanksgiving in New York or….?" Patty asked with out thinking.

"Ever." Jordan said as he looked back up at her sadly " My family never really did big occasion when I was a kid. The day was like any other really".

Patty knew from experience that Jordan was not one who wanted pity for what had happened to him as a child. Any show of sympathy made him feel uncomfortable and so she tried not to show the lump that began to rise up in her throat as she looked at him.

"Well this year you'll get to see how awful a big family thanksgiving is like" she said as cheerfully as she could despite feeling the exact opposite. Jordan gave her a smile and began to chop the remaining carrots.

"I'm looking forward to it" Jordan said happily. Patty fought the motherly urge to hug him tightly ,as he carried on merrily with his task.

She would never understand how anyone could have been so cruel to such a sweet boy. Even now when she looked at him, a man heading towards his mid-thirties, all she saw was this often lost little boy searching for a family to love him. Ever since he'd come tumbling into her life all those years ago ,she'd always felt an innate need to take of him as if he was one of her own. He may have caused so much hurt in her daughter's life, but Patty didn't have a bone in her body that disliked Jordan Catalano. It was impossible for her not to feel protective of him. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes as she thought about what he'd said. At age thirty three he was only just about to have first Thanksgiving. Life had not given him much to be thankful for in a long time. Patty cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes.

"I'm just going to check my parent's room is ready for them, you okay just to keep going with this?" Patty said a little hoarsely as her voice seemed to waiver. Jordan nodded and gave a reassuring smile. Patty sighed and headed up the stairs to one of the guest rooms. As she closed the door firmly, at last her tears of sympathy were allowed to briefly break through her defences.

* * *

It was midnight before Angela and Danielle got back to the apartment with their grandparents in tow.

"I swear if he asks me once more when I'm going to go get a grown up job, I'm gonna go insane." Danielle whispered gruffly as they pulled the cases into the lobby.

"At least they haven't been suggesting nice places to have a Spring wedding for the last hour. I get the hint okay" Angela hissed back in equal annoyance.

"Holy moley this is some big place your fella's got here" Grandpa Woods said clearly impressed as he stepped out of the service elevator and into the kitchen.

"Hope he's not compensating for something with such an ostentatious place" he added impishly with a smirk. Danielle couldn't stop a short burst of laughter escaping when she saw Angela's disgusted face.

"I'm really not comfortable answering that question" she said dully, her cheeks going red.

"I'll take that as a yes. Right?" Chuck Woods said roguishly.

Vivian rolled her eyes at her husband.

"Stop being so crass Chuck and leave the child alone." she said sternly. Angela gave her grandmother a smile of thanks and set the bags down by the foot of the stairs.

"Now where is that gorgeous great grandson of mine, I haven't seen him in so long" Vivian said brusquely, looking around the room.

"I sent him to bed about an hour ago, poor thing was worn out" Patty said coming out of the living room with a smile.

"Worn out from what?" Angela said with a laugh "all he did today was cut some vegetables and play Xbox.".

Patty just ignored her and went to greet her parents properly with kisses.

"It's good to see you guys." she said warmly, hugging each one affectionately.

Angela scanned the area for Jordan with a growing frown.

"Where's Mr Cheerful? I need him to carry the bags up."

"I think he's upstairs" she replied nonchalantly.

Angela sighed tiredly as she walk off to the staircase.

"Be right back".

Angela grinded to a halt as she spotted Jordan out on the patio, staring off into the city as he leaned motionlessly on the wall. His face was pensive and it was obvious he was deep in thought. Angela was curious as to what he was doing out there all alone in the middle of the night. She shivered a little as the cold hit when she went outside, the winter temperatures biting at her skin . Jordan's face softened when he turned and saw her, a friendly smile stretching across his mouth.

"Hey." she said softly as she made her way across.

"Hi" he replied.

"Damn it's freezing out here" Angela laughed a little as she rubbed her arms.

"They said it might snow tomorrow if they temperature keeps falling" Jordan said simply, wrapping his jacket around them both when he saw how cold she was. Angela circled her arms around him to warm herself further, slipping her hands under his shirt and onto his warm back. Jordan jumped for a second at the shock of her cool hands touching his skin.

"Sorry, cold hands" she said sheepishly. Jordan just gave her a small smile and held her closer, glad to have her near for the first time that day.

"It's okay, I don't mind" he said huskily. Angela beamed up at him and pressed a brief kiss to his ever willing mouth. He was a little disappointed when she pulled back almost immediately, looking up at him inquisitively.

"So what were you doing hiding out here by yourself?" she said sweetly. Jordan shrugged indifferently.

"I wasn't hiding, just needed to think ."

"About what?"

Jordan shifted in front of her a little uncomfortably.

"Just stuff…." he said quietly, looking of into the night for a second.

"People…." he mumbled distractedly.

"Pete?" Angela suggested. Jordan met her eyes for a second before nodding seriously.

"I thought you guys made up after your fight" she said with concern.

"It's not that…..I…just today is my first ever official family Thanksgiving and it's a big deal and…I don't know. I'm just bummed he can't be here too".

Angela moved her hand to his face to run her thumb along his cheek tenderly.

"This won't be your only Thanksgiving Jordan, in a couple of years he'll be sitting at the ridiculously crowded dinner table too. That is unless you're planning on disappearing or something…." she teased with a smirk. Jordan's dark expression softened and he grinned in return.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm like herpes or something .Once you have me, you have me for life, no matter how hard you try to get rid of me " he replied cockily. Angela gave him a unenthusiastic sigh, trust him to ruin a perfectly lovely moment.

"I was going to kiss you again but since you insist on being gross I'm not…..".

Jordan leant down midway through her sentence, capturing her mouth with his own with a self-assured smirk. Angela purred contentedly as he nipped at her lip, her hands slipping up the inside of his jacket to rest at the base of his neck. Somewhere in her mind she remembered how much she hated when he did this, interrupting her with such searing kisses that she'd almost forget her own name. She'd get him back somehow, if she remembered how to speak that is.

Pulling back with an arrogant grin Jordan cocked an eyebrow at her.

"You were saying?"

Angela eyes were still a little glazed as she found the ability to speak again.

"You're an ass…" she said caustically, poking him in the chest.

Jordan laughed and just pulled her into a affectionate cuddle.

"Sorry. I'm trying to mend my ways" he said jokily, his grin never leaving his face as he leaned his head against hers.

"Yeah, I'm sure you are" she said sarcastically.

Angela gently pushed him away from her after a second.

"C'mon, you've got work to do. My grandparents are downstairs and I need to take up their bags." she said firmly.

A shadow seemed to cross Jordan's face and he looked almost nauseous. As Angela began to walk towards the apartment again she noticed almost immediately the sudden dip in his good mood . She stopped and watched him with interest.

"Right….yeah. I forgot they were here" he said uneasily, shoving his hands in his pockets. Angela had seen this look before, and quickly suspected he was not keen to leave the safe confines of his roof. Her suspicions were confirmed as Jordan began to bite at the nail of his right thumb. She smiled at him compassionately as she realised what had unnerved him. He was nervous about meeting them, Vivian and Chuck. It was kind of adorable he was afraid of her two frail and elderly grandparents, that he cared enough about their opinions to be worried.

Angela walked back over to Jordan and took him by the hand, linking their fingers together. She did not let him know what she knew, he'd be too embarrassed if she brought it up.

"C'mon…..Grandma Viv really wants to meet you" she said sweetly. Jordan's anxious face relaxed a little and he silently let her lead him away.

Jordan stood a foot or two behind Angela as the formal introductions took place, trying hard not to show how awkward he found this.

"So this is Jordan Catalano" Chuck said with a smile as he extended his hand "Nice to finally get to meet you".

Jordan took it with a half smile and shook the old man's hand confidently.

"Good to meet you too" he replied politely.

"Good steady handshake you've there son, not like that limp handed thing Graham Chase used to do. It should have been a good enough sign he was an unmitigated coward, but you….maybe you're going to be a keeper" Chuck said with disregard for any decorum.

Jordan frowned a little in confusion as to what to reply, while Angela cringed a little. Patty gritted her teeth at the Graham comment quietly seethed at the other end of the room.

"Thanks I guess" Jordan said bemusedly. Vivian Chase then took a step forward and stared at him with scrutiny, not saying a word. Jordan glanced over at Angela in bewilderment, feeling a little helpless by the old woman's piercing gaze.

"It's nice to finally meet you Mrs Wood's" Jordan said uneasily, before leaning forward and kissing the elderly woman's worn cheek. Vivian didn't respond for a second, still seizing him up to make her initial judgement.

"You're more handsome in person than in pictures" she said after another few uncomfortable seconds.

"I can see why you like him" she added as she gave her granddaughter a sly smile . Jordan blushed brightly, while Angela smiled proudly.

"He is quite the looker" Angela said teasingly as she caught Jordan embarrassed expression. They all stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do next.

"Now everyone's been introduced, how about we go get you settled for the night?" Patty suggested, breaking the growing feeling of tension.

"I'll go get the bags" Jordan said more calmly, glad the first part was over.

"I hope you'll be comfortable enough in here, the mattress is one of those special orthopaedic ones" Jordan said simply as he laid down the suitcases. Chuck sat down on the bed to test it out, while Patty and Angela helped her grandmother hang their coats in the closet.

"Yes this will do very nicely" Vivian replied civilly, giving Jordan and appreciative smile.

"Anyway it's getting late, time for all of us to hit the hay I think" Patty said with a yawn.

"Before you all go there's one thing I have to ask" Vivian said seriously, looking between Jordan and Angela.

"Yeah what is it?" Jordan said attentively, sharing a look with Angela.

"Excuse my frankness dear ,but I have to ask…..what are your intentions for my granddaughter?" she said with the deepest sincerity.

Jordan gaped at her like a fish for a second, while Angela spluttered loudly in surprise.

"Excuse me" he said in shock.

"Well I was just wondering when are you going to make an honest woman out of her? You already stole her virtue, so I assume at some stage you intend to marry her " Vivian said directly. Angela covered her face with her hands in humiliation, wishing for the ground to swallow her up at that second. This was a disaster. Patty's mouth had dropped open at the audacity of her mother and was finding difficult not to gawk in mortified surprise.

Jordan's blood had ran cold at the question, how was he supposed to answer that?

"Well….I…don't, I mean…." he tried to respond ,but not finding any appropriate words.

"Mother, having a baby doesn't necessitate marriage these days. Especially ones coming from teenage relations. Let them do their own thing" Patty said crossly, trying to save Jordan the indignity of having to reply.

"I don't see how this is such a strange question. They've had their fun apart, rutting their way through their twenties. Now that all that is out of the way , isn't it plausible to consider settling down? They already have the child" Vivian said nonchalantly. Angela nearly choked when her grandmother had said 'rutting'. This was actually one of the most excruciatingly embarrassing experiences of her life. Jordan looked as if he was about to vomit in fear, but in some small way a part of her wanted to know his answer. Because in truth, it wasn't that ridiculous of a question. Angela would have been lying if she said she didn't think about it sometimes, where they were heading. Part of her wondered what Jordan saw in the future for them .

"Viv leave the boy alone, he'll ask her when he's ready" Chuck sighed "isn't that right ".

Jordan just gulped and nodded with a watery smile.

The tension seemed to grow thicker as Jordan and Angela actively avoided looking at one another.

"Well…anyway let's call it a night before this gets anymore awkward." Patty said sardonically. Jordan left first without another word, panic still obvious on his face. Before Angela could follow suit, her grandmother caught her by the hand.

"I'm sorry for making you and your boyfriend uncomfortable, you know I've only got your best interest at heart." Angela nodded and gave her a smile of understanding.

"I know you do, goodnight grandma. Night Grandpa". With that she left the room without a second glance, still feeling flushed from the incident.

Shutting the door behind her quietly when she reached Jordan's room, Angela gave him an apologetic smile.

"Well that couldn't have been more awkward" she dryly as she approached the bed.

Jordan gave her a sardonic smirk as he pulled off his boots.

"I've had worse" he said kindly.

"I'm sorry…..my grandmothers a little old school sometimes." she said ruefully. Jordan shrugged indifferently.

"It's nice she cares that much, you don't need to apologize. It just took me by surprise that's all, I wasn't expecting her to be so outspoken" Jordan laughed quietly.

"Yeah…..plus we don't need to talk about that stuff for a long time. Right?" she replied hesitantly, hoping maybe it open onto a discussion on where they both saw this going. Unfortunately Jordan didn't take the bait. He knew what she was trying to do and wasn't ready tackle anything that serious, at least not anytime soon.

"Yep, we have plenty of time in the future for that" he said nonchalantly. Angela sighed in obvious disappointment but was grudgingly glad that he hadn't taken the situation too seriously.

Jordan's expression grew mischievous as she looked at him.

"Hey….want to engage in some dirty premarital sex while we still can. You know, before they make us have a shotgun wedding or something" Jordan said with a playful grin. Angela snorted loudly and collapsed on the bed in a fit of laughter.

"It think it's a little late to call it a shotgun wedding "she hiccupped between giggles.

"Fine, lets just have the premarital sex then" he grinned.

Angela's smile grew broad as she laughter harder.

"Did anyone ever tell you, you have the _worst_ one track minds ever" she replied knowingly.

"All the time, but you enjoy it really" Jordan said with a more seductive grin as he lay down beside her. His fingers beginning to trace small, delicate circles just the top of her thighs that made her shiver a little in pleasure.

"Remind me to expand your horizons some time " Angela said mockingly as he pulled her in towards him , his eyes beginning to darken with a predatory glint as his hands slip up to rest on her butt.

"Tomorrow you can expand my horizons, right now lets just focus on one thing" he said even more enticingly, giving her a deep kiss. "Fine with me" she replied, smiling against his mouth as she pushed his shirt of his shoulders and kissed him back eagerly. He was almost irresistible to her when he turned on the charm like this, not that she was exactly complaining. Angela still couldn't believe at times she got to wake up to this insanely beautiful man every morning. Just the very thought of his smouldering blue eyes was enough to make her knees weak. Tomorrow she could be didactic but, right now she just wanted to have fun. Lots of fun. And Jordan was more than willing to grant her request.

* * *

Angela was a little confused when she woke the next morning to find Jordan's side of the bed cold and empty. It was just passed seven in the morning and Jordan never usually got up before nine. Pulling on one of Jordan's t-shirts and a pair of his boxers from the drawer, she padded out into the hallway to go find him. She didn't go far when she once more spotted him out on the rooftop patio.

He was on talking in the phone, a heavy frown covering his face. Angela couldn't heard what he was saying , but by the animated way he spoke, she knew he was pissed off at the caller. She didn't dare go out to him. Partly because the light dusting of snow everywhere would make her freeze, but mostly because Jordan had obviously wanted to keep the conversation private. The very fact he was pacing up and down outside by himself was proof enough of this. As Angela watched Jordan, he began to go red in the face in frustration, his jaw jutting out and his teeth gritting together. He started shouting down the receiver, his eyes flashing angrily . She hadn't seen him this mad in a long time and it unnerved her. When Jordan truly lost his cool, he became animalistic and it was not a sight she enjoyed seeing. After a second Jordan threw his phone full force against the opposite wall and pulled at the hair at the back of his head. A hopeless look seemed to enter his eyes as he exhaled in defeat, seeming to calm a little in the process. The unmistakable shape of 'fuck' was made on his lips before he bent down to pick up his cracked cell phone. As he rose he caught sight of her standing beside the glass door, a concerned look on her face. Angela couldn't help but notice the scared look that entered his countenance when he saw her, like she was the last person in the world he wanted to witness what had happened. He waved and gave her a weak smile as he internally cursed himself. Jordan tried his best to appear carefree as he walked back inside, brushing the small amount of tiny snowflakes off his shoulders, but Angela could see he was far from okay.

"Good morning beautiful" Jordan said as cheerfully as he could muster, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Angela shuddered a little with the coldness of his lips, but smiled in spite of this.

"Morning handsome" she said quietly, still looking at him with trepidation "who were you talking to on the phone out there?"

Jordan hesitated and didn't answer straight away .

"Just Frank" he said tightly.

"About what?" Angela said more probingly. Jordan shrugged.

"Nothing really."

Angela frowned at him, she hated when he was intentionally vague about things.

"Nothing? You threw your cell phone against a wall over nothing?" she said scornfully. Jordan sighed and shifted from foot to foot agitatedly.

"Look…. I just got a little mad at him."

Angela arched an eyebrow at him.

"A little? I saw the whole thing Jordan ,you were furious. My question is why?" she said more seriously. Jordan took a deep breath, his gaze switching from her to the floor and back again.

"Jordan what's going on?" she said more persuasively.

Jordan opened his mouth and was just about to answer when the guest room door opened and Vivian Woods came out into the hallway.

"Oh…I thought I heard voices. Good morning children" she said jovially.

"Good morning Mrs Woods" Jordan said back politely "shall we get you some breakfast?".

"That would be lovely dear" the old woman replied. Angela eyed him curiously, wanting desperately to know what he was reluctant to tell her.

"We'll talk later" Jordan said in a low voice as he passed her to go downstairs. Angela frowned unhappily before following him. This did not bode well, whatever it was.

* * *

"You know, being pregnant does sometimes have it's wonderful advantages" Rayanne smiled as she helped herself to another handful of potato chips.

"No one can judge you for being a pig no matter how much you eat, isn't that right bump" she added, placing her hand on her now more rounded abdomen. Angela beamed at her happy friend and emptied another bag of chips into a separate bowl. Things had miraculously worked out for her friends and Rayanne's ever changing condition had become a source of happiness and excitement instead of fear and dread. Brian had seemed to take to his impending fatherhood with a sense of pride and pragmatic anticipation, quietly ecstatic in his own private way.

"The other advantages being your chest seems to have doubled in size" Rickie said with a cheeky grin.

"You think?" Rayanne said sceptically, looking down at her fuller cleavage.

"Totally" Jack seconded as he placed the pumpkin pie in the refrigerator.

"Brian you're the expert, are they bigger?" Rickie said with a smirk. Brian's cheeks flushed pink and he awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Emmm….sure" he said vaguely. Angela tried to hide her smile as Brian blushed brighter and brighter.

"C'mon….you see them often enough. Are they bigger?" Rayanne said bluntly as she thrust her chest outward. Brian rose his chair now puce in colour.

"I'm going to see if Patty wants any help with the table." he muttered as he quickly left the room.

"Aww guys leave him alone, I know you three have been torturing him all day" Angela laughed.

"Hey! It's his fault I'm in this condition. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." Rayanne said archly .

"Plus it's just way too easy to mess with him" Jack laughed.

Brian didn't go to the dining room as he'd implied he would, instead he headed for the living room where Jordan was setting up the big game to watch before dinner. He was intent upon talking to Jordan and quietly hoped to find his friend alone in the room. Brian had wanted to discuss the Hewsons for weeks but life had not given him an opportunity as of late. Jordan had been busy with the promotion of Echelons new album which was selling much better than anticipated, while he had been run off his feet with work and family matters. He and Rayanne had gone back to Three Rivers two weekends before to tell their parents the news. Contrary to his expectations, his parents had been overjoyed by the prospect of a grandchild, even if they didn't exactly approve of Rayanne. His suspected this was partially due to the fact his sister had made it abundantly clear she was never going to procreate. Therefore the Krakow's were not being picky about whose genes their grandchild was going to get half of. Rayanne's mother had cried hysterically for fifteen minutes when they told her. Somehow managing to make them promise she could perform a pagan blessing on the child when he or she was born. All in all, the tumultuous affair had work itself out into a wonderful thing. Now the thoughts of becoming a father, having a small little child to love and care for, made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

The consequence of this new world perspective, was it made him reassess his opinions on how to handle the delicate nature of Jordan's secret. In light of his new understanding of what it was to care for something more than yourself, his harsh judgement of Jordan had lessened somewhat. Brian still regarded the whole thing as unethical and fully intended to force Jordan to come clean, but he at least had greater awareness of why he did it. The investigator's reports he received had placated any lingering worries that the family had suffered unduly because of the accident. True the woman had gone into an early labour, but the child had thankfully be born unharmed. Yet there still remained this niggling feeling within him that the matter needed to be discussed and put to rest properly.

Brian pushed open the door of the living room and looked around curiously. He jumped out of skin when someone shrieked excitedly to his left.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a feminine blur run towards him. Before he could react, the blur leaped on him and threw their arms around him.

"BRIAN! OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Danielle screeched happily as she hung onto him tightly. She finally released him and stared at him in awe.

"I'm so happy to see you, it's been too long" she said giddily.

"Danielle Chase is that you?" he said in disbelief as he recognised the dark woman in front of him.

"The one and only" she beamed.

"Wow….you look…eh ….different" he laughed nervously.

"It has been nearly sixteen years….." she replied sardonically "but holy crap you look great Krakow". Brian couldn't stop himself from smiling proudly. A second person cleared their throat awkwardly at the other end of the room and Danielle seemed to snap out of her daze. Brian turned to see a tall, dark and thin man sitting on the furthest couch, looking between them with interest.

"Sorry…eh…Brian this is my boyfriend Sartan. Sartan this Brian Krakow, he used to be my neighbor when I was a kid ". Danielle said brightly The younger man seemed to relax a little as he stood up to shake Brian's hand.

"Nice to meet you Brian" he said in a friendly tone, the unmistakable twang of a French accent rolling off the vowels.

"You too" Brian said amiably.

"Sit" Danielle said hurriedly in excitement "let's catch up. I want to know everything" . Brian hesitated for a second, it seemed his plans for Jordan had once again been thwarted.

"Sure" he said agreeably and followed her back over to the couches. He still had time to get to Catalano later.

* * *

A couple of hours afterward ,the long table in dining room was filled to capacity with people. The food had been laid out, and with Jack's expert help, for once looked as if it might be delicious. Everyone was content but hungry and somehow ,despite the huge numbers of people, the atmosphere was peaceful. Chuck Woods quietly sat at the head of the table, carefully watching everyone around him as they talked happily. Sartan and Jack were at one end of the table conversing in French, while Angela, Danielle and Rayanne were laughing at the other. Brian and Rickie were deep in conversation by the side table, pouring out wine in glasses for everyone. To his left, his wife was talking politely to Patty's new partner Peter Rogers, while Patty looked on contentedly. It pleased Chuck immensely to see his daughter so full of life after so many years of being alone. Her divorce from Graham had been brutal and seemed to have sucked all the light out of her for the longest time, but now with a new love she was shining to her full brightness again. The doctor was a lovely man and Chuck thoroughly approved of his presence in Patricia's life. He was similarly taken with Jordan Catalano, though the boy seemed a little feckless and immature ,it was clear he adored Angela. And when it came down to ,it in this short life that was all that mattered.

He gave Jason a friendly grin as he helped Jordan carry the large turkey into the room. They laid it right in the centre of the table and sat down, and finally everyone was ready to begin. Taking his fork from the table Chuck Woods gently struck it against his glass to get everyone's attention. Gradually the chatter tapered off and everyone turned to face Chuck with interest. He cleared his throat loudly before he began to speak.

"Sorry to interrupt everyone but I'd like to say a few words before the meal starts, that is if no one minds…" he paused for a second and waited to see if anyone objected. A stony silence remained amongst the group and Chuck took it as a sign of encouragement.

"I guess what I want to say is….well this year all of us have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. The past few months have been tough, what with our Angie's terrible accident. I don't think I prayed so hard in my eighty five years as I did those night you were in a coma….." he stopped for a second, emotion welling up a little inside him as he looked across at Angela. She gave him a small affectionate smile in return, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. Chuck seemed to collect himself and he continued on.

"Anyway…..something like that kind of puts life into perspective, makes us appreciate what we still have. So this Thanksgiving I'm thankful for family. " he said with conviction looking between Vivian and Patty "For relationships that have been healed and renewed."

Chuck's gaze seemed focus on Angela and Danielle, who shared a look of understanding, smiling demurely at one another.

" For new friends and old. For the promises of continued growth between us all. Mostly….I'm thankful to spend this day with all of you. " Jordan looked around the table, seeing some of the faces he loved and had grown to love in his life. He watched Angela give Danielle another cheeky, affectionate smile and it filled him with hope. With enough time, anything was possible. Even forgiveness for the past. Angela turned back to him and gave him a shy smile that made his heart skip a beat. This was what life was about, the small simple moments that took your breath away.

"To the future" Chuck said more quietly, raising his glass.

"To the future" everyone said in unison, raising their glasses.

"Enough from this old fool, let's eat" Chuck said more jovially, looking around the table.

"I couldn't agree more Pops" Jason said cheekily and his great grandfather laughed.

* * *

"Mom….I apologise for my earlier comments, this food is delicious" Danielle moaned in almost ecstasy.

"Thank you, but I can't take all the credit. Jack did some great work helping me earlier" Patty said smugly.

"C'mon Mrs Chase, I only barely seasoned the carrots" Jack said modestly.

"Well it doesn't matter who deserves the credit, let me just say, this thanksgiving I'm really thankful for these mashed potatoes. I think I've eaten a quarter of the bowl myself." Rayanne sighed, greedily scooping another helping of potatoes onto her plate.

"Damn Graff! Are you sure it's only one kid you're growing in there" Shane laughed. Rayanne shot him a sneer of derision.

"Funny Lewis, at least I'm not growing a food baby like you. Is that a boy or girl?" she snapped back fiendishly, pulling at his t-shirt . Angela and Regan laughed wickedly, while Jordan tried desperately to remain straight-faced as Shane's cheeks flashed a little pink.

"You know what I'm _not _thankful of….your damn mouth Graff" Shane said huffily, crossing his arms. Rayanne stuck her tongue out at him and carried on eating.

"So when's it due? You know, Shane Jnr" Brian said innocently and everyone roared with laughter.

"Oh screw you guys" Shane pouted "it's water retention".

"Wow someone is hormonal today" Jordan chuckled and Shane glared back at him.

"Stop guys" Angela laughed, giving Jordan a gentle smack " leave him alone."

"Thank you Angela. They're all so _mature_" Shane replied with a slight smile.

"You know what, I liked it better when you guys hated one another, I don't know what happened to change that." Jordan smirked. Angela and Shane shared a sly look, but said nothing. Instead they just shrugged.

"We all have to grow up someday." Angela said impassively. Shane gave her a friendly wink and the flow of conversation began again. Angela true to her word had never said anything to Jordan about Shane's confession in the hospital. Shane appreciation for her discretion and demonstration of trust had caused a grudging respect to form between them which after time had lead a tentative friendship to grow. Now things were almost nice between them, it was still a little weird, but for the most part made life so much better.

"You know what I'm _not_ thankful for this year" Regan said unhappily looking between Shane, Angela and Jordan

" that stupid Christmas tour Frank's making you do. I mean….how am I gonna survive without you".

Regan wrapped an arm around Shane, who then placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"It sucks baby I know" he murmured sincerely. Angela snapped to attention, watching the scene with growing confusion as her brain processed what Regan had said. Jordan internally cursed Regan's terrible timing as Angela reacted just as he'd expected her to.

"What tour? I thought you were just playing a few promotional things on the East coast till the 21st" she said suspiciously, looking back up at Jordan with a frown. He seemed to stiffen a little, a guilty look crossing his face.

"They extended it, Frank called this morning to tell us " Shane said curiously , looking between Jordan's paling cheeks and Angela's reddening one. Shane felt the pit of his stomach drop to the floor.

"_Shit" _he thought _"he hasn't told her yet"_

"How much longer is it?" Angela said in a low voice , her frown deepening at Jordan's sheepish face. He winced as he realised she'd immediately put two and two together, like she knew exactly why he'd been fighting with Frank on the phone .

"December 1st till January 6th " Jordan said regretfully. Angela's face fell considerably as she heard this, the full weight of it pressing upon her.

"You're going to be gone all of Christmas?" Jason said dejectedly, looking at his father with obvious hurt. Jordan exhaled despondently as he helplessly tried to find the words to explain . Before he could answer, Angela pulled out her chair noisily beside him, her eyes darkening in growing rage and upset.

"Sorry everyone, if you'll just excuse me." she said vaguely, turning without another explanation and walking towards the kitchen.

"Angela, c'mon just sit down for sec…Angela let me explain…Angela….ANGELA" he called after her in an ineffectual attempt to calm her. Yet she kept going, stamping off into the kitchen with building belligerence. On the other side of him Jason left the table without a word, his chest heaving in growing anger. The table rattled loudly with the force of his exit. Jordan looked after them helplessly, the room going silent in awkwardness, nobody knowing what to say or do in the situation. Jordan bit at his bottom lip as he muttered expletives under his breath. How the hell was he supposed to fix this mess?

"I'm sorry Jordan I didn't know tha…" Regan began

"It's not your fault, I should have said something this morning" he said bitterly. Without another word Jordan left the table and strode after Angela.

"Well….I was wondering when the customary thanksgiving argument was going to happen. Now it truly feels like a family dinner" Rayanne quipped after a beat, looking around the sullen table.

"Don't you ever shut up" Shane said huffily, as they all waited on tenterhooks for what was going to happen next.

Angela couldn't fucking believe it as she slowed to a enraged halt in the kitchen, bewildered that he could actually do this to her, to Jason, and think it was not a big deal. By the time Jordan caught up with her, the original sadness she felt had been buried under her uncontrollable anger at him. Jordan gulped when her fiery glare had fallen on him as he came into the kitchen. She didn't say anything but just scowled at him, her eyes never leaving his. Jordan knew from experience that this was a sign she was really mad.

"Listen I was going tell you…" he began weakly.

"Oh yeah when? The night before you left? In the middle of the tour? Christmas Eve?" she spat back sourly "It wouldn't have mattered when you'd told us, it doesn't change the fact you're not going to here at Christmas! How can you do this to us?".

Jordan's gaze fell to the floor in shame.

"I'm sorry Angela, I had no choice." Jordan said unhappily.

"Bullshit, you always have a choice Jordan. You could have told Frank to go fuck himself. If you actually gave a shit about family like you claim to, you would have found a way out" she shot back, an angry tear rolling down her cheek. Jordan felt his blood pressure beginning to rise, frustration building inside him.

"I do give a shit Angela, you know I do! You think I didn't try fight it, that I'm not pissed about it. You really think I want to spending my first Christmas with you guys halfway across the world?" Jordan shouted in despair.

"Then why are you going along with it?" Angela replied, throwing her hands up in the air in irritation.

"Because it's my job Angela, what else do think pays for this place?" he said gruffly sweeping his arms to indicate the apartment. Her face darkened further.

"Don't fucking patronise me Jordan and treat ME as if I'm some clueless trophy wife. I work just as hard as you do" she growled back. Jordan seemed to swallow back some of his anger, what he'd said had gone a little too far.

"Look….if I don't go ,the record company will get major shit from whatever promotions guys they dealt with and then guess what, we'll be in even deeper shit because then they'll come after us " he said through gritted teeth.

"How is that even possible? They can't force you to go" she said huffily.

"Technically they can ,there's a clause in the original contract's we signed when we first joined the label. After every new album, they can extend the first promotional tour by up to 21 days if they want." Jordan sighed dejectedly.

"Jordan, you're making that stupid company millions of dollars every week. They're not going to do squat if you pull out early." Angela seemed to beg.

"I can't…they'll find some loophole in our contracts and sue the shit out of us" Jordan said defeatedly.

"So what? We don't need the money" she said more desperately "What we do need is you , after everything that happened this year, all the shit and all the pain. We need you here"

Jordan hung his head, not knowing what to do. Angela looked at him more softly, her glare disappearing.

" I need you here." she said more sadly as she walked over to him and held his face between her hands.

"Find a way to stay. Please" she said so defencelessly, his heart began to throb in his chest. Her emerald green eyes looked at him so expectantly it almost broke him completely.

"Angie….I can't" he said weakly. Angela's eyes grew distant and her hands fell from his face. She didn't say anything, tears now falling freely. She then stepped back away from him, her face hard and expressionless.

"I don't why I thought I could depend on you" Angela said resentfully "You're still so fucking afraid of your own damn shadow you don't know how to fight for what's important." Jordan's teeth gritted in his mouth but he held his tongue. Angela gave one last disgusted glare before going down to the hallway to her old room, slamming the door loudly behind her. Jordan's hands rolled into fists as he fought to control his anger. Unable to contain it, he slammed his hand full force into the door of one of the cabinets, the sound of flesh hitting wood ringing through the kitchen.

"GODDAMN IT" Jordan roared loudly, letting the pain and frustration wash over him. This was all so fucked up.

* * *

Brian realised as he walked into the kitchen to find Jordan sitting on his ass by the breakfast bar, his head in his hands, this was not the most appropriate moment to talk to him. The man was clearly in a terrible mood. Yet Brian drew a breath and walked with conviction over to Jordan, certain this would be the best chance he'd get. It was now or never ,but he could at least be tactful about it though.

Jordan looked up at him hostilely as he approached, but his grimace relaxed a fraction when he saw it was only Brian.

"Hi." Brian said uneasily, sitting down beside him "you okay?"

"Just peachy" Jordan replied sharply "my girlfriend and son might hate me, but I'm just fine." Brian gave him a soft smile.

"She did sort of fly off the handle didn't she." he said wryly. Jordan eyebrows shot in surprise.

"Shit, did you hear all of that?" Brian nodded solemnly and Jordan went a little red.

"Great…."

"The point is, they don't hate you Jordan, give Angela and Jason time and they'll come around." Jordan sighed harshly.

"I wouldn't blame them if they did, you know, hate me. After all the stuff I said about how important thanksgiving was for me this year, I sound like a gigantic hypocrite now I'm leaving for the holidays."

Brian was unable to think of a good enough response for moment, because honestly, Jordan was sort of right. It did seem hypocritical.

"It's your job, they'll come around" Brian said as convincingly as he could. Jordan's less than delighted scowl did not seem to fade one bit despite Brian's efforts. He sighed again, chewing on his lip as he wrestled with his conscience.

"I guess I better go find Jason" Jordan said coolly, beginning to rise to his feet. Panic grew in Brian's chest as he became aware his window of opportunity was closing rapidly. Scrambling to his feet, he reached out and pulled Jordan's arm back.

"Hold up I got to talk to you." he said firmly, letting go of Jordan again as he turned his attention back to him.

"What?" Jordan said tiredly. Brian drew a deep breath, steadying himself to finally drop this bombshell.

" Jordan I don't judge but…..Ehh I mean sometimes I do but…I think….no I know." Brian began, suddenly finding he'd lost his nerve again somehow

"Jesus Krakow could you just pick a sentence and go with it ." Jordan interrupted huffily. As Brian began again, still babbling incoherently, Jordan rolled his eyes and turned on his heel to leave. His patience worn to its limit for the day. Brian could see this was his last chance, this was it. Do or die. Mustering all of his courage and strength as he watched Jordan leave, he opened his mouth and forced the words out.

"I know about the Hewsons Jordan" he said slowly, his voice steady. Jordan stopped dead his track, as he turned with a look of horror covering his face.

"I've known for weeks. One of the temps mixed up the folders and I saw the contracts when I was searching for one of Angela's." Brian eerily calm as he looked at Jordan impassively. Jordan's blood ran cold as fear gripped his whole body. How could he have overlooked the fact Brian worked for the same firm as his lawyers? It was a disaster waiting to happen and all it had taken was time for a mistake to be made. He was fucked, that much was certain. But this didn't mean he was ready for the scandal to go beyond Brian and him.

Brian was taken completely by surprise when Jordan suddenly rushed forward and pushed him hurriedly into the spacious food store, shutting the door behind them. Brian gulped audibly as Jordan turned back to him in a threatening manner.

"What exactly do you know?" Jordan said in a low aggressive tone. Brian's speech failed him for a second and he gulped again in genuine fear.

"Everything…..even about the police. I saw the accident reports ." Brian said meekly. Jordan rubbed his face with his hands, as his despair grew. This was worse than he thought.

"So you know the police falsified the records" he replied menacingly "said it was Angela not Jason, driving." Brian nodded solemnly and Jordan's jaw seemed tighten.

"How? That isn't even in the fucking file my lawyers have."

Brian realised his mistake instantly. Stumbling upon the confidentiality agreement was one thing, but actively investigating it was a whole other story.

"Brian answer me." Jordan said more forcefully. His friend looked at him in shame.

"A few weeks after I found out about the cover up , I hired an investigator" he said meekly. Jordan's eyes flashed in surprised and building rage.

"You did what?" Jordan exclaimed furiously, his eyes flashing.

"I had to be sure that family were okay." Brian tried to explain frantically, panicking a little with the aggressive look on Jordan's face.

"Why couldn't you have just come talk to me? You really think I would have just carried on with my life like this if they weren't Brian. That I'd just sweep everything under the carpet ." Jordan said in an enraged hiss.

" No it wasn't like that but…...I had to be sure for my own conscience. You bribed an entire police department Jordan, it looked really bad. " Brian said a little more irritably.

"Yeah and they'll be in a hell of a lot more trouble than me if any of this gets out. In fact so will you if you say anything either " Jordan shot back, stepping closer to Brian threateningly.

"I didn't do it to build a case against you Jordan and I'm not speaking to you now as a lawyer. I'm here as friend trying to understand why you did this?" Brian said in frustration

"I was protecting Jason's future. When Rayanne pops out that kid of yours you'll know what it is like, that feeling that you'd do anything to keep them out of harm." Jordan said more calmly.

"If you're so sure that everything you did was justified, why haven't you told Angela?" Brian asked him, cocking an eyebrow at him. Jordan froze. He opened his mouth to reply, but couldn't seem to find the words to answer.

"The thing is, somewhere deep inside you know this is all wrong. Angela is one of the most morally upstanding people I have ever known and she would never have agreed to just throw money at people and hope it would go away." Brian said coolly.

"You say a damn word to her and I swear…..!" Jordan started to growl, grabbing Brian by the shirt collar.

"I'm not going to say a thing to her or anyone else, but if you don't soon I'm going to have to" Brian interrupted, unperturbed by Jordan's attempt at intimidation.

"You wouldn't dare" Jordan said in a low voice.

"She my oldest friend, just try me" Brian said with a arrogant smirk, not really knowing where this brazenness was coming from. In reality if things ever got physical, Jordan was probably capable of beating the shit out of him. Yet to Brian's relief, his brave front worked seemed to work.

Jordan let go of him and drew back in some of his aggression to change tactic.

"Brian…..I am asking you, no begging you, not to say anything." Jordan said more desperately. Brian looked at him long and hard, nodding after a moment.

"Okay" was all he said in reply.

They stood there for a minute, unsure of what to do now, the rush of testosterone still subsiding in their bodies.

Behind Jordan the door to the food store opened suddenly and Rayanne jumped with surprise when see saw them inside.

"What are two doing in here?" she said in confusion.

"Emmm…..we were looking for cookies"

"Chips" they said at the same time. Rayanne looked at them suspiciously.

"With the door closed?" she said mockingly.

"Yeah we wanted the selection to be a surprise ….?" Jordan trailed off hazily. Rayanne continued looking between them with wariness, but shrugged not really caring all that much what dirty little secret they were keeping.

"Yeah whatever…..just hand me the onion dip, I'm hungry." she said grumpily. Jordan reached back and gave it to her.

"By the way, Angela's back and she says she can't find Jason so you'll have to" Rayanne said casually. Jordan's eyes became more alert as he heard this, he nodded in response but said nothing. Taking one last look at Brian and Jordan she walked back towards the dining room without a second glance. They stood there for another silent second.

"I'd better go back before they suspect something's up" Brian said humourlessly. Jordan nodded and gave him a forced smile.

"I better go find Jason anyway." he said blankly. With that they parted company, the lingering feeling of anger and resentment stayed with them long after they'd gone separate directions.

* * *

Jordan had gone to Jason's room first, but had found it empty. Yet the trip down the hall had proved fruitful for clues as to where Jason had gone. His good pants and new shirt were folded neatly on the bed, and because the shower wasn't running in his bathroom, this pointed to only one place he could have escaped to.

The temperature was warm as usual in expansive garage as Jordan exited the elevator. The radio was on loudly at the other end of the room, a classic rock anthem pumping through its speakers. Just above it Jordan could hear the unmistakable sound of metal hitting metal at great force. Walking the last few steps Jordan came upon Jason busy at work on the front bumper of his car. He had propped it up against the far wall as he tried to beat the dents out with a hammer.

"You do know that's not quite how you do that?" Jordan said with a smirk, making Jason jump a little.

"Yeah well it's making me feel better so I don't give a crap" he said tetchily, striking the hammer harder. Jordan noted for the first time how like Angela his son he looked when he was mad. That same tight line set on his similarly shaped mouth and way of glaring but not looking directly at you at the same time. They had that same way of being so eerily calm on the outside to hide the bubbling anger that lay underneath the surface, the resemblance threw Jordan off kilter for a minute. He'd never been able to deal adquately in the past when Angela had given him that look. At this moment he was stumped by how to proceed now Jason was doing it too.

"You here for a reason or are you just going to stand there all day staring at me?" Jason said cuttingly as he glance back furiously for a second.

"I want to talk to you." Jordan said simply, turning of the radio and leaning against the bonnet of Jason's semi-gutted car.

"Yeah well I don't want to talk to you." he said gruffly, swinging the hammer against the bumper again.

"Well then for the love of God at least stop taking pot shots at that bumper, you're doing more harm than good." Jordan said bad-temperedly. Jason looked back at him petulantly, but stopped what he was doing. There was no point in destroying his car, it would only make fixing the damn thing take longer anyway .

"Fine! You got my attention Dad. Happy?" he spat back "Content you can now get the opportunity to try convince me you leaving for Christmas is a good thing? That is why you're down here isn't it?".

Jordan looked at Jason sadly, not knowing how he could possibly explain properly. Hating himself to the core for being the cause of the pained look in his son's innocent blue eyes.

"Whatever excuse you've got, save it! You can't defend this no matter what you say" Jason's voice began to shake as he spoke, the hurt he felt rising to the surface.

"Buddy if I could get out of it, I swear I would." Jordan said remorsefully.

"Yeah right! Be honest….at least to yourself. Some small part of you wants to go." Jason shouted, swiping his eyes as they started to well up. He was determined not to try like a little child, despite how much all this upset him. Jordan didn't contradict Jason because, if he was being truthful, there was a small part of him that itched to get back on the road. It was like some underlying and undeniable compulsion, he needed his fix of being on stage to keep him truly happy. He was ashamed to admit it even to himself, but Jason was right.

"Glad to know exactly where your priorities lie" Jason said bitterly, walking past him with disgust to the elevator.

"Jason, come on! You are my number one priority" Jordan said anxiously as he followed him.

"Yeah…..well you have a funny way of showing it" he said sarcastically, glaring at his father from the elevator. Jordan looked him completely crushed. Jordan was exhausted from all the emotional battles he'd had to fight today, he felt drained by it all and was unable to find the strength to argue anymore. He and his son stared at one another, until the metallic doors slowly closed to separate them and Jordan was left alone in the silent concrete box. Hating himself more and more with every second.

* * *

Jordan returned to the apartment a little while later, not wanting to completely destroy the day for everyone else. The atmosphere was tense as he walked into the kitchen where Danielle and Patty were stacking the dishwasher.

"Hi" he awkwardly as they gave him a weak smile "Sorry for disappearing earlier".

"It's okay, it isn't Thanksgiving without someone storming off for one reason or another. Usually it's one of my girls" Patty said sardonically without any hint of judgment in her voice. Beside her, Danielle rolled her eyes at her mother but continued on with the dishes.

"Did Angela tell you why she walked out?" Jordan asked quietly, looking at her apprehensively.

"No, and I don't want to know the reason. Whatever it is…it's between both of you" she said kindly. Jordan gave her a smile of thanks.

"Where'd everyone else go?" he said more cheerfully, leaning on the breakfast bar.

"Jason is playing Xbox with Shane, Brian and Rickie, I think everyone else is playing monopoly in the dining room."

"Well except Rayanne and Angela….they left to go for a walk about a half hour ago" Danielle interjected. Jordan frowned at this. Rayanne always had a knack for making situations like this worse.

"Oh" he said quietly.

"She didn't seem that mad anymore when they left" Danielle said in a vain attempt to lift his spirits.

"Right, I'm sure" Jordan smirked, not really believing her.

"Whether she or she ,isn't just forget about it now. Let's just go play board games and enjoy what is left of the day" Patty said persuasively, taking Jordan by the arm and pulling him towards the dining room. Jordan gave her a wry smile and let her lead him away without a single complaint.

* * *

The temperature was close to freezing outside as Angela and Rayanne walked the street beside the park. It was starting to snow again, the soft flakes sticking to their coats and hair as the best friends wandered downtown arm in arm.

"Wow it is so cold" Rayanne said shakily, her teeth starting to chatter as they passed the dark and empty MET.

"We can turn around and go back if you want?" Angela said considerately, rubbing her hand over Rayanne's arm in an attempt to help warm her up.

"Nah….I've got indigestion ,so I need to walk it off" Rayanne said a little uncomfortably.

"After all the food you ate I'm not surprised" Angela laughed a little.

"Heh! It is not my fault I've continuous cravings for potato chips all the time." Rayanne retorted.

"Ray…you ate two family packs of Doritos _after_ dinner!" Angela giggled. Rayanne made a face but didn't contradict her friend, she really had eaten that much tortilla chips. Angela's smile stayed plastered to her face for a long while as they carried on walking in momentary silence.

They were so lost in their own thoughts and conversations they soon found themselves at 59th street, the majestic Plaza hotel shining in the soft white snow in front of them.

"Holy crap we walked over 20 blocks, how did that happen?" Rayanne exclaimed .

"I'm not sure, but my feet are starting to kill me now" Angela hissed in reply, hobbling over to one of the benches at the entrance of the park. Rayanne followed a second later, flopping down on the bench beside her cheerfully as they watched the falling snow.

"I've never liked having a snowy Thanksgiving, it's a little weird, like it seems too Christmassy or….." Rayanne cut off her contented ramble as out of the corner of her eye she saw Angela's face darken.

"Sorry, I probably shouldn't have brought up the big 'C' word right now." She mumbled sheepishly, looking at Angela apologetically. Despite her more maudlin frame of mind, Angela gave her a faint wry smile.

"It's fine, it's not as if I can ignore the coming season anyway. Life continues on forward, even when you wish it would just stop for a second for you to catch your breath." she said quietly, looking absorbedly at the ever thickening snow. Rayanne watched her with interest, taking care to choose her next words cautiously.

"Look Angelika can I be honest" she said warily, Angela nodded and Rayanne drew a heavy breath.

"Angela….you're kind of letting Jordan Catalano control your life, I mean except for his not uncharacteristic insensitivity and douchebaggery, this has been a great day."

Angela looked at her angrily for a second, but as she really thought about it, she saw Rayanne was right. There had been a lot of wonderful things about this day, like her sister being with them for the first time since they were girls. She'd allowed Jordan and his stupid shit almost ruined it for her.

"You know what the saddest thing about this Thanksgiving is?" Angela said unhappily "this was one of the better ones I've had."

Rayanne gave her a half smile and bumped her shoulder against Angela's.

"See….fuck Jordan and his narcissism" Rayanne said brashly.

"I just…I don't know. I'm upset for Jason more than myself. He needs his Dad around and when it really counts, Jordan has disappointed him." Angela said bitterly.

"I know how that feels, believe me, but Jason will be okay. He always is" Rayanne said soothingly "just make sure you take care of yourself too." Angela gave her a small smile of thanks and tried to perk herself up again but couldn't. She sighed bleakly.

"I'm just so mad at him, but its not as if I didn't know what I was getting myself into when we got back together. I just would have thought he'd at least _try_ to put us first in his life!" she whispered harshly as she looked at Rayanne fully. Her friend put her arm around her and gave her a half hug.

"I know…. he's an asshole. But if you want to spend the rest of the week away from him until he leaves for the tour, you can have your bedroom back on Park Ave. Me and Brian took over Patty's room anyway."

Angela paused, thinking about the offer seriously for a second, so tempted to take her up on it.

Angela took a deep breath and shook her head.

"Thanks but as much as I want to kill Jordan, I don't think leaving is the best idea in the long run. It's just something we're going to have to work through." she answered unenthusiastically. Rayanne nodded, knowing deep down her friend was right.

"Well if you ever feel the need to escape, we're not changing the locks anytime soon. So don't be a stranger" she replied affectionately, tweaking Angela on the nose. Angela chuckled and hugged Rayanne tighter.

"C'mon lets catch a cab back before we totally freeze" she simply, pulling Rayanne to her feet as she stood up "Brian will go insane if you endanger his unborn child much longer". Rayanne rolled her eyes but followed Angela without any complaints. As they walked she found herself a little a curious about something Angela had said earlier.

"So if this rates as one of the best Thanksgiving's, which one was the worst?" she asked with humour.

"When I had to tell my Mom I was pregnant with Jason. I spent the whole day terrified she was going to throw me out and then I got so nervous I blurted it out in the middle of dinner in front of my grandparents. It was most awkward meal I've ever had in my life " Angela laughed despite the seriousness of the subject matter.

"Yeah announcing a teen pregnancy does trump an impromptu and temporary abandonment any day" Rayanne grinned. Angela smirked in return as they snagged a taxi, never so glad to have such a ball of energy of a best friend more than at this moment. How would she ever survive without Rayanne in her life? Things seemed back in alignment now she'd had time away with Rayanne and she finally felt able to rejoin the madness uptown with a smile.

* * *

When Angela had returned home, she had actively avoided Jordan. Busying herself with conversing with everyone else or engaging in intense board games she only communicated with him in ways that required no more than surface small talk with him. Jason had taken a more extreme route and ignored his presence completely, taking it upon himself to deny his existence in the room at all times. The atmosphere in the room was electric, like one stray spark could ignite the still present tension radiating off all of them. People began to excuse themselves to bed or back their hotels for the night not long after Angela had come back, the antagonism that circled the family unit becoming too intense for them to handle. Soon only Brian, Rayanne, Angela, Patty and Jordan were left and the stress only grew in strength. It was all Jordan could handle for a day, and with that he diligently admitted defeat and left to go to bed. Angela had left not long afterward, walking with conviction to the room she'd had stayed most of the way through her months of recovery . Once more she claimed it as her own, glad to find space to herself just to breathe again.

At the other end of the apartment in spite of his physical exhaustion, Jordan lay awake in his bed just staring at his ceiling unable to fall asleep. Thoughts raced through his head as he ran over the devastation he caused that day. Reliving every look of disgust and disappointment Angela and Jason had given him, every rise of panic he'd felt when Brian had told him what he knew about the Hampton's. The judgment he'd seen in Brian's eyes had made him feel worse about everything, like he really was just a white trash nothing under this façade of grandeur. As the old saying said, a tiger can't change his stripes ,no matter how he tries. Yet in light of every other problem he had in his life at the present time, he was not in the right frame of mind to come up with a solution to stall Brian in his crusade. Krakow probably wouldn't have the stones to say anything for a while to Angela, considering how long it had taken him to confront Jordan. Therefore Jordan knew he had maximum of a month to come up with a plan to stop Brian, if not he was in deep shit. Ten times deeper than the crap he'd fallen into today.

Jordan's mind once more turned back to issue at hand and once more felt a rush of bitter guilt. The day had started so good, like everything was finally going right in his life. But as always fate had to invariably fuck it up for him, not that he didn't deserve it. He had caused every single problem for himself today, if only he could have said no to Frank. Yet the manager would only accept a positive answer, saying Jordan somehow owed the record company for the time delay or some twisted shit like that. None of these business people gave a flying fuck about the reasons why the album wasn't started till late August, all they'd seen was lost time and money not emotional stress. Frank had said he'd held the execs off as long as he could and their break from touring was over, either they did these dates or the label was going to fine them big bucks. Jordan had panicked in the rush and had agreed to do the extra dates before he could backtrack. All but damning himself in the process. The net result though was now the two people he cared about most in the World thought he was a greedy, self absorbed fuckwit. Truth be told, it was pretty much how he felt about himself right now.

Jordan knew he didn't have to do this tour, they could handle the probable money loss, but there was still this craving to perform. It had been seven months since the bands last big show and something within him was getting antsy to hear the roar of the crowd again. Jordan hated himself with every growing minute for that selfishness he had inside his heart, wishing he could find a way to stay with his family. Desperately searching his brain for a compromise, a solution that could resolve the problems so all parties were satisfied. He lay there thinking deeply for a long time, ultimately finding no answers but only more trouble.

Sleep at last began to take him, tiredness washing away all his cares and worries for the night. He was just on the border of consciousness when his sleep drunken mind became semi-aware of his bedroom door opening. A familiar figure stood in the doorway for a second before shutting the door behind them and walking to the bed. Jordan's brain snapped back to full attention as the person pulled back the covers and lay down beside him, finally realising it was Angela. She lay there rigid, her back towards him and he knew not to touch her. She was still furious.

"I thought you were sleeping in your own room tonight, not that I'm complaining at all you're here" he said groggily, his voice scratchy. Angela exhaled loudly in annoyance, she'd been sure he'd been asleep when she'd come in.

"I couldn't sleep . You know, I've spent most of life sleeping on my own with no problems, two months with you and now I can't. It's ridiculous " she replied resentfully. Jordan couldn't help but smile a little at this.

"I'm totally buying a boyfriend pillow tomorrow so I don't to suffer this indignity again tomorrow" Angela pouted.

"Take any of my shirts you want so you can dress him" Jordan replied jokingly. Angela scoffed angrily and kicked him under the covers.

"I swear I could kill you Jordan for putting me through all this ." she said angrily, still facing the wall resolutely. Without any concern for his personal safety considering her very obvious displeasure at him, Jordan reached over and pulled her into him.

"I'm sorry for everything, I really am" he whispered sincerely into her ear, holding onto her a little tighter. To his surprise she didn't resist his contact or show any disapproval of it. Instead she turned around in his arms and laid her head on his chest, letting out a long calming breathe as her eyes closed. Sleep no longer threatening to allude her. Jordan's heart swelled a little when she did this, like all hope wasn't lost yet. Nothing calmed him like the feeling of her lying so close to him.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you, I just couldn't sleep okay" Angela said gruffly but more faintly than before, internally berating herself for being so easily soothed by the steady beat of his heart. Jordan smiled softly and kissed the top of her head.

"I know" he said simply, laying his head against hers as he closed his eyes. They lay there a long time in silence until the present shifted into more happy dreams.

* * *

Soon the time came for the band to leave for their first show in Chicago some days later. The ambience in the apartment had remained tense throughout the week, thick with the feeling of resentment and disappointment. The mood between Angela and Jordan had not improved one bit, but Jason had a least begun to talk to his father again. Jordan had taken all the contained fury they held against him without any objections, he deserved it. Only Patty seemed to treat him with any hint of understanding or kindness. She viewed the whole trip as wholly unnecessary but didn't judge him for leaving.

When the day finally came for Jordan to go, only Patty choose to ride in the cab with him to say goodbye at the airport. The other two had disappeared for the day without a single word, it hurt like hell but he had to carried on regardless.

"You ready sweetheart" Patty said gently as she tipped on the shoulder. Taking one last look around sadly ,Jordan nodded in resignation.

"Yeah, lets go" he said flatly, grabbing his carry on bag reluctantly. Giving him a remorseful smile Patty took by the arm like a fretfully mother and led him to the elevator without a word .

Downtown in their favourite gelato shop in the Village , Angela and Jason sat watching people outside the shop absentmindedly. Jason's sundae lay in front of him half finished. He shifted the long spoon around the glass bowl noisily as he played with the remaining ice cream. Angela watched him out of the corner of her eye, seeing the obvious look of guilt in his young face.

"You want to go say goodbye don't you." she sighed humourlessly. Jason caught her eye, his cheeks reddening a little as he nodded.

"I'm that obvious am I" he said dryly putting the spoon down on the table.

"You're more wound up then a ball of twine, so yeah" Angela replied, giving him a wry smile. Jason shrugged nonchalantly.

"I guess I do want to say goodbye. He's going to be gone a month Mom" Jason said pointedly "I just think you should always leave things on good terms, like, I don't know. Just in case." Angela frowned, not quite following Jason's train of thought.

"In case of what?". Jason shrugged again before looking at her deep into her eyes.

"Life, death, everything in between. You really want to take the chance that the last memory Dad has ,is us not caring enough to go say goodbye to him." Jason said quietly. Angela drew a deep breath, his words striking her somewhere deep inside. Damn it, he was right. You never knew what was lurking around the corner, she was living proof of that.

"You're right, it's wrong to leave things like this. Let's go" she said decisively, slipping out of the booth. Jason gave her a big smile and they both raced outside to catch the first cab they could in the vain hope they could make it in time.

* * *

As Jordan stood at the security gate just about to go through to the first class lounge, he heard a faint voice calling. It seemed so familiar to him it froze him in his tracks.

"Dad!" the voice called again insistently, this time louder. Jordan turned to see Jason running frantically towards him, Angela a couple of yards behind him also running as fast as she could. Jordan's face broke out into the biggest smile either had ever seen as he slipped under the guard rails to meet his son. Jason nearly knocked him over as he threw himself into a huge hug.

"I just couldn't let you go without saying goodbye, it just wasn't right" he said barely above a whisper. Jordan hugged him back tightly.

"Thank you" he said with genuine gratitude "it means a lot." Behind them, Jordan saw Angela finally reach them breathlessly, her eyes wide and unguarded. Jordan let go of Jason and walked a little awkwardly over to her.

"So you actually came." he said sweetly. A small smile graced her mouth for a second.

"I guess one of us has to be the tolerant one" she said sardonically. Jordan smirked, before reaching out and pulling her into an affectionate embrace.

"I'm going to miss you" he said unhappily "both of you."

Angela buried her face in his chest for a second, trying not to cry.

"I know I don't deserve anything, but I need you to do something for me" Jordan said guiltily. Angela frowned as she lifted her head to look at him.

"I need you to visit Pete in Penn " he said blankly. Angela's eyes flashed angrily, not believing after everything he'd ask something like this of her.

"He has no one else Angela and he'll be all alone for Christmas…" Jordan said more persuasively. Angela shook head in disbelief, but as she looked into his earnest blue eyes she found herself melting a little.

"I think about it." she said tightly. Jordan gave her a sedate smile and kissed her cheek tenderly.

"That's all I ask." he said peacefully.

Letting her go reluctantly he looked between his son and girlfriend dejectedly, not wanting to leave. Overhead an announcement started blaring through the intercom about his flight.

"Guess that's my cue" he said mordantly "I'll see you guys soon I promise. Call you tonight after the show?" he said hopefully. Angela nodded and gave him a weak smile.

"Go Jordan" she said softly. With that he slowly turned back to the security gate. Just as he was just about to go through the gate, he looked back at them and waved sadly. The doors slowly closing in front of him until they were totally separated. Jason reached and took his mothers hand in his.

"C'mon lets go home" he said quietly as they turned and walked back out of the airport, their hearts aching a little in their chests.


	22. A Christmas Halleluiah

_**Hello guys! I'm so sorry it's once more taken me two months to finish this next instalment. It was not intentional, but I've had a busy few weeks and some serious shit going down in my life that really hadn't put me in the mood to write. PLUS I got a slight case of writers block BUT I have written you a nice long chapter once again to make up for it. Thanks to all who reviewed, Favourite and story alerted ,it makes me so happy! Anyway I did enjoy writing this chapter, but be warned it does get a little dark in the middle. Yet there may be a little light at the end of the tunnel so stay with it. Anyway please keep sending me review, they always make me smile. Till next time, I send you all my love.**_

_**-RedCatCatalano**_

_**ps: sorry I uploaded twice, I'd a formatting problem I had to fix!**_

The month of December passed quickly for Angela Chase as the holiday season began to take hold. Despite the cloud of dejection that seemed to hang over her, she prepared for Christmas with all the verve and enthusiasm as she'd always had. Like every year before, she had dragged her son to buy new clothes in Macys for Christmas Day, took her Mom to see the lights being turned on by the Rockefeller centre and went carolling with the other parents from the PTA .Partly it was for her mothers sake to continue the customs, but mostly it was for her own sanity. Keeping herself occupied continuously had stopped Angela thinking about the familiar face that was missing amongst the yearly traditions. Something would always pull at the strings of her heart when she stopped at certain moments, noting only three stockings hanging over the mock chimney or the small pile of presents with his name on them. There was always this ghost in background ,tingeing all the festivities with a distinct sense of loss and separation. The more she tried to ignore it, the greater the feeling of incompletion grew. Jordan had been such a constant in her life for the last four months ,she found it strange now he wasn't around. Everyday she kept expecting him to interrupt her while she was writing, singing 'Afternoon Delight' like he'd done a couple of times. This impish half grin on his handsome face . She missed Jordan so terribly, even the annoying things he did seemed sweet.

While Angela had chosen to ignore her obvious hurt , Jason had taken another approach. As soon as his father had left, he'd thrown himself into his school work with an intensity that almost scared Angela. She knew it was all in an effort to ward off any unwanted feelings of sadness. With the seasonal change in the weather, the ever present snow prevented him from playing baseball and going to see Beth as much as he wanted to. Jason had tried working on his car, but the smell of gas and grease only made him think of Jordan more. Therefore studying hard was the only thing he had which could keep his thoughts from wandering too close to anything upsetting. Even with all his hard work, Jason couldn't stop a lump forming in his throat when he thought of all he was missing . Especially when everyone else around him were surrounding themselves with their family. It was impossible not feel a rush of jealousy every time one of his friends spoke about going ice skating with their dads or going to pick the tree. No matter what he did, how he filled his mind with all the gifts he wanted for Christmas , the only thing he truly wanted was his father back. Without him, everything seemed dim and more sedate. Without him ,everyone was miserable.

Even with all the underlying anger towards Jordan they had, they all spoke nearly everyday either by phone or face to face via Skype. Without fail, Jordan called them at 7pm sharp no matter where he was in the world. The conversations never flowed right, often having a terseness that left everyone a little dissatisfied afterward. Yet they still made time to do it, no matter what was going on that day. And then, just for a few minutes , the distance didn't seem so far anymore. For a brief moment, life didn't seem so bad.

It wasn't long after Jordan had left for the tour that the rumours of infidelity began to circulate. Angela knew it was part of the game that the press played to sell magazines, but the unremitting presence of gossip about her and Jordan's romantic status did nothing but make her more depressed about the situation she was in. She'd never outwardly expressed any jealousy or suspicion to Jordan about what went on in these parties he was forced to attend , but inwardly her insecurities gave her hell. Every picture she saw of him in company of these beautiful models and minor actresses ,made her feel exponentially worse . Angela knew it was stupid to feel so pathetically possessive of him, but even the smallest suggestion of him straying was enough to drive her mad. In her heart she knew he'd never do it to her, that he loved her too much to ever cheat. But even so she couldn't shake the feeling of mistrust. When he'd betrayed her with Rayanne all those years ago, it had nearly destroyed her. This time if he was unfaithful again, she was sure she'd never recover. Somehow she thought Jordan sensed this uneasiness in her and had made a conscious effort to reassure her of how much he missed her, texting her every night when he gotten back from the parties. It lessened the fear a little that she was never far from his thoughts, but all it took was her to see another blurry paparazzi photo of Jordan sneaking out of late night gathering, to bring her right back down to Earth.

On the other side of the continent, Jordan Catalano was counting down the days till he could go back to New York. After the first week on the road ,any lingering wants he'd had about performing again had disappeared in a flash. While he acted publicly like he was immensely enjoying himself, playing each venue with his characteristic tenacity and enthusiasm, in private he wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with Angela on the cold December nights. He found it increasingly hard to sleep without her beside him, the loss of physical connection unsettled him. There was also this lingering anxiety he had in his mind about what to do about Brian. Everyday he woke with a feeling of dread that it would be the day that the secret would be out and Angela would hate him. As of yet nothing had happened and he was way too busy to think of any plan to stop Brian. All he could think about right now was how much he missed his wonderful girlfriend.

Jordan knew she was missing him tremendously too, every time he called he could hear the longing in her voice . He was certain she'd seen what all the gossip columns had been saying, connecting to every woman he was seen with. Part him wanted to bring it up, reassure her it was all bullshit, but another part of him thought the better of it. Jordan decided if he tried to protest his innocence to it all, it would look like he was trying too hard. Like he had something to hide . Jordan just hoped Angela would be able to brush it off and continue to trust him. Most of the parties he went to bored the shit out of him, and the girls that attended them he wouldn't have touched with a bargepole even when he was single. Jordan knew for a fact a few of them were functioning coke addicts, and had fucked more men than he'd had hot meals in order to get ahead. They were not exactly the type of girls you could take home to your mother. These desperate social climbers were a major reason he detested celebrity gatherings, it always seemed to attract the frantic and power hungry. But these encounters and get-togethers were a necessary evil he knew he had to endure. The immense exposure and gossip it perpetuated, helped keep the band in the public eye. And being in the public eye meant more money for those pulling the strings of this whole operation. There was no publicity that was bad publicity, even when it threatened to damage the relationships they all held dear. Jordan just grinned and bared it, trying as hard as Shane and Robbie not to show how little they wanted to be a part of this machine. Quietly waiting till they could go home again.

The weather was beginning to turn severe again in the final days before Christmas, thick drifts of pale snow burying the sidewalks and roads in soft white. Though it was beautiful, the heavy powder made it almost impassable at times. The results of this sudden dip in the temperatures had confined everyone in the Chase family to the apartment for the day. With most of the preparation done for the ever approaching celebrations, they each found themselves restless and unable to stop their thoughts from drifting to Jordan. Angela had tried to do some writing ,but it was to no avail. Her mind just turned in circles. She'd sat in the office, the blinds pulled open wide on the large glass windows, just watching the uninterrupted flow of snow fall outside. Lost in gloom and heavy heartedness ,it calmed her rising anxiety and frustration. Angela had given up trying to work after a while, drowning herself in the company of two great men by the names of Ben and Jerry and their delectable chocolate ice cream. With her serotonin levels starting to climb a little, she settled herself in front of the TV in the living room. Snuggling up in her softest blanket, she found her favourite holiday movie on the DVR and lost herself in its comforting ease. The familiar face of James Stewart and his angel Clarence made her smile faintly in nostalgic contentment and for a little while she escaped to the world of Bedford Falls.

Halfway through the movie, Jason wandered into the room. From the way his dark hair stuck out at odd angles, Angela knew he'd been sleeping not long before. As she watched him, she saw for the first time a similarity to his grandfather she hadn't seen before. Jason's hair had changed colour slightly recently and was now a shade or two darker than Jordan's natural chocolate brown. The shiny almost black hue of it, reminded her of her fathers characteristically thick mane. It made her smile a little that Graham's presence was not gone forever. That a small part of him lived on in all of them, like death was never really the end .

Jason gave her a weak smile as approached the couch.

"How'd I know you'd be watch 'It's a Wonderful Life'?" he said teasingly, motioning back to the TV screen with a grin.

"It's nearly the Holidays, so I'm entitled to watch a holiday movie if I want smarty pants!" she retorted with an affectionate smile.

"Isn't this like the third time this week you've watched it?" he laughed. Angela stuck out her tongue and went back to watching the film. Jason stood there in front of the couch a little unsure of what to do with himself as his mothers attention left him. Angela watched him out of the corner of her eye, seeing this subtle awkwardness in his stance. She instantly knew what he wanted ,but was too proud or embarrassed to ask for. Jason may have been fifteen, but he was still her little boy at times.

"Sit down and keep your old mom company" she said after a second, shuffling down the seat. Jason made a face at her as if it was the least appealing thing in the world, but despite this pretence of grumpiness , he took the invitation with no protest. Without another word, Angela draped the blanket over his lap too and took his hand in hers. Usually he would have objected to her doing something like this, but behind closed doors and away from prying eyes, he readily accepted the small symbol of love. They sat there watching the film contentedly, and somewhere through the 2nd half Jason rested his head against her shoulder, still holding her hand loosely. Angela smiled faintly, her suspicions proving to be correct. No matter what age they were or how tough they claimed to be, sometimes all boys just needed a little affection from their mother.

"I miss Dad today." he said quietly after a while. Angela rested her head against his and sighed unhappily.

"Yeah me too"

Angela didn't know when she'd fallen asleep, but as she slowly awoke again on the couch ,she felt stiff from being in the one position. Jason was snoring softly beside her, still leaning against her shoulder . The digital display on the blu-ray across from them read 9 o'clock, making Angela groan loudly.

"Damn it" she hissed in disappointment. For the first time since Jordan had left, she'd missed his call. Reaching to the pocket of her sweater she took out her phone, the display flashed with 8 missed calls from him. Angela's heart sunk when she realised he'd tried to contact her for over an hour. She knew it was too late to call him back, he was either onstage at that moment in Toronto or off at some stupid party. Her bad mood dipped further as she pined to hear his voice. Jason was going to be similarly disappointed when he woke up to discover that he'd missed his father.

Angela sat sulking silently on the couch when a thought suddenly struck her. In her troubled mind ,she tried distractedly to remember something Jordan had said to her the night before. Angela hadn't really been properly paying attention. He had been rambling about this amazing car he'd seen in the city and she'd been exhausted, so most of the conversation had been a bit of a blur. But as it came back to her fully, she allowed herself to smile slightly. Not all was lost . Pushing her son's drool cover head away from her, she leaned forward to retrieve the TV remote. Though Jordan for once was not performing, he was still working that night, appearing on some hip chat show on CTV. Angela couldn't for the life of her remember what the name of the programme was but she was ever so thankful for Jordan's TV provider as she found the Canadian network with relative ease. She started grinning giddily as the picture was filled immediately by her boyfriend in mid conversation in glorious HD. As she gazed at him adoringly, seeing his lovely face for the first time in a couple of days, she was struck by his magnetism onscreen. She'd always been jealous of how clear and perfect his skin was, and even now under the scrutiny of the high power studio cameras ,he was still so effortlessly beautiful. It wasn't fair for a man to be that physically perfect.

Jason's eyes instantly opened as he heard his fathers voice from the screen, blinking rapidly as he woke. He looked around the room confused for a second, his gaze settling on the screen with a slight frown. His face softened as he recognised Jordan.

"We slept through his call didn't we" he laughed slightly.

Angela nodded, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"He'll get over it" she said wryly.

"…so you're playing here tomorrow and then where next?" the zippy young presenter, ho Jordan honestly couldn't recall the name of ,asked excitedly.

"Ehhh….yeah we're playing here in Toronto tomorrow, then Ottawa, Montreal and then finally Vancouver on the 23rd ." Jordan answered cheerfully.

"And after that?" the presenter pushed.

"We fly to, I think Mexico City, then Rio de Janeiro, Buenos Aires and….. damn it I can't remember the other three" Jordan laughed sheepishly.

"Wow….that's a lot of distance to cover in six weeks" the host said in genuine surprise. Jordan shrugged nonchalantly.

"To play hard, you got work hard first" he said with a half smile.

"But aren't you bummed to be missing the holidays at home?" .

The hosts face flashed pink in shame as Jordan's gaze hardened into a glare, the young man realising he asked the complete wrong question.

Angela watched as Jordan seemed to shake himself off, becoming conscious he was still on live television. She could see he was mad, but was managing to hold himself together. Jordan sighed audibly and his glare disappeared.

"Wouldn't you be?" he said more calmly. The host gave him a weak smile, his face full of relief.

"Of course." he replied carefully.

"I'd love to be spending the time with my family, but things just didn't work out that way this time." Jordan added with a hint of bitterness in his voice. The host opened his mouth to ask another question, but hesitated, thinking the better of it as he looked at Jordan's darkened face. There was a second of tense silence between them as Jordan made it clear he was done answering personal questions.

"Anyway that's all we really have time for, so thanks for dropping by Jordan." the host said self-consciously.

"No problem" he replied tightly, giving the audience a smile as they cheered. Angela felt proud of him for not overreacting to the situation. He was fiercely protective over his personal life and Angela had seen Jordan storm off in previous interviews if someone had edged too close to private matters. But time and common sense had taught him to act maturely over these matters. Even still he had slip ups every so often.

She smiled goofily again as she watched him wink and flirt with the audience, delighted to see him so at ease.

"But before you go, you're going to play for us right?" the host said brightly, but with lingering trepidation clearly present on his face. Turning back to him, Jordan gave him a cocky smirk.

"I don't know, how many people in here want me to play ?" he said teasingly. There was an almighty roar in response that almost made him blush in embarrassment.

"Well I guess that's our answer" he laughed.

As soon as Jordan began to strum the chords on his guitar, Angela broke out into a huge grin while Jason groaned. She'd expected him to sing something off the album, instead he'd chosen something more personal. Something that both made her so deliriously happy and depressed all at the same time. The song and all it held for them, made her miss him so much. Jordan smiled slightly just before he began to sing, hoping she was watching somewhere. Hoping she knew it was all for her.

"_I was going nowhere,_

_Going nowhere fast,_

_Drowning in my memories,_

_Living in the past,_

_Everything looked black till I found her._

_She's all I need and that's what I say,_

_I call her Red_

_She's my shelter from the storm,_

_She's the place to rest my head, _

_Late at night she keeps me warm,_

_I call her Red._

_Yeah yeah yeah"_

Jordan wondered what she was doing at that second. He hoped she was happy, maybe having fun with Rayanne or Brian. Maybe wrapping presents he wouldn't get to open for a long time. All he wished was she didn't hate him to much for bailing.

"_I was chasing monsters, _

_Chasing them away,_

_Fighting off her demons,_

_Hoping she would stay,_

_Crimson angel where have you gone,_

_You're all I need and that's what I say_

_I miss you Red_

_She's my shelter from the storm,_

_She's the place to rest my head, _

_Late at night she keeps me warm,_

_I call her Red._

_Yeah yeah yeah"_

Angela wished so much at that moment that things could be different, that he would be coming home to her that night. She could see the scenario in her head, him slightly shy and awkward at the door standing there with a small flower in his hand for her. They wouldn't speak, only smile at each other adoringly, lost in the others eyes. She'd kiss him deeply and lead him back to the bed without a word. Not because she wanted some hurried make up sex session, but because she wanted to feel what it was to be complete again. Even for a brief second.

"_Now I'm running forward,_

_Trying to run to her,_

_I tried to be without you,_

_I need Red that's for sure,_

_Everything's still black now you're not here._

_She's all I want and that's what I say,_

_I love you Red._

_She's my shelter from the storm,_

_She's the place to rest my head, _

_Late at night she keeps me warm,_

_I call her Red._

_Yeah yeah yeah_

_I call her Red_

_Yeah yeah yeah_

_Red"_

As the song finished and the sponsors ads came up, Angela found she'd begun to cry. Wiping at her eyes, she felt a little embarrassed for being so easily upset as Jason looked at her with concern.

"You alright Mom" he said gently.

"Yeah I'm fine" she mumbled, switching the channel onto some comedy show rerun.

"You know you could call him now, he should have a little bit of time to talk before they whisk him off to some party." Jason suggested. Angela reached over to squeeze his hand in appreciation as she gave him a sad smile.

"Nah….he'll feel guilty that we'll only get to talk for a sec. I can wait till tomorrow".

They sat there for a while in silence, staring at the TV but not really watching what was going onscreen. It seemed seeing Jordan , while momentarily delighting their spirits, had reminded them they were only halfway through the tour. The length of time they still had to wait seemed to press upon them, stretch out in front of them endlessly. Jason cleared his throat suddenly , looking at Angela seriously.

"Be honest Mom, have you forgiven him for going yet?" he said quietly. Angela's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the frankness of his question.

"Why do you want to know?" she said softly. Jason drew a deep breath, a frown forming.

"Because I haven't, I'm still so mad sometimes I can't stand it. But I know I should, like, get over it or something".

Angela paused before replying, thinking very seriously about her answer. The more she pondered ,the more indistinct it became. Sure, she knew the responsible thing was to tell her son to forgive and forget, but that wasn't the truth.

"Honestly, no I haven't" she said sincerely "but that doesn't mean I'm not trying". Jason seemed to accept her answer, he didn't say anything else as he turned back to watch whatever show was on.

"In fact" Angela continued after a second "I choose to forgive him and the first step towards that, is by doing what I should have done weeks ago" she said more resolutely.

"What's that?" Jason said with curiosity.

"Visit Pete in prison." she answered gravely.

* * *

Angela shivered despite the warm streaming out of the air con of her Lexus, the cooler Pennsylvania wind biting through the barrier of the car. The snow was deepening the closer she got to the prison, making her wish she'd taken Jordan's trusty tank of a Chevy instead of her sleek estate car. The adverse weather conditions did nothing for the increasing apprehension she had in her chest at that second . Her whole body was tightening the closer she got to the state penitentiary, terrified as to what kind of situation she was heading into. What little she knew of Pete Catalano she'd learned from Rayanne and none of it gave her much hope for a civilised meeting. Jordan never really spoke about him beyond saying how his health had improved ,and Angela wasn't sure exactly why Pete was in prison beyond the actual charges he'd been incarcerated for. Jordan had never told her what had happened, even when she'd actively pried into his brothers past. It seemed it was all too painfully for him to talk about it and no matter how gently she asked him to tell her, Jordan couldn't bring himself to speak.

"Mom why'd we have to drive all the way here?" Jason moaned in the seat beside her, snapping her out of her dark trance.

"Because….it's an adventure don't you think?" Angela said cheerfully, giving him a smile.

"Eh no. Kayaking down a river is an adventure, riding horses across the desert is an adventure. Driving through Pennsylvania is not, it's boring." he huffed again, pouting like a child.

"Yeah well…..I couldn't get us a flight at such short notice that wasn't like exorbitantly expensive, so suck it up." Angela retorted a little less happily. Jason stared out into the endless snowy fields, still visibly sulking. He hadn't wanted to come with his mother but with his grandmother gone to visit Chuck and Vivian, he had no choice but to tag along for the ride. Angela hadn't particularly wanted to bring him along either, but hadn't felt like making the long trip all alone.

"Good this place is so depressing, it's no wonder you guys left this state" Jason sighed boredly. Angela scoffed at him in amusement.

"First of all I'm from the other side of Pennsylvania, which you would know if you ever paid attention to anything I say, and secondly, technically your from here too". Jason raised an eyebrow at her in bewilderment and Angela gave him a coy smile in return.

"What are you talking about? I was born in Long Island" he said expressionlessly. Turning her attention back to the road ahead, Angela remained smirking as she answered.

"But you started life here."

Jason's face screwed up in disgust.

"Ewwww Mom! Seriously TMI" he groaned as he shook his head in disbelief and Angela laughed wickedly.

"Sorry, I'm just being honest"

"You know what? I liked it better when we weren't talking" he said gruffly, crossing his arms and staring resolutely out the car window once more. Still laughing to herself they continued on in silence all the way to the prison.

As Angela walked into the large open visitor room, the sparseness of the room struck her. There was no warmth or welcoming air to the place. It was merely built for function and not a place anyone would like to spend long chatting in. She knew this was purposeful, but it did nothing but exacerbate her sense of foreboding. All around her there stood about a hundred small tables with two chairs on either side of each set. Some of them were already occupied with inmates waiting for their loved ones, a men few had pained expressions on their faces. Like they already knew they were about to be stood up, and maybe not for the first time. The waiting lonesome men distressed her immensely and made Angela realise that despite her nervousness, what she was doing for Pete meant much more than breaking up the monotony of his day. Even though it wasn't Jordan visiting , the gesture reminded him people gave a shit about him.

It didn't take long for her to spot Pete amongst the crowds of people. He had put on weight and his physical resemblance to Jordan was more obvious now he had a fuller face. His moss green eyes were set in a hard glare at the opposite wall, the familiar mouth set in a brooding pout. The healthier glow in his cheeks made him look almost handsome and because of this he seemed a little less threatening then she'd thought before. Her nerves at meeting him were quelled slightly as she saw him stick his thumb in his mouth, biting at the nail apprehensively like she'd seen Jordan do many times before. She quickly realised Pete was just as tense about this as she was.

Angela gave him a weak smile as she finally reached him.

"Hey, I'm Angela."

Pete Catalano's looked at her in surprise for a second, as if he hadn't expected her to actually show up. His face softened and he smiled warmly, sticking out his hand to shake hers.

"Hi Angela, nice to meet you."

They sat their for a few seconds in awkward silence, unsure of how to begin. Pete reached into his left pocket to retrieve a cigarette, partly because he needed something to do with his hands ,but mostly it was to help alleviate this frenzied nervousness he had. Pete didn't really know why he was so on edge about this first meeting, she was only his brothers girlfriend after all. Yet the visit felt momentous in someway he couldn't quite understand. He put his uneasiness maybe down to the fact he hadn't been in the company of a woman this attractive in a while. Sure he'd seen pictures of her that Jordan had shown him, but now in her company, Pete was struck a little by her unassuming beauty. She didn't have the classically beautiful profile that so many of Jordan's former squeezes had, yet there was a magnetism that radiated off her that made her so much more than just a striking face. This charisma was coupled with a quiet intelligence in her big green eyes that intrigued him ,and for once ,e saw what had drawn his brother to her.

"You don't mind if I smoke?" he asked considerately, pulling the unlit cigarette out of his mouth. Angela shook her head with a polite smile and Pete lit the end, taking a deep drag.

"So…..you're the famous Angela Chase." Pete said in a jesting tone after a second.

"Yep that's me." she laughed self consciously.

"Huh, you're taller than I'd thought you'd be" he smiled " You find this place okay?"

"Eh yeah, the drive was a little long but we found the way pretty easily." she replied brightly.

"So where is my rambunctious young nephew?" Pete said with a smirk as he took another deep pull from his cigarette.

"Outside in the car, I didn't want to…like…take things too fast" Angela began uncomfortably. Pete looked at her with interest and took a deep drag out of his cigarette.

"Take things too fast? Don't you mean, you wanted to make sure I wasn't a psycho before bringing your kid in?". Angela couldn't look him in the eye, all too conscious that was exactly what she was doing.

"It's okay Angela, you can be honest with me. I'm not gonna take offence ."

Her cheeks reddened considerably as she answered.

"So okay, maybe that is the case a little."

Pete chuckled cockily with all the full extent of the Catalano appeal.

"Thought so and I don't blame you either, but what's your assessment of me so far?"

Angela smirked in response, unable to resist flirting a little in the face of his obvious charm.

"Other than you're a hell of a lot more astute then your brother , you seem relatively sane" she said demurely.

Pete chuckled again ,before giving her a mischievous grin.

"Well that's comforting….speaking of my often clueless brother, how is he?"

Angela's smirk softened as an unhappy look entered her face.

"The tour is going well and the album sales are still going strong. He seems good" she said simply. Pete cocked his head to the side, looking at her curiously. It didn't take him long to realise he'd immediately hit a sore point.

"I take it you didn't want him to go on the tour." Angela sighed, avoiding his probing green gaze.

"No, I didn't" she said softly. Pete watched her carefully, gauging her unconscious ticks with added scrutiny. It was as if she didn't want to speak ill of Jordan, but the words were on the edge of her tongue, pushing to get out. Pete took a deep breath just before he spoke again.

"The unfortunate thing is, Jordan's always going to do want Jordan wants to do, even when he knows it's wrong. It's like the more you push him, the more he pulls the opposite direction. Been that way ever since he was a kid."

Angela gave him a brief wry smile.

"He is a stubborn jackass sometimes but

I'm trying not to be so mad at him about things like this, but he doesn't make it easy for himself."

Pete nodded with a grin.

"He really doesn't does he. Jordan has habit of doing things first and thinking about it later. Like that stupid stuff in the Hamptons…"

Angela's eyes narrowed as she gave him a confused frown.

"What stuff in the Hampton's?". Pete felt the pit of his stomach hit the cold concrete floor as he saw her genuine bewilderment. It was possible his foolish brother still hadn't said anything, despite the fact that the longer he withheld the truth the worse the fall out was going to be. Pete quickly regained his composure before she could see his anxiety. He for one was not going to be the bearer of bad news. Conscious that Jordan would literally murder him if he did.

"Giving a fifteen year old a car of course." he said confidently, internally relieved as her suspicious look changed into one of understanding.

"Oh yeah, that stupid stuff." she said with a slight laugh "he wasn't alone in that particular mistake".

Pete gave her a amused smile as his heart rate slowed to normal inside his chest, thankful once more his razor sharp wits had gotten him out of an awkward situation so easily.

"And how you are after all that…trauma? I heard you were pretty banged up." Pete said with genuine concern.

"I was, but they fixed me so well, I'm good as new" Angela replied breezily.

"So no lasting complications?"

"None except I get this ache in my leg like an old woman if the weather's about to change. Oh and I now set off metal detectors everywhere" Angela laughed. Pete sniggered heartily, finally fully relaxing in her company. There was something about the girl that he found utterly endearing. He never usually liked anyone, but she was one of the rare exceptions.

"And how was my idiotic little brother through all this? Useless as usual?" Pete said sardonically. Angela's smile brightened in obvious pride.

"Actually no, he was great. In fact, I'm not sure how I'd have gotten through it all without him." Pete's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Huh…you really must have tamed the wild beast then." Angela looked at him strangely.

"What do you mean?" she said enquiringly.

"Well not to speak ill of my own flesh and blood, but you and I both know Jordan has a habit of running away or shutting down if things get too complicated. But …..if he stood by you, it must mean he really loves you." Pete said sincerely.

A serene look seemed to washed across her face .

"I like to think so" she said happily.

Pete stubbed out the last of his cigarette in the small metal ashtray, still smiling at Angela. He was almost glad Jordan hadn't made it to visit him ,he was sincerely enjoying Angela's easy company very much.

"What was he like, Jordan, as a little kid?" she said after a beat "I mean how'd he get to be so…?"

"Unpredictable?" Pete finished for her. Angela nodded with a guilty grin but said nothing. She looked at Pete expectantly in silence, waiting for him to speak again.

Pete's brow furrowed for a second as he paused to think.

"He wasn't always like that, he just….had to, I guess. You know,

as a way of coping or something after our mom left." Pete said seriously. Angela nodded in understanding but still stayed silent opposite Pete.

"Before that he was such a sweet kid, so caring and happy. You wouldn't think it but he was so smart ,just not in the conventional academic way. Used to come out with the weirdest things when we'd talk, that at the time would make me laugh, but later when I thought about it… were actually so deep for such a little kid."

Angela smiled at this, aware he sometimes still did this, saying these profound things out of nowhere that would stump her. It was one of the quirks of his character she loved most. Pete laughed to himself as he reminisced for a moment.

"One day when he was about five, he told me that he wanted to be a Chihuahua so he could fit in Mom's purse and be with her all day. Then she wouldn't be so sad all the time ….."

This sudden rush of regret filled him as he thought about how life had been back then. Angela just carried on listening intently, her own heart panging in her chest.

"But then Mom left and Jordan just…changed. I should have tried to protect him from it, but I was dealing with my own shit at the time. Our Dad was a _difficult _guy, as I'm sure Jordan's explained to you" Pete said pointedly. Angela's eyes were full of sympathy as she answered knowingly.

"He told me enough." she said softly.

Pete could see in her face she knew more than she'd willingly admit, but he wasn't about to discuss the many horrors of Mikey Catalano right now.

"Anyway….. despite how bad that bastard beat upon me, I should never have just took off and left Jordan by himself with that fucker. It's the biggest regret I have and maybe if I stayed…" he stopped for a second to look around the prison room dejectedly "things would have been different. For both of us".

Silence once more fell between Angela and Pete, as Pete avoided her compassionate gaze. She could see in his face the deep shame he held within him for the life he had. In the stillness of the break in conversation, Angela thought back to the first time she'd seen Pete at his fathers funeral, frail but menacing in his oversized suit .

She'd been terrified of him, the smarmy way he smiled at her and the general air of contempt for everyone he seemed to have. As she looked at him now, the shrewdness she'd seen in his green eyes was still present, but the dangerous glint in them was gone. In fact, the more she thought about it, the person she'd seen that day in July was not the same one she sat opposite today. Now free of the horrible demon of addiction, he didn't seem so scary anymore, but someone who made an unfortunate mistake. Angela Chase realised, even though she hadn't thought it possible, she liked Peter Catalano.

Clearing her throat a little, Angela pushed herself to ask the next question despite her reticence towards it.

"Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I have to at least ask it." she seriously. Pete nodded solemnly, already knowing deep down what she was about to ask him.

Angela hesitated before talking, mindful she had to phrase this as delicately as possible. Yet the words wouldn't come to her and she was forced to be forthright.

"Look you seem like a really smart guy, and you're clearly _not _insane, so…..I have to ask you, how'd you end up in here? I mean, it doesn't make sense to me how you could get yourself into this position"

Pete couldn't help but smile at her directness despite the tactless nature of her question. He sighed as he leaned forward to answer.

"I could tell you I was in the wrong place at the wrong time or I'm simply a victim of the system, but really, I was just incredibly dumb and unlucky."

Pete's smile started to fade as he readied himself to tell her the full story, the bitterness and shame of the past rising up in his throat. This acidic feeling starting in his stomach.

"When I left home at sixteen, I had nothing but the clothes on my back and a 100 dollars I stole from my dad . I was a scared, skinny kid but I made it all the way to Chicago and far enough away from Pittsburgh that the Catalano's didn't find me. I was supposed to stay with the older brother of a buddy of mine, but a month after I got there it turned out he'd been squatting in the place and we got evicted. I got a temporary place in a shelter for a while because I lied and said I was 18, but I got sick of being broke and homeless pretty quickly."

Pete reached into his pocket to retrieve another cigarette, his nerves beginning to fray as time wore on. Lighting it, he gave Angela a hard stare as he took a deep drag. She looked at him blankly , neither taking offence to his less than friendly expression or giving him unwanted approval. Only waiting patiently for him to continue. Pete sighed as rolled the cigarette between his finger and thumb gently, the light pressure calming him.

"Me and a couple of guys I knew starting doing a little bit of hustling down by some of the pool halls round the city, and we did good for a while, but it wasn't enough for me. I wanted more from life. So…. once I'd some money to start again I left Chicago and came to Phillie, I think I was nearly 18 by then… Anyway I got myself a place in North Philadelphia with a buddy from high school and tried to get a proper job, but no one would hire me. A high school drop out with an attitude problem was not exactly what they were looking for. "

Pete paused for a second, the beginnings of a blush forming on his cheeks. Angela looked at him expectantly.

"Yeah….and then what?" she said intrigued.

"You swear you're not going to judge me too harshly? Because I'm really not proud of what I did" he replied uneasily. Angela nodded sincerely.

"Of course not" she said soothingly.

Pete gave her a doubtful look but carried on despite his shame.

"Well…despite what I may look like now, I was a really good looking kid. Almost more handsome than Jordan" Pete said with a purposeful smirk which made Angela grin.

"So…..I decided to use this to my advantage , I mean, I was always getting hit on from girls and offered this and that, so I started to turn tricks for a while to make some serious money . I knew the bouncers on the doors of some the fancy clubs downtown and I'd dress myself up for the night and go hunting for easy targets. My usual marks were the bored housewives of businessmen and politicians, it was almost too easy and I was making a killing at it."

Angela tried not to show the disgust she felt at him, it was hard not to be judgemental about it. She could see it had been born out of desperation, yet she still found it deplorable.

"But….one day I picked the wrong woman, Francesca Furtado. Her husband ,Aldo Furtado ,was a major drug lord on the East Coast and he took big exception to me sleeping with his wife. Yet he could see I was a smart kid so he gave me a choice, either I came to work for him to repay my debt or he'd cut off my balls. I of course picked the first option."

Pete paused again to take a long drag out of his cigarette, looking down at the table he sighed bitterly.

"And that's really the point of no return….I worked for Aldo for nearly 4 years, mostly transporting Coke from the Florida to the North-East, and I was good at my job. I made a lot of money and had a good life with it. But…. as always these things had to come to an end."

Angela looked at him thoughtfully as he paused again to take another pensive drag .She could see in his face the shame he professed to feel was genuine, it was obvious to her that he felt remorse for what he'd done .

"What happened?" she said kindly.

"You see, Aldo's cousin Christian was in charge of the Philadelphia operation and he was one twisted son of a bitch. Had a side business in dealing Meth, which he was user of course at the same time. ….anyway, one day he asks me to help with something down in the labs and since he was my boss , I couldn't say no. But…. I got there a little early"

Pete's bright moss coloured eyes darkened considerably as he pushed himself to say the next part.

"I arrived to see him beating the shit out of some girl he'd most likely picked up off the streets. The girl was 17 at most and probably an addict herself, but I couldn't stand there and let it happen. I'd seen enough violence against women to last me life time when I was a kid, so I snapped. Next thing I knew ,I'd picked up one of these big bottles of chemicals and smashed it over his head. I kept waiting for him to leap to his feet, for him to threaten to kill me or to pull a gun on me. But he didn't move. It wasn't until the blood started running across the floor I realised what I'd done."

Pete's jaw tightened as he stared off into the distance, at a loss to what to say next. Angela was struck dumb in surprise by of it all, but most all she was surprised by how sorry she felt for Pete. No matter how awful the act had been, she could see he'd done for the right reasons.

"The real kicker was, when the police came around, the girl said I'd been the one who'd beaten her, that Christian had tried to stop me and I just gone crazy and…..the rest is history"

Angela's eyes widened as she spluttered in response.

"She said it was you, after _you_ saved her!"

"I think she knew if she did, Aldo would find a way to pay her back for it. And maybe he did. But I got sentenced to 30 years in this place out of that confession ,long with all the priors they had on me for trafficking. Karma's a bitch, it always catches up with you no matter how hard you try to get away."

"I'm so sorry Pete" Angela said quietly. He gave her a smile of appreciation in return.

"Don't be, it was my own damn fault in the end. " he said sadly.

"No, it was bad timing and bad luck really." she said more forcefully in some vain attempt to lessen his guilt "I mean, it could have so easily been Jordan too."

Pete shook his head in disagreement.

"No it wouldn't have, do you know why?" Pete asked enigmatically. Angela's eyes narrowed in uncertainty and she shook her head.

"You." he answered simply "even though you broke his heart, whatever you'd shared when he was 17 was enough to give him the strength to soldier through the shit card life had dealt him. Yeah, he could have taken the easy route and done what I'd done, but he didn't because he had more self respect than that. Which you'd a hand in giving back to him."

Angela's cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Now I don't think that's quite true" she began before Pete interrupted her.

"No it is….that short tentative relationship you guys had was the first bit of real love and affection he'd gotten since he was a kid. And it changed him. Maybe if I'd had a girl like you in my life back then, I could have been different too."

The vulnerable look on Pete's face made Angela feel like shit, ashamed that she'd had such biased opinions about him before. What had happened to him had come from juvenile mistakes that had forced him onto a path from which he could never have return. It was clear to her circumstance, not wickedness , had led to his downfall.

"What would you do now, like, if you could change the past?" Angela asked gently, hoping Pete wouldn't take umbrage to her question. Pete took a deep breath, a faraway look entering his eyes.

"I guess, I'd have been a Lawyer." he said simply. Angela couldn't help but smirk at the irony of it, but even so it made sense.

After all he'd been through, he probably knew more about the law than most people.

She took a deep breath and went to stand up.

"Leaving so soon?" Pete said with genuine hurt. Angela laughed lightly as she shook her head.

"No not yet. I'm just going to get Jason, you passed the test buddy." she said brightly. Pete's pout stretched into an elated smile as his cheeks reddened slightly.

"Oh, that's good" he mumbled in slight embarrassment and tried not to show his overexcitement at finally being able to meet his nephew. As he watched Angela gather her things together a thought suddenly struck him.

"Before you go though, can I ask you a personal question since you asked me one?" he said a little less light-heartedly.

"Sure….." Angela said with trepidation.

"If Jordan ever does decide to make an honest woman out of you, hypothetically ,what would you say?"

Angela's face relaxed into a serene smile.

"I'd say, you'll have to wait till he asks me to get that answer."

Pete's grin returned as he looked at her haughtily, knowing exactly what she wasn't saying aloud. He had a distinct feeling the answer was already a resounding 'yes'.

"Sure" he said slyly as Angela gave him a wink and walked back outside to get Jason.

* * *

For the first time in weeks, Jordan Catalano had an evening to himself. Lounging across his hotel room bed, he was gleeful for the small white lie he'd told Frank to get out of another pointless showbiz party. His manager had been a little dubious of the excuse Jordan had given him, somehow faking a sore throat. But Frank hadn't pushed Jordan to join everyone else, perhaps conscious of his front man's waning enthusiasm. Jordan smiled easily as he relished in the solitary peace of the empty suite, his favourite holiday movie 'It's a wonderful life' on the TV in front of him and a large order of room service just in the corner of the room. After so many days of non stop social events, a quiet night alone was bliss. It was the bands last night in Canada and Jordan needed the time to adjust to the fact that once he got on that plane tomorrow, there was no turning back. He would be making a conscious decision to not be home for Christmas. Once they were in the air, they would be passed the point of no return. The whole thought made him feel shit about himself, but he tried his best to suppress it and just concentrate on the next day. Taking it all step by step. Right now all he wanted to do was relax.

His Blackberry started to buzz loudly on the locker beside him, interrupting the tranquillity rudely.

Jordan sighed huffily as he reached over unenthusiastically to pick it up. His momentary annoyance disappeared as he saw Angela's number flashing angrily on the screen, a delighted smile filling his face.

"Hey Angelface" he said eagerly as he answered the phone excitedly. His heart felt a rush of warmth as he heard her chuckle pleasantly down the line in response.

"Hey sweetie" she replied affectionately, her own happy smile clear in her voice "I almost I didn't think I'd catch you before you went out."

"That's because I didn't go with them tonight, I managed to convince Frank I needed a break." Jordan said breezily, so happy to hear her voice so upbeat again after weeks of tension.

"Oh….is my baby sick" she asked with genuine concern.

"Nah, I just stretched the truth a little to convince Frank to leave me alone. I barely have a cold to be honest" he replied with a shameful laugh.

"Tsk, tsk you're a bad boy Catalano" Angela purred down the phone in mock disapproval.

"Don't I know" Jordan replied huskily, sincerely enjoying the flirtatious tone in her voice.

"I guess I'll have to punish you for that when you get back home" Angela said a little more gutturally and Jordan felt his own breath hitch a little with the suggestiveness of it. He wasn't sure what had gotten into his girlfriend, but Jordan was definitely not complaining.

"I'll hold you to that" he quietly chuckled, trying to regain his composure. There was no point in getting too fired up if he wasn't going to see her for a while. Even the slight hint of sordid activities was enough to make his sex drive roar into action. Angela seemed to take this as a cue to reign in her teasing, all to conscious just how far away he really was. She sighed contentedly as a comfortable silence fell between them.

"So if you're not out partying, what are you up to Catalano?" Angela said breezily after a second or two, attempting to steer the conversation away from any further frustrations.

"Just eating some food and watching a movie" he replied nonchalantly.

"A movie? Don't you mean soft-core porn?" she giggled teasingly.

Jordan let out a short burst of laughter.

"Ehmmmm no! I'm watching 'It's a Wonderful Life'" he retorted with good humour.

"Suuuurrreee" she said suspiciously before laughing.

"What I really am." he said indignantly.

"Uh huh. Totally" she replied mockingly.

"God you're so annoying" he said huffily "if I stick the phone up to the speaker will you finally believe me"

"Jeez don't be so touchy Catalano, I believe you" she laughed. Jordan sighed in frustration but quickly calmed again.

"So how's the weather in the city?" he said warmly after another moment.

"It's been a little crazy lately, two days ago the snow was so heavy that we were practically snowed in . But it's calmed down now, so hopefully the weather won't turn before Christmas Eve." Angela said cheerfully.

"Here's to hoping anyway, thankfully the weather's been okay since we've been in Canada, really cold but not awful" he sighed.

"And are you ready to fly to Mexico first thing tomorrow morning?" Angela said plainly in response

"Yep, everything's all packed and ready for the flight at 7. It'll be nice to be somewhere hot for a while too." Jordan replied absentmindedly, playing with the rubber buttons on the TV remote.

"I wish I could come with you, it'd be a nice break from the New York arctic" Angela said with humour.

Jordan laughed lightly.

"I wish you could come too Angie. Then maybe Shane wouldn't get me so ridiculously drunk on my birthday like he did last year!"

"I'm sure you didn't object too hard Jordan. Just remember to try not to get photographed doing anything stupid" she said sarcastically. Jordan sniggered loudly.

"If I behave, do you promise to get me a present for when I get back?" he said roguishly.

"Oh I can think of a thing or two" Angela replied coyly.

Jordan's grin broadened as his thoughts wandered to less than innocent things, contemplating all the wonderful gifts they could bestow on one another.. Even though he was really enjoying their playful banter, he still wondered what had changed her attitude towards him.

"So…..eh….don't take this the wrong way or anything" Jordan began hesitantly "but, you seem more cheerful than usual tonight."

"I guess I just happy to get some real time to talk you" she retorted jokingly

"Yeah I know, but you seem , like your not PMSing at me anymore or something" he replied without thinking, inwardly wincing as Angela scoffed in reaction .

"Excuse me" she said indignantly.

"Crap that came out wrong….." Jordan said in hurried sheepishness, immediately trying to backtrack "what I mean is, after weeks of being pissed at me over this whole…situation, you seem to have…."

"Forgiven you?" Angela interrupted brusquely, now sounding less than indulgent towards him. Jordan once more cursed himself for his tactlessness, hoping he hadn't completely set their progress back again.

"Yeah" he mumbled uncomfortably.

Angela exhaled in frustration at him, but to his great relief she seemed to calm again, letting out a small worn-out chuckle in resignation.

"You really don't know when to shut up do you?" she said sardonically.

"Nope! But you love me all the same" Jordan said good-naturedly, his smile returning.

"God only knows why!" Angela said more mischievously, her good humour returning somewhat.

"Sorry" he said sheepishly again "I really didn't mean for it to come out like that".

Angela sighed again in mock annoyance before laughing again.

"It's okay sweetie, I'm used to your ham-fisted word vomit. It's almost comforting really".

Jordan's smiled broadly and relaxed against his bed once more, stretching himself out across it as his nerves calmed.

"Also" Angela continued on, her voice growing serious " I guess you're kind of right. I have been a little hard on you about this all….."

Jordan let out a short sudden burst of laughter in surprise.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Angela Chase?"

"Jordan ! C'mon I'm being serious, so stop being an ass" she moaned.

"Fine I'm sorry….again! I'm just a little confused considering yesterday you cried down the phone, but today…."

"I went to see Pete " Angela said quietly ,stopping Jordan dead in his tracks.

Jordan was at a loss for words for a moment or two, choking on the linger speech that stuck in his throat. When he'd asked her to visit his brother, he'd never expected her to actually go through with it. His mind immediately filled with questions and worries, scared by the thought of what Pete had said to her.

"Oh. How….eh ….was he?" he mumbled, finally finding his voice.

"Good, he said he missed you though." she replied simply.

"Yeah well I missed going to see him and…..but how does you visiting him have anything to do with everything else?" Jordan said puzzled.

"I guess if I'm being honest, it put a lot of things into perspective." Angela said thoughtfully. Jordan didn't say anything for a moment, unsure as to how he should react to her statement.

"Like what?" he said finally.

"That life is too short to be hold grudges or something, that like, you don't know when your luck is going to turn" Angela said frankly.

"He told you how he ended up in prison didn't he?" Jordan asked with slight trepidation. Angela drew a deep breath before answering.

"Yeah he did." she said softly. Jordan rubbed the bridge of his nose, his agitation levels rising considerably.

"And?"

"And what?" Angela answered in bewilderment.

"What did you think of him after he told you what happened?" Jordan said tightly.

Angela paused, conscious that her honest answer was very important to him.

"I thought…..Pete was young and all alone in the world and he made a few terrible mistakes because of that. Ultimately he had no one to save him from the inevitable. Plus the situation was a ticking time bomb." she said simply and Jordan let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, relieved Angela hadn't condemned his brother.

"I guess it was really. Sometimes I'm surprised I didn't end up in jail too." Jordan said dryly.

"Funny, I said the exact same thing to Pete." Angela chuckled mockingly. Jordan couldn't help but grin against the receiver.

"Gee thanks, glad to know how highly you think of me." he replied in mock offence.

"We both know that underneath all this pretence of good behaviour, you'll always be a bad boy Catalano." she said archly and Jordan swore he felt something tighten inside him.

"Only for you Chase, only for you" he replied huskily, feeling a little hot under the collar. Angela giggled down the phone line making Jordan's heart leap a little in his chest, he loved it when she laughed .

"You know, Pete said something interesting when I suggested you could have ended up in jail" she said coyly after her laughter had calmed.

"Oh, like what?" Jordan replied with interest.

"He said you wouldn't have, because of …well…me" she said uncomfortably.

"Huh…..I guess he's kind of right" Jordan said honestly.

"Really…..?" she exclaimed in delighted surprise. Jordan let out a soft chuckle, charmed by her genuine astonishment.

"It's true, if I hadn't met you as a kid…..who knows where I'd be now." he said sincerely.

"C'mon I think you're giving me a little too much credit here….." she said modestly.

"No I'm not. It's true."

"Jordan c'mon, all I actually did was sign you up for peer tutoring" she said awkwardly.

"No it's more than that, it's like….do you remember what I said to you the night we got back together , you know, after the whole letter fiasco?" Jordan asked. Angela stopped and thought about it for a second, wracking her brain until the memory finally came back to her. She'd almost forgotten it if she was being honest.

"You said that , I made the world seem real or something" she said quietly.

"Exactly. It's like, once I got to know you I couldn't stay numb to everything like I'd used to. Then I remembered how to be, I don't know, normal or something" he said simply .

On the other side of the phone line Angela Chase beamed brightly, quietly pleased by his admission. The small delight she found in his words was quickly replaced by a slight aching in her chest as she longed to see him again. At that moment, she'd never missed him more.

"You're welcome, I guess" she said in slight embarrassment. Jordan sniggered lightly but said nothing.

"Jordan can I ask you a question?" Angela said uneasily after a second.

"Yeah of course Angie" he said sweetly.

"Why didn't you ever try find your mom?" she said bluntly and Jordan's cheerfulness deflated. He knew eventually this question would come up and yet he still didn't feel like he was ready to answer it. But then again, he didn't think he ever really be ready to talk about his mother.

"Actually, I did." he said so meekly that Angela immediately regretted asking " it was a couple years ago though."

"Sorry I shouldn't have assumed…." Angela trailed off feeling ashamed she'd misjudged him.

"No don't be sorry, you didn't know" Jordan said sadly. Angela was at a loss as what to say next, so ashamed to have upset him . Jordan sighed despondently, resigning himself to telling her the whole story now the Pandora's box had been opened.

"The year I left Penn for L.A, I found theses letters my Mom had written to me that my Dad had hidden in this old shoe box in his closet. There was like sixteen of them, all from just before I turned 12."

"What really?" Angela gasped in horror, not fully understanding how his father had kept such a thing from him.

"Yeah really, they were kinda nice too. " Jordan said a little distractedly "anyway, the address for the return to sender was in Portland Oregon so I decided to start there."

"And what happened?" Angela said hurriedly.

"Nothing, she hadn't lived at the address for 6 years . I looked for her and my brother Frankie for a couple more months, but the trail ran cold. I guess…..maybe she figured that I that I didn't want anything to do with her on account of me not replying. Maybe it's better this way" Jordan sighed.

"Oh baby I'm so sorry" she said compassionately.

"It was a long time ago Angie, I'm okay" he replied more upbeat, trying to swallow the rising anxiety in his chest. Angela knew he was far from okay, but judging by his failed attempt at indifference, she also knew he wanted her to drop the issue.

"So…..Jason ready for his solo at midnight mass tomorrow?" Jordan said again in forced cheerfulness. Taking the hint, Angela readily followed Jordan's lead, not wanting to upset him further.

"Yep, he's been practicing hard all week. Almost sound better than you actually." she replied with a smile.

"That's my boy" he said proudly, his own smile evident in his voice "Wish him luck from me."

"I will" Angela said more softly, suddenly feeling a rush of some involuntary gloominess as she was reminded of how hard the next few days were going to be on her and her son. It didn't take Jordan long to realise her sudden despondency.

"I'm really sorry I can't be there too." he said earnestly.

"I know you'd be here if you could" she said sweetly, trying not to make him feel anymore guilty than he already was.

" Yeah….I would" he said softly, his conscience starting to eat at him. Jordan's underlying misery over their separation started to rise to the surface as he fought with his guilt. He wanted desperately to just see Angela, hold her hand, smell that intoxicatingly sweet scent that was so distinctively her.

"Oh God I miss you so much Angie" he said hastily without thinking, his troubled thoughts slipping off his tongue.

"I miss you even more Jordan" she said shakily, her voice thick with emotion. He knew she was crying, the tell tale sound of her soft sniffing just about audible on the other side of the phone line.

"I am so sorry I've had to put you through this all" Jordan said shamefully.

"Don't worry, I know you'll make it up to me when you get back." Angela replied as brightly as her could, attempting to stop the tears from descending into hysterics.

"I promise I will " he said decisively. Turning his attention to the clock beside the bed, he groaned loudly.

"Crap….it's nearly midnight. We're leaving for the airport at 5.30 so I'm gonna have to go Angelface."

"It's okay, I'm exhausted from driving anyway." she sighed in disappointment.

"You sure?" he said sceptically.

"Yeah I really am tired, have a safe flight tomorrow sweetie." Angela replied tiredly.

"Thanks….and in case you didn't know, I love you " Jordan said tenderly.

" I love you too" she said more cheerily, momentarily placated by his expression of affection.

"Good, it's nice to know someone still likes me." he said jokingly. Despite her unhappiness, Angela laughed a little.

"Only just smart aleck." she said archly "only just."

"I'll call you tomorrow when we land in Mexico okay? "

" Sure…..I'll be around." she said simply.

Jordan sighed despondently.

"Anyway…..night Angela" he said quietly, not really wanting to end the conversation.

"Goodnight sweetie" Angela said through a slow yawn, her tiredness more obvious now.

* * *

"Goodnight" he said glumly as she hung up and the dial tone droned rudely in his ear. Jordan squeezed the phone in his hand tightly , self-hatred gnawing at his gut again. _So much for a good night's sleep _he thought to himself, his mind starting to race as the guilt overtook him. Sometimes it sucked to be him.

Rayanne Graff loved Christmas. Ever since she'd been a little kid, the holiday had always been her favourite and held a special place in her heart. Even though over the years she'd acquired a couple of strange traditions thanks to the unconventional ways she and her mother had chosen to celebrate, there was nothing she liked more than the sense of harmony the season brought. For most of her life, the tightly knit celebration had mostly been filled with spending the day with her mother and Rickie, this year her circle had grown exponentially. She considered that it was because of this love of close company, she'd taken so easily to the change in holiday celebration. Hanukkah , she found, was almost superior to dear old Christmas when it came to togetherness. I mean, there was eight whole days of merriment instead of just one. And considering her love of Christmas had never been based upon a sense of religiosity, this years switch to the Jewish holiday was not quite shock to the system as she'd expected. That being said ,she fully expected a big present from Brian addressed to her under the name of 'Santa Claus' tomorrow morning. Hell, she wasn't ready to let go of all her traditions for the sake of the Krakow's. When her little monster was born, the next holiday season she fully intended for them to celebrate Christmakkah and have the best of both worlds. There was no way her kid was being deprived of both chances to get showered with gifts. This year though, she was happy to sit in Brian's parents house in Three Rivers with her Mom and play the dutiful girlfriend. So long as she got a present from old St Nick!

On Christmas Eve morning she lay in bed contemplating the likelihood that Brian would buy her cockatoo, when his phone started to ring shrilly on the other side of the bed. Krakow was in the shower, so she had no choice but to answer it. The annoying ring tone was more than she could handle this early in the morning.

"Brian 'the Jackass' Krakow's phone. How may I assist you?" she said in a fake, peppy voice.

"Well that wasn't what I was expecting Graff" Jordan laughed .

"Oh hell, what do you want asshole?" she said grumpily, any pretence of friendliness dissipating.

"What happened to, how may I assist you?" he retorted cockily.

"That is reserved for people I work for or people I actually like , not stupid shit heads who leave their family to make money they don't even need." she said coolly.

Jordan exhaled loudly in frustration.

"You done, because I was kind of hoping to skip the niceties and talk to Brian please" he snapped back.

Rayanne scoffed loudly.

"With pleasure dickwad" she growled before striding out to the bathroom.

"What the hell Rayanne? Ever hear of privacy?" Brian moaned as he scrambled to cover himself under the jet stream of water.

"Brian stop acting like a girl, I've seen everything before" she said brusquely, thrusting the phone out towards him "Fuckwit Catalano wants to talk to you so shut up."

Brian frowned at Rayanne in uncertainty, grabbing a towel from the rail he stepped out of the shower and turned off the water.

Taking the phone off her he gave her a silent look to go away. She rolled her eyes at him but walked back out of the bathroom.

"Hello Jordan. How are you?" he said steadily in trepidation.

"Look…let's just skip the social etiquette. I'm sure you know exactly why I called" Jordan said evenly.

"Yeah I do and I haven't said a word to Angela about the Hewson's " Brian replied in equal calmness.

"Thanks I guess" Jordan sighed with obvious relief. Wiping the water away from his eyes Brian waited patiently for Jordan to continue, but his friend remained silent.

"Is that all or…?" Brian began hurriedly.

"No" Jordan sighed unhappily "I wanted to call you to ask you to give me more time."

"Oh…okay."

Brian didn't say anything else, unsure of what to add. The reason he hadn't said anything to Angela before now had been out of respect for his friendship with Jordan. But now that same person was asking him to ignore his conscience for even longer. Somehow it didn't really sit right with him.

"How much time?" he said coolly once he'd grown tired of waiting for Jordan to speak.

"Till after Rayanne's movie premiere. Then I'll have a couple of days with Angela when I get back from the tour to fix things" Jordan said persuasively.

Brian weighed up the options in his mind ,wondering if he could keep his mouth shut much longer. The issue was still stuck constantly at the back of his mind and Brian knew he wouldn't be able to take the pressure of it for much longer or he'd explode. Then again, the Sweet Charity premiere was less than three weeks away. He could last a till then for the sake of lessening the collateral damage.

"Fine, I'll keep your secret till then" he sighed huffily.

Jordan exhaled in obvious relief once more.

"Thank you Krakow, you're a truly honourable guy" he said in genuine gratitude.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Rayanne is going to murder me when she finds out I kept this from her, so I hope you're happy" Brian said grumpily.

"Don't worry she'll get over it" Jordan said jokingly.

"Says the guy who's never had to live with a hormonally irrational pregnant woman." Brian scoffed loudly.

"Okay fine, she's going to go ballistic. But I do sincerely appreciate you putting your balls on the line for me." Jordan said sheepishly.

Brian was about to respond as cantankerously as he could muster when he heard a tannoy announcement in the background of their call.

"Wait a minute, Jordan where are you? I thought you'd be halfway to Mexico by now." Brian asked confusedly.

Jordan sighed again in annoyance.

"Yeah we were ,but our flight had to be diverted East due to bad weather in the South and now….. we're grounded until further notice"

"So where are you now?" Brian said with concern.

"I have no idea, North-Eastern Kansas apparently." Jordan laughed sardonically.

"Wow, sounds exciting! They tell you when you might be back in the air?" Brian laughed too, feeling a little less mad at Jordan now he knew his predicament.

"Nope, so I guess we'll be here a while."

"Sorry buddy. I guess this wasn't how you envisioned spending Christmas Eve right?"

"Not exactly no" Jordan said dryly.

"Not that I really believe in fate, but don't you think maybe the universe is trying to tell you, you're not meant to go to Mexico?" Brian said acerbically. Jordan sighed again.

"Yeah maybe" he chuckled. The fleeting exchange of banter slowly died between them and Brian found himself feeling restless.

"So….I'm going to have to go before my Mom starts accusing me of masturbating in the bathroom again." Brian said drolly, attempting to let them part on amiable terms. Jordan let out a hearty laugh.

"We wouldn't want that Brain. Have a happy holiday Krakow."

"You too Catalano and I hope you're stuck in Kansas all night."

"Yeah me neither" Jordan said grouchily "anyway adios Brian"

Jordan replaced his blackberry in his pocket as he walked back to the business class lounge, feeling somewhat relieved after settling things with Brian. Granted , in the bigger scheme of things it didn't solve much, he had at least secured more time to lessen the blow when he told Angela. Jordan knew the fallout from his lies was going to be practically nuclear ,but he had hopes that their relationship was strong enough to survive it.

Shane was slumped down in his chair with his arms crossed, a heavy frown set on his face as Jordan wandered back towards him and Robbie.

"Where were you shithead?" he said touchily, glowering at Jordan when he sat down in the seat opposite him.

"Just in the bathroom, I had to take a call" Jordan answered nonchalantly. Shane stared at him suspiciously, before sighing and looking out onto the snow speckled runways.

"You know ,this is not how I imagined this day going at all" he growled grumpily.

"Yeah me neither." Jordan sighed unhappily. Following Shane's lead, he watched the passing planes on the runway as they took off.

"I can't believe that asshole Frank left us here with his idiot of an assistant to rot, while he's fucked off to Barbados for a week" Robbie groaned.

"It's Frank, why are you surprised? He's a dick" Jordan said dryly.

"I swear to God the next time I see him, I'm gonna punch him right in the face over this." Shane muttered angrily "Hell I could be in my Mom's house right now drinking egg nog."

"I could be helping Cheryl wrap the presents for the kids." Robbie said unhappily.

"And I could actually have a proper Christmas for once." Jordan exhaled in frustration "last year I spent Christmas trying to find a hotel room in L.A after Amy ditched me to go to Hawaii."

Shane's frowned cracked into a half smile as he glanced back at his best friend.

"What?" Jordan said ,bemused by Shane's look.

"It's just funny the difference a year makes. Like you having a girlfriend who isn't a complete psycho bitch" Shane smirked.

"Yeah, and you actually having a girlfriend full stop" Jordan grinned cockily.

"Hilarious, you think of that yourself? Frikkin' Asshole" Shane said disdainfully, scowling at Jordan.

"Oh come on Lewis, lighten up" Robbie sniggered.

Shane rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the early morning air traffic. Silence once more fell between them all as they lost themselves in their thoughts.

Jordan found himself growing agitated the longer he sat in the cheap lounge chairs ,waiting impatiently for any announcement that would end the monotony. The lounge was almost empty around them, barely a handful of people sat on the other seats and most of them were occupied by foreign business men. They sat with their laptops and tablets in front of them, busying themselves with last minute work before flying home to their families. Jordan watched them for a couple of minutes in the vain attempt to relieve his boredom for even five minutes. Sighing in frustration, he rose again and walked to the large glass internal window that separated the lounge from the rest of the airport. Directly below the lounge stood the arrivals gate and Jordan paused beside the window watching numerous families excitedly greet love ones as they came through the gates. He smiled at them all, savouring the various expressions of affection ,the hugs and kisses and little kids seeing their Grandma, Aunt or uncle for the first time in a while. Jordan felt a pang in his heart as he watched a young soldier's family rush over to meet him, his father hugging him tight, his mother smothering him in kisses, his baby son crawling over to him. The small demonstrations of the simple familiar love, highlighting for him how much he just wanted to go home.

"You know what one of the things I miss most about Cheryl when we're on the road?" Robbie said quietly to Shane at the end of the room.

"What?" Shane replied simply.

"The way she snores in bed at night." Robbie said with a dry but bitter laugh.

"I miss how god-awful Regan sings in the shower." Shane chuckled and Jordan couldn't help but smile too.

"I miss how hysterical Angela gets every time she see's a spider in the bathroom" he mumbled to himself with an unhappy smirk.

"I miss how Jason can never seem get through a single day with out dropping his juice on the floor, or that neither of them seem to know how much they make me smile everyday …."

He turned back to his friends, resigned to struggle through his misery, when someone caught his attention.

A couple of rows away from him sat a young girl with her father.

The girl was fifteen at most, her shoulder length hair dyed a bright crimson that stood out strikingly against her flawless porcelain skin. The girl noticed him staring at her and raised her doe like amber eyes to glance up at him strangely. Jordan was struck by the innocence that was present in her gaze, the uncorrupted sweetness reminding him of a fifteen year old girl he'd once known. Green eyed and ethereally beautiful ,with that same shade of brilliant red, was how he remembered her always. The red haired teenager blushed brightly as she recognised him, tearing her gaze away and back to a book she had in her hands. Jordan's heart stopped cold in his chest as he saw the books title "_Driving Lesson_" and everything faded off into insignificance. The tour, what Frank would do, what the label would do to him, none of it mattered. The only thing that was important was the girl that was waiting patiently for him to come home. The girl who'd captured his attention with her once crimson glow coloured hair and compassionate nature. Brian had been right when he'd suggested the universe was trying to tell him something, because it was so clear now. Jordan knew what he had to do.

"What the fuck are we doing?" Jordan said forcefully as he marched back over to Shane and Robbie.

"Ehhh…." Shane began in confusion before Jordan interrupted him.

"What the hell are we doing sitting here, waiting for a plane we don't even want to board ,to go to a place we don't even want to go to." Jordan snapped vehemently. Shane's eyes widened and he didn't answer for a second.

"Wait…..are you saying what I think you're saying?" he gasped.

"Damn right I am. It's damn Christmas and we're going home Shane" Jordan said resolutely.

Shane and Robbie's mouths each dropped open in dumbfounded shock.

"But…but…." Shane spluttered.

"Look…. you can wait as long as you want to catch that plane, but I aint getting on it." Jordan said firmly. Robbie shook his head in disbelief before rising to his feet.

"Fuck it Catalano, you're right." he said decisively.

He and Jordan looked down at Shane who seemed to be still in shock. His eyes were still wide, an a distinct look of nausea seemed to wash over his features.

"Shane?" Jordan said hesitantly, touching him on the shoulder.

His best friend seem to shake himself off and looked back at him with a stubborn glare .

"Screw it, lets get the hell out of here" he growled in determination.

* * *

The snow was beginning to fall heavily again as Patty, Angela and Jason struggled through the deepening drifts towards St Jude's . They had contemplated taking Jordan's truck to get to the school's chapel, but with the apartment barely five blocks away from the building ,they had decided to brave the cold weather and walk the short distance. The fresh powder stuck tightly to the soles of their shoes, making the distance seem longer as they trudged down the sparsely populated sidewalks. Yet despite the bitter temperatures , the atmosphere between the three of them was light and playful. Jason and Patty joked as they walked along side one another, while Angela walked behind watching them chat contentedly. The dull familiar ache for that missing presence in her life still plagued her, but she was determined to enjoy all delight the next day was going to bring. Angela was excited to see her son's solo in front of the entire congregation tonight, quietly proud of his achievement and the honour that had been bestowed upon him. As they reached the small church, the sweet tone of the bells ringing out the late hour, Angela once more became conscious of how much Jordan was missing tonight. Jason looked back at her for second as they entered the chapel, catching her eye he gave her a look of understanding, like he knew exactly what she was thinking. Because he was thinking it too, what he would give at that second to have his father pat him on the back and wish him good luck. Angela smiled back at him sweetly as something unspoken passed between them. Together they could overcome it.

The service seemed to pass quickly as the usual recounting of the Christmas story was told and each and every ceremony was performed, and soon it came time for the final hymn. Angela gave Jason a pleased and encouraging smile as he walked self consciously across the church altar, his father's black Fender guitar in hand. He seemed to look around the congregation for a moment, searching for some unseen thing amongst the masses of people. Disappointment flashed across his bright blue eyes as he dropped his gaze to readjust the guitar strap on his shoulders. Angela felt a rush of sympathy as she watched him all alone on the altar, seeing the last glimmer of hope fade from his eyes. She realised he'd still expected Jordan to rush in right at the end, but life rarely worked out like that. Jason sighed visibly as he began to pluck the familiar melody on the guitar in his hands and a lump rose up in her throat as the bittersweet sound of his voice filled the small space.

"_Well I heard there was a secret chord_

_that David played and it pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care for music, do you__?_

_Well it goes like this:The fourth, the fifth__,_

_The minor fall and the major lift_

_The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…"_

Angela fought with the compulsion to cry as Jason's voice grew in intensity and the whole room became charged with inexplicable emotion. She couldn't help but let her thoughts drift to Jordan once more as something rose within her. She was worried she hadn't heard from him yet, he had promised to call her once he landed in Mexico after the delay in Kansas. Yet nearly twelve hours later she still hadn't received any word. Angela knew she was being irrational, but even so ,she was anxious about it. Slowly losing herself in the melancholy music, she shut out everything else for a few minutes. Transfixed by the honesty in her son's voice, she didn't notice the sound of someone walking down the far aisle of the church to stop at the pew she and Patty were sitting cleared their throat loudly just on the other side of her mother, causing her attention to shift in annoyance to the interjecting person. Angela did a double take when she saw who was standing at the end of the row, choking in surprise as her words escaped her.

"Hi. Sorry I'm late guys, my plane to Newark was delayed" Jordan said with an amused grin as Angela gaped at him, frozen to the spot in shock.

"No you're just in time sweetheart. Come, sit down" Patty whispered ecstatically ,grabbing his hand as she shifted down the seat to let him in beside her.

"I'm so happy you came back" she cooed happily as he sat down. Jordan grinned broadly as Angela continued to look at him like a deer caught in headlights, her eyes wide and full of disbelief. He'd felt a huge rush of adoration and release as soon as he'd seen her face, like he'd finally found what he was looking for. Currently her look of bewilderment filled him with even further delight, sometimes Angela Chase was frankly adorable.

"_Your faith was strong but you needed proof_

_You saw her bathing on the roof_

_Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew yo__u_

_She tied you to her kitchen chair_

_She broke your throne and she cut your hair_

_And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…"_

"Wow" said Jordan breathlessly as he listened intently to Jason's lovely tenor voice "He's exceptional. I'm so glad I didn't miss him." Patty nodded eagerly, still gripping his hands in hers.

"He really is and he'll be so thrilled you saw him perform".

Angela scoffed suddenly, her momentary dumbness cured.

"Wait a damn minute, Jordan what the fuck are you doing here?" she hissed insistently, leaning across her mother to glare at him in bewilderment. Jordan shrugged nonchalantly as a happy grin filled his face.

"Watching my son perform" he said cheerfully, giving her a wink.

Angela's face was still contorted in the deepest confusion, the whole situation seeming totally surreal. Was Jordan Catalano actually sitting one seat away from her or was her desire for him to be here making her hallucinate completely? Was it possible to conjure every fine detail of the person you love at moments of high stress or was she actually insane to believe Jordan had come home? Her already overwrought emotions had taken a beating over the last 24 hours and she was fully aware she acting highly irrational. On the other hand, this was all a little insane.

"No shit Sherlock , why the fuck aren't you in Mexico?" she hissed more loudly this time. The people in front of them turned back towards Angela and gave her a disapproving scowl.

"Angela Vivian Chase may I remind you we are in a church so please stop cussing so loudly and speak about this later maybe?" Patty chastised her through gritted teeth. Angela cheeks flushed pink as she shut her mouth and leaned back into her seat sheepishly. Jordan's pride began to deflate as he absorbed her less than gleeful reaction to him turning up without a word.

He maybe should have called her instead of attempting to do this grand romantic gesture, but what had he really expected ? A slow motion run across the church and violins? Life was never that simple

"Angela…?" he began softly, leaning across Patty to catch Angela's eye. Jordan's attempts at talking to her were swiftly cut off as Patty shot him a stern look of displeasure and he sat back in his seat without another word. Yet as he looked back over at Angela ,he saw a flicker of a conspiratory smile on her lips at her mothers rebuttal of him. Jordan gave her another warm smile, knowing things were going to be okay. He then turned his attention back to the altar to watch Jason, feeling his happiness increasing again as he realised he was exactly where he should be. Jason's voice was so full of anguish and feeling that Jordan own heart started to throb with some unfathomable sadness. Yet he knew all the loneliness they'd all felt was coming to an end now, they were all together and no one could change that.

"_Baby I've been here befor__e_

_I've seen this room and I've walked this floor (you know)_

_I used to live alone before I knew you_

_And I've seen your flag on the marble arch_

_and love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…"_

As the final note rang out in the church, Angela let go of a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding and the release of it left her light-headed. With rising of some frivolous giddiness replacing the once present latent gloominess, the bubbling excitement sent her thoughts into overdrive and she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Before either Patty or Jordan could stop her, she leaped to her feet and brushed past them and out towards the exit. Jordan was about to follow her when Patty held him at the elbow, looking at him beseechingly .

"Just give her a couple of minutes to digest things, she sometimes gets likes this when's she's really emotionally overcome." Patty said with a kind smile. Jordan nodded and sat back down to hear the final blessing, his own nerves a little on edge.

Jordan's anxiety was quickly forgotten as he spotted Jason shuffling dejectedly down the aisle in the midst of the heaving congregation as they left. His troubled thoughts dissipated as a affectionate grin filled his face.

"Hey Jay" Jordan called out proudly " hell of a performance."

Jason's head snapped up as he heard his fathers voice, a confused frown on his face. His son's widening eyes caught his own and his breath seemed to hitch as he recognised Jordan immediately.

"Dad?" he said in uncertainty, before dropping the guitar case he'd been holding onto the floor and racing towards him. Jordan hugged him tightly as Jason threw his arms around him. Jason immediately let go again, looking at Jordan in confusion.

"Whhaaattt arrre….you…doing here?" he said shakily, his face starting to redden as the situation took its toll on him.

"It's Christmas, where else am I supposed to be" Jordan replied simply with a shrug. A slow smile spread across Jason's face before he leaned into hug Jordan again.

After a second Jason's seemed to quiver momentarily in the embrace.

"Ehh….Jason are you crying?" Jordan chuckled happily.

"No" came the muffled reply as he wiped furiously at his eyes.

* * *

Angela Chase stood on the roof of Jordan's apartment looking out across the city as the last of her panic left her bloodstream. The snow storm had finally stopped, leaving the city in a sense of quiet, white calm. Some final snowflakes drifted through the air, sticking to her hair and coat, making her glow at little in the darkness. The undisturbed blanket of snow below her calmed any lingering fretfulness and now all that remained was the thrill of knowing the thing she'd wished for hardest had come true. A veritable Christmas miracle.

She hadn't heard Jordan open the door to the patio and jumped a little when he wrapped his arms around her abdomen, leaning his head against her shoulder.

"I thought I'd find you here " was all he said as he pulled her in close, kissing her cheek softly. A jolt of uncontrollable joy filled them both as soon as they touched, like they finally knew this was real and not some glorious dream,

Angela immediately turned around his arms and buried her face in his chest, her own arms snaking up around his neck.

"You don't know how much I've missed you Jordan" she whispered desperately as she clung to him possessively.

"Not as much as I missed you Angie" Jordan replied seriously, his voice thick with emotion as he held her closer. The warm feel of her pressed against him making his heart beat harder. He was home.

Pulling back a little, she looked up at him searchingly.

"What made you come back?" she asked gravely. Jordan sighed as he flashed her a guilty half smile .

" I guess, I realised you were right all along and I never should have left in the first place. We don't need the money" he said quietly. A cocky smirk spread across Angela's face.

"I usually am right Jordan" she said mockingly "but what are you going to do about Frank and the label?".

"Nothing, we're making so much money for those greedy bastards I doubt they'll even care in a couple of days. We'll just reschedule the dates." Jordan said simply.

Angela watched him for a second in contented silence, taking in the still beauty of his face. She felt the all too frequent rush of heady love for him as he looked down at her in obvious infatuation and everything seemed perfect in that moment. An affectionate half smile was mirrored in their faces and Jordan could see in her eyes the soft look of forgiveness and need. Resting his forehead against hers, he breathed in deeply.

"I nearly got on that plane this morning." he said seriously " but you wanna know what stopped me?".

"What?" Angela asked in genuine interest barely above a whisper. Jordan straightened up again and reached his hand up to her face, brushing some of her hair away from her cheeks.

"I saw this girl around Jason's age, probably not much older than you were when I first met you. Anyway…..she had this madly dyed red hair and this look in her eyes that reminded me so much of you that it was ,like, this kick to the gut. And when she went back to suddenly reading ,I knew the universe was telling me to go home." he said with a smile, running his fingers along her cheekbone tenderly.

"Why, what was she reading?" Angela said softly in curiosity.

"You're book." he replied demurely "You can't get a clearer sign than that ".

Angela Chase let out a short burst of laughter before beaming at him.

"No, I don't think you can" she said with humour. Her huge smile remained on her face as Jordan's eyes dropped to her mouth for a second, this tense feeling of anticipation filling him.

"The whole way back here, the only thought that was in my mind was this moment here. To get to kiss you again" Jordan said with building need in his voice. As he leaned down to kiss her, he was suddenly assaulted with a handful of snow being shoved down the back of his pants.

"Oh my God Angela, what the hell?" Jordan groaned uncomfortably as he tried to scoop the freezing powder out. Angela roared with laughter as he stood poker straight and shook the last of the snow out of his pants.

"That was for you leaving in the first place, you didn't think I'd just let that slide" she grinned wickedly as Jordan pouted in annoyance " but this…" she added seductively as she stepped in closer to him and gripped at the lapels of his sheepskin jacket.

"This is for you coming back just in time". Jordan's pout disappeared as she pulled him in to kiss him eagerly. Jordan smiled as he met her familiar mouth with enthusiasm. The months long separation making the tender exercise feel fresh and new. Jordan kissed her so gently, Angela was sure her heart would break with the sweetness of it. Never had she been so happy.

"Next time you fuck up, don't expect me to be so easily forgiving." she smiled against his mouth. Pulling back to look at her affectionately Jordan kissed the top of her head.

"I wouldn't dare Angie." he said happily "One thing though…"

Angela looked at him expectantly, too slow to react as he reached back to the wall and grabbed a large lump of snow, squishing it in her hair with a grin.

"That's for making my ass completely numb".

Angela scoffed at him in disbelief.

"Oh you're a dead man Catalano" she laughed as she grabbed another handful of snow. Running to the other side of the patio, he skilfully dodged her snowballs and launched a couple of his own in retaliation.

"Stop moving Jordan, I wanna nail you" she moaned in frustration as she tried repeatedly to get him.

"Oh I'm sure you do sweetheart." he said wickedly as he winked at her, striking her just on the shoulder with a snowball.

His cockiness soon get the better of him as he slipped on the icy panes of compacted snow, falling flat on his ass. Jumping at the opportunity to get him back, Angela pounced on him and shoved the mass of snow under his jacket.

"I think that makes us even now Mr Catalano" she giggled as he squirmed underneath her.

"Fine….I surrender" he winced as the wet snow stuck to his skin. Kissing him quickly on the lips, Angela rolled off him and lay beside Jordan in the snow. They both stared off into the night sky, a peaceful lull surrounding them both. In the distance the bells of St Jude's struck midnight and the night seemed to calm and still with hopefulness. Reaching down in the space between them, Jordan caught Angela's hand in his .

"Happy Christmas Angela" he said sweetly, giving her the smile he reserved only for her.

"Happy Christmas Jordan" she replied warmly, moving her head to rest on his chest.

Behind them Jason cleared his throat loudly.

"Not interrupt your gross display of affection, but either of you want to make a snow man?" he said hopefully.

Angela and Jordan shared a look of surprise as they sat up.

"Yeah sure" Jordan said excitedly "I haven't done that in years".

Jason smiled brightly in delight and the small family unit gleefully began to roll the snow. As the large white figure began to take shape and their laughed rang out in the clear cold air Jordan Catalano realised he'd never had a more perfect moment than this. Life was so beautiful sometimes.

* * *

**-so yeah….that was the Christmas special. Hope y'all enjoyed it because I 3ed writing parts of it. I'm not sure what I'll write for the next chapter…..would you like another fun Christmas instalment or do you want me to skip a little in time? Either way the shit will hit the fan VERY soon about the secret, so it's either a choice between waiting 1 or 2 chapters. You guys choose. Anyway….until next time.**

**-Red ;-)**


	23. The Tipping Point

_**Hello loyal readers! I know it's been WAAAAYYYY too long. I do apologise for it taking so long for me to update this story. A lot of crap has happened in my life since the last chapter and I haven't really been in the right frame of mind to write for the longest time. But…..I'm back. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it was a tonne of fun to write. Thanks to all who reviewed, favourited and subscribed to this story. It was the type of lift I needed when things were bad. Hope to update again soon (especially as the next chapter es muy importante!)**_

_**Till then, all my love.**_

_**-RedCatCatalano**_

* * *

Twenty whole days of unequivocal bliss had passed since Jordan Catalano's emotional return to New York. It had been a passage of such incomparable happiness that Jordan found it almost unfathomable to think he'd nearly let the time slip through his fingers. Christmas day had been like a dream, with everyone rising early to exchange presents and well wishes. Jordan had felt a little embarrassed by the gifts he had to offer everyone else, the majority had been bought at the airport gift store at the last minute. Yet the gestures were met with delight and appreciation. The very fact that he'd returned was all they needed and nothing else mattered much. Jordan had sworn to get them better presents once the stores were open again, but they'd all fobbed him off, telling him he had already given them the best gift they could want.

The rest of the day they'd spent playing board games, making more snowmen on the patio and watching old black and white movies. The dinner had been a simple, Patty hadn't been able to get a turkey with all the bad weather, but the meal had been more than adequate for the celebration. Jordan had made chocolate sundaes, a tradition he'd picked up from Shane's mother. Sure it wasn't fig pudding, but seemed to fit with the slightly offbeat celebration the family was having. When the day had finally drawn to a close and everyone said their goodnights, Angela had taken him by the hand to their room. Jordan had laughed a little when she'd put a single bunch of mistletoe above his head and wished him a merry Christmas with a self deprecating smirk, but as she kissed him so sweetly the gently mocking laughter had melted softly into genuine affection .

That night when they'd had sex for the first time in weeks, Jordan had felt something powerful building between them. Their little tumble in the sheets had not been their most passionate night, nor had it been the most emotionally charged, but it still felt like something had changed. Sure, he'd always known she loved him and he loved her, but maybe for the first time he truly realised just how much he was in love with her. That they didn't always need fire and drama to keep the spark going, for the first time he saw their love and affection was just as strong when things were calm and simple too. Perhaps Angela had felt it too, this quiet self-satisfied contentedness radiating off her as she'd rested herself against him They'd laid awake till the early hours of the morning just talking in such sweet ,hushed tones and everything seemed right in the world. Jordan couldn't remember much of what they'd talked about, but he knew it was one of the best conversations he'd ever had in his life . And it was in these small moments he saw the truth that had been staring him right in the face, deep down he'd always known it of course, but now he saw it completely. He was going to marry this girl someday. There was no doubt.

The next few days passed in a blur and slap damn in the middle of the fun-filled madness had been Jordan's birthday. Much to his delighted surprise, Shane had arrived back to the city secretly and he, Regan, Angela and Jordan had hit the Village to party. Sometime during the night, Rayanne had dragged Brian out too and the six of them had gone back to Jordan's apartment for a spirited game of poker. Much to Shane chagrin Brian had won the entire pot on the last hand against him, despite Krakow's previous run of bad luck. It had taken Jordan a full hour to stop his best friend from sulking, but even so, it had been one of the best birthdays Jordan had ever had.

As the days bled into the New Year, a strange feeling of anxiety had began to grow at the back of Jordan's mind. Despite the carefree smiles he showed Angela, the promise he'd given Brian remained burning in his unconscious mind, ebbing away at his happiness. It was like a ticking time bomb that was getting louder with each new dawn and as the day of Rayanne's premiere approached, Jordan could hardly keep his the panic in check. He knew he'd run out of chances and Brian's patience was now exhausted , but the contentment he had found the last few weeks had been harder than he'd thought possible to give up.

The winter sun was only starting to heat the icy city as Jordan Catalano lay awake in his bed, staring broodingly at the ceiling. He was felt restless, despite the growing exhaustion he had from the stress of containing the secret. The knowledge that his deadline had approached, was doing nothing but making him anxious to the point of madness. Angela lay beside him in a deep sleep, oblivious to the turmoil her boyfriend was going through. As Jordan's gaze shifted from the ceiling to her sleeping face, a small smile graced his mouth for a second. Angela's lips were slightly parted as she snored softly. Her golden hair covered her cheeks and bare back as she lay on her stomach, both hands tucked under the pillow snugly. Jordan thought she looked younger when she slept, her face free of the daily stresses of life. He reached over and brushed some her flaxen locks away from her face, his hands lingering on her as he gently rubbed circles on her rosy cheek. The warm feeling of her soft skin under his fingertips seemed to lull his worries temporarily, but as she began to whimper and shift under his touch, he reluctantly removed his hand . Jordan continued to stare at her absorbedly as she stilled again, his thoughts drifting away as he watched her silently.

After a few moments Angela sighed suddenly.

"Jordan as much as I love you, please stop staring at me when I'm sleeping. It's really creepy" she mumbled grumpily, opening one tired eye and giving him a pointed look. Jordan blushed sheepish as he leaned over and kissed her bare shoulder lightly.

"Sorry I didn't mean to be" he whispered with a slight grin, his arm snaking around her to rest at the small of her back under the covers.

"You just look so damn sexy this morning" he added playfully as Angela wearily rolled her eyes at him. Her look of derision soon disappeared as a small chuckle rose from her chest.

"Dude, I was born sexy. Get over it" she replied mischievously, rolling onto her side to face him fully.

"Is that so?" Jordan said teasingly as he pulled her in closer to him.

Angela's gaze flicked from his mouth to eyes archly as she smiled smugly, her fingers rising to play with the soft hair at the nape of his neck gently.

"Yep. I'm one hot tamale Catalano." she grinned roguishly, clearly enjoying the building anticipation.

"You really are Chase" he replied huskily before he gave her an alluring smirk, unmistakably enticed too .

They'd gotten into a habit of doing this lately, playing this little game of lingering seduction. Whoever could resist making the first move ,in spite of the inevitable tension, was proclaimed the winner and so far Angela had won every battle. Yet as Jordan drew tantalising delicate circles on her back, while giving her this look of smouldering intensity, Angela could feel her strength waning. With his hair still in disarray from her fingers running through it the night before and his subdued sexy grin, he was irresistibly fuckable. She pressed her thighs tightly together to try stem the increasing feeling of arousal mounting in her as she stared him down. She wasn't ready just give in that easily.

"Did you get that new suit from the tailors yesterday ?" she said more seriously after a second, shifting herself away from him as she changed tactics . Her sudden cooling in affections threw Jordan off track, he tried not to pout in disappointment as he answered.

"Eh…yeah. Cathy collected it for me when she went to get your dress" he said blankly, his hand stilling on her back.

"And?" she said with mild curiosity.

"And what?" Jordan replied confused.

"How did it look stupid!?" she laughed.

"Good I guess" he said simply, shrugging nonchalantly.

"You guess?" Angela asked bemusedly, arching a pale eyebrow at him sceptically "Jordan you could wear a damn horse blanket and make it look good".

Jordan's cocky grin returned as he puffed out his chest a little.

"If you already knew that ,why ask?" he said self-assuredly . Angela opened her mouth to answer but couldn't find the words to explain properly.

"Well….I…was just curious about what you thought" she mumbled avoiding his eyes, knowing full well it wouldn't take long for Jordan to figure it out.

"Curious" Jordan said with added humour as he propped himself up on elbow to look at her better "why?"

Angela shrugged in feigned nonchalance.

"No reason" she said quietly. Jordan chuckled lightly, knowing she'd tripped herself up. There was no way he was letting her win now.

"Right….So you weren't trying to distract me for long enough to cool your raging hormones?" Jordan grinned wickedly.

"No!" Angela pouted, sounding utterly unconvincing.

"Really?" Jordan smirked smugly "I say bullshit! ". Angela continued to pout like a child, refusing to admit her guilt but offering no counter argument in defence.

"C'mon….admit it. You were afraid I was going to win this time" he said cockily as he leaned in closer with a smirk. When she once more refused to answer, Jordan began to tickle her mercilessly.

"Stop." she giggled as she bent over in spasms of laughter, swatting at his hands half heartedly as he loomed over her. She hated when he did this.

"Admit it then!" Jordan chuckled, still tickling her vigorously.

Angela suddenly shot forward, her mouth crashing into his with so much force he was knocked on to his back as her hands gripped his face eagerly. Before he knew it, she was straddling him, her bare ass perched precariously close to his crotch.

Pulling back after a moment ,she gave him a sulky pout.

"Fine I admit it, you win okay".

Jordan smirked again sat up and reached up to brush her hair away from her face.

"Now was that so hard to say?" He asked teasingly.

"Yes" she whined childishly. Jordan arched an eyebrow at her in mocking disbelief, before sighing in defeat.

"Would it make you feel better if we compromise and call this one a draw?"

Angela's pout disappeared as she gave him a wry smile.

"Maybe…but we can discuss the frivolous details later" she said flirtatiously as she captured his mouth again and he groaned audibly in appreciation.

"Right now I'd rather work out some other kinks in our relationship" she whispered breathlessly as she pulled back a fraction, before slowly drawing in his mouth again. Jordan skin started to heat under her hands as his grunts became more guttural in response to her languid, but sensuous pace. Angela pushed him back down onto the bed slowly, still kissing him deeply. As was to be her expectation, she felt Jordan's growing excitement pressing against her butt under the comforter.

She pulled away once more with a widening grin.

"Well someone seems to be very alert this morning!" she laughed, giving Jordan a look of mock surprise. He blushed a little in response before shrugging.

"I can't help it, I'm a morning person" he said nonchalantly.

"No, you're an 'anytime I can possibly get it' kind of person." Angela smirked playfully, pushing herself into a more seated position on him as a look of deviousness filled her face . He winked back at her and grinned in immodest acknowledgement.

Jordan watched her bemusedly in rising anticipation, thoroughly enjoying where this little tete a tete was heading. It wasn't often that Angela would take the lead in foreplay or sex, but Jordan always loved it when she did. Even the thought of it sent shivers of delight down his back. Right now, nothing seemed more appealing to him in the world than her on top, the view alone was unforgettable . He wondered if she knew just how deliciously beautiful she was looming over him so confident without a single item of clothing on. The look in her eye at that second alone, was almost enough to finish him there and then. How was it possible to love someone so passionately they could send you to Nirvana with a single glance? Without any further instruction or encouragement, he moved his hands to rest either sides of her hips, silently urging her on with his eyes. Angela arched an eyebrow at him in slight admonishment ,before running her hands over his chest with a smirk as she leaned slightly forward with a wicked grin. He gasped in strained pleasure and frustration as her underside brushed against his stiffening member, the painful throb of need surging through him.

"Please don't tease me Angie" he groaned a frustrated smile filling his face.

"I wouldn't dream of it" she whispered coquettishly as pushed herself upwards a little .She had every intention of consummating this little sexual game of teasing. Angela was just about to shift herself fully onto him ,when the bedroom door suddenly burst open.

"Mom, Rayanne's on the phone for…OH GOD!" Jason shrieked as he covered his eyes with his hands and turned away from the direction of the bed. Angela was completely startled by his unexpected appearance and in a panic, she scrambled off Jordan too quickly. In her rush to get out of their awkward pose, her legs went flying beneath her and caused her to lose balance. Her flailing limbs kneed Jordan hard in the balls as she fell off the other side of the bed, completely tangled in the sheets.

"Ow." she groaned, her voice muffled by the comforter.

"JASON! What have a told you about knocking?" Jordan growled through gritted teeth, the pain causing tears to form in his eyes as he held onto his aching crotch.

"Eh…..yeah…..sorry" Jason said in the deepest disgust and embarrassment, his face completely red "Maybe I'll come back later".

"Yea think" Jordan wheezed sarcastically, the pain beginning to subside a little, the dull throb still searing through his body.

"Wait!" Angela's muffled voice called out "what did Rayanne want?"

Still standing there awkwardly Jason cleared his throat.

"Just if you wanted to meet at the theatre tonight or travel with her and Brian to the premiere?"

"Tell her we'll go with them to the premiere." Jordan said humourlessly. Jason nodded , a distinct look of queasiness obvious on his face.

"Okay, well I'm going to go…" he said dazedly .

"That would be wise" Jordan said in annoyance. Without another word or second glance Jason swiftly left , shutting the door quietly behind him.

"Well that was awkward…. we have got to get a lock for that door." Jordan sighed. They lay there for a few minutes utterly stupefied and feeling completely embarrassed.

Jordan's pain had finally calmed to barely a niggling complaint when he began to hear Angela shuffling in the covers on the floor, trying greatly to untangle herself. Sitting up on the bed, his good humour returned as he laughed at her efforts. His girlfriend's right leg the only thing visible under the mass of twisted sheets. He watched in enjoyment as Angela squirmed helplessly, hindering her escape with her excessive thrusts underneath.

"You want some help Angie?" he chuckled softly

"Yes please, I think I'm stuck" she giggled, embarrassed at her ineptitude.

Jordan grinned as he got up and started to free her from the comforter.

"This is like unwrapping surprise present, I'm excited to see what's inside." He said teasingly, pulling the sheet away from her face and shoulders first.

"Stop being a pervert and just help me out" Angela said huffily as she squirmed to free her arms. She giggled again loudly after a second as the full extent of the ridiculousness of the situation hit home, this was not exactly how she envisioned her seduction going that morning. When the final twist of the sheet finally liberated her, Jordan leaned down and gave her a quick kiss.

"Nice to see you again Chase, that was a close one" he said sweetly, sitting down beside her . Angela smirked slightly as she stretched out her tightened limbs.

"I know, that was almost fatal. Thank God my big, strong boyfriend was here to save me from the dangerous bedding!" she sighed sardonically.

Taking her hand in his, he kissed her knuckles sweetly.

"You know me, just a regular knight in shining armour" he smiled down at her in self deprecation.

"So Jason's totally scarred for life , right?" Angela said unhappily after a second

"He'll get over it." Jordan grinned as he stroked her cheek "plus I doubt he saw all that much. You leaped off me like a ninja". Angela sighed again before her face relaxed into an easy smile.

"Sorry I kick you." she said sheepishly.

"It's okay, I've no lasting damage. In fact…" Jordan's grin grew as he moved to lay down on top of her "I'm feeling much better."

"Oh really" Angela said archly as she wrapped the covers over them and hooked her arms around him "I was afraid you were going to be turned off" she added seductively biting at her lip.

"When it's you….never" he whispered huskily, brushing his nose against hers as a hunger built within him. Jordan didn't need any further invitation as he kissed her once more with a force that left her quaking beneath him and all their previous mortification was quickly forgotten.

* * *

It was nearly lunch time as Joey McCarthy jadedly swung his legs back and forth as he sat on the trunk end of Jordan's red pick up truck. His patience was beginning to wane as he watched Jason hard at work on his car.

"Dude, this sucks. Can't we go play Halo or something? " he whined for the fourth time that hour.

"Jeez, I told you I just wanted to fix the spark plug and then we could do stuff. Be patient!" Jason grumbled.

"That was an age ago, I'm frikkin bored Jay."

Jason sighed heavily before scowling at him from the open engine of the car.

"I don't know why you're complaining so much Joe ,considering I'll probably be carting around your midget ass in this once I get it fixed."

Joey scoffed loudly.

"Midget! I'm 5''5, the doctor says I'm perfectly fine height for a fifteen year old."

"Yeah ,a fifteen year old girl." Jason laughed.

"Oh shut up, at least I'm not freakishly tall fuck face!" Joey exclaimed.

"McCarthy, I'm 5''10 . Shut up and stop being an idiot." Jason retorted with a smug smile. Joey shook his head in defeated annoyance, unable to say anything cutting in return. Silence returned between the two friends as Jason tinkered with the engine in deep concentration.

The minutes seemed to drag by for Joey as the silence stretched on.

"Seriously Jay, I can't take this anymore. I want to do something" he groaned.

"Go home then!" Jason snapped impatiently.

Joey pouted as he replied.

"You know my Mom told me I wasn't allowed home till after 6, so she could cool down."

"Well you did get caught trying to replace Jimmy's hair gel with flavoured lube, so you kind of deserve the exile dude." his friend replied nonchalantly.

"My Mom's douchebag boyfriend got what he deserved. Stupid asshole had the nerve to steal shit out my room." Joey growled.

"All he did was steal a single pack of condoms, which I may add ,you weren't exactly using." Jason laughed as he turned to friend grinning.

"And how would you know?" Joey asked huffily. Jason continued to smirk as he looked at his best friend pointedly and Joey rolled his eyes in grudging agreement.

"Fine…but I was about to start using them."

"Sure you were man" Jason said mockingly. Joey scowled at him as Jason turned back towards the car with a grin.

"Stop smirking like that, I was." he said indignantly.

"If you say so, but has anyone told Julie about this fact yet?" Jason asked cheekily. Joey sent him a withering look.

"Funny dickhead. Just because you're securely stuck on 3rd base, doesn't mean I am okay".

"Dude, Beth's only just started touching it on a regular basis. I am not pushing my luck yet" Jason said more seriously " and considering our girlfriends are practically BFF's, I know Julie hasn't exactly been forthcoming either" Jason added with a knowing expression. A deep frown set across his friends face as he exhaled loudly in defeat.

"It's not fair dude. We're young, we're virile and heading towards the prime of our lives. We should be out dipping our quills into every inkpot we can find Jay!" Joey said eagerly. Jason burst out laughing at his friends earnest enthusiasm.

"Dipping our quills into every inkpot? Do you ever listen to the shit that comes out of your mouth Joe? Maybe that's why we're still virgins!" he retorted mockingly.

Joey narrowed his eyes at Jason and harrumphed loudly in indignation.

"At least I'm trying Jay, you're too much of a wimp to actually bring it up seriously with Beth".

Jason shrugged and went back to working on his car.

"The last time I was pushy about it she stopped talking to me for 3 weeks. I don't want that to happen again." he said seriously.

"Man, that was 5 months ago and was partly to do with the fact you beat the shit out of Freddy Rodriguez " Joey exclaimed in growing exasperation, throwing his hands up into the air.

Jason stopped for a second and looked back at his friend.

"True, but as I said I'm not pushing my luck…..BUT believe me when I say, the minute she gives me the green light, it's go time dude" he grinned ruefully. Joey frown as he looked at Jason carefully for a second in thought.

"But she hasn't been clear about what your status is?" he asked bluntly. Jason shook his head as he shrugged once more.

"Not lately no".

Joey's frown deepened as he continued to look at his best friend pensively.

"You ever consider that maybe she's ready but waiting for you to make the first move?" he asked evenly. Jason rolled his eyes as he scoffed loudly.

"As if!"

"I'm serious, it makes sense! So stop being a pussy and take the initiative" Joey smirked persuasively.

"Yeah, sure. Just drop it and find a new hobby shithead" Jason said dryly, burying his head in the engine. A slow wicked grin spread across Joeys face as Jason turned his back fully to him, a sudden idea striking him.

Jason stopped what he was doing after a few moments, conscious of the fact the room had suddenly gone very quiet. Almost too quiet. His best friend was not known for his stillness and the lack of even frivolous chat immediately put Jason on alert. Without even needing to turn around, he knew Joey was no longer right behind him on the truck. It took him a few seconds to register the muffled, but tell tale sound of someone typing a text message. Jason's gaze whipped down to the toolbox where he'd left his iphone, already knowing before he looked that Joey had taken it. The tapping of the keys continued as Jason snarled in growing anger.

"Joe, give me my goddamn cell phone back" he roared, throwing down the wrench in his hand and searching the garage angrily with his eyes as he turned around. Joey didn't answer, the only sound resonating off the walls was the furious sound of covert typing.

"I swear to fuck, if you're sending DTF or anything else like that to Beth I'm going to castrate you" he growled menacingly. Jason continued to scan the room frantically, his panic starting to rise rapidly when he could find no sign of his friend. He was well and truly hidden. It was only when Joey unsuccessfully tried to suppress a loud sneeze, that Jason got a clear indication of his position.

Jason bolted over to his mother's Lexus and bent down to look underneath in one swift movement. Sure enough, in the only place Jason would find difficult to retrieve him, lay Joey wedged right underneath the exhaust pipes . The light from the phones screen illuminating his face in the gloom as typed as fast as he could. Grabbing him by the ankles, Jason dragged him out forcefully.

"You're dead!" he shouted as he reached down to try wrestle the phone out of Joey's hands unsuccessfully. The small boy was stronger than he looked and held on tight.

"Let go you fucker" Jason grunted through gritted teeth.

"No! Not until I help you" Joey replied huffily as he refused to release the phone. Swinging back his fist, Jason struck Joey in the shoulder to try loosen his grip. The blow was not hard, but caused his friend to yell and kick out in response on the floor.

"Ow! What the fuck dude!?" Joey shouted.

"Let go!" Jason growled again. The phone pinged sweetly in their hands as they wrestled and Joey's grip slackened on the device .His mission had been accomplished.

Jason stared at the phone forlornly as he realised it was too late, Joey had managed to send the offending message to Beth and all he could do is wait. His faith was now in the hands of the gods.

"What did you send her? " he said shakily as he let the phone fall to the floor, his heart starting to race in fear.

"What did you send her?" he repeated more loudly, his anger returning as he pulled Joey to his feet by the lapels of his jacket.

"What she needed to hear" his friend replied simply. Jason shook his head in disbelieving anger.

Below them, the phone flashed angrily as a new message came through. Jason groaned loudly as he saw Beth's name on the screen, his face darkened considerably as glared back at his friend.

"I could kill you, if she breaks up with me I swear I'll throttle you" Jason snarled as he gripped Joey's jacket tighter, a dangerous glint entering his eyes. Joey held his hands up in defence, not liking the look on his best friends face one bit.

"Calm down. Just read the damn thing before you start beating the shit out of me" he replied petulantly. Jason released him slowly, but his glare did not soften as he reached down to retrieve his phone.

Joey watched him carefully as opened his message box, conscious he was edging close to getting a fist to the jaw if Beth had reacted badly. Jason's frown softened as he read the reply, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I don't know whether to hit you or kiss you Joey, but your dumb idea worked ."

Jason held out the phone and a smug smile spread across Joey's face.

"_I'm ready if you are, I was beginning to think you'd never ask ;-) xxxx"._

"Wow, I guess your losing the big V tonight then" he grinned ruefully. Jason's face paled considerably as his blue eye's widened in terror.

"Wait…TONIGHT!" His voice jumped a whole octave as he stared at Joey in trepidation.

"Didn't you read the previous message? I told her to come over at 11p.m " Joey replied with a small laugh, bewildered by his friends reaction.

"Dude! Why'd you tell her to come here?! I'm mean, what if someone catches us ?" Jason spluttered.

"First of all, where else could you go that's better? Jay, you can't exactly go to her house. Like, imagine if her little brother walks in on you, that would be exponentially worse than either your Mom or Dad. Plus considering you've caught them so many times and not freaked out, it would be unfair if they do. Shit I'd be fucked for life if I'd caught them on the piano, the bathroom….."

"The hallway closet, on the washing machine, the studio…" Jason shuddered as he interrupted Joey. His friend made a disgusted face in repsonse. He sighed heavily before continuing.

"Look man, you've gotten a green light like you wanted and your parents will be out of the house tonight till probably dawn. What other guarantee's of success do you need?" Joey said persuasively. Jason rolled his iphone in his hands as he stared at the cement floor in uncertainty.

"What about Patty?" he said uneasily.

"What about her?"Joey said nonchalantly "Just tell her you're staying over at my house. She'll then probably have an early night …and then we sneak back in just after eleven. You do your thing, and we sneak Beth back out just before 2am and no is the wiser. Simple."

Jason was unable to stop an excited half smile to form across his face, Joey's plan was mad enough to work.

"What's with all this 'we' Joe?" he said wryly, already suspecting he knew Joey's answer. His best friend smirked as he shrugged.

"I may have plans for Julie tonight and I thought, considering your dick owes me a favour , you'd help me in my own endeavour." he said roguishly. Jason arched an eyebrow at him, before sighing in feigned annoyance.

"I guess there's only one answer to such a proposition as this…." he said in defeat.

"And?" Joey said a little more nervously. Jason's eye's darkened as he grinned fiendishly and no verbal answer was needed as Joey grinned in response. It was going to be a night to remember.

* * *

In the many years Brian Krakow had known Rayanne Graff, there was always one quirk within her character that he found to be a constant . It was her most surprising attribute and one that seemed almost preposterous when one considered the general 'fuck you' attitude she exuded about life. He had of course known about this little idiosyncrasy well before they had gotten involved. In fact he had discovered it when they were still in high school, the memory of her choking on stage with Jordan's band ,exemplifying it to a tee. Rayanne Graff did not deal with stress well , especially when she was unable to partake in a measure of hard liquor to quell her nerves. Now filling out with the weight of his unborn child, her frantic energy was almost unbearable for him to withstand without the subtle edge of it taken away by alcohol. Today his girlfriend's unfortunate combination of hormone imbalances and risen cortisone levels, made him an easy target for her apprehension about the impending film premiere.

"KRAKOW! WHERE DID YOU PUT MY SHOES?"

Brian winced as he came out of their ensuite bathroom, his fingers busy trying to knot his silk tie. She was getting really irrational in her heightened state of tension.

"Rayanne, I have not touched your shoes, why would I touch your shoes?" he said evenly, trying not to laugh.

"Well Marco put them right here when he left with his style team. And now they're mysteriously gone. So YOU must have moved them" she growled. Brian sighed tiredly, he knew exactly what had happened. Because it wasn't the first time she accused him of moving things.

"Rayanne, what did you do directly after Marco left?" he said simply. Rayanne scowled at him before she answered.

"What has that got to do with anything? "she said sorely.

"Trust me. Just think back". Rayanne frowned as she grudgingly tried to remember. Her eye's widened as she realisation hit her.

"Crap! I put them in the freezer when I was getting some ice cream!" she exclaimed, running as fast as she could to the kitchen.

Brian snorted loudly as she raced to save her borrowed designer shoes, pregnancy amnesia never failed to amuse him.

"Brian I swear if I catch you laughing at me, I'm going to punch you" she called angrily as she thundered downstairs.

"Wouldn't dream of it" he shouted back, shaking his head as he grinned.

Beside him, the phone for the intercom began to drone. Picking it up he answered politely.

"Hello, this is apartment 2612."

"Hello Mr Krakow, your Limo for the premiere has just arrived."

"Thanks Mr Jackson, tell them we'll be down in 5"

"Will do sir"

Giving his tie one final tug, he gave him a contented smile in the mirror. Brian still had mild apprehensions about the night. It was more that he worried he and Jordan would have trouble being civil to one another considering the circumstances, than the premiere going badly. Yet he was determined to be on his best behaviour tonight, solely to be as supportive to his overwrought girlfriend as he could be. Plus it was almost impossible for him to be in a bad mood this evening, for one, he didn't look half bad for once. Sighing contentedly, he went down the stairs still smiling happily.

"If you're quite finished defrosting your Louboutins , we gotta go now" he said smugly, popping his head into the kitchen. Rayanne shot him a withering look before stalking off toward the door, her semi frozen shoes still in her hands.

"You're an ass" she muttered indignantly.

"Love you too" he smirked again as he ambled after her.

By the time they climbed into Limo outside their building, Rayanne had relaxed enough to be almost pleasant. Inside Angela and Jordan were deep in conversation about something, their heads bent together as they spoke. Neither really noticed the car door opening as Brian and Rayanne shimmed into a seat, their interest taken up by the others presence.

"Ahem!" Rayanne said loudly as she cleared her throat to catch their attention. Angela jumped slightly and both of them smiled sheepishly as they became aware they were not alone.

"Hi" Jordan said softly as he grinned self-consciously "I didn't see you there". Brian smirked in bemusement .

"Sure" he mocked gently. Rayanne rolled her eyes at her friends before moving herself on the seat for a more comfortable position. As she moved, something caught Angela's eye.

"Ray…..why are your heels dripping?" she said in amusement. Rayanne's cheeks flashed pink as she glanced down to her sodden footwear.

"It's nothing" she replied tightly.

"Nothing?" Jordan smirked as he arched a disbelieving eyebrow. Brian bit at his lip as he suppressed the urge to laugh.

"Rayanne what did you do?" Angela laughed, looking at her more probingly.

"She just had a pregnant moment" Brian said teasingly.

"A pregnant moment?" Rayanne shot back crossly.

"What else would you call mistakenly pitting your shoes in the freezer" Brian laughed and Rayanne gave him a murderous glare. Angela and Jordan both burst out laughing.

"You put your $10,000 shoes in the freezer!" Angela exclaimed through her giggles, tears starting to roll down her face as she clutched a shaking Jordan.

"Yes I did okay, and my feet are totally numb in case you were in anyway concerned about my welfare" Rayanne glowered touchily.

"Oh my God! That's hilarious" Jordan wheezed.

"It's not as funny, as at Hanukkah when you asked my Mom for a prophylactic…." Brian chuckled. Rayanne walloped him in the arm as she glared at him. Angela howled in laughter again, her side starting to hurt with the force of it.

"First of all you know I meant antacid, I thought prophylactic was an over the counter brand and second…..you're not supposed to be telling people that story!" she growled . Finally getting her breath back, Angela looked at her sympathetically.

"Don't worry sweetie, when I was pregnant with Jason, I once went half way to Manhattan from Long Island without realising I'd forgotten to wear a skirt over my tights" she chuckled. Rayanne's face brightened as she looked at her hopefully.

"Really?". she said sceptically. Angela nodded in response.

"Yeah, what's worse is my tights weren't even black so you'd mistake them for leggings. They were white" she sniggered again and the whole car broke out into uncontrollable laughter, and just like that, any lingering tension within Rayanne about the pending premiere was broken.

As she once more caught her shortened breath ,Angela looked out the tinted windows in confusion as the headed East instead of downtown towards the movie theatre.

"Rayanne where we going?" she said after a beat.

"To get my Mom and Rickie stupid. They're staying in the Lowell Hotel tonight." Angela's eyes narrowed again with puzzlement.

"Why aren't they staying with you?" she said simply. Rayanne shrugged.

"She said she would disrupt the good karma in the apartment for Bump if she moved in for the weekend. Rickie on the other hand just couldn't say no to all that luxury." Rayanne smiled.

"But why didn't your Mom come stay with us? It would have saved her so much money." Angela said huffily. Rayanne sighed and looked between her friends wearily.

"Apart from the fact she hates Jordan, I don't know". Angela gasped in surprise and Jordan smirked slightly.

"Amber's still mad about the whole teen pregnancy thing then?" he sighed dryly. Rayanne smirked a little in response.

"Pretty much"

"Well this going to be an awkward car ride." he laughed slightly, giving Angela cheeky grin and she cracked a small smile despite her discomfort over the issue. The limo stopped a few seconds later outside the unassuming front of the hotel. Rickie Vasquez gave them all a big smile as he entered the car, followed quickly by a beaming Amber. Her eyes darkened slightly as she caught sight of Jordan.

"Catalano" She said coldly.

"Ms Graff" he replied softly. They nodded at one another politely before Amber turned to her daughter and cooed excitedly .

"Promise me you'll stick close tonight in case she tries to poison me" Jordan whispered jokingly as he leaned closer to Angela. Entwining her hand in his ,she gave him a flirtatious smirk.

"Nothing would make me happier."

* * *

A couple of hours later all of them were flying high, the long awaited movie premiere had been an unimaginable success. Rayanne in particularly was the most playfully happy then any of them had seen in a while, unashamedly basking in the mounting praise she was getting from everyone. Her performance in the movie was quickly gaining critical acclaim. Angela watched her best friend with pride, quietly glad she'd finally gotten the recognition she deserved. After the film they'd all bundled back into the Limousine and headed for the after party in Chelsea. Each one of them giddy with excitement from the unexpectedly encouraging reaction to Rayanne's movie .Usually Angela hated going to these celebrity parties, the unbearable insincerity of some the attendee's making her want to scream at times, but this was her best friend's big night. Just once she'd make an exception.

The darkened room was thumping with dance music as she sat in a booth with Rickie, her head spinning a little from the champagne she'd been drinking. Jordan was lost amongst the masses of people in the club, gone to get another drink from the bar. On her left Rayanne was deep in conversation with her mother about something, while Brian had disappeared not long before to the bathroom. The party was better than she'd expected, and with the exception of the sudden barrage upon her senses by the music, she was having a good time. She watched the heaving dance floor with mild interest and wondered what was taking Jordan so long.

"Angela are you even listening to me" Rickie said huffily from beside her. Snapping her gaze back to her friend, she looked at him guiltily.

"Sorry…..what were you saying?" she murmured in embarrassment. Rickie gave her an exasperated smirk and sighed sardonically.

"Jordan will be back soon, so stop fretting." he said teasingly as he gave her a pointed look. Angela stuck her a tongue out in response.

"I'm not fretting. I'm just thirsty" she retorted with good humour.

Rickie arched an eyebrow at but said nothing.

"Stop looking at me like that. You've my full attention now, what were you saying?" she grinned as she smacked him lightly on the shoulder. Rickie's face broke out into a grin, unable to maintain the pretence of disapproval, especially considering what he was about to ask her.

"I was asking you if you wanted to be my maid of honour." he said brightly. Angela beamed at him ecstatically as she hugged him close.

"Oh my God yes!" she shrieked happily. Pulling back after a second, she looked at him warily.

"What about Rayanne….?"

"She's my best man" Rickie giggled and Angela snorted loudly in response.

"That's apt I guess." she laughed.

"I thought so" Rickie smiled smugly "Anyway I was hoping that you could do something for me, like, some special maid of honour task". Angela nodded enthusiastically.

"You see, myself and Jack had been disagreeing constantly about what wedding band we want and…. we've been negotiating with each other so long, all the good ones are booked. Anyway, Jack and I have decided, since know so many musicians ,that we want people we know to perform rather than hire a second rate wedding band. It just seemed more personal or something "

"So…you want me to ask Jordan and Echelon if they'd do it?" Angela said evenly.

"Not exactly…..truth is I didn't even invite Shane." Rickie said sheepishly . Angela rolled her eyes at him in joking disapproval.

"Fine, so you want Jordan to sing basically" she said sardonically.

"You think he'd do it?" Rickie asked slightly apprehensively "I mean, would he comfortable singing some deeply romantic song to a room full of gay's?". Angela looked at him with slight derision.

"Rickie, he acts gayer than you do all the time ,so I doubt he'll care. Plus he'd be happy to help out in the wedding."

Rickie's uncertain frown disintegrated and he smiled in relief.

"Good" he said happily.

"So where is your fiancé this evening?" Angela said breezily, downing the last of her drink with a smack of her lips.

"He's working at some property moguls party in San Fran so we can afford this big wedding in Seneca Falls." Rickie sighed sadly, obviously missing his partner.

"It'll be worth it" Angela said softly, squeezing his hand in hers "In a month's time you won't care about everything you had to do to get here, you'll be just too happy being Mr Roux-Vasquez". A dopey grin spread across Rickie's face as his eyes shined.

"Vasquez-Roux actually, it sounds better "he said proudly.

Angela laughed a little as she shook her head.

"You nervous at all" she said more seriously after a second.

Rickie looked at her thoughtfully.

"No." he said quietly "I waited my entire life to find someone to love as much as I love Jack. Nothing else matters"

Angela's smile returned as she gave Rickie a quick kiss on the cheek.

"No, I guess it doesn't" she said sweetly. Behind them the Dubstep music from earlier seamlessly shifted into a more well-known song. Angela's and Rickie's ears pricked up as they recognised it immediately. They grinned at one another as they shared a look, the memory of a long forgotten school dance flooding their minds.

"Want to dance Vasquez?" Angela grinned.

"To 'What is Love? '. Always!" he laughed gleefully, standing and pulling Angela to her feet.

* * *

Across the room, Jordan had finally made to the front of the bar having been accosted several times in his journey to talk to people by Delia. He smiled, made idle conversation and had finally gotten away once he'd done his duty. Delia hadn't been too pleased by his short attention span, but this wasn't his party, therefore he was not obligated in anyway to be sociable for very long. Besides, most of the people had been dreadfully boring.

" Hi man, can I've an orange juice ,two Jack and Diet cokes please and a champagne" he said politely to the bartender, a sense of quiet relief washing over him. Turning away from the bar, he looked out across the room and spotted Rickie and Angela dancing enthusiastically. He smiled fondly as he watched Rickie swing his girlfriend around the dance floor with ease, both of them moving in perfect sync to the music. It looked effortless to them and their carefree smiles seemed to add to the naturalness of their movements.

"She always was a fantastic dancer" a familiar voice said to his right. Brian gave him a friendly grin as he turned to face him. Jordan returned it ,but the warmth didn't fully reach his eyes.

"She can't sing a single note in tune, but boy can she move." he replied cheerfully. Brian nodded with a wry smile. Both of them watched the dance floor again with interest, Angela's and Rickie's improvised routine becoming more elaborate by the minute. Their dancing prowess being a welcome distraction from the inevitable awkwardness that was building between him and Brian. The weight of the unsaid issue starting to press upon them and fill the air with tension.

"So….you want anything from the bar? I didn't order you anything because I didn't know what you wanted" Jordan said quietly, finding it hard to meet Brian's eye. His friend shook his head.

"Nah I'm good." he replied in equal meekness. They stood their unsure of what to say. Jordan shifted from foot to foot in uneasiness as he waited for his drinks.

"Eh….Rayanne did good tonight" he said in strained cheerfulness, trying to spark some kind of safe conversation.

"Yeah she did" Brian sighed happily as a small proud smile graced his lips. Jordan cleared his throat loudly in awkwardness, unable to find anything else to add. Brian sighed again as a serious frown overtook his features.

"Jordan, look, I came over here to tell you that, well….I've decided I'm not going to push you into telling Angela."

Jordan's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Why?" he enquired hesitantly. Brian shrugged and his attention once more turned back to the dance floor.

"I guess I realised it was wrong for me to make you tell her. I still believe you should wholeheartedly, but in your own time . Then it won't be so…forced and brutal. That way ,maybe things will be okay" he said honestly. Jordan looked at him curiously.

"What made you change your mind?".

Brian frowned again and looked him straight in the eye.

"You risked ruining your career just to come home to Angela for Christmas and I've never seen her happier in her entire life. How can I take that away from her?". Jordan gave him a half smile and breathed in deep in slight relief.

"You're a good friend you know that".

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just refrain from mentioning to Chase that I knew, Rayanne will castrate me if she finds out." Brian added with a smile . Jordan laughed a little.

"Don't worry, my lips are sealed." he grinned.

"Why are you're lips sealed?" Angela said with curiosity, startling Jordan as she appeared behind them. Jordan panicked slightly as he wondered how long she'd been there. Giving her a relaxed smile, he covered his terror successfully.

"Just something Brian might be doing for Rayanne, right buddy?" he said nonchalantly, looking over at Brian.

"Sure thing" Brian said calmly "Well if you'd excuse me, I better get back to Rayanne before she starts thinking I've run off " . With that he grabbed the drinks Jordan had ordered for Rayanne and Amber and walked back towards the booth.

Jordan reached behind to grab Angela's drink, his good mood elevating as she smiled up at him affectionately as he handed her the glass.

"Thanks" she said coyly as she took a delicate sip of the chilled champagne.

"No problem" he said gently, snaking an arm around her waist to pull her in closer ,while taking a gulp of his own drink with the other. Angela beamed at him, relishing his close proximity greedily.

"How you holding up handsome, bored yet?" she asked teasingly, dangerously close to his mouth as she leaned in closer. Jordan smirked at her roguishly.

"How can I be bored when you're sashaying up and down the dance floor so sexily". Angela's face flushed a little in delight and embarrassment in response to his comment.

"Oh you saw that…." she mumbled modestly . The flirtatious glint in Jordan's eyes softened from hunger into an adoring gaze as he cuddled her closer to his body.

"Yeah I did and you're one hell of a dancer Angie" he murmured sweetly. Her face flushed again as a heat spread into her cheeks. Even after all the years she'd known him, even the smallest compliment from Jordan Catalano made her feel on top of the world. Reaching up her free hand to his face, she ran her thumb along his cheek as she looked at him in rapture.

"You want to come dance with me?" she asked with a childish innocence that immediately charmed him.

"I thought you'd never ask" he replied giddily as he set down his now empty glass and let her slowly lead him to the dance floor.

* * *

Swaying gently together, her body flush against his and her arms wrapped loosely round his neck, Angela was totally at his mercy. Jordan's great big blue eyes were locked completely on hers and he seemed utterly oblivious to everyone else in the room. The song playing on the sound system was one of her all time favourite, Tonight tonight by the Smashing Pumpkins, its melancholic melody utterly juxtaposing with the unbelievable happiness she felt in this moment. It was all unashamedly perfect. Angela wondered idly if things would always be this way, so effortlessly beautiful and simple. Ever since his dramatic return at Christmas, Angela had found herself falling deep and deeper under Jordan's spell again. Sometimes she felt like she couldn't breath, such was the depth by which loved him. Angela was sure if he ever left her, she'd never recover.

As the song drew to a close, the grand orchestral swell slowing to an almost despairing conclusion, Angela sighed contentedly. Yet when the next song started, she couldn't help but snort with laughter.

Jordan's face grew scarlet as his own voice filled the subdued club, the unmistakable sound of 'Red' ringing around the room.

"Brilliant" he muttered self consciously as he dropped his gaze to the floor, increasingly aware of the number of people now staring at them both. Some of the onlookers looked at them with humour or passive curiosity, others with thinly veiled jealousy and contempt, while a large majority smiled knowingly. There was not one single person in the crowded room that didn't know what the song was about and it seemed that all of them were looking at Jordan and Angela. She smiled at them in slight awkwardness, before blushing a little. Jordan's face was almost on fire in embarrassment when she turned her attention back to him, his eyes firmly downcast. Knowing that trying to tackle his discomfort head on way was the wrong way to deal with the problem, Angela did the only thing she could.

Hugging him closer to her, she laid her head on his chest as her fingers twisted gently in the hair at the nape of his neck.

"You know, it doesn't matter how many years pass or how many times I hear it, I love this song as much as I did the first time you played it" she murmured sweetly. Jordan seemed to relax fractionally , soothed a little by her words. He leaned his cheek against the top of her head as he closed his eyes for second, breathing in the calming smell of her perfume. They swayed in silence to the song for a few seconds, letting the feeling of humiliation subside into a niggling lull.

"Everyone is staring at us" Jordan chuckled slightly, his awkwardness still prevalent. Lifting her head again, she pressed a quick kiss to his mouth.

"Let them" she whispered huskily with a cheeky grin.

A slow cocky smirk spread across his mouth as he laughed at her boldness. Tipping up her chin he returned her kiss eagerly, lingering longer than was polite upon her lips. The final chords of 'Red' were playing as he released her mouth.

"Might as well give them something to talk about if they're gonna stare" he said shamelessly self-assured. Angela grinned at him in delight and then they both began to laugh. Jordan's gaze drifted absentmindedly beyond them to the heaving crowd for a second as something caught his attention . His whole body stiffened suddenly as he eyes fixed on someone in the distance. Angela immediately looked at him in confusion, watching as his face darkened and eye's narrowed in a deadly glare.

"Jordan?" Angela began warily. Jordan blinked rapidly as he shook himself out of his angry reverie, his frown not softening one little bit.

"Sorry" he mumbled distractedly as he loosened his grip on her "I have to use the bathroom". Without another word he was gone, abruptly leaving Angela alone amongst the gawking masses. Angela gaped after him flabbergasted, instantly concerned as to what or who had spooked him. Turning the direction he'd been staring moments before, her stomach plummeted as she got her answer. Directly across the room in a booth in all her long legged beauty sat Amy Flynn, Jordan's ex-girlfriend. The actress was dark haired and ethereally beautiful while possessing more natural grace and charisma than Angela could ever hope to have. The very mention of her name made Angela feel inadequate. Raising her glass in a mocking salute, Amy smirked at Angela condescendingly. Angela nodded sullenly in response before turning on her heel, suddenly needing a drink more than anything else in the world. Preferably a strongly alcoholic one.

* * *

Not long after Brian had gone back to the booth to see Rayanne, he'd gotten an urgent call from work. Finally returning to the main part of the club, he found he was thirsty again. Wading his way through the crowd, he reached the smaller bar near the DJ podium. Ordering a beer, he took an appreciative gulp as he relaxed again. The night was going well and he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Despite his lingering moral qualms, he felt as if he'd made the right decision. To his left a small, sandy haired man cleared his throat unexpectedly. Brian turned to see the stranger looking at him with a friendly smile.

"That a Corona you're drinking? I thought they didn't stock that here" he said genially, pointing at the bottle in Brian's hand.

"Eh…they don't, it's Peroni actually. " he replied politely, mildly curious as to why the guy was engaging him in conversation. The small man nodded in response and continued smiling.

"You enjoying the party?" he enquired.

"It's not too bad. The DJ seems capable for once" Brian said amiably, a half smile forming on his face as he gestured towards the podium.

"My buddy Squid will be happy to hear that, this is his first VIP party at the decks." the guy said cheerfully as he leaned against the bar.

"Tell him he did good." Brian said sincerely "I've been at enough of these stupid parties to appreciate a skilled entertainer".

"No offence, but you don't strike me as a showbiz party kind of guy." his companion responded.

"I'm not, but we often make sacrifices for the people we love" Brian said nonchalantly.

"That we do." The guy said agreement. An good-humoured silence fell between them.

The guy chuckled suddenly after a few moments.

"Where are my manners, I just realised I've been talking to you for the last five minutes and I haven't even told you my name. I'm Vince Malgarotto, I work for the New York Times" he said with a slight laugh as he extended his hand.

"Brian Krakow, I'm Rayanne Graff's better half" Brian said jokingly as he shook Vince's hand firmly "So I presume you're covering the premiere for the Times?" he added with interest.

"Nah…my colleague Stacey Morgan's the entertainment editor and she brought me along tonight for company" Vince replied.

"So what do you usually report on?" Brian asked with genuine interest.

"Crime, fraud, corruption, that sort of thing " he said with a shrug, looking out onto the dance floor with some obvious discomfort in his stance for a second. Something in the way he responded seemed to set off alarm bells in Brian's head and a distrust seemed to build in him towards the man.

"Sounds interesting "Brian said nonchalantly. Vince's friendly manner suddenly snapped back to the forefront again as he seemed to shake himself to attention.

"It is, you wouldn't believe the shit that goes on in this city. " Vince laughed as he looked directly at Brian. "The truth is, if you've got enough money, you can make anything disappear." The apprehension grew in Brian's stomach as he saw something dark flit through his companions faux friendly gaze.

"You don't need to tell me that Mister, I'm a media lawyer" he said as flippantly as he could, suddenly wanting to slip away from the over familiar journalist. Vince's Cheshire cat grin widened as he chuckled again.

"Oh yeah I forgot that. You must have some _interesting_ stories from very _interesting _clients" he said pointedly. Brian chuckled a little.

"You could say that." he replied secretively. Vince's grin didn't slip one whit despite Brian's obvious tight lip, but he began to look at him more probingly. He sighed before he continued.

"Well I've got this story I've been investigating up in Southampton since November you wouldn't believe. A whole police department up there seems to have gotten an early bonus or something." he said sardonically.

The muscles in Brian's gut tightened as he tried not to show his uneasiness.

"Really?" he gasped as believably as he could. Turning back to Brian, Vince's gaze was almost menacing in spite of the wide smile still displayed on his face.

"I tried asking a few questions, but that placed was locked up tighter than damn Fort Knox. Couldn't get a single cop to talk to me. But then…..I got lucky another way."

Brian's heart was beginning to beat faster as he struggled to keep his fear in check. He continued to stare at Vince with interest, and succeeded in appearing completely calm.

"You see, late one night I go to this bar down by the harbour and this guy starts talking to me. Says he is a private investigator and he's up here doing a job for some hot shot lawyer from the city. At first I don't listen to him, he's just some drunk guy sitting at the bar mumbling to himself. But then he says something that really interests me." Vince paused and Brian began to sweat. He felt cornered now, all he could do was wait and listen. Try ascertain how much this guy knew.

" This guy, Wesley Scott or something, says during his job he'd discovered some major shit about the local police, that they'd falsified records to cover up some accident that happened during the summer for an interested party ". Brian's blood ran cold as he struggled not to panic. He stayed as calm as he could, conscious any flicker of uncertainty with give the journalist the confirmation he needed.

"Did he say who it was?" Brian said evenly, a cool edge to his voice the only sign of hostility he couldn't disguise. A look of frustration flitted across Vince's face before a serious frown filled his features. He was obviously done playing nice.

"No. But he did say I'd get an answer in the celebrity gossip magazines if I tried hard enough to look." Vince said in a low voice "And I did"

Brian's own face darkened as he looked at Vince guardedly.

"You want my professional opinion Mr Malgarotto? If someone has the financial ability to shut up an entire precinct, then they sure as hell have the funds to tie up your newspaper in a legal battle for years. Are you sure you want to risk that on something some drunk said to you one night?".

Vince regarded him with a slight smirk, before he shook his head in almost disbelief at Brian's thinly veiled threat. Looking out across the crowded night club, his eyes fell on the lonely figure of Angela Chase walking aimlessly to the other bar.

"You know what never really made all that much sense to me about your friend Angela's awful car accident last summer. If she was driving the car at the time, how did her right leg get smashed up and not her left? I mean, how is it possible" Vince asked pointedly, the menacing gleam returning as he glared at Brian. Krakow sighed as he gave Vince an arrogant smile.

"I guess we'll never know." he said glibly. Vince's eye were practically black as he continued to glare. Reaching into his suit jacket he pulled out a business card and handed it to Brian forcefully.

"If you ever figure out the mystery, give me a call. I'm sure we'll have a lot to discuss." he said coldly.

"I'm sure we will" Brian returned with equal frostiness. They regarded one another for a moment before Brian nodded and walked away from the bar, the distinct feeling that Vince's eyes were burning into his back the entire journey to the booth.

* * *

Jordan Catalano stood in the men's bathroom, staring angrily into the mirror as tried to calm down. Thankfully the room was empty and he didn't have to answer any awkward enquiries as to why he'd been there for the last ten minutes. His fury hadn't lessened much despite his best efforts and he still didn't feel ready to face the world, yet he grudgingly knew he had to. Jordan was enraged that Amy had been invited and Delia hadn't told him, the whole situation being a recipe for disaster. Even when they'd been going out ,Amy had been nothing but trouble, often finding entertainment by taking pleasure in the misery of other people. At one time Jordan had been convinced he was in love with her, but now he realized it had been nothing but obsessive lust. He had been almost relieved when she cheated on him and left, then he was free from her without getting his hands dirty. Her appearance here tonight made him wary, what was she planning? One thing was certain, he didn't like that looked she'd given him when he spotted her. Predatory didn't even cover it.

Jordan sighed in resignation as he heard the door open behind him and he stepped away from the mirror reluctantly.

"Time to rejoin the human race" he muttered reluctantly, walking out of the door.

The music was loud and frantic as he walked down the hallway back to the main area, the light from the halogen bulbs an off putting red. It confused his senses for a second and made him stop to collect his wits. At that moment, his timing was very unlucky.

"Hello there stud, you're just the person I was looking for" Amy cooed as she rounded the corner from the dance floor and walked towards him. Jordan internally cursed. She was the one person he did not want to find him.

"Hello there Amy, it's been too long" he sighed bleakly as she came closer. She pouted a little as placed her hand on his arm.

"Now that didn't sound too genuine, didn't you miss me a little Catalano?" she purred seductively, as she stepped even closer.

"You cheated on me remember. That's not exactly something that causes others to pine " he shot back a little aggressively.

Amy laughed a little, leaning in a little closer.

"That was an age ago Jordan, don't you think all the good times we had are something worth missing a little?"

Jordan regarded her for a second, her face only inches from his as she smirked demurely. She was beautiful, there was no doubt, but as he glared at her he realized he didn't find her attractive in any way anymore. Looking at her he found was more akin to staring at an impressive work of art, something you could admire from a distance but never want to have responsibility of taking care of. Up close you could always see the glaring imperfections and work that was needed to keep it maintained.

"No Amy I haven't missed you or anything else" Jordan said honestly. Amy's smirk faltered a second, before a haughty look graced her face.

"I guess someone needs a little refresher" she purred again, raising her hand to touch his face as she leaned in to him. Jordan grabbed her wrist a little roughly and jerked away to stop her from kissing him.

"No, I don't" he said coldly. Amy's eyes widened in surprise, it was very rare her plays of seduction were ever refused. In the past she could have gotten Jordan to jump through hoops at the very suggestion of sex, now it seemed he had no interest

"C'mon Catalano, what's the problem? You used to love little indiscretions in public places, regardless of if the girls were your girlfriend or not." she said huffily, her frustrations beginning to surface. Jordan looked at her in disbelief.

"People change for the better" he said simply. Amy's displeasure was evident on her face as she scoffed in annoyance.

"You know what, obviously you lost your balls not your heart to that dowdy writer. You've got no edge anymore" she hissed cruelly.

Jordan smirked arrogantly and leaned in closer. Amy flushed a little, suddenly feeling disconcerted by his close proximity.

"Amy, grow up" he said firmly before pushing passed her and walking back to the club. Amy was left smarting in his wake and unable to respond.

* * *

Across the room, Rayanne watched Angela with wonder as the antagonised blonde finished off another shot of Jagermeister with tenacity.

"Don't you think you should slow down Chase. The night is still young" she said with slight concern. Angela glared at her petulantly, slamming down the shot glass on the table.

"Nope." she said tightly "Frankly I don't think I've had enough."

"Seriously Angela, you had like five of them in the space of ten minutes. You're gonna throw up if you have anymore." Rickie said as persuasively as he could. Angela arched an eyebrow at him before rolling her eyes.

"I'm fine. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find some people who aren't completely melodramatic." she said irritably as she rose to her feet and walked off. Rayanne and Rickie looked at one another in trepidation, unsure of whether or not to follow her.

"She'll probably find Jordan and he'll make her go home." Rickie said uncertainly.

"As long as she doesn't find Amy, I think we'll be okay" Rayanne replied gravely. Brian waltzed over to the table a few seconds later, a clouded look on his face.

"What's up with you jack ass?" Rayanne sighed unhappily, not in the mood to deal with two crisis's in close succession.

"Nothing." Brian said guardedly "Just had to deal with an asshole at the bar." He looked between his girlfriend and old friend after a moment.

"Where's Angela?" he asked confusedly.

"About to go nuclear." Rayanne said in apprehension as she spotted her best friend stood completely still in the middle of the dance floor. Her eyes glued to the hallway leading to the bathrooms as Jordan strode out the doorway with a slight smile, quickly followed by a dazed looking Amy Flynn. The actress spotted Angela staring at her and rubbed her lips delicately with her fingers before giving her a salacious wink. Angela's fists seem to clench as her whole posture stiffened. Turning swiftly to her left, she stamped off towards the outdoor smoking area, struggling to maintain her cool.

* * *

On the other side of the city, Jason Catalano Chase sat anxiously at the edge of his bed beside Beth. Neither of them could speak, their nervousness striking them dumb. There was nothing stopping them now, his parents would be out for another few hours, Beth's mother thought she was at Julie's house and Patty was fast asleep. This was the best chance they'd ever had.

"So…..I guess we'd better start or something" Beth mumbled self-consciously. Jason stiffened a little as he nodded.

"I guess so" he whispered uncertainly. As he moved over to kiss her, he gulped in rising terror.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked quietly. Beth gave him a slight smile, realising he was almost more scared than she was. Lying back against the bed, she pulled him slowly on top of her.

"I am, if you are" she said confidently. Jason smiled down at her adoringly.

"Okay" he whispered softly.

* * *

The freezing air bit at Angela's skin painfully as she took refuge on the empty terrace., She didn't really feel the cold, the affects of the alcohol starting to take hold as a warm flush spread from her core to her limbs. Yet even still she wrapped arms around herself to stop the throbbing ache in her extremities. Her mind was feeling a little fuzzy, everything seemed far away or something. Obviously the alcohol was affecting her more than she had thought. God she hated when Rayanne was right and clearly she really did need to slow down on the Jaeger. Angela breathed in deeply as she tried to calm her anger, she knew she was being irrationally jealous, but Amy was succeeding in pushing every single one of her buttons. She'd only met the woman once before at a charity dinner, and once had been enough for her to make a fairly substantial judgement on her character My word did she loath her. Angela knew Amy was just playing some kind of twisted game, that nothing had happened between her and Jordan. The odious woman just wanted to mess with her mind and cause tension in her relationship with Jordan. Angela knew she had no reason to be suspicious or possessive, Jordan loved her. But then again, she had been getting this feeling lately that he was keeping something from her. There was this distant look in his eyes she kept seeing every time he thought she wasn't looking. It unsettled her, and she was unable to shake the feeling that he might have been unfaithful on tour.

As she paced the cold flagstones anxiously, the door to her left opened and someone step out into the darkness. Amy didn't see Angela at first, she was too busy lighting a cigarette to notice her glaring at her. She nearly dropped the it in fright when her gaze met Angela's. Amy's shock was quickly forgotten as her mouth twisted into an arrogant smirk.

"Hello Angela Chase, I was wondering where you'd gotten to?" she said smugly, taking a deep drag out of her cigarette.

"Just getting some air Miss Flynn. Are you having a good time?" she retorted acidly. Amy's smirk widened as she laughed lightly at Angela's hostility, this was exactly what she wanted.

"Why yes I am, thank you for asking. It was very nice to_ catch up _with Jordan. We always get on so well. But then again, we _know _each other so well in so many ways" she grinned wickedly, taking another deep drag out of her cigarette. Angela's face darkened as her mouth set in a hard line. It took all of the will power she had not to run across the short distance and throttled the conceited bitch.

"Oh you know Jordan, he is always so accommodating towards old _friends" _Angela spat back with barely contained fury. A cruel gleam flashed in Amy's pale blue eyes as she continued to smirk, fully intending to play with Angela's waning confidence.

"He was especially friendly last month when I met him at the Platinum party in Miami, very _accommodating." _Amy sighed mockingly. Angela's blood ran cold as she heard this, she knew he'd been to parties when he'd been away. Yet he would have told her he'd bumped into Amy, wouldn't he?

"He did tell you we met there, right?" Amy asked with increasing enjoyment of Angela's growing upset. Miss Chase was right where she wanted her, vulnerable and obviously drunk. It was almost too easy.

Angela didn't respond, her eyes downcast as the urge to cry suddenly hit her. Amy stepped a little closer as her smile became more sharp and mocking.

"Oh my ,he didn't tell you ,did he? I wonder why?" she said with faux concern "I mean, was he afraid you'd get jealous? Because, we both know you _totally_ trust him."

"Shut up Amy! I know what you're doing." Angela snapped angrily, unable to hide the shake of uncertainty from her voice.

Amy laughed at her, thoroughly taking pleasure in Angela's destruction.

"And what exactly am I doing?" Amy said innocently.

"Trying to get to me to doubt Jordan." she hissed, tears starting to prick at he eyes.

"Now why would I something like that? Jordan's my friend. I wouldn't want to do anything that could jeopardise either your relationship with him or mine."

Angela glared at her, the urge to hit her or run away and cry like a baby, was fighting for control inside her.

"Wow, you guys must have some serious issues if you're so easily suspicious of him. I mean, do you even know Jordan?" Amy said again in the fake innocent tone, yet it seemed to hit Angela square in the chest.

Why was she so easily distrustful of him around Amy?

Angela knew he hated her just as much as she did, so why did find herself succumbing to the green-eyed monster.? It didn't make sense to her. Maybe Amy was right, how well did she really know Jordan? For one, he had held things back from her in the past and some small part of the rational side of her brain still believed he was hiding something. He'd strayed before, what made her so special that he wasn't capable of doing it again?

Giving Amy one more disgusted look, she walked off towards the club again as her bottom lip began to tremble and the first of her tears broke through the barrier. Behind her Amy laughed, sometimes she loved being a manipulative bitch.

* * *

Jordan was standing nonchalantly by the bar talking to Delia and a few others when Angela reached him. Without saying a word, she grabbed him by the hand and dragged him away. It was too dark for him to see her face, but he let her lead him away in slight bewilderment. He had no idea what had gotten into her, but her assertiveness amused him. Before he knew it ,she had pulled him into a cubicle in the ladies bathroom and kissed him aggressively. Pulling the door firmly behind them, she pushed him back against it and kissed him as if her life depended on it. In that moment she needed him more than she ever had before. While she didn't exactly like having sex in public places, right now all she wanted was to claim him as hers. She needed something to distract from the aching pain in her chest Amy had caused. Angela needed to remember why her and Jordan were unbreakable. She needed the connection that only physical acts of love could bring.

It all happened so fast, Jordan had barely any time to register anything other than the wonderful feeling of he mouth against his and her hands snaking under his shirt. Jordan got so caught up by the excitement of it all he soon found himself being pushed down on to the top of the toilet seat as Angela straddled him.

"Angie, what are you doing?" he panted heavily, her spontaneity was severely turning him on.

"I would have thought that was obvious" she purred heatedly between kisses. Jordan chuckled softly as he surrendered himself to just go with the flow and returned her kisses with enthusiasm. It wasn't exactly the most romantic of settings, but he wasn't really complaining.

He was beginning to get into his rhythm, exploring her chest and lower waist with his hands, when he started to taste the salty wetness on her mouth and feel the increasing dampness on her cheeks. Angela was crying. Pushing her gently away he looked at her with concern. He now for the first time saw her red rimmed eyes and tearstained cheeks. Her gaze was dark and distrustful, and he could tell she wasn't exactly sober either. The warm flush on her cheeks was far too hot to be solely caused from the short make-out session.

"Angela, are you okay?" he said softly.

"I'm fine. Just stop talking" She replied huskily, as tried she to pull him in again. Jordan pushed her away once more3. as he looked at her more searchingly. What ever confidence she'd had left her, and she looked at him woundedly, feeling totally rejected.

"Angela, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he said with added concern, watching as more tears fell from her eyes.

"It's nothing" she whispered sadly as she tried to smile.

Jordan cupped her face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"It's not nothing" he whispered seriously. "What happened?".

Angela face scrunched up again as she tried to stop the tears.

"Amy" she mumbled miserably, staring at the floor. Jordan exhaled loudly in resignation, of course Amy had gotten to Angela.

"What did she do Angie?" he said sweetly, trying to get her to look at him.

"She….she….she was messing with my head. Making me question things, you know about us….. I don't know why I listened" she cried. Jordan ran his thumb along her cheek to try sooth her a little as she looked at him forlornly.

"Angie, Amy Flynn spends her life trying to make others feel small. Don't believe a word she says. Ever" Jordan said firmly.

Angela 's face was forlorn as she sighed, the alcohol in her blood making her gaze slightly detached as she looked at him. Even still he saw she'd taken in what he'd said.

"Jordan" she whispered vulnerably, as her eyes dropped again "Why do you love me?"

"You're my dream girl, you know that" he whispered affectionately as he held her face between his hands and gave her forehead a kiss. Angela smiled for a split second before her confidence seemed to lessen again.

"But why?" she said

The question threw him off balance and he didn't answer immediately. He never had to quantify something like that before.

"I guess" he began hesitantly as he gently lifted her chin to look at her face "It's because you love me despite every bad thing I've ever done in my life. You get me and I don't think there's a single person in the world I can depend on like that, not even Shane ". Angela's dark sadness dissipated a little and it gave him the confidence to continue on.

"I love you, because you remember all the little things, like my favourite sandwich or the fact I secretly love snuggies." he smiled and Angela couldn't help but smile too.

"Angela, I can't imagine growing, old ,fat and senile with anyone but you." he said sweetly. Angela's small smile grew into a beaming grin.

"Jordan….you're never going to be fat, you'll probably going to be one of those freakishly handsome old men like Paul Newman." She joked. Jordan's heart did a little leap, he was overjoyed to see the old spark back in her eyes. She sighed contentedly and put her head against his chest, momentary lulled and reassured. But even still there was that niggling feeling of doubt and distrust that wouldn't leave.

"Were you at the Platinum party last month?" Angela said seriously after a brief interval, rising up to look at him with interest. Jordan frowned in confusion, not really knowing what that had to do with anything.

"Yeah I was" he replied warily.

"Did you happen to meet Amy at that party?" Angela asked evenly, watching his reactions with curiosity.

"No, we left just after she arrived" he said huffily, not understanding why she was cross examining him.

"You swear." Angela asked with minor distrust.

"Angela where is this coming from? Why are you asking me this?" Jordan said in annoyance.

"Just answer the question Jordan" Angela said blankly, her eyes boring in to his.

"Is this what this all about? Amy filled your head with shit and now you think I cheated on you or something? What the hell Angela" he snapped angrily. Angela looked at him sheepishly as she dropped her gaze again. She was being a tad ridiculous.

"What have I got to do to make you trust me?" Jordan hissed desperately, gripping her by the shoulders.

"I know I must sound crazy Jordan, but ever since you came back from touring I just keep getting this feeling you're hiding something." she said quickly, her face flushing pink in shame at her drunken confession.

Jordan froze, his heart stopping dead in his chest. Panic started to fill his whole body as he digested what she'd said. Angela had always been able to see things he often didn't see in himself and obviously his growing unease over the secret had been more apparent then he'd thought. He struggled to find the words to respond adequately. Even through her drunken haze Angela noticed his sudden silence immediately.

"Wait….is there something you need to tell me?" she asked in horror. Jordan weighed up his options in his mind, taking into consideration how she'd react to the truth. It would be a lot less messy if she wasn't already emotionally overwrought and blatantly drunk, yet maybe this was the opportune moment. For one, at least she'd stop thinking he was being disloyal. It was like taking off a band aid, it was often easier to just rip it off and take the short burst of pain than languishing in fear of the pain. It was time. At this point the had no choice, he couldn't lie to her face.

"Angela…." he began solemnly.

"Yo Chase are you in here?" Rayanne's voice interrupted loudly from the other side of the cubicle. Jordan cursed her internally for perfect timing as per usual.

"Chase?" Rayanne said again, this time more anxiously.

"In here Graff." Angela replied as enthusiastically as he felt.

"Oh thank God I found you, I couldn't find shit face Catalano anywhere." she said in relief.

"Shit face is present and accounted for" Jordan said dryly as Angela smirked.

"Oh" Rayanne began awkwardly with a short chuckle "sorry to interrupt whatever you were doing, but you're Mom called Angelika". Angela and Jordan frowned at one another with trepidation.

"Yeah and what did she want?" Angela said uneasily.

"She said there was a little incident with Jason that you two need to go home and deal with." Rayanne said simply. Jordan sighed in annoyance at his son's uncanny ability to find trouble. Angela rolled her eyes in exasperation before she got off his lap and opened the cubicle door.

"Incident? What sort of incident?" Angela asked unhappily. Rayanne shrugged.

"She didn't say, just asked you to come home soon."

Angela exhaled huffily, before turning to look at Jordan.

"You want to go home." She asked jadedly.

"I doubt we've a choice" he smirked in resignation.

* * *

The party was starting to wind down a little as Rayanne, Angela and Jordan exited the bathroom. The music was much more calm and subdued then it has been and it had the immediate affect of calming Angela's lingering apprehensions towards Jordan. Taking his hand in hers, she gave him a small smile of apology for doubting him. He smiled back at her in acknowledgement, a pang of guilty coursing through him as he convinced himself that sometimes ignorance was bliss. Right now, it was better that she still didn't know. Walking hand in hand across the dance floor, the atmosphere between them was affectionately light again. As they neared the last booth before the cloak room, they spotted Amy again. She was chatting to some friends and did not notice the couple. Angela stopped dead in her tracks as she stared for a moment.

"C'mon Angie, it's not worth it" Jordan whispered persuasively as he leaned in close. Angela breathed in deeply.

"Just wait here a second, there is something I have to say" she said resolutely, still staring darkly at Amy's table.

Before either Jordan or Rayanne could stop her, she marched over to Amy's booth.

"What's Jordan's favourite sandwich?" Angela asked suddenly, startling Amy. Angela did not care one whit when everyone else at the table stared at her like she was crazy.

"Excuse me?" Amy replied sourly.

"You said you guys know one another so well, so I was curious whether you know Jordan Catalano's favourite sandwich" Angela said again eerily calm. Amy looked at her in exasperated confusion.

"I don't know a Reuben?"

"Nope. A Philly Cheese steak. What's his favourite flavour of Doritos? His favourite Star Wars movie and actor that played Batman?" Angela asked again with strange calmness.

"What are you trying to prove with these ridiculous questions?" Amy exclaimed in annoyance.

"Just answer my questions and I'll answer yours"

"Oh for Fuck sake I don't know. Now piss off" Amy shouted.

"The answers were, all of them, the Empire Strikes Back and Adam West. The point of them ,was to answer what you asked me earlier. You know, if I actually know Jordan? Bitch no one knows him better" Angela replied brashly. Amy's face darkened.

"So?" she retorted petulantly "You're still nothing but a momentary distraction for him. He'll get bored."

Angela laughed at little at her petty attempt at sabotage.

"Yeah maybe, but I'm still the one he ditched a very lucrative tour to spend Christmas with. The truth is Amy, despite all the fake ho's like you he's forced to flirt with for the sake of his career and all the desperate girls that throw themselves at him, I'm the one he comes home to every time. And tonight I'll be the one taking him home and screwing his brains out. "

Amy's eyes widened in complete surprise at Angela's brazenness and she was unable to respond. She hadn't expected her adversary to recover so well and best her at her own game.

"You see, you may the type of girl every guy wants to fuck Amy, but I'm the type of girl every guy wants to marry and in the end ,that matters more" Angela grinned with glee before turning on her heel. Amy's mouth fell open and she gaped after Angela speechlessly in astonishment. Angela strolled up to Jordan with a confident bounce in her step. He arched an impressed eyebrow at her.

"Feeling better?" he asked with a hint of pride in his voice.

"Infinitely" she smiled as she leaned up and kissed him briefly "lets go home" she added happily.

With that he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close as he led them out of the club, a growing smile on his face.

* * *

There had not been many moments in his short life that Jason had experienced that felt more awkward then right now. Sitting guiltily at the kitchen table across from his fuming Grandmother, he had never been so self conscious. Patty couldn't even look at him , she was so mad. The kitchen was silent, the only sound disrupting the eerie quiet was the old grandfather clock by the stairs. Everyone else had been sent home, Joey's Mom had been puce in colour when she'd collected the wayward teen, and Jason had been ordered to sit in the kitchen to await his fate when his parents returned. He knew his mother was going to kill him, she'd always been strict about the 'no girls after 10' rule for exactly the reason he was in trouble right now . Jason was sure he wouldn't be let out of the house again until he was 40 if she had her way. His Dad, well Jordan would probably support Angela's punishment while secretly congratulating him when she wasn't looking. At least he hoped Jordan, it seemed the type of thing he'd do in the circumstance. Regardless, Jason was willing to accept his punishment, it had been idiotically stupid to get caught when things were so easily hidden. He'd unfortunately made the rookie mistake of letting Joey use the guest room beside his grandmothers room. His best friends loud panic attack in the middle of foreplay had woken Patty up and from then on, their cards had been marked. But Jason didn't care really as he smiled to himself, he'd had sex. Therefore, totally worth it!

Despite his momentary pride, Jason winced as he heard his mother thunder up the stairs. Obviously someone else had told Angela before Patty had gotten the chance.

"Jason Graham Catalano Chase, you are in so much trouble right now! How dare you do this" she roared as she crossed the room, her features dark and angry. Behind her, Jordan came up the stairs slowly, an unreadable expression on his face. Jason stared at the floor sheepishly as he mumbled an apology.

"Who told you?" Patty asked in mild surprise.

"Karen McCarthy, she sent me a text apologising for her son trying to use my house as a hook up point." Angela spat out, sending a murderous glare towards Jason "I got a very similar one from Julie's Mom and Beth's."

Patty nodded as she rose to her feet.

"Well then, I think it is fairly redundant for me to still be up to deal with this" she said jadedly "I leave this in your capable hands Angela. Goodnight ".

With that she gave her daughter a kiss and shuffled sleepily back down the hallway to her room.

"Jason what the hell were you thinking sneaking everyone in?" Angela growled as she as sat down noisily in the chair beside him. Jason shrugged as he face grew bright red, his eyes securely downcast. On the other side of him, Jordan sat down with a strange calm. It was an odd atmosphere that surrounded the young man, fire on one side and ice on the other.

"Jason answer me!" Angela hissed.

"I….I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to be with Beth" he mumbled in humiliation.

"Be with Beth? Jason you see your girlfriend more than you see your family. How much more time do you need?" she said huffily.

Meeting her eye for a second, Jason looked at his mother uncomfortably.

"That's not what I meant" he said quietly. Jordan's eyebrows rose high as he instantly understood what his son was saying. Angela looked across at him in slight confusion, not quite getting why Jordan was looking so surprised. When he smirked slightly it finally dawned on her.

"You snuck your girlfriend so you could have sex!" she spluttered in disbelief "Oh my god! What the hell is wrong with you".

Jason's eyes narrowed as he momentarily forgot his embarrassment.

"Nothing! I love her and we were ready." he said touchily.

"You love her. You're fifteen years old, what the fuck do you know about love Jason.? she shouted back.

"About as much as you did." he spat back. Angela was speechless as he cut short her argument. How could she counter his line of reasoning when she was engaged in a serious relationship with the same guy she'd love since the age of fifteen.

Jordan started to feel uneasy as Angela's face grew redder and redder in anger. He could feel it, she was about to completely overreact to the situation.

"Angela, you look tired. Why don't you go to bed and I'll take it from here?" he said calmly, trying to diffuse the growing tension.

"No way, you'll probably high five him and give some money for condoms the minute I'm out of earshot." she hissed.

"Angela please, you're tired, emotional and frankly drunk and it's making you unreasonable. Please just go to bed and let me handle this." Jordan said more firmly.

Angela scowled, her anger now turning on him.

"Fuck no!". Jordan's own temper started to rise as he stared her down.

"For once in your life will you just listen to me and not be so bull-headed. Just go to bed" he said in low voice with authority. Angela opened her mouth to argue again but Jordan shot her a warning look and she rolled her eyes in response.

"Fine" she said rising to her feet "But I'm holding you personally responsible if Beth Sanchez gets pregnant. Got it".

With that she stamped loudly upstairs in a flurry of indignation.

Jason breathed out a sigh of relief as the atmosphere calmed again.

"Thanks Dad, she was completely overreacting" he said happily.

"Shut up Junior. I just took a bullet for you." Jordan growled. Jason's shoulders slumped again and he looked at his father sheepishly.

"Sorry".

Jordan sighed as his face relaxed a little.

"Look your Mom is going to ask me exactly what we talked about ,so I'm going to have ask you some personal questions that you need to answer honestly."

Jason nodded in agreement and braced himself for the inevitable embarrassment.

"Did you have sex?" Jordan said evenly.

"Yes" Jason said openly and a small smile tugged at the edge of Jordan's mouth.

"Did you use protection?"

"Yes".

"Did Joey?".

Jason suppressed a smile as he tried not laugh.

"He didn't need it, he had a panic attack before they even got to 3rd base".

Jordan snorted loudly.

"Poor guy." he laughed as his eyes lit up with amusement

They sat there for a few seconds in good humour, the situation too funny not to enjoy a little.

"Look Jason, I understand you sneaking Beth in, but being talked into letting Joey in was honestly retarded." Jordan said pointedly. Jason cheeks flashed pink and he nodded in resignation.

"I know." he said quietly. The clock behind them struck three a.m and Jordan suddenly felt exhausted. It had been a full day.

"You know what you did was highly irresponsible, so I can't let this slide. Your Mom won't let me do it. So I'm sorry Jay but you're grounded indefinitely. And I'm taking your phone in the morning" Jordan said firmly as Jason looked at him beseechingly.

"Dad!" he began.

"Jay, if you do the crime you have to do the time." Jordan replied simply he got up from his seat "Now I'm going to bed. Hopefully you're mother won't smother me in my sleep."

Jason pouted like a toddler as he leaned his head against his arm, he hated being grounded.

"By the way" Jordan said more brightly as he gripped Jason by the shoulders "Congratulations!".

Jason gave him a bashful half smile as his father grinned proudly all the way up the stairs.

* * *

When Jordan reached their room, Angela was already in bed, her arms crossed in annoyance as she glowered at him.

"So I guess you let him off Scot free then" she said tetchily. Jordan sighed as he removed his tie ands slipped off his shoes.

"No actually I didn't" he replied indignantly "He's grounded. Indefinitely."

Angela's angry posture relaxed as she uncrossed her arms and looked at him a little awkwardly.

"Oh…good" she said more amiably. She didn't say anything for a while, instead watched with mild interest as Jordan stripped down to his boxers and tee-shirt. She contemplated suggesting some kind of make up sex to atone for her less than good humour that night, but she wasn't really in the mood. Plus she'd put on the least sexy sleep wear she owned, her old ratty college shirt and track pants were far from seductive. Tonight she just wanted to sleep.

As Jordan returned from brushing his teeth she frowned seriously.

"What are we going to do about Jason?" she said quietly. Getting in beside her in the bed, Jordan looked back at her thoughtfully.

"Nothing." he said bluntly "He is a teenage boy and he's going to do it anyway. All we can do is make sure he's being safe, which he is."

Angela's eye grew sad, as if she'd lost something she never wanted to say goodbye to.

"But he is only fifteen Jordan, he's still only a kid" she said unhappily.

"And you were only sixteen" Jordan said pointedly, looking at her deep in the eyes.

"That was different" she replied quietly "I was in love with you".

"And he is with Beth. Look, at least he was at home and deflowering that poor girl in a nice ,comfortable environment, in an actual bed" Jordan said with humour.

"Yeah…..and not trying to do it in some dank abandoned house." Angela smirked and Jordan grinned wickedly.

"Still would have been a better experience than my actual first time" Jordan muttered sardonically.

"Let me guess. In the boiler room with Cynthia after the Halloween dance your first Sophomore year." she said mockingly

"Actually worse than that, behind the dumpsters outside Pizza Hut to Bonita Cawley, Freshman year." Jordan laughed lightly in shame. Angela's mouth fell open in surprise.

"Oh my god, you lost your virginity to Creepy Crawly Cawley, the girl who gave crabs to the entire soccer team. Ewww… Jordan that's gross."

"This was before she got crabs I swear" Jordan groaned defensively his face flaming red " Besides I guess it proves my point that guys don't really care about where they loose it, they just want to do it. What Jason did tonight, that was all for Beth. Why?" Jordan asked rhetorically.

"Because he cares about her." Angela sighed in defeat .

"I suppose I'll have to get used to the idea my little boy isn't so little anymore" she said despondently.

Jordan gave her an compassion smile as he squeezed her hand.

"Give it time, you'll be okay" he said sweetly. Angela returned his smile gently before leaning her head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and they both relaxed against each other.

They lay beside one another in the silence for a while, the quiet of the night calming all the negative energies of the previous few hours. Jordan thought about how close he'd gotten to finally coming clean. It was getting to the point of being farcical he hadn't told her, tonight had been the closest yet something always seemed to get in the way. At this point it was snowballing into this uncontrollable force that he either needed to face head on, or get the hell out of the way. He was going away again next week to finish off the last part the tour, maybe it was better if he waited till after , then when he came back he'd have months to try fix. But then again, there was no time like the present.

"Angela I have to tell you something" Jordan said soberly, stiffening a little as he steadied himself to say the words that could destroy his life. Angela did not stir beside him, in fact it was at this point he noticed her steady shallow breathing. She was fast asleep against his shoulder.

"Brilliant" he muttered in frustration, knowing he'd never be able to raise his courage enough to actual come this close again. It seemed fate had other plans for him. Sighing in defeat, he closed his eyes and resolved himself to try again tomorrow.

* * *

A couple of nights later Rayanne Graff waddled uncomfortably down the stairs of her apartment, the weight of her growing abdomen making her movements increasingly heavy. Bump, it seemed, now taking a break from playing football with her bladder, now wanted her to eat a family pack of Oreo's. At 4a.m in the morning.

"Listen to me Bump, this is seriously starting to annoy me. Stop making me alternate between wanting to pee and wanting to eat cookies all the time. But then again I am at least thankful you've stopped craving pickles " she said hoarsely as she rubbed her belly with a smile.

The kitchen was cold and dark as she padded across the wooden floor to the pantry. Grabbing the first box she could find, she ripped it open and proceeded to devour three treats in quick succession. Now no longer feeling like sleeping, she plopped herself down on the couch and turned on the TV. Munching her way through half the packet in no time, Rayanne sighed contentedly as she watched a comedy re-run.

As she shifted on the couch, she felt something cold and metal pressing into her back.

"What the…."she moaned as she retrieved Brian's cell phone from behind her. It was strange her boyfriend had left his phone behind, usually it would be glued to his side in case work called.

As she looked at it she saw three missed calls from an unknown number. Curiosity got the better of her as she scrolled through Brian's missed calls from the previous week, most being received from the same unnamed number. Something was obviously going on. Rayanne didn't like it one bit that someone was harassing Brian and being her usually impetuous self, she pressed the call button.

The number though rang out to voice mail.

"_This is Vince Malgarotto. Leave your name and number and maybe I'll get back to you."_ the voice on the tape droned. Rayanne didn't say anything as the beep sounded down the line. Frowning deeply as she hung up the phone, she wondered who the hell Vince Malgarotto was and why the hell he wanted to get a hold of Brian so badly?

Deciding to dig a little deeper, she took a peek at Brian voice message inbox. Sure enough there were one or two from Vince. Feeling a little intrusive, she reluctantly opened one of them and listened.

"_Krakow, I've tried calling you a hundred times. I know you helped block my publication, why can't you own up to it like a man. You know I can't do jack shit about the Catalano scandal so at least show me the decency to admit you know he did what I think he did. I know he bribed them so please ,don't cut off my balls and my head too. I know I'm right"_

Rayanne was even more confused as the message ended.

What the fuck was going on?

_**-Spoiler alert: next chapter the SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN! Who doesn't love drama at weddings ;-)**_

_**Any comments or advice, please do message me. **_

_**Adios!**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**Hello all **__**J Happy New Year. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a very long time but life was insanely busy. The next chapter should be up quicker next time as I've unfortunately just lost my job! So yeah, more time for writing…..anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I loved writing parts of it. Thanks to all who reviewed, favourited or subscribed, It is always awesome to feel appreciated. Please do so again if you feel so inclined.**_

_**Thanks and Kind regards.**_

_**RedCatCatalano.**_

The café was warm and inviting as Rayanne Graff crossed the threshold and found a table near the back. The large open windows of the establishment provided a clear view out onto the street as people bustled by on their way home from work. The driving, freezing rain was forcing many off the streets and quickly indoors. The final days of Winter hit the city with last of its power as the Season slowly turned toward Spring. Despite the awful weather outside, the café was virtually empty. Sitting at the table distractedly, Rayanne ordered a decaf coffee and apple danish, conscious she had very little time to spare till she was due to leave for Seneca Falls to join the others. She estimated she had about an hour before Brain would become suspicious. Rayanne had told him she had to meet her Obstetrician about birthing plans and she wanted to go alone. Brian had put up a minor fight but had grudgingly relented when she'd pointed out how incredibly squeamish he was.

Rayanne glanced at her watch as the time slowly ticked by, Dooley was late. She'd gotten the number of the private investigator from Shane a couple of weeks before after Brian had refused to answer questions about Vince Malgarroto. Brian had sworn to her that the journalist simply had a grudge against Catalano because of an article he'd sued the newspaper over and Vince was simply casting aspersions. Yet Malgarroto's last phrase kept going round and round in her head _"I know I'm right". _There was a sense of complete conviction in his tone that Rayanne had found impossible to ignore. Whoever the guy was accusing Catalano of bribing, he really believed it had happened. It had been absence of doubt in his voice that had chilled her, convinced her that this wasn't a vendetta. And she had to find out for herself it was true. Of course, by the time she'd managed to get a hold of Vince again, Krakow had obviously gotten there first. Rayanne wasn't sure if had been money or fear that had shut him up, but the writer refused to comment on the accusations he'd thrown around. But he had given her one small clue, maybe simply to fuck with Brian. One word was all he said. Southampton.

So here she was, investigating one of her oldest friends, praying what she now suspected had happened, was merely a misunderstanding. Because if it wasn't, she was going straight to Angela.

Staring at her watch again, Rayanne's patience was beginning to wear thin.

"Where the hell are you?" she whispered angrily to herself, time slowly ticking by. All he had to do was arrive and drop off the package, nothing else. What was holding him?

Her phone buzzed suddenly on the metal top of the table, Jack's number flashing on the display. Frowning in puzzlement she picked it up and answer.

"S'up dude? What's happening?" she said cheerfully

"Nothing much, just picking up some last minute things downtown before tonight's bachelor party. You?" he answered sweetly.

"Ehhhhh…." she began slightly awkwardly "just baby stuff at the OB".

Jack laughed softly.

"Really? Because I could swear you are in the Empire Café in Soho. I'm right outside and a very pretty pregnant blonde is seated inside by the window all by herself "

Rayanne visibly gulped as momentary panic washed over. She turned and looked out the window and sure enough there stood Jack underneath a large black umbrella, a huge grin on his face.

"Caught you, you naughty girl." he laughed before hanging up and walking towards the door. Scrambling in her seat, she threw the envelope of money for Dooley deep into her handbag as fast as she could. Rayanne dialled Dooley's number at the same time , her fingers fumbling in haste as she typed . Huffing in only reaching only his voice mail, she hissed down the phone line in growing frustration.

"Dooley whatever you do, do not come to the meet up point capiche ! Due to your fucking lateness the situation has changed. Come to the Forest Royal by tomorrow night with the damn memory card or I'm cutting your pay in half. Got it."

Her demeanour immediately changed as Jack approached with a smile, the anger and anxiety she'd felt moments before carefully hidden behind an easy going grin. There was no point in dwelling on what couldn't be changed and blowing her cover in the process.

"Good afternoon buddy, what are you doing around here? Shouldn't you be on your way upstate?" she said amiably as he sat opposite her.

"Would you believe, on the day before my wedding, when I should be out enjoying my last few hours of freedom, my 90 year old Grandmother demanded I go get her a croissant from a real bakery, the ones in the hotel are apparently inedible!" he laughed as he held up a small paper bag.

"You French are way too picky about your food" Rayanne laughed with genuine amusement.

"No kidding, my family's particularly pedantic. But she was right, those croissants were awful," he laughed "But enough about me, what are you doing here instead of the OB?".

Rayanne paled a little, wracking her brain for any excuse that would make sense.

"I just felt like having a moment to myself before heading off into the madness that is being best 'Man' to Rickie, your future husband is as tad neurotic." she smiled sardonically. Jack chuckled and nodded in mocking acknowledgement.

"He has been a little irrational lately….."

"Don't worry Monsieur Roux, we're going to get him ridiculously drunk tonight. That should loosen him up a little!" she smirked ruefully.

Jack let a loud blast of laughter.

"Just have him back in one piece, I'd rather like to enjoy my wedding night!" he exclaimed unashamedly. Rayanne grinned wickedly in response but said nothing. She was just about to ask Jack about party games to play ,when he cell phone began to ring. Her heart leapt a little as she saw a familiar number on the screen.

"Sorry Jack, locks like Brian has finally gotten suspicious. I 'd better go." she said gravely, rising to her feet. Jack pouted in disappointment .

"Okay, get out of here then loser." he said affectionately as stood to give her a hug goodbye.

"And take care of my baby tonight" he added sweetly.

"Duly noted buddy. See you later " she smiled gently as step away from him and left the café. Her smile faded as she retrieved her phone from her purse.

Pressing the contacts option she redialled her missed call, a frown filling her features.

"Hello, this is Connor" the thick Bostonian accent answered.

"You better have a damn good reason why you weren't here on time Dooley" Rayanne growled.

"I hit major traffic on the interstate" Dooley retorted indignantly "It wasn't intentional". Marching briskly up the street, Rayanne suppressed the urge to yell at him in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Regardless ,I still don't have my damn information." she snapped back.

"Look, I can get it to you in person by 6pm tomorrow. I know it's not ideal but it's the best I can do." he said more evenly. Rayanne sighed in exasperation, right in the middle of Rivkie's wedding reception was far from ideal.

"Fine, I'll met you in the foyer . Your info better be damn good" she said coldly.

"It is" Dooley relied simply. With that he hung up and Rayanne's frustrations grew. How was she going to maintain her composure for Rickie's sake tomorrow if her suspicions were proven right? The next day was going to be one she remembered, for good or for bad.

* * *

The early morning light seemed painfully bright to her eyes as Angela Chase woke in a hotel room bed. Her mouth was dry and sore, as the unmistakable taste of stale booze and vomit stuck to her tongue. She became aware the other side of the bed was cold and empty as she finally opened her eyes fully. It took Angela's mind a moment to realise that she was lying directly on top of the covers instead of underneath, her limbs feeling suddenly cold. It was then she also realised she was still fully clothed in the outfit she had gone out in the night before, the tell tale sticky residue of long dried vomit on her chest. Coupled with this ,it was then to her utter horror she became aware that the bed she was lying on was not in _her _hotel room, in fact, she had no idea _whose_ room it was in.

"Crap" she muttered unhappily as she rose her head off the pillow ,her temples throbbed in protest as the hangover took hold. She hissed from the pain of it, but blinking rapidly she scanned the room with her eyes in a vain attempt to gain her bearings. The room seemed to spin as tried to focus on her surroundings, the whole plush landscape seeming alien to her warped vision.

"Morning drunky, how are you this fine day?" Rickie's warm voice cooed as his eyes caught hers. He was sitting across the room at a table eating some scrambled eggs as he smiled at her bemusedly. Angela instantly relaxed as relief washed over her, thankful she'd ended up with a friend.

"Awful! What happened last night? I don't even remember coming back here" Angela whispered groggily, sitting up in the bed slowly. She pinched the bridge of her nose as her nerves send waves of pain washing through her temples again.

"Well I certainly do. You threw open the door , barfed in my trash can before vaulting onto the bed and passing out." Rickie snorted a little.

"Oh my god sweetie I'm so sorry." Angela groaned as she hid her face in her hands " I'll pay for whatever damage I've done…."

"Don't be silly. It's only the trash can." Rickie laughed amiably.

Angela looked out between the cracks in her fingers with uncertainty.

"So I didn't projectile vomit anywhere else?" She asked sheepishly.

Rickie chuckled lightly and his eyes shined warmly.

"No" he said gently.

Angela exhaled loudly as a small smile grew across her face. Dropping her hands back down to the mattress, she gave Rickie an apologetic smile.

"Guess I wasn't exactly well behaved last night then?" .

Rickie shrugged nonchalantly as he brought his steaming cup of coffee up to his mouth.

"Compared to Rayanne ,who was stone-cold sober and let's not forget, pregnant, you were normal." he said with a smirk "Do you remember what she did in the restaurant?"

Angela frown a little as tried hard to retrieve her memories from the night before. She laughed suddenly as she remembered.

"She gave the maitra'd a lap dance before we went to the club."

"Bingo" Rickie beamed.

"So I didn't embarrass you or myself seriously last night" she asked sceptically. Rickie shook his head vigorously with a grin.

"You didn't even try drunk dial anyone." Angela made a overdramatically pleased expression before a cheeky grin spread over face.

Finally rising from the crumpled sheets of the bed, she shuffled over to the small table where Rickie was eating.

"So why'd I end up here and not my room anyway" she said with curiosity.

"You said it would be too weird sleeping alone in a bed that didn't smell like Jordan or his fabric softener. It's oddly sweet actually." Rickie said without a hint of teasing in his voice. Angela shrugged awkwardly as she reached across and stole a slice of crisp bacon from Rickie's plate. Nibbling on it carefully ,she was grateful when her stomach didn't protest to the small morsel of salty food.

"I will admit though, I would have rathered spending my last night of being single in a bed and not on a chaise lounge, but someone slept spread eagle on the mattress"

Angela's cheeks flashed pink as she smiled shamefully.

"Sorry sweetie, I tend to sleep like a starfish when I'm drunk".

"At least you were mildly entertaining in your state of comatose." Rickie teased. Angela's eye narrowed in bewilderment.

"What do you mean?".

Rickie shrugged again before chuckling a little.

"You make weird noises in your sleep, that's all"

"What! No I don't" she laughed, giving him a gentle shove.

"How do you know?" he retorted

"Because I'm sure Jordan would have said something by now!" Angela snapped back jokily.

"Honey, either he's the heaviest sleeper ever or more likely , he's afraid to upset the balance of regular sex he gets by enduring those frankly strange grunts you make." Rickie smirked. Angela shot him a withering look.

"Whatever loser" she muttered defeatedly.

They sat in silence for a couple of moments as Angela chewed on another strip of bacon and Rickie finished up his eggs. He sighed contentedly as the thought struck him that he would be a married man in less than three hours.

"Did you have a good final night of freedom?" Angela said sweetly as she noticed the faraway look in his eyes. Rickie reached across the table and squeezed her hand .

"I couldn't have asked for a better send off." he said happily. Angela smiled in return and squeezed his hand back gently.

"You ready for this afternoon?" she said carefully. Rickie nodded resolutely.

"Without a single doubt yes" he said confidently.

"Good" Angela beamed.

The tender moment was abruptly interrupted by the sound of the telephone ringing on the bedside table. Angela winced visibly as the shrill tone grated on her sensitive ears, sending a throb of pain through her head.

"I'd better get that" Rickie said simply, rising to his feet.

"Room 567, Mr Vasquez speaking. Oh….Hi Ray…." he mumbled into the receiver, a small grin beginning to form on his mouth.. Angela used the disruption and Rickie's distraction to use the bathroom, simply to even vaguely improve her ragged appearance before she went back to her own room. Just because she had to the walk of shame, didn't mean she had to do it looking like she'd rolled through vomit. Plus, she wanted to at least look slightly normal before seeing Jordan after three weeks of separation. His rescheduled concerts for the tour were finally over ,so he was all hers again for the next 3 months. She couldn't wait.

Angela had barely been gone thirty seconds when Rickie heard a slight yelp coming from the bathroom.

"What the fuck!"

Rushing back out in to the bedroom, Angela marched back to Rickie, her dress haphazardly tucked into the waist band of her underwear and her pantyhose in her hand.

" Rickie, why do I have bruises all over my leg from my hip to my knee?" she exclaimed, pointing at her legs.

"Not to mention, leaves in my hair!" she added irately.

Rickie's grin broadened as he tried not laugh

"Oh that, you fell out of a tree on the way home" he replied casually.

"I fell out of a tree! I thought you said I didn't embarrass myself!" she groaned as her hands found her face for a second.

"Okay, you did a little. But no one really saw " he said soothingly, trying his best to downplay the incident.

"Why did I even climb the tree?" she moaned like a child, pouting visibly in embarrassment.

"You saw a poster of Jordan on a billboard and wanted to climb up and kiss it" Rickie grinned as Angela's cheeks reddened.

"And?" she asked grumpily.

"You fell out halfway up , whilst screaming 'Take me now Jordan Catalano"

Rickie laughed

"Oh God Rickie…That is beyond embarrassing." she groaned again.

"Please at least tell me Rayanne didn't take pictures".

Rickie looked at her a uncomfortably and said nothing.

"Oh no, she did, didn't she" she said in horror.

"Only a couple" Rickie said meekly.

"Perfect…" Angela groaned.

Just then, as if on cue, Rayanne walked through the door. She looked between them bemusedly, particularly amused by the state her best friend was in.

"You'd better be careful who you let see you like that, you do the walk of shame out of the grooms bedroom, people are going to start suspecting you've turned him. Thank God it was me that caught you before the worst could occur" she said mockingly.

"You're hilarious" Angela retorted caustically "What are you even doing here this early, the wedding isn't for another six hours."

Rayanne looked at her strangely.

"Angela, it's eleven o'clock, I'm in fact a tad late for my best man duties".

Angela gasped, rushing to the door in a panic.

"Crap, that means Jordan's probably arrived already, and I look like shit. Fuck! Maybe I can make it to the room before him. I'm sorry guys, I'll see you a little later when I look normal again." she said rapidly, pulling her shoes and purse into her arms and ripping the door open.

"See you soon !" she called back at them as she ran down the hall.

"Does she realise her dress is stuck in the back of panties." Rickie chuckled with glee as he watched her race away.

"Probably not" Rayanne smirked .

* * *

As Angela burst through the room of her hotel room, her arms filled with her shoes , pantyhose and purse,, she groaned internally as she saw Jordan sitting straight in front of her. She was however, quietly thankful she had at least managed to brush her teeth in Rickie's room, vomit breath was not exactly an attractive welcome home gift. Jordan's face was set in a deep frown as he looked out the window, his Blackberry held tightly in his hands . Angela felt immediately guilty as she realised he was probably worrying about where she was or why she hadn't called.

"Hi" she said awkwardly, startling him in the process. His eyes widened in surprise he saw her standing there, staring at the floor sheepishly

"Sorry, for not calling…..I was passed out in Rickie's room" she mumbled, pulling at the hem of her dress self consciously. She glanced over to him fleetingly and was happy to see his dark expression had changed into a look of amusement. From her downcast eyes Angela could see him biting his lip as he obviously tried to hold back his laughter.

"I guess I had a little too much to drink last night. Throwing up in a trash can is kind of a strong enough indication" she said with a half smile as she looked at Jordan properly for the first time. Jordan's glee finally shone through as his face broke out into a beaming smile.

"Yeah so…don't let me near the champagne today" she said sardonically.

Jordan shook his head as he smiled at her misfortune.

He still remained silent as he rose to his feet and walked over to her, a wry smile still on his face.

"I'm just glad to see you…..regardless of what state you arrive home in" he said mockingly, holding her face between his hands he gave her mouth and forehead a quick kiss . Angela rolled her eyes at him as she grinned in spite of her embarrassment, relieved by familiar feeling of his rough thumbs tracing the line of her cheekbones.

"Yeah, yeah whatever , as if you haven't had a rough night ever" she replied cockily. Jordan smirked again as he arch an eyebrow.

"I sure a hell didn't run through the hotel hallways with my pants on display" he laughed as he pulled at the back of her dress. Angela's face went bright red as she realised what he was doing. She had tucked her dress into her underwear.

"Oh God, I went down in an elevator with tons of people like this" she groaned as she covered her face in shame .

"I'm sure they were distracted by the fact you have like six leaves in your hair" Jordan laughed as he gently picked one out and showed her.

"There's a twig in there somewhere too" she sighed "And my legs look like hell".

"What did you do last night? Mosh into a shrub?" Jordan laughed.

"Fell out of a tree." she replied simply.

"What? How?" Jordan chuckled. Angela face reddened again.

"I was trying to….I was just…..look it's not important" she said huffily , avoiding his eyes for a second in embarrassment

Jordan snorted with laughter again before tipping her face up to his, leaning down to capture her mouth with a lingering kiss.

"You really are a liability, and I love you for it" he said mockingly. Angela simply gave him a half smile of concession. Throwing her shoes and everything else out of her arms, she took him by surprise as she leaped forward, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him with enthusiasm.

"I missed you" she said sweetly, resting her forehead against his with a pout "And I really wish we had more time for me to show you how much considering it is Valentine's Day, but…we have to be ready to leave with Rickie in little over an hour and I'm in urgent need of a shower" . Jordan pouted too a little in disappointment, but as an idea struck him a wicked glint slowly entered his eyes.

"Not necessarily." he said huskily, stepping away from her slightly.

Taking her by the hands he started to walk backwards in the direction of the bathroom, taking Angela with him. She looked at him for a second in confusion, his intentions not becoming clear until he broke the contact of their hands to take off his tee shirt and jeans.

She grinned at him temptingly as she unzipped the back of her dress, letting it fall to ground to Jordan's great satisfaction.

"I'm going to need some help getting all these leaves out my hair, care to lend me a hand in the shower?" she said archly, removing the last few items of clothing as she stepped inside . Jordan gave her a predatory look, glancing at her up and down with a smile as she turned on the water . Removing his briefs, he stepped in after her as the steam started to rise around the room.

"I'm happy to lend you a hand or anything else you want" he whispered gutturally, stepping in close to her under the warm water. Angela smiled at him seductively as she traced circles on his bare chest.

"I wouldn't expect anything less" she replied flirtatiously. Jordan grabbed her hand and pushed her a little roughly against the steaming glass., making her breath hitch a little when his face stopped millimetres from hers.

"You know me, I'm always willing to help, in anyway." he whispered roguishly, his lips brushing hers as he teased her into submission. He stood there for a second, extending the tension as he made no move to close the gap between them. Angela pouted in frustration, not liking his game one bit.

"Damn it Jordan, just kiss me already " she whined insistently. Jordan grinned again.

"As you wish" he said teasingly, dropping down the final few micro-inches. Angela purred with satisfaction as he kissed her deeply, her passions quickly igniting inside and all thoughts of her previous mistakes from the night before drifted away with the rising steam. It wasn't longer before her hands began to drift southward beyond the safe confines of his chest and shoulders and Jordan started to groan insistently against her mouth. Angela could maybe count a further twenty seconds after that ,before she found herself straddling him under the rushing torrent of the shower head. And it was maybe a further minute later, before they were both panting frantically in the small space as Jordan thrust into her, a rush of need and love filling them both. The ecstasy and exhilaration making the blood pound loudly in their ears as their hearts beats drummed as one. Sometimes life was sweet, and no time more than this was sweeter.

* * *

"Good afternoon friends" Angela said brightly, as she waltzed into the foyer of the hotel with a spring in her step. Rayanne looked over the rim of her sunglasses suspiciously at Rickie ,who smiled back at her knowingly.

"Well someone's in a better mood." Rayanne said nonchalantly "Not too mention glowing with a certain vitality in that lovely red dress. I guess Jordan's welcome was more than hospitable?"

Angela gave her a guarded smile, despite knowing full well her best friend would see right through it.

"Yes Jordan was very welcoming" she replied coyly.

"Oh I'm sure he was" Rayanne smirked as she gave her friend a wink.

Angela rolled her eyes at her and turned attention to her other best friend, hoping Rayanne wouldn't ask her the most obvious question of just how_ welcoming_ herself and Jordan had been to one another. To her relief Rayanne let the issue drop, they had way more important things to talk about then her rampant sex life.

"Okay Rickie, the Rolls is on it's way, I called the marquee guy and everything is set up by the lake. Your aunt Andrea is being kept away from the wine until after the ceremony and I confirmed with the caterer that dinner is starting here at to mention, both your bridesmaids look smoking in their valentine dresses" Rayanne said quickly with a slight smile. Rickie nodded faintly in acknowledgment, his face paling a little with nervousness. Rayanne glanced at Angela and made a gesture with her hands as if to prompt her to speak.

"I have the rings in my purse, the PA system has been set up and is ready to go whenever you need it. The minister officiating the ceremony is down at the lake, as is most of the guests and most importantly, Jack."

Some colour returned Rickie's cheeks as he heard the last part, obviously relieved he wasn't in danger of being stood up at the altar.

"So the most important thing is, are you ready to go?" Angela asked quietly, looking at him steadily.

Rickie took a deep breath and shook his head again, this time more forcefully.

"No." he said meekly, looking between them in terror

"In fact I'm freaking out a little". Angela looked at him sympathetically, reaching out to rub his arm soothingly.

"Rickie you're marrying the guy of your dreams in front of everyone you care about ,you look absolutely fantastic to boot. You have nothing to freak out about honey, "

Rickie took another ragged deep breath as he began to tremble in terror.

"I do no look fantastic. Something just does feel right, it's like I can't breath with this damn bowtie on me" he said shakily as he pulled the offending item off him and sat down in a nearby chair, his head in his hands. Rayanne looked at Angela anxiously, unsure of what to do . Everyone one else had left for the ceremony. Angela sat to Rickie's left as Rayanne sat the other side, rubbing his back in a vain attempt to calm him.

"It's going to be fine Vasquez, just breath okay?" Rayanne said relaxingly, as she pressed a kiss to his temple.

"I know it's weird to freak out about a stupid bowtie, but…I want to look perfect for him." Rickie whispered unhappily.

"I can go up to your room and get you another tie if you have any others?" Angela said brightly, hoping this would be enough to placate his worries.

"Don't bother, I didn't bring any." Rickie said bleakly, staring straight ahead.

"Maybe I could grab one of Brian's and…" Rayanne began, before exhaling in frustration "But he left with the room key. Crap….".

"Hey guys is everything okay?" Jordan said with clear concern as he came upon the scene.

"Just some pre-wedding jitters." Angela replied with a watery smile, giving Rickie's back another calming rub.

"It's not jitters, my bowtie is hideous and I can't get married looking like a clown." Rickie said desperately, clearly on the edge of tears.

Jordan looked down at his friends broodingly, his brow burrowed in thought as he tried to come up with a solution. He smiled a little to himself as the answer became clear to him and started to walk over to Rickie, pulling apart the knot of his tie as he went. Kneeling in front of him, he draped the dark red silk tie over his friends neck. Rickie looked at him strangely as Jordan began to tie it on him.

"You know I heard in China ,wearing red on your wedding day is considered good luck." he said simply, giving Rickie a friendly smile. He gave his friends shoulder an affectionate smack before stood up again. Rickie seemed to take in his words as he nodded in gratitude. He looked across the room at the mirror that stood near the main doorway , scrutinizing his appearance in the reflection. Rickie then looked down at the tie for a second, his breathing steadying as he tucked the end of it under his suit jacket. Angela and Rayanne's eyes widened in slight surprise as he rose from the seat again, his head confidently held high as he smooth his suit with his hand.

"I'm ready to go now." he said blankly.

"Okay" Rayanne said in baffled joy "Let's go get you married Rickie."

Angela smirked slightly as linked arms with Jordan ,while Rayanne took Rickie's as they walked to the car outside.

"That was a good thing you did there" she whispered happily in his ear.

Jordan smiled back at her warmly.

"It was only a tie Angie, and it looks better on him anyway" he replied sweetly. Angela simply beamed at him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek as they reached the Rolls.

"You can be a real sweetie sometimes Catalano" she whispered again.

"Don't tell anyone, it'll ruin my reputation" he said with a grin. She shook her head tiredly as she got into the back of the car with Rickie, quietly self-satisfied that Jordan had saved the day for once.

* * *

As Rickie took his place beside Jack, a sense of contained joy and peace fell upon all the onlookers in the candlelit marquee. Behind the minister was the unending views of the tranquil lake, still semi-frozen in places from the harsh winter, where the only sound that could be heard outside the mellow music of the string quartet, was the gentle lapping of the water on the lake shore. Inside the marquee the temperature was surprisingly warm despite the cool temperatures outside. The wedding venue had been carefully decorated with interspersed reds and pinks to reflect the date, without the gaudy cliché of hearts and cherubs.

Angela had been awestruck by its simple beauty when she'd stood beside Rickie on the altar, the deep red's and muted pinks giving the all but ordinary venue a rustic sense of class. Perfectly exemplifying Jack and Rickie's relationship, beautiful but real.

As the ceremony reached the halfway point, Angela took them opportunity to have a look at the congregation. There wasn't a single dark or sullen face amongst them, all she could see was smiles and tears of happiness. She caught sight of her mother amongst the masses, her tear stained cheeks warming Angela's heart. Whilst Jason's beaming smile made her feel even happier, she didn't think things could get any better. It was in her absentminded musings Angela began to take notice of the difference between the families of the two grooms. While Jack's immediate and extended family filled half the rows of the left hand-side of the tent, there was only a handful of Vasquez's in attendance, the rest of Rickie's well wishers being friends. From what limited information Angela Chase knew about Rickie's family, she was very much aware that many had refused to acknowledge the joyous event due to their strict catholic faith. Despite Rickie's best efforts and relentless determination, most of his family wanted nothing to do with him because of who he chose to love. It was the reason he had found himself at the wrong end of his uncles and cousins fists as a teenager, being gay was never an option or something to be accepted to his kin. Angela had at the time been very conscious of what was happening to her kindest friend, but was powerless to stop it. Now nearly seventeen years later in the face of his families obvious intolerance to his natural orientation, all she could do was treat him like the brother she never had. Because that was what he was to her. Family.

Maybe it was her gaze falling on Jordan's serene smile, or her wandering thoughts about Rickie, but it suddenly struck her how eerily similar the backgrounds of two of the most important men in her life really were. Much like Rickie, Jordan's family were mostly absent from his life due to the physical abuse he'd endured. Both had been saddled with the horrific fortune of having negligent and missing parents from an early age and both had fended for themselves well before Angela had even learned to tie her shoe laces. Maybe that was the reason the two of them had always gotten along so well despite being vastly different people, or why Jordan had always tried to help Rickie in spite of his friends ridicule in high school. Because he somehow understood and empathised with what Rickie was going through. He knew what it was like when no one wanted you because you were different . Angela was certain if she and Jordan got married the situation would be exactly the same as Rickie's, with a few too many empty rows of seats and absent faces .

Angela suddenly caught herself in the midst of her ponderings, the suddenly realisation of what she'd been considering startling her a little. Marry Jordan Catalano? Was it a plausible idea? I mean sure she'd written it all over her school books in High school, the embarrassment of her father finding her history book with the words 'Mrs Angela Catalano' written 50 times in various fonts still made her blush. Yet that had been idle teenage obsession and definitely not a clear indication of future predilections. Plus she wasn't even sure she believed in the whole institution of marriage, her own parents showing her that even the strongest relationships could fall apart. Yet as Jordan gave her an affectionate half smile, his eyes full of unguarded adoration, she was sure she could get passed her cynicism for him. He always had been the only exception to every rule she'd ever made about her love life. Jordan had been just as feckless in life and romance as she had been, but she was in no doubt now of his commitment and fidelity. No one loved her more or made her happier. Angela smiled back at him charmingly from the altar as she thought about what it would be like to marry him, to be Mrs Angela Catalano. the name alone had a very nice ring to it. She could see it now, they'd get married in a small chapel by the ocean in front of a small group of friends of family. Jordan would be in that charcoal grey suit she loved so much, his eyes so endlessly blue as he'd smile self-consciously at her. She'd be in her favourite cream dress, holding a bunch of lillies as she'd try to calm her shaking hands. Jason would the best man, while Rayanne would be her maid of honour and everything would be simple and serene. And in the years that followed they'd settle down outside the city, maybe near that big house she'd rented in the Hampton's , make a couple more beautiful kids like Jason and then they'd live out the rest of their lives together. Blissfully happy in their own little piece of the world.

Angela's vivid daydreaming and absorbed lingering smiles at Jordan were suddenly rudely interrupted by a dig in the ribs from Rayanne. It was at this second Angela realised that everyone in the room was now staring at her, including Rickie who smiled at her conspiratorially. Totally aware that she hadn't been paying the slightest attention to what was going on.

Angela face went a raspberry colour as she gulped visibly, completely flustered and unaware as to what faux pau she had committed.

"The rings Angela, give the minister the rings" Rayanne muttered under her breath. Upon hearing this, Angela sprung into action , sticking her hand into her purse to retrieved them. She laughed nervously as she presented them to the crowd.

"Here they are" she said cheerily and few people chuckled in response. Out of the corner of her eye, Angela could she her mother shaking her head as she covered her face with her hand, utterly embarrassed.

Handing them to the Reverend, Angela continued to blush, now actively avoiding looking at Jordan, already knowing he was probably laughing his ass off with Brian.

"Finished staring longingly at Jordan now?" Rayanne mumbled with a smirk.

"I was just thinking about something" Angela growled back.

"Like what, planning your wedding to Catalano?" Rayanne teased.

"NO! Now ssshhh! We're missing the most important part' Angela hissed, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

"…both the grooms have prepared their own special vows for today's ceremony" the minister said cheerily " I would now like you all to turn your attentions to Mr Enrique Vasquez."

Rickie smiled nervously at the minister as he breathed in deeply. He shifted from foot to foot uneasily as he steadied himself to speak. Breathing in deeply again, he held onto Jack's hand a little tighter and look deeply into his soon to be husband's hazel eyes. His voice shook audibly as he finally opened his heart to the audience.

" Jack when I first met you, on that cloudy September evening, I knew my life would never be the same.. The minute you walked through those double doors in Angel Bistro and I saw you, it was as if everything I'd ever searched for on this planet was standing straight in front of me. And by some miracle on that faithful day that changed everything, your first reaction to catching me staring , was to smile. And when you did, my heart never beat so hard in my chest, and since that day it has never stopped pounding. Because you are the reason my world makes sense. And I love you more than my words can ever express, but maybe the words of another will possibly come close"

Rickie broke the contact of their hands as he reached into his suit jacket pocket and retrieved a piece of paper from the inside pocket. He gave Angela a wink as he unfolded it, silently thanking her for helping him choose it. Smiling now with confidence, his voice was strong as he read the poem with conviction.

"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in

my heart.

I am never without it, anywhere I go you go,

my dear;

And whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling

I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet

I want no world, for beautiful you are my world,

my true"

Angela could feels Jordan's eyes on her as they all listened to Rickie's sweet and honest voice. She smiled to herself as she turned to look at him fully, and found it difficult to take her eyes off him as the poem continued. Art in this instance imitated life, for within Jordan's heart, he carried hers too. As she carried his in tender worship.

Rickie's eyes began to mist a little as he voice shook again, the reality of occasion hitting him full force. He was marrying the man he loved most in this world.

"And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows

Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud,

And the sky of the sky of a tree called life,

Which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart".

As the poem finished, Angela and Jordan didn't take their eyes off one another, locked in some intense unconscious and unspoken promise. One day it would be them standing on an altar. There was no doubt.

* * *

Several hours later, after the couple had kissed ,guests had thrown confetti and everyone had eaten there fill of the wonderful food Jack's friends had helped prepare, everyone at the reception was in high spirits. The speeches had gone well, with Rayanne's best man toast making Angela laugh so hard she'd choked on her champagne . Rickie had blushed the whole way through the speech, the embarrassment though did nothing to detract from the obvious joy he felt that day. He and Jack hadn't stopped stealing sly looks at one another, small smiles tugging at their mouth when one caught the other staring. Angela had found the whole thing endearing, particularly as she'd caught Jordan doing exactly the same from his seat with Patty and Jason. Angela had winked at him a few times in response from her place beside Rickie, the sordid images of what they'd done in the shower earlier flashing through her brain intermittently. It really had been an excellent Valentines day present for both of them, hence she could barely contain the self satisfied smile that would unconsciously grace her lips every time her eyes met Jordan's. She had become so engrossed with him, that she hadn't noticed Rayanne's increasingly introverted mood. Brian on the other hand had observed his girlfriend's darkened humour with slight concern, her usual gregarious nature uncharacteristically absent in spite of the previous frivolities of the day. His first thought had been that she had been overcome with emotion over Rickie's wedding, but then he thought about it again, this was Rayanne he was talking about. If she felt any overwrought feelings she would probably cry in the hotel bathroom later, while complaining about him leaving the toilet seat up or something else equally ridiculous. His second thought had been maybe she was experiencing some reflux or digestive problems due to the baby, but Rayanne was still shovelling in piece after piece of wedding cake with no signs of stopping ,so that theory was quickly dismissed. Brian continued to ponder this great mystery for some time until an idea seemed to strike him, something that had been quietly playing upon is mind for the last month that he had up until now refused to either acknowledge or think about.

Ever since Rayanne had tried to contact Vince Malgarrato ,Brian had been extra vigilant about keeping Rayanne away from anything that might lead her to the ugly truth. Which had of course forced him to making a deal with the odious reporter. Malgarrato had agreed to drop his investigation into Jordan and refused to answer Rayanne's questions should she contact him, and in exchange Brian had stopped an injunction on an article he'd written on another client. His plan had invariably worked despite his moral qualms and while he had been initially relieved when she'd dropped her research, he was never fully convinced she had let the issue go. A suspicion he found had been justified yesterday when he'd discovered Rayanne had lied about her appointment. He'd called the obstetrician's office not long after Rayanne had left as she'd forgotten her keys, only to find the doctor's practise was shut that day. So far he hadn't tackled her about the lie, afraid that he'd have to respond to question he just didn't have the answers to. As he looked at Rayanne Graff as she sat distractedly in her chair beside Jack, he knew, this girl was up to something. He just didn't know what.

Rayanne could feel the anxiety begin to rise in her chest as she checked her phone for what seemed like the hundredth time, the digital clock slowly ticking towards 6 o'clock. The reality of what great forces she might be messing with, finally hitting her full force. Everyone else had taken to the dance floor as the festivities continued onwards into the evening. Rayanne had declined to join Rickie on the dance floor, claiming her feet were aching in her shoes. In reality, she was certain she would throw up if she moved from her spot. The nervousness over what she was about to find out was making her stomach do back flips, not to mention Bump was kicking her intestines mercilessly hard today. At the other end of the room, Brian was talking to Patty and Jordan about something funny, his rarely seen full smile flashing every so often as they spoke. Rayanne smirk gently to herself as she watched his easy good-humour, she liked it when he smiled like that. Just to Rayanne's left ,Angela had dragged Jason up to dance with her not long after the music had started and Rayanne couldn't help but laugh as she spied his grumpily awkward grimace. She almost felt sorry for the kid.

Rayanne's heart almost stopped as her phone abruptly began to ring, Dooley's number blinking over again before she reacted. Answering it she took a deep breath.

"Hi, you got what I asked for" she asked evenly.

"Yep, it's all here." Dooley's lacklustre voice drawled.

"Good. I'll meet you in the resident's bar in five minutes" she replied gloomily.

On dance floor Angela was beginning to grow a little bored, the songs starting to meld into one . Her complacency was not helped by the sulky expression on her sons face as he half heartedly swayed from side to side beside her.

"Oh for God sake Jason, just go sit down if you're finding spending time with your mother so hard." she exclaimed huffily. Jason shrugged his shoulders petulantly as he looked down at the floor with a pout.

"This band just sucks Mom" he mumbled. Angela arched an eyebrow at him as she pursed her lips in annoyance.

"Yeah well they're a friend of Rickie's and they are doing it as a favour, so please keep your opinions to yourself when he asks what you thought. "

Jason gave her a half- smile as he caught the guilty look on her face. She thought they sucked as well, but was too polite to say it.

Just then Rickie came up behind them, a large friend grin on his face.

"Hey, aren't these guys the best" he said excitedly, pointing at the stage. Angela nodded in agreement, a tight smile on her lips as Jason tried not to smirk beside her.

"Yep, they're great." she said a little too enthusiastically.

"It's too bad their set is nearly over" Rickie said sadly, as he looked off into the dancing crowd for a second. He frowned visibly as he looked back at Angela .

"You guys haven't seen Rayanne have you, she's supposed to be performing next".

Angela looked over to the table she'd seen Rayanne at earlier to find her chair empty. Looking across the room, she saw she also wasn't with the others at the bar.

"That's weird, she was there a couple of minutes ago. Don't worry Vasquez I'll find her." Angela smiled. Pulling Jason along with her she walked over to the others, a pensive frown on her face.

Jordan smiled as he saw her approach with his son in tow.

"You guys finished busting your moves for the night." he said teasingly, looking between them. Jason shot him a withering look, while Angela rolled her eyes at him.

"No" she said tiredly "I was wondering if any of you knew where Rayanne's gone." Brian's ears pricked up as he heard this, he'd been keeping a close eye on her all evening because of her strange behaviour. His suspicions were raised again as he wondered where she'd gotten to.

"She's probably just gone to the bathroom, being pregnant does make you pee more" Patty said simply, with a slight smile.

"I don't think so" Angela said distractedly, looking around the room with a frown "Regardless of why she's disappeared, we need to find her for Rickie. She's supposed to be singing soon."

Brian cleared his throat as he put his drink down.

"As long as no one objects, I think I'll go find my wayward girlfriend." he said sardonically, starting to move away from his friends.

"I'll help" Jason piped up as he looked at him hopefully "I don't want my Mom to make me dance anymore". Brian hesitated as he looked back at the young man, unsure as to whether it was a good idea.

"Sure" he sighed reluctantly "why not?"

Jason gave him a happy grin as he followed behind. The boy stopped for a second as he looked out the window beside them. Outside the rain was starting to fall heavily as the tree's in the surrounding woods visibly shook in the wind.

"Looks like a storm is brewing" he said simply. Brian almost laughed at the irony of his statement. There was a storm coming, he just didn't know how bad.

* * *

"The memory card has everything I got on him" Dooley said distractedly as he thumbed the money in the envelope.

Rayanne nodded as she pushed the card into the SD slot.

"You know what to do if I give you the signal?".

It was Dooley's turn to nod as he looked at her seriously.

"I got it covered" he said blankly. Rayanne sighed as she opened the first file on the SD card, almost praying it was all a misunderstanding. That Brian hadn't been lying to her and more importantly, Jordan hadn't been lying to Angela after everything she'd gone through. Her face fell as she began to read.

"I told you everything was there" Dooley said quietly.

"Fuck" she whispered in response. This was bad.

Rayanne was sitting beside a dark haired man in the residents bar as Brian approached the room, Jason was not far behind asking one of the porters if they'd seen her. The guy next to Rayanne was no more than twenty five years old and was wearing Boston Bruins hockey jersey and faded jeans, looking greatly out of place in the plush hotel bar.

Whatever conversation they were having was swiftly cut as Rayanne spotted Brian watching her. The younger man turned in his seat and gave Brian a wary scowl as he came closer. Brian studied his face for a second in surprise, the kid looked oddly familiar. He pushed the errant thought out of his head and turned to the task at hand.

"Rickie sent me to get you. The bands nearly finished and you're up next." he said awkwardly . Brian couldn't help but notice the way Rayanne's eyes narrowed as she looked at him, like she was really mad. He just didn't know why?

"Fine" she said tightly "I'm done here anyway."

The man made no attempt to move as she rose to her feet.

"I'm Brian by the way" he said politely, sticking his hand to the stranger.

"I'm Connor." the guy replied, taking Brian's hand for a second before Rayanne grabbed Brian by the arm and pulled him away.

"No time for pleasantries Krakow, we have to go." she said moodily.

"Right….nice to meet you Connor." Brian said shamefully, embarrassed by Rayanne's rudeness.

"See ya" Dooley said nonchalantly as he turned back to his beer.

Rayanne's grip on Brian's arm tightened as she marched back towards the banquet hall, her temper beginning to ignite into a fury.

"Owwww Rayanne, can you stop digging your nails into my arm, you're kind of hurting me" Brian said touchily. Rayanne whipped around, her eyes fiery as she turned to glare at him. Brian gulped visibly, well aware she was about to explode at him. Rayanne didn't know whether to scream at him or strangle him she was so enraged . So completely incensed he had been involved with keeping this under wraps for so long and blatantly lying to her about it.

She was certain now it had been him that had silenced Malgarroto, a deception that didn't sit well with her one bit. She was just about to let it all rip , when a familiar voice interrupted her fury. Rayanne swallowed her fierce words as Jason came up beside her.

"Good you found her" he said with relief "The bands just finished".

Rayanne fixed the boy an easy smile as she linked her arm with him, leaving Brian completely befuddled as he stood behind them.

"Let's go then young Catalano." Rayanne said in a friendly tone, as she shot Brian another angry glare. Whatever that guy Connor had spoken to Rayanne about, he was sure he was now in big trouble. As they came towards the stage, Rayanne turned and handed Brian her purse with out a single word. Brian looked after her in exasperation, my god was this woman difficult. As he looked back down at the purse in his hands, he spied her cell phone through the half-closed zipper. Lifting it out he saw attached to the phone was a micro SD card adapter that he'd never seen before. The wheels began to whirr in his mind as he started to put two and two together, concluding Connor had given her the memory card and on it was the answer he very much dreaded finding out.

On the stage Rayanne tried to steady her frazzled nerves, the anger that still boiled through her body slowly subsiding a little. She plastered an easy going and charming smile upon her face as she turned to her audience. Despite how upset and annoyed she was, there was no way she was making a scene at her best friends wedding. Taking the mic into her hand she took deep breath as she began to sing, the backing band following her lead a few seconds later.

_'I let it fall, my heart,_

_And as it fell you rose to claim it_

_It was dark and I was over_

_Until you kissed my lips and you saved me_

_My hands, they're strong_

_But my knees were far too weak,_

_To stand in your arms_

_Without falling to your feet'_

It wasn't long into the song before people began to dance . Jordan had pulled Angela up to the dance floor and now they stood swaying gently on the dance floor as they smiled and laughed quietly. Totally enraptured with one another. Rayanne tried not show her totally enragement as she spied them, she still couldn't believe Jordan could continue to lie like this and act so nonchalant. Gritting her teeth together, she kept singing, resolute in her next action. Catching Dooley's eye as he stood upon the fringes of the party, she winked at him and he smirked a little in response. The shit was about to hit the fan.

'_But there's a side to you_

_That I never knew, never knew._

_All the things you'd say_

_They were never true, never true,_

_And the games you play_

_You would always win, always win.'_

Brian stared at the phone in his hands, unable to move as his conscience ate at him. He didn't want to invade whatever small amount Rayanne still had from him, but at the same time he had to know. It was vitally important he knew what was on that memory card. So he typed in the code and unlocked the screen, his heart dropping as the first thing he saw was the confidentiality agreement he himself had found months before. It then hit him full force in the chest just who that kid was. Connor Dooley had worked at his firm as a private investigator in Boston, the same guy that had been fired and jailed for stealing vital evidence on a burglary case involving his uncle. Which meant the slimy ass hole probably had everything there was to know, because he was the best there was at his job. They were officially screwed. Brian threw the purse on a nearby table as he raced over to Jordan.

_"But I set fire to the rain,_

_Watched it pour as I touched your face,_

_Well, it burned while I cried_

_'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!_

_I let it fall, my heart,_

_And as it fell you rose to claim it_

_It was dark and I was over_

_Until you kissed my lips and you saved me"_

Jordan sighed contentedly as he held Angela tighter.

"What" she said curiously, looking up at him with confused expression.

"Nothing" he said with a smile "I'm just having a good time that's all".

Angela's expression relaxed as she grinned.

"I thought you said you hated weddings" she teased.

"No I said I hated _long _weddings, so far this has been fairly short." he retorted with a smile. Angela arched an eyebrow at him, but said nothing.

"In fact if I ever get married, I literally just want to do vows and the whole 'I do' part. ….And have cake of course. But the rest is just padding." he said with a humorous smirk. Angela beamed at him.

"You'd probably insist we have a ice cream sundae bar or something else equally ridiculous".

"Oh my God that would be amazing" Jordan said with genuine excitement and Angela laughed at his boyishness. Her smile fell a little though as a more serious expression came across her features. Jordan looked at her with concern as he watched her darkening face.

"You alright Angie?" he said softly. Angela looked away, suddenly feeling flushed in discomfort.

"Do you ever honestly seriously consider getting married, you know, to me" she said quietly. Jordan's eyebrows shot up to his hairline in surprise, not so much by her question, but the earnestness of her tone. He paused before he responded, a frown on his face as he thought about how to answer her. His reply was of course he thought about it, marrying her was his dream, but he wasn't quite sure if he was ready to take the plunge just yet.

Jordan nearly jumped out of his skin when Brian suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Sorry to interrupt guys but I really need to talk to Jordan" Brian said frantically. Jordan narrowed his eyes at Brian in distrust and annoyance, cursing him for bad timing.

"Sorry Brian, can you wait like 5 minutes." Jordan sternly, conscious that Angela was still looking at him for an answer.

"No I'm sorry I can't" Brian said bleakly . Jordan sighed in exasperation but did as he was asked and let go of Angela. Her face crumpled in disappointment as she realised she wasn't going to get an answer. Leaning in close ,Jordan kissed her cheek and whispered softly.

"We'll talk later. I promise". She gave him a weak smile in response and watched with a heavy heart as he followed Brian out of the room.

* * *

As Brian stopped just by the men's bathroom, Jordan stamped close in behind him.

"This had better be good Krakow, do you realise what you…"Jordan began crankily.

"Rayanne knows." Brian said quickly, running his fingers through his hair nervously. Jordan froze as he looked at Brian carefully.

"Knows what Brian" he said apprehensively. Brian didn't answer him, the look of shame and fear was more than enough to tell Jordan what was going on.

"Knows what Brian?" Jordan repeated through gritted teeth, gripping his friend by the lapels of his jacket. Dreading the answer that was sure to come out of his mouth.

"Everything" Brian said meekly. Jordan's eyes grew dark as a panicked rage filled him.

"How did you let this happen?" Jordan growled, his grip tightening on Brian jacket.

" This reporter was sniffing round the story about a month ago and Rayanne found the messages he'd left me and she got suspicious…." Brian said at breakneck speed.

"Reporter, what reporter?" . Brian looked at Jordan sheepishly.

"Malgarroto from the Times ,he was snooping around at Rayanne's film premiere but I made a deal with him so he'd drop the story. He said he wouldn't say anything to Rayanne if she called him again."

"How the hell did she find out then!" Jordan yelled . Brian's face went white in fear as shook a little.

"She hired an investigator….he brought the information here a few minutes ago" he gulped. Jordan let go of him as he ran his covered his face with his hands, Rayanne was the last person he'd ever had wanted to find about this. Her impetuous nature was not one which could be reasoned with. He knew he had a matter of minutes before she was finished on stage and went straight to Angela with the truth. If that happened, his life as he knew it was over.

"Where is the info?" Jordan asked anxiously.

"It's on an SD card in her phone." Brian said evenly.

"Wipe it." Jordan said coldly "I'll stall Rayanne and you get rid of everything. Got it!"

With that he brusquely turned and stalked back towards the wedding reception.

"But what about the investigator? What if he has a copy with him?"

Jordan stopped in his tracks and his eyes grew wide.

"He's still here, where?"

"Residents bar last place I saw." Brian replied gravely. With that Jordan pushed past him and tore down the hallway, growing desperation evident in his lumbering gait.

Rayanne's heart had begun to pound when she'd seen Brian race across the room out of the corner of her eye. She'd tried not to show her anxiety when she's watched as he'd dragged Jordan away from Angela, it was clear he now knew what she had uncovered. Obviously Brian was going to try stop her, but unfortunately it was too late. The wheels were now in motion and their was nothing he could do to stall the truth from being revealed. Dooley had made sure of that.

_"My hands, they're strong_

_But my knees were far too weak,_

_To stand in your arms_

_Without falling to your feet"_

She felt a pang of guilt as she spied Angela sitting by herself at one of the tables. Angela had no idea what was about to be dumped on her, it was almost unfair. Though it was too late for her to turn back now, it didn't make it any easier to be responsible for what was about to happen. To be the messenger of something that was sure to be the cause of so much hurt. Yet, she felt honour bound to do it.

Angela was starting to feel a little pissed off Jordan hadn't come back yet. She couldn't help but feel anxious about the question she'd asked him, she hadn't intended to spring it on him. For some reason, possibly due to the surroundings she found herself in today, it became vital that she knew that she and Jordan were on the same page when it came to the future of their relationship. It was not as if she wanted to get engaged or anything else any time soon, all she wanted to know was he at least could consider it in the not too distant future. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed the waiter standing beside her.

"Excuse me Miss" he said suddenly, startling her a little.

"Oh hi!" she said in slight embarrassment.

"A Mr. Connor Dooley wanted me to give you this." he said politely as he handed her a small black plastic square. Angela looked at it in confusion, turning it over in her hands.

"Ehh….thanks" she said distantly as she opened it to see a small memory card inside. Lifting it out, she saw a small note underneath written in Rayanne's handwriting.

"_Look at me_".

Angela shrugged and slotted the card into her phone.

_"But there's a side to you_

_That I never knew, never knew._

_All the things you'd say_

_They were never true, never true,_

_And the games you play_

_You would always win, always win."_

Jordan recognised Dooley almost immediately as he walked out of the banquet hall, a smug smile on his face. The younger man panicked as he saw Jordan a second too late and was pinned against the opposing wall.

"You asshole" Jordan said menacingly "you took a job investigating me. I'm your cousins best friend Dooley, what the fuck!".

"I'm sorry Catalano….. I was desperate for the money. I didn't know she was going to go to your girlfriend." Dooley said shakily "I swear."

Jordan shook his head in disbelief.

"Bullshit" he spat out angrily "if you were that desperate you would have gone to Shane. You greedy little fuck."

It took all the will power he had not to punch the younger guy in the face when he gave him an arrogant smirk in response.

"Fine" Dooley sighed indifferently "I didn't give a shit it was you. The money she offered was way too good to pass up."

Jordan clenched his jaw tightly as he fought to control his anger.

"Do you have any idea what you've done? How much you could fuck up my life if the wrong person gets their hands on this shit" Jordan growled threateningly. Dooley shrugged as he gave Jordan an apathetic look.

"Now, you're going to give me the copy of what you gave Rayanne or I'm going to beat the shit out of you dickhead" Jordan said evenly, his eyes now burning with barely contained anger.

"No" Dooley said flippantly "can't do that".

Jordan sighed before shoving Dooley into the wall roughly, pressing his arm further in Dooley's chest and causing the man to wince in obvious pain.

"You can keep hurting me all you want man, it's too late." he wheezed

"Where is the card Connor" Jordan roared. Dooley laughed a little as he looked at Jordan haughtily.

"Your girlfriend has it" he said , pointing back into the room. Jordan's blood ran cold as he heard this, his eye's growing wide in terror.

Jordan let go of Dooley almost immediately as he searched the crowds for Angela, a cold sweat forming in his back.

"You better get the fuck out of here before I kill you. " he said in a low growl, glaring back at Dooley. The instigator didn't need a second invitation, giving Jordan a terse nod he walked swiftly out to the main door of hotel.

Jordan paused a second the in shadows of the bright party lights to overcome his dread, before pushing past people as he frantically searched the busy party for Angela. On stage Rayanne was finishing up the last chorus of the song, now fully aware everything had fallen into place as she saw Jordan frozen solid as he stood in front of Angela. Her best friend was staring murderously at her boyfriend, a tightly clenched cell phone in her right hand.

"I set fire to the rain,

Watched it pour as I touched your face,

Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name"

Jordan was struck dumb by the heat of Angela's glare, it burned him right to his very core and he was unable to move. In her eyes he could see hurt, betrayal, confusion, anger but most of all, hate. There had only been one other time in his entire life he'd seen so much hatred for him in someone else's eyes and that person had been his own father. Her chest was heaving as her anger seemed to bubble to the surface, her face reddening as the seconds passed. Jordan's brain screamed at him to speak, to say something to improve the situation, but his mouth just wouldn't comply. He knew his pathetic lack of action was doing nothing but making her madder.

"Angela, I can explain." he began, his voice shaking audibly as he looked at her desperately. Angela laughed in disbelief, his remorseful but feeble puppy dog eyes enraging her more than she thought possible. Grabbing her purse off the table she strode off towards the French doors that lead to the garden.

"Angela…" Jordan begged ineffectually as he stepped in front of her, placing his hand on her arms to stall her progress . Angela's jaw tightened belligerently as she gave him a disgusted glance, pulling her arms free of his grasp.

"I don't want to hear anything you've got to say Jordan. " she spat back at him furiously, pushing him out the way. Jordan stood there in shock for a second before rushing after her.

Brian watched the scene with sympathy, feeling it was now a lost cause. He scowled at Rayanne as she passed him to get her purse.

"You happy now Rayanne. Are you proud of what you've done? ." he said bitterly, now so mad he couldn't even look at her in eye.

"No I'm not happy" she said sadly, looking dejectedly at where Angela had stormed off from a second before "in fact. I don't think I've felt worse in my entire life."

* * *

As Jordan bolted through the door after Angela he was instantly assaulted by the driving rain and howling wind as it whipped its way around the grounds. He was quickly soaked to the skin as the skies seemed to open above, pounding him over and over again as he ran across the soaked lawns of the hotel. The noise of the wind was overwhelming as he called out Angela's name, knowing it almost farcical to try to be heard over the din of the gale. Away from the bright lights of the hotel building, it was hard for him to see through the torrential down pour as he desperately searched for her.

"ANGELA!" He yelled frantically, stopping at the fringe of the woods as he scanned the gloomy area quickly with his eyes.

"Fuck it, I can't see a damn thing" he yelled in frustration at this cruel twist of fate. Jordan almost swallowed his words as a suddenly flash of lightening behind him stilled his heart for a beat, an unimaginable terror filling his body. He was immobile as his childhood fear froze him to the spot, every fibre of his being telling him to run and hide in the safe confines of the hotel. As a second flash filled the sky and a roll of thunder ripped through the night, Jordan found himself pressed flush against the trunk of a tree, his heart thumping as his chest heaved in complete agony. Jordan was on the verge of tears from the complete hysteria he was edging closer to, unable to think coherently as his nerves were shredding in the thunderstorm. Yet it was in this total loss of senses and cognitive reasoning that Jordan saw Angela, her slim form hunched beside a tree not far from him, her pale skin effervescent in the momentary illuminations of the lightening. And suddenly Jordan was without fear for his own safety, only afraid that she would disappear into the darkness.

Gasping for breath, he pushed himself forward as the sky lit up behind him, revealing what was being lost in the darkness of the storm. His footsteps were heavy as he trudged through the mud and long dead leaves underfoot, the cold starting to bite at his skin. He could see her dress was soaked through as she sat at the base of the oak, yet he sure that it wasn't the chill was making her shake so badly. Jordan gulped as he approached her, knowing he was heading into a bloody battle he was likely to lose, but one which he knew he had to fight. Kneeling down in front of her, he softly said her name as he touched her shoulder. Angela jumped slightly, her red rimmed eyes and mascara covered cheeks giving her an almost manic look as she her glazed gaze met his concerned and earnest one.

"Angela I'm so sorry" he said brokenly, his hope shattered as her eyes hardened into a glare. She suddenly rushed forward without warning, pushing him to the ground as she stood up and stamped further into the darkness. Jordan scrambled to his feet as he quickly caught up with her, catching her by the arm.

"Stop Angela! Please let me explain." he said more forcefully as he held on to her wrist tightly. Turning on her heel, Angela stared at him fiercely.

"I don't want to hear anything you gave got to say to me Jordan, do you understand!" she roared, shoving him again.

"At least let me explain Angela" he said more insistently, not making any move to let go of her. She shook her head at him as she scowled

"And what…..give you the opportunity to lie to me again." she shot back bitterly, ripping her hand out of his grasp.

"Or maybe you'll actually tell the damn truth for once."

Jordan's face fell as he realised nothing he was going to say to her was going to sound right, there was nothing he could say that would exonerate his actions in her mind.

"I didn't lie…." he began meekly, looking down at the ground.

"That is totally crap Jordan, not telling me is tantamount to the same thing! I've been asking you for weeks what was bothering you. How did you think keeping something like this from me was okay!" she shouted, smacking him hard in the chest.

"I didn't want to implicate you…." he said touchily, looking at her earnestly.

"Implicate me? You got the police to change official records involving an accident I was directly responsible for, how could I not be implicated you moron?" she cried out, throwing her hands up into the air in frustration.

" I was just trying to protect you" Jordan replied a little more hotly.

"No you were trying to protect yourself from the publicity." Angela said accusingly " trying to cover your tracks for doing something so asinine as giving a child a car." Jordan's face darkened as he looked at her with hurt, his temper quickly flaring as his good intentions were being twisted right in front of his eyes.

" Angela I have never abdicated responsible for what happened that day, for what I nearly caused by giving Jason that car. When you were in that coma I had to do something….. I felt helpless and scared and this…." He paused , his eyes downcast as he exhaled gravely.

"This was the only thing I could actually do to try fix things….I was terrified you were going to die" he said with a raw honesty. Angela's glare softened a fraction, she almost felt guilty for hurting him as he looked at her woundedly. Jordan breathed in deeply as he continued, a glimmer of hope forming in his heart as he saw her calming a little.

"If you didn't pull through, I didn't want to ruin whatever type of future Jason had left".

Her gaze was almost passive as she stared at him, quietly weighing it all up in her mind. Jordan took this as a positive sign and started to move a little closer to her, reaching out to catch her hand. He cursed his impulsiveness though as her face darkened again and she started to back away from him.

"You told me once, you wanted Jason to stay grounded in life. To know even if he did come from a family with money, that he wasn't untouchable because of it. If you really believed that, why did you do exactly the opposite at the first sign of trouble?" she said resentfully.

Jordan almost laughed at her in bitter frustration.

"Because do you have any idea what something like on his permanent record would do to his chances of getting into a good college, getting a good job or anything else. I mean what if one of the Hewson's had died or their baby?" Jordan said irately.

"Yeah, what if one of the Hewson's had died Jordan! What would you have done then, act like none of this was our fault? Convince the authorities to change the record so it would look like they were the ones that caused accident? Would you have been able to live with that guilt? Sometimes we all have to take responsibilities for the bad decisions we make. Jason would have been fine and you know it" Angela retorted angrily. Jordan's jaw set in a hard line as he stared her down, furious she was turning his words against him.

"You know I really thought you'd changed, that you'd grown up, but your still the same selfish irresponsible asshole you always were." she hissed at him. Jordan gritted his teeth as he fought the urge to yell at her, she was always the same when she was hurt, lashing out where it wasn't necessary. It was one of the very few things he really hated about her.

"I did everything for you Angela, why do you find it so unbelievable that I did this for the right reasons" Jordan shot back, now glaring at her.

"That would be easier to accept if you hadn't lied to me for 5 months Jordan. If you really thought what you did was right, why the hell did you keep it from me.!" she shouted back. Jordan opened his mouth to answer, his words failing him for a moment as he tried to rationalise it . What it had been that had drove him to such clandestine measures. His face growing red in shame as he avoided her eyes.

"I didn't know how, the longer it went it on the harder it became for me to tell you. I was afraid you'd leave me…" he said with obvious insecurity.

His answer hung in the air between them as the pressure built in the atmosphere. Angela's angry expression slowly dipped into an expression full of anguish, like she was fighting against her better judgement, her natural inclination to immediately forgive him. But this time, she just couldn't. He'd gone to far.

"Unfortunately you were right, but it's not because you paid off those people or made a rash decision that ultimately was wrong, but because you never trusted me with the truth." Angela said more dejectedly, tears now starting to fall from her eyes. Jordan's heart began to beat erratically as he realised just what she was suggesting, his whole world starting to fall down around him. He took a step towards her, a look of total desperation evident in his face .

"Angela, please. You know it wasn't like that….." he spluttered.

"This was supposed to be our clean slate Jordan, no more secrets remember? For someone who hates liars, you're certainly good at being one." she growled at him sourly. "I mean if you've lied about something like this, how do I know you told the truth about Amy or any of those stupid parties. How do I know anything you've ever told me was the truth.".

"What!? How is that even relevant to this argument?" Jordan shouted in disbelief.

"Trust Jordan. Something that all relationships must have and what you have managed to destroy in one exceptionally massive swoop!" Angela exploded at him . Her anger seemed to suddenly disappear again as it hit her what she had to do, where exactly this argument was heading.

"I could have dealt with you being a lot of things Jordan, but not a liar. If I can't trust you, we can't be together" she said softly ,but resolutely.

Angela stared at him for the longest time, no longer feeling the freezing rain as it covered her completely. Jordan was rooted to the spot, the fight gone out of him as he looked at her disconsolately. Jordan didn't know how he could possibly make her see he was truly sorry, that he regretted every single mistruth he told her, but her mind it seemed was utterly made up. He just stared back at her impassively, clearly edging closer to tears as he stayed almost immobile in his spot. Had circumstances been different Angela would have enveloped him in her arms and tried to sooth the ill feelings out of him. Held him close as she'd stroke his the sodden hair that stuck to his head. Kissed his cheek until the haunted look went out of his eyes. But things were not different and as much as she still loved him terribly, she couldn't trust him. Taking one last pained look at him, she turned back in the direction of the hotel and walked back out of the woods and onto the lawn. Her heart ripping further in two every step she took away from him.

Suddenly Jordan was right behind her, twisting her back around as he took her face into his hands and kissed her with all the force and passion he still had left. Angela was breathless as he kissed her under the torrential rainstorm , her sense clouded by the sheer noise of the wind and thunder out in the open. Angela gasped for air as she clung onto him desperately in return, her resolve eroding little by little. Yet her decision was remained unchanged despite the growing ache in her soul. She could feel her heart breaking inside her chest as she knew that once he stopped kissing her, she had to say goodbye to him. Angela had no choice, she couldn't spend the rest of her life wondering if Jordan could be faithful or not. Gently pushing him away, her breath forming long columns of steam as she panted in exhilaration, she gazed up at him forlornly. Jordan eye's fixed on hers with a pleading gaze, he's blue eyes so sad it cut her deep down.

"Goodbye Jordan" she said unhappily as she softly removed his hands from her face . She turned away from him again, and walked in the direction of the bright lights of the party.

"Angela please don't do this. I love you." he begged.

Angela stopped for a second, looking back at him with deep anguish, tears now streaming from her eyes.

"And I'll always love you but it's not enough Jordan, not any more." she said resolutely. Without another second glance she walked away, leaving him standing forlornly in the middle of the vast empty darkness, her heart and hope washed away with him in the rain.

* * *

Rayanne had rushed to Angela's side as soon as she'd seen her shuffle through the doors that lead to the garden. She could see on her friends face this lost and shell shocked depression that seemed to magnify with every passing second.

"Angelika are you okay?" she implored as she gripped her best friends arm as she walked slowly passed all the other wedding guests.

"I'm fine" Angela said shakily as she looked at her friend unreceptively, the tell tale sign of fallen tears in her gaze "I just need to alone right now".

"What happened?" Rayanne said softly, suddenly feeling remorseful for her recklessness. Angela smiled her sadly before her face scrunched up in clear upset. She sighed as looked at Rayanne steadily.

"We broke up…" she whispered with difficulty, her voice breaking as she spoke. Rayanne looked at her uncomfortably, her previously strong convictions seeming trivial as she saw her friends obvious anguish.

"I'm so sorry….." she said unhappily as she pulled into her arms. Angela hugged back half heartedly, her upset quickly rising to the surface. She instantly needed to get out of there before she created a scene, such was her impulse to cry at that second.

"It's okay, thank you for telling me truth" Angela said quietly, her voice thick with emotion as she slowly drifted away from her best friend.

"I'm glad someone is honest around here" she said with clear bitterness as she turned and walked out the door without another glance.

A second later Rickie was at her side out of the blue, looking at Angela curiously.

"Is she okay? She doesn't look good" he said with concern as he fixed Rayanne a suspicious stare. Rayanne gave him a weak smile as she sighed sadly.

"She'll be okay, eventually. Today is your wedding day Rickie, maybe it is best I tell you tomorrow." Rickie looked at her cautiously, his gaze shifting towards Angela's quickly diminishing figure.

"That bad" he said sardonically. Rayanne nodded solemnly.

"Unfortunately yes" she said bleakly.

It wasn't long after this that Rayanne began to grow troubled by the fact Jordan still hadn't returned. Despite the awful weather that raged outside, she took it upon herself to venture out in the threatening dark to find him, feeling almost obligated to ensure his safety considering what she'd done. Grabbing an abandoned coat from one of the tables near the French doors, she opened it as she walked out into the unrelenting weather.

"Jordan" she yelled, knowing it was a slim chance he'd hear her over the tremendous volume of the storm. To her great relief, she spotted him sitting not to far away on a bench, completely still in the chaos of the unrepentant rain. Rayanne sat down beside him, too guilt ridden by her tactlessness to say anything she sat in silence. Despite her initial convictions of what she done was right, now all she felt was regret for how she'd handled it. Raising his head slightly, Jordan looked at her animosity, his eyes fiery as he glared.

"Come to gloat" he said coldly. Rayanne shook her head gently as she looked back at him remorsefully.

"No" she said "I came to say I'm sorry". Jordan eyes widened in surprise at her admission, a state that did not last as he's expression darkened again.

"Yeah, well we're all sorry in retrospect. It doesn't change the present." he said resentfully, staring off for a second towards the woods. They sat there for the longest time in silence as they were lost to their own thoughts. Jordan was the first to break the bitter reverie, rising to his feet without a word and walking to the open doors of the banquet hall. Rayanne followed after him, her heart heavy as she caught Brian's eye from the doorway.

Before she could say anything, he looked at her in disgust and walked away to the bar without a second glance.

* * *

Jordan was still soaking wet and covered in mud as he climbed the small staircase to the stage, fully intent on performing as he had promised Rickie. Everyone watched him with interest, totally mystified by his dishevelled appearance. Even Rickie looked at him with concern, immediately knowing his unkempt state had everything to do with Angela. Jordan stared out into the crowd with thinly veiled hostility , his gaze not quite focused as he was clearly under the influence alcohol. Jason and Patty gasped as they finally saw him, both of them dreading to find out what had happened to cause him to get to this condition. Jordan didn't seem to take heed of anyone else in the room, as he turned to the band behind him for a second. Without another word he sat at the nearby piano. As he opened his mouth to sing, all the pain and anguish he felt gushed out in his voice, stilling and hypnotising everyone in the room in an instant.

"_I'm holding on your rope,_

_Got me ten feet off the ground_

_I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound_

_You tell me that you need me_

_Then you go and cut me down, but wait_

_You tell me that you're sorry_

_Didn't think I'd turn around, and say..._

_That it's too late to apologize_

_It's too late_

_I said it's too late to apologize_

_It's too late"_

Jason's anxiety was growing by the minute as he watched Jordan in transfixed horror, his fathers pained but aggressive tone chilling him inside. He couldn't wrap around his head around it, what had happened? Jason started to think back on the day, finding nothing unusual in his memory that could cause Jordan to breakdown like this. Jason knew only trouble with Angela could make Jordan to act like this, in fact the more he watched his father, Jason realised the last time he'd seen his father this forlorn had been after he'd discovered she lied to him about Jason. Yet this theory seemed almost baffling as Jason considered how loved up they'd been less than an hour earlier.

'_I'd take another chance, take a fall_

_Take a shot for you_

_And I need you like a heart needs a beat_

_But it's nothing new - yeah_

_I loved you with the a fire red _

_Now it's turning blue, and you say..._

_"Sorry" like an angel_

_Heaven let me think was you_

_But I'm afraid…'_

Jason's attention was suddenly taken up by the appearance of his mother at the edge of the room. He watched as a sad smile flicked at the corners of her mouth and a faraway look seemed to flit across her features as she watched his father absorbedly. Angela gave Jason a poignant smile as she caught him looking at her, her eyes flat and hopeless. He grew ever more concerned by the situation as he saw the small over night suitcase at her feet, fully packed and ready to leave with her at that very second. Jason felt the urge to get up and follow her out, but he was stopped short by Angela shaking her head with a bitter-sweet smile. She needed him to stay, at least just tonight with his father. Without another word, she silently slipped away into the shadows, the soft sound of her own sobbing the only thing she had for company.

* * *

As Jordan finally finished the song, he knew she gone. He had watched in torture as she'd slipped away in to the darkness, her suitcase in her hand. Forgiveness seemed impossible now. Everything was lost. No one said a word as he walked passed them from the stage and out of the room, all of them stunned into submission by what they'd just witnessed. Jason jumped out of his seat despite Patty's protests and followed him. He was the only one that had any chance of ensuring Jordan didn't do anything stupid in his drunken and depressed state. Rayanne watched the whole scene with increasing guilt, this wasn't what she'd wanted at all. She hadn't thought Angela would have taken it this bad, but obviously things like this couldn't be predicted. Despite her previous convictions ,she'd couldn't help but feel sorry for causing Jordan's distraught and pain. It had been juvenile of her to do what she did. Rayanne was also certain this incident was not exactly going to be a positive for her relationship with Brian. He still hadn't spoken to her, yet she wasn't going to approach him first. She was too mad at him for lying.

Rayanne had contemplated going to bed, her mood not improving despite the frivolities of earlier returning to the wedding. She was just about to excuse herself when her phone began to ring, she answered it immediately as she saw Angela's number.

"Hi Sweetie, how are you doing?" she said gently as she felt a small amount to relief wash over her.

"Shit" Angela replied with a sniff "I'm on my way back to Manhattan. I'm moving out of Jordan's apartment.".

Rayanne's blood ran cold as she digested what her best friend had said..

"Wait what? Don't you think that's a little rash?" she spluttered in surprise.

"No, I think it's entirely rational considering the circumstances." Angela said coldly "He lied and I can't trust him. There's nothing else to say."

Rayanne's heart sank as she realised there was nothing she could say in this situation that would make Angela change her mind. The die had been cast.

"Well you know you're welcome to stay at mine as long as you want, I mean it is still technically your place." Rayanne said bleakly. Angela laughed lightly in spite of her bad humour.

"I'll see you tomorrow then Ray Ray." she said more sweetly " I hope Rickie's not too pissed I left."

"Nah, he'll understand once I explain " Rayanne sighed.

"Thanks" Angela said with genuine gratitude.

"Will you do me one more favour too?" she said after a beat.

"Yeah, what is it?" Rayanne replied in genuine interest.

"Promise me you'll keep an eye on Jordan." she said sadly .

"I will" Rayanne said seriously.

"Good see you tomorrow sweetie." She replied miserably, her voice soft and broken. With that Angela hung up, the sudden urge to cry overcoming her. Rayanne stared at her phone with self loathing , she was an idiot for thinking what she did was the right thing to do. As she looked over at Brian with obvious shame he looked back at her impassively. To her surprise he gave her an apologetic half smile.

"I'm sorry" he mouthed to her across the room. Smiling back at him in response, she mouthed back.

"It's okay". Her heart seemed to lighten a little as he nodded happily before turning his attention back to whoever was singing on the stage at that moment. Rayanne's contentment was only fleeting as a concerned looking Jason walked into the room. He looked around the room in dejected confusion, obviously trying to find his grandmother amongst the masses.

Rayanne rose from her chair swiftly and caught him by the elbow.

"Are you okay Jay" she said soothingly. Jason scared eyes fell on hers as he gulped.

"My Dad's in a bad sate and…I don't know what to do?" he said meekly.

Rayanne took a deep breath as she guilt once more rushed through her .

"C'mon me and Brian will help you." she said seriously. Turning back to Brian she beckoned him with her head. Brian looked between her and Jason with interest, he nodded solemnly as he understood.

Together the three of them extracted Jordan from the bar and coaxed him into bed. No one in doubt that his heart was irrevocably broke when they'd seen the look of desolation in his eyes .

"I'm sorry Angie" was all he could say as they left him curled up under the covers. Rayanne hadn't seen him in this kind of trouble since he was a kid, the total self destruction she'd seen in him eyes making her feel worse than she'd ever thought possible.

"I'll watch him" Rayanne said seriously as the other two looked at her hesitantly.

"You sure" Brian said seriously.

"I promised I would" she replied without any indecision. Brian gave her cheek a quick kiss as he walked away.

"You know where I am if you need me" he said sweetly.

"Always" she replied with a smile. With that he and Jason left the room and Rayanne sat down in a nearby armchair, watching the sleeping Jordan unhappily.

"You better find a way to make her forgive you, because guilty really isn't a good look for me" She muttered sourly, Bump kicking her repeatedly as her regrets ate at her soul. Life at this second was a bitch. And she had no one but herself to blame for it.

**-Hello readers, I'm sure you all hate me right now. But it was a long time coming! The next chapter should be up quicker as I want to tie up this story ASAP….I've now been writing it for 2 years, Wow. Until next time, much love. RedCatCatalano xxx**


	25. Wicked Games

_**Hi guys, **_

_**I hope everyone is well! Sorry this chapter has taken so long to complete, I've been having a hard time writing it for some reason. Bad case of writers block hit and some parts were like pulling teeth to write. Despite this, I did enjoy it again once I got my rhythm back. Anyway….it's finally done :-D**__** Woooh! A couple of reviewers felt Angela overreacted in the last chapter (and they are kind of right) So as such I've toned the melodrama a little in this chapter, I hope this is more true to the character…I think it is! In fact it might be a little anti-climatic after the last few chapters extreme drama…..that doesn't mean there isn't a cliff hangar or two. Cool! So I hope you enjoy this instalment. I love you all for sticking with me this long, the end is in sight….ish. Thanks for all the reviews and support.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Red**_

* * *

Jason woke with a start as he tried to ascertain where he was in the semi-darkness of the dawn. His alarm continued beeping as he reached out a hand to smack it in his slightly delirious state.

"Dammit, I hate school days." he mumbled sleepily as he rubbed his eyes. The strange shapes in the room started to swim before his eyes as they readjusted to the light. It took him a further few seconds to realise where he was, the room he'd slept in since he was eight years old now seeming alien to him after living for so many months with Jordan . Jason exhaled loudly as he sat up in his bed, the familiar feeling of dread overcoming him. Ever since Rickie's wedding things had become increasingly more complicated in his life, a daily struggle not upset the delicate balance that had formed in the wake of his parents break-up. It was exhausting to spend his waking hours trying not to trouble either party by mentioning the other, a task that he was not always able to fulfil. At least living with Rayanne was enough to distract his mother most of the time. His Dad on the other hand was another story, one which he didn't like to contemplate too much. He had decided to stay completely impartial about it, because he understood why his father had done what he'd done, as much as he understood why his mother had left Jordan. There really was no right answer in this situation, just two very hurt and damaged people. There weren't exactly fighting though, just actively avoiding each another and Jason was certain they hadn't said more than three words to one another in weeks. In some ways it was much worse then it had ever been the year before after Jordan had found out about Jason, maybe this time the cut had run much deeper.

Jason pulled back the covers as he swung his legs over the side of his bed, the comforting and familiar feeling of his soft carpet under foot making him smile a little. In the currently unsettled circumstances of his life, he took pleasure in the small delights such as this that got him through the day. His alarm clock wailed loudly beside him, startling Jason a little.

"Stupid crappy snooze button" he grumbled loudly as he smacked it again. Immediate relief washed over him as the shrill noise was cut short. He found the small shock had woken him up considerably and because of this ,he released with a start ,something that had slipped his sleep drugged mind.

"Crap" he exclaimed in slight panic, jumping to his feet and running to the bathroom, pulling off his pyjamas as he went along.

Angela and Rayanne were still in their nightgowns and slippers as Jason raced down the stairs in a complete fluster. Angela almost choked on her coffee with laughter as she caught sight of her son, his wet hair sticking up in several different directions and his school shirt buttoned in total disarray, half tucked into his pants.

"Geez Junior where's the fire? " Rayanne joked as she took in the sight of him, pulling on his black patent shoes over his odd socks.

Jason threw his maroon school tie around his neck and haphazardly knotted it.

"Have you guys seen my navy pullover or blazer?" he said hurriedly as he grabbed a muffin and plastic bottle of orange juice off the counter.

Angela shook her head as she watched him scramble around the apartment in desperation with growing amusement.

"Honey, seriously. Why are you acting like your trying to find a nuclear bomb?" she said with a smile.

"Because I totally forgot I have a A.P Chemistry test today and I need to get to school ASAP to study. The stupid anally retentive assholes won't let me sit the test if I'm not _properly attired_." he replied grumpily.

"Ah hell it's one test Jay Jay and you're only a Sophomore." Rayanne said with a smile as Jason face lit up after locating his blazer.

"No no no…..I have to ace this one or it could bring down my entire grade average for the year, and if that happens I won't end the year on the honour role thanks to stupid French consistently bringing down my GPA. And if I don't end the year on the honour role…." he gulped dramatically, looking round anxiously for his pullover in growing agitation.

"Oh God he's starting to sound like Krakow" Rayanne groaned and Angela laughed in response.

"Try the dryer, your spare one might be in there." Angela said soothingly, trying to calm her soon a little.

Jason nodded in thanks, galloping off into laundry room.

"How long do you think it'll take him to realise he's read the time wrong?" Rayanne grinned at Angela.

"Probably a minute or two." she smirked. Just then Jason wandered back into the room looking much calmer, his pull over in hand.

"It's 7 am not 8 am isn't it." he said sheepishly.

"Yep" Angela laughed slightly and Jason gave her a half grin of embarrassment.

"I keep meaning to change the time on that stupid clock" he sighed.

"I hope it's the only thing you've forgotten this week…." Rayanne said pointedly with a smile. Jason looked back at her in confusion. Rayanne widened her gaze and gestured her head in the direction of Angela. Jason smacked his hand against his forehead as it dawned upon him what she meant.

"It's your birthday on Friday. Damn it" he said unhappily, looking at his mother remorsefully.

"I'm so sorry I haven't gotten you anything yet. I don't know where my minds been lately….I'm just so, distracted." he said wearily. Angela's face darkened as she knew immediately why he'd been in such a state.

"Don't worry, considering the circumstances….it's understandable." Jason didn't know what to say in response he just nodded and quietly put on the woollen pull over in his hand.

"So, I think I'm just going to set off to school early considering I'm pretty much ready." he said humourlessly after a beat, putting on his blazer and picking up his school bag.

"Okay, just one word of advise before you do? Fix your hair, you look like a homeless man." Angela said with a smile.

"Fine, you're probably right" Jason grumbled, strolling into the downstairs bathroom.

"Your kid is hilarious sometimes." Rayanne said with a grin and Angela rolled her eyes in agreement.

"Yeah, well I'm a little worried about him to be honest." She said humourlessly "I don't think he's coping well with the change."

"He'll be fine Ange, don't stress." Angela looked out the window doubtfully as Rayanne tried to catch her eye.

"Jason will be fine and so will you. Time heals all wounds."

"Yeah maybe" Angela replied quietly.

"You think maybe you should try talk to him? From what I hear Jordan's the one who's not coping" Rayanne said gravely.

Angela sighed tiredly as she gave Rayanne a sad half smile.

"Sometimes I think I should just give in and go back to him, but then, something always stops me. I'm not sure I can get passed it even though I know its killing him. Do you think that's cold?" she asked seriously. Rayanne opened her mouth to reply, but couldn't find the correct answer, her frown deepening as she thought about it fully.

"No, it's only been 2 months since you broke up so you're bound to be still a little pissed." she said noncommittally.

"But do you think I'm right to still be mad" Angela asked pointedly. Rayanne looked at her best friend a little uncomfortably.

"Well…." she began..

Just then Jason waltzed out into the kitchen and Rayanne quickly shut her mouth again.

"So…" Jason said cockily, pointing at his newly brushed hair "Better?"

"Very handsome baby boy" Angela said teasingly, standing up to give his cheek a kiss.

"Good luck today sweetie, I know you'll do fine." Giving her a confident smirk as he pulled his backpack onto his shoulders.

"See you guys later, behave yourselves" he said jokingly. With that he left the apartment, walking with purpose to the elevator.

As the large steel doors shut in front of him, he breathed deeply ,a sense of dismay washing over him. Taking out the iPhone in his pocket he re-read Beth's message with trepidation.

"_Come meet me straight after the Chem test. I have to show you something. It's really important, Love you xxx"_

His first terrified thought when he'd first read it had been that she was pregnant, but that had been quickly rejected in his mind. He knew for a fact she was having her monthly friend that week. Jason sighed again as he put the phone back in his pocket, well this was a great way to start the day.

* * *

It wasn't until lunch that Jason finally saw Beth, the teacher's extra vigilance over class tardiness and students wandering the halls prevented him from sneaking away. He gave her a quick smile , spotting her across the cafeteria as he waded through the crowds of students with his food tray.

"S'up beautiful" he said happily, giving her a quick kiss as he sat down beside her "Sorry I haven't seen you all day. I just couldn't get away for a minute"

"It's okay baby" Beth said with a smile as she touched his cheek, thoroughly glad to her boyfriend for the first time in days. They sat their contentedly in silence for a moment before Jason's curiosity got the better of him.

"So" he said more brightly then he'd intended "what was this big news you wanted to tell me". Beth shifted uncomfortably in the chair beside him, her eyes downcast. Jason's easy going gaze hardened as he looked at her warily.

"Beth?" he began more insistently.

"Promise me you're not going to flip out or do something stupid" she answered timidly. Jason frowned heavily but nodded in agreement.

Taking a breath, Beth took her phone out of her purse.

"My Mom was out with some of her old modelling friends last night in the Village, they went to a club where a couple of other celebrities sometimes hang out. You know, one of those kind of exclusive bars. Any way, they saw your Dad there."

Jason stiffened a little in his seat as he looked at her impassively, dreading the worst as he patiently waited for her to continue. The underlying fear he felt barely contained in his gut.

"Go on" he said quietly.

"He was over in a corner with Shane and a couple of other friends my Mom didn't recognise…." Beth said matter-of-factly.

"And?" Jason asked reticently.

"Jordan was really slamming down the drinks, and….Shane seemed to be trying to slow him down, but he just wouldn't."

Jason's stomach dropped a fraction as he began to see where this was going. Beth looked at him sympathetically before she continued on.

"My Mom had been recording her friend on her phone doing something stupid or whatever, but instead she caught this." she said quietly, pressing play on the video displayed on her phone.

Jason frowned as he squinted at the screen, the darkness of the club making it hard for him to see what was going on. All at once he saw him, his father standing irately face to face with someone in the background. The focus of the camera seemed to shift toward them as he pushed the other man aggressively, clearly shouting something at him. Behind Jordan, his friend Steven was trying to pull him back as Shane attempted to stand between the two very belligerent men. Though the club was noisy, Jason could just about make out the roaring voice of his enraged father.

"You better fucking take it back man, you fucking take back what you said about her"

The other man seem to laugh at Jordan's reaction, Jason recognised as some young heartthrob from a crappy boy band he'd forgotten the name of.

"What the hell do you care what I say about her, the bitch broke up with and is probably celebrating dumping your dumb ass by blowing some…".

The musician's taunt was swiftly cut off by a sudden thunderous right hook from Jordan. The kid went down in a heap on the floor and then all hell seemed to break out all around Jordan as more punches were thrown. The video in front of Jason began to blur in the ensuing chaos as screams and shouts could be heard. A few seconds seemed to pass before the video was blurred completely as Beth's mother and friends ran out the back exit of the club and out of harms way. As the picture final began to clear again, Jason saw Shane drag a subdued Jordan out of the club, his sleeve drenched in red from the blood pouring from his arm.

"What the hell is wrong with you Catalano" he heard Shane shout "Now I have to bring your stupid ass to the hospital". With that the video cut off and Jason looked at Beth in shock.

"Damn it" he hissed, covering his face with hands. Beth looked at him guiltily before she reached out and pulled him in close to her.

"My Mom said Jordan's arm got sliced open in the fight but the ambulance got there pretty quick so your Dad was okay."

Jason's tense shoulders relaxed a fraction as he lowered his hands.

"Does she know if anyone else got the fight on video?" he asked bleakly.

Beth shrugged as she gave him an apologetic look.

"I don't know, I'm sorry".

"Goddamn it Dad" Jason hissed again, raking a hand through his short, dark hair. Rising from his chair suddenly, he looked down at Beth with latent rage in his eyes.

"I have to go, will you cover for me in French long enough for me to get uptown?" he asked coldly.

"You promised you wouldn't freak out or do something stupid" she replied in exasperation.

"I'm not, but I just can't just sit here after seeing that. Please do this for me" Jason said more forcefully as his eyes flashed angrily. Beth pursed her lips as she held her tongue, deciding it was better not to argue with him about it.

"Fine" she sighed with dissatisfaction, refusing to look at him. Jason stood there awkwardly for a second, knowing he'd pissed her off. He nodded in thanks before grabbing his backpack silently and walking brusquely to the lunch room door, resolute in his decision.

* * *

It wasn't long before Jason had reached the door of his father's apartment. He'd been a little surprised just how easy it had been for him to sneak away from school, he would have thought with the huge tuition fee they forced his parents to pay they'd at least keep a more vigilant watch on their students. Obviously this was not the case. Taking a deep apprehensive breath, Jason unlocked the door and stepped inside. Shane nearly jumped out of his skin as he reached the top of the stairs in the kitchen.

"Jesus Junior, you scared the shit out of me! What are you doing here Jay?" he asked breathlessly.

"I know what happened last night Shane, where is he?" Jason answered grimly, an angry glare shot at his fathers best friend. Shane's face darkened as he looked back at Jason sheepishly.

"Upstairs, in his room".

Jason didn't reply as he pushed passed Shane without a second glance.

"Go easy on him Jay, he's been having a rough time lately and he's in pain" Shane said quietly, stopping Jason in his tracks.

"Whatever" Jason replied bitterly, stamping up the stairs with purpose.

Despite his lack of sleep over the previous 24 hours, Jordan was unable to sleep as he lay in his bed. The pain meds had finally kicked and the last of last nights alcohol had finally left his body. He should have felt exhausted, he had spent the best part of ten hours in the hospital getting his damn arm fixed. It had taken him less than two seconds to start that fight, and 16 stitches down the length of his forearm to fix the damage done in his drunken skirmish. Jordan didn't even fully remember why he'd gotten into the verbal altercation with the kid in the first place that had lead to him cold clocking him. But he knew how it had ended, once the douche bag had insulted Angela, Jordan was beyond rational reasoning. She may have shattered his heart, but that didn't mean he'd stand for an idiot like that talking trash about her.

Jordan ran his fingers over the raised bumps of his stitches under the bandages, almost enjoying the slight sting of pain he got. It was nothing compared to the ache in his chest he felt every waking hour since he'd come home to find her gone after Rickie's wedding. That was real pain. One which he'd been increasingly been trying to dull with the poisonous mix of alcohol and cigarettes, a habit which had unfortunately lead to the dispute yesterday. He wasn't exactly proud of his present behaviour, particularly as it didn't send a great message to his still impressionable son, but he felt he had not other option to reduce the anguish he felt. Jordan had tried calling her numerous times ,but she never picked up anymore. She wanted nothing to do with him, that was obvious. The last time he'd called, she'd finally answered that she wanted him to stop trying to contact her, so he did. Jordan had no choice.

The apartment felt empty without her there, Jason stayed over at least three times a week and Shane and Patty visited regularly, but it wasn't the same. He missed Angela so much it killed him. Jordan knew he looked like shit at the moment, the excess alcohol, lack of sleep and repressed appetite had made him gaunt and haunted looking. As he lay restlessly in his king sized bed, Jordan realised that was just what he was, haunted by his own immature mistakes.

The door suddenly swung open, causing Jordan to bolt up in his bed in surprise. Jason stood there for a moment, his jaw clenched in anger as he stared at his father murderously. Jordan looked at his son in bewilderment, his eyes wide as his heart slowed back to its normal pace.

"Jason what the hell? Why aren't you in school?" he said in annoyance.

"I had to come see you." his son replied simply, not moving from his spot in the doorway.

"And you couldn't wait till after 5pm ?" Jordan laughed in slight disbelief.

"Not for this, no." Jason said gravely as he shook his head. Jordan's eyebrows rose as he looked at Jason's serious expression.

"Emm..… okay, you know your Mom is going to kill you when she finds out you skipped all your classes after lunch". Jason shrugged as he walked with purpose into the room, dropping his backpack as he took a seat in the armchair opposite his fathers bed.

"I can handle it." he said nonchalantly "Plus she'll understand once I tell her why I bailed." Jordan couldn't help but notice the hostility in his sons posture as he stared at him unblinkingly. It was starting to make him uncomfortable.

"And why is it you bailed?" he asked quietly, dreading whatever reason was about to exit Jason's mouth.

"I know why you ended up in an E.R last night Dad." Jason said sulkily.

"Shit" Jordan exhaled loudly as he closed his eyes for a second in dread. This was just perfect.

* * *

Just a couple of blocks over, Angela and Rayanne were perusing the local deli for some olives for lunch. The process was a little slow on account of Rayanne's enlarged abdomen, which was edging ever closer to the size of an overblown beach ball.

"I've been thinking" Rayanne began as she tried a lightly spiced sample olive "when this kid is born, where are we going to put he or she in the apartment? I mean I'm sure bump can stay with myself and Brian in our room for a couple of months but…."

"You know subtlety really isn't your strong suit" Angela laughed as she picked up a large tube of hummus and dropped in their basket.

"Whatever do you mean?" Rayanne said innocently, giving Angela a smirk. Angela turned back towards her as she arched an eyebrow and smirked in return.

"Ray, if you need me and Jason to move back out, just say it. We can't all keep living in the same apartment forever" she said more seriously. Rayanne's smirk slowly disappeared as she looked down at the ground awkwardly.

"I wouldn't do that to you, plus as I've stated before, it is technically your apartment still." she said quietly.

"And I'd be more than happy to sell you it, as I've stated before many times" Angela said a little huffily, her ever present quick temper flaring for a second. Rayanne's sheepish expression didn't dissipate as she rose her eyes again to look at Angela.

"I know, but us living there was only meant to be temporary…..and well….Brian.." she trailed off. Angela looked at the every reddening cheeks of her friend with interest.

"He's found you a house" she said quietly with understanding. Rayanne simply nodded in response.

"Yeah he did, and it's beautiful….I mean , like perfect."

Angela's expression was unreadable as she looked back at Rayanne. Slowly a happy, lazy grin spread across her face.

"Good" she said with genuine happiness. Rayanne's eyebrows shot up as her worried grimace disappeared.

"You're not mad!" she said in surprise.

Angela laughed a little as laid her hand on Rayanne's arm.

"God no! Why would think that?"

"I don't know, its just, with you Mom now living in Long Island and you and Jordan…..I just don't want it to seem like we're abandoning you." Angela shook her head in disbelief.

"I'd never think that Graff, you and Brian are weeks away from having a kid and you need to have somewhere to call your own. You've no idea what's about to hit you" she grinned a little teasingly. Rayanne's face softened as a look of relief washed over her features. Sighing she turned back to one of the shelves and began to examine the stores selection of bread. Seeing one she liked, she tossed into the shared basket with a satisfied smirk.

"So ,you sure you'll be okay?" she said more seriously, looking at Angela once more with concern. Angela gave her an almost withering look as she rolled her eyes at her friend.

"C'mon Rayanne, it's not as if I didn't know this was coming. All things eventually come to an end, even the good stuff."

"I know ,but in light of everything that's changed recently." Rayanne started carefully. Angela scoffed loudly and turned away from her friend a little huffily.

"Rayanne, I'm fine. Stop worrying about me." she said coldly, taking their basket of produce up to the counter to pay.

Rayanne watched her with trepidation as she saw her best friend's shoulders tense up as she stood in from of the cashier. Her hands gripped the edge of the counter top as she tried to counteract whatever surge of emotion had overtaken her. Rayanne didn't know if it was anger or hurt, but one thing she was certain of was , Angela Chase was not coping as well as she was claiming. She knew for a fact she hadn't been sleeping well. Taking a deep breath and knowing what she was about to say was likely to infuriate her, Rayanne joined Angela by the cashier .

"You know it's not weak to admit you're still struggling a little." Rayanne said quietly. Angela's eye's fiery as she looked back at her. The glare softened though as a pained expression took over.

"It's been two months Rayanne, and I'm still as torn as I was when this all started. It's not supposed to still hurt so much" she whispered.

"Do you want my honest opinion Ange?" Rayanne asked softly.

Angela nodded, her eyes glassy as she waited for the answer.

"Jordan made a mistake, but you love him. The question is, do you love him enough to trust him again?" .

Her face became pensive as she thought about it.

"I don't know" she said quietly in response.

The sales assistant cleared her throat and looked between them uncomfortably as she handed back Angela's Visa card. Angela's cheeks went bright red as she caught the girl staring at her.

"Maybe we should talk about this some other time" she mumbled awkwardly, swiftly bundling the brown paper bag of food into her arms she turned quickly on her heel and walked brusquely to the exit.

Rayanne exhaled loudly in frustration as she watched her go, that was the closest she'd gotten to getting Angela to open up in weeks. She'd been pretty tight-lipped about what was going on in her head. Rayanne had of course seen her crying over the break up, but Angela had never really talked much during those times. Maybe it hurt it too much to say things out loud, like speaking about it made it real. Rayanne didn't know what to do, Angela's introversion was not going to help resolve the issue anytime soon. If she was being brutally honest, since the whole wedding palaver, she had time to reassess everything and had come to the conclusion that Angela was being a little unfair to Jordan. He really had done everything in good faith and had only lied because of his own insecurities. Truth be told, she had fully expected them be back together within a week or two. But it seemed like Angela had well and truly dug her heels in about it, they were over. She knew Angela wouldn't even answer the phone to him anymore and Rayanne almost felt sorry for him. Almost, because it was hard to sympathise with someone as immaturely stupid as Jordan. If even a tenth of the stories about his current behaviour in the gossip magazines were true, Jordan Catalano was seriously heading down the road of no return. Especially when it came to Angela.

As Rayanne exited the store after Angela, she nearly knocked herself over as she strode straight into her stationary friend. She gasp a little in pain as the breath rushed out of her lungs.

"Crap Rayanne I'm so sorry, are you alright?" Angela exclaimed in concern.

"I'm fine" she winced, gripping her swollen abdomen.

"You sure, I mean I hope that didn't rattle Bump too much" she said guiltily.

"Nah, Bump is fine" Rayanne returned with a pained smile. As she straightened up she gave Angela a wry smirk.

"I must say that for future reference, standing in the middle of sidewalk in front of a door, is not the best idea in the World".

"Sorry about that, I got distracted by a text Jason's school sent me." Angela said unhappily.

"Oh!" Rayanne said with interest "what did the little charmer do? Get caught in the boiler room? Flunk French again?"

"No" Angela said grimly "He's skipped school completely after 12.30. I just don't know why?"

"You're being oddly calm about this? I would of thought you'd be spitting blood with madness right about now" Rayanne said suspiciously.

"It's just not like him to skip several periods, especially seeing as Shop is his favourite class….." she replied distractedly.

"I wouldn't worry. It's probably nothing but juvenile rebellion, but if you're that worried, give him a call." Rayanne said nonchalantly, hoping Angela wouldn't be melodramatic about this and start panicking.

"Yeah you're probably right." she sighed, slipping her phone back into her purse "C'mon, lets go home and you can help me think of a cruel and unusual punishment for him."

Linking their arms together as they walked back towards the apartment, Rayanne grinned with glee.

"Oh goody, I love messing with your kid."

* * *

Father and son sat side by side on sun loungers on the patio as the late afternoon sun beat down upon them. In the bright light of the April sky shone upon them, Jason studied the pale profile of his fathers face. They'd been arguing non stop for the last few hours and it seemed the stress of the previous night was finally getting to Jordan. It was the first time in a long time Jason had had the opportunity to take a good look at the state of his Dad's appearance. The hard nights of drinking had left him with a slightly yellow tinge to his skin and dark circles under his eyes. Jason noted with concern the obvious weight loss from his face, as the sun cast deep shadows on the hollows of his cheeks. But it was the constant disconnected look in Jordan's eyes that scared him most. They were devoid of any hope.

Jason quickly broke off his pensive stare as Jordan caught his eye with slight suspicion.

"What?" Jordan said warily , glancing down at his wrapped up wound" Is my arm bleeding again?"

Jason shook his head vigorously "It's nothing". Jordan continued to gaze at him in uncertainty, not really believing him. Shrugging tiredly, Jordan reached into his pants pocket and took out a pack of cigarettes and lighter. Taking a deep drag out of the lit cigarette, he seemed to relax more as he settled in against the cushioned seat. Jason pursed his lips in disapproval as he watched the action out of the corner of his eye.

"I thought you said you'd quit them again" he said reproachfully after a beat, motioning to the offending cigarette with a frown. Chuckling lightly, Jordan just smirked blithely.

"Why, are you concerned your old man's gonna keel over or something" he said jokingly.

"No! I just don't understand why you're doing this to yourself when you hadn't smoked in nearly a year and now….well, now you're worse than Shane" Jason replied sorely. Jordan shrugged again as he blew out a long plume of smoke into the warm Spring air.

"I just need it" he said quietly. Jason simply shook his head in annoyance.

"Yeah, just like you need the booze" he hissed under his breath. Jordan's eyes flashed angrily at him for a second as he caught the whisper. He quickly swallowed the urgent impulse to berate Jason for his disrespectfulness. Jordan couldn't afford to potentially drive his son away, he kind of had a point.

"It takes the edge off the daily grind okay! It's not as if I'm shooting up heroin kid, so get off my back" Jordan said gruffly. Jason's jaw clenched in agitation as he looked off into the distance as the skyscrapers a couple of blocks south.

"Unbelievable" he muttered bitterly.

Jordan's frown deepened as he flicked the last of his still smouldering cigarettes but onto the flagstones.

"What was that Jay?" he said in a low and hostile tone " What's your problem now?".

"You are!" Jason shouted suddenly, throwing his hands up into the air with frustration.

"What did I do?" Jordan shouted back with equal irritation.

"Emmm lets see, got in a bar fight for one." Jason snapped. Jordan rolled his eyes in response.

"Oh come on, that was a drunken mistake."

"To add to the list of things you've done this month like drunk dialling my principle and throwing up at my JV baseball game, not to mention hitting on Davies recently widowed Mom at the Spring social and all that stupid crap the paparazzi keep catching you doing!" Jason spluttered in agitation.

Jordan's cheeks grew red in shame.

"Okay, so maybe I've been partying a little too hard lately…."

"That's not partying too hard Dad, that's self-destructing. And I can't keep watching you do this to yourself" Jason said with growing upset . Jordan looked at him with genuine remorse.

"I'm sorry Jay. I just can't seem to…readjust." he said quietly. Jason shook his head once more.

"I know Mom broke your heart, but you're not the only one that's grieving." he said more gently "She's hurting too, but this…..implosion, isn't going to help you get her back."

Jordan could feel that old familiar ache begin to build in his chest, that sense of desperation and loss.

"I know" he said sadly. A silence fell between them as the noise of the ever present police sirens rang shrilly from the streets below.

After a couple of minutes, Jason began to grow restless. With his initial concerns having been placated, he felt the sudden urge to go home. He would have a lot of explaining to do when he saw his mother, no doubt his school had contacted her over his blatant absence from class. Plus, if the truth be told, he didn't really feel like being in his fathers company much at that moment. Clearing his throat to catch Jordan's attention, he sat up a little in the chair.

"Listen, I gotta go. Mom's probably plotting my murder at this moment and I guess its time to diffuse the situation."

Jordan merely nodded in response, he just didn't have any more energy to talk. Jason rose to his feet, still looking at his father guardedly.

"So….yeah" he began awkwardly, not really wanting end things on a negative note "Are still coming to my game on Saturday?". Jordan's eyes brightened a little as a small smile wiped away his previous grimace.

"Sure, I wouldn't miss it." he replied with genuine pride. Jason grinned for a second in delight.

"Good, so I'll see you Saturday night for nachos and an Xbox marathon too."

Jordan chuckled, secretly relieved that Jason was trying to regain some normalcy to their relationship.

"Of course, it's our weekly routine." Jordan smirked. Jason smiled once more, but didn't add anything further. Patting his father on the shoulder he started to make his way back into the apartment to go home.

"I guess I'll see around." he said amiably.

"See ya" Jordan said quietly, his mood starting to dip a little. Shane had left not long after Jason had stormed in and wasn't likely to come back today, so now he was well and truly alone again. God did he miss his family.

* * *

When Jason finally did arrive home, he was confused to find his mother sitting at the breakfast bar in a clear state of serenity. Her calmness really unnerved him. Shouting, cursing and words of disappointment he could handle, complete nonchalance put him on the defensive. She was up to something.

"Hi" he said warily, dropping his backpack on the floor beside the kitchen table. Angela simply smiled at him distractedly in response before going back to the iPhone in her hands. Jason continued to watch her suspiciously as he walked to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of juice. Her lack of concern was really starting alarm him.

"So…how was your day?" he said carefully, taking a long gulp out of his drink as he watched his mothers reaction with interest.

"Fine" she said evenly, looking at him for a second before her eyes went once more to her cell phone. Jason frowned in confusion at her continued inaction. What was going on?

"Cool…..eh….I'm going to go to my room and do some home work ." he said flatly as he picked back up his back pack. He was halfway out of the room when his mother suddenly spoke.

"I doubt you have all that much to do considering you didn't go to class all afternoon".

Angela's looked at him pointedly as he turned and Jason sighed as he backtracked towards her.

"I can explain." he said sincerely. Angela's once serene expression was now replaced with a more stern look, her eyes hard and mistrustful as she stared back at him.

"Please do!"

Despite his initial reservations over her nonchalance, he was definitely not enjoying the contained fury that was facing him now. How could someone go from 0 to rage in less than two seconds, sometimes he really didn't understand his mother.

"Look, something happened to someone I know and I had to go see if they were okay" he said honestly, proud that in his slight panic he hadn't exposed his fathers 'accident'. Angela studied his face for any signs of falsehood, she exhaled loudly as she saw he was telling some semblance of the truth. But he wasn't getting off that easy.

"Jason, the school told me that you were the only one out of your entire grade with an unaccounted absence. Therefore, almost everyone you knew was in that building. And neither Rayanne or myself were in trouble. So who did you go see?" she said seriously .

Jason gulped, feeling suddenly very awkward. His mother had always been able to cut through any bullshit story he'd tried to weave, so there was no way he was going to get away with being vague about what happened.

"I went to see Jordan." he said quietly, his eyes rooted to the checker tile pattern on the floor. Angela shook her head as dread washed over her, she'd been afraid this had something to do with Jordan. Her anger lessened a little as she saw her son's genuine discomfort and guilt. Whatever it was that Jordan had done, Jason had felt it necessary to risk a possible suspension to fix it.

"What happened?" she said more sweetly, trying to catch his eye.

Finally lifting his gaze, his face was awash with mixed emotion. Yet he had to tell her everything, his father would understand.

"Dad got into a bar fight last night and ended up in hospital. He's a little bruised in the face and has a nasty gash on his arm, but he's fine now" he mumbled quickly. Angela's face drained of colour as she took in what he'd said.

"Jordan was in a fight." she exclaimed. Jason nodded solemnly in reply.

"But why? What would possess him to do something so asinine." she spluttered . Jason paused before he answered, conscious he was about to open one hell of a can of worms.

"He was defending you." he replied simply.

Angela's cheeks paled further as she looked at him with wide, shocked eyes.

"Some guys made some snide remarks about you and Dad took offence." Jason added flatly, watching his mother carefully as an almost guilty expression flitted across her features.

"He shouldn't have done that. It wasn't worth the price." she said quietly, her gaze falling to the coffee cup in front of her hands as she avoided Jason's watchful eyes.

"Yeah well….he seemed to think it was" Jason replied more harshly than he'd intended. Frankly he was fed up of pussy-footing around issues when it came to his parents. Life had to move on.

"So….As you can probably guess in light of this 'fun' afternoon I'm a little tired. If you want me I'll be in my room" Jason said humourlessly.

"Wait" Angela said suddenly, rising to her feet "Is he okay?"

Jason's eyes were flat as he stared back at her.

"You broke his heart, what do you think?" he said quietly. Another rush of hurt and remorse flooded her chest as she looked back at her son in shame.

"I guess not" she replied dejectedly. They stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before Jason trudged out of the room without another word. Angela sighed as she watched him go and she wondered why she was letting this saga continue. Why was it she couldn't let things go? There was no doubt that she still loved Jordan fiercely, hence why it hurt her so much to think of him in pain, especially when she knew she was wholly responsible for it. Yet something always seemed to stop her from going back to him despite every pang of shame and guilt she felt as a result. One thing was for certain though, she really needed to talk to Jordan.

* * *

The next day when Angela woke up ,that lingering feeling of dread and regret seemed to radiate from every pore in her body. She tried to shake it as best she could ,but the last bit of bilious anger would not dissipate much to her chagrin. She conceded that she's just have to live with it for the moment. The day was bright and fresh as she rose out of bed, a welcome positive note to the start of her day. By the time she'd shuffled down to the kitchen, it was clear Jason had already left for school. Angele sighed in minor annoyance at this misfortune, she'd wanted to talk with him before he left, reassure him that she fully intended to talk to the vice-principal to rescind his week long detention in lieu of the special circumstances . Not that Jason would really care, it was clear he was more concerned about his father than anything else. Maybe that should be her first port of call for the day? To finally confront Jordan about his currently erratic behaviour, yet on second thought, she'd rather tackle the school policy enforcers. Angela didn't particularly like going to Jason's school, it had that odd mixed smell of musty paper and clinically clean bleach that schools always seemed to have. It made her reminisce about a time in her life that had not always been a happy one. Granted her high school years had not been the worst, but it tumultuous enough for her to think it wise not to reflect too deeply upon it all. Because inevitably she'd begin to think about Jordan and right now she couldn't think of him in such muddled and rose-tinted memories. It made things even harder.

A couple of hours later she stood outside Mr Belhams office with trepidation. He wasn't known as being the most understanding of men. Angela quietly hoped he wouldn't think her foolish for wanting to let Jason off the hook, they had a rigid policy about students missing classes. Angela was optimistic she could at least convince him to reduce the sentence by a week or two. But then again, as she'd realised before ,the vice-principal was not exactly a very empathetic person. It wasn't as if she could expect anything different from a 60 year old man, they got cranky easier. But it was to Angela's delighted surprise when the office door opened, she greeted by the relatively young face of Mr Bryant, Jason's former homeroom teacher.

"Hello Ms Chase, sorry for keeping you waiting." he said amiably opening up the door wider to welcome her in.

"That's no problem" she replied a little hazily, confused as to what was going on. Following him into the small office, she frowned visibly. Mr Bryant smiled as he saw this.

"Mr Belham has unfortunately been called away for a couple of days on family matters, so I'm filling in till he comes back" he said with a knowing and almost flirtatious smirk. Angela's cheeks flushed for a second at her own transparency. She really needed to work on being more subtle about things in formal situations. She smiled weakly before nodding self-consciously as she sat down in the seat opposite him. Laying his hands on the desk in front of him, he fixed her another friendly smile.

"So long time no see , how can I help you today?" he said simply.

Clearing her throat uncomfortably she took a deep breath before beginning.

"I want to talk to you about Jason's punishment for skipping school yesterday." she said evenly. Mr Bryant's smile faltered a second as he dropped his eyes.

"I see" he replied more seriously.

"Don't get me wrong, I completely agree that their needs to consequences to his actions but…..is it possible to reassess the severity of it" she said quickly, looking at the teacher pleadingly. Mr Bryant sighed as he clasped his hands together on the desk.

"You know we have a very strict code on behaviour here, Jason would have been aware of the repercussions when he left the premise yesterday." he said sombrely .

"And I understand you have to treat every kid the same under the rules of the school, but Jason doesn't really ever challenge them . He's a good kid and he only did what he did yesterday for good reason. All I'm asking is for you to reduce the sentence a little."

Mr. Bryant looked at her carefully for a second.

"We would be willing to do so only in exceptional circumstances."

Angela gave him a watery smile with relief.

"That's the only reason I'm here arguing for him to be honest " she said sardonically "If there wasn't a legitimate reason I would have just let him rot". George Bryant's face cracked into a conspiratorial smirk.

"I guessed as much." he said more lightly . He continued to look at her expectantly as he patiently waited for her to continue.

"So I guess you want an explanation" she said with a half grin.

"I hate to pry but…." Mr Bryant said uneasily. Angela shrugged before sighing unhappily.

"His father had an unfortunate accident and Jason, upon learning this fact, went to see if he was okay. While I concede he probably should have done this after school, the shock made him act rashly." she said simply.

Mr. Bryant began to look uncomfortable, realising that maybe he should have allowed her to defend her son without revealing private matters. Especially when he knew more than he let on, he had seen the gossip sites and he was sure whatever accident Jordan Catalano had, it had been utterly self-inflicted. He still felt a little bad for him though, he was a nice guy.

"I hope Mr Catalano is okay." he said with genuine concern.

Angela gave him a tight smile, hoping the teacher didn't see the strain in her face.

"He'll be fine" she said coolly. Mr. Bryant's discomfort increased as he looked at her guarded stare, it obviously time to change the subject.

"Ehmmm…I'll talk to Principal Michels this afternoon about Jason's punishment. We won't suspend him, but he'll have to do two weeks detention."

Angela's full smile returned as she beamed at him in relieved thanks.

"That's fine. I'll make sure he doesn't miss one minute of it." she said eagerly. Mr Bryant couldn't help but laugh at her earnestness.

"Now, is there anything else I can help you with?" he said with a chuckle.

"No, I think that just about covers it" Angela beamed, rising to her feet

"Thank you Mr Bryant."

He watched her carefully as she prepared to leave, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically gloomy to be seeing her go so soon.

"I hope you don't consider me too forward, but I'd really like to ask you a question Angela" he said abruptly, the use of her first name startling Angela to a halt. She blinked her eyes rapidly, confusion filling her mind.

"Sure….." she said quietly with trepidation, sitting back down in the chair opposite him with uncertainty as she wondered where this was going.

"So….." he began "I guess you'd like me to get to the point"

* * *

The air was warm and pleasant as Angela wandered up the block in a slight daze. The afternoon had not gone exactly how she'd envisioned and now she was struggling to concentrate on reality. The last 24 hours had been a surprising and confusing experience, and the trauma was only just starting.

Her breath caught in her throat as she realized she'd walked all the way to Jordan's building without thinking. Clearly in this state of full disclosure life was giving her today, her unconscious mind wanted to resolve every issue all at once. Before she could psyche herself out of going through with it, her feet had carried her into the lobby. Daniel the doorman gave her a familiar, friendly smile.

"Hello Miss Chase, it's been too long since I've seen you last."

"Hello Daniel, it's nice to see you. How's your family?" she replied sweetly.

"They're good" he said happily. They continued to smile at one another for a moment before Daniel motioned to the internal telephone.

"Would you like me to call up to Mr. Catalano so he knows you're here?"

Angela hesitated before answering. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced Jordan would probably refuse her entry to the apartment.

"No that's okay" she said evenly, walking toward the elevator. "It's probably better if I surprise him". Daniel looked at her for a moment as if he was going to protest, but the older man quickly shut his mouth.

"As you wish Ma'am." he said more formally watching the elevator doors shut slowly in front of her.

It was the complete dank silence of the apartment that struck Angela first. She had never seen the place so quiet in all the months she'd lived there, so hushed was the atmosphere that she was convinced Jordan wasn't even home. It wasn't until she heard the tell-tale sound of his distant footsteps in the music room above that she was certain he was there. What surprised her further was the almost perfect state of the kitchen. The housekeeper usually came 3 days a week, but even still the room was too immaculate to be normal. It was clear Jordan hadn't been eating much by her estimations.

As she looked around the familiar room at the cream table and chairs, the black marble countertops and large open windows looking out onto the city, a pang of nostalgia stung her. She hated to admit it, but being here was like being home. Angela couldn't help the rush of memories that flooded her mind as she stood there sadly. Sunday mornings had always been her favourite part of the week. Jordan would make her and Jason pancakes, this little smirk on his post-coital glowing cheeks as he cooked. They were never that great, but she hadn't cared. Even when pancakes were bad, they were still good and even better appreciated when prepared with love and effort. It was those simple moments of contentment she missed most. Shaking the daydream away she made her way to the stairs without a second glance.

Her heart leaped into her mouth as she reached the final step, suddenly aware that this was the first time she'd seen Jordan in weeks. To say she was nervous was an understatement. Breathing deeply to calm her nerves, she reached out to the door handle, her hands shaking as her fingers wrapped around the cold metal. Taking one more deep, long breath she pulled down on the lever and pushed the door open. Inside Jordan sat with his back to her at the small electronic piano she'd bought him for his birthday. He was busy at work at the keys, too absorbed in playing basic chords upon it to even notice her presence. Watching his hands as he played the simple shapes on the ivory coloured keys, she smiled despite herself as she realised it was the chord progression she'd taught him. The root of any good popular song ;A minor, F, C and G. Angela nearly yelped as he suddenly started singing. Her fright was quickly replaced with anguish as she immediately recognised the song, it was one that would forever be imprinted in her mind. Always playing on Jordan's car radio in memories of the night he'd found her drunk and alone in that playground, the night she'd lost her virginity to him, the night before she'd left him all alone and broken. It was just one of those songs she'd always associated with them, good or bad, alone or together. Fate had a cruel sense of humour it seemed.

His voice was quiet and contemplative as he sang, like he meant every word. Angela knew this wasn't just singing for him, it was a confession of sorts.

"_See the stone set in your eyes_

_See the thorn twist in your side_

_I wait for you_

_Sleight of hand and twist of fate_

_On a bed of nails she makes me wait_

_And I wait without you_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_Through the storm we reach the shore_

_You give it all but I want more_

_And I'm waiting for you_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you"_

Jordan could feel someone watching him , somehow he knew it was her burning stares into his back. He thought about turning to greet her, but decided nothing he would say to her would sound better than the song lyrics as they rolled of his tongue. Music to him was like what feelings sounded like and he had no better way to communicate his pain than this.

_"And you give yourself away_

_And you give yourself away_

_And you give_

_And you give_

_And you give yourself away_

_My hands are tied_

_My body bruised, she's got me with_

_Nothing to win and Nothing left to lose_

_And you give yourself away_

_And you give yourself away_

_And you give_

_And you give_

_And you give yourself away_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_With or without you_

_I can't live_

_With or without you_

_With or without you"_

There was a lingering silence in the room as Jordan's shoulders suddenly slumped in apparent exhaustion. He stared as the piano keys wondering if she'd speak first, quietly hoping she would. He'd always hated awkward silences. Across the room Angela stood motionless, still transfixed in a bubble of wonder from his raw performance. She was unsure what to do, scared he'd be angry when she revealed herself and he knew she watched his private expression of anguish in secret. Angela was just about to slink silently back out the door when Jordan suddenly spoke.

"So I guess Jason told you what happened." he said blankly, slowly turning in his stool as he fixed her with a defensive stare. Angela looked at him sheepishly, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward at being caught red handed.

"Yeah he did" she said quietly, her eyes downcast in sudden self-consciousness. Jordan scratched at his head with his good hand as he waited for her to say something more substantial. Unwillingly to speak unless it was absolutely necessary. Thankfully for him, Angela finally got up the nerve to talk again.

"I just had to check for myself you were okay." she said kindly, her eyes finally meeting his, a look of intense guilt and sympathy in her gaze. Her heart thrummed in her chest as she looked upon the face of her former paramour for the first time in nearly two months. From what she could tell ,he hadn't washed or shaved in a couple of days, . Let alone slept judging by the black bags under his eyes. Jordan looked awful. Like the spark had gone right out of him, and it was all her fault. Her gaze dropped down to his thickly bandaged forearm, the once starched white cotton had a brownish tinge to it from the small patches of dried blood beneath . Jordan covered his arm with the sleeve of his shirt as he caught her staring, his cheeks reddening in shame.

"I'm fine." he said sulkily, turning back to the piano with a scowl. Angela stood behind him for a second in uncertainty. Her first instinct had been to hug him tight to her body, hold him until whatever demon that made him do these things to himself shrivelled and died. But she couldn't do that, it crossed so many boundaries that she herself had set between them. That didn't mean she could let him believe that she didn't care about him.

"No you're not" she said more forcefully, suddenly so close behind him Jordan shivered because of her proximity. He didn't turn back around despite this and glared angrily at the black and white keys in front of him.

"Yeah well ,you lost the right to care about my welfare 2 months ago, so just go." he said bitterly. Angela exhaled angrily, crossing her arms against her chest petulantly.

"No" she said firmly. It was now Jordan's turn to sigh in annoyance, slowly pivoting on the stool once more to look up at her with fiery blue eyes.

"Leave Angela" he growled.

"No! Not until we talk about this" Angela replied sternly, staring him down.

"Fine, I'll leave then." he retorted childishly jumping to his feet. Angela step into his path as he tried to walk passed her . He glared even more angrily at her as they stood toe to toe, angry bursts of breath hitting each other in the face. This was not going to end well with two ornery people such as themselves.

"Jordan, we have to talk about this" she said with dogged determination.

"Why" he spat back "It's not as if it'll make a difference."

Angela's pupils narrowed as she continued to glare back at him, her jaw tightening as her frustration grew. Jordan moved again to try to leave the room and she sidestepped once more to block his way. Jordan rolled his eyes and grunted in annoyance.

"Oh my God, what is your problem?" he shouted. Angela's widened in surprise as she looked at him in disbelief.

"What is my problem? My problem is this spiral of self- destruction you've been on lately, my problem is that I can't stand by and watch you destroy yourself because I care about what happens to you." she shouted back, throwing her hands into the air. Jordan continued to glare at her, his eyes boring into hers with unfaltering malice. Angela's own stare didn't lessen one whit as she matched him strength for strength.

They stood there for the longest time in complete silence in this battle of wills, neither combatant giving one inch. Yet despite his best efforts, Jordan could feel his resistance waning, his anger subsiding within. It just felt too good be in her company again, to see her sweet face and to smell the familiar scent of her skin. It was soothing to his soul. Even as he glowered at her, he couldn't help but notice the genuine strain in her face, the worry lines on her forehead. Angela really did care about him and somewhere deep inside him there bloomed a small shoot of hope for the future. She was standing literally 6 inches in front of his face, trying to reason with him just to talk to her. Maybe he could manage to do that at least.

Jordan sighed heavily before dropping his eyes and walking backwards to sit on the stool again.

"Fine, you want to talk, lets talk?" he said coldly, crossing his arms across his chest. Angela's eyes widened in shock, not believing he'd relented so quickly. She blinked rapidly in a slight daze before unfolding her arms and walking to one of the armchairs in the corner of the room . Dragging it across to face Jordan, she sat down and cleared her throat uneasily. She opened her mouth to speak, but was unable to find the right words to begin.

This was harder than she thought. Jordan was still just staring at her, his gaze thankfully though was now calmer. Taking a breath Angela just said the first thing that popped into her head, anxious to begin the conversation before Jordan changed his mind again.

"So….I guess I better starting talk then" she said sheepishly, leaning forward in the chair.

"That would be the idea yeah" Jordan retorted sarcastically.

"Look, I know what's been going on Jordan, I know you're not alright." she said sadly . Jordan laughed resentfully as he shook his head.

"You are a writer, you should know you shouldn't believe everything you read in the media."

"It's not from what I see in the gossip pages, or blog posts, It's what I overhear from Jason, or the intermittent calls I get from Shane ordering me to get back to together with you. It's seeing you like this" she said more desperately, gesturing to his arm and face "You're clearly not okay". Jordan's face darkened as he listened, enraged Shane had been secretly interfering in his life. He ran his fingers over the raised bumps of his stitches under the bandage, the slight sting comforting him a little.

"Fine, I'm not. But how did you expect me to be after you left?" he said sourly. Angela looked back at him in obvious pain. It was clear to him she felt responsible for his predicament.

"God Jordan ,not damaging yourself over me. "she replied worriedly.

"I'm not 'damaging' myself ." Jordan growled, scowling angrily.

"Then what the hell do you call this, huh! Look at yourself Jordan, you look like you haven't eaten in days and lets not ignore the fact you landed in the hospital 2 days ago!" she exclaimed. Jordan sighed angrily, as he ran his hand through his hair.

"That was…just a mistake." he said quietly, avoiding her probing gaze.

Silence fell between them once more as they both were lost in angry thought, looking everywhere around the room but at each other.

"We done here?" Jordan said unemotionally after a few minutes, finally looking at her again. Angela's eyes narrowed at him in aggravation.

"No Catalano we're not." she said huffily. Jordan rolled his eyes and sat back against the piano tapping his foot impatiently.

"Why? You got your answers." he glowered.

"Like hell I did." she snapped back.

"God, what do you want from me?" he shouted, suddenly bolting forward.

"I want you to stop hurting yourself Jordan, to start moving on with your life ,because this, what you're doing now, just isn't healthy" she said sternly.

"What, so you can stop feeling guilty about causing this?" Jordan said nastily. Angela's face crumpled as the barb cut her deep.

"I just want you to be happy Jordan." she replied dejectedly. The hurt in her eyes immediately made him feel remorseful for what he'd said. He still loved so much he couldn't upset her like that. There had been a time that lashing out would have made him feel a little better, now all it did was make him feel like monster.

"I can't, not without you." he replied with equal despair. Angela's breath caught in her throat at his honest expression of desperation. In the not so distant past such an admission would have been all she'd wished for, now…..things were different.

"Jordan…" she began solemnly, dreading what she was about to do " I can't be your excuse for not living a full life. We were great together, but we can't be that anymore. It just never works out."

Jordan felt the little sapling of hope that had bloomed in his heart wither and start to die as he digested what she'd said.

"So you're just going to give up on this?" he asked woundedly .

"I think I have to" she said hopelessly " Look at our history sweetie, we can never keep it stable long enough to have a proper relationship. One of us invariably does something to fuck it up somehow, whether its cheating, jealousy, lies or stupid decisions."

Jordan's eyes widened as he looked at her in incredulity.

"That's life Ange, sometimes it sucks but you have to keep fighting passed all the shit for the things you love. It takes work." he spluttered in frustration. She looked him thoughtfully, seriously considering everything he'd said. Jordan had a point, it was pathetic for her to give to easily. So why was she? What was she waiting for? Sitting forward in her chair, she surprised him by clasping his hands between hers and running her thumbs over his knuckles. The small act of affection made his heart start to beat a little faster, that dying hope in soul suddenly finding strength again.

"Jordan it kills me to do this, to be responsible for hurting you this much ,but I can't be with you until I can trust you again. I wish I could. So I think, its best if we both try to move on". Looking deep in his eyes, Angela forced herself to say the words she knew may hurt him beyond repair.

"Mr. Bryant, Jason's former home room teacher asked me out on a date today…and I said yes."

Jordan's optimism deflated as heard this. He pulled his hands out from her grasp, as he stared off into space sullenly.

"Fine, you want my blessing to move on. Do what the fuck you want?" he bit back. Angela looked at him miserably, wishing there was a way to make this all right. She just couldn't find the right answer at the moment.

"I didn't come here to get your blessing, I came here to give you some closure. I want you to be able to live your life again, to stop punishing yourself, because all this isn't just about what happened in Seneca Falls. I'm to blame as well for this implosion" she said sadly, catching his hand again. He looked at her again, this lost look in his eyes. Yet his hope continued to grow as he gazed deeply into the endless pools of green that lay in her eyes, for even as she said these words of goodbye to him, he could see she really didn't want to live separate lives. Jordan knew he had to keep trying.

Jordan breathed in deep as he turned his hand in hers and intertwined his fingers in hers, kissing the back of her hand with a sad smile.

"Now who's punishing themselves to harshly" he said almost flirtatiously.

Angela smiled gently back at him and for a moment it was like old times, simple and perfect. In that moment, they only saw the present and the complications of the past slipped away. Jordan began to inch closer to her and Angela was powerless to stop him, caught up in her own repressed feelings suddenly rushing forward to think clearly.

"Can I ask you something?" he mumbled quietly , his large eyes looking intently at her through his long lashes.

"Yes" she replied hoarsely, nodding with added purpose.

"Do you still love me?" he asked awkwardly, clearly feeling incredibly unsure of her answer. Angela smiled a little.

"So much ,sometimes it hurts." she replied honestly. Jordan's eyes shined with happiness as he heard this, further encouraged to venture on. She knew he was going to kiss her despite everything she'd said to the contrary about them being better apart, and yet she didn't care. She licked her lip in anticipation as he stopped just in front of her face, his warm breath making her shiver a little. Jordan's spirit lifted as he watched her pupils dilate, a sure fire sign she wanted him to close the gap between them. His raised his left hand to her face and brush her bangs away from her eyes. His hand dropped to her chin as he cupped her jaw, readying himself to make his final move.

Unfortunately Angela's phone suddenly start to ring shrilly in her purse and the spell was broken. Reluctantly Angela let go of his hand and gently pushed him away from her, conscious that letting him get too close was not going to help either of them. Clearing her throat she spoke in a low voice as she rose from the chair.

"I think it would be better if go now"

Jordan's face fell with rejection, his guard leaping back up as his scowl returned.

"Go then" he said sullenly. Adjusting the strap of her purse on her shoulder she looked down at him anxiously. Scared that her latest rejection of him would just take them back to the start again. Taking a deep breath, she decide to lay all her cards on the table. Screw whatever rational plan she'd made before coming here.

"Look you want me to be honest?" she said seriously, her face growing red as she felt unexpectedly self-conscious. Jordan's eye widened as he nodded his head slowly.

"Despite everything I just said about us not working and us needing to move on, it's a lie….….The truth is….I don't want to move on, I just thought it would easier for to have a clean break then wait for me to decide what to do and….. what I really think is maybe we just need some time apart so I can think clearly about….us" she rambled quickly and Jordan's face brightened considerably as he realised what she was implying.

"So you're saying there's still a chance ?" he said hopefully.

"Maybe" she replied seriously before a slight smirk graced her mouth "…..but only if you start showering again, because dude, you stink." she teased and Jordan's face broke out into the first real full smile she'd seen from him in months. To Jordan's great delight Angela's smirk shifted into that beaming smile he'd be daydreaming about for weeks and the shoots of hope for them grew into tangible chances.

"What do you need me to do, beyond basic grooming of course?" he said with a slight smile still on his lips .

"I'm not going to give any guarantee's , but if you're serious…..You have to stop getting drunk and doing stupid things" she said earnestly "You can't call me or see me, like, at all, for a month unless its an emergency. We both need a complete space from all this insanity. And whatever you do, don't write me a letter, it backfired the last time okay."

Jordan smirked for a second before nodding.

" I can do that".

Angela nodded too in response, feeling a little awkward as she stood there rooted to the spot. She had to leave before her resolve broke again. A respite would be good now they were back on reasonably friendly terms. Or so tried to convince herself.

"Good…well I'm going to go now, So…" she trailed off, looking toward the door. Angela was just about to leave when Jordan suddenly caught her arm gently. Her breath hitched as Jordan stepped in close to her all of a sudden.

"Wait here for a second, I want to give you something." he said softly, looking down at her beseechingly.

Angela gulped visibly as she nodded in acknowledgement and he left the room with a quick wink. Angela groaned internally as she cursed herself for her own transparency. She hated when she was so obvious about his affect on her, especially now.

'Get yourself together Chase' she whispered under her breath.

When Jordan returned he had a small wrapped present in his hands.

"I got this just before Rickie's wedding, it was supposed to be for your birthday, which I know is tomorrow….I was going to give it to Jason for you, but since your here…." he said sweetly, handing her the box as he dropped his gaze in embarrassment. Angela felt a rush of love for him as saw the effort he'd gone to. Opening it carefully, her heart did further flips as the paper ripped back to reveal a beautifully framed picture of them, Rayanne and Rickie from around when they'd dated as kids. Shane was in the background with Robbie looking broody, while everyone else was sitting in the back of Red with the top down .All pulling stupidly ridiculous faces. Underneath there was an inscription engraved on the wooden frame, with the words:

'_Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.'_

"Where did you get this picture?" she said with wonder.

"It was in a box of Tino's stuff when the cleared out his house after funeral two years ago. His sister Lu found and gave it to me a couple of months ago….I just thought you'd like it" he said quietly. Angela's smile widened as she looked down at it, reminiscing of a simpler time.

"I love it." she said with unadulterated happiness.

"Good" Jordan said contentedly. Angela walked right up to him and kissed his cheek tenderly, not daring to venture to his mouth lest it lead somewhere more intimate.

"Thank you Jordan" she said sweetly.

"You're welcome Ange, happy birthday." he said sincerely, his skin burning from where she'd touched him. Giving him one more beaming smile, she left the room without another word, clutching her present to her chest like a precious prize. Jordan stood there for a moment in complete state of bewilderment, not sure what had happened in the last hour was actually real.

"I do believe I'm back in the game" he said to himself with smile, whistling tunefully as he practically skipped to the bathroom to uphold the first part of the deal.

* * *

When Angela woke up the next morning after the best sleep she'd had in weeks, her initial satisfaction was suddenly interrupted by an urgent need to vomit.

"Oh God, not again" she cried out as she raced to the toilet bowl. The bilious liquid rushed past her teeth as she continued to retch uncontrollably .

'Well this is a great way to start your birthday' she thought to herself. She was a little concerned this was the sixth time in a two weeks that she'd thrown up and then mysteriously felt fine later an hour later. She was almost beginning to think the worst, you know, that she was…..pregnant. Yet that was impossible, she'd had her period last month and was due to start again on Monday. But then again, her last menses had been lighter and shorter than usual and women could bleed a little during pregnancy. She immediately pushed the errant thought out of her mind, it was preposterous!

'Angela Chase you are being ridiculous, it's only a stomach virus you haven't quite shaken' she chastised herself. The waves of nausea calmed and she slumped down onto the cold tile floor, relief coming in every deepened breath she took. Her thoughts wandered again to her growing suspicions over her condition. Looking down at her abdomen, she studied it carefully as she ran her hands over it, trying to ascertain whether it had become rounder or more protruded.

"This is stupid. I am not pregnant with Jordan Catalano's child….again" she exclaimed as she rose to her feet with conviction. Her recovery was short lived as another sudden rush of queasiness overran her senses and she hung over the porcelain bowl as her stomach contents exit through her mouth. She decided on reflection , maybe it wouldn't hurt to at least take a test to be sure.

* * *

It was close to 6 pm as Rayanne Graff sat uncomfortably on her couch, a long forgotten plate of lasagne on the table in front of her. The TV show she was watching wasn't really holding her attention, but it was enough of a distraction to take the edge off the irregular pains she kept having. They had been plaguing her since the day before ,after her little collision with Angela outside the deli. Rayanne was slightly concerned considering she now 8 month pregnant, but she was trying to stay sensible about it. The likelihood was it was nothing to worry about, at worst maybe Prodromal Labour contractions. Hence why she hadn't told Brian about her discomfort, he'd only overreact and panic and she definitely didn't want that. It would be humiliating. That being said, she nervous to admit it, but the pain was getting a little worse. At all times it was more intense than the Braxton Hicks she'd had a couple of weeks earlier and certainly more centralised than before. She resolved to tell either Angela or Brian about when they got home, even so they were merely aware of the potential situation. The throbbing was starting to subside a little just as the door bell rang . Cursing whoever was disturbing her time alone, she struggled to her feet . Shuffling across the carpeted floor , a quick stabbing twinge cut her in the abdomen that made her hiss in pain. She categorically had to tell someone about this soon.

To her great surprise, it was Jordan Catalano she found standing on her doorstep when she opened the door. Furthermore, a very clean and normal looking Jordan Catalano . Obviously Angela's talk with him had done them both some good.

"Hey Catalano, what are you doing here? I thought Angela told you to stay away for a while?" she said in confusion.

"She did" Jordan said with a wry smile "I'm just here to pick up something for Jason he wants me to give to Shane from Joey, it's all very complicated."

Rayanne gave him a smirk as she watched him look into the apartment for a second with apprehension.

"She's not here, so you're safe" she said teasingly, giving him a knowing look as she opened the door wider and gestured for him to come in . Jordan smirked a little as he laughed with slight embarrassment.

"I'll be just a second, then I'll be out of your way." he said politely, stepping inside.

"It's fine" she said nonchalantly "I'm not doing anything important."

"How you doing Graff, getting huge I see." he joked. Rayanne playfully smacked him on the back of the head.

"That's rich coming from the guy that until yesterday looked like a homeless meth head ." she retorted good-humouredly.

"I see you haven't lost your sense of humour in your transformation into manatee." he said with a grin. Rayanne shot him a withering look as she swiped at him again half-heartedly, missing him by a foot as he jumped back.

"Just get your butt up those stairs before this manatee crushes you, you big idiot." she said with feigned offence. As he bolted up the stairs, a rush of intense pressure seized up her whole lower abdomen. She gripped on a nearby chair as the pain spread upwards into her back and down into her groin, grunting as she tried to breath through the hammering discomfort.

This time the throbbing continued longer than before, rolling on and on until she was nearly bent double. Rayanne cried out as the pulsations reached their peak and levelled out again.

"Fuck! Rayanne are you okay?" Jordan said with alarm, his face pale with worry as he reached her.

"Yep, I'm fine. I'm sure its just indigestion." she said tightly as the previous agony passed.

"I don't know a lot about pregnant women, but that sure as hell didn't look like indigestion to me." Jordan said firmly "I think you need to go to the hospital."

"Jesus Catalano, I'm fine. Just go home okay?" she said huffily. Jordan watched her carefully, contemplating whether or not to listen to her.

"Jordan, seriously I'm fi…" Rayanne stopped mid sentence as another sudden kick hit her stomach area and she cried out loudly. There was a sudden feeling of warm wetness emanating from between her legs and down the inside of thighs. Rayanne scowled at Jordan as his face turned a nasty shade of green.

"Oh God Rayanne….." he exclaimed.

"Oh calm down you big baby, my waters have only broken." she said grumpily. Jordan gaped at her in shock.

"Rayanne that's not your waters coming from down there" he said in a strained voice, dropping his widening eyes to the floor in horror and panic. Rayanne's heart nearly stopped as she looked down to the increasingly building pool of liquid coming from her cervix to the floor. The pools a deep red against the stark white of the hallway carpets.

"Oh fuck" she whimpered in terror as realisation hit her. Jordan caught her as another thunderous round of pain ripped through her and all she could do was roar in response. Jordan began to shake in fear, what the hell was he supposed to do?

* * *

_**-Cliffhanger! Hope you enjoyed it all. I'll be back soon with the next instalment! Please review if you like, they make me happy :-)**_


	26. The End is Where it Begins

_**Hello m'dears, its been too long. Many apologises for not updating this story in ages but life of course can be complicated! Thanks to all that reviewed, favourited and subscribed the last chapter. You kept me going through bad times over the last few months. I hope you enjoy this installment, only one more to go and possibly an epilogue if you're good ;-) Feel free to PM me if you've any criticisms or ideas. See you on the other side.**_

_**Love and appreciation,**_

_**RedCatCatalano**_

The blood was beginning to rapidly run down her legs as Rayanne struggled to stand, the pain intensifying with each second. Jordan's arms were starting to ache as he held her up, the strain growing so rapidly he was sure he'd collapse. Grunting loudly as he used the last of his strength, he managed to drag her to couch. Laying her down as gently as he could, he tried not to pass out as he saw the deep crimson streaks that went from the front door to the living room. He found he was shaking violently as he stood motionless in shock, watching helplessly as Rayanne screamed in agony. Her face was ashen in colour despite the physical struggle she was going through. When her gaze fell on the immobile Jordan, a sudden rush of intense rage filled her, distracting from the pain for a second.

"Don't just stand there Jordan, do something!" she hissed through gritted teeth, trying to sit up in the chair.

He blinked rapidly as he shook himself out of his daze. Jordan rushed forward to the kitchen and came back with a towel.

"Why the fuck did you get me a towel? What use is that?" Rayanne exclaimed in disbelief as he came to stop at her hip.

"Shouldn't we try stop the bleeding or something?" he babbled rapidly, his voice high and tight. Rayanne's face screwed up into a look of utter enraged bewilderment.

"Are you fucking retarded? How would that help?"

"Putting pressure on it slows the flow?" he mumbled sheepishly, increasingly seeing how stupid this seemed.

"I swear to God Jordan Catalano, if you come anywhere near my vagina with that fucking kitchen towel, I will castrate you with my teeth." she growled menacingly. Jordan folded towel carefully and tucked it under his arm, feeling like a complete and utter idiot. Rayanne shot him daggers but was unable to comment as another round of contractions burst through her defences.

"Do you want some Advil or something?" Jordan asked with growing concern. Rayanne glared at him in response.

"No! For the love of God! Of all the people I could have been stuck with like this, why'd it have to be you!?" she roared.

"I guess I should call the ambulance then." he mumbled feebly, wandering away from her.

"You think!" she retorted sarcastically, gripping her abdomen in desperation.

Her anger was cut short as a sudden wave of dizziness hit her and the urge to vomit overcame her.

"We'll have an ambulance there to transport her to Lenox Hill in 3 minutes, try and keep her calm in the meantime" the dispatcher instructed Jordan down the line.

"Okay, I'll do my best." Jordan answered unsteadily. Looking over at the couch, Jordan noticed Rayanne's breathing coming out quick and shallow. Her eyes a little glazed as she looked around the room with fright, she was definitely losing too much blood. The area near her legs was slick with red, irreparably staining the fabric. As he looked at her progressively grey skin colour, Jordan's instincts finally started to kick in. The fear over what was happening swiftly disappeared as a surge of adrenaline drove him into action. He had to keep her calm and he had to keep her awake. If she went into shock in this state, it could fatal. Rayanne yelped in surprise when he abruptly pulled her back into the large arms of the couch, propping her into a semi- seated position against the large cushions. She watched him in slight disorientation as he bent her knee's upwards and pushed them gently toward her body. Unfolding the towel and a nearby blanket, he wrapped them around her upper body tightly. It was then Rayanne realised she was shaking uncontrollably. Jordan tried his best to ignore the sticky viscous feeling of the blood on his hands from where he'd touched her legs. His natural squeamishness made him undergo a flash of recurrent nausea. He quickly swallowed the queasiness and kneeled beside her on the floor.

"The medics will be here soon Graff. You just need to stay relaxed." he said soothingly, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Relax Jordan? You're kidding right?" she wheezed. The Jordan smirked a little in spite of the serious situation. Rayanne thought about berating him for another bout of incredible stupidity, but couldn't find the strength. It was then she realised she was in real trouble. Jordan's smirk quickly disappeared as she began to cry, fat tears rolling down her face. It was so out of character for Rayanne that Jordan wasn't sure what to do. Her tears continued to flow as he stared at her dumbfounded. He quickly thought about how he could calm her again before this became worse. Maybe he could try distract her? Make her laugh or something? It couldn't hurt.

"Did I ever told you I'm deadly afraid of moths." he blurted out "I mean terrified, every time I see one I scream like a little girl." Rayanne stopped weeping a little as she looked at him like he was insane.

"What has that go to do with anything?" she whimpered, sniffling as she fought to contain the hysterics that brew beneath. Jordan didn't answer her question, he simply continued on with his train of thought. Aware that her tears were starting to fall less frequently from her wide scared eyes.

"This one time, me and Shane were driving cross country in his car to L.A, down some old dark dusty road. It was a really warm night so I had the windows down. Shane had fallen asleep in the seat beside me, and I was minding my own business, whistling along to some country song as I drove.

When then this is teeny tiny moth flew in the window and started fluttering round the car. I freaked out and in panic, drove the car off the road and into an electricity pylon…and then ran out of the car flailing my arms around shrieking like a banshee…."

Rayanne looked at him impassively for a second before cracking up into loud laughter in spite of her pain.

"What did Lewis do to you?" she asked through her giggles.

"Nothing, I told him a rogue cow had run out onto the road and I'd swerved to avoid it." Jordan replied with a smirk.

"And he believed you?" Rayanne chuckled in incredulity. Jordan nodded in response and Rayanne laughed even harder. Her good humour was short lived though as another surge of torturous spasms took hold. This time though she reached out and grabbed Jordan's free hand.

"Tell me another story." she said in a strangled voice through gritted teeth "Distract me again". Jordan held her hand tight as he didn't wait for a second invitation.

"The first time I ever kissed a girl as a kid, she sneezed in my mouth." he said with a chuckle "We went out for a further three weeks even after that." Rayanne started to laugh again even with unbearable pain coming from her uterus.

"Another" she said quickly.

"I used to tell people the first album I bought was Pearl Jam, when really it was Whitney Heuston. I had a secret obsession with her." Jordan said simply. Rayanne shook with laughter and Jordan kept on going with his embarrassing stories. Leaning her head against the soft cushions on the couch, she felt herself calm a little. Somehow she knew everything would be okay.

When Angela had thought about how she'd spend the evening of her 33rd birthday, standing in middle of Walgreens comparing home pregnancy tests, was not exactly how she'd envisioned it. Nor had she thought while doing this, she'd be half crouched in the shopping aisle as to avoid being spotted by anyone she knew. Clandestine measures were not exactly her strong suit. As she tried to decide which brand to buy, carefully keeping an eye out for her wayward son who'd gone to buy snacks for their movie night, she realised how ridiculous she must look. Her hood pulled up on her sweatshirt and large sunglasses covering her face, the very epitome of suspicious and utterly unsubtle. Angela Chase was a grown woman for God sakes and every so often every modern woman got a slight case of the pregnancy scares, it was nothing to be ashamed of. Even still, she shifted her eyes around the store warily lest any acquaintance was nearby, and made her way to the tills to pay before Jason came back. She didn't want him to see the tests, he'd probably go straight to Jordan about it. Her cell phone started to blast loudly in her pocket out of the blue, totally flustering her as she fumbled for it in her sweatshirt. She didn't even look at the caller I.D as she answered, wanting to silence the loud ring tone as quickly as possible.

"Hello" she said distractedly, leaning down with embarrassment to pick up the box she'd dropped on the floor in the momentary chaos.

"Whatever you do, don't hang up." a familiar voice said down the line in shaking insistence.

"Jordan?" she exclaimed in surprise "I thought I told you not to call me for a while" she added with slight annoyance, peeved he couldn't even stick to the agreement for more than a day.

"This is important" he said again seriously.

"Rayanne and I are in the middle of something, it's really not a good time for me to talk. I'm hanging up" she said sorely, fully intent on cutting this conversation short.

"No you're not, because that's a lie. Just give a second" he said simply. Angela could feel her blood pressure rising.

"Jordan, we've been through this yesterday. You need to leave me alone, I'm not in the mood to argue right now" she snapped back at him.

"Mom, why do have so many pregnancy tests?" Jason said bemusedly coming up behind her. Angela's eyes widened in dread as she covered the mic of the phone with her hand, praying Jordan hadn't heard anything. Jordan was prattling on about something down the speaker but she wasn't paying any attention.

"They're for…..Mom" she mumbled unconvincingly, cursing herself as the words left her mouth. That was the stupidest excuse she'd ever come up with.

"Grandma Patty…. isn't she a little old for that?" Jason replied, frowning in utter confusion.

"She's trying IVF with Dr. Roger's, it's all very romantic…." she trailed of as Jason stood there, his mouth agape in disbelief. Angela didn't add anything further, conscious that Jordan was now shouting her name down the phone.

"Angela! Angela for fuck's sake answer me" he roared.

"Fuck Jordan what!" she barked back in frustration.

"You need to get Brian's office urgently, I've tried his cell but he's not answering. Get him to Lenox Hill hospital now" Jordan said decisively. Angela's blood ran could as she heard the panic behind his cool exterior, something was really not right.

"Hold on, what? Jordan what's going on?" she said unsteadily, her voice cracking a little.

"It's Rayanne, the baby's coming but…. There's something wrong Angie, she was bleeding everywhere." he said bleakly, the terror now breaking through into his speech.

"Oh God….." Angela whimpered, dropping the shopping basket on the floor.

"Look, you need to stay calm. We're nearly at the hospital, but you have to get Brian. Can you do that Angela?" he said evenly, the steely calm returning to his voice.

"Yes." she said determinedly.

"That's my girl." he said proudly "I knew you could."

"Please take care of her" she said brokenly after a moment.

"Always." Jordan replied soothingly. With that the line went dead and Angela heart began to beat rapidly. She was motionless for a second as she tried to process everything. Lurching forward she grabbed Jason by the shirt and dragged him toward the exit with her.

"Mom, what's going on? What about all those tests on the floor?" he exclaimed in slight alarm.

"I'll steal some from the hospital later, right now we need to get downtown. Fast." Angela replied frantically, hailing the first cab she saw in front of her.

Now finally in the hospital, Jordan had felt this immediate weight lift off his shoulders. Rayanne was in the best possible place now. But even as she was admitted for treatment, he knew his duty wasn't over, he still felt responsible for her welfare. Not that she had protested to his lingering presence, in fact she readily welcomed his company. A familiar face was exactly what she needed at a time like this. The E.R staff had very swiftly sent her to the O.R once they'd realized how badly she was hemorrhaging, a blood transfusion and emergency caesarean section the only option at that moment. Jordan could tell Rayanne desperately wanted to wait for Brian, but her condition was deteriorating was so rapidly she had no choice but to take the immediate treatment. So that's where Jordan found himself, in a full set of surgical scrubs holding Rayanne's hand as the anesthesiologist gave her a sedative. She pulled at the mask as the gas started to pump through. The doctor began to protest as she did this.

"Miss Graff, we really need to start ASAP?" he said insistently.

"Just give me one second" she said wheezing with difficulty. Looking at Jordan solemnly she spoke with the deepest sincerity.

"You have to give her a name."

"Her?" Jordan said in surprise.

"Yes it's a her. I know it's a little girl I'm about to bring into the World." she replied sadly "And she needs to have a name before I go under. If I don't survive this whole thing, I want her to at least know I knew her name before I died."

Jordan looked at his friend dejectedly, as a sudden lump rose up in throat.

"You're going to be fine" he said anxiously, squeezing her hand.

"Just give me a name. Please Jordan." she begged, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Jordan looked down at her helplessly, unable to do anything but comply with her wish. He didn't even think as he let the names roll off his tongue.

"Laura April Krakow." he said gravely. She stared at him for the longest time before her strained frown relaxed a fraction.

"Thank you" she said faintly with genuine gratitude, her scared expression softening as she laid back into the surgical table. Pulling the mask over her mouth again, she seemed calm as she took deep, long breaths.

"Laura April Krakow, Laura April Krakow." she repeated over and over until the gas took hold and she lost consciousness.

Jordan sat there for the longest time, just watching her chest rise up and down. Hoping she'd be able to hold on. He didn't have the strength to pay attention to what was going on behind the screen, the smell of iodine and blood making him feel faint. It wasn't until he heard the unmistakable noise of a baby's cry that he finally came back to reality. He saw a flash of a pinkish-grey blob, before it was taken away to the observation station. The doctor's had brought the little child over to the midwife in the corner, who was checking it over. The baby took large healthy gulps of oxygen as it continued to cry and Jordan waited on baited breath to see if he or she was okay. The midwife turned and gave him a smile as he looked over at the nurse with concern.

"A perfectly formed baby girl, 6 lbs. and 2 oz. with all 10 fingers and all 10 toes" she said happily, turning to reveal the small wrapped up face of Laura April Krakow. The tell-tale soft blond curls of her father's family peeking out over the top of the blanket. Jordan's face broke out into an overjoyed smile as he saw she her finally. Her soft mewling cries melting his heart. Jordan's joy was short-lived though as the monitor on his right began to beep erratically.

"Crap, her vitals are dropping. We have to find that bleed." the surgeon barked as the operating staff sprang into action. Jordan's eyes widened in fright as Rayanne's heart rate on the monitor began to dip dangerously.

"I think it's best you leave now before things get too messy." the midwife said kindly as she pushed the newly swaddled baby out of the operating room in a hospital cot "You've done all you can do dear." Jordan nodded in agreement, still he was a little reluctant to leave Rayanne.

"C'mon Mr. Catalano, it's better if you don't see this" the midwife said again. Jordan didn't need a second word of persuasion as he rose and left without another glance, praying Rayanne Graff would pull through.

By the time Angela Chase reached Brian's office near Battery Park, she was practically frantic with worry. Both she and Jason had tried Brian's cell repeatedly without any answer.

"Goddamn it Krakow, answer your damn phone" she hissed angrily. Turning to Jason, she looked at him decisively.

"Stay in the cab and drive round the block a few times till you see me. I'm going to get Brian"

Before the boy could protest, she leaped out of the taxi and ran toward the large, imposing office building.

"You heard the lady, just loop back" he said tiredly, looking out into the bright night lights of his home city. Never so unhappy to be stuck in a taxi in his life.

Fortune was thankfully on Angela's side as the receptionist on duty recognized her as a client and she got passed the lobby security swiftly. She raced out of the elevators as soon as it hit Brian's floor. The office secretary stopped her dead as Angela tried to cross the threshold into the law firm. Her current informal attire and general air of frenetic desperation screaming psycho shooter, rather than casual acquaintance.

"Hello, Miss where do you think you're going? Do you have an appointment with anyone?"

Angela looked past her anxiously into the office, not spotting Krakow's blond head anywhere. Where the hell was he?

"No Ma'am I don't have an appointment. But I have to find Brian Krakow, its urgent." she replied soberly. The secretary looked at her skeptically, before taking a deep breath.

"Mr. Krakow is currently indisposed in a meeting and will be so for another hour or two. If you have the time to spare to wait for him, feel free to take a seat." she said politely, gesturing to the collection of comfortable arm chairs around a small coffee table.

"Sure" Angela replied with feigned calmness, already knowing that was exactly not what she was going to do. As the receptionist turned to get something off her desk, Angela saw her opportunity. Sprinting through the double glass door before the other woman could stop her, she weaved between the maze of hushed cubicles of paralegals and junior associates to get to the meeting rooms at the other end of the building. All the employees stared at her as if she was crazy, as she tore up the carpeted floors to the partner meeting room. Another secretary shouted after her as she got ready to wrench open the door.

"Ms. you can't go in there. It's a private meeting and besides, the doors are locked from the inside."

Stepping away from the door, Angela visibly cursed.

"Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to leave." the secretary said sternly.

Angela scowled at her in response.

"I am truly sorry, but that is really not going to happen" she said insolently "Not until I speak with Brian Krakow. I presume you have an internal phone going into there. Call him."

The secretary crossed her arms across her chest defiantly.

"Everyone in that room requested to not be disturbed under any circumstances" she replied snottily "So no."

Angela's eyes were fiery as she stepped up close to the other woman.

"If you don't get Brian Krakow on the phone to hear what I've got to say, he's going to regret it the rest of his life" she said in a low threatening growl. The administrator looked at her serious expression and saw she was telling the truth. It seemed worth the trouble of giving her the benefit of the doubt.

"Okay, follow me" she said gravely.

Brian Krakow came charging across the office floor like a bull as soon as the secretary had called him. He'd refused to talk to Angela on the phone, opting instead to face her head on. Angela could see he was mad as he came closer, a telltale deep frown etched on his face. Before she could even speak to him, he grabbed her by the elbow and walked into a nearby empty office.

"Do have any idea how embarrassing it is to be told that my crazy friend has broken into my law firm and is refusing to leave in front of all of the senior partners? What the hell is so important that you pull me out of a meeting like this?" Brian growled.

"Well maybe if you'd have answered your phone like a normal person none of this would have had to happen" Angela snapped back at him.

"I am in one of the most important meetings of my career….." he retorted irritably.

"Some things are more important than your job Brian" she yelled back at him. Brian shook his head as he scoffed.

"You know what, I don't have time for games. Goodbye Angela" Brian said tiredly as he turned to leave.

"Jordan called me 20 minutes ago, Rayanne's gone into labor but there's been complications" Angela said suddenly and Brian froze at the door.

Turning back toward her, hi face drained of color.

"Wait…..what?" he said in strangled voice.

"He must have been at the apartment when it happened, but something's gone wrong and she's been rushed to Lenox Hill. That's why we've been calling…." Angela said bleakly.

"What's gone wrong, she was fine this morning" Brian exclaimed, gripping the tight curls on his hair forcefully.

"From what Jordan said…..I think it was a massive uterine bleed." Angela replied blankly "Now I know this is a lot to process, but we have to leave for the hospital. Immediately!"

Brian didn't need a second invitation for action, before Angela could blink he had ripped open the door and galloped toward the elevators. She followed a few seconds later, struggling to keep up with his panicked, wide strides. Both of them hopped into the taxi a few seconds later, a wide eyed Jason staring at them in momentary shock. Angela gave him a weak smile before turning to the cab driver with purpose.

"Lenox Hill hospital, and step on it"

Brian was practically frothing at the mouth by the time they reached the hospital. It had taken them nearly 40 minutes to get uptown, every block they seemed to turn onto had a traffic jam or a red light. Angela had tried calling Jordan for an update on Rayanne and the baby, but she wasn't getting a response. She concluded Rayanne had been sent straight to surgery and he'd gone with her. Still she wished she knew anything to placate Brian's extreme terror. He'd sat with his head in his hand the entire cab journey, not saying one single word. As soon as the taxi stopped outside the drop off zone of the hospital, Brian had leapt out. Angela wasn't long after him with Jason, but unfortunately in his panic, Brian had run off heedlessly and had gotten lost.

"I'll go find him, you go see if you can find out where Rayanne or Jordan is .Meet you back here in 5 minutes?" Jason said calmly. Angela nodded solemnly in agreement.

"I'm sorry to bother you all but…., I'm wondering if I could ask you a quick question?" Angela asked insistently at the first nurse's station she found.

"Sure honey, what do you need?" A kind matronly woman replied with a smile

"A friend of mine was admitted here about an hour ago, she'd gone into labour but there was some major complication and I really need to find out what's happened. Her name's Rayanne Graff, she arrived with my boyfriend Jordan Catalano" she said desperately. She suddenly felt her cheeks grow red as she realized what she'd said. Referring to Jordan as he boyfriend in the present tense was not exactly what she'd intended. Quickly pushing it aside in her mind, she turned her attention back to the jaded looking nurses.

"I'm really sorry Miss but I can't give out information about Ms. Graff's condition at this moment, but Mr. Catalano is just down the hall getting some treatment done." the nurse answered again, pointing to her right.

Angela frowned as she heard this, worried that Jordan had been hurt or something. She gave the nurse a small smile of gratitude and went in the direction she had pointed to. At least she could get some answers about what happened out of Catalano.

It didn't take her long to locate Jordan as he sat on a gurney getting his arm attended to. Angela felt her stomach turn when her eyes fell on the angry red cut on his arm. It was bleeding very little, but the laceration itself was quite bad. The doctor in front of him was threading a large needle through the skin to close the gap, as Jordan hissed with discomfort.

"Damn, Jordan are you okay?" Angela said anxiously, coming to stand beside him at the bed. Upon seeing her, he smiled up at her in relief despite the minor pain he was in. At last the cavalry had arrived.

"Yeah I'm fine, just burst a couple of stitches in all the commotion earlier. Didn't even notice the bleeding till after I came out of the O.R! Where's Krakow?" he asked seriously, trying to look behind her.

"He ran off, Jason's gone to find him." Angela replied blankly, watching carefully as the young doctor finished up the sutures and began to wrap bandages around the newly replaced stitching. Upon seeing the concern in her face as she stared, he caught her eye with his.

"Seriously Chase. I'm fine." Jordan said quietly. She gave him a brief smile as she nodded with mild embarrassment.

"I've always hated the sight of blood" she mumbled quietly, dropping her eyes to the floor "It always makes me panic". Jordan reached up his good arm to her face, running his thumb over the line of her cheek bone he smiled at her affectionately.

"You're not the only one." he said sweetly. Angela raised her gaze to meet his again and smiled back at him with equal warmth. Her eyes grew sad again after a moment as she thought about why they were all there.

"What happened Jordan….to Rayanne?" she whispered anxiously. Dropping his hand, Jordan sighed heavily in trepidation.

"I went over to your apartment earlier to get something for Jason, while I was there Rayanne started getting contractions and her water broke…but she started bleeding everywhere. I tried to keep her calm till the ambulance arrived, then they gave her a blood transfusion and sent her to get an emergency C section. And then…." Jordan trailed off.

"Where's Rayanne?" she said with a troubled frown on her face.

"Last time I saw her, the doctors were frantically trying to stop her hemorrhaging. I haven't heard anything else for a while. Sorry Angie" Jordan said regretfully.

"And the baby?" Angela asked with unease, terrified of what the answer would be. To her delighted surprise, Jordan's serious grimace melted away to be replaced with a little smile of happiness.

"She's great." he said proudly.

"She?" Angela said brightly, a smile of her own spreading across her mouth.

"Yeah, a beautiful little 6lbs baby girl." Jordan said with a growing grin.

Much to the surprise of Jordan and the still present doctor, Angela bolted forward and hugged him tightly in delight

"Oh thank God." Angela whimpered, suddenly crying with relief as she buried her face in his shoulder. Pulling her down next to him on the gurney, Jordan chuckled a little at her emotional response.

"Shhhhh…. It's okay." he said soothingly as he held her close, feeling a little guilty for enjoying the feeling of her pressed against him at a time like this. He really was degenerate.

"I'm just going to go" the doctor said awkwardly "Your dressings all done now anyway. Just keep it dry."

Jordan nodded in awkward thanks as he rubbed Angela's shaking shoulders, thankful to see her calming again so quickly.

"Sorry, that was a little melodramatic of me" she laughed ruefully through the last of her sobs. Jordan just grinned back at her teasingly, wiping the tears away from her eyes with his thumb.

"Just a tad" he smirked.

Behind her, Jason and Brian suddenly appeared looking worse for wear.

"There you are! I thought were supposed to meet back at the lobby." Jason complained grumpily. Angela looked up at him sheepishly as she wiped her eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I'd been gone that long."

Brian looked one look at her red rimmed eyes and immediately thought the worst.

"Oh God, what's happened? Was it Rayanne or the baby? Please will someone tell me what's happened?" he cried out, his voice shaky and despairing. Jordan stood up and caught him by the shoulders.

"Rayanne is okay, but she's still with the doctors in surgery." he said evenly, looking straight into Brian's dark blue eyes in an effort to calm him.

"The baby is in the NICU for observation, but she's doing good" he added.

Brian's eyes widened as a dazed look of amazed joy overtook his features.

"The baby's okay….." he said astonishment, his fear slowly slipping away. "I have a daughter" Brian in stunned delight.

"Yeah you do, and she's perfect" Jordan replied with genuine pleasure, slapping his friend gently on the shoulder.

"I have a daughter." Brian repeated, his eyes bright with pride and excitement.

"Do you want to come meet her?" he asked happily, already knowing the answer. Brian nodded his head enthusiastically, all his previous worries burning away. His eagerness deflated a little as his thoughts turned to his girlfriend.

"Maybe I should wait till we hear something about Rayanne." he said gravely. Jordan looked at him pensively, considering his concern carefully. Yet it was Angela that came up with solution first.

"No. Jason and I can stay and wait for news. You go with Jordan to the nursery." she said kindly.

"You sure?" he asked skeptically. She simply nodded and Brian exhaled sharply.

"Okay, just….keep me updated." he said tiredly.

"I will" Angela replied earnestly. Without another word he and Jordan turned and left.

Jordan Catalano didn't know how long he'd been staring through the observation window of the NICU nursery, so lost in his own thoughts, time had seemed to stand still. In the corner of the room Brian sat on a simple white, rocking chair, cooing in awe at his new born daughter contentedly as he held her close to his chest. Jordan smiled as he watched them together, it was one of the sweetest sights he'd ever seen in the world. After all the horror that had preceded this little bundle of joy coming into the world, it was heartening to watch father and daughter interact for the first time. He wondered what it was like, to hold a baby that small and know it utterly depended on you. To see it grow from helpless to adulthood, to aid it in becoming a person. It was the one thing he still resented Angela a little for, the missed stages of Jason's life he wasn't a part of. His first cry, Christmas, steps, words, day of school. Everything. It made him feel inadequate at times that he'd been absent for all of that. Jordan didn't love Jason any less though, but he always felt as if there were gaps that he and his son would never bridge. Important times that he had missed that would never be gotten back. That being said, there wasn't a person alive that would make him skip a single event further in his son's life. He'd be there to see him graduate high school, graduate college, get married and maybe have kids of his own. And all of that was just important as everything that had gone before. Still, he wished for the chance to hold a baby of his own as preciously as Brian held Laura.

"There you are. I've been looking for you" Angela said with relief, as she came up behind him. Jordan smiled gently as he instinctively put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"Sorry, just got a little lost in my own thoughts" he said warmly.

"Shocking, you actually thinking?" Angela smiled back ruefully.

"Hey, I am a very deep thinker thank you very much" Jordan replied in mock offence.

"Sure" she teased, an almost flirtatious glint in her eyes.

Jordan simply grinned as he looked down at her affectionately. Angela suddenly began to feel a little uncomfortable under his tender gaze, after their conversation the day before, it all seemed too soon to fall into old habits. Awkwardly stepping out of his arm, she cleared her throat and looked in through the window of the nursery. Her unease was quickly forgotten as she spotted Brian and Laura.

"They look so natural together. She beautiful" she gushed happily.

Jordan tried to hide his disappointment that she shrugged off his touch, as he resumed watching father and child.

"Yeah, Laura is a real cutie." He said sweetly. Angela cocked her head to one side as she turned to look at him.

"Laura? Isn't that….?" She began.

"My Mom's name….yep" Jordan smiled sheepishly "Rayanne asked me to name the baby before she went under the anesthetic. It was the first name that came to mind."

Angela looked at him strangely for a second, before suddenly leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek for the briefest of seconds. Jordan was taken aback for a moment before a bewildered half smile graced his face.

"What was that for?" he said contentedly. Angela didn't answer, smiling at him coquettishly she walked away toward the nursery door without another word. Jordan watched her go, his heart beating faster from the momentary contact and all at once he felt like electricity or something. He tried to shake this brief rush of elation, it was stupid to put any stock in anything that happened today. It was special circumstances where emotions ran high and people would not react rationally... Tomorrow reality would bite him in the ass, he was certain of that. After a moment he followed Angela into the nursery, eager to find out what had happened to Rayanne.

"So the doctors said she lost a lot of blood and is quite weak after the surgery, but she'll be able to leave the hospital at latest on Tuesday." Angela said brightly as she smiled at Brian. He smiled back at her in delight, relief washing over him like a cool drink of water.

"Is she awake yet?" he said serenely, his gaze falling back to his new born daughter's tiny face. Angela nodded.

"Jason's with her now and she wants to see Laura".

"Let's go then" Brian replied enthusiastically.

The room was deadly quiet when the nurses finally wheeled the small plastic cot into Rayanne's hospital room. The full toll of the day's exertion having taken all her energy. Angela had never seen her friend so lackluster and quiet, yet there was an air of contentment that flowed off her in waves. The knowledge that despite all the events that had gone before, that she had survived and endured the trials, was a reason to be thankful. Rayanne's deadened and tired eyes lit up wonder as the small pink bundle was lifted out of the cot and placed in her arms. Jordan, Angela and Jason hung back slightly just outside the room as Brian followed Laura into see Rayanne. It was only fair the new family got a few minutes alone.

"So this is who's been using my bladder as her own personal punching bag. Hello my little bump." Rayanne said weakly, a smile creeping across her mouth as she held her baby close. Brian came to stand on the other side of her, a giddy grin on his face.

"She's cuter than I ever thought possible" he said proudly "and thankfully she didn't get my father's nose."

"Or your Mother's ears" Rayanne added playfully, running her fingers over her daughters tight blonde curls. Brian laughed for a second before an unreadable look crossed his features. Reaching out, he ran his fingers across Rayanne's cheek. She looked up at him in confusion.

"Don't scare me like that again, okay. Promise?" he said solemnly. Her face softened and she gave him an affectionate half smile.

"Promise." She said gently.

Just on the cusp of the doorway, Jordan was beginning to feel a little uneasy. He felt as if he was intruding a little. Clearing his throat, he started to shift his weight from foot to foot restlessly.

"Ehhhh…..I think I'm going to go now….. Everything's ok, so…" he trailed off. Angela frowned in disappointment, not wanting him to leave one bit. If he went home, then everything would have to go back to normal. Reality would hit them all straight smack in the face and they'd have to keep their distance. That was the deal she herself had set out. Boundaries that seemed so stupid to her right now. As he went to move away from them, Angela suddenly found herself reaching out and grabbing his hand.

"Wait" she said softly "Don't leave yet."

The warmth of her skin against his almost made him shiver and the look in her eyes caused his heart to do a flip. There was need reflecting off the deep green of her eyes that made him stop dead in his tracks, a hidden doubt that caused his own eyes to widen. Angela instantly let go of him as she saw his reaction, guilt flooding her like a river. She had to stop sending him mixed messages, pushing him away with one hand and pulling him back in with the other. It wasn't fair. Jason looked between them with a frown, seeing exactly where this behavior was heading. Disaster. The family of three stood in silence for what seemed like an age, none of them daring to move lest they set off the bomb that ticked below the surface.

"Guys, can I borrow one of your cell phones?" Brian said from inside the hospital room, shaking them out of their reverie "Mines completely dead". Clearing her throat uneasily, Angela turned on her heel and gave him a strained smile.

"Sure. Take mine".

Walking the final few metres into the room, her phone outstretched in her hand, she tried not to let her heart sink as she heard Jordan walk away down the hall. Obviously he'd had enough confusion for one night.

"Thanks" Brian said happily, taking the phone gratefully from her "just have to make the customary calls to the new grandparents". Smiling gleefully, he walked toward the bathroom as he dialed, sneaking glances at Laura as he went.

Turning back to Jason, Angela looked at her son beseechingly.

"Any chance you'd go grab me a coffee from the machine down the hall?" Looking between his mother and her best friend, he picked up on the fact she wanted to talk to Rayanne alone. He sighed in resignation.

"Yeah sure, I got to go pee anyway" he said matter-of-factly. Angela gave him a smirk in thanks, walking toward the hospital bed with excitement.

"I don't think in all the years I've known him, Brian has ever been so giddy" Angela said with a smile. Rayanne grinned back.

"I know…..it's starting to scare me a little."

They continued to smirk at one another until Rayanne left out a sudden yawn, her understandable exhaustion making a return. Angela looked at her best friend with sympathy, conscious she probably leave and let her sleep. And yet, after the close call with death Rayanne had experienced, Angela found herself too afraid to leave quite yet.

"Speaking of being scared" Angela began more seriously "you gave me quite a fright today." Looking up from her peacefully dozing baby, Rayanne gave her a sheepish and faint smirk.

"I'm sorry about that Angelika, you know I have a penchant for the dramatics" she replied dryly "Normal bores me." Angela chuckled lightly in response before reaching out and placing her hand on Rayanne's. Her best friend turned her hand over and gave it a squeeze in return.

"I'm sorry I scared you, but I was in good hands." She said gently. Angela nodded, before looking away for a second.

"I know. But weren't you terrified too" she said quietly. Rayanne breathed deeply, her brow furrowing as she contemplated the question.

"No" she said honestly "Somehow I knew I was going to be okay." Looking back down at Laura again, she smiled.

"That we'd be okay." Angela's smile returned as she watched Rayanne's face fill with unmistakable pride and love for the little child in her arms.

"You did good Ray Ray. She's perfect" Angela said sweetly. She chuckled again at her own sudden internal thought.

"But you really rolled the dice when you let Jordan name her, I'm surprised she didn't end up being called Courtney Love, Joan Jett or something equally ridiculous." She teased. Rayanne snorted with laughter.

"I know but it seemed like the right decision at the time, that being said, he did well. Laura suits her." The small bundle let out a momentary mewling cry before quietening again.

"Besides…" Rayanne continued "It was only right he got to name her in some ways, because without him, there might not of been a her left to save" Rayanne said gravely. Angela cocked her head to one side as she looked at Rayanne with interest.

"You really believe that." She said impassively. Rayanne looked straight into her eyes before nodding solemnly.

"I owe him more than I think I can ever repay." She said without any trace of sarcasm or teasing. Exhaling loudly, Angela felt a sudden pressure building her chest, making her eyes prick with almost tears. The feeling of genuine delight and pride in her former paramour making her heart expand. Jordan Catalano, the unconventional hero. At a loss at what to say she simply ran her fingers lightly over Laura's tiny blonde curls, thankful for the simple joy a new life brought to circumstances.

Brian was beaming from ear to ear as he finished his final call of the night. Rickie had burst into tears as soon as Brian had told him, swearing to jump on the next red eye to New York he could find. His mother hadn't been much more composed, the usually emotionally impenetrable woman screeched with delight when he'd called her. Satisfied he'd informed all the people he needed to, he began to make his way back up to Rayanne's room. Anxious to see his little girl one more time before the nurses made him go home. As he passed nurses stations and waiting area, a familiar face caught his attention. Sitting on a beaten up brown leather couch, a paper cup resting between his hands, Jordan Catalano was frowned in deep concentration. At first he didn't see Brian, his gazed fixed on a spot in the far distance as he mulled over things in his mind.

"Hey" Brian said warmly, stopping in front of him as he gave him a smile "I thought you'd gone home." Jordan's eyes widened in slight surprise as he took in the sight if Brian beside him. He blinked rapidly as he registered his friend's presence.

"I was going to, but….I guess I just needed time to decompress or something" he said tiredly, rolling the paper cup in between his hands. Brian smirked and sat down on the couch beside him.

"Intense day huh…." He said sardonically.

Jordan couldn't help but chuckle at little.

"You could say that" he replied wryly. Neither said anything further for a moment, each taking the opportunity to take stock of life now everything had calmed.

"I never got to thank you earlier for what you did today" Brian said gravely after the longest time "I don't think I'll ever find a way to fully repay you for taking care of my girls." A small awkward smile graced Jordan's mouth.

"You don't have to thank me, you'd have done the same for me if the roles were reversed. Besides it was simply it was there at the right place, right time." Brian shrugged as he took what he'd said in.

"Maybe, but you still went into that O.R with Rayanne, you're still the one that held her hand in the ambulance. I still have something to fight for and love in this World because you were in the right place at the right time. Don't discount your hand in how things turned out." Brian said frankly, placing a friendly hand on Jordan's shoulder.

"Yeah….maybe I did one or two things right." He conceded with a self-deprecation "But at the same time I tried to stop the bleeding by making a giant tampon out of kitchen towels. Rayanne nearly throttled me".

Brian let out a sudden burst of uncontrollable laughter.

"Yeah, yeah laugh it up Krakow. I'm a gigantic idiot." Jordan blushed, laughing despite his embarrassment. The brief reprieve soon ended as Brian noticed the pensive look on Jordan's face came back, becoming more and more troubled as time continued.

"You okay?" Brian said with concern as he noticed Jordan's expression. His friends face relaxed a little as he met his gaze.

"Yeah sorry, I'm just a little fried." He said with a half-smile.

"You looked like you were a million miles away" Brian said more quizzically "a lot on your mind?"

Jordan sighed unhappily.

"Yeah. Just stuff." He said.

"Anything I can help with" Brian asked hopefully.

"Not unless you can change the past." Jordan said bitterly and Brian's eyes widened in realization.

"Oh…..I see. Angela?" he said uneasily, conscious that he was liable to be shouted at for prying too far.

"Yep." Jordan said sadly, rolling the cup in his hands again.

"Today when I watched you and Rayanne together experiencing Laura's first day together, it just, it made me realize that it could have been me. Standing there with Angela. Seeing my kid being born. I spent my whole life running away from responsibility and commitment, and right now there's nothing more I want in my life than to have that connection with another person." Brian looked at him with pity, a rush of fraternal affection for his old friend filling him. Squeezing his buddies shoulder he looked deep into his eyes with earnest hope.

"One day it will be, you two are fated or something" Jordan didn't reply, he just looked at his friend with gratitude.

"Anyway…." Brian began again "I better go before the nurses send me packing." Jordan's good humored smile returned as he spoke, giving Brian a friendly shove as he rose to his feet.

"Go. You're talking too much anyway." Brian grinned as he gave Jordan a playful push in retaliation.

"Oh and Brian, congratulations Daddieo." His friend beamed proudly as he finally walk away down the hall. Jordan shook his head as he watched him leave, rising to his own feet and walking in the opposite direction. Finally ready to go home.

It was close to 2 am when Angela and Jason finally left the hospital, Brian had somehow convinced the staff to let him stay the remainder of the night and was set up in a comfortable armchair in the corner to watch over his girls. Angela was still taken aback by the change in her oldest friend, never seeing him so open and extroverted in his emotions and thoughts, she guessed that's what fatherhood did to some guys. And truth be told, she liked the new Brian. Similarly she could see the new responsibilities that she'd acquired had most definitely calmed Rayanne somewhat. It would be interesting to see how things all worked out in the next few weeks for them as new parents. Even with her apprehensions, Angela somehow knew they'd do fine.

Her thoughts couldn't help but wander to her own possible foray into parenthood again. If the events of today had taught her anything, it was more than any other thing in the world, she couldn't imagine going through it again alone. The stolen test she'd swiped inadvertently from Walgreens earlier, burned a hole in her pocket as she rode in the cab home, taunting her as the uncertainty rose within her stomach. The events of the previous 24 hours had been more intense than she could ever process, yet the need to know if her suspicious were correct was driving her crazy. This certainly was not the birthday she'd ever expected this year.

"Mom, why are we outside Jordan's building?" Jason asked sleepily as he awoke from his short nap against her shoulder. Angela looked out the window in surprise, snapping out of her jaded daydreaming in an instance.

"Emmm…." She laughed in embarrassment "I must have told the driver his address by accident. Force of habit obviously". Jason smirked at her despite his tiredness, he didn't care either way if he was being honest.

"I guess we might as well stay here tonight since we're already here" he yawned, stretching his arms out in front of him. Angela hesitated for a second, wondering if that was wise considering the conversation she'd had with Jordan less than 3 days previous. On the other hand, from what Jordan and Rayanne had told her about what had happened, it was likely the state of her apartment would make her throw up. She didn't do well with blood and gore, even the thought of it was making her feel queasy.

"Sure, why not." Angela sighed in resignation, hoping this wasn't going to be a humungous mistake.

There was no sign of Jordan as they came in through the silent penthouse. Jason muttered a grumpy goodnight and kissed his mother's cheek before wandering upstairs to bed, Angela unfortunately now found herself feeling wired. Whether it was as a reaction to the excitement of the day or the fact she was standing in the hallway of the man she'd sworn to stay away from.

The man who'd likely be very interested in what lay in front pocket of her hoodies, the thin, long box a probable cause for much discussion if it was found. Pulling the zip tighter, Angela took a deep breath and prayed the small bulge of it would go unnoticed. She was about to amble slowly down the hall to one of the many guests rooms when her attention was caught by a distant noise. Her interest piqued, she followed the sound.

Coming into the familiar living room, her heart melted a little when she spied Jordan curled up fast asleep on one of the couches. His chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm as he snored lightly, completely dead to the world. Angela sat on the edge of the cushion, turning off the TV opposite as she continued to watch him sleep soundly. Not wanting to wake him, but unable to stop herself, she ran her fingers over his smooth, flushed cheek. He frowned and groaned a little in his sleeps as somewhere in his consciousness he registered her presence. Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to the crease in his brow, gently shushing his fussing like a small child as she stroked his hair. His features seemed to relax again, reassured by the gentle touch of her hands and voice. Angela couldn't help but smile at him, uncontrollable feelings of adoration and longing for him filling her. She wondered why it couldn't always be this way, for her feelings and needs to be so straightforward and uncomplicated. But Angela knew the reality, being in love with Jordan Catalano was never going to be plain sailing, they were both too headstrong for that.

As she sat with him, her fingers still tracing the contours of his face for a while, her weariness finally caught up with her. Somewhere in the cavernous hallways of penthouse a clock struck 3am and Angela found herself yawning. It was definitely time for bed, yet Angela found herself unable to move from Jordan's side. Today he'd been the man she knew he always could be, reliable, caring and above all considerate, and she found it almost impossible to pull herself away from him when he showed the best of him. Angela marveled how he'd gone from apparent zero to hero in less than 48 hours, yet here she was watching him in awe of the strength he'd shown. It reminded her why she'd always be in love with him.

"Jordan" she whispered in close "why do you always make it impossible for me to stick to anything I promise. I say I want some space from you and yet here I am, wanting nothing more than to curl up beside you on this damn couch".

"Than just do it." He mumbled sleepily, half opening one eye to look at her cheekily for a second. Angela's cheeks flamed scarlet as she realized he'd probably been semi-conscious of everything she'd been doing. Yet, at this time of night and after the day she'd had, Angela found she didn't really care. The likelihood was if she managed to sneak away later before he woke up fully, Jordan wouldn't remember anything. If she didn't, well that was a chance she was willing to take.

"Okay" she murmured in submission. Clambering onto the couch beside him, she lay down facing him. Unable to stop herself from beaming as he reached out to her in his sleep drunken need. The soothing smell of him easing any lingering awkwardness away, the memories of happier times clouding her judgment. Pulling her close against his chest, her head fitting at the apex of his neck and shoulder, he sighed contentedly and was instantly asleep again. The feeling of his warm chest as it moved under her hands brought more joy to her than she'd ever openly admit, feeling more at home and at peace with the world than she had in months. Moving in closer under his protective arm, Angela slowly drifted to sleep. Not caring one whit for the possible complications this sleeping arrangement was likely to cause.

The sun was just starting rise outside as Jordan Catalano awoke in strange almost-darkness of his living room. The sky was awash with great streaks of pink and orange, filling the room with a strange purplish glow in the morning light. So odd were the hues around him, Jordan's newly awoken mind didn't fully register he wasn't alone in the room. He almost leaped off the couch as he saw and felt the other body beside him, jerking away in surprise. Jordan's sudden, violent movement instantly woke Angela who gasped loudly in fright.

"Angela?" Jordan spluttered in confusion as he recognized her in the dark "What the….."

Angela's cheeks went red as she groaned internally, suddenly feeling incredibly self-conscious at being caught in such a precarious positions.

"Hi" she said uncomfortably, disentangling herself fully from him and sitting up on the couch. Jordan's eyes were wide in bewilderment as he stared at her agog.

"What are you doing here?" he finally managed to wheeze out, a slight smile spreading across his mouth as he became conscious of the fact she had in fact been cuddling him only moments before.

"I said the wrong address when Jason and I got a cab home and we were too tired to go back to the other apartment by then." Angela stuttered awkward, not being able to look at him in the face.

"Okay, but why were you sleeping on the couch with me?" he said more teasingly, leaning forward to try catch her evasive gaze.

"I don't know." She mumbled again, shrugging her shoulders. Angela could feel his dopey grin widening despite the fact she wasn't looking at him. This was the stupidest idea she'd ever had, of course she'd gotten caught.

"You don't know?" Jordan laughed "So you just sleep walked here and started spooning me or something?"

Angela didn't answer, preferring to just leave the scene of the crime and die of embarrassment elsewhere. Swinging her legs back over the side of the couch, she made and attempt to walk away before one of Jordan's strong, broad hands held her back.

"C'mon Angie, you can't just walk away and not give me an explanation." Jordan said more seriously. Finally looking at him, Angela was struck by how vulnerable he looked under the pretense of mocking arrogance he was presenting at that moment. Without thinking, Angela found herself speaking the words she'd tried desperately to deny for so long.

"I miss being close to you" she said sweetly, a hint of dejection in her voice. Jordan's smirk disappeared as a defenseless smile covered his face instead, tenderness toward her obvious in his gaze. Reaching out to catch her downcast face, Jordan ran his thumb over her cheek gently. They didn't say anything else for the longest time, simply content just to gaze at one another.

Down the hall the clock struck again as it had earlier, pulling Angela out of her reverie. Slowly she pulled Jordan's hand away from her face and turned her back to him again.

"I better go" she said coldly, unable to look back at Jordan. Sure that she would find him staring at her with crushed puppy dog eyes that would kill her inside. He didn't try stop her as got to her feet this time, the pain of her rejection destroying his resistance.

"Yeah…..that's probably a good idea" he said bitterly, staring out into the city. Angela's heart nearly split in two as she saw the look of utter anguish and hatred on his face. She couldn't leave things like this, not after how far they'd both come the last few days. But words just didn't seem like they were enough, lately nothing seemed to be coming out right. And she couldn't risk hurting him again with false promises.

"I thought you were leaving" Jordan said gruffly, fixing her an angry glare from where she stood motionless a few feet from him "Can't stick to any decisions anymore can you?" he spat out resentfully.

"Jordan, please don't be like this" she said sadly, her eyes downcast.

"Like what?" he said more heatedly.

"Like how you are?" Angela answered, a forlorn expression filling her brow.

"Just go Angela" Jordan replied miserably, looking back in the city with contempt.

She was about to comply when he glanced back at her for the briefest of seconds, a look of complete brokenness stilling heart. It cut her deep inside, the need to comfort him overwhelming her. Before she knew what she was doing, Angela had kneeled down in front of him on the couch, reaching out and holding his face between her hands.

"No" she whispered shakily. Gone past the point of no return, Angela leaned and captured his mouth with hers. Kissing him with a desperate aching need.

Jordan was unable to react for a few seconds as his brain processed what was happening was not a lovely lucid dream. Reaching for her face, he pulled her closer as the taste of her ignited something deep within him.

It was most alive he'd felt in over two months, the separation they'd endured seeming a distant memory as he explored her familiar mouth with reverent passion. Somewhere in his head he knew this new intimacy was going to be short-lived, yet at this present second he didn't care. Finding courage to test the water, he moved his hands to her hips and pulled her onto the couch on top of him. Angela didn't resist at first, too caught up in the moment to think rationally, but as the kisses began to deepen and she found herself starting to pant, her brain screamed at her to stop.

Pushing him away more forcefully than she'd intended, she sat up and covered her face with her hands. Trying to catch her breath as she cursed herself internally for giving into impulse, what the hell was she thinking?

"Jordan, I'm sorry. I can't do this. I shouldn't have done that." she stuttered, tears of frustration and hatred threatening to fall. Jordan exhaled loudly beneath her, but he didn't react negatively to her sudden flippancy. Looking at her impassively, he could see how incredibly torn she was about this whole situation. Gently he reached up and pulled her hands away from her face.

"It's okay" he said sweetly. The kindness he showed her made Angela feel worse, she'd expected anger, frustration or even bitterness, not understanding. She had kissed him and rejected him in the space of a minute, and yet he understood and accepted it without lashing out in response. Jordan didn't deserve this.

Moving completely off him, Angela sat down mournfully at the end of the couch and tried to counteract the urge to cry she felt. More confused than ever about what to do. Jordan turned to sit beside her, lost in his own thoughts as he stared off into space. He used every ounce of his remaining strength not reach across the small divide and pull into his arms. Knowing that she wouldn't welcome the affection in a moment like this.

"I'm sorry Jordan" she said sadly, finally looking at him with glistening eyes "I can't keep doing this to us."

Despite his better judgment, Jordan reached to her face and ran his knuckles over tearstained cheeks.

"We'll figure out eventually." He replied simply.

"Sometimes I think we never will" she said bleakly, the look in her eye scaring him more than he'd ever admit. She was pulling away again and Jordan didn't know what he could do to stop her distance. He had to try reach her before she was gone forever.

"Angela listen to me." Jordan said determinedly "I don't care how long it takes, or how much it hurts, we can fix this." Angela gave him a brief gloomy smile.

"You really believe that" she sighed uncertainly.

"I have to" Jordan said resolutely. Angela shook her head as she rose to her feet, unable to take the pressure that was building all around her.

"I wish I could too" she whispered despondently.

"Angela why are you giving up so easily?" Jordan exclaimed, a sudden anger filling him. Jumping to his feet he stood toe to toe with her, begging for an answer.

"Because all we ever do is hurt one another and every time we fall apart I lose another part of myself. I can't keep doing it Jordan."

"That's not going to happen Angela, I won't let it" Jordan cried out.

"Why? There are so many reasons to keep us apart". Angela asked miserably "What possible reason in this World could make you endure all this confusion and hurt I cause you?"

Jordan's hands found her face, looking straight into her eyes the words that he'd kept hidden for so long, the words he'd wanted to say to her for months, slipped off into the early morning air. Changing everything in their path as he spoke without any forward thought.

"Marry me" he replied frantically. As her eyes widened and her mouth flew open, Jordan's heart dropped into his stomach in terror. What had he done?

_**-Cliffhanger! Let me know what you think the answer is going to be? Extra long chapter is likely to follow!**_


	27. The End is Where it Begins Part 2

_**Hello loyal readers!**_

_**So here we are, finally at the end of a very long journey! 3 years in the making and its finally finished! I have loved writing this story, I have loved reading your reviews, talking to this community through private messages and writing for Angela and Jordan. When I began this story it was meant to be only 10 chapters and then it grew into something I never expected. I have changed so much in the process of writing this, I've had 3 jobs, moved country, found and lost my own Jordan Catalano. It has been more than an amazing experience. I hope you've enjoyed as much as I have. Thank you for coming with me this far! I am sad to say goodbye to Driving Lessons but this may not be the swan song of RedCatCatalano, only time will tell?**_

_**Thank you all for your support, I hope the last instalment doesn't disappoint!**_

_**Much Love and respect**_

_**-RedCatCatalano**_

* * *

"Marry me"

The words seemed to hang in the air around them, feeding off the oxygen and making it hard to breathe. Jordan's blood froze in his veins, his brain catching up with his mouth, conscious now of his rashness. Angela continued to stare at him agog between his outstretched hands, deadly silent in shock. He dropped his hands and gulped heavily, regret overtaking him as he looked at her less than encouraging reaction. Unable to find any words to break the mounting tension, he blinked rapidly and lowered his gaze with apprehension. What the hell had he been thinking? And why the hell hadn't she said anything?

Less than a foot away from him, Angela was in a state of complete shocked denial. Jordan Catalano had not just inadvertently proposed to her, she was sure she was still stuck in some lucid dream. There was not any chance that this situation could be real, could it? Angela willed herself to wake from the otherworldly feeling she was having, convinced she'd soon find herself safe and sound in her warm comfy bed. As the seconds ticked by and none of the images in front of her eyes dissipated, a new feeling began to rise up in Angela's body removing the previous dumbfounded numbness she'd been immobilized by. What replaced her shock should have been a serene and immense feeling of joy, instead was an overwhelming feeling of terror and panic. Unsure of whether Jordan had said it out of genuine want or utter last chance desperation. Not that it matter that much…..because she didn't know how to answer. Moment after moment the panic began to increase, as uncertainty started to turn in her stomach. Twisting and wrenching until a new and incredibly urgent need overtook everything else.

"Oh God, I'm gonna throw up" Angela said in a shaking voice, pushing passed a bewildered Jordan as she ran to the nearest bathroom. As a door slammed loudly down the hall, Jordan collapsed back against the couch.

"Well that's not the reaction I'd expected." He said quietly, raking a hand through his dark hair. One thing was certain, he had to talk to Shane.

* * *

The whole world around Angela seemed to spin on endlessly on its axis as the waves of nausea rushed through her. She clung onto the cold porcelain, trying to regain her equilibrium as the entire contents of her stomach exited through her mouth. This day was not beginning very well. As her retching slowly petered out and fortunately halted, Angela collapsed onto the floor, gulping deep breaths of air, her dizziness disappearing not long afterwards. She lay there for the longest moment, motionless in exhaustion and shock. Underneath her, she could feel the hard, crushed plastic of the half-forgotten pregnancy test pressing against her chest. Its presence pulled her back to reality, sparking her mind into action. Pushing herself into a seated position, she found that she'd begun to shake, fat tears were rolling down her cheeks in response to her unease.

"For the love of God Angela Chase, pull yourself together" she whispered to herself, wiping the offending tears away. Picking up the test that had fallen out of her pocket, she stared at it with uneasiness, now unable to deny the signs that pointed to its inevitable results. Sighing heavily as she wiped away the final streams of water, she laid the surprising warm plastic against her forehead. Why did life have to throw several complications at her at once, fate sure had a sense of humor! But she relented that maybe it was finally time to solve one complication at a time. Standing up, she looked between the test and the toilet bowl.

"I guess it's time to pee on a stick" she mumbled sardonically.

The seconds seemed to drag by for Angela as she waited for the minute of dread to pass. She felt as if she was on the precipice of some great change that she'd absolutely no control over, like the very fabric of her existence was coming unstuck seam by seam, yet in some ways she wasn't scared. Jordan's proposal had blind sided her and while she knew she wasn't ready to dive back into a serious relationship with him yet, it was nice to know that maybe one day it could be an option again. Jordan Catalano, that man always had a way of pulling her back in right when she was ready to give up. As Angela stared off into the distance, actively avoiding the answer that lay on the small, white stick, her thoughts began to drift, slipping to time not so different to this, when her whole world seemed to tip and turn by one small admission. The pristine walls of Jordan's bathroom faded away as Angela's mind lost itself to a cold, dark afternoon in February seventeen years before. The afternoon when one letter caused a change so minuscule and yet so profound, that it had lead her on the path to where she was now. A car journey that she would never change for any great fortune in the World.

* * *

_The last of the winter snow was beginning to melt as Angela stared out the half-misted window of Jordan's car, a slowly burning rage building inside her. The darkened houses of her neighborhood rushed by them as they headed toward an unknown destination. The image of Brian's embarrassed and disappointed face plagued her conscience, adding fuel to her already hot anger. She should have stayed and talked to him. Leaving him out there alone in the street after the wonderful words he'd written for her, it was cold. Her head swam with guilt and confusion, unanswered questions firing through her mind. What did it all mean? One thing was certain, she needed to get out of Jordan's car._

"_Stop the car" Angela said suddenly, startling Jordan who'd been blissfully oblivious to his travel companions dichotomy._

"_Wait what?" he laughed, completely perplexed by her bad humor as he glanced at her across the car._

"_Jordan, stop the car." She said again, glaring at him now. He laughed in disbelief, utterly confused by her seeming 0ne eighty turn in mood._

"_Ehmmm why?"_

_Angela exhaled angrily, crossing her arms across her chest._

"_Just do it Catalano." She replied petulantly. Jordan's own temper rose a little as he tried to hide the annoyance he felt at her flippancy._

"_Angela we're in the middle of the nowhere" he said sarcastically, gesturing to the open fields of farm land that lay either sides of the road "why do you want to stop here?"_

"_Dammit Jordan, just stop the dang car." She roared at him._

"_Fuck Angela, fine!" he shouted back, turning the car onto the snow strewn lay-by with an aggressive swing of the steering wheel. The car jolted to a halt, the engine rattling unhealthily as it cooled in the winter air. He gripped the wheel, not looking at her for a moment as he let his frustrations drift a little._

"_Now what?" he said huffily, finally calm enough to talk again._

"_Now I'm going to get out of this car and walk home. I can't be around you right now" Angela said coldly, staring at him dead in the eyes. Jordan's mouth fell open in shock, still utterly bewildered by her anger._

"_Angela, what the hell? Why?" he exclaimed, watching in horror as she ripped off her seat belt and pushed open the passenger door._

"_Seriously, what I do in the last ten minutes to piss you off." He said exasperated by her behavior as she stepped out into the cold. Leaning back into the car for a second, Angela shot him a fiery scowl._

"_You let me get into this car thinking you'd written a letter that had meant so much to me." She said bitterly, slamming the door hard behind her._

_Jordan closed his eyes for a second as realization washed over him._

"_Shit" he hissed at himself, ripping open the door to follow Angela._

_The wind was bitingly cold as Angela trudged through the sludgy remnants of the winters snow, making her almost reconsider her actions. Pulling her thick woolen coat closer to her body, she tried to ignore her increasingly numbed feet as the sludge slipped over the lip of her Doc Martins and onto her socks. Why the hell hadn't she thought of getting out of the car before Jordan had reached the outskirts of the town? It was going to take her at least 2 hours to get home. Behind her she heard Jordan's car splutter into silence and heavy footfalls crunching quickly through the wet ground toward her._

"_Angela! Angela stop please. Get back in car and let me explain" Jordan called, his progress hindered slightly by the slippery surface of the verge._

"_I don't want to listen to anything you've got to say Jordan and I'm certainly not getting back in your car. Just go" She replied angrily, not even bothering to turn to look at him. To her surprise, instead of jumping back into the warm confines of his convertible in a huff and driving off as she'd expected, Jordan closed the distance between them. Soon he was right behind her, but didn't dare reach out and touch her in case she punched him._

"_Come one Ange, its freezing out here and we're miles from town. Just get in the car." He pleaded, shivering a little as the wind picked up again._

"_I'll be fine" she retorted, still stamping through the snow._

"_Angela this is stupid, you can't walk all the way home." Jordan exclaimed in frustration, throwing his hands up in the air._

"_Watch me!" she shouted back, glaring at him for a second._

"_Oh my God, why are you like this?" he yelled._

"_Like what?" Angela spat back._

"_Like how you are! I don't understand how someone can be so…..so…..so stubborn. You realize how dumb you're being" he spluttered. This was what got Angela to finally stopped trudging through the snow. She turned on her heel and stalked furiously back to glower at him._

"_What I don't understand is how you thought making me think you'd written that letter was okay?" she spat back. Glad he'd finally gotten her attention, Jordan was now at a loss as to how to explain his actions._

"_I didn't actually say I wrote it, I just never corrected you when you assumed I did." He said quietly._

"_So it's my fault" she laughed in disbelief._

"_No that's not what I said, don't put words in my mouth!" Jordan replied grumpily. Angela shook her head at him, but swallowed her anger a little. Conceding it had been a little naïve of her to actually believe Jordan had written the letter unaided. She could at least let him explain before making a final judgment._

"_Fine, I jumped to conclusions. But that doesn't explain why you never told me the truth." She said coldly._

"_You loved that letter so much…I was afraid if I told you Brian had actually written the words, you'd go back to ignoring me again…" he said meekly, not looking at her in the eye's from the embarrassment of his confession. Angela instantly felt sorry for him as his cheeks reddened in the shame, but she refused to let herself be swayed by silly infatuations. That was until he said the next thing._

"_Besides…just cause they weren't my exact words, doesn't mean they weren't what I was trying to say. I meant them all" he mumbled. Angela couldn't help but smile a little at this. She quickly covered it with a scowl, conscious that she didn't want to let him off the hook that easily._

"_It would have meant more if it had been your words." She said huffily, walking passed him toward his car. The cold now getting too much for her to continue her ridiculous endeavor. Jordan smiled a little once he was out of her sight line. He knew she'd have to eventually see some sense._

"_And what. You'd have seriously preferred a shitty attempt from me where half the letters would be in the wrong places?" he retorted sarcastically, following her. _

"_Just shut up Jordan and start the car" She replied touchily, still scowling visibly as she wrenched open the passenger door. Jordan knew they weren't finished yet, but he was determined not to give as easily as he had the first time. Angela was worth the fight._

_Getting into the car beside her, the sat there in silence, listening to the low hum of the engine as it warmed again. The minutes dragging by as neither found the energy to talk._

"_You want me to take you home?" he asked carefully after a while, watching her hardened features soften as she stared fixedly out the window._

"_No. If I go home I have to face Brian Krakow, and I'm not ready to answer the questions that'll bring." Angela said softly, her gaze dropping to her clasped hands in apprehension, the memory of Brian's disappointed and hurt face overtaking her thoughts again. She was quickly brought back to reality by Jordan's puzzled voice._

"_What questions from Brian?" he said warily. Looking at Jordan finally, her face was open and calm. She had to tell him the truth._

"_That letter, he didn't do it to help you. He wrote it…" _

"_For you" Jordan sighed unhappily, realizing all at once how blind he'd been. Brian had understood his desperation all too easily, and he'd been all too gullible in believing the guy had only wanted to help him._

"_If you hurt him I swear I'll never speak to you ever again" Angela said fiercely, seeing his tense body language._

"_I'm not going to hurt Angela, I promise." He said simply "He can't help how he feels any more than I can". Angela tried not to react to this, but was unable to stop herself from flashing him a brief, warm smile._

"_I guess not" she murmured softly._

_The atmosphere seemed to change around them after this, like the worst of the storm was over. Jordan began to relax again, as the engine finally warmed enough for them to move again. He turned the car across the empty road and headed back toward the town._

"_So if you don't want to go home, where do you want me to take you?" Jordan said simply, staring straight ahead on the road .It was Angela's stomach that responded first, prompting a laugh from both of them. Jordan's glanced across the car to Angela for a split second, heartened to see her beaming for once._

"_Pizza place maybe?" Jordan chuckled. Angela grinned in slight embarrassment._

"_Sure why not?" she giggled._

_The light mood between them seemed to dissipate as they came to sit directly opposite one another in the booth of the pizzeria some time later. Like they were coming face to face with still lingering problems that lay in front of them. Conversation was sparse and awkward as they ate their food, like neither wanted to stray into a deeper topic. The static nature of their interaction was starting to get to Angela, her antagonized curiosity making her itch inside._

"_Jordan can I ask you a question?" she said suddenly, her face grave. Jordan paused for a second and considered the implication of having to answer this obviously serious question. But then again, at this point, what did he have to lose._

"_Okay." He replied solemnly, placing his half-eaten slice down._

"_I've been trying to figure all this stuff out for the last few hours, trying to make sense of your actions and mine and there's one thing I don't understand…one thing which I think might help me figure out why I assumed things I shouldn't have." She paused for a moment to see if he would object to her diving back into difficult waters but Jordan showed little resistance. Breathing loudly she continued "what I want to know is well….you said that you couldn't write the letter because you're too dumb. But you see that makes no sense, well because, you can write songs so clearly there's some depth and intelligence in you. So I just want to know, how can you write a song but you couldn't write a letter?" Angela sighed, looking straight in his eyes. Jordan shift uncomfortable under her sharp gaze, feeling as if she was looking right into him._

_He drew deep breath as he tried his best to explain._

"_It's like….with a song, people can think what they want about it. The meaning isn't stuck….but the letter, a letter you have to say exactly what you mean. I've never been good at saying what I mean" he answered quietly._

"_I guess that makes sense" Angela said with a half smile "I'm not exactly great at that either. I guess I just wish it was as easy for you to write songs about me, as it is for you to write about your car" she added sadly, pushing the last of her pizza round the plate. Jordan froze inside as an internal battle overtook him, willing him to just say what was in his heart. Breathing in deep again, he prepared to expose himself more than he ever had in his entire life. He was terrified._

"_Red isn't about my stupid car, who writes a song about that" he mumbled so quickly, Angela almost didn't catch it. The beginnings of a delighted grin graced her mouth._

"_Why did you tell Rickie it was then?" she exclaimed._

"_I was embarrassed and I panicked" he retorted touchily._

"_Well why the hell did you not tell me yourself, it would have saved both of us a whole lot of grief if you'd just been honest" Angela replied smiling almost in disbelief. Jordan shrugged, regretting being open about it now. Angela's momentary elation was quickly dampened by Jordan's sudden apathy, he was shutting down again. Afraid to let himself be vulnerable for once. It immediately put her on the offensive, she wasn't going to let him go back to cold and aloof after this admission. She was going to break through his defences or let him go completely._

"_Just answer one more question for me Jordan…..why did you bother trying to get me to forgive you? What was the point?" Angela said distantly. Jordan, now realizing his mistake, felt his panic rise again._

"_I don't know why?" he said shakily, not knowing how to put it into words._

"_Yes you do. Just tell me." Angela pushed, leaning forward so he couldn't avoid her eye contact._

"_Because…because" he stuttered uneasily._

"_Damn it Jordan spit it out!" she hissed_

"_I need you or something okay" the words rushed out of him in a burst of anger, almost resenting her for making him be so forthright._

"_Why?" Angela said more gently this time, her heart starting to beat fast in anticipation and happiness. She resisted the urge to pinch herself, she wasn't sure what was happening was a dream or not._

"_You make the world real. It's like I'm finally awake or something." Jordan said so beautifully honest it melted any remaining ice in Angela's heart. There it was, all that he needed to say in two simple sentences. Staring across the small distance of the table, Angela considered him for a moment. Hesitant to do the one thing she wanted to most in the world. _

"_Promise me you won't hurt me this time." She said vulnerably, her voice shaking a little as she spoke. Jordan let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, overjoyed to know he had another shot. Reaching across to her face, he ran his thumb over her cheek tenderly._

"_I can't promise that….but I'll try my damnedest" he replied sincerely._

_Angela smiled at him, knowing it was the best she could hope for right now._

"_In that case, I have one finally request." She said sweetly. Jordan nodded happily, not letting go of her face in his hand._

"_Kiss me." She beamed. Jordan's smile grew to the same size as hers before he leaned forward and did as requested. As he drew back again, he gave her a delighted grin._

"_So what now" he said hopefully, intertwining his hands with hers._

"_Bring me to the Loft and play Red for me?" Angela asked shyly. Jordan chuckled at her sudden coyness._

"_Hell why not. But first I think I want to do this a few more times" he sighed in mock weariness, leaning forward and kissing her again._

* * *

The sound of her 7 am alarm was what finally brought Angela back to reality, the same smile on her face as all those years before. But as she remembered all the hurts and trials of her life up until this point, her happy memories and feelings faded into obscurity. In some ways she longed for the simplicity of adolescent relationships, but this wasn't a decision that could be so easily made. Life was much more complicated now, every decision had a very real consequence. Pressing a button on her phone, she silenced the shrill call of her morning alarm. Checking the time again, she estimated she had been daydreaming on the bathroom floor for nearly 10 minutes. More than enough time for the pregnancy test resting on the white porcelain of the toilet to give the answer she was dreading to see. What was she going to do if it was positive? It would certainly make her situation with Jordan more complex, but even more she wondered, what would she do if it was negative? The thoughts of having another small, dark haired child made her stomach flutter with anxious excitement. She suddenly became aware that she was much more afraid of not being pregnant, than being afraid of confusing her life again with another child. It occurred to her that this sounded mildly insane, yet she did care. As she finally picked up the test, she got the answer to the question that had been hanging over her for days.

"Crap" she muttered, sighing in resignation.

* * *

Across the space of the apartment, Jordan was desperately trying to get his best friend on the phone. His stress levels were at an all-time high as he paced the hallway, knowing Angela had been missing for quite a while. Why the hell had he said anything?

"Catalano, do you have any idea what time it is? This better be good." A gruff pissed off voice suddenly said at the other end of the line.

"It is 7 am dude, hardly the middle of the night." Jordan retorted.

"Catalano how long have you known me, when was the last time you saw me getting up before 11 am willingly. So make this quick before I kick your ass." Shane growled threateningly.

"I've done something stupid." Jordan replied simply "I asked Angela to marry me".

"Mazel tov, can I go back to sleep now" Shane mumbled grumpily.

"No man, you don't understand, I didn't mean to. Shane I asked her by accident, I was afraid I was going to lose her and it just…..came out." Jordan replied desperately. There was silence at the other end of the line until Shane started busting his gut laughing.

"Oh my God Lewis, stop laughing this shit is serious!" Jordan hissed in embarrassment.

"Only you can 'accidently' propose to someone" Shane continued to howl, trying very hard to catch his breath as the giggles kept rolling "You two are like my own personal soap opera."

"Shane stop laughing, this my life we're talking about!" Jordan growled angrily. Shane caught his breath finally and sighed.

"Goddamn it I'm too tired to deal with this shit. If you're about to tell me you're thinking of running away I swear I'm going to kill you." He groaned.

"No it's not that, god I don't know." Jordan mumbled "I'm just…terrified I guess."

Shane sighed again, knowing that Jordan already knew all the answers for the questions he was going to ask Shane to help him figure out. All he really needed was support. Not being one to wait for the so called opportune time, Shane was direct with his next question.

"Ok Jordan then let's be real simple here, do you want to marry her…eventually".

Jordan paused and thought about it hard for a second. There was only one real answer

"Yes" he said earnestly. Shane smiled a little on the other side of the phone.

"Then stop acting like a dumbass, go get your girl and leave me alone" he chuckled despite his apparent petulance.

"Sorry" Jordan said sheepishly.

"It's ok" Shane yawned.

"So wanna be my best man?" Jordan joked.

"If I say yes, will you let me go asleep?" Shane complained.

"Maybe" he laughed.

"Goodbye Catalano" Shane mumbled hanging up the phone.

"Bye" Jordan chuckled, his once feverous panic calming into a lull. Now all he had to do was find Angela.

* * *

Though he feared his outburst earlier had driven her away, it didn't take Jordan long to find Angela Chase. She sat in an armchair by the window in one of the downstairs bedrooms, the room she'd spent much of last autumn recuperating in. Jordan wasn't hugely surprised he'd found her here, it had been an oasis of calm for here for much of their relationship, a place she'd gone to many a time they'd had a disagreement. Angela didn't turn to greet him as he walked across to the other chair, her gaze instead fixed at the waking City below her. The hustle and bustle of a million of people moving hundreds of feet below her feet. As Jordan sat opposite her, he couldn't help but notice a small plastic rod clasped tightly in her right hand. Dismissing it as unimportant, he tried to steady his nerves. Knowing he had to phrase his first question carefully or risk disaster. But finding the right words to say, proved more difficult than he'd anticipated. Striking up a conversation when the last words you uttered to that person was 'marry me' was a lot more difficult than he'd anticipated. He was at a loss as to where to begin, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"Stop staring at me Jordan and for the love of God stop making that face, you look like a guppy" Angela said teasingly, turning and giving him a smirk. Her gaze was warm and welcoming as she looked back at him, instantly it cut Jordan's worries in half.

"Sorry." He said sheepishly, smiling gently. Silence fell between them again, as both tried to ignore the very large maelstrom brewing in the room. Neither wanting to be the first to approach its turbulent waters.

"See anything interesting out there" Jordan said in strained cheerfulness, gesturing to the window.

"Nah, just the usual commuter versus tourist chaos." She said with a shrug

"The Park looks really good though. I might go for a walk today."

Jordan nodded, not really listening, wracking his brain for a way to open this touchy subject. Angela didn't seem to be in a bad mood, or even fazed by what had happened earlier, part of Jordan even wondered if it was wise to disrupt the peace. Yet it was Angela that forced her own hand.

"So I guess you're waiting for an answer" she said quietly, her eyes lowering to the floor. Jordan gulped, not knowing what to say.

"Yeah, maybe." He said slowly, his voice shaking a little.

When she looked at him again, he saw she felt just as terrified as he did.

"I need more time….but there's something I need to tell you" She said barely above a whisper, her lip shook as she looked at him with trepidation.

Jordan rose from his chair and knelt just in front of her.

"It doesn't matter Angie, there's something I need to say to you first." He said seriously. Angela nodded and swallowed the sudden swell of fear that had filled her. She squeezed the pregnancy test harder in hand as she waited for him to start.

"You see, the thing is I didn't mean to ask you to marry me…..It was a panicked mistake," he said shamefully. Angela's face darkened considerably as he said this, but she didn't say anything. Breathing sharply he pushed himself to keep talking lest his honesty be misconstrued.

"I was so afraid I was going to lose you again and it seemed like the only thing that would stop you from leaving". Angela's jaw clenched tightly as she held back the urge to punch him. She instead shoved him to the floor, glaring at him as she spoke.

"And that was your plan Jordan! What the hell were you going to do if I said yes?" she said bitterly. Jordan shook his head, as he rose to his feet.

"I don't know, I would have dealt with it."

"And what, come clean about your accidental proposal on the aisle? !" she hissed up at him. Jordan could see she was seething mad, so despite his reservations about scaring her off with his candor, he let every thought flow out.

"The things about it is Angela, I do want to marry you. I want you to be my wife. I want a whole bunch of kids, the white picket fence, the cats, dogs, goldfish or whatever other animals we have." He said honestly, kneeling back in front of her again "But I want to ask you when the time is right, not because it's my last resort. Hell I'd hope the next time I could at least have a ring. The only future I see is one with you."

Angela's fiery anger died in an instant as she digested everything he'd just said. It struck deep in her heart, deeper than anything he'd ever said before. It was all she'd ever wished for.

"The only future I want is with you too." She said softly, her eyes starting to brim with half formed tears. Reaching out to her, Jordan covered her hands with his and smiled at her contentedly.

"Then what the hell are we doing?" he said with a slight smirk.

"I don't know." She found herself laughing through her tears.

Jordan started laughing too as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her, trying to sooth all her worries and tears away. She responded after a moment, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. She sighed loudly as they stayed holding each other for a few moments. Angela pouted visibly as Jordan pulled back suddenly.

Rubbing her tears away with his thumb, he gave her a tender smile.

"So what do you want to do Angie?" he said sweetly. She laughed again, swiping at her eyes with her sleeve.

"Honestly…. I want to sleep right now." She said with a smirk.

Jordan chuckled as he stood up.

"Sleep….that's probably a good idea. It's been…..an insane 24 hours." He said quietly, suddenly feeling very weary. He reached out his hand for Angela to help her up and she immediately felt an unexpected rush of heat as they stood so close to one another. Judging by the look in Jordan's eyes, she knew he'd felt it too. Clearing his throat, Jordan stepped back awkwardly.

"Do you want me to stay with you or…?" He trailed off. Angela's face broke out into a warm smile, as she intertwined his hand in hers Jordan knew the answer.

"Just gimme a minute though, I need to go to the bathroom." she said suddenly with wide eyes, remembering with a start the test in her left hand.

"Speaking of bathrooms, it's not exactly encouraging to hear, I think I'm gonna throw up, after you propose to someone. " Jordan joked as she walked passed him.

"Sorry about that" Angela replied sheepishly "sometimes I get queasy when I'm nervous." turning on the faucet in the sink to mask the noise of her burying the positive test at the bottom of the trash can. She felt guilty about withholding the truth from him for a while after what had just happened, but her exhaustion was getting the better of her. She couldn't handle divulging another bombshell in her current state. Smiling to herself as she turned off the water, she was baffled how her life could change so rapidly in the space of an hour.

Jordan was already stretch out across the covers, his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling when she returned to the bedroom. Seeing her stood watching him by the doorway, he gave her a smile.

"C'mon you can stare at me later, you need your sleep girlie." He said affectionately, patting at the space beside him. Not waiting for any further invitation she lay down beside him, instantly feeling the strain of the previous day's action hitting her again. She couldn't help but close her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow. After a moment, Jordan shifted beside her and wrapped his arm around her waist. She felt her cheeks warm a little as she thought about the little secret that was growing inside her beneath Jordan's strong arms.

"I'm sorry your birthday wasn't exactly what you expected this year." Jordan murmured softly beside her.

"It's okay, you can make it up to me next year." She teased. Angela felt Jordan's smile against her head as they lay close to each other, but neither spoke again. Tiredness finally winning the battle.

* * *

The midday sun was warm and comforting as it shone down into the bedroom some hours later. The slow rise in temperature eventually made sleeping in such close quarters impossible, the body heat alone was stifling. As such, much to Angela's displeasure she awoke in the room flushed and sticky in the now repressive air. Her limbs were heavy in her post dream state, yet she somehow found the power to gently release herself from Jordan's hot grasp. Pushing herself up into a seated position, she relished in the feeling of relief she got as her energy levels rose each second. Beside her Jordan sighed softly in his sleep, his face still buried deeply in the pillow. Angela resisted the urge to kiss his rosy cheeks, not wanting to wake him and thereby have to drive straight back into a serious conversation. Giving him a brief smile, she rose from the bed to search the nearby closet. Hoping to find any half-forgotten clothes she'd left behind after moving out. Finally retrieving an ancient NYU sweatshirt and some track pants, she was also thankful to find clean underwear hidden in an overlooked drawer. It was not exactly going to be her most alluring outfit, but would be fine in order to get her back to her apartment. She shivered as she thought about the gruesome mess that awaited her there, blood always made her feel nauseous.

Down the hall she could vaguely hear the sound of the TV on full blast. Jason clearly not one bit fazed by neither of his parents reappearing all morning, had taken to playing the Xbox. She chuckled a little, wondering how she'd managed to raise that kid alone to be so well adjusted and unflappable. Her stomach did a flip as her hand instinctively went to her abdomen and she wondered, what was this kid going to be like? Smart? Brave? As neurotic as her or as charming as Jordan? Either way, she knew she'd love him or her more than life itself. The next burning question was how would Jordan take it? Things were still so uneven for them at the moment. Even when such lovely words were exchanged, in the cold light of day, both of them had to put their money where their mouth was and stop this juvenile drama. They were not teenagers anymore. Letting out another sigh, Angela pushed the negative thoughts away and slowly shuffled to the bathroom to change. Angela paused as she began to remove her hoody, the dusty, unclean feeling of her skin from the previous days exertions making her reassess her plans. Her eyes flicking to the pristine shower a few feet away, she decided she should probably wash first. She hesitated for a moment, her gaze fixing to the door that separated her from Jordan's sleeping form, wondering if he'd mind. Chastising herself for even considering he'd have an objection, she smiled to herself as she removed the rest of her dirty clothes.

Angela Chase was completely in her own World, lost to daydreams and idle thoughts under the refreshing jet streams of hot water. So oblivious to the outside world that she nearly fell over when Jordan suddenly spoke behind her.

"Well if that's not a sigh for tired eyes" he said with a wicked grin, roving over her semi covered body with delight.

"Jordan, what the hell are you doing in here!" she yelped "Get out".

His eyes lit up with mischievous glee as he watched her blush and squirm.

"Why? It's not like I haven't seen everything before" he continued to grin.

"So therefore I'm not entitled to some privacy or reprieve from your perversions?" she retorted with a faint grin, unable to maintain the pretense of annoyance despite his intrusion.

"If you want privacy, why didn't you lock the door?" Jordan smirked.

"Besides" he said more seductively, stepping closer to the glass that divided them "I'm glad you didn't, because I'm liking what I'm seeing."

Despite her obvious initial discomfort, Angela found herself smirking at his forwardness, conscious they were falling into old habits again. Therefore it couldn't hurt to play along a little.

Fully turning to face him, she was secretly thrilled to see Jordan's breath hitch as he took in the sight of her stepping closer to the glass doors.

"Jordan….maybe you could help with something?" she purred flirtatiously, looking at him through smoldering eyes that made him gulp in anticipation. He simply nodded in response, his nerves shot to pieces as she opened the shower door and he got a full view of her.

"Hand me that towel, then get in the shower because you stink Catalano." She grinned roguishly, laughing loudly as Jordan looked at her with disappointment. Grabbing the towel, he held it just out of her grasp as he stepped even closer to her with a half-smile.

"Teasing a man like that just isn't right Chase." He said sardonically "if I was any less of a gentleman you'd be in trouble." Angela leaned forward to reach behind him to get the towel, very much aware of how close together they were pressed in the small space. The wet of her body soaking his tee shirt as they stood toe to toe. Pulling the towel out of his hand, she gave him an enticing smile.

"Just as well you're a gentleman isn't it" she whispered huskily. Jordan simply smirked playfully in response, not making an attempt to move as he enjoyed the sensation of her bare body against his, only separated by a single layer of cotton clothing.

The buzzing sexual tension between was getting unbearable as the seconds in silence dragged on. Angela knew she had only two options, either she could march herself out of the room and get dressed or she could close the final few inches and see where that took them. If she was being honest, option two was looking more and more appealing as the seconds ticked by and the familiar aching for him grew inside her. Two months without him had been a very long time. Unfortunately for her, it was Jordan that made the decision for them both. Stepping an inch or two back, he motioned with his head to the open doorway.

"Go before I change my mind about being a gentleman." He said with a smile, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of knowing just how turned on she'd made him. Wrapping the towel around herself she stuck her tongue out at him haughtily, smiling to herself as she noticed the telltale bulge of frustration in his pants as she walked out. Jordan exhaled loudly as she left with her clean clothes.

"That woman is trying to kill me" he murmured huffily to himself, already knowing he'd have to take a very cold shower to solve his current problem.

Angela was searching in the closet when Jordan came back into the room sometime later, her wet hair tied up into a loose ponytail that fell just over her shoulders. She hadn't gotten round to putting on her sweatpants and stood bend over the drawer in just her sweatshirt and panties much to Jordan's glee. He stood there admiring her backside as she continued to root around the last drawer.

"Quit staring at my ass Jordan" she laughed, not evening looking back at him as she stood up.

"Well put on some damn pants then" he laughed in return "what were you even looking for?"

Angela let out a long sigh of defeat.

"I just need some socks but…." She trailed off as she turned, her speech failing her as she came face to face with Jordan, who had also neglected to put most of his clothes back on. She knew he'd done it on purpose to pay her back for teasing him earlier. He smirked proudly as her face flushed pink again as she drank in the sight of him stood in his pristine white boxers, newly washed hair sticking out in every direction. It almost made her knees weak.

"Focus Angela for the love of God" she screamed at herself.

"Something wrong?" Jordan said after a moment, a teasing smile of triumph on his face.

"No" Angela replied touchily, walking briskly over to the bed to get her sweat pants "A part from the fact it makes you look like an ass when you stand there flexing for no reason Jordan". His grin grew bigger as he walked closer to her as she hastily pulled on her pants, trying desperately not look as flustered as she felt.

"There was a time when you found my so called flexing endearing." Jordan replied flirtatiously, a hungry look entering his eyes as he got closer to her, the memory of her in the shower suddenly driving excitement through him. Angela's own pulse quickened as he approached, the unmistakable predatory stare of seduction set on her face.

"Yeah well, there was also a time when you didn't have to resort to such silly schemes to get me to sleep with you. You're trying to hard Jordy" she grinned devilishly. Now mere inches away from her, Jordan's smile grew even bigger as his heart rate rose.

"Is that what I'm doing?" he said archly, beaming at her "I thought I was simply giving you a taste of your own medicine."

"Hey, you barged in on me remember." Angela smirked, crossing her arms and taking another step closer to him, feeling the heat radiating off his body.

"Baby I couldn't see a single thing properly until you opened the damn door and stood right in front of me. At least I had the decency to wear underwear." Jordan murmured playfully, leaning down to look at her directly in the eye.

"It's not like you complained" Angela replied impishly. Jordan let out a throaty chuckle.

"No I didn't" he said softly "what man would?" Angela shrugged, painfully aware that were as physically close to one another as possible without actually touching. The anticipation was actually killing her.

"The real question is here Angela Chase is…." Jordan paused as he moved even closer to her, his warm breath making her shiver as it hit her cheeks "Is my so called scheme working?"

Angela's gaze was steady as she looked back at him expressionlessly, her mind going into overdrive as she processed all that Jordan meant. Later on she would swear it was her crazy pregnancy hormones that had made her do what she did next. Because after all the emotional roller-coasters she'd been on in the previous 24 hours, she had reached her breaking point. Her self-control was shot to pieces, she wanted him badly.

"Fuck it" she muttered fiercely, utterly surprising Jordan as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him so deeply he almost saw stars. Her lips tasted of honey and she smelled of fresh vanilla, Jordan was hooked in an instant. He kissed her back voraciously, playing with her tongue in a way that made her groan with pleasure. Her hands raked to her usual spot in his hair, driving him on to let his hands wander to more intimate places. They were both soon breathless as they clung tighter to one another, their kisses becoming hard and frantic. It was the first time in months that either had felt akin to this burning yearning for the others bare skin. It consumed their every being, the ecstasy of physical contact unbound by time or conscience. Nothing was left to drive them apart and nothing concerned them but the pleasure of they felt. Both knew the others body so well, it wasn't long before they were both panting heavily. Pulling back a fraction to catch his breath, Jordan laughed a little as he leaned his head against hers.

"I'll take that as a yes to my previous question." He grinned cockily, his hands resting securely on her ass. Angela teased the hair at the back of his head with her fingers.

"I'd take as a maybe" Angela replied breathily, her eyes dark and desirous.

"So does that mean you want me to stop?" he asked smoothly, his thumb playing with the waist band of her sweat pants. Angela pulled back and arched an eyebrow at him with a smirk. Placing her hands on his bare chest, she leaned forward and kissed him just below his collar bone, her tongue dragging over the warm skin ever so lightly.

"Fuck no." she growled huskily.

Jordan groaned as she pushed her hip into his as she kissed him again, the friction of her body rubbing against the tip of his ever hardening dick. The throbbing in his boxing now bordering on painful, as he grinded himself into her more forcefully. Slipping his fingers under her sweatshirt, he quickly dispensed with the impediment to his wicked urges and set about teasing her chest just as she had done to him. Jordan was encouraged by the deep moan Angela let out as he hit the sweet spot at the intersection of her neck and shoulder as his left hand began to drift under the band of her pants. His mouth and hands causing more of her skin to flush and redden in response to his touch as he kissed between the valley of her still clothed breasts. Her bra was quickly dispensed with as he traced the outline of her nipple with his tongue. Angela tried to muster the ability to respond and torment back, but her senses were deadened by the sudden onslaught of sensations that rushed through her. Before she could even try to move her hands to the warm confines of Jordan's tenting boxers, he hand found his target at the bull's-eye at the apex of her thighs. She bit his lip unintentionally as her whole body tensed in response, a whimper escaping her lips as his fingers brushed over it again. It was all she could take, the beginnings of her premature release causing her knees to fully buckle and them to both stumble onto the bed.

Jordan and Angela both roared with laughter as they collapsed in a heap on the mattress. Angela took the brief break in action to regain some of the upper hand as Jordan tried to reposition himself. He gasped as her hands snaked down between them and into his boxers. Her hand moved up and down the shaft of his now full formed erection with slow precision, making him grunt with strained pleasure. Jordan tried his best to concentrate on kissing her body again, but Angela's knowledge of his nether regions was making things problematic.

"Angela" he groaned after a few moments against her mouth "Oh God! Please stop or I'll come." For once she listened and halted her progress, instead moving her hands out to pull his boxers off. Jordan breathed more freely as the tension that had built up lessened a little.

"Better" she purred gutturally, her hands running over his naked backside and all way up his muscular back to his shoulders. She kissed him achingly slowly as her hips pressed insistently once more into his with rising intensity. Shivering a little in electrified response, Jordan grinned wolfishly, knowing what was about happen was probably going to be a memorable encounter.

"Infinitely" he growled playfully. Reaching down again, he started to pull the old sweatpants off her with a smirk as he kissed back with similar tantalizing restraint. Finally freeing her of her pants and underwear, he slid his hands up her thighs to rest on her hips. Already knowing it wasn't going to be long now, the wetness of her readiness that stuck to him almost making him come there and then.

Jordan was just about to make his final passionate assault when a thought suddenly halted his amorous activity. Angela frowned visibly as he pulled back cursing.

"Fuck! I can't believe I left them upstairs" he groaned rolling off her.

"Jordan, what the hell? You can't just stop like that." Angela scowled huffily, burning to be satisfied fully.

"I'm going to have to, I left all my condoms upstairs. We've no protection and I am NOT walking past Jason with a raging hard on." Jordan sighed unhappily as his frustration made his cock ache painfully. Angela breathed out loudly, before climbing on top of him with an enticing smirk.

"It's fine. We'll do without just this once." Jordan arched a surprised eyebrow at her as he rested his hands once more on her hips, almost unable to stop the urge to thrust up into her there and then.

"Much as I want more kids with you, I don't think we have to start right this second. I don't want to take the chance of impregnating you on our first round of make-up sex" Jordan chuckled, highly amused by Angela's petulant pout.

"It's a little too late for worrying about that in my current state. I'm not going to get any less pregnant" Angela mumbled to herself as she spoke without thinking, smiling a little at the irony. She immediately regretted her lack of foresight or memory of Jordan's excellent hearing as she saw his eyes grow wide in shocked understanding.

"Shit" she hissed loudly, smacking herself in the face for her stupidity as she rolled back off Jordan. That was not exactly how she'd intended to break the news. Beside her Jordan's face had gone snow white, his mouth hanging open as he stared at her in disbelief.

"I'm sorry could you repeat that" he managed to gasp out, his voice unusually high. Angela looked at him sheepishly, her face now the color of tomato as she struggled to come up with an explanation.

"Emmmmm…..well you see" she began awkwardly.

"Oh my God you're pregnant!" Jordan exclaimed loudly, collapsing back against the bed as panic rose up in his chest.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to tell you like this, but I only found out this morning and I didn't want to dump it on after all the chaos that happened earlier. I didn't want to add further pressure to this marriage issue" Angela babbled, placing a hand on Jordan's chest to try and sooth his anxiety.

"I'm still freaking out a little too" she conceded, her own panic making her stomach lurch. Jordan looked at her guardedly, his eyes suspicious and unfriendly.

"Is it mine?" he asked coldly, the tone in his voice showing an underlying desperation for the child to be his blood. Angela scowled at him in disbelief before slapping his shoulder forcefully.

"No Jordan it's Shane Fucking Lewis' kid, we're secret lovers" she retorted angrily "Oh course it's yours you jerk, how many guys do you…"

Angela's sarcastic rant was swiftly ended by a delighted Jordan rushing forward and kissing her with an uncontrollable joy, holding her tight to his body. Jordan kissed her so tenderly and full of love, she knew instantly that she had never had a single to worry about telling him. He was ecstatic. As he pulled back Angela was greeted by the biggest smile she'd ever seen on his face. She couldn't help but beam back at him, running her fingers over the creases of his smile.

"Wait…..you're okay with this." She said with delighted disbelief.

"Are you kidding, this is best news I've ever gotten." Jordan exclaimed excitedly.

"You're an idiot you know that for thinking it was anyone else's" she said mockingly.

"I know, but I'm too happy to care" he replied guiltily, his eyes shining with glee. As she lay there underneath him, glowing from within and filled with joy, Jordan knew he could not love any more than he did at moment. Brushing stray hairs away from her face, he leaned down again to kiss her softly.

"You know this seriously complicates things" Jordan laughed after a moment. Angela smiled wryly, running her hand up his arm to hook her arms behind his head.

"Hence why I didn't tell you this morning after our conversation about the future".

"Is that why you rushed to the bathroom?" Jordan asked with questioning smile.

"Yep, after your botched accidental proposal, I had a sudden case of morning sickness. Not a great combination" Angela laughed. Jordan's face grew more serious after a second or two and she knew the inevitable important conversation was imminent.

"So….what does this mean for us? I mean technically I'm still your ex-boyfriend." He said solemnly "Because whatever happens between us, I want to be a part of this kid's life." Angela sighed jadedly, gently pushing him off her so she could get into a seated position.

"What it means is that if things don't work between us, that we don't put our kids through what happened to us with my parents. If we're together it's because we want to be with the other person, not because we feel obligated to be with one another." She said honestly. Jordan nodded in agreement, knowing everything she said was right.

"And what does that mean right now, because frankly I want you back" Jordan said openly, looking at her hopefully.

"Right now, I can safely say we're on the same page. I'm tired of fighting it" Angela said with a bashful smile. Jordan's face split into a giddy, beaming smile.

"I guess than there's only one thing left to do" he said in mock seriousness, his hands moving across to catch her face between them, thumbs tracing the outline of her cheeks.

"What?" she asked with an innocent look that made his heart quicken.

"Finish where we left off." He replied roguishly, kissing her passionately as he guided back against the bed pillows. Angela responded immediately, giggling as she pulled the covers of them both. Neither having a care in the world.

Nothing was held back this time as Jordan soon had Angela panting with satisfaction. His pace was slow and steady as he thrust into her, easing them both back into sync with one another. Once she began to tighten her legs around him, Jordan knew he could drive deeper and quicker into her center. She gasped and bit his lip as her inner walls tightened in response. All the pain, the lies, the mistakes and all the insecurities that had plagued their relationship seemed to disappear around them. The closer they both came to their releases, the more everything that had gone wrong before seemed like trivial problems. Today was a new beginning, a carte blanch for them both. It was going to be tough, but they knew they could make it through it all now. As Angela whimpered his name as she came, Jordan fought to control his own liberation. He collapsed against her as it finally overtook him. Neither of them moved as they relished in each other post coital bliss.

"I love you so much Jordan Catalano sometimes it scares me." Angela whispered after a few minutes as she kissed his neck. He kissed her back in response.

"I'll love you till the day I die." Jordan smiled gently, his hands moving down to her abdomen. His heart swelled with unbridled pride as he thought about what lay growing in there.

"And I can't wait to meet this one" he said sweetly, eliciting a wide beaming grin from Angela, the smile she only gave to him.

"Me neither" she replied contentedly.

* * *

An hour or two later Jason was surprised to see his father practically skipping around the kitchen.

"Good afternoon Junior, how are you?" he said with an amiable grin. His amazing good humor startled Jason a little, especially when Jordan suddenly gave him a quick hug of hello. After weeks of dark moods, Jason was disconcerted by his father's jovial disposition.

"Ehmmmm…. Are you okay?" Jason said with concern, looking at Jordan carefully as he made a peanut butter sandwich.

"Better than okay!" Jordan continued to smile.

"Did you start taking some meds I don't know about?" Jason said in disbelief, still feeling he was missing something. Jordan chuckled as he made a second sandwich, enjoying the puzzled expression on his sons face.

"Nope, the only thing I'm high on is life." He replied with a smirk. Jason narrowed his eyes at his father, even more confused when his mother reappeared at the breakfast bar with a similar expression to Jordan.

"Okay….what the hell is going on?" Jason spluttered, throwing his hands up in the air.

Walking over to Jordan, Angela wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his back as he finished their sandwiches, giving Jason a smile as she looked at him.

"Wait…." He choked loudly "Is this what I think it is?"

Jordan looked back at Angela with a conspiratory grin.

"Maybe?" Angela said nonchalantly.

"Are you guys back together or something?" he asked hurriedly, looking between them hopefully. Angela shrugged her shoulders before letting go of Jordan and grabbing a bottle of orange juice from the refrigerator.

"Hey buddy do you want a p and j sandwich?" Jordan asked simply, not answering Jason's question.

"No I don't want a sandwich I want to know what's going on?" Jason replied in clear frustration.

Dropping a plate of sandwiches in front of him with a smirk, Angela walked off toward the TV room. Jordan shook his head with a guilty grin as he picked up the other plate. He decided torturing Jason had gone far enough.

"Your Mom is pregnant….You're going to be a brother." Jordan leaned in and whispered as he walked after Angela. Jason's mouth fell open as he digested what he'd said.

"Wait what?" he shrieked leaping after them.

* * *

_**Epilogue:**_

There were only two great things Jordan Catalano had learned in his thirty five years on Earth. One of which was that often those who were meant to love you the most sometimes didn't and the second was, sometimes even when you hurt them the most, the people that shouldn't logically love you, always will find a way and a reason to. That was what real love was like, it stung like hell, but for the right one it was worth it. The year and 3 months of Jordan Catalano's life following that fateful morning in April had turned out to be happiest time he'd ever had, sure there had been difficulties, but what good life didn't have complications. Point in case was the shock that hit him when he and Angela had gone to their 2nd scan together and it turned out they're little second chance baby was in fact two second chance babies. The look of horror on Angela's face still made him laugh as she cursed him for his so called 'super sperm'.

That had been the beginnings of a time he liked to affectionately call "Angela's crazy phase" where she'd threatened to leave him several times for trivial things, including jokingly saying he wanted to call one of the twins Jeremy after the Pearl Jam song. Jordan had taken it in his stride, knowing never to take any of these fights serious, mostly as these arguments were often swiftly followed by uncontrollable crying and teary apologies from his girlfriend telling him how much she loved him. She still blamed him for her possibly losing her figure and for how much her feet swelled now in the summer heat. It was always the same statement.

"Damn you Jordan Catalano and you're stupid super sperm".

But then there would be the moments where she would kiss him out of nowhere, tell him just how much it meant to her to have him there to go through this with her. Jordan felt a kind of lingering guilt for the implication that these statements brought, reminding him just how difficult and lonely her pregnancy with Jason must have been. As such, Jordan tried his best to be at her beck and call, no matter how ridiculous her cravings or requests were. Plus there were certain advantages to Angela's raging pregnancy hormones, they made her constantly turned on for one. A fact that often made Jordan very happy indeed.

By the third trimester, Angela's mood swings had levelled out somewhat and they had spent the last of the glorious summer by the beach in the Hamptons in the same house she'd rented the year before. This was where Jordan finally made an honest woman out of her, or at least promised to make an honest woman out of her. It had been their second to last day in house, Jason was off with some friends, while Jordan and Angela sat in the swing chair on the porch facing the water. She was reading a book and Jordan had been looking at the news headlines on his blackberry. The day was peaceful and quiet, and even the usual August swelter had chosen to give them a reprieve. The thought had struck him as his attention was caught by the simple sight of a stray piece of Angela's golden hair swaying in the light coastal breeze. She sat there totally absorbed in her book as he'd taken in the sight of her, glowing with new life and verve, her stomach swelling with the weight of his unborn babies and something seemed to snap within him. Jordan had been carrying round the ring for a while, waiting for the right moment or time to finally ask her. His mouth had been bone dry when he'd found the nerve to talk, the ring laying heavy in his hand.

"Angela" he said barely above a whisper. She raised her eyes from the book, a quizzical but amiable look on her face. He didn't kneel, it seemed too archaic a gesture for the two of them. He simply opened his hand to reveal the ring as he leaned forward toward her.

"Will you marry me?". Her eyes widened as a smile stretch across her mouth.

"I was wondering when you were finally going to give me that thing." She said giddily, taking the silver ring from his hand.

"You knew I had it?" Jordan groaned loudly.

"Sweetie I known you better than you know yourself" she answered with a wry smile "Plus it fell out of your pocket that night Shane took you to that sports bar on 72nd."

"Great" Jordan muttered shamefully, his face reddening in embarrassment "So I've been worrying for weeks about you finding it in my shorts, and you'd already replaced it in my pants before we'd even left Manhattan."

Angela nodded with grin as she slipped the band onto her finger, admiring how looked on her hand with a pleased smile. Jordan watched her with growing interest, already knowing he'd gotten his answer.

"At least it's a step up from the last time I asked you to marry me." He sighed sardonically.

"Honestly….I would have killed you of you'd made a big scene and did something cliché" Angela grinned as she leaned forward to give him a quick kiss "I couldn't ask for a better proposal."

"So…." Jordan began, looking at her pointedly as she picked up her book and began to leaf through it in mock disinterest. Looking back at him with a teasing smirk, she sighed and put the book back down.

"It's an unequivocal yes Jordan Catalano." She said earnestly, leaning in close to him. Kissing her with a delighted smile, Jordan drew her into him.

"But we are not getting married until after I have these twins, I have been dreaming about our wedding since I was 15 and I'm not looking like a white blimp in all the pictures." Angela said in genuine seriousness as she snuggled into him. Jordan let out a chuckle as he responded.

"No problem, but for the record, you'd be the most attractive white blimp bride ever" he said cheekily. Angela gave him a light smack on the chest before laughing in spite of herself.

After that time seemed to whorl by in a flash of hospital checkups, work commitments, school events to attend and false labors to investigate. There had been strollers to buy, cribs to build and rooms to paint, and of course the whole penthouse to baby proofed and prepare. Before they even had time to breathe, the time came for the new Chase-Catalano's to enter the big bad World. They had of course chosen to arrive at the most convenient time of 3 am in morning, the day after thanksgiving. Jordan was more akin to zombie than a man when he was roused from his sleep by Angela shaking him violently and roaring he had to take them to the hospital. Somehow he'd managed to grab everything in a bag and bundled her and a near catatonic Jason into his SUV. It was only after he'd checked Angela into the labor ward that he realized he'd forgotten to out on pants. One of the orderlies had kindly given him a spare, clean pair of scrubs to put on as he stood by Angela's bedside. Jason sat slumped in one of the armchairs, his eyes red rimmed and heavy as he stared off into space. It was then Jordan rethought his plan to have his son attendance to this event and sent him go back home to go get Patti. Jason readily complied, not really wanting to witness what was about happen as his mother started to scream bloody murder as contractions raged through her. As the time came closer to the birth, Angela's rants became more and more irrational and therefore hilarious to Jordan. He had to bit his tongue several times to try not to laugh at her.

"I swear to god Jordan Catalano, you and I are never ever having sex again! Why'd I let you touch me?" she yelled as the midwife stifled a giggle. Jordan simply smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"I know, I know. I'm a terrible person".

"I mean it Catalano. Don't even think of coming NEAR me ever again" she shouted through a sob.

"Okay I won't." he said with an uncontrollable laugh. Swiping at him with her hand but missing his head, she scowled angrily.

"Oh my God are you really laughing at me at a time like this? While I am trying to prepare my body to give birth to your kids?"

Jordan bit his lip again as he suppressed his giggles.

"You're unbelievable" she muttered huffily.

Despite all her aggression toward him, all of this animosity disappeared the moment the first of the babies were born. Jordan felt an indescribable feeling of pride and love as he held his tiny new born son in his arms, quickly followed by an urge to cry when he held his even smaller baby daughter. It was akin to the feeling he'd gotten when he'd first discovered he was Jason's father. That feeling of wholeness and belonging to something greater than himself, that unmistakable rush of unconditional love and need to protect them from the harshness of the World. They named the boy Dylan Peter Catalano, the middle name being suggested by Angela much to Jordan's delight and the girl was named Danni Patricia Catalano. They'd laughed a little at the fact they'd given their children the exact same initials, but the names seemed to suit them. Jason was the first one to see them and promptly burst into tears as he held his little sister. Angela had watched the scene with a gentle smile, everyone she loved most in the world finally together in one room. Catching Jordan's eyes with hers she reached out and took his hand, smiling at him contentedly. He squeezed her hand back with a grin, basking in the wonderful feeling of having his family around him. He felt home.

The twins grew rapidly and it amazed Jordan everyday just how much they changed in front of his eyes. Dylan was loud and boisterous, with eyes as green as fine emeralds like his mother. Danni on the other hand was quieter but every bit as cheeky as her brother, had Jordan's eyes the color of bluebells. Both of them were blond and beautiful and more enriching to his life than he'd ever thought possible. Sure raising babies turned out to be more of a learning curve then he'd originally envisioned, what with the complication of changing a squirming and often uncooperative baby's diaper and the often sleep deprived nights that accompanied it. Yet neither Angela nor Jordan would have changed it for the world. Life was chaotic, but life was also good.

Time raced on for everyone in the household. Jordan watched as his eldest son went from skinny teenager to a broad shouldered and strapping six foot two inches tall man in a matter of months. By the time it came for him to get his drivers permit, Jason had fixed the car that Jordan had given, much to his father's immense satisfaction. Angela on the other hand was less happy about it, but couldn't stop him from using the car. A deal was a deal. Jason was already looking ahead to college, hoping to use his excellent grades and baseball prowess to garner interest from one or two of the Ivy leagues as he headed into his senior year. His plan was working and there was talk of early admission to Yale or Penn State if he played his cards right. Both Angela and Jordan were beyond excited by the prospect of this opportunity and it beggared belief for them that their son, the product of a slacker and daydreamer, had reached such heady heights. But just like Danni and Dylan, Jason had always been the best parts of both of them.

Straightening his tie in the mirror Jordan breathed in deeply as his mind drifted back to reality. Every single moment he'd lived in the last three and a half years since meeting Angela again had lead up to this point. Fate had brought them back into each other's lives, but love and hard work had kept them in each other's lives. Sure he was nervous, but he was also excited. It was all he'd ever wanted in life. Behind him at the door way Shane cleared his throat, an expectant smile on his face.

"You ready Catalano" he asked evenly, smoothing down his suit with an encouraging wink.

"Born ready Lewis" Jordan replied with a confident smirk.

Not too far from Jordan's room, Angela stood scrutinizing her appearance in the full length mirror of the bridal suite. She'd opted for a simple white dress that ended an inch below the knee, a crimson colored sash tied just below her bust which had been added by her mother's suggestion. She smiled as her fingers traced its vibrant silken fabric, she'd always loved the color red. Behind her Patti watched her proudly, so pleased that this day had finally come.

"Angela Baby, I think it's time" Rickie said with a gentle smile as he extended his hand. On her left Rayanne gave her an encouraging wink.

"Do I look okay?" she murmured meekly, a sudden bout of terror hitting her. This was actually happening. Angela Chase was actually about to walk down the aisle to marry Jordan Catalano.

"You look amazing Mom" Jason said sweetly appearing at the door.

"He's waiting" he added with a smirk. Angela returned his smirk with a light chuckle.

"Better go before he makes a run for it" she joked.

As Angela finally began to make her way down the aisle, Rickie holding her arm so tight it almost hurt as they walk toward Jordan, her heart began to beat faster. On either side of her, she saw the faces of friends old and new smiling up at her as she passed them. She saw old college friends, work colleagues, even distant relative she didn't even remember inviting. Angela had to stop herself from squeaking with joy as she spotted Sharon Cherski amongst the masses, giving her the biggest smile as she locked eyes with her oldest friend. It meant a lot to her that Sharon had come all this way to see her get married. To her left, Angela's eyes met Brian Krakow as he bounced his chatterbox of a daughter on his knee. Giving her a wink, Angela marveled at how her life had turned out. Everyone that meant something to her sat on either side her and she had never felt so loved.

As Jordan finally turned to face her, time seemed to slow. Every step she took closer to him seemed like a step toward a new and fuller future, leaving everything that has caused them issues behind her in the past. Standing there in his fine cut charcoal grey suit, white shirt and crimson tie, she'd never seen him look so handsome. It all seemed like a dream as she got closer to the altar, the beautiful back drop of the late evening sun creating a sky of a million colors as its rays danced off the tranquil waters behind Jordan. It was everything she'd ever hoped for. Behind her she could her one of the twins quietly calling to her as they sat with Patti, she gave them a quick wave before turning back to Jordan with a beaming grin. His smile matched hers as she made the final approach, and all they could see was each other. Holding out his hand, Jordan's pulse quickened as she took it in hers.

"You look like an angel today" he mumbled so quietly only she could hear him.

"You don't look half bad yourself" she beamed delightedly.

"Are you ready to do this, because I'm terrified" he asked softly, his nerves finally taking control. Squeezing his hand reassuringly as they both turned to face the priest, she smiled affectionately.

"No. But we're already here now, it might be embarrassing to try run away in front of everyone" She grinned teasingly.

Jordan couldn't help but laugh, his nerves now forgotten.

"Angela Chase I love you."

"I know" she grinned, her eyes sparkling with love as she gazed at him.

"Are you both ready to start?" the priest said a welcoming smile.

Looking at one another with excited restlessness, they both nodded in agreement.

The rest of ceremony had seemed to go by in a happy blur, before long the all-important questions had to be answered in front of all their friends and family. The unfaltering 'I do's' the sweetest sounds to their ears as they made the promise of faithfulness and loyalty to each other for life. Angela could feel Jordan's hands shake as he placed his ring on her finger, that uncertain and vulnerable look in his eyes that had always intrigued her. Even now when she'd promised to be his for the rest of her days, there still lay some underlying fear of rejection within him. And that was one of the many reasons why she'd wanted to marry him, he loved her just as much as she loved him. One of things that she'd learned was a little insecurity in a relationship was okay, because it meant you still cared enough to worry. Giving him a reassuring and gentle smile as she caught his eyes again, she took his hand in hers to put the band on his finger. She barely heard anything else the priest had said until he had announced them as husband and wife. Leaning forward to kiss Jordan as their guest broke out into thunderous applause, Angela beamed broader than Jordan had ever seen.

"I swear if you slip me any tongue you and I are not consummating this marriage tonight" Angela whispered jokingly as she and Jordan got closer together. Jordan laughed as he kissed as chastely as possible. Never as happy as at this moment in his entire life.

Many hours later, the party was in full swing as they celebrated the long awaited wedding. Everyone was dancing and laughing as Jordan sat at the bridal table watching them all. Not far to his right, Jason stood swinging Danni around in his arms to gentle, slow song. Her big blue eyes full of happiness and delight. On the other side of the room, Dylan sat on his grandmother's knee as she sang him a song, his chubby face laughing at the funny faces she pulled at him. All around him. Jordan saw nothing but happiness and for the first time he truly felt home. Behind him Angela wrapped her arms him as she kissed the top of his head contentedly.

"We did good" she said serenely, walking round to sit on his knee. Jordan wrapped his arms around her as he gave her a quick kiss.

"Yeah we did, but do think we've finally learned" he sighed happily.

"Learned what?" Angela asked curiously, cocking her head to one side.

"To drive" Jordan smirked.

Angela looked at him confusion, not knowing where he was going with this train of thought.

"You always said falling love was like learning to drive a car and about learning not to take your turns too wide. Do you think we have?" Jordan said a smug smile. Angela was touched that he'd remembered the innocuous conversation they'd had so many years before, yet she was surprised. Jordan had always been more astute than he'd let people believe.

"Where's the fun in life if you don't take one or two turns a little wide" she replied with cheeky grin, giving him a lingering kiss

"But I can say unequivocally we both are unarguably good drivers by now". Jordan chuckled.

"It's been a ride" he replied sardonically.

"Definitely!" she laughed "Now can we stop sitting here alone like dorks."

"Sure" Jordan laughed heartily "Care to dance Mrs. Catalano?"

"I thought you'd never ask Mr. Catalano" Angela answered with a coy smile, leading him onto the already heaving dance floor.

There had been many things that Angela Chase had learned in her thirty three years on Earth, but the greatest she had ever been taught had been about love. Life had thrown everything it had at her, poverty, heartbreak and even death. She had met every challenge with grit and determination, she had survived because she'd had something to fight for. That was the one thing that was unarguable in her opinion. Her love for her son, for her mother, and especially for Jordan was the reason she still had a beating heart. Love she'd found was dangerous, it was destructive and selfish, but it also was transformative and life changing. It hadn't been easy for them to reach this point, and it wasn't going to be easy for them to stay at this state of perpetual happiness, but it was always worth it. The future was uncertain, but as she looked at Danni and Jason, Dylan and her mother and Jordan straight in front of her, she knew it was going to be amazing. Love and life had always be like driving a car to her, you could know all the rules, it didn't mean you wouldn't make mistakes every now again. As long as you stayed calm, kept your wits about you and learned from the error everything would be okay. One thing was clear to her now, no matter how long and daunting the open road of life seemed, the more people you had to embark on the adventure, the better your life was. Now with Jordan forever by her side, the uncertainty of life didn't seem so scary anymore. No matter how wide the turn would be, he'd always be there to help her correct their course. Together they were unbeatable. Jordan Catalano and Angela Chase, no one could do it better.

_** FIN**_


End file.
